Alucard awoke with a start, once again finding himself dazed and unaware of his surroundings. This time, however, he was in the darkness, and he could tell by the intense smell of human blood that he was not alone.

After a few moments, it struck him. He was in the hotel room, and he had fallen asleep like he'd promised himself he wouldn't! Now he'd never get back to sleep, and he'd have to wrestle with himself for possibly hours...He didn't know the exact time of night, because the room was pitch dark and isolated from the stars. Alucard rubbed his eyes, knowing that in a few minutes they would adjust enough to the dark for him to see around. He could only smell an overwhelming amount of human bodies; he was unable to distinguish the number.

Alucard frowned in the darkness, trying to remember what had caused him to jerk awake. He had not been dreaming as far as he could remember, and had not even remembered falling asleep. He had been staring at the ceiling, at every water stain and knothole in the rough wood, when he had apparently been overcome...He had remembered lying on top of the blanket, but now he found himself tucked under it, as if someone had relocated him.

He must really have been asleep to not notice that. He was usually a light sleeper, not by nature, but because of the tormented nightmares that usually came to him in sleep. He was awoken frequently by these, and as a result did not allow himself to get too deep into sleep in the first place, because he unconsciously knew that he would simply be awakened. Oddly, this did not help, because Alucard found his most vivid and realistic dreams came to him in the state somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness, with the vague realization that the dreams were merely dreams, but which did not take away from their impact.

Still, though, if he hadn't even noticed being picked up and resettled...The lack of sleep, combined with the incredible stress of recent events, must finally have caught up with him.

Yet now, at who knew what hour, he was wide awake. And he had to endure the rest of the night. Here. With humans. Who he knew were delicious...

At that moment, Alucard realized why he had been awakened.

Somewhere near him, off to his left, he heard a piteous sound, a combination of a whine and a moan. It severely startled him, causing him to sit up and look around in alarm. He could see the other bed from his vantage point, and his eyes, adjusting to the darkness, aided by his vampire blood, could see the outlines of three bodies. Maria and Nayra had apparently come back in. It really must be late. The scent of the blood was almost maddening...

The sound hadn't been a female voice, Alucard realized after replaying it in his head for a few seconds.

Then, suddenly, instantaneously, he remembered Sei. He whirled around, staring at the figure he realized was lying next to him in bed.

Upon doing so, he realized Sei was indeed the one who had cried out.

The boy was curled into a ball, and had shoved off his covers yet was shivering terribly. Alucard couldn't tell whether it was because of cold (even though the day had been swelteringly hot, for some reason the temperature had dropped to freezing under cover of darkness) or fear, because Sei was obviously having some sort of nightmare. He writhed around under the covers, sweat standing out on his forehead.

Wanting to ease Sei's pain, and also afraid he'd wake up the others by crying out again, Alucard placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Sei?" he hissed, trying not to wake anyone up. "Wake up, you're just having a dream." He shook the boy's shoulder slightly. Either the words or the action succeeded, and Sei's eyes fluttered open. He stared blankly, his eyes still containing a look of terror. The glow that emanated from him, easily visible in the blackness, seemed to flicker sporadically. Alucard's heightened nocturnal senses were able to register all of this discomfort, and he rubbed Sei's shoulder softly. "Do not worry, you were only dreaming."

Sei looked embarrassed. "Sorry, sir," he muttered. "I have that nightmare a lot."

Then, he suddenly stiffened, as if paralyzed with fear.

"You're..." he trailed off, apparently terror-stricken. "You're...his son, aren't you?"

"Whose son?" replied Alucard, having a feeling he knew the answer.

"...Dracula..."

"What makes you think that?" Alucard knew that pretending to be innocent was a losing battle. Sei had somehow recognized him, although he had no idea how.

"He...used to talk of having a son..." Sei looked incredibly ashamed. "You have his eyes."

"I suppose there is no sense in hiding," sighed Alucard. "Yes, I am," he admitted, knowing that lying to the strange boy would only bring trouble. He felt the accursed bloodlust stirring again, but he forced it away, "How did you know my father?"

That was obviously the wrong question to ask. Sei's eyes closed, and he seemed to unconsciously curl up.

"It doesn't matter," he murmured. He said nothing else, apparently feeling like he had said too much already. Alucard was genuinely curious, but he realized that it was a tender subject for the boy and he had no desire to upset him further, as he was obviously already greatly troubled.

Alucard was still fascinated by the gray-white aura that shone from the boy's skin, creating a strange glow around him. It did not collect around his head as a halo would, but rather surrounded his whole body. Alucard couldn't help wondering about his nature: was he really a ghost? But he couldn't be, for he possessed a human body...

Sei's eyes gradually opened again. His eyes were filled with a strange torment, which Alucard noticed but felt powerless to aid. After a few moments, the boy began shaking again, and he took several shuddering breaths.

"This reminds me of...You remind me of..." He was obviously reliving terrifying, horrible memories before his eyes, because his blank, vague stare and tormented eyes were an open window into his inner pain.

"What?" Alucard asked softly. He had a feeling that speaking to the boy softly, and reassuring him constantly, was probably the only way approach him. However, this did not have the effect he had anticipated. The boy whimpered softly, and, to Alucard's surprise, actually began crying. He made no sound as he did so, allowing the tears to run silently down, collecting in his ear as he pressed his face sideways against the makeshift pillow.

"It was so painful and so scary...But it wasn't straw, it was silk..."

"What are you talking about?" Alucard managed to keep the curiousity out of his voice, because he had a feeling that knowing would only make the situation worse.

Sei suddenly looked at him directly. "You're hungry, aren't you, sir? You're thirsty. Thirsty for the one thing that will sate you. Even if you deny it, I know you are."

Alucard's concern for Sei had managed to override the sensations that clawed at him, but they had gradually been returning, and as soon as Sei mentioned the desire, it blossomed out of control again.

Alucard gritted his teeth, pathetically trying to hold back his urges.

"Yes..." He wasn't sure why he felt a desire to be honest with this boy. Somehow, he just sensed that there was no point to lying, because he seemed to know everything anyway. Maybe one acquired some degree of omniscience after death. Whatever the reason, Alucard knew that lying to Sei would serve no purpose.

"You can..." Sei trailed off, obviously in pain. "You can take me, sir."

"What?" This time Alucard could not keep the surprise out of his voice. Nobody had ever volunteered as a sacrifice, and although Alucard was going almost insane with desire, he did not want to hurt Sei. Just like he hadn't wanted to hurt Mori.

"I can't die." It was a statement delivered without a trace of doubt. "Please, Alucard. I know how badly you want it. You'll feel better afterwards..."

"What will happen to you if I did, though?"

"Nothing will happen to me, sir. I'll pass out. I'll wake up in the morning, just like normal."

"Are you sure?" Alucard, despite his doubts, was struggling with his desires like a man struggling with a full-grown lion. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to just grab the boy and sink his teeth into his inviting flesh, to drink of that which would restore him to full physical and mental health...

"Of course I'm sure, sir. This isn't the first time this has happened to me."

At that moment, Alucard finally lost the struggle. The thought of having a willing victim, the knowledge that he would not be killing him, and the simple fact that he hadn't fed in so long caused him to lose control over himself. In his mad lust, the statement was disregarded completely, and would not be thought over again for quite a long time.

Distantly, the thoughts sounding as if they were coming from another place, another time, Alucard cursed himself bitterly for his roughness as he pushed the boy's head to the side, exposing Sei's neck, the pale, glowing gray skin and the blissful carotid artery which ran underneath..carrying that fluid which embodied life itself, which could be passed from one to another to sustain either one..

Alucard scraped his teeth against Sei's neck, delighting in the torment waiting inflicted on him, the anticipation growing with every nanosecond, until he was finally, truly, out of his control....

He plunged his teeth downward, driving through flesh until he tasted that bliss, that hot, incredible lifestream, that warmed him, energized him, surged through him, replenished his life and energy, caused his entire body to literally shake with pleasure as he finally indulged that which he had dreamed of for so long...Every second added to the bliss, and with each moment he could not understand how he could possibly have been satisfied with the one before it...it had certainly been worth waiting if only for this, the moment when he finally put his abstinence to and end, the moment when he allowed himself to fall prey to his desires..it was all worth it, so worth it...it was eternal bliss, in the eternity of a moment he was trapped in forever and for no time at all...this is what he was made for, what he lived for, what he thrived on...it was so incredible, and it increased exponentially with each passing second...

Then, just as quickly, it was over.

He wasn't sure what internal signal told him to stop, what drove him to cease the bliss of feeding, but something did, and he instantly jerked out of his ecstasy, and lay there, panting, the tips of his teeth still coated in blood...Sei lay, his eyes shut tight. Alucard couldn't tell if he was conscious or not...

Just then, the full impact of what he had done hit Alucard.

How could he have? How COULD he have? He was the most monstrous being that had ever existed! How could he have done that! Sei had been scared, had been terrified of something, and instead of trying to comfort him – seriously, anyway, and for more than a few seconds – Alucard had probably added to his terror by draining his very life! What would Sei think of him now? He'd think he was just like his father, cruel, bloodthirsty, evil! And he was, wasn't he? He had half his genes, and they manifested themselves as truly as they would had he been a full-blood vampire. He was just as monstrous, just as incapable of using reason. That had been the WORST possible time to feed, and yet he had done it anyway, just like an animal, like a monster! The blood, which he had so greedily delighted in just a few moments ago, made him feel sick as it sat heavily in his stomach. He wished he could somehow return it..

Alucard sank back onto his pillow, self-hatred welling up and exploding. Now Sei was going to be terrified of him, and once everyone else found out, they would be too. Did he have any chance left with Mori? Probably not. Once she found out, she'd realize that she had almost been his victim the previous night...and then, from there, it was obvious as to what would happen..

Alucard raised his fist helplessly, letting it silently drop back onto the scratchy straw bed.

He would never succeed as a man. If only because he was half vampire.

And he would never succeed as a vampire, because he was half man.

Alucard lay there silently, hating Dracula for falling in love with a human, hating his mother for falling in love with a vampire. He hated them both! Why had they given birth to him?

Alucard turned over and buried his face in his pillow, crying softly. He rarely cried, rarely allowed himself to show the emotion, but he was now. For the fact that he was ruining his life, for the fact that his genes and his parentage allowed him no possible course BUT to ruin his life. He hated himself..more than anyone in the world, more even than his parents..

After at least an hour of this, from emotional exhaustion, Alucard finally drifted into a half-sleep. This one, however, was racked with even more nightmares than usual, such as those of someone trusting him completely only to be betrayed in the worst possible sense. Through the haze of sleep, Alucard mentally screamed at himself, wishing he had never been born, as if perhaps he could will himself to disappear.

He knew that would never happen, though.

If he had been born to suffer, so be it.