Chapter 6: It's all coming together.
The air was heavy with perfume and Carma was finding it hard to breathe. She opened her eyes, glancing at Crais kneeling opposite her. Like her he was dressed in ceremonial garments. His broad chest was partly visible in the toga he was wearing, which would have distracted her if she weren't so focused on staying calm in the oppressive atmosphere. His robes were black, hers white - symbols of opposites joining she assumed. It seemed her people had done away with some of the fancier aspects of the Sebacean bonding ceremony.
Crais opened his eyes and caught her looking at him. He took her hands in his as they began to synchronise their breathing. The mist surrounding them was now starting to make them both light-headed, a sensation both found difficult to accept. It took great self-control not to break away, but that was the purpose. Surrendering to each other and the universe was what they were here to do.
"Carma?"
"Bialar...this is incredible."
The words, spoken with thought and not vocalised, were the beginning. As they both began to relax and let the chemicals in the air supply enter their systems, the link between them intensified. Carma found herself seeing things in Crais' past that until now she'd seen only through Talyn's eyes. She saw herself through Crais' eyes and knew that he was seeing himself through hers.
No words, no uncertainty, no questions. They both knew exactly how the other felt. When they'd arrived here, they'd been told that this part of the ceremony would remove all doubt about the decision they were making. Some couples left afterwards, often one was heart broken over their discoveries, but the ones that continued knew beyond all doubt that their decision was the right one. Feeling someone else's love for you as if it were your own for them left no secrets. That was why it was practised.
Carma felt Crais' hands cup her chin and a moment later his lips on hers. She returned the kiss hungrily and, still able to feel everything the other did, they lost all sense of time as they made love.
***
Carma rubbed the back of her hand ruefully, the newly-tattooed flesh tender and red. She understood the concept of a permanent mark to signify their permanent bond, but that didn't make it hurt any less. She studied the design that had been burned into her flesh, the intricate circular pattern intriguing her. It was unlike anything she had seen on her world and was curious about its significance.
"It is the eternal circle," Crais said, almost seeming to pick up her thoughts as he traced the design on his own hand. "There are many different parts, but all join together. A symbol of a bond without end. Do you not have something similar on your planet?"
Carma didn't answer right away, instead she pulled off her jacket. They were sitting in the public gardens next to the boarding house they had stayed at the previous night. She swept her hair, which had grown much too long for space travel, Crais noted, off her neck and showed him the tattoo that he suddenly realised he had noticed almost two cycles earlier and forgotten about.
"This symbol," she said, "is the Teraxian symbol of faith. I was given this tattoo at birth, a symbol that my parents had absolute faith that I would grow to be wise and strong." She turned back to Crais. "When a couple marry, they will usually exchange gifts that bear this symbol to seal their promise of faith in each other and their union. I suppose no one will have heard of that here."
"It is not normally practiced, as far as I am aware," Crais admitted, "but I am certain that there is a craftsperson here who could create such tokens."
Carma sighed happily and lay back on the grassy bank. There was only one thing missing now...their daughter.
***
Braca loathed being a renegade. He'd spent his entire career following orders, serving without question so that he could rise up the ranks. Now his life had lost all sense of structure, he was in a world where he didn't know the rules.
He needed a goal. Braca always had a goal in mind, that was how he operated. Every time he'd said 'yes' against his will - first to Crais, then Scorpius, then Grayza - it had been because he was focused on his ultimate goal and little details didn't matter. And now that goal had been taken away from him.
So he focused on the one thing he wanted and might have a chance of getting - Raylani. Scorpius hadn't been wrong about the emotional connection, it had been the one really stupid thing he'd done in his life. It had started well, they'd recreated and he'd had at least a taste of revenge on Crais. If he'd stopped then he wouldn't be here now. But he hadn't, he'd kept seeing her. He hadn't even realised that it was becoming more until the night she'd told him she were leaving. What had happened that night hadn't been recreation. He wasn't exactly sure what it had been, but it hadn't been recreation. And he'd thrown his life away for it.
So he'd find her. Maybe recreate with her some more, maybe kill her, maybe just....anything. He'd get her out of his system. It wasn't like he had anything else to do.
***
Raylani was having an out-of-body experience. Crais' entire family had descended and the female half had surrounded her and smothered her in a blanket of baby clothes. She'd had no idea that her father had so many relatives. There seemed to be a family of Craises in every village (two being rather a lot to deal with) and every second one had travelled here. The inn-keeper, owning the only rooms for rent in the village, was now her devoted servant.
She'd been introduced to a never-ending flood of strangers, who all raised an eyebrow at her lack of bonding tattoo and were given a stern look by Alainya, but greeted her warmly. And they had all brought gifts. She had begun to wonder how many babies they thought she was having. She must have enough clothes for a dozen at least!
Crichton was still away, looking for her parents, and the baby was due in less than a weeken. She was increasingly frightened of being stuck here alone. Not that she could be alone with Crais' family all around her, but she wanted her mother. She wasn't sure she could bear the guilt if her actions meant that Carma never knew her grandchild.
Later that evening, she was sitting with Alainya at the front of the house, finally safe from the swarm of well-meaning relatives. She stared at the setting sun, her hands on her stomach, thinking of...everyone.
"Are you going to tell me?"
"Tell you what?" Raylani asked, pulling herself out of her reverie.
"About the father," Alainya said gently.
Raylani stiffened. "I don't think that's a good idea."
Alainya nodded slowly. "Will you at least answer one question?"
"What is it?" Raylani asked, keeping her gaze fixed on the colourful sky.
"Did he..." Alainya paused, not certain how to ask her, "did he...hurt you?"
Raylani started. "No," she said, suddenly realising what had been bothering her grandmother all this time. "No. He...was someone I...chose."
"Did you love him?"
"I tried not to."
"Why?" Alainya asked, amazed. "Why would you not want to love someone?"
"Because he would never love me. And because...the reason why I won't tell you or Crichton who he is, is that my father knows him and...hates him. He'd never understand how I could have...how he could be the father."
"And your mother?"
"She knows him, but not well. I think she would accept it, but my father wouldn't, I'm sure."
Alainya sighed. "I hope you have the chance to be proved wrong."
***
Crichton knew he should have turned back by now. He'd been about to, hating to give up, but then he'd found what he was sure was Talyn's signal. His small craft seemed to crawl along as they moved closer to the source. He was afraid that Talyn would starburst before he was within communications range.
He was still reeling from the shock of meeting Crais' parents. He was even more shocked that he liked them. Crais' father was so straight-laced, he reminded Crichton incredibly of his Great Aunt Marion. So much so that he'd had to force the image of Valen Crais peering at him through old fashioned spectacles out of his mind to keep from laughing. And Crais' mother...well, she explained a lot.
Long hair, still black in places although mostly grey now. Greyish eyes, high cheekbones, chiselled features. She looked more like Aeryn than Xhalax had. 'I wonder if Crais ever noticed it,' Crichton mused. One thing was certain, if Crais hadn't noticed, Crichton would be pointing it out. Freud would've loved it.
A sharp beep from his control panel told him that he was finally within communications range, although he still couldn't scan to be sure that it really was Talyn. He'd take the risk.
"Crais," he said. "Crais, this is Crichton. I know I'm supposed to be dead, I'll fill you in later. I've got something important to tell you."
He waited for an answer and got nothing. Groaning in frustration, he realised he'd just have to wait until he got nearer.
***
"Do you expect me to believe that?"
Braca swallowed. Aeryn Sun was playing her role as interrogator just a little too well. And for once he was telling the absolute truth. Moya had come out of starburst almost on top of him and scooped him up in the docking web before he could get away. The last thing he'd wanted was to have Crichton let loose on him. Instead Crichton wasn't there and Aeryn was doing his part. And here he was, chained up in one of their cells. No one served as second in command to Scorpius without becoming accustomed to seeing their life flash before their eyes, but this was the first time he'd seen it because of anyone else.
"It's the truth," he croaked.
"I suppose now you want to join us?"
That thought hadn't even crossed his mind. But Crais had, hadn't he? And he hadn't hurt them half as much as Crais had.
"Would you allow me to?" he asked, more out of curiosity than anything else.
Aeryn raised an eyebrow at him, but gave no answer. Braca swallowed again, wondering what his fate would be.
***
Crais and Carma returned to Talyn the next morning, looking much like newly-weds anywhere. Which is to say, absolutely exhausted but suspiciously happy. They were both hoping for a nice, uneventful day on Talyn that would allow them to spend time alone together. It wasn't to be.
Talyn gave no indication that anything was wrong as they approached, and Crais was too pre-occupied to pay attention to all the information from the sensors. He landed the transport pod with ease and he and Carma climbed out, Crais turning to kiss her near the bottom.
"Welcome home," an oh-so-familiar voice said. Crais nearly lost his footing on the ramp. He and Carma stared at the figure awaiting them. Then they walked unsteadily down the last few steps and approached him.
"Crichton," Crais said, his expression and tone displaying total shock. "You're alive. How?"
"Long story," Crichton said casually. "I'll fill you in on the way."
"The way where?" Carma asked, equally stunned.
"The way home," Crichton said, smiling slightly. "Your home, Crais, we found it."
"My home?" Crais asked. His voice rose an octave on the word 'home' but, this being Crais, his voice still sounded deep.
Crichton grinned. "Yeah Crais, your home. We'd better get going, they're expecting us."
"Crichton," Crais began, "I am not certain if...."
Crichton waved his objections aside. "Sorry Crais, it's out of your hands, I already talked Talyn into it. Besides, even if you're not sure about seeing your parents, I'm betting you want to meet your daughter."
"Raylani is there?" Carma asked, her face breaking into a smile.
"Yup," Crichton said, "she's there. That's why we have to get back quickly." He grinned wickedly, unable to resist. "I'm sure you don't want to miss the birth of your grandchild."
That was one shock too many, Crais' vision began to cloud over.
"Our what?" Carma asked, certain she had heard wrong.
"Your grandchild," Crichton repeated calmly.
Some primordial instinct took over Crais' overloaded brain. He grabbed his pulse pistol and pointed it at Crichton. "If you have harmed her...I will kill you," he said, his knees shaking.
Crichton held up his hands. "Whoa, Crais, it wasn't me! Not that she isn't kinda hot...but she's a bit young. And she's your daughter...which is just too weird."
Crais turned to Carma. "Why did you not tell me there was a man?"
"I didn't know," Carma said, as stunned as him. "She never said anything. I had a feeling once that there might be someone, but she denied it and I never had the slightest idea who it might be."
"Do you know?" Crais asked Crichton abruptly.
"No," Crichton said. "She wouldn't tell me either. You'll have to ask her. But right now we have to get going. It's due in less than a weeken and it'll take at least that long to get back." He slapped his comm badge. "Talyn, take us out."
Crais was too shell-shocked even to care that Crichton was giving orders.
***
It was four arns before Raylani told anyone she was in labour. It wasn't so bad to start off with and she ignored it, trying to convince herself that it hadn't started yet. She was suddenly terrified of giving birth, and miserable that Crichton still wasn't back. Struggling to lift her heavy frame out of bed, she moved slowly across the landing to Alainya and Valen's bedroom and knocked. One look when she opened the door told Alainya everything she needed to know.
"Come on," she said, leading Raylani back to her bed. "It won't be long now."
The air was heavy with perfume and Carma was finding it hard to breathe. She opened her eyes, glancing at Crais kneeling opposite her. Like her he was dressed in ceremonial garments. His broad chest was partly visible in the toga he was wearing, which would have distracted her if she weren't so focused on staying calm in the oppressive atmosphere. His robes were black, hers white - symbols of opposites joining she assumed. It seemed her people had done away with some of the fancier aspects of the Sebacean bonding ceremony.
Crais opened his eyes and caught her looking at him. He took her hands in his as they began to synchronise their breathing. The mist surrounding them was now starting to make them both light-headed, a sensation both found difficult to accept. It took great self-control not to break away, but that was the purpose. Surrendering to each other and the universe was what they were here to do.
"Carma?"
"Bialar...this is incredible."
The words, spoken with thought and not vocalised, were the beginning. As they both began to relax and let the chemicals in the air supply enter their systems, the link between them intensified. Carma found herself seeing things in Crais' past that until now she'd seen only through Talyn's eyes. She saw herself through Crais' eyes and knew that he was seeing himself through hers.
No words, no uncertainty, no questions. They both knew exactly how the other felt. When they'd arrived here, they'd been told that this part of the ceremony would remove all doubt about the decision they were making. Some couples left afterwards, often one was heart broken over their discoveries, but the ones that continued knew beyond all doubt that their decision was the right one. Feeling someone else's love for you as if it were your own for them left no secrets. That was why it was practised.
Carma felt Crais' hands cup her chin and a moment later his lips on hers. She returned the kiss hungrily and, still able to feel everything the other did, they lost all sense of time as they made love.
***
Carma rubbed the back of her hand ruefully, the newly-tattooed flesh tender and red. She understood the concept of a permanent mark to signify their permanent bond, but that didn't make it hurt any less. She studied the design that had been burned into her flesh, the intricate circular pattern intriguing her. It was unlike anything she had seen on her world and was curious about its significance.
"It is the eternal circle," Crais said, almost seeming to pick up her thoughts as he traced the design on his own hand. "There are many different parts, but all join together. A symbol of a bond without end. Do you not have something similar on your planet?"
Carma didn't answer right away, instead she pulled off her jacket. They were sitting in the public gardens next to the boarding house they had stayed at the previous night. She swept her hair, which had grown much too long for space travel, Crais noted, off her neck and showed him the tattoo that he suddenly realised he had noticed almost two cycles earlier and forgotten about.
"This symbol," she said, "is the Teraxian symbol of faith. I was given this tattoo at birth, a symbol that my parents had absolute faith that I would grow to be wise and strong." She turned back to Crais. "When a couple marry, they will usually exchange gifts that bear this symbol to seal their promise of faith in each other and their union. I suppose no one will have heard of that here."
"It is not normally practiced, as far as I am aware," Crais admitted, "but I am certain that there is a craftsperson here who could create such tokens."
Carma sighed happily and lay back on the grassy bank. There was only one thing missing now...their daughter.
***
Braca loathed being a renegade. He'd spent his entire career following orders, serving without question so that he could rise up the ranks. Now his life had lost all sense of structure, he was in a world where he didn't know the rules.
He needed a goal. Braca always had a goal in mind, that was how he operated. Every time he'd said 'yes' against his will - first to Crais, then Scorpius, then Grayza - it had been because he was focused on his ultimate goal and little details didn't matter. And now that goal had been taken away from him.
So he focused on the one thing he wanted and might have a chance of getting - Raylani. Scorpius hadn't been wrong about the emotional connection, it had been the one really stupid thing he'd done in his life. It had started well, they'd recreated and he'd had at least a taste of revenge on Crais. If he'd stopped then he wouldn't be here now. But he hadn't, he'd kept seeing her. He hadn't even realised that it was becoming more until the night she'd told him she were leaving. What had happened that night hadn't been recreation. He wasn't exactly sure what it had been, but it hadn't been recreation. And he'd thrown his life away for it.
So he'd find her. Maybe recreate with her some more, maybe kill her, maybe just....anything. He'd get her out of his system. It wasn't like he had anything else to do.
***
Raylani was having an out-of-body experience. Crais' entire family had descended and the female half had surrounded her and smothered her in a blanket of baby clothes. She'd had no idea that her father had so many relatives. There seemed to be a family of Craises in every village (two being rather a lot to deal with) and every second one had travelled here. The inn-keeper, owning the only rooms for rent in the village, was now her devoted servant.
She'd been introduced to a never-ending flood of strangers, who all raised an eyebrow at her lack of bonding tattoo and were given a stern look by Alainya, but greeted her warmly. And they had all brought gifts. She had begun to wonder how many babies they thought she was having. She must have enough clothes for a dozen at least!
Crichton was still away, looking for her parents, and the baby was due in less than a weeken. She was increasingly frightened of being stuck here alone. Not that she could be alone with Crais' family all around her, but she wanted her mother. She wasn't sure she could bear the guilt if her actions meant that Carma never knew her grandchild.
Later that evening, she was sitting with Alainya at the front of the house, finally safe from the swarm of well-meaning relatives. She stared at the setting sun, her hands on her stomach, thinking of...everyone.
"Are you going to tell me?"
"Tell you what?" Raylani asked, pulling herself out of her reverie.
"About the father," Alainya said gently.
Raylani stiffened. "I don't think that's a good idea."
Alainya nodded slowly. "Will you at least answer one question?"
"What is it?" Raylani asked, keeping her gaze fixed on the colourful sky.
"Did he..." Alainya paused, not certain how to ask her, "did he...hurt you?"
Raylani started. "No," she said, suddenly realising what had been bothering her grandmother all this time. "No. He...was someone I...chose."
"Did you love him?"
"I tried not to."
"Why?" Alainya asked, amazed. "Why would you not want to love someone?"
"Because he would never love me. And because...the reason why I won't tell you or Crichton who he is, is that my father knows him and...hates him. He'd never understand how I could have...how he could be the father."
"And your mother?"
"She knows him, but not well. I think she would accept it, but my father wouldn't, I'm sure."
Alainya sighed. "I hope you have the chance to be proved wrong."
***
Crichton knew he should have turned back by now. He'd been about to, hating to give up, but then he'd found what he was sure was Talyn's signal. His small craft seemed to crawl along as they moved closer to the source. He was afraid that Talyn would starburst before he was within communications range.
He was still reeling from the shock of meeting Crais' parents. He was even more shocked that he liked them. Crais' father was so straight-laced, he reminded Crichton incredibly of his Great Aunt Marion. So much so that he'd had to force the image of Valen Crais peering at him through old fashioned spectacles out of his mind to keep from laughing. And Crais' mother...well, she explained a lot.
Long hair, still black in places although mostly grey now. Greyish eyes, high cheekbones, chiselled features. She looked more like Aeryn than Xhalax had. 'I wonder if Crais ever noticed it,' Crichton mused. One thing was certain, if Crais hadn't noticed, Crichton would be pointing it out. Freud would've loved it.
A sharp beep from his control panel told him that he was finally within communications range, although he still couldn't scan to be sure that it really was Talyn. He'd take the risk.
"Crais," he said. "Crais, this is Crichton. I know I'm supposed to be dead, I'll fill you in later. I've got something important to tell you."
He waited for an answer and got nothing. Groaning in frustration, he realised he'd just have to wait until he got nearer.
***
"Do you expect me to believe that?"
Braca swallowed. Aeryn Sun was playing her role as interrogator just a little too well. And for once he was telling the absolute truth. Moya had come out of starburst almost on top of him and scooped him up in the docking web before he could get away. The last thing he'd wanted was to have Crichton let loose on him. Instead Crichton wasn't there and Aeryn was doing his part. And here he was, chained up in one of their cells. No one served as second in command to Scorpius without becoming accustomed to seeing their life flash before their eyes, but this was the first time he'd seen it because of anyone else.
"It's the truth," he croaked.
"I suppose now you want to join us?"
That thought hadn't even crossed his mind. But Crais had, hadn't he? And he hadn't hurt them half as much as Crais had.
"Would you allow me to?" he asked, more out of curiosity than anything else.
Aeryn raised an eyebrow at him, but gave no answer. Braca swallowed again, wondering what his fate would be.
***
Crais and Carma returned to Talyn the next morning, looking much like newly-weds anywhere. Which is to say, absolutely exhausted but suspiciously happy. They were both hoping for a nice, uneventful day on Talyn that would allow them to spend time alone together. It wasn't to be.
Talyn gave no indication that anything was wrong as they approached, and Crais was too pre-occupied to pay attention to all the information from the sensors. He landed the transport pod with ease and he and Carma climbed out, Crais turning to kiss her near the bottom.
"Welcome home," an oh-so-familiar voice said. Crais nearly lost his footing on the ramp. He and Carma stared at the figure awaiting them. Then they walked unsteadily down the last few steps and approached him.
"Crichton," Crais said, his expression and tone displaying total shock. "You're alive. How?"
"Long story," Crichton said casually. "I'll fill you in on the way."
"The way where?" Carma asked, equally stunned.
"The way home," Crichton said, smiling slightly. "Your home, Crais, we found it."
"My home?" Crais asked. His voice rose an octave on the word 'home' but, this being Crais, his voice still sounded deep.
Crichton grinned. "Yeah Crais, your home. We'd better get going, they're expecting us."
"Crichton," Crais began, "I am not certain if...."
Crichton waved his objections aside. "Sorry Crais, it's out of your hands, I already talked Talyn into it. Besides, even if you're not sure about seeing your parents, I'm betting you want to meet your daughter."
"Raylani is there?" Carma asked, her face breaking into a smile.
"Yup," Crichton said, "she's there. That's why we have to get back quickly." He grinned wickedly, unable to resist. "I'm sure you don't want to miss the birth of your grandchild."
That was one shock too many, Crais' vision began to cloud over.
"Our what?" Carma asked, certain she had heard wrong.
"Your grandchild," Crichton repeated calmly.
Some primordial instinct took over Crais' overloaded brain. He grabbed his pulse pistol and pointed it at Crichton. "If you have harmed her...I will kill you," he said, his knees shaking.
Crichton held up his hands. "Whoa, Crais, it wasn't me! Not that she isn't kinda hot...but she's a bit young. And she's your daughter...which is just too weird."
Crais turned to Carma. "Why did you not tell me there was a man?"
"I didn't know," Carma said, as stunned as him. "She never said anything. I had a feeling once that there might be someone, but she denied it and I never had the slightest idea who it might be."
"Do you know?" Crais asked Crichton abruptly.
"No," Crichton said. "She wouldn't tell me either. You'll have to ask her. But right now we have to get going. It's due in less than a weeken and it'll take at least that long to get back." He slapped his comm badge. "Talyn, take us out."
Crais was too shell-shocked even to care that Crichton was giving orders.
***
It was four arns before Raylani told anyone she was in labour. It wasn't so bad to start off with and she ignored it, trying to convince herself that it hadn't started yet. She was suddenly terrified of giving birth, and miserable that Crichton still wasn't back. Struggling to lift her heavy frame out of bed, she moved slowly across the landing to Alainya and Valen's bedroom and knocked. One look when she opened the door told Alainya everything she needed to know.
"Come on," she said, leading Raylani back to her bed. "It won't be long now."