Disclaimer: As we all know, Tolkien owns all things Middle Earth. I am
merely borrowing from the estate, and they are welcome to borrow from mine
(though they'll find it amounts to a fancy letter opener and hand lotion).
Chapter 7 - The Third Ball - Part II
Still leaning against him, Talariel stiffened in his arms. Staring straight ahead, his words caused the blood in her head to roar, drowning out anything he would say next. Her heart beat hard and fast, and a frown formed on her face. Her shock was great, and she reacted without thought.
She wrenched out of his grasp and walked to the other end of the gazebo. She gripped the rail and fought to find some calm within herself. His words played over and over in her mind and her heart sang. But her mind was in a whirlwind of confusion and not a small bit of fear.
Legolas watched her reaction and frowned with confusion. He had thought that he had handled the situation as well as he possibly could. He had expected her to relax in his arms and kiss him passionately when he admitted his love for her. He had expected her to admit her feelings for him. He had expected any number of outcomes save the one that was occurring.
Wondering what she was thinking, he was at a loss to know what to do next. He could not see her face, therefore was unable to gauge her thoughts. Wanting to reassure her and to hear her declare herself for him, he began to approach her again.
"Stop, Legolas. Do not come any closer to me right now.", said Talariel, halting him in his tracks.
Legolas froze to the floor. His frown deepened. "What is it, Talariel? What are you thinking?", he asked.
Talariel raised her hand to her face, noticing consciously that he had very definitely removed her mask. She noticed her hand shaking a bit and realized how incredibly nervous she was feeling. She sighed deeply and whispered, "How... I mean, when did you know?"
"Last night. After you left the balcony...", he trailed off, both of them remembering their shared passion the night before. "Father told me."
"And yet you said nothing to me all day.", she accused, angry and surprised that he had known and said nothing.
Her comment infuriated him. He crossed the rest of the gazebo and grabbed Talariel, turning her to face him. "I said nothing?! I have spent the last day in a torrent of confusion because you said nothing to me for days. Why didn't you say anything?", he bit out.
Talariel met his angry gaze with one of her own. How many times they had fought like this in the past, one couldn't count. Always it happened when their emotions for each other surfaced. That he had just admitted his love for her was only the first barrier down of many that they had built up unconsciously over the many years of their friendship. Had Flordin or Maluil been there to watch them, they would have rolled their eyes at the instinctive stubbornness of the two of them.
Talariel met Legolas's angry gaze with one of her own. "Oh, what does it matter now why I did not say anything?", she spat.
"Because I just declared myself to you! Does that mean nothing to you?"
"You expect me to believe that in three days you just realized your undying love for me like that?", she asked as she snapped her fingers for effect.
"Yes!", he yelled.
"I see. And what of my feelings?"
"Your feelings?! I do not see that you have any, my lady.", he said, sneering. He was livid that she was reacting so unexpectedly. Hurt that she did not believe him after taking such care with her heart, and the words just stumbled out of his mouth. He regretted them as soon as they were said. He knew that what he said was untrue, knew in his heart that she loved him as much as he loved her.
Talariel winced as though he had struck her. She had no idea why they were fighting. She had been very confused and shocked by his admission, and it was very difficult to believe that he meant what he said. He had been away for centuries. He had left without looking back once, leaving her behind to deal with her newly realized emotions. She had spent all that time attempting to put her feelings aside and move on, but always there was the hopeful fantasy that he would return. She had never thought of what would happen if he did, because she did not truly believe he would actually come home. When she received word of his return, she never even dreamed that he would love her.
For so long she had to cope with the fact that he left Middle Earth, that he left her behind without a thought. She couldn't imagine that he meant what he said because everything she had seen and known about him before indicated his utter lack of feeling for her. To hear him say that he loved her was unfathomable to her. Now, after claiming he loved her, that he insulted her only further exacerbated her disbelief.
She knew he said it out of anger. They had both said things to each other in the past, during fights, that neither meant. She knew he did not mean what he said, but it still hurt.
Legolas saw her face fall with his words and wanted to hit himself. He had come out here to calm her, soften her with words, admit his feelings and then take her back to his rooms where they would make love all night. By not realizing and expecting his admission to be a surprise that Talariel would have to absorb, he managed to ruin his every good intention.
He groaned, his shoulders sagging with his guilt, and reached for her. "Talariel, bain'alphamin. I am sorry. I did not mean it.", he said grasping one of her shoulders, pulling her to him.
Talariel pulled out of his grasp softly, afraid of her reaction to being in his arms, and said, "I know you did not. I do not know why we are fighting. I... I just do not know what to say or think or do, Legolas. Truly, I am sorry for deceiving you these past days. I did not mean to hurt you either."
"I know you did not, but why didn't you tell me who you were?", he asked plaintively.
"I was afraid.", she admitted in barely a whisper.
"Afraid? Of what?", he asked softly.
"Of having my heart broken again. That you would leave me behind for good this time if you knew who I was."
Legolas sighed and firmly pulled her to him, not letting her out of his embrace this time. He tilted her face up and kissed her forehead. His eyes met hers. He saw her fear and hurt clear in her eyes, and said, "I never left you, Talariel. I left home. And I did not know I hurt you. I will endeavor to never hurt you again."
He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers lightly. "I love you, Talariel.", he whispered and kissed her.
As he kissed her, Talariel's heart sung with joy and her body began to respond to him. But her mind still disbelieved. She had loved him with caution for too long to simply let all her defenses go so quickly. She pulled back from him, breaking their kiss.
She took a deep breath to steady herself and looked into his eyes. She saw only that he believed what he said to her, that he was not lying or teasing her. She reached up and traced the side of his face lovingly, the way she always imagined she would. A wistful smile played on her face when she realized what she was doing.
"Legolas, I want to believe your feelings are true, with all my heart I want this. But I do not. I cannot. I have loved you for longer than I can remember. If I came to your bed and you realized later that your feelings for me were not love, neither our friendship nor my heart would not survive it. I would rather we stay friends.", she said.
Her words hurt his pride, but he understood that she needed time. And perhaps she was also right that he needed time as well. He sighed and said, "Then allow me to prove myself to you. At least give me this. For I fear my heart will not survive it if I had no hope of winning you. I know you do not believe me now, but my feelings are true. I came back for you, bain'alphamin. Let me show you."
Talariel saw how earnest he was, and gave him a small encouraging smile. Though she was worried it would be all for naught, she would indulge him, as well as herself, his request.
"Alright, Legolas. Let us see what happens with time.", she said. She caressed his face once more, leaned up and kissed his cheek, then said, "Goodnight. And thank you for not being too angry with me."
He smiled back at her, relieved that she would allow him to court her. "I was never angry with you, Talariel. And you can be certain that I will win you yet.", he answered with a wink, before bidding her a goodnight.
He watched her walk back somewhat regretfully. Though he would rather they had ended up in his rooms, he could not complain about their mutual understanding. A smile crept up his face as he imagined all the ways he would woo her. He had wasted far too much time and determined to being winning her trust the very next morning.
*****
I humbly apologize for how long it took to get this chapter up. Seems my muse decided to fill my head with many other plots and only recently let me get back into the head-space for this story. I will endeavor to update this more frequently.
In the meantime, kindly review and encourage me!! =)
Chapter 7 - The Third Ball - Part II
Still leaning against him, Talariel stiffened in his arms. Staring straight ahead, his words caused the blood in her head to roar, drowning out anything he would say next. Her heart beat hard and fast, and a frown formed on her face. Her shock was great, and she reacted without thought.
She wrenched out of his grasp and walked to the other end of the gazebo. She gripped the rail and fought to find some calm within herself. His words played over and over in her mind and her heart sang. But her mind was in a whirlwind of confusion and not a small bit of fear.
Legolas watched her reaction and frowned with confusion. He had thought that he had handled the situation as well as he possibly could. He had expected her to relax in his arms and kiss him passionately when he admitted his love for her. He had expected her to admit her feelings for him. He had expected any number of outcomes save the one that was occurring.
Wondering what she was thinking, he was at a loss to know what to do next. He could not see her face, therefore was unable to gauge her thoughts. Wanting to reassure her and to hear her declare herself for him, he began to approach her again.
"Stop, Legolas. Do not come any closer to me right now.", said Talariel, halting him in his tracks.
Legolas froze to the floor. His frown deepened. "What is it, Talariel? What are you thinking?", he asked.
Talariel raised her hand to her face, noticing consciously that he had very definitely removed her mask. She noticed her hand shaking a bit and realized how incredibly nervous she was feeling. She sighed deeply and whispered, "How... I mean, when did you know?"
"Last night. After you left the balcony...", he trailed off, both of them remembering their shared passion the night before. "Father told me."
"And yet you said nothing to me all day.", she accused, angry and surprised that he had known and said nothing.
Her comment infuriated him. He crossed the rest of the gazebo and grabbed Talariel, turning her to face him. "I said nothing?! I have spent the last day in a torrent of confusion because you said nothing to me for days. Why didn't you say anything?", he bit out.
Talariel met his angry gaze with one of her own. How many times they had fought like this in the past, one couldn't count. Always it happened when their emotions for each other surfaced. That he had just admitted his love for her was only the first barrier down of many that they had built up unconsciously over the many years of their friendship. Had Flordin or Maluil been there to watch them, they would have rolled their eyes at the instinctive stubbornness of the two of them.
Talariel met Legolas's angry gaze with one of her own. "Oh, what does it matter now why I did not say anything?", she spat.
"Because I just declared myself to you! Does that mean nothing to you?"
"You expect me to believe that in three days you just realized your undying love for me like that?", she asked as she snapped her fingers for effect.
"Yes!", he yelled.
"I see. And what of my feelings?"
"Your feelings?! I do not see that you have any, my lady.", he said, sneering. He was livid that she was reacting so unexpectedly. Hurt that she did not believe him after taking such care with her heart, and the words just stumbled out of his mouth. He regretted them as soon as they were said. He knew that what he said was untrue, knew in his heart that she loved him as much as he loved her.
Talariel winced as though he had struck her. She had no idea why they were fighting. She had been very confused and shocked by his admission, and it was very difficult to believe that he meant what he said. He had been away for centuries. He had left without looking back once, leaving her behind to deal with her newly realized emotions. She had spent all that time attempting to put her feelings aside and move on, but always there was the hopeful fantasy that he would return. She had never thought of what would happen if he did, because she did not truly believe he would actually come home. When she received word of his return, she never even dreamed that he would love her.
For so long she had to cope with the fact that he left Middle Earth, that he left her behind without a thought. She couldn't imagine that he meant what he said because everything she had seen and known about him before indicated his utter lack of feeling for her. To hear him say that he loved her was unfathomable to her. Now, after claiming he loved her, that he insulted her only further exacerbated her disbelief.
She knew he said it out of anger. They had both said things to each other in the past, during fights, that neither meant. She knew he did not mean what he said, but it still hurt.
Legolas saw her face fall with his words and wanted to hit himself. He had come out here to calm her, soften her with words, admit his feelings and then take her back to his rooms where they would make love all night. By not realizing and expecting his admission to be a surprise that Talariel would have to absorb, he managed to ruin his every good intention.
He groaned, his shoulders sagging with his guilt, and reached for her. "Talariel, bain'alphamin. I am sorry. I did not mean it.", he said grasping one of her shoulders, pulling her to him.
Talariel pulled out of his grasp softly, afraid of her reaction to being in his arms, and said, "I know you did not. I do not know why we are fighting. I... I just do not know what to say or think or do, Legolas. Truly, I am sorry for deceiving you these past days. I did not mean to hurt you either."
"I know you did not, but why didn't you tell me who you were?", he asked plaintively.
"I was afraid.", she admitted in barely a whisper.
"Afraid? Of what?", he asked softly.
"Of having my heart broken again. That you would leave me behind for good this time if you knew who I was."
Legolas sighed and firmly pulled her to him, not letting her out of his embrace this time. He tilted her face up and kissed her forehead. His eyes met hers. He saw her fear and hurt clear in her eyes, and said, "I never left you, Talariel. I left home. And I did not know I hurt you. I will endeavor to never hurt you again."
He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers lightly. "I love you, Talariel.", he whispered and kissed her.
As he kissed her, Talariel's heart sung with joy and her body began to respond to him. But her mind still disbelieved. She had loved him with caution for too long to simply let all her defenses go so quickly. She pulled back from him, breaking their kiss.
She took a deep breath to steady herself and looked into his eyes. She saw only that he believed what he said to her, that he was not lying or teasing her. She reached up and traced the side of his face lovingly, the way she always imagined she would. A wistful smile played on her face when she realized what she was doing.
"Legolas, I want to believe your feelings are true, with all my heart I want this. But I do not. I cannot. I have loved you for longer than I can remember. If I came to your bed and you realized later that your feelings for me were not love, neither our friendship nor my heart would not survive it. I would rather we stay friends.", she said.
Her words hurt his pride, but he understood that she needed time. And perhaps she was also right that he needed time as well. He sighed and said, "Then allow me to prove myself to you. At least give me this. For I fear my heart will not survive it if I had no hope of winning you. I know you do not believe me now, but my feelings are true. I came back for you, bain'alphamin. Let me show you."
Talariel saw how earnest he was, and gave him a small encouraging smile. Though she was worried it would be all for naught, she would indulge him, as well as herself, his request.
"Alright, Legolas. Let us see what happens with time.", she said. She caressed his face once more, leaned up and kissed his cheek, then said, "Goodnight. And thank you for not being too angry with me."
He smiled back at her, relieved that she would allow him to court her. "I was never angry with you, Talariel. And you can be certain that I will win you yet.", he answered with a wink, before bidding her a goodnight.
He watched her walk back somewhat regretfully. Though he would rather they had ended up in his rooms, he could not complain about their mutual understanding. A smile crept up his face as he imagined all the ways he would woo her. He had wasted far too much time and determined to being winning her trust the very next morning.
*****
I humbly apologize for how long it took to get this chapter up. Seems my muse decided to fill my head with many other plots and only recently let me get back into the head-space for this story. I will endeavor to update this more frequently.
In the meantime, kindly review and encourage me!! =)