[mercuryblue_22@hotmail.com]
[courtney@email.ky]
This story is rated PG-13 for language, and sexual references.
--------------------------------------------
Would you dance
If I asked you to dance
Would you run
And never look back
Would you cry
If you saw my crying
Would you save my soul tonight
Would you tremble
If I touched your lips
Would you laugh
Oh please tell me this
Would you die for the one you love
Hold me in your arms tonight
I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away your pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
Would you swear
That you'll always be mine
Would you lie
Would you run and hide
Am I in too deep
Have I lost my mind
I don't care
You're here tonight
I just wanna hold you
~Hero
Enrique Iglesias
--------------------------------------------
Altered State, book one
"Tonight, Tonight"
by Mercury Blue and Fire Goddess Raye
--------------------------------------------
Part Two- The Second Month
Chapter Seven (A)-
Falling Apart
It is said that the only way to rid one's self of a temptation is to
yield to it.
It would seem no one knows this better than our young friends.
Though both Amy and Raye have fought to resist their deepest urges,
neither were able to succeed for very long. Perhaps it was the magic
of the season that weakened their resolve. Or, in Raye's case, perhaps
it was the wine. Either way, both women have now found themselves in
positions they'd swore would never take them. Both must now deal with
the consequences.
For the men, the decisions were far easier to make. The temptation
that much easier to indulge. Darien has told Amy that they will
face her dreams together because, in his eyes, the matter is simple:
he wants to be with her.
In Chad's case, things are more complicated. Though he hasn't
knowledge of the future to hold him back, he *does* have a budding
relationship with Lita. But at what cost? As it happens, his initial
reasons for trying to pull away from Raye have proved false. He'd
seen her with another man and, as he was prone to do, he'd jumped to
irrational conclusions about it. Having spent years trying to catch
her attention (to no avail, it seemed), he'd finally given up hope,
throwing himself blindly into another woman's arms to try and forget
his feelings for Raye. But, as he's only now learned, the 'mystery
man' had only been delivering something. His Christmas gift, no less.
So Chad has lost his only excuse. No longer can he hide behind an
affair with Lita, silently cursing Raye for seeking another man's
attention. He's realized that fate isn't what's kept him from the
woman of his dreams. In fact, it's been his own cowardice.
Well, in vino veritas. There is truth in wine.
Finally, the truth has been revealed. But at what cost?
Only Time will tell.
--------------------------------------------
When Amy woke up on Christmas morning, it was with tears streaming
down her face and a cold chill running down her spine. The dreams had
wasted no time in returning to her, she thought absent-mindedly as she
brought a delicate hand to her breast to help ease her labored
breathing. They hadn't grown any less horrifying, either.
Casting a worried look at her slumbering bed-partner, Amy noted that
he didn't seem the slightest bit bothered by her waking. Rather, he
dozed comfortably on, the rise and fall of his chest relaxed and
steady.
~It hasn't stopped.~ she thought to herself. Not as the she'd
really expected that the nightmares would. Rather, she'd counted on
their return, which only stressed the fact she'd been aware of all
along. They couldn't be together. One amazing night between them
wouldn't change that.
Amy took a moment to study Darien's gentle features, softened in
sleep. Lit by the rising sun, he looked every bit the fallen angel
and her heart twinged with a combination of pure love and agony as the
realization struck her that she couldn't spend the remainder of her
life's mornings with him.
"You're beautiful," she whispered, careful not to wake him as she
brushed a rogue strand of hair from his forehead. Her eyes stung
with the tears she didn't want to cry and she pulled her hand away
quickly, not daring to linger any longer. Such behavior could be
dangerous, she knew. She couldn't allow herself to be pulled in
again.
Drawing a shuddering breath, Amy slid herself from beneath her
bedcovers and stepped out of bed, the winter-touched wooden floor cold
on her bare feet as she walked towards her dresser. It was early yet,
the room still dim with the last traces of night, but she didn't seem
the slightest bit tired as she picked up a comb to untangle her knotted
tresses.
It was time to come out of hiding she decided as she prepared
herself, stepping into the bathroom to perform her standard grooming
rituals. Instinctively, she knew that her emotional involvement with
Darien made it nearly impossible to handle the dream situation on her
own. She was too vulnerable.
But she was also utterly alone in dealing with their relationship,
which had long-since drifted beyond the realm of a simple 'affair'.
She loved him too much to look at the scenario objectively, and knew
after their previous evening's conversation that he was as well. As
much as she hated and feared the idea, Amy knew that she needed to
talk to someone; someone who could help her sort out the mess she'd
gotten herself into. Someone who, with luck, could understand why
she'd done what she had done. Someone who would forgive her.
Raye was the natural choice, of course. In addition to being her
closest friend, Amy sensed that having lived through the experience of
having the man she loved date a close friend would make Raye more
sympathetic to her predicament. At least, she hoped.
How Raye could possibly help her, Amy wasn't sure. Desperation was
driving her to take this chance, however, and she needed to believe
that maybe, just maybe, her friend could help her situation. Perform a
fire-reading perhaps. Or, at the very least, offer her some advice.
~Please be there for me,~ Amy prayed silently as she dressed
herself. ~I could really use your help.~
Hastily, she jotted a note onto a piece of paper telling Darien that
she would be back shortly. Placing it on her pillow, she once again
let her gaze fall on his sleeping face. Taking in the soft curve of
his lips, the sharp triangle of his nose, and the gentle fluttering
eyelids that lay against his cheek, she felt her heart contract in
pain. She forced herself to turn away from him, to stand up and head
for the door. But not before placing a warm kiss on the forehead to
say goodbye.
As she left she cast a final glance at her dozing lover, and smiled
sadly. Uncertainty and dread filled every crevice of her soul as,
finally, she left to share her secret.
* * *
The almost festive jingling of the car keys in her pocket cut through
the early morning silence as Amy walked down the sidewalk that lead to
the Cherry Hill Shrine. Her mind reeled with emotion as she wondered
exactly how she would go about telling Raye about everything that had
happened to her over the past weeks.
"Please go well," she whispered aloud, feeling her stomach lurch in
apprehension. She exhaled deeply, trying to calm her frazzled nerves.
Amy felt a jagged tongue of wind cut through her clothing and lick
at her face suddenly. Her red and numb fingers instantly reached up to
pull her thick coat closer to her exposed throat, which already ached
from exposure to the early morning winter air. Silently, she shivered.
Despite being the Soldier of ice, she was freezing.
~It's too early to be outside in this weather,~ she thought bitterly,
cutting a path through ankle deep snow that had fallen the night
before. ~I must be insane. Only a crazy person would be wandering
around at this time of day.~
"Hey Amy, wait up!"
A voice, painfully cheery for that time of day, startled her
suddenly and she spun around to see Lita jogging towards her, her face
rosy and smiling.
Unlike Amy, whose exhaustion and strain were evident in the bleak
grey of her eyes, Lita looked lively and full of energy. Her auburn
hair was tied back with red and green ribbons that streamed in long
coils down her spine among her tresses, carefully matched to the dark
green sweater she wore. The clownish face of a red-nosed reindeer
stretched itself across her ample bosom, leering at Amy with
exaggerated cheer.
"Hi," she greeted when she'd caught up. She reached up to pull her
heavy green coat closed, her hand disappearing in the frothy white
trim that lined the sleeves and hood. She smiled brightly, tiny
pearlescent teeth flashing, and Amy struggled to remember the last time
she herself had felt so carefree. "Merry Christmas!"
Lita set down a large plastic grocery bag and reached for Amy,
pulling her into an almost-painful hug. Amy felt the loose tendril of
one of her friend's hair ribbons free itself and tickle her cheek.
"Merry Christmas, Lita."
Amy forced a smile for her benefit, trying to disguise the tension
that filled her voice. She'd never expected to run into anyone else
at that time of day.
Lita reached for her bag and grinned, looping the strap over her
wrist like a heavy bracelet. "What are you doing here so early, Amy?"
she asked. Amy froze. She could hardly tell the truth- that she was
here to confess her affair to Raye. Instead, her forced smile grew
broader.
"I wanted to ask Raye if I could borrow some of her clothes for
tonight's party," she lied. Amy felt her jaw clench as she said it,
terrified her friend could see right through her. "I'm really looking
forward to it," she added quickly, in an attempt to sound sincere.
After a pause, she changed the subject. "What about you?"
The toothy grin widened, and it was all Amy could do not to cringe
at Lita's merriment. Though it warmed her heart to see her friend so
obviously happy, Amy was only reminded of her life's problems, and the
contentment she so desperately wanted for herself.
"Well, I'm here to see Chad," Lita replied. She shifted the bag from
her wrist to her palm and pulled it open ever so slightly on one side
to show Amy the contents. She caught a peek of silver foil and etched
holly leaves. Gift wrap, Amy realized. The bag contained a nicely-
wrapped box.
"I wanted to surprise Chad this morning," continued Lita, her smile
turning shy and slightly coy. "To give him his present early." A
faint blush stained her already pink cheeks and she looked down at
Amy from underneath thick eyelashes. "I thought it would be nice
if I was the first thing he saw this morning."
Amy nodded slowly, and gave Lita a weak smile. Even after a month,
she still found it difficult to believe that her friend and Chad were
now an item. Even harder to believe was that Raye had seemingly grown
accepting of the relationship.
"I think that would be nice," she said finally, after a pause. She
began heading towards the Shrine again, as Lita fell into step next to
her.
They made a strange pair as they walked in companionable silence
towards Raye's home. Tall, healthy and spirited Lita to one side,
practically glowing, the plastic bag she held rustling with every
motion. And next to her was Amy, looking weakened and thin in her too-
large coat with a deep frown etched across her features. She stole a
quick glance at Lita, so caught up in the 'Christmas spirit' that she
hadn't even noticed Amy's own lack of cheer, and felt a twinge of
relief. At least she wouldn't be swept into a conversation about 'what
was bothering her' and 'how Lita could help'. Amy didn't know how she
would reply to that.
Soon, they reached the door to the Shrine's living quarters, and Lita
rapped brightly at the door as Amy sniffled against the cold. Several
moments passed without a response. Exhaling deeply, Amy reached out to
knock again, her breath swirling visible in front of her like cigarette
smoke.
"So, Ames," Lita said suddenly, leaning against the doorframe as she
waited for the someone to let them in. "What have you been up to for
the past several weeks? I haven't seen hide nor hair of you."
Amy blinked, various excuses pouring into her mind. She considered
telling Lita that she'd been studying hard, preparing for the upcoming
school year. A lie- for the first time in her life, she hadn't studied
at all. It was a believable excuse, though. Predictable enough. Amy
knew Lita would groan and make some comment about working too hard over
winter break, then eagerly move onto another topic.
Opening her mouth to reply, Amy paused. Instead, she said, "Maybe
they're asleep."
Unfazed by yet another subject change, Lita nodded and moved away
from the door. "Those poor dears," she giggled. "Maybe they were up
half the night waiting for Santa Claus to show up."
Amy nodded, the first genuine smile of the day creeping across her
features at the ridiculous mental picture that theory provided. Lita
winked, putting her bag over her shoulder like old Saint Nick, and
turned the doorknob quietly. "Well," she said as the door opened
without resistance, "Santa's here."
She made a show of walking into the house, waddling like a fat man
and putting a finger to her lips to silence Amy. "Now we can *really*
surprise them." She giggled again, slipping out of her shoes and
heading directly towards Chad's bedroom.
Amy lingered in the foyer, shrugging out of her jacket with hesitance
as she braced herself for the emotional impact of finally sharing her
secret. Though she'd screwed up enough courage to bring her thus far,
she was uncertain about how she'd find the strength to go all the way.
Raye was her closest friend, true. But she was also fiercely loyal to
their princess and leader. Sudden doubt began to seize her.
Before she could act on that doubt, however, she was startled by the
sudden 'thud' of something being dropped, followed instantly by a sharp
intake of breath as though someone had been punched in the stomach.
Every muscle in Amy's body clenched as the sudden fear that something
horrible was happening overwhelmed her.
Her first instinct was that they were being attacked. Her hand
closed over the transformation wand she still always kept on her, and
she called out Lita's name in worry, readying herself to fight if
necessary. Years of battles and scores of enemies had caused her to
grow cautious, constantly aware of any possible threat.
There was no answer, and Amy silently cursed herself for
automatically assuming the worst. Without removing her boots, she
sprinted across the room and into the hallway that lead to Chad's
bedroom to investigate the strange sounds.
It took her a moment to realize what had happened when she finally
reached Lita, staring slack-jawed into Chad's room as she stood in the
doorway. Her hands were empty, and Amy noticed the bag Lita had been
holding laying on the floor sideways. The loud noise must have been
her dropping it, Amy thought. She let her gaze follow her friend's.
What she saw was no demon, though her stomach filled with dread
nonetheless. Instead, she was met with the sight of Chad's disheveled
bed, filled with the horrifed stares of its two compromised occupants.
Lita had been right, after all. They had been surprised. By their
confused and bleary gazes, Amy surmised they'd only just awakened. A
thin cotton sheet was the only thing that covered either of them.
"I-" Chad started. Raye merely stared at the two of them, lips
parted as though she wanted to speak, but couldn't think of what to
say. She pulled the sheet further over her bare chest, her black hair
fanning out from her head in a tangled mess. Lita didn't wait for him
to finish.
Without saying a word, she pushed by Amy and headed down the hallway
towards the front door. As she spun away, Amy saw the glint of a tear
in her eye, and she felt her heart break with compassion for her
friend.
"Lita..." she whispered. She turned to follow, but not before taking
a final look at her panicked friends. Chad, already in boxers, was
struggling to pull on a pair of worn jeans. Raye didn't move, however.
Her eyes remained fixed on the gift that lay on the floor, half spilled
from the plastic bag that had contained it only moments before.
When her eyes finally lifted, they met with Amy's filled to the brim
with guilty tears. ~I'm sorry,~ she was saying, without actually
speaking a word. ~Dear gods, I'm sorry.~
Amy nodded curtly, unsure of how else to react. Then without a word,
she was gone, determined to catch up with Lita.
* * *
"Shit! Shit!" Chad leapt out of the bed as though burned, reaching
for a pair of faded Levis that lay on the floor near the bed. Raye
watched, distressed, as he pulled the jeans over his hips and fumbled
clumbsily with the zipper.
"What have we done?" Raye moaned quietly, clutching the bedsheet
tightly at her breasts as she sat upright on Chad's mattress. "Oh no,
what have we done?" Her voice was hollow from shock, her eyes stinging
with unshed tears. She stared numbly at the dropped gift, and began
to cry.
Movement soon drew her gaze upward, however, and Raye realized Amy
was still standing in the doorway, staring in utter shock.
Raye's eyes were filled with shame and sorrow as they met Amy's,
horrifed at being caught in such a compromising fashion. ~I'm so
sorry,~ she thought instantly, and Amy appeared to understand. She
offered a quick nod before turning on her heel to catch up to Lita.
"Sonovabitch!" Chad swore suddenly, and Raye turned her head to watch
as he struggled to pull on a t-shirt, his frustration causing him
obvious difficulty.
"Chad..." Raye whispered. She blinked, and fresh tears spilled down
her cheeks. "Chad, I'm sorry." Once again, her eyes fixed on the
floor outside the door, at the gift that lay there.
Finally dressed, Chad approached the side of the bed and sat down,
cradling his head in his hands. "Don't apologize," he said after a
long pause. His voice was quiet, with a defeated tone that made Raye's
heart break. "I don't want you to be sorry." He ran his fingers
through his hair with a sigh, offered her a weak smile.
Raye said nothing, staring sadly at the floor.
"Raye?" She didn't reply.
A panicked look painted itself across his features. Chad turned
sharply, facing her. "Raye, please," he implored. "Tell me that you
don't regret this."
Once again, she didn't reply. She shamefully avoided his gaze,
turning her tear-stained face away from him. Chad, frustrated, grabbed
her shoulders and shook her, ignoring the sharp gasp of surprise that
escaped her parted lips.
"Raye! Please tell me!" He was almost yelling now. "Tell me that
you don't regret what we did!" His eyes stung, he was going to cry.
Finally, violet eyes flickered over his. "I... I don't know," she
whispered hoarsely. He pushed her away from him, grunting in disgust.
"Of course you don't," he spat, anger disguising his obvious hurt.
He didn't even look at her as he stood up, storming out of the bedroom.
Raye watched his retreat, her lower lip trembling dangerously. "I
don't know anything anymore," she said aloud, and the floodgates burst.
Pulling the sheet over her shoulders, she curled up into a tight ball
on the bed, sobbing.
--------------------------------------------
It was a Monday when my lover told me
"Never pay The Reaper with love only."
What could I say to you, except, "I love you."
And "I'd give my life for yours."
I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
The first time we made love I...
I wasn't sober.
(And you told me you loved me over and over!)
How could I ever love another
When I miss you every day...
Remember the time we made love
In the roses?
(And you took my picture in all sorts of poses!)
How could I ever get over you,
When I'd give my life for yours?
I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
My dear,
It's time to say I thank god for you.
I thank god for you in each and every single way.
And I know... I know... I know...
It's time you to let you know.
Time to let you know.
Time to let you know.
Time to sit here and sit here and say:
I know we are... we are the lucky ones, dear.
We are the lucky ones, dear.
~Lucky
Bif Naked
--------------------------------------------
The End, Chapter Seven
Credits: "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
-Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde
The Picture of Dorian Gray [1891]
AN: A leering reindeer staring back from an overly-festive sweater.
Anyone else get the very pointed Bridget Jones reference here? Hands
down, Nae. I knew YOU would.
To those of you who may be thinking to yourselves, 'Wow! What a short
chapter!' this is merely the first half of chapter seven. Due to busy
schedules, neither the Fire Goddess or myself have had much time to
write as of late. I decided to release chapter seven in two parts so
that the more avid readers could get their 'fix' while allowing time
for the second part to wrap up. I know from e-mails that some of you
were very excited to see what would happen after chapter six. Expect
to see the other half of chapter seven released shortly.
Thanks go out to Meara, Destiny, Andrea, Steph and Nae (of course!)
this time around. Thanks for everything! Your friendship means a lot.
Thanks also go out to all of those at ASMR who helped me out during the
worst time of my life. While the pain still lingers, it's diminished
by the knowledge that I have true friends in all of you. Thank you
very much.
[courtney@email.ky]
This story is rated PG-13 for language, and sexual references.
--------------------------------------------
Would you dance
If I asked you to dance
Would you run
And never look back
Would you cry
If you saw my crying
Would you save my soul tonight
Would you tremble
If I touched your lips
Would you laugh
Oh please tell me this
Would you die for the one you love
Hold me in your arms tonight
I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away your pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
Would you swear
That you'll always be mine
Would you lie
Would you run and hide
Am I in too deep
Have I lost my mind
I don't care
You're here tonight
I just wanna hold you
~Hero
Enrique Iglesias
--------------------------------------------
Altered State, book one
"Tonight, Tonight"
by Mercury Blue and Fire Goddess Raye
--------------------------------------------
Part Two- The Second Month
Chapter Seven (A)-
Falling Apart
It is said that the only way to rid one's self of a temptation is to
yield to it.
It would seem no one knows this better than our young friends.
Though both Amy and Raye have fought to resist their deepest urges,
neither were able to succeed for very long. Perhaps it was the magic
of the season that weakened their resolve. Or, in Raye's case, perhaps
it was the wine. Either way, both women have now found themselves in
positions they'd swore would never take them. Both must now deal with
the consequences.
For the men, the decisions were far easier to make. The temptation
that much easier to indulge. Darien has told Amy that they will
face her dreams together because, in his eyes, the matter is simple:
he wants to be with her.
In Chad's case, things are more complicated. Though he hasn't
knowledge of the future to hold him back, he *does* have a budding
relationship with Lita. But at what cost? As it happens, his initial
reasons for trying to pull away from Raye have proved false. He'd
seen her with another man and, as he was prone to do, he'd jumped to
irrational conclusions about it. Having spent years trying to catch
her attention (to no avail, it seemed), he'd finally given up hope,
throwing himself blindly into another woman's arms to try and forget
his feelings for Raye. But, as he's only now learned, the 'mystery
man' had only been delivering something. His Christmas gift, no less.
So Chad has lost his only excuse. No longer can he hide behind an
affair with Lita, silently cursing Raye for seeking another man's
attention. He's realized that fate isn't what's kept him from the
woman of his dreams. In fact, it's been his own cowardice.
Well, in vino veritas. There is truth in wine.
Finally, the truth has been revealed. But at what cost?
Only Time will tell.
--------------------------------------------
When Amy woke up on Christmas morning, it was with tears streaming
down her face and a cold chill running down her spine. The dreams had
wasted no time in returning to her, she thought absent-mindedly as she
brought a delicate hand to her breast to help ease her labored
breathing. They hadn't grown any less horrifying, either.
Casting a worried look at her slumbering bed-partner, Amy noted that
he didn't seem the slightest bit bothered by her waking. Rather, he
dozed comfortably on, the rise and fall of his chest relaxed and
steady.
~It hasn't stopped.~ she thought to herself. Not as the she'd
really expected that the nightmares would. Rather, she'd counted on
their return, which only stressed the fact she'd been aware of all
along. They couldn't be together. One amazing night between them
wouldn't change that.
Amy took a moment to study Darien's gentle features, softened in
sleep. Lit by the rising sun, he looked every bit the fallen angel
and her heart twinged with a combination of pure love and agony as the
realization struck her that she couldn't spend the remainder of her
life's mornings with him.
"You're beautiful," she whispered, careful not to wake him as she
brushed a rogue strand of hair from his forehead. Her eyes stung
with the tears she didn't want to cry and she pulled her hand away
quickly, not daring to linger any longer. Such behavior could be
dangerous, she knew. She couldn't allow herself to be pulled in
again.
Drawing a shuddering breath, Amy slid herself from beneath her
bedcovers and stepped out of bed, the winter-touched wooden floor cold
on her bare feet as she walked towards her dresser. It was early yet,
the room still dim with the last traces of night, but she didn't seem
the slightest bit tired as she picked up a comb to untangle her knotted
tresses.
It was time to come out of hiding she decided as she prepared
herself, stepping into the bathroom to perform her standard grooming
rituals. Instinctively, she knew that her emotional involvement with
Darien made it nearly impossible to handle the dream situation on her
own. She was too vulnerable.
But she was also utterly alone in dealing with their relationship,
which had long-since drifted beyond the realm of a simple 'affair'.
She loved him too much to look at the scenario objectively, and knew
after their previous evening's conversation that he was as well. As
much as she hated and feared the idea, Amy knew that she needed to
talk to someone; someone who could help her sort out the mess she'd
gotten herself into. Someone who, with luck, could understand why
she'd done what she had done. Someone who would forgive her.
Raye was the natural choice, of course. In addition to being her
closest friend, Amy sensed that having lived through the experience of
having the man she loved date a close friend would make Raye more
sympathetic to her predicament. At least, she hoped.
How Raye could possibly help her, Amy wasn't sure. Desperation was
driving her to take this chance, however, and she needed to believe
that maybe, just maybe, her friend could help her situation. Perform a
fire-reading perhaps. Or, at the very least, offer her some advice.
~Please be there for me,~ Amy prayed silently as she dressed
herself. ~I could really use your help.~
Hastily, she jotted a note onto a piece of paper telling Darien that
she would be back shortly. Placing it on her pillow, she once again
let her gaze fall on his sleeping face. Taking in the soft curve of
his lips, the sharp triangle of his nose, and the gentle fluttering
eyelids that lay against his cheek, she felt her heart contract in
pain. She forced herself to turn away from him, to stand up and head
for the door. But not before placing a warm kiss on the forehead to
say goodbye.
As she left she cast a final glance at her dozing lover, and smiled
sadly. Uncertainty and dread filled every crevice of her soul as,
finally, she left to share her secret.
* * *
The almost festive jingling of the car keys in her pocket cut through
the early morning silence as Amy walked down the sidewalk that lead to
the Cherry Hill Shrine. Her mind reeled with emotion as she wondered
exactly how she would go about telling Raye about everything that had
happened to her over the past weeks.
"Please go well," she whispered aloud, feeling her stomach lurch in
apprehension. She exhaled deeply, trying to calm her frazzled nerves.
Amy felt a jagged tongue of wind cut through her clothing and lick
at her face suddenly. Her red and numb fingers instantly reached up to
pull her thick coat closer to her exposed throat, which already ached
from exposure to the early morning winter air. Silently, she shivered.
Despite being the Soldier of ice, she was freezing.
~It's too early to be outside in this weather,~ she thought bitterly,
cutting a path through ankle deep snow that had fallen the night
before. ~I must be insane. Only a crazy person would be wandering
around at this time of day.~
"Hey Amy, wait up!"
A voice, painfully cheery for that time of day, startled her
suddenly and she spun around to see Lita jogging towards her, her face
rosy and smiling.
Unlike Amy, whose exhaustion and strain were evident in the bleak
grey of her eyes, Lita looked lively and full of energy. Her auburn
hair was tied back with red and green ribbons that streamed in long
coils down her spine among her tresses, carefully matched to the dark
green sweater she wore. The clownish face of a red-nosed reindeer
stretched itself across her ample bosom, leering at Amy with
exaggerated cheer.
"Hi," she greeted when she'd caught up. She reached up to pull her
heavy green coat closed, her hand disappearing in the frothy white
trim that lined the sleeves and hood. She smiled brightly, tiny
pearlescent teeth flashing, and Amy struggled to remember the last time
she herself had felt so carefree. "Merry Christmas!"
Lita set down a large plastic grocery bag and reached for Amy,
pulling her into an almost-painful hug. Amy felt the loose tendril of
one of her friend's hair ribbons free itself and tickle her cheek.
"Merry Christmas, Lita."
Amy forced a smile for her benefit, trying to disguise the tension
that filled her voice. She'd never expected to run into anyone else
at that time of day.
Lita reached for her bag and grinned, looping the strap over her
wrist like a heavy bracelet. "What are you doing here so early, Amy?"
she asked. Amy froze. She could hardly tell the truth- that she was
here to confess her affair to Raye. Instead, her forced smile grew
broader.
"I wanted to ask Raye if I could borrow some of her clothes for
tonight's party," she lied. Amy felt her jaw clench as she said it,
terrified her friend could see right through her. "I'm really looking
forward to it," she added quickly, in an attempt to sound sincere.
After a pause, she changed the subject. "What about you?"
The toothy grin widened, and it was all Amy could do not to cringe
at Lita's merriment. Though it warmed her heart to see her friend so
obviously happy, Amy was only reminded of her life's problems, and the
contentment she so desperately wanted for herself.
"Well, I'm here to see Chad," Lita replied. She shifted the bag from
her wrist to her palm and pulled it open ever so slightly on one side
to show Amy the contents. She caught a peek of silver foil and etched
holly leaves. Gift wrap, Amy realized. The bag contained a nicely-
wrapped box.
"I wanted to surprise Chad this morning," continued Lita, her smile
turning shy and slightly coy. "To give him his present early." A
faint blush stained her already pink cheeks and she looked down at
Amy from underneath thick eyelashes. "I thought it would be nice
if I was the first thing he saw this morning."
Amy nodded slowly, and gave Lita a weak smile. Even after a month,
she still found it difficult to believe that her friend and Chad were
now an item. Even harder to believe was that Raye had seemingly grown
accepting of the relationship.
"I think that would be nice," she said finally, after a pause. She
began heading towards the Shrine again, as Lita fell into step next to
her.
They made a strange pair as they walked in companionable silence
towards Raye's home. Tall, healthy and spirited Lita to one side,
practically glowing, the plastic bag she held rustling with every
motion. And next to her was Amy, looking weakened and thin in her too-
large coat with a deep frown etched across her features. She stole a
quick glance at Lita, so caught up in the 'Christmas spirit' that she
hadn't even noticed Amy's own lack of cheer, and felt a twinge of
relief. At least she wouldn't be swept into a conversation about 'what
was bothering her' and 'how Lita could help'. Amy didn't know how she
would reply to that.
Soon, they reached the door to the Shrine's living quarters, and Lita
rapped brightly at the door as Amy sniffled against the cold. Several
moments passed without a response. Exhaling deeply, Amy reached out to
knock again, her breath swirling visible in front of her like cigarette
smoke.
"So, Ames," Lita said suddenly, leaning against the doorframe as she
waited for the someone to let them in. "What have you been up to for
the past several weeks? I haven't seen hide nor hair of you."
Amy blinked, various excuses pouring into her mind. She considered
telling Lita that she'd been studying hard, preparing for the upcoming
school year. A lie- for the first time in her life, she hadn't studied
at all. It was a believable excuse, though. Predictable enough. Amy
knew Lita would groan and make some comment about working too hard over
winter break, then eagerly move onto another topic.
Opening her mouth to reply, Amy paused. Instead, she said, "Maybe
they're asleep."
Unfazed by yet another subject change, Lita nodded and moved away
from the door. "Those poor dears," she giggled. "Maybe they were up
half the night waiting for Santa Claus to show up."
Amy nodded, the first genuine smile of the day creeping across her
features at the ridiculous mental picture that theory provided. Lita
winked, putting her bag over her shoulder like old Saint Nick, and
turned the doorknob quietly. "Well," she said as the door opened
without resistance, "Santa's here."
She made a show of walking into the house, waddling like a fat man
and putting a finger to her lips to silence Amy. "Now we can *really*
surprise them." She giggled again, slipping out of her shoes and
heading directly towards Chad's bedroom.
Amy lingered in the foyer, shrugging out of her jacket with hesitance
as she braced herself for the emotional impact of finally sharing her
secret. Though she'd screwed up enough courage to bring her thus far,
she was uncertain about how she'd find the strength to go all the way.
Raye was her closest friend, true. But she was also fiercely loyal to
their princess and leader. Sudden doubt began to seize her.
Before she could act on that doubt, however, she was startled by the
sudden 'thud' of something being dropped, followed instantly by a sharp
intake of breath as though someone had been punched in the stomach.
Every muscle in Amy's body clenched as the sudden fear that something
horrible was happening overwhelmed her.
Her first instinct was that they were being attacked. Her hand
closed over the transformation wand she still always kept on her, and
she called out Lita's name in worry, readying herself to fight if
necessary. Years of battles and scores of enemies had caused her to
grow cautious, constantly aware of any possible threat.
There was no answer, and Amy silently cursed herself for
automatically assuming the worst. Without removing her boots, she
sprinted across the room and into the hallway that lead to Chad's
bedroom to investigate the strange sounds.
It took her a moment to realize what had happened when she finally
reached Lita, staring slack-jawed into Chad's room as she stood in the
doorway. Her hands were empty, and Amy noticed the bag Lita had been
holding laying on the floor sideways. The loud noise must have been
her dropping it, Amy thought. She let her gaze follow her friend's.
What she saw was no demon, though her stomach filled with dread
nonetheless. Instead, she was met with the sight of Chad's disheveled
bed, filled with the horrifed stares of its two compromised occupants.
Lita had been right, after all. They had been surprised. By their
confused and bleary gazes, Amy surmised they'd only just awakened. A
thin cotton sheet was the only thing that covered either of them.
"I-" Chad started. Raye merely stared at the two of them, lips
parted as though she wanted to speak, but couldn't think of what to
say. She pulled the sheet further over her bare chest, her black hair
fanning out from her head in a tangled mess. Lita didn't wait for him
to finish.
Without saying a word, she pushed by Amy and headed down the hallway
towards the front door. As she spun away, Amy saw the glint of a tear
in her eye, and she felt her heart break with compassion for her
friend.
"Lita..." she whispered. She turned to follow, but not before taking
a final look at her panicked friends. Chad, already in boxers, was
struggling to pull on a pair of worn jeans. Raye didn't move, however.
Her eyes remained fixed on the gift that lay on the floor, half spilled
from the plastic bag that had contained it only moments before.
When her eyes finally lifted, they met with Amy's filled to the brim
with guilty tears. ~I'm sorry,~ she was saying, without actually
speaking a word. ~Dear gods, I'm sorry.~
Amy nodded curtly, unsure of how else to react. Then without a word,
she was gone, determined to catch up with Lita.
* * *
"Shit! Shit!" Chad leapt out of the bed as though burned, reaching
for a pair of faded Levis that lay on the floor near the bed. Raye
watched, distressed, as he pulled the jeans over his hips and fumbled
clumbsily with the zipper.
"What have we done?" Raye moaned quietly, clutching the bedsheet
tightly at her breasts as she sat upright on Chad's mattress. "Oh no,
what have we done?" Her voice was hollow from shock, her eyes stinging
with unshed tears. She stared numbly at the dropped gift, and began
to cry.
Movement soon drew her gaze upward, however, and Raye realized Amy
was still standing in the doorway, staring in utter shock.
Raye's eyes were filled with shame and sorrow as they met Amy's,
horrifed at being caught in such a compromising fashion. ~I'm so
sorry,~ she thought instantly, and Amy appeared to understand. She
offered a quick nod before turning on her heel to catch up to Lita.
"Sonovabitch!" Chad swore suddenly, and Raye turned her head to watch
as he struggled to pull on a t-shirt, his frustration causing him
obvious difficulty.
"Chad..." Raye whispered. She blinked, and fresh tears spilled down
her cheeks. "Chad, I'm sorry." Once again, her eyes fixed on the
floor outside the door, at the gift that lay there.
Finally dressed, Chad approached the side of the bed and sat down,
cradling his head in his hands. "Don't apologize," he said after a
long pause. His voice was quiet, with a defeated tone that made Raye's
heart break. "I don't want you to be sorry." He ran his fingers
through his hair with a sigh, offered her a weak smile.
Raye said nothing, staring sadly at the floor.
"Raye?" She didn't reply.
A panicked look painted itself across his features. Chad turned
sharply, facing her. "Raye, please," he implored. "Tell me that you
don't regret this."
Once again, she didn't reply. She shamefully avoided his gaze,
turning her tear-stained face away from him. Chad, frustrated, grabbed
her shoulders and shook her, ignoring the sharp gasp of surprise that
escaped her parted lips.
"Raye! Please tell me!" He was almost yelling now. "Tell me that
you don't regret what we did!" His eyes stung, he was going to cry.
Finally, violet eyes flickered over his. "I... I don't know," she
whispered hoarsely. He pushed her away from him, grunting in disgust.
"Of course you don't," he spat, anger disguising his obvious hurt.
He didn't even look at her as he stood up, storming out of the bedroom.
Raye watched his retreat, her lower lip trembling dangerously. "I
don't know anything anymore," she said aloud, and the floodgates burst.
Pulling the sheet over her shoulders, she curled up into a tight ball
on the bed, sobbing.
--------------------------------------------
It was a Monday when my lover told me
"Never pay The Reaper with love only."
What could I say to you, except, "I love you."
And "I'd give my life for yours."
I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
The first time we made love I...
I wasn't sober.
(And you told me you loved me over and over!)
How could I ever love another
When I miss you every day...
Remember the time we made love
In the roses?
(And you took my picture in all sorts of poses!)
How could I ever get over you,
When I'd give my life for yours?
I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
My dear,
It's time to say I thank god for you.
I thank god for you in each and every single way.
And I know... I know... I know...
It's time you to let you know.
Time to let you know.
Time to let you know.
Time to sit here and sit here and say:
I know we are... we are the lucky ones, dear.
We are the lucky ones, dear.
~Lucky
Bif Naked
--------------------------------------------
The End, Chapter Seven
Credits: "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
-Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde
The Picture of Dorian Gray [1891]
AN: A leering reindeer staring back from an overly-festive sweater.
Anyone else get the very pointed Bridget Jones reference here? Hands
down, Nae. I knew YOU would.
To those of you who may be thinking to yourselves, 'Wow! What a short
chapter!' this is merely the first half of chapter seven. Due to busy
schedules, neither the Fire Goddess or myself have had much time to
write as of late. I decided to release chapter seven in two parts so
that the more avid readers could get their 'fix' while allowing time
for the second part to wrap up. I know from e-mails that some of you
were very excited to see what would happen after chapter six. Expect
to see the other half of chapter seven released shortly.
Thanks go out to Meara, Destiny, Andrea, Steph and Nae (of course!)
this time around. Thanks for everything! Your friendship means a lot.
Thanks also go out to all of those at ASMR who helped me out during the
worst time of my life. While the pain still lingers, it's diminished
by the knowledge that I have true friends in all of you. Thank you
very much.