Here is chapter two.
Same warning as before - This fic deals with child abuse. If you read the first chapter, you would know how. If you didn't, you shouldn't be here. This fic deals with feelings, thoughts, actions and reactions, and at this time does not include unnecessary violent details. I reserve the right to include what I deem necessary later on. If this is a sensitive subject matter for you, please do not read any further.
I do not own Hey Arnold or any characters within.
"Ramifications"
Helga stood in the hallway silently. She hesitated, not really wanting to enter the classroom. She grasped the cool cylinder of the doorknob in her hand and held her breath. Inside she could hear the voices of her classmates. They sounded excited. They were talking about her.
She sighed softly, then twisted the features of her face to look impassive. She'd practiced for hours in front of a mirror when she was younger, schooling herself to look any number of ways. She'd practiced so long, it had become habit, then natural. Now, she could just think about what she wanted and it just happened. It was all so perfectly controlled, so cold. She didn't know if she could go without the control anymore. She had forgotten how.
Helga's fingers tightened around the doorknob as she twisted it open.
"...she really said that?" She heard Arnold say as the door cracked open. "That doesn't sound like her." Had he been there? She couldn't remember. It didn't really matter. It was hot gossip now. Tomorrow, nobody would care.
As the door opened fully, all conversation silenced. She could feel the eyes of everyone staring into her as she entered the room. She limped slightly on her first step and internally frowned. She refused to be intimidated, and absolutely refused to let them see her hurt. She staunchly assumed an air of total disdain and moved fluidly towards the back of the room, viciously ignoring the burning in her leg.
Some kid was just about to sit in the seat she wanted, back row in the corner by the window. She glared at him and he moved quickly, almost tripping over himself in an effort to get away. In her mind she was laughing bitterly. All it took was one look at her to scare people away. That's all she was - a bully, a bratty kid who would beat down anyone who didn't give in to her. Even other bullies hated her. No wonder no one wanted her. She was worthless.
She said nothing as she slipped into her seat. She settled herself quietly and immediately focused on a point outside the window, trying to ignore everything around her. Unfortunately, their purposely hushed voices kept breaking through. Helga closed her eyes, and blocked out everything, reciting an old poem in her head until her head was clear.
She continued to stare out the window, ignoring everything she could for the entire morning session of class. It was only when the teacher directly addressed her that her concentration broke and she finally glanced away from the window. The teacher was standing right next to her, looking at her with half concern, half annoyance. The rest of the class was staring at her also. Surprisingly she could not hear one snicker. They were all staring in anticipation, waiting for her to speak.
"Well?"
Helga did no respond. She stared into the teacher's eyes and said nothing. What he saw in her eyes scared him. He'd never seen anything of that sort in one of his student's eyes before. He gulped and then asked again.
"Are you listening?"
She sat perfectly still and did not respond. He looked away from her eyes, he couldn't take it anymore. He wrote her out a pass and asked her to leave class.
She did so, calmly gathering her books and walking out with neither contempt nor apology in her steps. She just walked forward one step at a time.
She headed toward the principal's office. She didn't bother looking at the slip, she just went. She sat down on the couch beside his door and waited. It was nearly twenty minutes before he wandered out and noticed her sitting there.
"Well what have we got here?"
He frowned as he got no response. He looked at the comments on the pass and frowned deeper.
"Listen, I won't tolerate this kind of behavior, now go to the shrink.. uh.. counselor as you were told.
She registered a bit of surprise, then silently took the pass back and walked out, oblivious to his shocked stare.
Her limp returned a little as she walked through the empty halls. With no one to see it, she could try to ease the pain of her leg a little, even if the pain inside her chest wasn't easing any. Had anyone been looking, they would have seen her limp all the way up to the office door, then the limp suddenly disappear as if it had never been.
Helga opened the door without a care as to who might be in there. Fortunately, Dr. Bliss was alone, sifting through some paperwork.
"Why hello, Helga," She said, "How are you doing today?"
Helga didn't answer, she just placed the pass on the desk Dr. Bliss was sitting at and quietly moved to the couch, laying down. Dr. Bliss picked up the pass and read it carefully. She realized that there was something very wrong here, and that she'd have to proceed carefully.
"It seems you've had a rough day today, Helga," She waited carefully for a response but got none. "I haven't seen you for awhile, how is Arnold?" A slight, noncommittal shrug, but besides that, nothing. Helga had never been this cold before. Quite the opposite, she had always been very passionate about what happened in her life, and especially about her secret. Dr. Bliss began to get worried.
"Well, Helga, how are things at home? Has your family started to pay more attention to you?" Dr. Bliss was alarmed to see Helga's face drain of all color. She started shaking a little on the couch, but she still didn't answer.
Dr. Bliss wanted to pursue that subject, but felt it was the wrong time. Instead, she attempted to change the subject. "Tell me, then, how Phoebe is doing today. Have you two decided..." Dr. Bliss broke off abruptly, seeing hot tears begin to roll down Helga's cheeks.
As soon as Dr. Bliss had mentioned Phoebe's name, Helga's iron control had broken. The dam that had been holding in all the pain and horror and fear Helga had been feeling that day shattered and Helga reeled as her defenses began to crumble. She couldn't stop the slow moan that echoed in her head, nor could she control the tears that were now streaming down her face. She could feel the burning sobs coming and she tried desperately to suppress them. This caused her to have a fit of muted hiccups, which shook her body.
Dr. Bliss could only watch as Helga's body started to spasm with hiccupping sobs. She felt an acute pain in her chest. As a psychiatrist, she was supposed to maintain an amount of emotional detachment from her patients. However, as a child psychologist, she found she was required to form a bond of sorts with each child, or else they could not trust her, and she would not be able to get through to them. This required a very delicate balance between objectivity and empathy. However, it also held the constant risk of growing too attached to or involved in one child's life, especially when the child came from an obviously dysfunctional and abusive home life like Helga did.
As far as Dr. Bliss knew, the abuse Helga suffered at home was mainly a form of mental abuse, specifically neglect. Except for a few small things, like school lunches, Helga's parents didn't seem to neglect her physically. She didn't seem to be lacking a place to stay, or food to eat(mostly), or clean clothes. She was growing up a normal healthy child - on the outside. Mentally, and emotionally, though, she had been severely damaged. The fact that her parents barely acknowledged having a second daughter had all but destroyed Helga's self-esteem.
That was one of the reasons she fought so hard to preserve a secret obsession. It was also why she felt she had to physically combat anything that had the potential to hurt her emotionally. It only stood to reason that she felt she had to protect herself from further pain. After all, she'd suffered so much of it already. The unfortunate result of this was that she'd also grown dangerously disattached from other people. She had trouble fitting into a group of other kids because she was constantly pushing them away, even while unconsciously yearning to let them in. In fact, Dr. Bliss had concluded that it was only Helga's long standing obsession for Arnold that kept her from becoming incapable of attaching to anyone. Having 'bonded' with him at a critical time in her life, and having maintained the love she'd felt until now, albeit secretly, Helga had retained some amount of empathy and compassion. That was strengthened by her friendship with Phoebe.
But it had all begun with the forced detachment from her own parents.
Dr. Bliss had to admire Helga's ability to remain so strong even with all she had been through. She was one tough little girl.
But watching Helga now, crying on her couch, Dr. Bliss couldn't help but consider that the abuse she was suffering at home may be more than just mental or emotional. She had noted some faded bruises on Helga's face and neck. They had almost faded completely. Sure, children damaged themselves all the time, but these almost looked like someone had tried to strangle her. That coupled with the fear that had been plainly evident on Helga's face when Dr. Bliss had mentioned her family, and her current breakdown, caused Dr. Bliss to begin to suspect that Helga was suffering some physical abuse at home also.
It made sense, the more Dr. Bliss thought about it. She had met both Bob and Mirriam Pataki on a couple of occasions. Bob had the personality for abuse. He was above all controlling. She had noticed this right away. He liked to control things, his beeper empire, his family. It gave him a taste of power. He did not enjoy anyone contradicting him and he did not enjoy not getting his own way. He also had little empathy for anyone but himself, and did not mind using any means - no matter how dishonest - to get where he wanted to go. Another thing she had noticed was that Bob liked to put on appearances. With him, it was all about image. When something did not fit into his image, he eliminated it.
Dr. Bliss reeled back a moment, gaping at the enormity of this new revelation. This new, physical, aspect of the abuse must have begun recently, or Helga would not be reacting so strongly now. Either that or... well that was not something Dr. Bliss wanted to consider was happening to Helga, though she would keep her mind open to that option. For now she would concentrate on finding a way of easing the physical abuse.
Without another moment's thought, she reached down and swept Helga into a comforting hug.
Helga started as she felt arms encircle her and pull her into a tight hug. Opening her eyes, she saw the look of concern and compassion on Dr. Bliss's face. Helga didn't try to fight it this time. She just gave in and hugged back, as hard as she could. Somehow, she felt that Dr. Bliss understood. She held the embrace tight, until her sobs began to ease into soft whimpers. Then Dr. Bliss gently pushed Helga back until she was again lying on the couch. Gripping Helga's hand tightly, she told her that she should try to get a little sleep and that she would wake Helga up for class a little later. Helga didn't fight it, she just closed her eyes and in moments was asleep.
Doctor Bliss remained by Helga's side for a minute or two longer, to be sure Helga was resting, then she got up and walked back to her desk. She was angry now, angry at herself for not realizing this sooner, angry at Helga's parents for putting a child - their child at that - through something like this, and angry that she lived in a society where there were so many rules and regulations put in place to protect "confidentiality" that she could not legally tell anyone what was happening to her young patient. Tears came unbidden to her eyes as she pulled out her legal books and papers. She would find a way around this. She had to - before someone got seriously hurt.
Dr. Bliss didn't wake Helga until the lunch bell rang. She figured Helga could use some time outside, perhaps with her friends. Dr. Bliss produced two sandwiches and offered one to Helga, but she refused with a short shake of the head. She wasn't hungry. Dr. Bliss didn't mind. She wrote out a pass and sent Helga outside with a reminder that she could come back any time she wanted to for any reason.
Helga nodded and walked outside slowly. She wasn't really registering her surroundings. She squinted as she stepped out into the sunlight. No one really noticed her arrival. That was okay. She didn't think she'd like having the spotlight right now.
Shading her eyes from the sun, she surveyed the playground. She could see everyone gathered at the monkey bars, loudly debating something, egged on by Harold and Rhonda. She briefly wondered what the debate would be like if she were leading it, but quickly squashed those thoughts. Those days were over, now, and thinking about it would only make the pain worse.
She diverted her eyes and immediately caught sight of a group of three people near the jungle jim. All three had their backs to Helga. The girl sat on the ground while the two boys stood over her, focusing on her for some reason. Helga gulped, almost choking against the large lump that had risen in her throat at the sight of her best friend. That Arnold and his friend were with her didn't help anything. They were all a part of something she could no longer be, now. Pained, she turned away, unconsciously letting her limp return as she headed toward an empty corner of the playground.
He wasn't sure what made him look up just then. A thought, a feeling like he was being watched. She was standing there, silent, at the entrance of the school. He watched as she turned away, a somnolent gloomy air surrounding her. He couldn't help but be disappointed in her, after the way she had treated her best friend. If she was a real friend, he and Gerald would not be here comforting Phoebe as she cried *again* over what Helga had said. That's not what friends do.
Yet, looking at her, he was finding it hard to stay mad. He hadn't been with the others that day, Grandpa had needed some help with some chores around the boarding house and Arnold had stayed behind to help. All he had heard were second hand reports of how mean Helga had been - how she had turned on them all. Looking at her now, he couldn't see her that way. She didn't look like she had won, and she wasn't acting as if she was better than the rest of them. Instead, she seemed... defeated. She seemed to have shrunk into herself. She looked smaller than he had ever seen her look before. He wished he knew what was going on here.
Arnold continued to ponder as he watched Helga walk toward the opposite end of the playground. Was she limping? He thought back to when she had come into class that day. Had she been limping then? He didn't think so. Had something happened to her after she had left the class? That seemed unlikely. All the other bullies were avoiding Helga right now. Rumors of what happened had escalated so that Helga's sanity was now in doubt as much as Curly's. So why was she limping now?
Out of the corner of his eye, Arnold noticed Brainy silently following Helga. Arnold shook his head. Did that kid have a death wish? He watched silently as the two neared their destination, wondering just what would happen.
Helga heard the wheezing behind her as she sat down, but ignored it. She wasn't going to hit him today. She didn't think she could ever hit him again. Maybe if she ignored him, he'd take the hint.
He didn't.
He stood there, a moment, awkwardly staring downwards, then he sat beside her, ignoring the deafening silence between them. The silence was okay, he'd lived in silence much of his life. Sometimes the silence could convey more than sound.
Helga tried to ignore him, but was finding it hard, especially when he was sitting beside her, just looking at her. Finally she gave up and looked back at him. His eyes were blank. They held neither scorn nor pity. They were neither threatening nor were they friendly. He was just there, just a kid, just a stranger.
Helga felt something click as she and Brainy shared this moment. Here was Brainy, the annoyance, the stalker, the kid who was *always* behind her at just the wrong moment, who she actually shuddered at when she thought about him. This was the *one* guy that she would not want to get stuck with ever for anything.
But he was here.
And he understood. Somehow she could just sense that he understood her completely. And that was something amazing.
The moment ended and Helga looked away. The atmosphere wasn't uncomfortable anymore. It was just.. neutral. Blank, numb, the same way she was feeling. She couldn't decide whether she wanted Brainy to stay or whether she wanted him to leave her alone.
She heard the sound of a paper bag crumpling beside her, and suddenly realized that something was being held up beside her. She looked up to see Brainy offering half of his sandwich to her. She looked up a moment, into his face, and saw a slight entreaty.
She hesitated, then accepted the sandwich and took a bite.
The silence was still deafening, but it was okay. It wasn't a scary silence, ominous or uncomfortable. It was... companionable.
Sometimes silence can convey more than sound.
A.N. - No this is not a Brainy/Helga shipper. If you didn't get it, he offered her friendship, she accepted it. That's all.
Same warning as before - This fic deals with child abuse. If you read the first chapter, you would know how. If you didn't, you shouldn't be here. This fic deals with feelings, thoughts, actions and reactions, and at this time does not include unnecessary violent details. I reserve the right to include what I deem necessary later on. If this is a sensitive subject matter for you, please do not read any further.
I do not own Hey Arnold or any characters within.
"Ramifications"
Helga stood in the hallway silently. She hesitated, not really wanting to enter the classroom. She grasped the cool cylinder of the doorknob in her hand and held her breath. Inside she could hear the voices of her classmates. They sounded excited. They were talking about her.
She sighed softly, then twisted the features of her face to look impassive. She'd practiced for hours in front of a mirror when she was younger, schooling herself to look any number of ways. She'd practiced so long, it had become habit, then natural. Now, she could just think about what she wanted and it just happened. It was all so perfectly controlled, so cold. She didn't know if she could go without the control anymore. She had forgotten how.
Helga's fingers tightened around the doorknob as she twisted it open.
"...she really said that?" She heard Arnold say as the door cracked open. "That doesn't sound like her." Had he been there? She couldn't remember. It didn't really matter. It was hot gossip now. Tomorrow, nobody would care.
As the door opened fully, all conversation silenced. She could feel the eyes of everyone staring into her as she entered the room. She limped slightly on her first step and internally frowned. She refused to be intimidated, and absolutely refused to let them see her hurt. She staunchly assumed an air of total disdain and moved fluidly towards the back of the room, viciously ignoring the burning in her leg.
Some kid was just about to sit in the seat she wanted, back row in the corner by the window. She glared at him and he moved quickly, almost tripping over himself in an effort to get away. In her mind she was laughing bitterly. All it took was one look at her to scare people away. That's all she was - a bully, a bratty kid who would beat down anyone who didn't give in to her. Even other bullies hated her. No wonder no one wanted her. She was worthless.
She said nothing as she slipped into her seat. She settled herself quietly and immediately focused on a point outside the window, trying to ignore everything around her. Unfortunately, their purposely hushed voices kept breaking through. Helga closed her eyes, and blocked out everything, reciting an old poem in her head until her head was clear.
She continued to stare out the window, ignoring everything she could for the entire morning session of class. It was only when the teacher directly addressed her that her concentration broke and she finally glanced away from the window. The teacher was standing right next to her, looking at her with half concern, half annoyance. The rest of the class was staring at her also. Surprisingly she could not hear one snicker. They were all staring in anticipation, waiting for her to speak.
"Well?"
Helga did no respond. She stared into the teacher's eyes and said nothing. What he saw in her eyes scared him. He'd never seen anything of that sort in one of his student's eyes before. He gulped and then asked again.
"Are you listening?"
She sat perfectly still and did not respond. He looked away from her eyes, he couldn't take it anymore. He wrote her out a pass and asked her to leave class.
She did so, calmly gathering her books and walking out with neither contempt nor apology in her steps. She just walked forward one step at a time.
She headed toward the principal's office. She didn't bother looking at the slip, she just went. She sat down on the couch beside his door and waited. It was nearly twenty minutes before he wandered out and noticed her sitting there.
"Well what have we got here?"
He frowned as he got no response. He looked at the comments on the pass and frowned deeper.
"Listen, I won't tolerate this kind of behavior, now go to the shrink.. uh.. counselor as you were told.
She registered a bit of surprise, then silently took the pass back and walked out, oblivious to his shocked stare.
Her limp returned a little as she walked through the empty halls. With no one to see it, she could try to ease the pain of her leg a little, even if the pain inside her chest wasn't easing any. Had anyone been looking, they would have seen her limp all the way up to the office door, then the limp suddenly disappear as if it had never been.
Helga opened the door without a care as to who might be in there. Fortunately, Dr. Bliss was alone, sifting through some paperwork.
"Why hello, Helga," She said, "How are you doing today?"
Helga didn't answer, she just placed the pass on the desk Dr. Bliss was sitting at and quietly moved to the couch, laying down. Dr. Bliss picked up the pass and read it carefully. She realized that there was something very wrong here, and that she'd have to proceed carefully.
"It seems you've had a rough day today, Helga," She waited carefully for a response but got none. "I haven't seen you for awhile, how is Arnold?" A slight, noncommittal shrug, but besides that, nothing. Helga had never been this cold before. Quite the opposite, she had always been very passionate about what happened in her life, and especially about her secret. Dr. Bliss began to get worried.
"Well, Helga, how are things at home? Has your family started to pay more attention to you?" Dr. Bliss was alarmed to see Helga's face drain of all color. She started shaking a little on the couch, but she still didn't answer.
Dr. Bliss wanted to pursue that subject, but felt it was the wrong time. Instead, she attempted to change the subject. "Tell me, then, how Phoebe is doing today. Have you two decided..." Dr. Bliss broke off abruptly, seeing hot tears begin to roll down Helga's cheeks.
As soon as Dr. Bliss had mentioned Phoebe's name, Helga's iron control had broken. The dam that had been holding in all the pain and horror and fear Helga had been feeling that day shattered and Helga reeled as her defenses began to crumble. She couldn't stop the slow moan that echoed in her head, nor could she control the tears that were now streaming down her face. She could feel the burning sobs coming and she tried desperately to suppress them. This caused her to have a fit of muted hiccups, which shook her body.
Dr. Bliss could only watch as Helga's body started to spasm with hiccupping sobs. She felt an acute pain in her chest. As a psychiatrist, she was supposed to maintain an amount of emotional detachment from her patients. However, as a child psychologist, she found she was required to form a bond of sorts with each child, or else they could not trust her, and she would not be able to get through to them. This required a very delicate balance between objectivity and empathy. However, it also held the constant risk of growing too attached to or involved in one child's life, especially when the child came from an obviously dysfunctional and abusive home life like Helga did.
As far as Dr. Bliss knew, the abuse Helga suffered at home was mainly a form of mental abuse, specifically neglect. Except for a few small things, like school lunches, Helga's parents didn't seem to neglect her physically. She didn't seem to be lacking a place to stay, or food to eat(mostly), or clean clothes. She was growing up a normal healthy child - on the outside. Mentally, and emotionally, though, she had been severely damaged. The fact that her parents barely acknowledged having a second daughter had all but destroyed Helga's self-esteem.
That was one of the reasons she fought so hard to preserve a secret obsession. It was also why she felt she had to physically combat anything that had the potential to hurt her emotionally. It only stood to reason that she felt she had to protect herself from further pain. After all, she'd suffered so much of it already. The unfortunate result of this was that she'd also grown dangerously disattached from other people. She had trouble fitting into a group of other kids because she was constantly pushing them away, even while unconsciously yearning to let them in. In fact, Dr. Bliss had concluded that it was only Helga's long standing obsession for Arnold that kept her from becoming incapable of attaching to anyone. Having 'bonded' with him at a critical time in her life, and having maintained the love she'd felt until now, albeit secretly, Helga had retained some amount of empathy and compassion. That was strengthened by her friendship with Phoebe.
But it had all begun with the forced detachment from her own parents.
Dr. Bliss had to admire Helga's ability to remain so strong even with all she had been through. She was one tough little girl.
But watching Helga now, crying on her couch, Dr. Bliss couldn't help but consider that the abuse she was suffering at home may be more than just mental or emotional. She had noted some faded bruises on Helga's face and neck. They had almost faded completely. Sure, children damaged themselves all the time, but these almost looked like someone had tried to strangle her. That coupled with the fear that had been plainly evident on Helga's face when Dr. Bliss had mentioned her family, and her current breakdown, caused Dr. Bliss to begin to suspect that Helga was suffering some physical abuse at home also.
It made sense, the more Dr. Bliss thought about it. She had met both Bob and Mirriam Pataki on a couple of occasions. Bob had the personality for abuse. He was above all controlling. She had noticed this right away. He liked to control things, his beeper empire, his family. It gave him a taste of power. He did not enjoy anyone contradicting him and he did not enjoy not getting his own way. He also had little empathy for anyone but himself, and did not mind using any means - no matter how dishonest - to get where he wanted to go. Another thing she had noticed was that Bob liked to put on appearances. With him, it was all about image. When something did not fit into his image, he eliminated it.
Dr. Bliss reeled back a moment, gaping at the enormity of this new revelation. This new, physical, aspect of the abuse must have begun recently, or Helga would not be reacting so strongly now. Either that or... well that was not something Dr. Bliss wanted to consider was happening to Helga, though she would keep her mind open to that option. For now she would concentrate on finding a way of easing the physical abuse.
Without another moment's thought, she reached down and swept Helga into a comforting hug.
Helga started as she felt arms encircle her and pull her into a tight hug. Opening her eyes, she saw the look of concern and compassion on Dr. Bliss's face. Helga didn't try to fight it this time. She just gave in and hugged back, as hard as she could. Somehow, she felt that Dr. Bliss understood. She held the embrace tight, until her sobs began to ease into soft whimpers. Then Dr. Bliss gently pushed Helga back until she was again lying on the couch. Gripping Helga's hand tightly, she told her that she should try to get a little sleep and that she would wake Helga up for class a little later. Helga didn't fight it, she just closed her eyes and in moments was asleep.
Doctor Bliss remained by Helga's side for a minute or two longer, to be sure Helga was resting, then she got up and walked back to her desk. She was angry now, angry at herself for not realizing this sooner, angry at Helga's parents for putting a child - their child at that - through something like this, and angry that she lived in a society where there were so many rules and regulations put in place to protect "confidentiality" that she could not legally tell anyone what was happening to her young patient. Tears came unbidden to her eyes as she pulled out her legal books and papers. She would find a way around this. She had to - before someone got seriously hurt.
Dr. Bliss didn't wake Helga until the lunch bell rang. She figured Helga could use some time outside, perhaps with her friends. Dr. Bliss produced two sandwiches and offered one to Helga, but she refused with a short shake of the head. She wasn't hungry. Dr. Bliss didn't mind. She wrote out a pass and sent Helga outside with a reminder that she could come back any time she wanted to for any reason.
Helga nodded and walked outside slowly. She wasn't really registering her surroundings. She squinted as she stepped out into the sunlight. No one really noticed her arrival. That was okay. She didn't think she'd like having the spotlight right now.
Shading her eyes from the sun, she surveyed the playground. She could see everyone gathered at the monkey bars, loudly debating something, egged on by Harold and Rhonda. She briefly wondered what the debate would be like if she were leading it, but quickly squashed those thoughts. Those days were over, now, and thinking about it would only make the pain worse.
She diverted her eyes and immediately caught sight of a group of three people near the jungle jim. All three had their backs to Helga. The girl sat on the ground while the two boys stood over her, focusing on her for some reason. Helga gulped, almost choking against the large lump that had risen in her throat at the sight of her best friend. That Arnold and his friend were with her didn't help anything. They were all a part of something she could no longer be, now. Pained, she turned away, unconsciously letting her limp return as she headed toward an empty corner of the playground.
He wasn't sure what made him look up just then. A thought, a feeling like he was being watched. She was standing there, silent, at the entrance of the school. He watched as she turned away, a somnolent gloomy air surrounding her. He couldn't help but be disappointed in her, after the way she had treated her best friend. If she was a real friend, he and Gerald would not be here comforting Phoebe as she cried *again* over what Helga had said. That's not what friends do.
Yet, looking at her, he was finding it hard to stay mad. He hadn't been with the others that day, Grandpa had needed some help with some chores around the boarding house and Arnold had stayed behind to help. All he had heard were second hand reports of how mean Helga had been - how she had turned on them all. Looking at her now, he couldn't see her that way. She didn't look like she had won, and she wasn't acting as if she was better than the rest of them. Instead, she seemed... defeated. She seemed to have shrunk into herself. She looked smaller than he had ever seen her look before. He wished he knew what was going on here.
Arnold continued to ponder as he watched Helga walk toward the opposite end of the playground. Was she limping? He thought back to when she had come into class that day. Had she been limping then? He didn't think so. Had something happened to her after she had left the class? That seemed unlikely. All the other bullies were avoiding Helga right now. Rumors of what happened had escalated so that Helga's sanity was now in doubt as much as Curly's. So why was she limping now?
Out of the corner of his eye, Arnold noticed Brainy silently following Helga. Arnold shook his head. Did that kid have a death wish? He watched silently as the two neared their destination, wondering just what would happen.
Helga heard the wheezing behind her as she sat down, but ignored it. She wasn't going to hit him today. She didn't think she could ever hit him again. Maybe if she ignored him, he'd take the hint.
He didn't.
He stood there, a moment, awkwardly staring downwards, then he sat beside her, ignoring the deafening silence between them. The silence was okay, he'd lived in silence much of his life. Sometimes the silence could convey more than sound.
Helga tried to ignore him, but was finding it hard, especially when he was sitting beside her, just looking at her. Finally she gave up and looked back at him. His eyes were blank. They held neither scorn nor pity. They were neither threatening nor were they friendly. He was just there, just a kid, just a stranger.
Helga felt something click as she and Brainy shared this moment. Here was Brainy, the annoyance, the stalker, the kid who was *always* behind her at just the wrong moment, who she actually shuddered at when she thought about him. This was the *one* guy that she would not want to get stuck with ever for anything.
But he was here.
And he understood. Somehow she could just sense that he understood her completely. And that was something amazing.
The moment ended and Helga looked away. The atmosphere wasn't uncomfortable anymore. It was just.. neutral. Blank, numb, the same way she was feeling. She couldn't decide whether she wanted Brainy to stay or whether she wanted him to leave her alone.
She heard the sound of a paper bag crumpling beside her, and suddenly realized that something was being held up beside her. She looked up to see Brainy offering half of his sandwich to her. She looked up a moment, into his face, and saw a slight entreaty.
She hesitated, then accepted the sandwich and took a bite.
The silence was still deafening, but it was okay. It wasn't a scary silence, ominous or uncomfortable. It was... companionable.
Sometimes silence can convey more than sound.
A.N. - No this is not a Brainy/Helga shipper. If you didn't get it, he offered her friendship, she accepted it. That's all.