Disclaimer: See Part 1.
*****
INT - CASTLE UBERWALD
Angua and Evil Angua are locked in combat, exchanging blows almost too fast for the eye to follow. The style appears to be a combination of several styles, including Kung Fu and Jujitsu.
Angua's hands, we may notice, are still protected by the iron gauntlets, but it seems that whomever programmed Evil Angua put a lot of research into it; though the combat wavers back and forth in the favor of one or the other, they are evenly matched. [I wonder what else Angua learned in Princess School...]
However, Angua is beginning to tire, and she falls back a step, then another, to avoid the relentless rain of blows from the tireless droid. Already her clothing is torn [tastefully - this is still only PG-13!] and she has a few angry-looking cuts on her exposed skin.
Angua spots an opening in the droid's defense and seizes it, filling it with a feint with one gauntleted fist towards the droid's head. Evil Angua grabs it easily - leaving herself unguarded for the left hook to the exposed machinery of her face. The cybereye sparks as the armoured fist connects with it, and the droid staggers, some of her servos whirring audibly.
Angua runs, heading upstairs.
Evil Angua straightens up, her footing slightly less certain than it was before. The red glow in her cybereye blinks erratically as she heads back towards the stairwell.
EXT - CASTLE UBERWALD
In the midst of the still-raging storm, the small vessel slowly eases towards the landing platform jutting out from the castle. Artoo is already there, a small satellite dish oscillating at the top of his dome. After a few bumps and bounces [though by no means as bad as it was in Lancre], the ship finally lands and powers down. As the gull-wing door opens, Igor shambles out of the nearby gothic archway, apparently immune to the driving rain but understandably apprehensive of the lightning.
Carrot stops short as he sees the deformed servant, unsure how to proceed.
CARROT
Threepio?
Threepio pokes his head out of the ship and sees Igor
PONDER THREEPIO
Oh. Good evening, Igor.
IGOR
[anxious] Good evening, Threepio thir... the Printheth ith in trouble--
CARROT
[urgent] Where is she?
IGOR
Thee's inthide...
[Carrot leaps from the ship and barrels past Igor into the castle]
... fighting with thomething really bad.
[beat]
[to Threepio] Doeth he know?
PONDER THREEPIO
I don't think so, not yet. I doubt she's told him, anyway. Where are her parents? We have to get them to safety.
IGOR
They're in the lab. They were hurt bad.
PONDER THREEPIO
Show me.
IGOR
Walk thith way.
He shambles away through the archway. Threepio hesitates, then:
PONDER THREEPIO
[aside] No. That joke's been done to death.
He walks normally after Igor.
CARROT
races desperately through the eternally spooky and cobwebbed corridors of the castle.
CARROT
[shouting] Angua?! [sotto] Please be okay... please be okay... [shouting] ANGUA!
ANGUA
is pounding her way up a darkened spiral staircase, her breath ragged with fatigue. Her silver- inflicted cuts are bleeding badly, and it seems that she's staying on her feet by force of will alone.
CARROT [o.s.]
[distant] Anguaaa!
PRINCESS ANGUA
[sotto] Carrot...
She looks like a shipwreck victim who is out of food but has just spotted land in the distance.
THE LABORATORY
Igor and Threepio respectively shamble and walk over to a series of tables, two of which bear large wolfhounds, of a similar sort to "Princess." Any one of them would be taller than Carrot on its hind legs. The dogs are unconscious or sedated, with a number of bandaged wounds each, and their breathing is laboured.
Threepio approaches one of them, and it opens its eyes groggily and whines.
PONDER THREEPIO
Not to worry, Your Highness... we're going to get you to safety.
[the dog growls]
I don't know where she is just yet. A friend has gone to look for her. Just try to relax. [to Igor] I trust it's safe to move them?
Igor, deceptively strong, already has the other dog over his domed shoulders.
IGOR
No broken ribth. I thplinted any other breakth. Mostht of it ith thilver damage. Jutht be careful.
Threepio gently takes the other dog in his arms, cradling its head on his metallic shoulder, and he and Igor take their precious burdens back out of the lab.
ANGUA
reaches a landing and pauses for breath.
EVIL ANGUA [o.s.]
Come out, come out, wherever you are...
Angua looks back down the stairs, and sees...
EVIL ANGUA
standing two bends down, brandishing the steel trident. The glow from her cyber-eye is still erratic, and flickers weakly.
PRINCESS ANGUA
[breathless] No...
She continues desperately up the stairs, towards the laboratory.
Evil Angua follows predatorily.
CARROT,
still searching for Angua, hurries down a corridor just in time to intercept Angua as she staggers out of the dark archway and practically falls into his arms. She fights his grasp briefly, then...
PRINCESS ANGUA
Carrot!
They embrace for a few beats, until:
PRINCESS ANGUA
We have to get out of here... she's right behind me... my parents...
CARROT
I expect Threepio is taking care of them.
Angua realises the significance of this deceptively innocent statement.
PRINCESS ANGUA
Carrot... there's something you need to know about me...
CARROT
Whatever it is, it doesn't matter.
PRINCESS ANGUA
Carrot... listen to me... My parents and I... we're--
Carrot looks up sharply, sensing danger. He shoves the Princess behind him just as she looks back.
CARROT'S POV
as he peers into the darkness, penetrating the shadows to reveal...
EVIL ANGUA,
her damaged face obscured by the shadows but the red glow of her eye visible.
CARROT
What the...?
EVIL ANGUA
[mocking] What's wrong? Don't you recognise your Princess?
She steps forward, and now he sees the silver endoskeleton of her damaged face.
Carrot is rooted to the spot in shock.
CARROT
[sotto] The Empire's weapon of mass destruction...
Evil Angua throws the trident at Carrot.
PRINCESS ANGUA
NO!!
Angua dodges under Carrot's restraining arm and throws herself in the path of the trident. The three prongs plunge into her chest, midriff, and abdomen.
Carrot catches her as she falls, unable to believe what has just happened. His spirit crumbles at the sight of the apparently mortally wounded Princess.
But only temporarily.
His face contorts with anger and grief as he stares at the robotic counterfeit of Angua. He thrusts out his hand, towards Evil Angua, a wave of sheer will careens out from him, and the stair bearing her turns to powder under her feet. She falls, shrieking, into thin air.
Carrot looks down at Angua, who is still clinging to life despite her injuries. She reaches up with one hand and touches his face. He covers her hand with his. Her lips move silently, mouthing the word "werewolves."
Carrot ignites his lightsaber long enough to shear off the haft of the trident sticking out of her torso as close as he dares, then re-belts his saber, picks up the Princess, and starts running back the way he came.
INT - CARROT'S VESSEL
Threepio and Igor finish making the dogs comfortable on two [out of a total of six] flip-down bunks in the back of the ship. Artoo waits anxiously at the open door.
PONDER THREEPIO
I hope Carrot finds Her Majesty and gets back soon.
IGOR
I heard thcreaming inthide.
PONDER THREEPIO
You're not helping my nerves any.
IGOR
You don't have nerveth. You're a droid.
PONDER THREEPIO
[sharply] *Metaphorical* nerves, all right?! I'm programmed to protect the Princess and I don't even know where the devil she is!
Artoo starts beeping excitedly. Threepio and Igor look over at him.
ARTOO
[subtitle] There!
EXT - CASTLE UBERWALD
Carrot staggers under the pounding rain and his own grief as he approaches the ship, bearing Princess Angua in his arms. Threepio comes out to meet him and help him into the ship.
INT - CARROT'S SHIP
Both Carrot and the wounded Princess are soaked to the bone as Carrot kicks one of the unused bunks to flip it down. He carefully lays the Princess on it, careful not to jar the metal prongs still in her, then sinks heavily to the floor next to it, emotionally drained, as Threepio bends over the Princess.
THREEPIO'S POV
as he scans the Princess, showing her internal anatomy and where the prongs are: The lower two have missed vital organs, but the one in her chest is perilously close to her heart [which by the way is still beating].
The protocol droid looks over at Carrot [who doesn't notice], debating how to break the news to Carrot. Finally he settles on...
PONDER THREEPIO
She's alive. It'll take some doing to get these steel prongs out, though. Go with Artoo to the cockpit and get us out of here. [beat] I doubt you'll want to see this.
Carrot looks up at Threepio, who only nods encouragingly, and finally he [Carrot] stands and follows Artoo to the cockpit, leaving Igor and Threepio with their patients. After a few beats, Threepio turns to the camera.
PONDER THREEPIO
[to camera] You might want to go do something else, too. This isn't a Tom Savini movie.
*****
End Part 11.
*****
INT - CASTLE UBERWALD
Angua and Evil Angua are locked in combat, exchanging blows almost too fast for the eye to follow. The style appears to be a combination of several styles, including Kung Fu and Jujitsu.
Angua's hands, we may notice, are still protected by the iron gauntlets, but it seems that whomever programmed Evil Angua put a lot of research into it; though the combat wavers back and forth in the favor of one or the other, they are evenly matched. [I wonder what else Angua learned in Princess School...]
However, Angua is beginning to tire, and she falls back a step, then another, to avoid the relentless rain of blows from the tireless droid. Already her clothing is torn [tastefully - this is still only PG-13!] and she has a few angry-looking cuts on her exposed skin.
Angua spots an opening in the droid's defense and seizes it, filling it with a feint with one gauntleted fist towards the droid's head. Evil Angua grabs it easily - leaving herself unguarded for the left hook to the exposed machinery of her face. The cybereye sparks as the armoured fist connects with it, and the droid staggers, some of her servos whirring audibly.
Angua runs, heading upstairs.
Evil Angua straightens up, her footing slightly less certain than it was before. The red glow in her cybereye blinks erratically as she heads back towards the stairwell.
EXT - CASTLE UBERWALD
In the midst of the still-raging storm, the small vessel slowly eases towards the landing platform jutting out from the castle. Artoo is already there, a small satellite dish oscillating at the top of his dome. After a few bumps and bounces [though by no means as bad as it was in Lancre], the ship finally lands and powers down. As the gull-wing door opens, Igor shambles out of the nearby gothic archway, apparently immune to the driving rain but understandably apprehensive of the lightning.
Carrot stops short as he sees the deformed servant, unsure how to proceed.
CARROT
Threepio?
Threepio pokes his head out of the ship and sees Igor
PONDER THREEPIO
Oh. Good evening, Igor.
IGOR
[anxious] Good evening, Threepio thir... the Printheth ith in trouble--
CARROT
[urgent] Where is she?
IGOR
Thee's inthide...
[Carrot leaps from the ship and barrels past Igor into the castle]
... fighting with thomething really bad.
[beat]
[to Threepio] Doeth he know?
PONDER THREEPIO
I don't think so, not yet. I doubt she's told him, anyway. Where are her parents? We have to get them to safety.
IGOR
They're in the lab. They were hurt bad.
PONDER THREEPIO
Show me.
IGOR
Walk thith way.
He shambles away through the archway. Threepio hesitates, then:
PONDER THREEPIO
[aside] No. That joke's been done to death.
He walks normally after Igor.
CARROT
races desperately through the eternally spooky and cobwebbed corridors of the castle.
CARROT
[shouting] Angua?! [sotto] Please be okay... please be okay... [shouting] ANGUA!
ANGUA
is pounding her way up a darkened spiral staircase, her breath ragged with fatigue. Her silver- inflicted cuts are bleeding badly, and it seems that she's staying on her feet by force of will alone.
CARROT [o.s.]
[distant] Anguaaa!
PRINCESS ANGUA
[sotto] Carrot...
She looks like a shipwreck victim who is out of food but has just spotted land in the distance.
THE LABORATORY
Igor and Threepio respectively shamble and walk over to a series of tables, two of which bear large wolfhounds, of a similar sort to "Princess." Any one of them would be taller than Carrot on its hind legs. The dogs are unconscious or sedated, with a number of bandaged wounds each, and their breathing is laboured.
Threepio approaches one of them, and it opens its eyes groggily and whines.
PONDER THREEPIO
Not to worry, Your Highness... we're going to get you to safety.
[the dog growls]
I don't know where she is just yet. A friend has gone to look for her. Just try to relax. [to Igor] I trust it's safe to move them?
Igor, deceptively strong, already has the other dog over his domed shoulders.
IGOR
No broken ribth. I thplinted any other breakth. Mostht of it ith thilver damage. Jutht be careful.
Threepio gently takes the other dog in his arms, cradling its head on his metallic shoulder, and he and Igor take their precious burdens back out of the lab.
ANGUA
reaches a landing and pauses for breath.
EVIL ANGUA [o.s.]
Come out, come out, wherever you are...
Angua looks back down the stairs, and sees...
EVIL ANGUA
standing two bends down, brandishing the steel trident. The glow from her cyber-eye is still erratic, and flickers weakly.
PRINCESS ANGUA
[breathless] No...
She continues desperately up the stairs, towards the laboratory.
Evil Angua follows predatorily.
CARROT,
still searching for Angua, hurries down a corridor just in time to intercept Angua as she staggers out of the dark archway and practically falls into his arms. She fights his grasp briefly, then...
PRINCESS ANGUA
Carrot!
They embrace for a few beats, until:
PRINCESS ANGUA
We have to get out of here... she's right behind me... my parents...
CARROT
I expect Threepio is taking care of them.
Angua realises the significance of this deceptively innocent statement.
PRINCESS ANGUA
Carrot... there's something you need to know about me...
CARROT
Whatever it is, it doesn't matter.
PRINCESS ANGUA
Carrot... listen to me... My parents and I... we're--
Carrot looks up sharply, sensing danger. He shoves the Princess behind him just as she looks back.
CARROT'S POV
as he peers into the darkness, penetrating the shadows to reveal...
EVIL ANGUA,
her damaged face obscured by the shadows but the red glow of her eye visible.
CARROT
What the...?
EVIL ANGUA
[mocking] What's wrong? Don't you recognise your Princess?
She steps forward, and now he sees the silver endoskeleton of her damaged face.
Carrot is rooted to the spot in shock.
CARROT
[sotto] The Empire's weapon of mass destruction...
Evil Angua throws the trident at Carrot.
PRINCESS ANGUA
NO!!
Angua dodges under Carrot's restraining arm and throws herself in the path of the trident. The three prongs plunge into her chest, midriff, and abdomen.
Carrot catches her as she falls, unable to believe what has just happened. His spirit crumbles at the sight of the apparently mortally wounded Princess.
But only temporarily.
His face contorts with anger and grief as he stares at the robotic counterfeit of Angua. He thrusts out his hand, towards Evil Angua, a wave of sheer will careens out from him, and the stair bearing her turns to powder under her feet. She falls, shrieking, into thin air.
Carrot looks down at Angua, who is still clinging to life despite her injuries. She reaches up with one hand and touches his face. He covers her hand with his. Her lips move silently, mouthing the word "werewolves."
Carrot ignites his lightsaber long enough to shear off the haft of the trident sticking out of her torso as close as he dares, then re-belts his saber, picks up the Princess, and starts running back the way he came.
INT - CARROT'S VESSEL
Threepio and Igor finish making the dogs comfortable on two [out of a total of six] flip-down bunks in the back of the ship. Artoo waits anxiously at the open door.
PONDER THREEPIO
I hope Carrot finds Her Majesty and gets back soon.
IGOR
I heard thcreaming inthide.
PONDER THREEPIO
You're not helping my nerves any.
IGOR
You don't have nerveth. You're a droid.
PONDER THREEPIO
[sharply] *Metaphorical* nerves, all right?! I'm programmed to protect the Princess and I don't even know where the devil she is!
Artoo starts beeping excitedly. Threepio and Igor look over at him.
ARTOO
[subtitle] There!
EXT - CASTLE UBERWALD
Carrot staggers under the pounding rain and his own grief as he approaches the ship, bearing Princess Angua in his arms. Threepio comes out to meet him and help him into the ship.
INT - CARROT'S SHIP
Both Carrot and the wounded Princess are soaked to the bone as Carrot kicks one of the unused bunks to flip it down. He carefully lays the Princess on it, careful not to jar the metal prongs still in her, then sinks heavily to the floor next to it, emotionally drained, as Threepio bends over the Princess.
THREEPIO'S POV
as he scans the Princess, showing her internal anatomy and where the prongs are: The lower two have missed vital organs, but the one in her chest is perilously close to her heart [which by the way is still beating].
The protocol droid looks over at Carrot [who doesn't notice], debating how to break the news to Carrot. Finally he settles on...
PONDER THREEPIO
She's alive. It'll take some doing to get these steel prongs out, though. Go with Artoo to the cockpit and get us out of here. [beat] I doubt you'll want to see this.
Carrot looks up at Threepio, who only nods encouragingly, and finally he [Carrot] stands and follows Artoo to the cockpit, leaving Igor and Threepio with their patients. After a few beats, Threepio turns to the camera.
PONDER THREEPIO
[to camera] You might want to go do something else, too. This isn't a Tom Savini movie.
*****
End Part 11.