Secrets and Sympathy
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Memories are just where you laid them
Drag the waters 'till the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find?
Was there something you left behind?
Don't you remember anything I said when I said
Don't fall away, and leave me to myself
Don't fall away and leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding
Don't me now I feel contagious
Am I the only place that you've left to go?
She cries her life is like
Some movie black and white
Dead actors faking lines
Over and over and over again, she cries
Hemorrhage--Fuel
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It didn't take the group long to reach the Gagazet Caverns.
During that time period Tidus was consumed by his own thoughts. Was it possible? he thought. Am I really a dream? Am I going to fade away like the rest of Zanarkand after Sin is defeated? It wasn't that he didn't want to be a hero and sacrifice himself for the good of Spira. He just wanted to be with Yuna. Was that too much to ask? I guess it is, he thought.
Yuna didn't know what to think about the man she loved. She was scared that something had happened to him. All the time that he was laying there on the ground, Yuna and the remaining guardians tried to wake him up. But luck was not with them. It was as if he had gone to a place, some far distant place, where nobody could reach him. Not even her, and that was what scared her the most. She wanted him by his side, always, as he said he would be. What would she do if he went to that place again?
By the time they had reached the caverns, conversation had picked up a little. Faith was wondering what was going on, but more than that, she was wondering why everyone was so sad. But she didn't dare ask anyone.
Once inside the caverns, they reached a place where water submerged part of the trail. Are we going to go back? Faith thought to herself. But then she realized that there was no going back. Not for anyone, or anything.
"Looks like we got a job to do ya?" Wakka said as he turned to the crowd.
"If anything happens down there in the water," Lulu began "were relying on you three. If anything dangerous happens, pull out quick."
Wakka, Rikku, and Tidus jumped in the water and started to dive. Right before Tidus submerged himself, he took one last look back to Yuna.
"Be careful," she said.
Then the guardian turned around and dove into the black depths of the water.
As they waited on the trio to come back, Faith realized that she had the time to think about things, but more importantly, figure out things. After a few minutes, she pulled Auron to the side.
"Why is everybody so depressed?" Faith asked bluntly.
"Because we're nearing the end of our journey." He responded.
"Well, shouldn't everybody be glad?" she asked. "After all, you're about to beat Sin, am I right?"
"Yes." Auron paused. "But every happy ending requires a sacrifice."
Suddenly Faith felt as if she had started asking questions for answers she that really didn't want. But it was too late now.
"What kind of sacrifice?" Faith asked reluctantly.
The powerful man sighed and glanced away before uttering a single word that stuck out in Faith's mind for a long time. "Yuna."
Suddenly it made a lot of sense. All of the looks that Tidus gave her, all of the awkward silences, everything fell into place. Everything that is, except Faith.
"Why?" she responded, casually looking at the summoner. "Why does she have to die?"
"It's an age-old tradition. A summoner must sacrifice herself in the final summoning in order to bring about the calm. It's apart of the process."
"Is there any other way?" Faith responded. "I'm sure there has to be."
"No." Auron said after a brief pause. "Rikku and Tidus are trying to think of one, just as I did, ten years ago. You see, this is my second pilgrimage. I helped guard Lord Braska, Yuna's father, on his journey. We also tried to think of something, but this is the only way."
Faith was about to say something else when a loud splash erupted behind her.
"All set, we can pass now." Wakka said as he led the trio out of the water.
"Any trouble?" Lulu asked.
"Nah, nothin' we couldn't handle ya."
With that, the group began to move again, this time with Faith trailing. She felt more down than she had since she arrived in this strange world. She felt more alone.
When they had cleared the caverns, a strange feeling swept over Faith. It was one that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Somehow, something inside of her had a feeling that some evil thing was coming.
"It's here." Auron said frigidly.
Then without warning, a massive dragon-looking creature dropped from the skies and let out a massive roar that chilled Faith to the bone.
"Stay behind us." Yuna whispered to her. Not wanting to face the horror of the beast before her, Faith jumped back out of the way.
The Sanctuary Keeper let out another blood-curdling roar as the warriors got into a fighting position.
Faith was awestruck by the way that everyone fought and maneuvered. It was if all six of the fighters were not working as individuals, but as a larger, more fluid team. It impressed her. The battle ensued for ten minutes, and all the time it seemed that the combatants were in control. That is until the beast did a tail sweep that struck everyone to the ground.
In that one move, the Sanctuary Keeper had broken the organized unit into six scattered, panicking, individuals.
Damn it, Tidus thought to himself. Although cursing was out of character for him, he was too frustrated at the situation not to. We were so close too, he thought. I felt it. He jumped out and slashed the monster again, hoping that his blow would be the fatal one. But it was to no avail. We're so close though.
Lulu could sense it as well. She wanted to end it here and now, so she drew all of her magic power that was left and cast Ultima. She too, like Tidus, hoped that her attack would be the one to kill the beast. But when it didn't, she withdrew completely spent and dejected.
Faith felt completely useless. She had watched the battle intensely, but only to get a sense of worthlessness. Is there anything I can do? She thought to herself. She had never seen a battle like this, so she felt extremely out of place.
When the battle broke open, she watched in horror as the fighters scrambled back and started to attack in desperation. She saw Tidus attack ferociously; and then she watched Lulu cast the huge green ball of Ultima. If only I could help, she thought again. If I could only do something like that.
Suddenly another blast of Ultima ripped open the sky. The monster gave out another roar of pain as his body went limp against the white snow. Faith watched in awe as the beast disintegrated into phases of light and spirits.
Auron, with his robe ripped open across his chest and blood dripping from his arm, jammed his sword down in the ground victoriously.
"That's how it's done."
"Yes!! We did it!!' Rikku exclaimed as she bounced up and down.
"Good job Lu." Wakka said as he turned to the black mage. "What was that? A double cast of Ultima or something?"
"I really," Lulu replied, not really sure how to continue. "don't know."
"What do you mean?" Tidus asked. "You finished him off."
"No I didn't." Lulu replied. "I cast Ultima, but only once. I was completely drained and had no way of doing it again."
"What are you talking about?" responded Tidus.
"Didn't you hear me clear enough? I didn't do it. Does somebody have a mime spell that I don't know about?"
Faith tried to slink in the back of the group. She knew that she had cast that second blast of Ultima. She didn't know how she knew, how she did it, or if she could do it again, but she knew that somehow it came from her. What is happening to me? she thought to herself.
"Uh, guys." She said hesitantly. "I think I did it."
"Wha..?" Wakka said. Everyone else elicited little remarks of shock.
"How?" Lulu said sternly.
"I don't know.' Faith admitted. "I just think, I feel, that I did it. I don't know how."
"Are you a mage too?" Yuna asked.
"A what?" Faith replied. "No, I don't think. I just…" She sighed and looked down.
"It's ok." Rikku assured her. "Just take your time."
After a few seconds, Faith continued. "I don't know how. But I remember thinking 'I wished I could do something like that.' And then a few seconds later, it happened. I don't know how, but that's all I know."
"Great." Lulu said sarcastically. "I've spent my whole life training to be a mage, and you just wished yourself to be one." She paused again. "That's just great." With that, the dark warrior turned, and walked down the mountainside.
"Very interesting." Auron said before turning to follow Lulu.
"Hey." Wakka said while putting his hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad your on our side ya?"
As the group started the final decent, Faith just stood there, too stunned to move. But somehow, I did do this, she thought desperately. But deep down, she was afraid. She was afraid of herself. She was afraid of what else she was capable of.
After a few minutes she followed the group but still kept her distance. She really didn't want to be there. I just want to go home, she thought. I want to forget all of this. I want to be in my apartment, hanging out with my friends, playing video games, watching blitzball, and doing anything. Anything but here. I just want to go home.
It was then that she turned the corner of the trail, only to see that everyone else had stopped. They were staring forward. They were staring at Zanarkand, her home.
For Tidus, he had the same feelings that Faith was having, but in different ways. He wanted to go home too. But sitting here, seeing Zanarkand in ruins, he realized that his home was here, now, with Yuna. He looked at her for a long time. And then he started to think.
A city lost, he thought. A city dead for a thousand years. I had to see it with my own eyes to really believe it. This is the end of my journey, he thought to himself.
This is the last chapter of my story.
Rikku was the first to speak.
"Yuna. I say no. If we go down there, then you'll…"
There was that awkward silence that seems to fit perfectly now to Faith. She really didn't want to be here. She had a strange feeling that this was going to turn sad. Really sad. For once she forgot about her suffering and her sense of loss. Because Yuna's is greater, she thought. Far greater.
"Rikku, you're a true friend," the summoner said. "And I thank you, but I must go, down to Zanarkand"
"I'm not saying you shouldn't go." Rikku responded. "But shouldn't we think about it some more? There's got to be some kind of way we can save you Yuna."
Tidus wanted to say something, but he was too ashamed to. I'm ashamed, because we didn't think of a way. And now, it's too late.
"All my life, I knew this moment would come." Yuna continued.
"Yunie." It was then that Yuna reached in, and hugged her longtime friend.
"Thank you, Rikku. Thank you for everything."
"Don't say that Yunie. It's not over yet."
Faith had to glance away, because Rikku started to cry.
"Tell Cid, 'thank you'." Yuna said, still embracing her cousin.
"You can tell him yourself." Rikku responded.
"Please," Yuna pleaded.
To Faith, that last word tugged at her emotions. She didn't know who Cid was, but she knew it must have been somebody close. She had to fight her own tears just thinking about what must be going through the summoner's mind.
"Yunie, don't say that." Rikuu begged. "Because were gonna see each other again, ok"
Finally, Yuna stepped back from her friend with tears in her own eyes. But she would not be wavered.
"Kimahri," she said slowly. "Lets go"
With more effort than it should have taken, Tidus began to walk forward. There still has to be a way, he thought. Although something told him that those were just words of false hope. It was then that he looked back at Faith. What about her? She has some powers that we don't know about. Can she do anything? He didn't know, but he was determined to find out. As he slowed down to move himself to the back of the group where Faith was, he stepped on something.
"What?" he said as he looked down. There, on the snow, glistening in the evening sun was a sphere. The only person who saw it was himself and Faith. He picked it up and looked at her, thinking. Do I let her listen to this? He thought about that question for a moment. I don't even know whose it is. Do I trust her enough yet? In then end, he realized that it didn't really matter.
"What is that?" Faith asked hesitantly.
"It's a sphere, kind of like a voice recorder back home." He replied
"Oh. Well whose is it?"
" I don't know, but I'm gonna find out. Come over here."
Tidus motioned her over beside the cliff wall where he was. As she walked over to where he was, the group continued down the path towards Zanarkand.
Well, Tidus thought, here we go. He pushed the play button and immediately he heard Yuna's sweet voice coming through. At first, he wanted to turn it back off, because he felt guilty. But natural curiosity overcame him, and both of the Zanarkand descendants listened quietly as the snow fell.
"Sir Auron" it started.
For Faith, she really didn't want to listen, but she was unable to resist. It was if she knew she was doing the wrong thing, but some part of her human psyche was too curious to just let it be. It was like reading intercepted love letters, she thought. Or worse, hidden diaries.
"Kimarhi told me that when my father wanted me taken from Bevelle to Besaid, it was you who told Kimarhi, right? I had always wanted to meet you some day. I am truly glad that I had that chance. Having you as a guardian was so great an honor. I don't know how to thank you. Perhaps, if I defeat Sin, that will be my thanks to you. Perhaps that is what I will do. Yes, I will challenge Sin; I will defeat Sin.
"If you are all there watching this, I guess Sin is already gone, and so am I."
Faith felt even more uncomfortable. It was if she was reading somebody's will, but that somebody wasn't dead yet. It was that impending feeling of doom that she couldn't shake. She took a glance towards Tidus, and then quickly looked back. I guess even hardcore blitzball players don't like to be caught leaking around the eyes, she thought.
The sphere continued.
Yuna's voice gave out a brief sigh before continuing. "Anyway, I just wanted to say Sir Auron, I thank you."
"Kimahri, do you remember the first day we met? I was only seven, my father had defeated Sin and all of Bevelle was celebrating. Everyone was saying what a hero my father was. I was so happy. But when night came, it occurred to me. My father had defeated Sin, and now he was dead. Now I was all alone. I couldn't sleep, so I wandered into the town, away from the celebrating clouds. I stood on the bridge in Bevelle, where my father and I had parted. Standing there, alone, I could see the fields where he had fought Sin. Then you appeared Kimahri."
"You said you were looking for the daughter of Braska. At first I was so scared, until I realized what a gentle person you are."
Then Yuna's voice laughed, however it wasn't a natural laugh to Faith. It was one that sounded forced. It's the kind of laugh that someone gives when they're sad inside, but something funny happens and it's expected to laugh. It sounded strained.
"You weren't used to talking to children," the sphere continued. "When I said that I was Braska's daughter, you said that you would take me as far from Bevelle as you could. That it was the wish of a man facing death. I think I cried then, because that was when I knew that my father was dead and I would never see him again. You just held me. Without saying a word. I cried after we got to Besaid too. After you tried to go, after leaving me, there on the temple, I held on to you yelling 'don't go, don't, don't go' and you listened Kimahri."
"You stayed, Kimahri thank you. Thank you so much. And I've always liked your broken horn."
"Wakka Lulu, I'll never forget my days with you, growing up in Besaid. We always were together, us and Chappu. That's why I was always so happy I think. And when you refused to let me become a summoner, and I did it anyway, I'm sorry. I've always wanted to apologize. You know when you tried to stop me then, I was happy. I could tell that you cared about me. You were like my big brother and sister. No."
There was a brief pause. "I think you really were my big brother and sister."
"What else? I love watching you play blitzball Wakka. I even love it when you scold me Lulu. Really"
"I guess that leaves the newest guardian, star player of the Zanarkand Abes."
Faith looked at Tidus. "You want me to go?" she asked. Deep down, she hoped he would say 'yes.' But after a few moments, he just shook his head no.
The sphere continued.
" You, I am." Yuna seemed to pause, as if unsure what to say next.
"Well…Um…I'm glad." There was another pause. "I'm glad that we met. We haven't even known each other that long, but its funny…"
"So this is what if feels like. It's a much more wonderful feeling than anything I had ever imagined. Wonderful. But it hurts sometimes...hmmm.mmmm"
"I wonder. I just want to say, thank you for everything. Maybe, that's why it hurts, when I think about us never being together again at all."
"I'm afraid."
Faith wanted to turn away and run. She didn't want to be apart of this. To her, it seemed as if it was a death trip that she was caught up in. She didn't really know Yuna. Actually, she really didn't know any of them. But she felt as if it was cruel for this to happen to anyone. And it was wrong for the two of them to be listening to this sphere.
" No I shouldn't say that," Yuna's voice continued. "I'll do that part over."
Then Tidus' voice came from the sphere, but it seemed as if it was coming from a distance. It sounded like it came from behind her somehow.
"Whatcha up to?" it said.
Then there was a click as the sphere cut itself off.
The two figures stood there in the snow, too shocked to move, and too stunned to say anything to each other. After a few minutes, Faith stepped over, and hugged Tidus as he tried to hold back tears.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's notes.
1—The characters, places, events referred to, etc., are copyrighted by Squaresoft.
2—This story however is created by me.
3—Faith is my character, don't use her in any way she wouldn't appreciate.
4—Sorry kids, this chapter was way too long. I'll trim them up in the future.
5—Any comments, complaints, advice, bashings, etc., hit me at rune_paradigm@yahoo.com, or just put it in a review.
6—FFX rocks. Introduce this game to somebody and watch their GPA drop.