Disclaimer: See Part 1.
*****
ELSEWHERE...
Our Intrepid Heroes have reached the main entrance hall.
CASANUNDA
You see, we are here already. I told you escaping would be easy.
Uneasy pause, then:
ALL BUT THE MIMES
... Too easy.
In more of a tight cluster than any sort of formation, the Rebels make their way cautiously towards the main door, which we now see is Way The Hell Down There, at the opposite end of the cavernous foyer. Their footsteps are muffled by the thick shag carpeting, and the resulting silence is palpable. In fact, the only real purpose it appears to have is to make Ferdy's nervous gurgling all the more apparent.
VIMES
Watch where you point that dragon, Rincewind. I don't want you setting anyone's arse on fire.
Rincewind looks down at the little dragon under his arm, and it appears to be a toss-up as to who dreads an explosion of dragon gas more.
LADY SYBIL
He's just scared, Sam. We all are.
RINCEWIND
Of course I'm scared. This will be the part where there's two hundred storm troopers hiding behind the wall hangings or something.
Everyone looks at the tapestries, which hang exactly as if there were not two hundred storm troopers behind them. After a tense pause, they continue on.
CASANUNDA
Bah. I shouldn't be skulking around like this, not in my own palace. [to the dwarves] Come on, lads. Let us forge ahead like the warriors we are!
RANDOM DWARF
[sotto] Just as soon as you wash off that blasted perfume...
CASANUNDA
Who was that?! I heard that remark, now who was it?!
He forges behind into the crowd of dwarves, and a brief scuffle ensues. Ferdy chirps in alarm [as he and Rincewind are distressingly close to the scuffle] and gurgles louder. Rincewind realises that he is now holding a small leathery bomb. He looks helplessly to Sybil.
LADY SYBIL
Quickly, get him outside before he discharges!
Rincewind nods in understanding, tucks Ferdy under his arm, and blurs towards the main door like a quarterback, slamming through the thick door and pointing Ferdy away from the Palace just before the little dragon belches, emitting a ball of bluish flame which rolls out towards the two ships.
Threepio stops short on the ladder from Carrot's vessel, moments before he was to help Angua [now clothed in a simple outfit of shirt, trousers, and boots] down from the ship. We see the fireball reflected in his spectacles as he shoves the Princess back to safety inside the ship, a bare instant before the fiery dragon-burp rolls past.
INT - CARROT'S VESSEL
Angua peers out of the door, wrinkling her nose at the smell of burning methane.
PRINCESS ANGUA
Threepio?
Threepio is a bit singed and rather tarnished, but otherwise undamaged. The lenses in his spectacles are cracked, though. After a brief diagnostic:
PONDER THREEPIO
I'm okay... but WHO THE HELL SET OFF A FLAMETHROWER OUT HERE?!
Rincewind, his robes smoking slightly and Ferdy still under his arm and now looking a bit apologetic, looks helplessly at the protocol droid.
RINCEWIND
Um... oops?
Angua pokes her head out of the ship and looks around briefly before she finds who Threepio is talking to, then she heads down the ladder past Threepio.
PRINCESS ANGUA
Rincewind? How did you get here?
RINCEWIND
It's a really long story. The others are still inside.
PRINCESS ANGUA
Did you see Carrot anywhere?
RINCEWIND
No. And he's kind of hard to miss, isn't he?
Just then, Our Intrepid Heroes and the dwarves head out to investigate all the noise.
VIMES
Gods, what's that smell?
RINCEWIND
That's, er, me. [glances at Ferdy] Mainly.
LADY SYBIL
Well, no wonder... poor thing must've been frightened half to death, it's a wonder he didn't explode.
RINCEWIND
He didn't *what*?!
He nearly drops the dragon, thinks better of it, and finally just holds Ferdy at arm's length.
Casanunda shoulders past him and makes a beeline for the Princess, primping and trying to make his slightly tattered self presentable as he goes.
CASANUNDA
And whom do I have the very great privilege of addressing?
PRINCESS ANGUA
Princess Angua von Uberwald.
CASANUNDA
And I expect all Uberwaldians are every bit as lovely as you are.
She looks as though he had just informed her that he'd lost his phone number and could he borrow hers.
VIMES
He's a friend of Ridcully's.
PRINCESS ANGUA
That figures. Speaking of which--
VIMES
That's where it gets complicated. We don't have time to explain - the Empire's here, and we have to leave. Now. [to Chewbacca, motioning to the Falcon] I assume you know how to fly this thing?
Chewie salutes and knuckles his way up the boarding ramp, but stops short when he sees the King and Queen of Uberwald [dressed in common clothes but wearing them like finery] already aboard.
PONDER THREEPIO
[quickly] They're with us, Chewbacca.
VIMES
[to Casanunda] I don't know if all those dwarves will fit.
CASANUNDA
We have ships of our own... and business to conclude here. We'll meet up with you later in Genua. [to Angua] It seems that the stars were not quite in our favour this day, mon chere... but we shall meet again!
He turns, runs back towards his captured palace, and busts the heel off one of his boots halfway there. This does not do kind things to one's balance while running, and he curses floridly in dwarvish as he picks himself up off the tarmac. He now has a run in his stockings.
Threepio winces [he would blush if he were capable] and hustles the Rebels into the Falcon.
INT - CASANUNDA'S PALACE
Carrot backs slowly away from Darth Vetinari, as Vetinari attempts to advance menacingly on him at roughly the same pace.
DARTH VETINARI
You came all this way to see me... how thoughtful of you. I get visitors so seldom. And it just so happens, you Carrot, that I have a business proposal for you.
CARROT
A... what?
DARTH VETINARI
Oh, I know you had other plans for this meeting. Killing me, for one.
CARROT
How did you--?
DARTH VETINARI
One of the pleasures of using the Force. I can read your thoughts, as easily as if you were voicing them to me right now. They betray you... Your lady-love, for example. The Princess was quite a tart, wasn't she?
Carrot grinds his teeth with the effort of resisting Vetinari's taunts.
DARTH VETINARI
No matter that she was a key member in an illegal Rebellion against the government. But before you profess your undying love to her, perhaps you should examine the merchandise more closely. Caveat Emptor, I always say. But back to that business proposal...
CARROT
I won't join forces with you, Vetinari.
DARTH VETINARI
[condescending] Oh, how clever. Reading ahead in the script like that. So. You won't join forces with me?
CARROT
Never.
DARTH VETINARI
Is that your final answer? If it is, you realise I'll have to kill you. Nothing against you, of course, you seem like a bright young man with a lot of potential for serving the forces of darkness.
CARROT
Um... one question.
DARTH VETINARI
[impatient] What?
CARROT
Are you my real father?
There is a startled beat of incredulity.
DARTH VETINARI
No! What kind of question is that?!
CARROT
Just asking.
DARTH VETINARI
Gods, what sort of messed-up space opera do you think this is?
CARROT
You never know. By the way, you wanted my final answer?
DARTH VETINARI
[carefully] Ye-es...
Carrot leaps suddenly, and as time slows, two things become clear. The first is that he is leaping backwards, away from Vetinari. The second is that he is leaping towards the end of one of the grates that make up the floor. At the other end of this grate stands Vetinari, who looks warily confused until an instant before Carrot lands, pistoning down hard with both feet. This sends Carrot's end sharply downward and Vetinari's end just as sharply upward like a catapult, and sends Vetinari himself flying upwards into the pipes and tubes which meander all over the ceiling. As he attempts to disentangle himself from the rats-nest of tubes:
DARTH VETINARI
All right! Now I am really getting annoyed!
He ignites his lightsaber and shears through the tubes, landing tidily with the grace of a cat. He looks around for Carrot, who is nowhere to be seen.
... unless, of course, you look at the far side of a support column, against which Carrot has his back.
After a few moments of probing, Vetinari zeroes in on the column and advances, his saber ready to kill Carrot a lot.
He swings at the column just as Carrot rolls away on the other side. The saber bites into the column before Vetinari can check his swing.
Carrot rolls to his feet and ignites his saber.
Vetinari turns to face him, then strikes at the young Jedi.
Their lightsabers crash together again and again, with a sound like a Van de Graaf generator falling down the stairs in slow motion. The two adversaries, it is clear, use very different styles - Vetinari the measured style of a swordsman, Carrot the brute force techniques of a really big dwarf. It balances, more or less. As the sabers lock together:
DARTH VETINARI
Do you really think you can defeat the Empire? You're practically a boy. You know nothing of how the world works.
CARROT
There's nothing you could teach me.
Carrot shoves him away, sending the Dark Lord sprawling against a pillar. Vetinari dodges away moments before he would have been beheaded; the pillar itself is rather neatly bisected.
DARTH VETINARI
That's good... let your anger rule you. Already you're becoming a disciple of the dark side, whether you want to or not.
Carrot hesitates at this, and Vetinari seizes an opening and charges, his lightsaber raised. Carrot barely counters and is driven back by Vetinari's ferocious attacks, first one step, then a dozen.
After several heartstopping rounds of this, Carrot's back is against a wall, and the lightsabers lock together. Vetinari cannot overpower Carrot with strength alone, and they both know this.
DARTH VETINARI
Oh, one more thing, Carrot... About Princess Angua, I just though you'd like to know what she was before you died. [he's really going to enjoy this] Princess Angua von Uberwald was a lycanthrope!
There is a beat of expectant silence.
CARROT
[politely] Yes?
This is clearly not the response Vetinari anticipated.
DARTH VETINARI
I beg your pardon? I just told you that your girlfriend was a lycanthrope!
CARROT
And I think she's the nicest lycanthrope I ever met. I expect her parents are the same way?
DARTH VETINARI
Ye-es... ["What the hell is going on here?"]
CARROT
I appreciate you wanting me to know, all the same.
Then, with a flick of Carrot's wrist, Vetinari's saber flies from his hand, and with a flick of considerably more of Carrot's other arm, the young Jedi punches the Sith Lord in the mouth hard enough to send him flying several feet.
As Vetinari lays there, stunned, Carrot approaches the Dark Lord, preparing to rid the people of the Disc of this menace, once and for all.
If only it were that easy.
As Carrot gets close to Vetinari, the Sith suddenly explodes into motion, whipping a stiletto dagger from a boot sheath and driving it into the meat of Carrot's calf. Carrot howls and clutches at his leg, almost falling.
Vetinari backpedals and scrambles to his feet, spitting out a mouthful of blood as he makes his escape.
Carrot pulls the dagger from his leg. It is covered in something sticky that doesn't look fit for human consumption. He looks after Vetinari, wanting to pursue him, but his leg is going numb even now. With one hand clamped on his wounded leg, he deactivates his lightsaber and staggers heavily towards an archway, through which can be seen a flight of stairs leading up, and a helpful sign indicating that they lead to "ROOF ACCESS."
He makes it to the stairs just as his leg buckles. As he leans on the bannister, he reaches down and activates the transponder. He pauses to catch his breath, sweat pouring down his face; the poison is spreading.
Distantly, he hears dwarvish voices approaching, and looks up.
CARROT
Gr'tuzk'a!
[subtitle: Hello!]
CASANUNDA [o.s.]
Oy there! There's a dwarf in here!
DWARF #1 [o.s.]
He isn't one of ours. The accent's wrong.
Casanunda approaches from the corridor, followed by several of the Ecksian dwarves.
CASANUNDA
Hullo. When did he get here? Hey you, did you see a dwarf in here?
Carrot looks at him.
CARROT
[dwarvish. Subtitle: My name is Carrot Skywalker... son of Owen Skywalker son of Balin Skywalker... of the clan Skywalker of the Hubward Ramtop Mountains...]
DWARF #2
Crikey. Bloody big dwarves they get in the mountains.
CASANUNDA
Well, no time for a full family history.
CARROT
[weakening] I need to get to the roof... Millennium Falcon...
CASANUNDA
[to the other dwarves] Must be with the Rebels. Well, if he needs to get to the roof - don't know why he would - let's get him to the roof! The poor kid can barely walk!
Carrot manages a weak smile of gratitude as the dwarves band together and, with the deceptive strength of their species, partially support but mostly carry Carrot up the stairs.
INT - MILLENNIUM FALCON
Chewie sits at the controls, steering the Falcon out of FourEcks.
Threepio, in the main cabin, is making sure that the royal family is comfortable. He approaches Angua, who seems preoccupied by Carrot's absence. The protocol droid rests a comforting metal hand on her shoulder, and she looks up at him.
PONDER THREEPIO
[to Angua] Try not to worry, Your Majesty. I'm sure Carrot will come through.
Angua offers him a wan "thanks-for-trying-to-help" smile.
Just then, Threepio perks up as he starts to receive the transponder signal.
PONDER THREEPIO
[to Igor and Artoo] Stay with them. [as he heads towards the cockpit] Turn around! Turn the ship around! We have to go back!
Chewie half-turns, wondering what the hell is wrong with Threepio as the droid bursts into the cockpit.
PONDER THREEPIO
Turn this ship around! Carrot's still alive! We have to go back right now!
Chewbacca gives a "whatever you say Mr. Insane Person" shrug and hauls the controls around.
EXT - MILLENNIUM FALCON
as it executes a sharp U-turn and heads back the way it came, leaving skid-marks in midair.
INT - MILLENNIUM FALCON
Threepio watches anxiously through the windscreen as they race back to the Palace.
PONDER THREEPIO
Must go faster... must go faster... must go faster...
PRINCESS ANGUA
Threepio?
Threepio turns, his visual sensors gleaming with excitement.
PONDER THREEPIO
Carrot's still alive. [smiling slightly at his own foresight] He paged me and now we're going to get him.
Angua is so happy at this news that she hugs the startled droid, then hurries back to the cabin to share the news. Chewbacca shakes his head in disbelief, then looks alert as they approach the palace.
EXT - CASANUNDA'S PALACE - ROOF
As the Falcon approaches, the FourEcks dwarves and their cargo come into view. Casanunda and a few of the dwarves are waving their arms to flag down the Falcon.
The ship hovers as close as it can to the roof, lowering a cargo platform bearing Vimes, Angua, Threepio, and Igor, onto which the dwarves bundle Carrot. Carrot himself is ashen-faced and barely conscious. There is no time to ask any questions, however, as the Falcon takes off as soon as Carrot is secured.
*****
End Part 15.
*****
ELSEWHERE...
Our Intrepid Heroes have reached the main entrance hall.
CASANUNDA
You see, we are here already. I told you escaping would be easy.
Uneasy pause, then:
ALL BUT THE MIMES
... Too easy.
In more of a tight cluster than any sort of formation, the Rebels make their way cautiously towards the main door, which we now see is Way The Hell Down There, at the opposite end of the cavernous foyer. Their footsteps are muffled by the thick shag carpeting, and the resulting silence is palpable. In fact, the only real purpose it appears to have is to make Ferdy's nervous gurgling all the more apparent.
VIMES
Watch where you point that dragon, Rincewind. I don't want you setting anyone's arse on fire.
Rincewind looks down at the little dragon under his arm, and it appears to be a toss-up as to who dreads an explosion of dragon gas more.
LADY SYBIL
He's just scared, Sam. We all are.
RINCEWIND
Of course I'm scared. This will be the part where there's two hundred storm troopers hiding behind the wall hangings or something.
Everyone looks at the tapestries, which hang exactly as if there were not two hundred storm troopers behind them. After a tense pause, they continue on.
CASANUNDA
Bah. I shouldn't be skulking around like this, not in my own palace. [to the dwarves] Come on, lads. Let us forge ahead like the warriors we are!
RANDOM DWARF
[sotto] Just as soon as you wash off that blasted perfume...
CASANUNDA
Who was that?! I heard that remark, now who was it?!
He forges behind into the crowd of dwarves, and a brief scuffle ensues. Ferdy chirps in alarm [as he and Rincewind are distressingly close to the scuffle] and gurgles louder. Rincewind realises that he is now holding a small leathery bomb. He looks helplessly to Sybil.
LADY SYBIL
Quickly, get him outside before he discharges!
Rincewind nods in understanding, tucks Ferdy under his arm, and blurs towards the main door like a quarterback, slamming through the thick door and pointing Ferdy away from the Palace just before the little dragon belches, emitting a ball of bluish flame which rolls out towards the two ships.
Threepio stops short on the ladder from Carrot's vessel, moments before he was to help Angua [now clothed in a simple outfit of shirt, trousers, and boots] down from the ship. We see the fireball reflected in his spectacles as he shoves the Princess back to safety inside the ship, a bare instant before the fiery dragon-burp rolls past.
INT - CARROT'S VESSEL
Angua peers out of the door, wrinkling her nose at the smell of burning methane.
PRINCESS ANGUA
Threepio?
Threepio is a bit singed and rather tarnished, but otherwise undamaged. The lenses in his spectacles are cracked, though. After a brief diagnostic:
PONDER THREEPIO
I'm okay... but WHO THE HELL SET OFF A FLAMETHROWER OUT HERE?!
Rincewind, his robes smoking slightly and Ferdy still under his arm and now looking a bit apologetic, looks helplessly at the protocol droid.
RINCEWIND
Um... oops?
Angua pokes her head out of the ship and looks around briefly before she finds who Threepio is talking to, then she heads down the ladder past Threepio.
PRINCESS ANGUA
Rincewind? How did you get here?
RINCEWIND
It's a really long story. The others are still inside.
PRINCESS ANGUA
Did you see Carrot anywhere?
RINCEWIND
No. And he's kind of hard to miss, isn't he?
Just then, Our Intrepid Heroes and the dwarves head out to investigate all the noise.
VIMES
Gods, what's that smell?
RINCEWIND
That's, er, me. [glances at Ferdy] Mainly.
LADY SYBIL
Well, no wonder... poor thing must've been frightened half to death, it's a wonder he didn't explode.
RINCEWIND
He didn't *what*?!
He nearly drops the dragon, thinks better of it, and finally just holds Ferdy at arm's length.
Casanunda shoulders past him and makes a beeline for the Princess, primping and trying to make his slightly tattered self presentable as he goes.
CASANUNDA
And whom do I have the very great privilege of addressing?
PRINCESS ANGUA
Princess Angua von Uberwald.
CASANUNDA
And I expect all Uberwaldians are every bit as lovely as you are.
She looks as though he had just informed her that he'd lost his phone number and could he borrow hers.
VIMES
He's a friend of Ridcully's.
PRINCESS ANGUA
That figures. Speaking of which--
VIMES
That's where it gets complicated. We don't have time to explain - the Empire's here, and we have to leave. Now. [to Chewbacca, motioning to the Falcon] I assume you know how to fly this thing?
Chewie salutes and knuckles his way up the boarding ramp, but stops short when he sees the King and Queen of Uberwald [dressed in common clothes but wearing them like finery] already aboard.
PONDER THREEPIO
[quickly] They're with us, Chewbacca.
VIMES
[to Casanunda] I don't know if all those dwarves will fit.
CASANUNDA
We have ships of our own... and business to conclude here. We'll meet up with you later in Genua. [to Angua] It seems that the stars were not quite in our favour this day, mon chere... but we shall meet again!
He turns, runs back towards his captured palace, and busts the heel off one of his boots halfway there. This does not do kind things to one's balance while running, and he curses floridly in dwarvish as he picks himself up off the tarmac. He now has a run in his stockings.
Threepio winces [he would blush if he were capable] and hustles the Rebels into the Falcon.
INT - CASANUNDA'S PALACE
Carrot backs slowly away from Darth Vetinari, as Vetinari attempts to advance menacingly on him at roughly the same pace.
DARTH VETINARI
You came all this way to see me... how thoughtful of you. I get visitors so seldom. And it just so happens, you Carrot, that I have a business proposal for you.
CARROT
A... what?
DARTH VETINARI
Oh, I know you had other plans for this meeting. Killing me, for one.
CARROT
How did you--?
DARTH VETINARI
One of the pleasures of using the Force. I can read your thoughts, as easily as if you were voicing them to me right now. They betray you... Your lady-love, for example. The Princess was quite a tart, wasn't she?
Carrot grinds his teeth with the effort of resisting Vetinari's taunts.
DARTH VETINARI
No matter that she was a key member in an illegal Rebellion against the government. But before you profess your undying love to her, perhaps you should examine the merchandise more closely. Caveat Emptor, I always say. But back to that business proposal...
CARROT
I won't join forces with you, Vetinari.
DARTH VETINARI
[condescending] Oh, how clever. Reading ahead in the script like that. So. You won't join forces with me?
CARROT
Never.
DARTH VETINARI
Is that your final answer? If it is, you realise I'll have to kill you. Nothing against you, of course, you seem like a bright young man with a lot of potential for serving the forces of darkness.
CARROT
Um... one question.
DARTH VETINARI
[impatient] What?
CARROT
Are you my real father?
There is a startled beat of incredulity.
DARTH VETINARI
No! What kind of question is that?!
CARROT
Just asking.
DARTH VETINARI
Gods, what sort of messed-up space opera do you think this is?
CARROT
You never know. By the way, you wanted my final answer?
DARTH VETINARI
[carefully] Ye-es...
Carrot leaps suddenly, and as time slows, two things become clear. The first is that he is leaping backwards, away from Vetinari. The second is that he is leaping towards the end of one of the grates that make up the floor. At the other end of this grate stands Vetinari, who looks warily confused until an instant before Carrot lands, pistoning down hard with both feet. This sends Carrot's end sharply downward and Vetinari's end just as sharply upward like a catapult, and sends Vetinari himself flying upwards into the pipes and tubes which meander all over the ceiling. As he attempts to disentangle himself from the rats-nest of tubes:
DARTH VETINARI
All right! Now I am really getting annoyed!
He ignites his lightsaber and shears through the tubes, landing tidily with the grace of a cat. He looks around for Carrot, who is nowhere to be seen.
... unless, of course, you look at the far side of a support column, against which Carrot has his back.
After a few moments of probing, Vetinari zeroes in on the column and advances, his saber ready to kill Carrot a lot.
He swings at the column just as Carrot rolls away on the other side. The saber bites into the column before Vetinari can check his swing.
Carrot rolls to his feet and ignites his saber.
Vetinari turns to face him, then strikes at the young Jedi.
Their lightsabers crash together again and again, with a sound like a Van de Graaf generator falling down the stairs in slow motion. The two adversaries, it is clear, use very different styles - Vetinari the measured style of a swordsman, Carrot the brute force techniques of a really big dwarf. It balances, more or less. As the sabers lock together:
DARTH VETINARI
Do you really think you can defeat the Empire? You're practically a boy. You know nothing of how the world works.
CARROT
There's nothing you could teach me.
Carrot shoves him away, sending the Dark Lord sprawling against a pillar. Vetinari dodges away moments before he would have been beheaded; the pillar itself is rather neatly bisected.
DARTH VETINARI
That's good... let your anger rule you. Already you're becoming a disciple of the dark side, whether you want to or not.
Carrot hesitates at this, and Vetinari seizes an opening and charges, his lightsaber raised. Carrot barely counters and is driven back by Vetinari's ferocious attacks, first one step, then a dozen.
After several heartstopping rounds of this, Carrot's back is against a wall, and the lightsabers lock together. Vetinari cannot overpower Carrot with strength alone, and they both know this.
DARTH VETINARI
Oh, one more thing, Carrot... About Princess Angua, I just though you'd like to know what she was before you died. [he's really going to enjoy this] Princess Angua von Uberwald was a lycanthrope!
There is a beat of expectant silence.
CARROT
[politely] Yes?
This is clearly not the response Vetinari anticipated.
DARTH VETINARI
I beg your pardon? I just told you that your girlfriend was a lycanthrope!
CARROT
And I think she's the nicest lycanthrope I ever met. I expect her parents are the same way?
DARTH VETINARI
Ye-es... ["What the hell is going on here?"]
CARROT
I appreciate you wanting me to know, all the same.
Then, with a flick of Carrot's wrist, Vetinari's saber flies from his hand, and with a flick of considerably more of Carrot's other arm, the young Jedi punches the Sith Lord in the mouth hard enough to send him flying several feet.
As Vetinari lays there, stunned, Carrot approaches the Dark Lord, preparing to rid the people of the Disc of this menace, once and for all.
If only it were that easy.
As Carrot gets close to Vetinari, the Sith suddenly explodes into motion, whipping a stiletto dagger from a boot sheath and driving it into the meat of Carrot's calf. Carrot howls and clutches at his leg, almost falling.
Vetinari backpedals and scrambles to his feet, spitting out a mouthful of blood as he makes his escape.
Carrot pulls the dagger from his leg. It is covered in something sticky that doesn't look fit for human consumption. He looks after Vetinari, wanting to pursue him, but his leg is going numb even now. With one hand clamped on his wounded leg, he deactivates his lightsaber and staggers heavily towards an archway, through which can be seen a flight of stairs leading up, and a helpful sign indicating that they lead to "ROOF ACCESS."
He makes it to the stairs just as his leg buckles. As he leans on the bannister, he reaches down and activates the transponder. He pauses to catch his breath, sweat pouring down his face; the poison is spreading.
Distantly, he hears dwarvish voices approaching, and looks up.
CARROT
Gr'tuzk'a!
[subtitle: Hello!]
CASANUNDA [o.s.]
Oy there! There's a dwarf in here!
DWARF #1 [o.s.]
He isn't one of ours. The accent's wrong.
Casanunda approaches from the corridor, followed by several of the Ecksian dwarves.
CASANUNDA
Hullo. When did he get here? Hey you, did you see a dwarf in here?
Carrot looks at him.
CARROT
[dwarvish. Subtitle: My name is Carrot Skywalker... son of Owen Skywalker son of Balin Skywalker... of the clan Skywalker of the Hubward Ramtop Mountains...]
DWARF #2
Crikey. Bloody big dwarves they get in the mountains.
CASANUNDA
Well, no time for a full family history.
CARROT
[weakening] I need to get to the roof... Millennium Falcon...
CASANUNDA
[to the other dwarves] Must be with the Rebels. Well, if he needs to get to the roof - don't know why he would - let's get him to the roof! The poor kid can barely walk!
Carrot manages a weak smile of gratitude as the dwarves band together and, with the deceptive strength of their species, partially support but mostly carry Carrot up the stairs.
INT - MILLENNIUM FALCON
Chewie sits at the controls, steering the Falcon out of FourEcks.
Threepio, in the main cabin, is making sure that the royal family is comfortable. He approaches Angua, who seems preoccupied by Carrot's absence. The protocol droid rests a comforting metal hand on her shoulder, and she looks up at him.
PONDER THREEPIO
[to Angua] Try not to worry, Your Majesty. I'm sure Carrot will come through.
Angua offers him a wan "thanks-for-trying-to-help" smile.
Just then, Threepio perks up as he starts to receive the transponder signal.
PONDER THREEPIO
[to Igor and Artoo] Stay with them. [as he heads towards the cockpit] Turn around! Turn the ship around! We have to go back!
Chewie half-turns, wondering what the hell is wrong with Threepio as the droid bursts into the cockpit.
PONDER THREEPIO
Turn this ship around! Carrot's still alive! We have to go back right now!
Chewbacca gives a "whatever you say Mr. Insane Person" shrug and hauls the controls around.
EXT - MILLENNIUM FALCON
as it executes a sharp U-turn and heads back the way it came, leaving skid-marks in midair.
INT - MILLENNIUM FALCON
Threepio watches anxiously through the windscreen as they race back to the Palace.
PONDER THREEPIO
Must go faster... must go faster... must go faster...
PRINCESS ANGUA
Threepio?
Threepio turns, his visual sensors gleaming with excitement.
PONDER THREEPIO
Carrot's still alive. [smiling slightly at his own foresight] He paged me and now we're going to get him.
Angua is so happy at this news that she hugs the startled droid, then hurries back to the cabin to share the news. Chewbacca shakes his head in disbelief, then looks alert as they approach the palace.
EXT - CASANUNDA'S PALACE - ROOF
As the Falcon approaches, the FourEcks dwarves and their cargo come into view. Casanunda and a few of the dwarves are waving their arms to flag down the Falcon.
The ship hovers as close as it can to the roof, lowering a cargo platform bearing Vimes, Angua, Threepio, and Igor, onto which the dwarves bundle Carrot. Carrot himself is ashen-faced and barely conscious. There is no time to ask any questions, however, as the Falcon takes off as soon as Carrot is secured.
*****
End Part 15.