"Metropolis Confidential"
by Viv
From: Chloe Sullivan csullivan@metu.edu
To: Lana llang@metu.edu
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 12:01 AM ET
Subject: Need your opinion STAT
LL!
I am so in need of your wise girlie counsel right now. Where is my faithful room mate when I most need her? Back in Smallville! Argh! You do this just to torture the living daylights out of me! So what if you wanted to spend the summer at the one and only home you've ever known? You should be here, counselling me in my hour of need, 'cause I need your sense, and I'm not making any!!!
Okay, I admit that was a bit too self-centred of me. But you know, in the Chloe universe it's all about me. Chloe. 'Cause that's my name.
I am having a crisis - of the male variety. And just so you know, I'm also on my 8th cup of coffee, and I'm beginning to suspect that it's actually physically possible to overdose on caffeine. Because it could be happening to me right now and I'll end up at Metropolis General with an IV drip and one of those stomach pumps, which I've heard are really very painful 'cause they pump charcoal into you and ...
So by now you're probably screaming at the blinking screen, yelling 'just get on with the exposition Chloe!'. Or knowing you, it'd be more 'oh brother, not again. And also, take a breath'. Oh well. At least you're not actually here, listening to me. Thank your God for small blessings.
Okay. Enough small email talk. Down to business. The business of - Lex Luthor.
Oh god. I actually said it. I actually said it, out loud and unabridged to another human being for the first time ever. And instead of feeling liberated, I just really, really foolish.
Goddamnit, I don't know how things got to be this way with me! One minute I was all, wow, aren't the lights in Metropolis so much brighter than they are at Smallville, and the next minute I've unwittingly hopped onto the Lex Appreciation Train from hell. Not that appreciating Lex isn't all that unpleasant, it's just ... well, he's not exactly of the available variety is he? I mean, we've always been friends and all, but he's seen me pull all sorts of wackies, and besides, he probably still thinks of me as the sweet little innocent Chloe from our Smallville High days. Not to mention the fact that he's one of the most eligible bachelors in the world (at least, according to People - quality publication that it is!) and rich enough to buy several third world countries and outfit them with enough food and technology to change them into developed countries - which is to say, that there is no way in all seven circles of hell that he'd even be remotely interested in me.
But he's got such clear blue eyes and that little crooked turn on his mouth when he's just about to smile or when he's trying really hard not to smile but it kinda shows anyway. Not to mention the blindingly obvious fact that he's intelligent and witty, and I have a sneaking suspicion that you're now laughing so hard your sides are going to split, so I'll stop embarrassing myself now.
Did I mention the fact that I feel really foolish right now?
Oh god, oh god. I'm hyperventilating. This is so not of the good. Help me! Help me oh wise mentor! What should I do? What can I do? What do I want to do? There are so many thoughts whirling around inside me at the moment that I think I'm going to explode. Wouldn't that be a sight? Not that you'd really miss my stark raving lunatic-ness all that much, but just think of the huge clean up you'd have to do if I actually exploded and left Chloe bits everywhere.
Which is the most pleasant thought to leave you with, isn't it? Please, please email me, or call me, soon!
C
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From: Lex BaldLex@aol.com
To: Clark ckent@metu.edu
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 1:00 AM ET
Subject: (no subject)
So Clark, I don't have much time since I'm on my way to a video conference downtown, but there's something that's been driving me crazy all day. And when you're the head of one of the largest multinationals in the world, being driven crazy can have far reaching and very unpleasant ramifications.
By the way, how have you been?
Okay, back to the issue at hand. The reason that I've been feeling this way - which is to say, that I've felt that I'm being driven crazy by a very hard task master is - I might as well confess it - a woman.
Yes, laugh all you want, farm boy. Get it all out of your system. I'm a patient man.
Have you quite finished now? This ... woman. I'm afraid there's more to the story than that. You may well be sniggering oh-so-obviously over the fact that Lex Luthor has at last fallen foul of that horrid condition called 'infatuation with a woman', but before you actually die from laughing, you should at least hear the rest of the sordid tale.
Actually, there really isn't all that much sordidness to it. Which is a pity really because with this woman ... sordidness would probably be a good experience.
But I digress. This woman - I might as well just come right out and say it.
It's Chloe. Chloe Sullivan. Intern at the Daily Planet, alumi of Smallville High.
That's all I really had to say.
- Lex
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From: Clark Kent ckent@metu.edu
To: Lex baldlex@aol.com
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 1.30AM ET
Subject: Re: (no subject)
Chloe?! ?!
Did I read right Lex? Chloe? You're in love with Chloe? My Chloe?
I need to lie down.
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From: Lex BaldLex@aol.com
To: Clark ckent@metu.edu
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 1:32AM ET
Subject: Re: (no subject)
Clark,
And? What, did you forget how to string two words together to form an actual sentence?
Just so that we're clear on the technicalities, I am not in love with Chloe. At least, not yet.
But since we're on the topic - what's the verdict? Am I crazy or crazier? Has running my father's company finally made me - and I'll say it again - crazy?
By the way, do you have a problem with this? Because if you do, please tell me. As I've said many times before, I don't want anything to ruin our friendship.
- Lex
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From: Clark Kent ckent@metu.edu
To: Lex baldlex@aol.com
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 1.37AM ET
Subject: Re: (no subject)
Sorry if I freaked out on you Lex. It's just that - I'm freaked. I'm officially freaked out.
Just for the record though, no, I don't have a problem with this. I'm fine. Me and Chloe were ... well, we weren't very good together were we? You were there when the fireworks and nuclear explosions tore us apart. And to coin a very cheesy cliche, it's all water under the bridge anyway. So to reiterate - no, I don't think I' have a problem.
But are you sure about this Lex? I mean, I'm not judging or anything, but you do seem to go out with a lot of women. I know Chloe, and she wouldn't want to just have a fling. That is, if she really liked you, which I wouldn't know. I'm not sure you're really her type.
If you want, I could try to find out from Lana tomorrow. I'm pretty sure they talk pretty often. But I can't promise anything, okay?
Clark
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From: Lex BaldLex@aol.com
To: Clark ckent@metu.edu
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 1:45AM ET
Subject: Re: (no subject)
Clark,
Please do. As I said - going crazy.
Let me know what you find out. I should be back and fully rested tomorrow night after 10.
- Lex
(c) September 2002