Disclaimer: See Part 1
*****
INT - CARROT'S SHIP
Carrot mans the controls grimly. His eyes are red, either from weeping or from lack of sleep, but in any case his unshaven jaw is set with the sort of determination that would cause most mortals to make a point of staying out of his way. As it is, even Artoo sits as discreetly as he can at the far side of the cockpit. Carrot punches a few buttons, setting a course for FourEcks.
In the back, Threepio and Igor regard the Princess grimly [their backs are to us and they block our view of her torso so that all we see are her head and her legs, the latter covered by a red- stained blanket]. Although the three prongs that had been in her are now in Igor's hand, she does not appear to have survived their removal. Igor himself is red to the elbows.
IGOR
[quietly] I'm thorry. I did my betht. It'th jutht fortunate the trident wath thteel inthtead of thilver.
PONDER THREEPIO
Then there's a chance we can still save her. It's still the last night of the full moon.
The protocol droid looks around the cabin and finally finds what he's looking for: a small switch marked "Moon Roof". He flips the switch, and the moon roof slides open with a soft hiss. Silvery moonlight streams in through the plexiglas panel in the roof and spreads over the cabin's occupants like a dropped scarf. Angua begins to change.
Her face lengthens into a muzzle, and her ears change, becoming pointed. Through her open mouth we see fangs growing as golden-brown fur grows on her face.
On her stomach and midriff, the trident wounds grow shut in the space of a few seconds as the pelt [already past her chest] continues to spread and her musculature shifts in weird and slightly nauseating ways.
Her nails grow long and hooked as her hands become forepaws.
Even the shape under the blanket shifts oddly as her legs change, and a bushy tail pokes out from under the blanket.
Princess Angua von Uberwald has become the Ramtops wolfhound we know as "Princess." [yeah, yeah, I know nobody's all that surprised...] There is definitely a common hereditary thread connecting wolf-Angua to the other wolfhounds in the cabin. She inhales deeply, her jaws wide open as she gulps in the precious air. She opens her eyes and glances at Threepio and Igor, seems to smile in thanks, then turns onto her side and drifts into true sleep.
Igor and Threepio look on with the satisfaction of a job well done.
IGOR
We did it. [to Threepio] Mathter Carrot will be ecthtatic.
Threepio regards wolf-Angua.
PONDER THREEPIO
Not if he finds out the object of his affection has just turned into a very large wolf.
IGOR
He doethn't know?
PONDER THREEPIO
I don't think so. [beat] I think he's had enough emotional trauma for today.
[he shuts the moon roof and covers Angua with the blanket as she starts to shift back]
You stay with the royal family. I'm going to check on him.
Threepio heads into the cockpit. Carrot takes no notice. Threepio looks at him with some concern.
ARTOO
[subtitle: He's been like this since we left. Any word on the Princess?]
PONDER THREEPIO
[Uberwaldian. Subtitle: We had to give her a Moonlight Special.]
ARTOO
[subtitle: Ohhh.]
PONDER THREEPIO
[Uberwaldian. Subtitle: She's resting right now. It'll be a bit before she's up to visitors.]
ARTOO
[subtitle: For that matter, it'll be a while before her visitor will be ready to see her.]
PONDER THREEPIO
[Uberwaldian. Subtitle: You have a point there. Just keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.]
ARTOO
[subtitle: Does setting a course for FourEcks count as "anything stupid"?]
Threepio considers this.
PONDER THREEPIO
[Uberwaldian. Subtitle: That all depends on whether or not he can hold his alcohol.]
Artoo considers this.
ARTOO
[subtitle: Call me paranoid, but I *really* don't think it would be a good idea for him to get drunk right now. Just my two credits' worth.]
Threepio looks uneasy.
PONDER THREEPIO
[Uberwaldian. Subtitle: Actually, I smell a climactic battle in the near future.]
INT - CASANUNDA'S PALACE - DUNGEON
Inside the cell, Rincewind looks like he's getting a headache.
RINCEWIND
All right... ALL RIGHT! One more round, but that's IT! [he looks blearily at the gesticulating mime] Okay... It's a book title... Four words. Fourth word... whirlwind. Dancing? Pointing? Stabbing? Hat? Wizzard? Something like wizzard. Mage? Spell? Incantation? Magic? Magic, okay. Something something something Magic. First word, something small. It? Be? To? The? The. The something something Magic.
LADY SYBIL
They're really very good at this, aren't they?
RINCEWIND
We've been playing charades for four hours, Sybil.
LADY SYBIL
Only because the mimes outnumber us seven to two.
The mime gestures at Rincewind.
RINCEWIND
*Yes*, I'm still playing! I haven't given up. Second word. Two syllables.
[the mime gestures at Rincewind's clothing.]
Tattered? Spangle? Scarlet? Something like scarlet. Crimson? Broader than that? Rainbow? No? Colour? The Colour something Magic.
Just then, Ferdy perks up his ear frills.
LADY SYBIL
Hush up, all of you... Ferdy hears something. What is it, boy?
In the distance, they hear the sound of dwarvish boots approaching.
Out in the hall, Casanunda leads a small troop of well-armed dwarves through the dungeon. He stops at the cell containing the first wave of Our Intrepid Heroes - Vimes and the Rebels - and unlocks the door.
CASANUNDA
[hushed] Come on, all of you. We haven't much time.
Immediately Chewbacca surges forward and pins the dwarf to the opposite wall by his throat. They are very nearly the same height, but Chewie has twice the reach and bigger fangs, which he is now baring. The other dwarves now have their weapons trained on the ape.
CASANUNDA
[strangled] I'm trying to rescue you, you big hairball!
VIMES
Why in the hell should we trust you? You sold us out to the Empire!
CASANUNDA
[strangled] Let me explain, willya?
COLON
Oh, we remember all right... you had no choice.
NOBBY
Shall I kick him in the rocks, sir?
VIMES
Holds that thought, Corporal. [to Casanunda] So, talk. I don't know how long Chewie can restrain himself.
Chewie grins menacingly.
CASANUNDA
[strangled] Listen to me... I swear I didn't know you were coming until the Empire rang my doorbell. They tell me, You've got guests coming, and those guests are on our hit-list. They tell me, All you have to do is hand them over to us, and nobody gets hurt, and you get a small finder's fee. I say, How much of a fee? They show me how much - they had it right there, pure gold! Yes, I took the gold. I was planning to screw them over anyway, get you and your mates out of here before anything happened, but I didn't count on Jabba sending someone along for Ridcully.
VIMES
And we should believe this... why?
CASANUNDA
Ridcully's the closest thing to a dwarf I've ever seen taller than four feet. We've known each other for forty years. You don't bugger around with that kinda friendship. I know where they're taking Ridcully - someplace in Genua. If you want to rescue him, you need my help.
Vimes deliberates on this for a few seconds. Then:
VIMES
Let him go.
[Chewie protests.]
Now!
The ape sulkily releases Casanunda, who fastidiously smooths his cravat.
CASANUNDA
The first thing we need to do is get to the Falcon. Then--
RINCEWIND [within]
Um... hello?
VIMES
[sotto] Oh no, not him again...
CASANUNDA
You know who he is?
VIMES
We've met.
CASANUNDA
You want me to rescue him as well?
LADY SYBIL [within]
You damned well *better* rescue him, after all the trouble we went through getting here!
Vimes' jaw drops.
VIMES
Sybil?!
He goes to the cell door like a shot [vaulting over Nobby in his haste] and peers in through the barred window.
VIMES
I... I thought you were on the civilian transport, with your dragons... If I'd known...
LADY SYBIL
It's not your fault, dear... we both know that Vetinari can be a real dickweed.
VIMES
But... how did you get here?
LADY SYBIL
Rincewind rescued me and some mimes from a scorpion pit.
[she claps the Jedi in question on the back hard enough to knock him to the ground]
And he found Ferdy for me. He was really very brave.
Vimes looks at his wife with an "I'll believe *that* when I see it" expression.
VIMES
Casanunda.
CASANUNDA
Yes?
VIMES
Open this door. Now.
CASANUNDA
[slightly mocking] Yes, Your Tallness.
He opens the cell door, and gets knocked aside as Sybil rushes out. She and Vimes embrace and kiss, though he winces and draws back reflexively as she touches the bruise on his jaw.
LADY SYBIL
Oh, Sammy... you're hurt.
VIMES
It'll heal. [to Casanunda] You said you and your, er, men would help us get out of here?
CASANUNDA
[to the dwarves] Everyone who does not want to kick the Empire's ass, spit in its eye, and piss on its shoes, leave now.
Nobody makes any such movement.
CASANUNDA [contd.]
Good. [to the Rebels] Follow us. And no monkey bus- Sorry Chewie. Slip of the tongue there.
Chewbacca scowls.
*****
End Part 13.
*****
INT - CARROT'S SHIP
Carrot mans the controls grimly. His eyes are red, either from weeping or from lack of sleep, but in any case his unshaven jaw is set with the sort of determination that would cause most mortals to make a point of staying out of his way. As it is, even Artoo sits as discreetly as he can at the far side of the cockpit. Carrot punches a few buttons, setting a course for FourEcks.
In the back, Threepio and Igor regard the Princess grimly [their backs are to us and they block our view of her torso so that all we see are her head and her legs, the latter covered by a red- stained blanket]. Although the three prongs that had been in her are now in Igor's hand, she does not appear to have survived their removal. Igor himself is red to the elbows.
IGOR
[quietly] I'm thorry. I did my betht. It'th jutht fortunate the trident wath thteel inthtead of thilver.
PONDER THREEPIO
Then there's a chance we can still save her. It's still the last night of the full moon.
The protocol droid looks around the cabin and finally finds what he's looking for: a small switch marked "Moon Roof". He flips the switch, and the moon roof slides open with a soft hiss. Silvery moonlight streams in through the plexiglas panel in the roof and spreads over the cabin's occupants like a dropped scarf. Angua begins to change.
Her face lengthens into a muzzle, and her ears change, becoming pointed. Through her open mouth we see fangs growing as golden-brown fur grows on her face.
On her stomach and midriff, the trident wounds grow shut in the space of a few seconds as the pelt [already past her chest] continues to spread and her musculature shifts in weird and slightly nauseating ways.
Her nails grow long and hooked as her hands become forepaws.
Even the shape under the blanket shifts oddly as her legs change, and a bushy tail pokes out from under the blanket.
Princess Angua von Uberwald has become the Ramtops wolfhound we know as "Princess." [yeah, yeah, I know nobody's all that surprised...] There is definitely a common hereditary thread connecting wolf-Angua to the other wolfhounds in the cabin. She inhales deeply, her jaws wide open as she gulps in the precious air. She opens her eyes and glances at Threepio and Igor, seems to smile in thanks, then turns onto her side and drifts into true sleep.
Igor and Threepio look on with the satisfaction of a job well done.
IGOR
We did it. [to Threepio] Mathter Carrot will be ecthtatic.
Threepio regards wolf-Angua.
PONDER THREEPIO
Not if he finds out the object of his affection has just turned into a very large wolf.
IGOR
He doethn't know?
PONDER THREEPIO
I don't think so. [beat] I think he's had enough emotional trauma for today.
[he shuts the moon roof and covers Angua with the blanket as she starts to shift back]
You stay with the royal family. I'm going to check on him.
Threepio heads into the cockpit. Carrot takes no notice. Threepio looks at him with some concern.
ARTOO
[subtitle: He's been like this since we left. Any word on the Princess?]
PONDER THREEPIO
[Uberwaldian. Subtitle: We had to give her a Moonlight Special.]
ARTOO
[subtitle: Ohhh.]
PONDER THREEPIO
[Uberwaldian. Subtitle: She's resting right now. It'll be a bit before she's up to visitors.]
ARTOO
[subtitle: For that matter, it'll be a while before her visitor will be ready to see her.]
PONDER THREEPIO
[Uberwaldian. Subtitle: You have a point there. Just keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.]
ARTOO
[subtitle: Does setting a course for FourEcks count as "anything stupid"?]
Threepio considers this.
PONDER THREEPIO
[Uberwaldian. Subtitle: That all depends on whether or not he can hold his alcohol.]
Artoo considers this.
ARTOO
[subtitle: Call me paranoid, but I *really* don't think it would be a good idea for him to get drunk right now. Just my two credits' worth.]
Threepio looks uneasy.
PONDER THREEPIO
[Uberwaldian. Subtitle: Actually, I smell a climactic battle in the near future.]
INT - CASANUNDA'S PALACE - DUNGEON
Inside the cell, Rincewind looks like he's getting a headache.
RINCEWIND
All right... ALL RIGHT! One more round, but that's IT! [he looks blearily at the gesticulating mime] Okay... It's a book title... Four words. Fourth word... whirlwind. Dancing? Pointing? Stabbing? Hat? Wizzard? Something like wizzard. Mage? Spell? Incantation? Magic? Magic, okay. Something something something Magic. First word, something small. It? Be? To? The? The. The something something Magic.
LADY SYBIL
They're really very good at this, aren't they?
RINCEWIND
We've been playing charades for four hours, Sybil.
LADY SYBIL
Only because the mimes outnumber us seven to two.
The mime gestures at Rincewind.
RINCEWIND
*Yes*, I'm still playing! I haven't given up. Second word. Two syllables.
[the mime gestures at Rincewind's clothing.]
Tattered? Spangle? Scarlet? Something like scarlet. Crimson? Broader than that? Rainbow? No? Colour? The Colour something Magic.
Just then, Ferdy perks up his ear frills.
LADY SYBIL
Hush up, all of you... Ferdy hears something. What is it, boy?
In the distance, they hear the sound of dwarvish boots approaching.
Out in the hall, Casanunda leads a small troop of well-armed dwarves through the dungeon. He stops at the cell containing the first wave of Our Intrepid Heroes - Vimes and the Rebels - and unlocks the door.
CASANUNDA
[hushed] Come on, all of you. We haven't much time.
Immediately Chewbacca surges forward and pins the dwarf to the opposite wall by his throat. They are very nearly the same height, but Chewie has twice the reach and bigger fangs, which he is now baring. The other dwarves now have their weapons trained on the ape.
CASANUNDA
[strangled] I'm trying to rescue you, you big hairball!
VIMES
Why in the hell should we trust you? You sold us out to the Empire!
CASANUNDA
[strangled] Let me explain, willya?
COLON
Oh, we remember all right... you had no choice.
NOBBY
Shall I kick him in the rocks, sir?
VIMES
Holds that thought, Corporal. [to Casanunda] So, talk. I don't know how long Chewie can restrain himself.
Chewie grins menacingly.
CASANUNDA
[strangled] Listen to me... I swear I didn't know you were coming until the Empire rang my doorbell. They tell me, You've got guests coming, and those guests are on our hit-list. They tell me, All you have to do is hand them over to us, and nobody gets hurt, and you get a small finder's fee. I say, How much of a fee? They show me how much - they had it right there, pure gold! Yes, I took the gold. I was planning to screw them over anyway, get you and your mates out of here before anything happened, but I didn't count on Jabba sending someone along for Ridcully.
VIMES
And we should believe this... why?
CASANUNDA
Ridcully's the closest thing to a dwarf I've ever seen taller than four feet. We've known each other for forty years. You don't bugger around with that kinda friendship. I know where they're taking Ridcully - someplace in Genua. If you want to rescue him, you need my help.
Vimes deliberates on this for a few seconds. Then:
VIMES
Let him go.
[Chewie protests.]
Now!
The ape sulkily releases Casanunda, who fastidiously smooths his cravat.
CASANUNDA
The first thing we need to do is get to the Falcon. Then--
RINCEWIND [within]
Um... hello?
VIMES
[sotto] Oh no, not him again...
CASANUNDA
You know who he is?
VIMES
We've met.
CASANUNDA
You want me to rescue him as well?
LADY SYBIL [within]
You damned well *better* rescue him, after all the trouble we went through getting here!
Vimes' jaw drops.
VIMES
Sybil?!
He goes to the cell door like a shot [vaulting over Nobby in his haste] and peers in through the barred window.
VIMES
I... I thought you were on the civilian transport, with your dragons... If I'd known...
LADY SYBIL
It's not your fault, dear... we both know that Vetinari can be a real dickweed.
VIMES
But... how did you get here?
LADY SYBIL
Rincewind rescued me and some mimes from a scorpion pit.
[she claps the Jedi in question on the back hard enough to knock him to the ground]
And he found Ferdy for me. He was really very brave.
Vimes looks at his wife with an "I'll believe *that* when I see it" expression.
VIMES
Casanunda.
CASANUNDA
Yes?
VIMES
Open this door. Now.
CASANUNDA
[slightly mocking] Yes, Your Tallness.
He opens the cell door, and gets knocked aside as Sybil rushes out. She and Vimes embrace and kiss, though he winces and draws back reflexively as she touches the bruise on his jaw.
LADY SYBIL
Oh, Sammy... you're hurt.
VIMES
It'll heal. [to Casanunda] You said you and your, er, men would help us get out of here?
CASANUNDA
[to the dwarves] Everyone who does not want to kick the Empire's ass, spit in its eye, and piss on its shoes, leave now.
Nobody makes any such movement.
CASANUNDA [contd.]
Good. [to the Rebels] Follow us. And no monkey bus- Sorry Chewie. Slip of the tongue there.
Chewbacca scowls.
*****
End Part 13.