Rating: G
Genre: Humour and a smidgen of Romance (if you look very, very closely)
Summary: A sub-story within a sub-story is examined…
Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Harry Potter; that pleasure goes to JK Rowling – but I do own the characters and the half-formed plot that are not mentioned in the fabulous books
A/N: Many thanks to besnaped for reviewing Chapter I … you are very sweet. This chapter is dedicated to you!
Chapter II – The Madness of Long-Winded Unwritten RulesThere is an unwritten rule amongst the Professors and Work Colleagues of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (well, actually there are ten unwritten rules and are kept by even the most rebellious of men, women and beings, but only two are appropriate and relevant in this story…);
"Thou-"
(this is rather an old rule, instated by Rowena Ravenclaw, herself)
"-shalt not reveal, neither flaunt thou's personal relationships in the teaching areas, neither in those areas surrounding the teaching areas, and definitely not towardth the students. The pupils at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry are here to learnth the art of magick, not the art of the 'gossip grapevine'. Relationships especially amongst staff to other members of staff, though isn't totally frowned upon should be kept at thee own private business, any hanky-panky-"
('hanky-panky' was added by Salazar Slytherin, by the annoyance of Godric Gryffindor … Salazar had travelled to the future many a time for holidays in the Caribbean with his long-term boyfriend, and in the process had developed a fondness towards twentieth century muggle-slang)
"-shall be doneth with a locketh door. Neither shalt ye commit to a relationship with any pupil, for this the highest sin for a teacher to maketh. As a final note, may thoust all be blessed with fruitful lives with thou spouse, girl/boyfriend, flatmate, etc, etc, etc…"
(It was believed that Helga Hufflepuff had tried to reduce this to a much clearer, more manageable unwritten rule because it ended up being that only the future headmasters and mistresses could be bothered learning the rule word perfect. All other staff just took Rule Three to be "keep all sexual relationships private and secret from students". It was a shame that Helga couldn't think of it, or it could have been possible that it would be rather tactless and politically incorrect to say 'sexual' all those years ago. Hmm…)
(It was also believed that someone overdid all the 'thou', 'thee' and '-th's … purely for entertainment values against the young, inexperienced Professors being initiated into the staff at Hogwarts by attempting to recite the unwritten rule word for word, but that is just a rumour and cannot be substantiated)
This rule is so well kept … and probably not entirely because of the fact that it is a school rule, many members didn't like the idea of themselves being teased by the students. (Neatly forgetting that they, themselves, teased (replace 'teased' with 'give detentions to') the students whenever they came across them in compromising positions…)
The slightly more daft and slow-witted of readers might not realise why this rule has been so carefully laid out at this present moment in time, when this unwritten rule is rarely spoken of.
(and it was very difficult to make an unwritten rule, writeable, you know)
Even Professors and Caretakers have children.
(Yes, even Flich has kids)
And these children before they are the age of serious tutorage of the magickal arts live along four corridors and a courtyard that are unplottable to the even most persistent of mapmakers. The boy Sam, whom we met before, is the three-year old great-great-grandson of the present headmaster of Hogwarts; Professor Albus Dumbledore (affectionately nicknamed 'Bumblebee' by his (close) relatives and very dear friends). Sam is the child of Professor Severus Snape and Madam Poppy Pomfey's eldest niece, Diana.
And this is where we can (finally) begin our story.
On that fateful day of the introduction of bonbons to the magickal community, in the Snape Wing of the Staff Quarters, Severus and Diana had a 'conversation' (otherwise known as Diana knocking some sense into her husband). It was the most serious of matters … and I am being very, honest to God, serious at the moment.
Severus had not appeared for the purchase of his eldest son's first wand. Markus Snape was starting Hogwarts that September using his mother's maiden name.
(Markus' use of his mother's maiden name was in accordance of Rule Eight of the Unwritten Rules. There is a very long winded version of the rule, that (again) only headmasters and mistresses could actually be bothered to remember the rule. These people who had some bizarre sort of control on the school felt an obligation to these unwritten rules – they are a thousand years old these rules. Anyway. Back to Markus … Rule Eight basically said that to avoid favouritism and certain situations from occurring, children, nieces and nephews, if attending Hogwarts at the same time as an employee of Hogwarts, the relationship between the pair should be 'ignored', for a lack of a better word. Therefore, if needed, a different surname would be used and a spell placed on the child so they couldn't say 'father', 'mother', 'uncle', etc, towards those people in all areas of the school – barring the staff and family quarters)
I need to explain something, as Severus and Diana's 'conversation' will make no sense if I do not.
A wizard or witch's first wand … it is a very important part of any person with magic in their veins, but more significance is put on it if the child is born from a magical family. On their eleventh birthday the child would go to their country's wand-maker so that the wand could chose the wizard or witch. It was like a coming of age. A magical confirmation or baptism, so to speak, and for a father to miss such a momentous occasion … well, it's a terrible, terrible thing, and not something to take very lightly or to be easily forgiven by the son or daughter on their eleventh birthday.
"Severus Oliver Snape!"
(Someone had a very bad sense of humour when they christened Severus. It is highly probable that it was his mother who did the deed – she had been a Dumbledore before she had married Severus' father)
"How dare you miss your son's first wand? How do you think he is? He is in his room trying his best not to cry – all because his father says that he has to learn how to be a man. You have no idea how much he respects you and loves you, heck, he adores you! And it doesn't matter if there is a special staff meeting, a thirty-person detention or an invitation to go and have afternoon tea with the Dark Lord himself-"
(Actually, the Dark Lord was always partial to afternoon tea and always set up his appointments around it. Sorry, Diana is annoyed about the interruption)
"Now you go and apologise to your son as best as you can. And I want you to call in sick tomorrow-" Severus tried to interrupt but was cut off. You just didn't cut in when Diana placed the fear of a hundred suns in you … "-Don't you dare try to cut in Severus Oliver Snape. You will call in sick and spend the day with your family. You know, I bet Sam doesn't even remember your face, and sometimes I wonder whether you remember that you have a daughter, let alone what her name is." Diana during her speech had gradually become louder, and when Severus dropped his head, his hair hiding his face, the action making his pair of words seem more quiet and humble.
"I'm sorry."
Diana calmed down as quickly as she went up, earning her natural right of flaming red hair, and went towards him to give her husband a light hug. "I know, but it is not me you have to say sorry to. Tomorrow," she decided, "we go and have a picnic, all five of us. Now go to your class – you're in no fit mood to see your son."
"The students will know something's off."
Diana laughed, "Just be your usual moody, bossy self and they will be complaining about you too much to take too much notice."
Snape chuckled (even in the presence of his wife, he never truly laughs), and kissed his childhood sweetheart on her forehead. "Too true, hmm, definitely Potter and Draco. I just love watching the two together – such entertainment … and Longbottom and Parkinson … she knows just enough to delay any explosions…"
And so Severus moved slowly out of the hug given by his wife, and started to walk towards the dungeons, already knee-deep into his potions, unaware of the strangely blissful look on Diana's face.
Now, there was the man she had married eighteen years ago.