Welcome to the final chapter!!! ^^ Thanks to everyone, and please keep
reviewing. And thanks to Re for helping me with a huge scene involving fish
and stuff. O.o
Disclaimer: I don't own crap. So get reading. *glare*
~*~
All the parties are in the middle of a random field.
Re / Sephiroth: ...O.o So tell me again, how did we all meet up?
Akari / Tifa: *shrugs* It's scripted.
Tifa / horse head: So... We should all head back to my bar now, right?
Takt / Sephiroth: Yeah... But where do we find it?...
Re / Sephiroth: O_o;; It's right there, conveniently placed in the middle of the field...
Everyone starts to walk to the bar. Suddenly the earth cracks and they all fall in. O.o That's the 2nd time that's happened... But anyway, everyone is in the Lifestream. A giant statue, like in a fish tank, floats by.
Everyone: o_O;;
Ryu / Cloud: What the hell???
Suddenly a huge fish floats by.
Selphie / Sakura: AAAAHHH!!!!!! ANOTHER FISH!!!!!!!!
Everyone: O.o
Giant Floating Fish: MWUAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I AM THE GO FISHER AND I CHALLENGE YOU TO A GAME OF GO FISH!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Re / Sephiroth: Er... Alrighty... Who's gonna play?
Selphie / Sakura: I am! *dramatic voice* All my life... Fish have been in my way.
Big cheesy flashback... Selphie is shown at the Garden in the Cafeteria.
Selphie: What? No hot dogs?! Wait... I don't care. I don't even like hot dogs. Anyway, what else do you have?
Cafeteria lady: Um... Fish.
Selphie: But fish tastes like socks.
Cafeteria lady: It's all we have.
Selphie: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another of Selphie's flashbacks is shown. She's at Fisherman's Horizon, fishing.
Selphie: Hmm... Hey, I got a bite! :D
Selphie pulls up the rod.
Selphie: A...FISH?! WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! Don't they have sugar or something in this damn lake?!
And a final flashback is shown. Selphie is in the orphanage as a child. She's with a boy younger than her and they're eating at the table.
Selphie: Okay brother... Let's see what there is to eat!
Selphie picks up a plate.
Selphie: This looks like... FISH!!!
Selphie's brother: *eating it* Mmm, itsh goodsh.
Selphie: No... Brother, fish is POISONOUS!!!!!!!
Selphie's brother: Mmm.... *takes another bite* Ahhhh..... *hack cough* I'M CHOKING I'M CHOKING I'M CHOKING I'M--*dies*
Selphie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
End cheesy flashbacks.
Squall / lobster: Er... Selphie, you had a brother?
Selphie / Sakura: Uh... *sweatdrop* Yeah...
All the SeeDs: But we don't remember you having one.
Selphie / Sakura: ... *runs*
Akari / Tifa: HEY! *pulls Selphie back* Go play Go Fish!
Selphie / Sakura: *sigh* Fine...
Selphie walks over to the Go Fisher and sits down across from him. A deck of Go Fish cards appears from nowhere. They start playing.
Selphie / Sakura: *pulls out a card* Go fish...
A few hours later...
Everyone: *snore*
Go Fisher: *gets a card* Go fish.
Selphie / Sakura: *sigh* Why is this repeating over and over??
Selphie picks up the deck and goes through it.
Selphie / Sakura: Hey... This is rigged!!!
Go Fisher: How can you rig a game of Go Fish???
Selphie / Sakura: Er... You can't. I was just lying to stop playing.
Go Fisher: GGRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
Selphie / Sakura: ...Ah crap.
The Go Fisher starts to chase Selphie.
Everyone: *wakes up* Huh???
Selphie / Sakura: HEEEEELP!!!!!
Dagger / princess: Oh, it's just Selphie being chased by her worst fear. Go back to sleep, everyone.
Everyone: *goes back to sleep*
Selphie / Sakura: Well, there's only one way out of this... WINDY!!!!!!!
Selphie summons the Windy card and all the water and everything gets blown away.
Selphie / Sakura: O.o I'm in a black, empty void... What's happening???
Suddenly Black Mage from 8bit Theater appears.
Black Mage: Hi Selphie! Wanna be evil? :D
Selphie / Sakura: Er... No, that's okay...
White Mage appears.
White Mage: Good! Don't slip to his side!!
Suddenly the screen shifts to Selphie, on the ground, with everyone else in the middle of a field. Selphie is unconscious and talking about something.
Selphie: No...evil...
Dagger / princess: When the hell is she gonna wake up??
Selphie: NOOOO!!!!!!!! Don't eat my face!!!!!!!!
Squall / lobster: O_o;; We should really wake her.
Dagger / princess: Nah, I wanna see where this is going. :D
Back at Selphie's dark void...
Selphie: WHY ARE YOU EATING MY FACE, BLACK MAGE?!
Black Mage: I guess I'd better tell you my secret... I'm really... STRAGO!!! *pulls off mask* :D MWUAHAHAHA!!!!!!
White Mage: And I'm really... YOUR BROTHER!!!!!! *pulls off mask*
Selphie: BUT YOU PEOPLE ARE DEAD!!! ...Except Strago!
Suddenly Selphie wakes up, screaming.
Selphie: *pant* I had a weird dream...
Strago: It wasn't a dream! =DDD
Selphie: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Selphie wakes up again, for real this time. She's in the middle of the field with everyone else.
Selphie / Sakura: How'd we get back to the field??
Everyone: *shrugs*
Akari / Tifa: O_o;; Let's just go back to Tifa's bar.
Everyone is suddenly back at Tifa's bar.
Re / Sephiroth: O.o Well, that was quick.
Akari / Tifa: Okay people... Put all your candy on the table!
Tifa / horse head: Why?
Akari / Tifa: Cause I'm gonna eat it all!!! =DDD
Aeris / horse butt: But that's not fair!
Akari / Tifa: ... *whacks Aeris in the head* Now, put your candy down!!
Everyone: ...
Kidd walks forward and puts a Butterfinger down. She steps back. Everyone is silent.
Akari / Tifa: A BUTTERFINGER?! ARE YOU UNHOLY?!?!?!?!
Akari quickly sets the Butterfinger on fire and throws it out the window. A 'boom' is heard.
Akari / Tifa: *breathes out* Good thing we got rid of that eeevil substance... *shudder* And where the hell is all the candy?!
Re / Sephiroth: Well, I guess no one could get any...
Akari / Tifa: WHY!?
Tifa / horse head: There were no places to trick or treat!
Takt / Sephiroth: Oh, come on. There's Strago's house and Mojo's house and Reno's house...
Everyone: ...
Takt / Sephiroth: ...I see your point.
Re / Sephiroth: This was a really boring party... Let's just go.
Akari / Tifa: NOOOOO!!!!!!!
Everyone: ...O.o
Akari / Tifa: Er... But this has to be another great fic from me!
Ryu / Cloud: It sucks.
Akari / Tifa: Wouldn't we all just be happier if Ryu died?
Everyone: YEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!
Akari / Tifa: Alrighty. *sets Ryu on fire then throws him out the window*
A 'boom' is heard. Akari smiles cheesily.
Akari / Tifa: NOW will you people stay?
Takt / Sephiroth: Yep. You see, we were gonna leave cause we all hate Ryu. :D
Akari / Tifa: Well, now... What do we do?
Everyone: ...
Re / Sephiroth: Can we set more people on fire and throw them out the window? =DDD *pulls out weapon* I'll help too!
Akari / Tifa: O_o;; No, that's okay...
Takt / Sephiroth: Um, can we throw Rude out the window?
Akari / Tifa: Why?
Takt / Sephiroth: Cause he has no hair! AND I LIKE HAIR!!! *cries*
Akari / Tifa: O_o;; What's he doing here anyway?
Rude: :D Hiya.
Akari / Tifa: *sigh* Okay... *sets Rude on fire and throws him out the window*
Someone who sounds a lot like Ryu: Hey, what are you doing here?
Suddenly a 'boom' is heard.
Akari / Tifa: =DDD That was fun.
Re / Sephiroth: Hey... Look... Reno's here!
Reno: *stumbles out of the corner and walks over to Cid* Heh heh... *hic* You're pretty damn hotsh! :D *hic*
Cid: ...O_o
Reno: Wanna have a *hic* good time?
Cid: ...Yeah.
Reno: :DDD WOOHOO!!!!!
Reno and Cid jump out the window.
Akari / Tifa: O_O Now... What the hell was that??
Re / Sephiroth: Results of the author putting random crap into the fic. *glare*
Akari / Tifa: *sweatdrop* Er... Yeah... Sure...
Re / Sephiroth: So, what now?
Someone who sounds a lot like Edgar: *cough*
Akari / Tifa: Who was that?
Someone who sounds a lot like Edgar: Me, Edgar.
Akari / Tifa: Alrighty. O.o
Edgar: Let's have a strip party!!!
The Playboy bunnies: YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Irvine: W00T!!!!!! *jumps on the table and takes off his top*
All the women: O_O
Everyone looks away from Irvine in disgust.
Irvine: *sigh* Why does everyone hate me?
Akari / Tifa: Er... Maybe it's the fact that you have boobs...
Irvine: ... *examines self* o.O I do...
Akari / Tifa: *shudder* Okay, let's all kill Irvine!
Everyone: YEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Akari sets Irvine on fire and throws him out the window. Someone who sounds a lot like Ryu says 'Hey, what are you doing here?' again. And then a 'boom' is heard, followed by girlish screams.
Edgar: O.o Alrighty... Now where are the damn women?!
Quistis: We changed our minds. We don't wanna strip.
Yuna: Yeah, we already did.
Lulu: Let someone else strip.
Edgar: ...:D Okie!!!
Edgar jumps on the table and takes off his top.
All the women: Ehhh... *drool*
All the men: *glare at Edgar*
Zell / Kero: LET'S GET HIM!!!
Edgar: *girlish voice* Eeek!!!
The guys tackle Edgar and begin to beat the crap outta him.
Tifa / horse head: *sigh* Damn. This is the worst party ever.
Akari / Tifa: Well, I guess it's time for you people to leave...
Everyone: *mumble*
Everyone leaves except Tifa, Re, Takt, and Akari.
Tifa / horse head: This was the crappiest fanfic you've ever written.
Akari / Tifa: Hey, it can't be over already!
Re / Sephiroth: It is.
Akari / Tifa: Well, don't you people have any ideas?
Re / Sephiroth: No.
Takt / Sephiroth: Nope.
Tifa / horse head: Get the hell out of my house. *glare*
Akari / Tifa: Well, I guess we should just go.
Re / Sephiroth: Wait... Remember those characters who we didn't get to see do anything? :D
Akari / Tifa: Er... No. o.O
Re / Sephiroth: They disappeared in the middle of the fic! So let's follow them with a hidden camera!!!
Takt / Sephiroth: Yeah!! *pulls out a video camera*
Tifa: Whatever. *runs away*
Akari / Tifa: O.o Alright, let's go!!
The authors run to the field outside the Wall Market.
Akari / Tifa: Serge should be knocked out in this field... Remember back in the last chapter when Crono hit him? ^_^
Re / Sephiroth: Look...
Re points to Serge, lying half-dead in the middle of the field. The authors run into a nearby bush to hide.
Serge / Crono: ... *stands up* ... *starts walking away*
Re / Sephiroth: HEY!!! Get back here! We have to videotape you doing weird stuff! *cheesy grin*
Serge / Crono: *sigh* ... *walks back* ... *stands there, doing nothing*
Everyone: ...
Re / Sephiroth: Well?
Serge / Crono: *takes a breath* WHY DID THOSE $%@&#*$^&#@$^(#@$&#%&$^(#@&@^%$*&^#@*&S LEAVE ME HERE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Everyone: O.O
Serge / Crono: ...I'm done. *walks away*
Takt / Sephiroth: Okay, that was really boring. Let's go spy on someone else! =D
The three run to Mideel and look into the cracked earth.
Akari / Tifa: In the last chapter, we never did find out what happened to Barret... *wink wink*
Akari drags Re and Takt into the Lifestream. They look around.
Re / Sephiroth: ...Nothing's here.
Takt / Sephiroth: O.o Wait...
Takt points to something floating in the distance. They swim over. Barret is there, probably dead.
Everyone: O_o;;
Re / Sephiroth: Alrighty... What now??
Akari / Tifa: We can drag him to the surface.
Barret / Mr. T: That's okay, foo, I'm alright!
Everyone: ......AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
The authors swim to the surface and get out of the Lifestream.
Akari / Tifa: That was just weird.
Re / Sephiroth: Hey, let's go to the Gold Saucer!
Takt / Sephiroth: Yeah, I think Kimahri was dead there...
The party goes to the Gold Saucer. Kimahri is lying on the ground there, dead. A few people walk by and step on him. Crunching sounds are heard.
Akari / Tifa: O_o;; Maybe we should help him.
Takt / Sephiroth: Nah, he's dead.
The three stand there for a while, watching as Kimahri gets squished by various people. One of them is Auron.
Re / Sephiroth: O.o What's Auron doing there??
Auron / Sephiroth: *walks over* Hi! I disappeared in the middle of the fic. *glares at Akari*
Akari / Tifa: *sweatdrop* Heh heh... Yeah...
Auron / Sephiroth: So... What are you guys doing?
Akari / Tifa: Well, the fic's over. So we were just leaving.
Auron / Sephiroth: But... I wanna be in it now!!!
Re / Sephiroth: Too bad. *evil grin*
Auron / Sephiroth: NOOOOOOO!!!!! *casually walks away*
Takt / Sephiroth: O.o Anyway, look... It's SEPHIROTH!!!!!
The authors run over to Sephiroth, who's standing in the Gold Saucer.
Sephiroth: =D You again!
Re / Sephiroth: Can I have your autograph?
Sephiroth signs a paper. Again, Kuja walks over and eats it.
Kuja: NO! I'M THE BEST VILLAIN!!!!
Everyone: ...
Akari / Tifa: You're wearing a crotch buckle thing... And a frilly purple vest... What do you think that tells us about you?
Kuja: ... *sigh* Why am I so misunderstood?? *cries*
Everyone: o.O
Kuja: That's it! I challenge you to a duel!
Re / Sephiroth: I wanna battle him. Kuja always wanted to replace Sephiroth and while doing that, he's gotten in my way! Now I'm gonna get revenge!!
A bunch of Re's flashbacks are shown... First, she's standing on the set of FFVII. Aeris's death scene is going on. Suddenly, Sephiroth accidentally slashes him own hand with his Masamune.
Sephiroth: Ahh!!! I got a frikkin cut!!! HEEELP!!!
Director: *sigh* We need a stunt double!
Re / Sephiroth: I'll go on! =DDD
Re runs onstage and gets into a pose.
Director: Okay, action!
Re is about to slash Aeris when suddenly, Kuja runs on the set and grabs the Masamune. He kills Aeris himself and runs off the set, laughing evilly.
Kuja: MWUAHAHAHA!!!!! NOW I'M PERMANENTLY IN THE GAME!!!!!!! *runs away*
Director: O.o Well, we can just delete that scene. But our best Aeris is gone! Noooo!!!!!
A really fat smelly guy dressed in a pink dress walks on. He grins to show that 90% of his teeth are missing.
Fat smelly guy: =B
Director: o.O Good enough...
Sephiroth runs onstage.
Sephiroth: I'm okay! I can get back into the scene!
Re / Sephiroth: NOOOO!!!! KUJA JUST RUINED MY CHANCE OF BEING IN FFVII!!!!!!!!!!
Flashback ends.
Re / Sephiroth: I have to destroy him!
Akari / Tifa: There's too much déja` vu in this fanfic... *faints*
Everyone: O.o
Takt / Sephiroth: Oh well. Beat the crap outta him!
Re / Sephiroth: =D Gladly. *pulls out weapon* REKKA SHINEN!!!!!!
Re attacks Kuja but suddenly, everything turns black. As the smoke clears up, one person is standing...
Takt / Sephiroth: Um... Maybe I should move out of the way. ^^;;
Takt steps away. One person is standing... And that is a Kuja-shaped pile of ashes.
Takt / Sephiroth: O.o That's not a person!
Whatever. Re is standing. Takt runs up to the ashes and pokes them. The pile collapses.
Takt / Sephiroth: Yay, he's dead!
Re / Sephiroth: No he isn't... *pulls out a vacuum and grins evilly* But he's gonna be!!
Re uses the vacuum on the ashes and Kuja is sucked up. She turns to Sephiroth.
Re / Sephiroth: Can I have your autograph now? =D
Sephiroth: Okie! *gives Re his autograph*
Re / Sephiroth: YAY!!! *glomps Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: AAAHHH!!!!! *tries to run out of the way but gets knocked down*
Takt / Sephiroth: O.o *turns away slowly and sees Akari* Hey, HAIR!!!
Takt runs over to Akari, who's still knocked out. He starts braiding her hair.
Takt / Sephiroth: =DDD Hey, let's talk to dead people!!
Re / Sephiroth: o.O Whatever...
Suddenly Akari gets up.
Akari / Tifa: I'm not dead~! =DDD
Everyone: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *runs away*
Akari / Tifa: O_o;; Well, that was the stupidest fic I've ever written.
Akari walks off. Suddenly the earth cracks open and she falls into the Lifestream. And since the Lifestream is really green acid, she dies and now can't write any more fanfics! THE END!!!! =DDD
~*~
Um... Okay, that's all. O.o Please review, everyone! Thanks to everyone who did and gave me support as I wrote this fic. ^^ And most of all, thanks to Re for co-authoring and co-hosting this fic!! It was great working with you and your fics rule!!! ^_^ Thanks again to everyone. Now bye. o.O
Disclaimer: I don't own crap. So get reading. *glare*
~*~
All the parties are in the middle of a random field.
Re / Sephiroth: ...O.o So tell me again, how did we all meet up?
Akari / Tifa: *shrugs* It's scripted.
Tifa / horse head: So... We should all head back to my bar now, right?
Takt / Sephiroth: Yeah... But where do we find it?...
Re / Sephiroth: O_o;; It's right there, conveniently placed in the middle of the field...
Everyone starts to walk to the bar. Suddenly the earth cracks and they all fall in. O.o That's the 2nd time that's happened... But anyway, everyone is in the Lifestream. A giant statue, like in a fish tank, floats by.
Everyone: o_O;;
Ryu / Cloud: What the hell???
Suddenly a huge fish floats by.
Selphie / Sakura: AAAAHHH!!!!!! ANOTHER FISH!!!!!!!!
Everyone: O.o
Giant Floating Fish: MWUAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I AM THE GO FISHER AND I CHALLENGE YOU TO A GAME OF GO FISH!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Re / Sephiroth: Er... Alrighty... Who's gonna play?
Selphie / Sakura: I am! *dramatic voice* All my life... Fish have been in my way.
Big cheesy flashback... Selphie is shown at the Garden in the Cafeteria.
Selphie: What? No hot dogs?! Wait... I don't care. I don't even like hot dogs. Anyway, what else do you have?
Cafeteria lady: Um... Fish.
Selphie: But fish tastes like socks.
Cafeteria lady: It's all we have.
Selphie: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another of Selphie's flashbacks is shown. She's at Fisherman's Horizon, fishing.
Selphie: Hmm... Hey, I got a bite! :D
Selphie pulls up the rod.
Selphie: A...FISH?! WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! Don't they have sugar or something in this damn lake?!
And a final flashback is shown. Selphie is in the orphanage as a child. She's with a boy younger than her and they're eating at the table.
Selphie: Okay brother... Let's see what there is to eat!
Selphie picks up a plate.
Selphie: This looks like... FISH!!!
Selphie's brother: *eating it* Mmm, itsh goodsh.
Selphie: No... Brother, fish is POISONOUS!!!!!!!
Selphie's brother: Mmm.... *takes another bite* Ahhhh..... *hack cough* I'M CHOKING I'M CHOKING I'M CHOKING I'M--*dies*
Selphie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
End cheesy flashbacks.
Squall / lobster: Er... Selphie, you had a brother?
Selphie / Sakura: Uh... *sweatdrop* Yeah...
All the SeeDs: But we don't remember you having one.
Selphie / Sakura: ... *runs*
Akari / Tifa: HEY! *pulls Selphie back* Go play Go Fish!
Selphie / Sakura: *sigh* Fine...
Selphie walks over to the Go Fisher and sits down across from him. A deck of Go Fish cards appears from nowhere. They start playing.
Selphie / Sakura: *pulls out a card* Go fish...
A few hours later...
Everyone: *snore*
Go Fisher: *gets a card* Go fish.
Selphie / Sakura: *sigh* Why is this repeating over and over??
Selphie picks up the deck and goes through it.
Selphie / Sakura: Hey... This is rigged!!!
Go Fisher: How can you rig a game of Go Fish???
Selphie / Sakura: Er... You can't. I was just lying to stop playing.
Go Fisher: GGRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
Selphie / Sakura: ...Ah crap.
The Go Fisher starts to chase Selphie.
Everyone: *wakes up* Huh???
Selphie / Sakura: HEEEEELP!!!!!
Dagger / princess: Oh, it's just Selphie being chased by her worst fear. Go back to sleep, everyone.
Everyone: *goes back to sleep*
Selphie / Sakura: Well, there's only one way out of this... WINDY!!!!!!!
Selphie summons the Windy card and all the water and everything gets blown away.
Selphie / Sakura: O.o I'm in a black, empty void... What's happening???
Suddenly Black Mage from 8bit Theater appears.
Black Mage: Hi Selphie! Wanna be evil? :D
Selphie / Sakura: Er... No, that's okay...
White Mage appears.
White Mage: Good! Don't slip to his side!!
Suddenly the screen shifts to Selphie, on the ground, with everyone else in the middle of a field. Selphie is unconscious and talking about something.
Selphie: No...evil...
Dagger / princess: When the hell is she gonna wake up??
Selphie: NOOOO!!!!!!!! Don't eat my face!!!!!!!!
Squall / lobster: O_o;; We should really wake her.
Dagger / princess: Nah, I wanna see where this is going. :D
Back at Selphie's dark void...
Selphie: WHY ARE YOU EATING MY FACE, BLACK MAGE?!
Black Mage: I guess I'd better tell you my secret... I'm really... STRAGO!!! *pulls off mask* :D MWUAHAHAHA!!!!!!
White Mage: And I'm really... YOUR BROTHER!!!!!! *pulls off mask*
Selphie: BUT YOU PEOPLE ARE DEAD!!! ...Except Strago!
Suddenly Selphie wakes up, screaming.
Selphie: *pant* I had a weird dream...
Strago: It wasn't a dream! =DDD
Selphie: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Selphie wakes up again, for real this time. She's in the middle of the field with everyone else.
Selphie / Sakura: How'd we get back to the field??
Everyone: *shrugs*
Akari / Tifa: O_o;; Let's just go back to Tifa's bar.
Everyone is suddenly back at Tifa's bar.
Re / Sephiroth: O.o Well, that was quick.
Akari / Tifa: Okay people... Put all your candy on the table!
Tifa / horse head: Why?
Akari / Tifa: Cause I'm gonna eat it all!!! =DDD
Aeris / horse butt: But that's not fair!
Akari / Tifa: ... *whacks Aeris in the head* Now, put your candy down!!
Everyone: ...
Kidd walks forward and puts a Butterfinger down. She steps back. Everyone is silent.
Akari / Tifa: A BUTTERFINGER?! ARE YOU UNHOLY?!?!?!?!
Akari quickly sets the Butterfinger on fire and throws it out the window. A 'boom' is heard.
Akari / Tifa: *breathes out* Good thing we got rid of that eeevil substance... *shudder* And where the hell is all the candy?!
Re / Sephiroth: Well, I guess no one could get any...
Akari / Tifa: WHY!?
Tifa / horse head: There were no places to trick or treat!
Takt / Sephiroth: Oh, come on. There's Strago's house and Mojo's house and Reno's house...
Everyone: ...
Takt / Sephiroth: ...I see your point.
Re / Sephiroth: This was a really boring party... Let's just go.
Akari / Tifa: NOOOOO!!!!!!!
Everyone: ...O.o
Akari / Tifa: Er... But this has to be another great fic from me!
Ryu / Cloud: It sucks.
Akari / Tifa: Wouldn't we all just be happier if Ryu died?
Everyone: YEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!
Akari / Tifa: Alrighty. *sets Ryu on fire then throws him out the window*
A 'boom' is heard. Akari smiles cheesily.
Akari / Tifa: NOW will you people stay?
Takt / Sephiroth: Yep. You see, we were gonna leave cause we all hate Ryu. :D
Akari / Tifa: Well, now... What do we do?
Everyone: ...
Re / Sephiroth: Can we set more people on fire and throw them out the window? =DDD *pulls out weapon* I'll help too!
Akari / Tifa: O_o;; No, that's okay...
Takt / Sephiroth: Um, can we throw Rude out the window?
Akari / Tifa: Why?
Takt / Sephiroth: Cause he has no hair! AND I LIKE HAIR!!! *cries*
Akari / Tifa: O_o;; What's he doing here anyway?
Rude: :D Hiya.
Akari / Tifa: *sigh* Okay... *sets Rude on fire and throws him out the window*
Someone who sounds a lot like Ryu: Hey, what are you doing here?
Suddenly a 'boom' is heard.
Akari / Tifa: =DDD That was fun.
Re / Sephiroth: Hey... Look... Reno's here!
Reno: *stumbles out of the corner and walks over to Cid* Heh heh... *hic* You're pretty damn hotsh! :D *hic*
Cid: ...O_o
Reno: Wanna have a *hic* good time?
Cid: ...Yeah.
Reno: :DDD WOOHOO!!!!!
Reno and Cid jump out the window.
Akari / Tifa: O_O Now... What the hell was that??
Re / Sephiroth: Results of the author putting random crap into the fic. *glare*
Akari / Tifa: *sweatdrop* Er... Yeah... Sure...
Re / Sephiroth: So, what now?
Someone who sounds a lot like Edgar: *cough*
Akari / Tifa: Who was that?
Someone who sounds a lot like Edgar: Me, Edgar.
Akari / Tifa: Alrighty. O.o
Edgar: Let's have a strip party!!!
The Playboy bunnies: YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Irvine: W00T!!!!!! *jumps on the table and takes off his top*
All the women: O_O
Everyone looks away from Irvine in disgust.
Irvine: *sigh* Why does everyone hate me?
Akari / Tifa: Er... Maybe it's the fact that you have boobs...
Irvine: ... *examines self* o.O I do...
Akari / Tifa: *shudder* Okay, let's all kill Irvine!
Everyone: YEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Akari sets Irvine on fire and throws him out the window. Someone who sounds a lot like Ryu says 'Hey, what are you doing here?' again. And then a 'boom' is heard, followed by girlish screams.
Edgar: O.o Alrighty... Now where are the damn women?!
Quistis: We changed our minds. We don't wanna strip.
Yuna: Yeah, we already did.
Lulu: Let someone else strip.
Edgar: ...:D Okie!!!
Edgar jumps on the table and takes off his top.
All the women: Ehhh... *drool*
All the men: *glare at Edgar*
Zell / Kero: LET'S GET HIM!!!
Edgar: *girlish voice* Eeek!!!
The guys tackle Edgar and begin to beat the crap outta him.
Tifa / horse head: *sigh* Damn. This is the worst party ever.
Akari / Tifa: Well, I guess it's time for you people to leave...
Everyone: *mumble*
Everyone leaves except Tifa, Re, Takt, and Akari.
Tifa / horse head: This was the crappiest fanfic you've ever written.
Akari / Tifa: Hey, it can't be over already!
Re / Sephiroth: It is.
Akari / Tifa: Well, don't you people have any ideas?
Re / Sephiroth: No.
Takt / Sephiroth: Nope.
Tifa / horse head: Get the hell out of my house. *glare*
Akari / Tifa: Well, I guess we should just go.
Re / Sephiroth: Wait... Remember those characters who we didn't get to see do anything? :D
Akari / Tifa: Er... No. o.O
Re / Sephiroth: They disappeared in the middle of the fic! So let's follow them with a hidden camera!!!
Takt / Sephiroth: Yeah!! *pulls out a video camera*
Tifa: Whatever. *runs away*
Akari / Tifa: O.o Alright, let's go!!
The authors run to the field outside the Wall Market.
Akari / Tifa: Serge should be knocked out in this field... Remember back in the last chapter when Crono hit him? ^_^
Re / Sephiroth: Look...
Re points to Serge, lying half-dead in the middle of the field. The authors run into a nearby bush to hide.
Serge / Crono: ... *stands up* ... *starts walking away*
Re / Sephiroth: HEY!!! Get back here! We have to videotape you doing weird stuff! *cheesy grin*
Serge / Crono: *sigh* ... *walks back* ... *stands there, doing nothing*
Everyone: ...
Re / Sephiroth: Well?
Serge / Crono: *takes a breath* WHY DID THOSE $%@&#*$^&#@$^(#@$&#%&$^(#@&@^%$*&^#@*&S LEAVE ME HERE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Everyone: O.O
Serge / Crono: ...I'm done. *walks away*
Takt / Sephiroth: Okay, that was really boring. Let's go spy on someone else! =D
The three run to Mideel and look into the cracked earth.
Akari / Tifa: In the last chapter, we never did find out what happened to Barret... *wink wink*
Akari drags Re and Takt into the Lifestream. They look around.
Re / Sephiroth: ...Nothing's here.
Takt / Sephiroth: O.o Wait...
Takt points to something floating in the distance. They swim over. Barret is there, probably dead.
Everyone: O_o;;
Re / Sephiroth: Alrighty... What now??
Akari / Tifa: We can drag him to the surface.
Barret / Mr. T: That's okay, foo, I'm alright!
Everyone: ......AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
The authors swim to the surface and get out of the Lifestream.
Akari / Tifa: That was just weird.
Re / Sephiroth: Hey, let's go to the Gold Saucer!
Takt / Sephiroth: Yeah, I think Kimahri was dead there...
The party goes to the Gold Saucer. Kimahri is lying on the ground there, dead. A few people walk by and step on him. Crunching sounds are heard.
Akari / Tifa: O_o;; Maybe we should help him.
Takt / Sephiroth: Nah, he's dead.
The three stand there for a while, watching as Kimahri gets squished by various people. One of them is Auron.
Re / Sephiroth: O.o What's Auron doing there??
Auron / Sephiroth: *walks over* Hi! I disappeared in the middle of the fic. *glares at Akari*
Akari / Tifa: *sweatdrop* Heh heh... Yeah...
Auron / Sephiroth: So... What are you guys doing?
Akari / Tifa: Well, the fic's over. So we were just leaving.
Auron / Sephiroth: But... I wanna be in it now!!!
Re / Sephiroth: Too bad. *evil grin*
Auron / Sephiroth: NOOOOOOO!!!!! *casually walks away*
Takt / Sephiroth: O.o Anyway, look... It's SEPHIROTH!!!!!
The authors run over to Sephiroth, who's standing in the Gold Saucer.
Sephiroth: =D You again!
Re / Sephiroth: Can I have your autograph?
Sephiroth signs a paper. Again, Kuja walks over and eats it.
Kuja: NO! I'M THE BEST VILLAIN!!!!
Everyone: ...
Akari / Tifa: You're wearing a crotch buckle thing... And a frilly purple vest... What do you think that tells us about you?
Kuja: ... *sigh* Why am I so misunderstood?? *cries*
Everyone: o.O
Kuja: That's it! I challenge you to a duel!
Re / Sephiroth: I wanna battle him. Kuja always wanted to replace Sephiroth and while doing that, he's gotten in my way! Now I'm gonna get revenge!!
A bunch of Re's flashbacks are shown... First, she's standing on the set of FFVII. Aeris's death scene is going on. Suddenly, Sephiroth accidentally slashes him own hand with his Masamune.
Sephiroth: Ahh!!! I got a frikkin cut!!! HEEELP!!!
Director: *sigh* We need a stunt double!
Re / Sephiroth: I'll go on! =DDD
Re runs onstage and gets into a pose.
Director: Okay, action!
Re is about to slash Aeris when suddenly, Kuja runs on the set and grabs the Masamune. He kills Aeris himself and runs off the set, laughing evilly.
Kuja: MWUAHAHAHA!!!!! NOW I'M PERMANENTLY IN THE GAME!!!!!!! *runs away*
Director: O.o Well, we can just delete that scene. But our best Aeris is gone! Noooo!!!!!
A really fat smelly guy dressed in a pink dress walks on. He grins to show that 90% of his teeth are missing.
Fat smelly guy: =B
Director: o.O Good enough...
Sephiroth runs onstage.
Sephiroth: I'm okay! I can get back into the scene!
Re / Sephiroth: NOOOO!!!! KUJA JUST RUINED MY CHANCE OF BEING IN FFVII!!!!!!!!!!
Flashback ends.
Re / Sephiroth: I have to destroy him!
Akari / Tifa: There's too much déja` vu in this fanfic... *faints*
Everyone: O.o
Takt / Sephiroth: Oh well. Beat the crap outta him!
Re / Sephiroth: =D Gladly. *pulls out weapon* REKKA SHINEN!!!!!!
Re attacks Kuja but suddenly, everything turns black. As the smoke clears up, one person is standing...
Takt / Sephiroth: Um... Maybe I should move out of the way. ^^;;
Takt steps away. One person is standing... And that is a Kuja-shaped pile of ashes.
Takt / Sephiroth: O.o That's not a person!
Whatever. Re is standing. Takt runs up to the ashes and pokes them. The pile collapses.
Takt / Sephiroth: Yay, he's dead!
Re / Sephiroth: No he isn't... *pulls out a vacuum and grins evilly* But he's gonna be!!
Re uses the vacuum on the ashes and Kuja is sucked up. She turns to Sephiroth.
Re / Sephiroth: Can I have your autograph now? =D
Sephiroth: Okie! *gives Re his autograph*
Re / Sephiroth: YAY!!! *glomps Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: AAAHHH!!!!! *tries to run out of the way but gets knocked down*
Takt / Sephiroth: O.o *turns away slowly and sees Akari* Hey, HAIR!!!
Takt runs over to Akari, who's still knocked out. He starts braiding her hair.
Takt / Sephiroth: =DDD Hey, let's talk to dead people!!
Re / Sephiroth: o.O Whatever...
Suddenly Akari gets up.
Akari / Tifa: I'm not dead~! =DDD
Everyone: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *runs away*
Akari / Tifa: O_o;; Well, that was the stupidest fic I've ever written.
Akari walks off. Suddenly the earth cracks open and she falls into the Lifestream. And since the Lifestream is really green acid, she dies and now can't write any more fanfics! THE END!!!! =DDD
~*~
Um... Okay, that's all. O.o Please review, everyone! Thanks to everyone who did and gave me support as I wrote this fic. ^^ And most of all, thanks to Re for co-authoring and co-hosting this fic!! It was great working with you and your fics rule!!! ^_^ Thanks again to everyone. Now bye. o.O