DISCLAIMER: Okay. I don't own Pearl Harbor or any of these characters, as you all know. Please enjoy my fic!

I wiped the tears from my eyes as folded the letters from Rafe. He can't be dead. He just can't be. This was the first chance I had to read the last two letters from Rafe. They'd come just a day after Danny told me that Rafe died. A few tears dropped on to the paper as I put the letters in the desk drawer. I heard Betty and Sandra in the other room laughing and talking. I pushed the door open and said. "I'm gonna walk over to the clinic and........" I paused. What was I gonna do? "Inventory supplies or something."

Sandra piped up. "But we just did that yester....." Betty elbowed her in the ribs, "We understand Ev. We're here if you need someone to talk to."

"Thanks," I whispered. I let the screen door bang shut. Understand! How could they possibly understand? They couldn't know what I'm going through. They couldn't. I stopped and stared at the clinic. Why are we even here? Nothing will ever happen. The only patients we had we the sailors and flybys that forgot to put on sunscreen.

The place was absolutely deserted. Not even our usual sunburn patients. I hope we don't have any kind of emergency. Emergency! At Pearl Harbor. I'm gonna have to write that one down. The place was entirely white. It was so bright my eyes began to hurt. Yes I was true we had inventoried the supplies yesterday, but I had to get away. I looked at the picture I had on my desk.... Rafe. That was the first picture I had of him. I guess it would be the last too.

Oh god! Why oh why is it so hard to forget? I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Rafe. Like at the medical check when he just flew through the eye chart, even then I think I knew I loved him. I guess making him repeat it and read it backwards then passing him anyway was just a bit of torture.

Or when Rafe popped the cork from the wine bottle and it hit his nose. That was the first time he kissed me. I'll never forget that. And then after he told me he was leaving and then didn't take me to a hotel room. There is no way I will ever forget about Rafe. Not as long as I live.

That's it! Live. If I die I could be with Rafe again. But how could I die around this place. Damn! Why did we have to some to Pearl now? Couldn't we have stayed in a place where I could easily.... I saw a flash of light suddenly. The sun was reflecting off of a medical tray. There was a scalpel lying on the tray...that's what had caught my eye.

I looked around again just to make sure no one was there. Here I come Rafe. No more being alone. I slowly began to press the scalpel into my wrist. Suddenly I felt someone's hand close around my other wrist. "Evelyn!" It was Betty. "What are you doing?"

"Let go of me," I growled dangerously. "I'm gonna be with Rafe again! Betty just let me do this. I won't suffer anymore!"

Betty grasped my shoulders and shook me. "Evelyn listen to me! Think about all the suffering you'd cause all of us! Don't you think I'd miss you, Sandra and the other girls would too? And what about Danny he's already lost his best friend he doesn't need to lose another one!"

I let the scalpel fall to the floor. "Don't tell anyone, Betty."