TITLE: A New Addition

AUTHOR: Dreamcatcher

EMAIL: peacejaw@yahoo.com

RATING: PG

SPOILERS: The series itself

ARCHIVE: Fanfiction.net Only!

DISCLAIMER: ER and its characters are copyright Warner Bros. Entertainment, Amblin Television, and Michael Crichton. No infringement is intended. This original piece of fan fiction is being written for entertainment purposes only, and I am gaining no monetary compensation for it.

This is a work of fiction. All characters and places discussed are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or actual places and locations, is purely coincidental.

SUMMARY: Rachel's adjustment to Mark's death –Part 3

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It's kind of hard to believe that it's Thanksgiving already. Most of the time has gone by rather quickly, despite some hardships along the way. God, it's only been six months since daddy died… and only four since I moved in with Elizabeth. The pain and grief from daddy's death is still so raw and quite frankly, painful. Still, the world has moved on and there aren't that many people that know how bad I hurt.

I think Elizabeth has some idea, but she has been too distracted with her own grief and life to really work with me in dealing with it. Plus her hormones really have made her life… and mine… a living nightmare at times. Still, I sense she actually wants to. Maybe down the road we can work on our grief and pain, but not right now.

Mom asks how I am doing, but I know she doesn't really want to know… except to find out whether I have been in any more trouble or not. Thankfully I have not been, except for a few minor things –like grades, phone and computer usage. At school I pretty much have quit hanging around with the deadbeats that have access to drugs and alcohol. However, most of the other kids don't want to hang around with me. Maybe in time they will.

Not that it matters, but mom's jackass for a husband doesn't bother to acknowledge me what so ever… not that I really acknowledge him. He truly is a jerk. I can't believe mom is still with the asshole. I mean, come on… he drinks, he's verbally and physically abusive with mom and I both (when I am with them at all)… and it gets worse when he drinks. It gets so bad that I won't stay over night with either of them… and they have to visit Chicago because I will not visit St. Louis.

Living with Elizabeth these last four months hasn't been easy, although it's a lot better than living with mom and her husband. I know living with Elizabeth has been one of the best choices I've ever made… and I am almost certain that mom knows that as well. She's given Elizabeth complete guardianship over me… and I am so glad. The only thing mom wants is to have visitation rights with me. Elizabeth has agreed to it… only requesting child support and that they visited with us instead of the other way around. And that's how I ended up here on a permanent basis… one that I'm pretty happy with.

At least I am working to keep my promise to daddy. Mind you it hasn't been easy, but at least I am making the effort. I think he would be proud of me if he were still here. At night when I say my prayers, I always send an extra note to daddy telling him that I love him and to watch over our family… plus I tell him all my secrets.

There are plenty of those… secrets that is. I've made some progress in that department. I've been opening up more in the therapy sessions that I still go to. Elizabeth found me a great therapist and a great support group for me to attend each week. At first I didn't make things easy for anyone, especially the therapist… but she hung in there and last month we made a small connection with each other. Because of that, I have been able to start opening up with her… which has allowed me to express all of my emotions, not just the anger. The anger is still a problem, but nothing like it was. Elizabeth and the therapist both have been able to start to identify the different types of anger in me… like the sad anger, the frustrated anger, or the plain old anger… which is a good thing. Maybe one of these days I can start to really open up with Elizabeth. That's my one big hope with all this.

The new baby wasn't due for another week, but it decided that it wanted to be born today –Thanksgiving Day. Elizabeth went into labor late this morning and we immediately left for the hospital. Since then, Ella and I have been waiting in the waiting room for the new addition to our lives.  It hasn't been easy to keep Ella under control, but she's been fairly good all things considered.

Thankfully we had our thanksgiving dinner last night so that I could spend some time with mom tonight. When Elizabeth went into labor, I called mom and told her that I wouldn't be available to spend time with her because someone had to watch Ella… and since mom's husband doesn't like young children, it wouldn't work out. Mom understood, but she has ended up waiting with Ella and I here in the waiting room.

Dr. Lewis and Dr. Carter are both up here as well… and I suspect that Susan will stay the longest. She has been one of my good friends –one of the only true friends that I have. I know she's become good friends with Elizabeth as well. I suspect that when Elizabeth and the new baby go home, Susan will be around a lot helping out. That's a good thing.

Thankfully school and Ella's daycare isn't too far away from our house… which means I can walk to and from school and pick up Ella with ease.  Usually I only pick Ella up from daycare on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but I suspect that it may pick up over the next week or two… that is until Elizabeth and the new baby can fall into a new routine. We'll have to see, though.

Ella has now fallen asleep in my lap. I'm not surprised… she missed her afternoon nap. She was too excited to sleep. That's okay… she should sleep through the night now… which will make things a little easier for me. I want to get up and pace, but I can't with Ella on my lap.

After checking the clock one last time, Elizabeth's nurse finally walked through the door with a smile on her face. That means that the new baby has arrived… so our little group gathers up our possessions and follow the nurse to where Elizabeth and the new baby are.

One look at the little tike and I can see where he gets his good looks. He looks like daddy. Elizabeth asked if I had a special name that I want to give the baby. Me? Give the baby a name? There's only one I want: Mark Eli Greene. Elizabeth seems to like it… she says it suits him just fine.

Elizabeth lets me hold Mark… and he is so cute! It's hard to believe these babies can be so small when they are born. This one is just perfect! I already feel a deep love and protection for this little one… like I am with Ella. I look at Elizabeth to see what she is doing and she is smiling at me. I think she is starting to see me in a new light.

After awhile, Elizabeth asks Susan to take Ella and I home so that Ella can be put to bed… and she agrees. We say our goodbyes and head out the door and mom and John go their separate ways. I know Elizabeth and Mark will be home on Saturday morning, so that gives me time to plan a little something for them… kind of as a welcome home thing. It will have to be small though… and Susan will be there because Susan will bring them home.  I suspect having Susan around helping out is going to be a blessing!

At any rate, all our lives have changed once again… and I think that I can actually begin to really hope… hope that we will be okay… hope that I can finish putting my life together… hope that I actually have a future worth living… and hope that we can be a family. Thank God I have one to belong to! I don't think I could make it otherwise!

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TBC