-From the Office of Saisyu Kusanagi
By: Kairi Taylor
Disclaimer: No. Saisyu is copyright of Playmore (aka SNK).
Good evening readers. I am Saisyu Kusanagi, father of Kyo & master of the Kusanagi style of martial arts. I thank you for once again reading my online articles & making them a success. Now, let us address a few issues for this week.
1: Despite some inane rambling, I have never had ANY sort of sexual relations with either Mature or Vice while under the employ of Rugal. Nor did I engage in any deviant desires with both of them at the same time. They were just rumors started by a very immature dojo master. (I'll get you for that Dan!) Yes, I know, they seem to have some very tempting Orochi racks, but damnit, that Vice woman is just plain freaky.
2. Several of us KOF fighters were rather…miffed at our exclusion from the CvS series. I was fairly certain that a team as well respected & idolized as the Ikari team would have easily made it into the game, but it seemed the corporate bigwigs had other ideas. Well, I have an idea myself…which involves going into their offices & showing them first hand some of the more 'advanced' techniques I have. All of which involve fire, my foot & a huge target on their asses.
3. For the love of Christ, I wish some of these ladies would leave poor little Bao alone! Look, think what you will, but don't take 'Athena & Friends '99' seriously. There ARE laws against this kinda thing. Besides, the whole experience has already warped his little mind. I also pity Chris…damn that was just fucked up.
4. I recently received a letter from a concerned contributor who asked what he can do about pop up ads. His pop up ad blocker won't work & he believes there is a huge conspiracy to subjugate the planet into pop up ad anarchy. Well, guess what…HE'S RIGHT!!!! Turns out that NESTS had this early idea to constantly flood the internet with annoying pop up ads that came at the most inconvience of times (especially during those 'adult fun time' sessions). They would sell ad blockers that would only work half the time. Interpol eventually got wind of this but the damage was done. On a side note, a signature was found on a document ordering this operation to hasten. It was signed by a 'B. Gates'. Coincidence? I think not.
5. For the last time, Ryu's last name is NOT Hoshi. Never take that goddamned movie seriously.
That's all for this week. Come back next week when I compare the humor of 8-bit Theater & Penny Arcade. Until next time….
PS: Can someone get me the email address of Dark Poot? I have a few…suggestions for 'Missingno Insanity….
(The door is broken down as The Author Formerly Known as Heero Yuy Z rushes in.)
TAFKAHYZ: Where is the Gar' En?
Saisyu: You mean Dark Poot? Try the other jump gate.