Author: Atsureki

Disclaimers: I don't own Weiss and the song Bright Eyes belongs to Art Garfunkel or whoever owns it.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, OOC, Angst, Deaths, song-fic, tearjerker.

Notes: Okay this thing is written in two different styles. The first part is in first person Ken's POV the other one is third person. The first part might be confusing and some probably don't make sense but that is done on purpose. I don't really think anything in Ken's life makes much sense at this point. I probably went a bit overboard with this but I was feeling shitty so um well yeah…

Anyways, again just like Forever Not Yours you might cry here, I sure know I did *sighs*. And the song I picked out just sorta went with the way I was feeling when I wrote this. And the chorus felt like what happens to Ken and so on… And I might as well be frank with you ppl. I really don't like this fic *mutters* Actually I think I might even hate it but oh well it refused to end up any other way *pouts* Now I'm gonna stop babbling so you can read this crap um fic… On you go…

Sequel: Bright Eyes

'Is it a kind of dream
Floating out on the tide
Following the river of death downstream?
Oh, is it a dream?

There's a fog along the horizon
A strange glow in the sky
And nobody seems to know where you go
And what does it mean?
Oh, is it a dream?

Bright eyes
Burning like fire
Bright eyes
How can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes'

My tears are washed away by the rain. It's like life just keeps on mocking me. It has already stolen you from me… I watch as they lower you down into the ground. Two weeks has past by me since I lost you but I can't honestly say that I've let go. I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on from this. The worst thing is that I'm angry with you; a part of me even hates you for leaving. Nights are the worst… I'm so used to having you beside me that I can barely sleep without you. When I finally do fall asleep I dream about the way things were, then I wake up in the illusion that everything is back to normal.

Oh dear Gods Aya! They're throwing dirt on your alabaster coffin! I want to scream at them, order them to stop! I want you back! I don't think I can go on without you, don't even want to. Everything is so cold without you; I'm so cold without you. Sometimes when I sleep my hands reach out, searching for yours and when they don't find you I wake up. Omi and Yoji are leading me away but I don't struggle because deep down inside I just don't understand what's happening.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

At home I stay in your room where I still can smell you. Sometimes I even think I can see you. But you're not coming back, are you? Am I going to have to face the rest of my life without you? Aya, I don't think I can do that. I'm only 22, the rest of my life is such a long time and I've barely made it through two weeks. How am I supposed to live without you? What am I suppose to hold on to? Please tell me because I just don't know. It feels like the world is up side down; don't know where I'm going to anymore.

I'm just so tired Aya, so tired of trying to belong in this loneliness. I'm struggling but it feels so pointless. Did you ever realize just how much I depend on you? Do you understand that I'm desperately trying to hold on to something I know is gone? It hurts so much! Every day I become a little more jaded, a little less Ken and my eyes burn a little paler. Yoji and Omi try to cheer my up but I'm too numb inside to care. Besides, I don't want to cheer up; I want to be with you! I want to feel the warmth from your embrace, the sweetness of your kisses and I want to feel you inside of me again. It so unsafe and lonely here Aya, I don't want to stay when you're not here with me.

Why did you leave? Damn you Aya, damn you for leaving me behind like this! You never even told me that you were sick; you just left without saying good-bye. Most nights I curl up on your bed and cry until there's nothing left in me. I'm drowning in my tears so why won't you come and save me? Why aren't you here when I need you? I don't want to be here and I am not going to stay, not without you. I don't care if I have to kill myself; I refuse to live my life with this pain. What kind of life is this anyway? I'm so broken and lost, sometimes I don't even know where I am, who I am.

No matter how many tears I shed you're not coming back, are you? Why Aya? Why? Just please tell me why you had to go away. Someone once told me that love conquers all… That's a load of bullshit! And love isn't a dance on roses that's for sure. It's more like a run through a minefield. No matter where you step you're bound to get shot to shit! If God exists I hope He's happy now. My heart is lying on the floor, smashed into bloody pieces.

Is this some sort of punishment for killing people? Is this life's way of telling me I've sinned too many times? Or is this just fate? I don't know and I really don't care. Somehow I just have to get away from this hurt because I can't stand it anymore.

'Is it a kind of shadow
Reaching into the night
Wandering over the hills unseen?
Or is it a dream?

There's a high wind in the trees
A cold sound in the air
And nobody ever knows when you go
And where do you start
Oh, into the dark?

Bright eyes
Burning like fire
Bright eyes
How can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes'

He held the pale limp hand in his and sighed deeply. Another life was slipping away right before his eyes and he couldn't do a thing about it this time either. He wasn't crying, he was just watching and waiting. It was like it was his mission in life to see his loved ones die, vanish, and leave him behind. Fourth one in a row, what a great track record. For a moment he almost smiled bitterly.

First his best friend, dying by his very own hands, then his lover, stolen from him. 11 years ago it had been his oldest teammate, dying in his arms from so many bullet wounds he hadn't even been able to count them and now… the man who for most of his life had been the little brother he had never had. He looked at the pale face in front of him. It had always remained childish with its big blue eyes and cheerful smiles. But now it just looked dead even though the machine next to him kept on beeping claiming that the blonde was alive.

"Omi," he sighed and gently caressed the hand he held in his.

"Why are you all leaving me behind? You were the only one I had left, so why won't you stay?" The small blonde didn't answer of course. Those blue eyes would never open again. For a moment his brown gaze turned to look at the ugly scars he had on his wrists. They were old and he considered them his friends in some morbid way.

"Did you know that I have never forgiven you for saving me that night?" he asked the blonde.

"You know I love you Omi but a part of me have always hated you for saving me and even more so for making me promise not to try again. I really wanted to die that night! I still do. There's no reason for me to be here, we both know that." He sighed deeply and glanced at the time. It had been exactly 36 hours since he had arrived at the hospital.

"The guy who hit your car died, did you know that? He was dead when the ambulance showed up… Actually you're dead too Omi, your brain just don't know it yet." There were no real emotions in his voice and there hadn't been for many, many years. His lover had died 26 years ago from a brain tumour and three weeks later he had tried to take his own life, but Omi had saved him.

After that his emotions had just vanished somewhere and he had never tried to get them back. The fire that had once burnt brightly in his eyes had failed and now there was only a tiny flickering pale light left. He had stayed with Weiß; he had nowhere else to go. But the group had been doomed when Yoji was killed during a mission that only left him and Omi alive.

And now there was only him, Hidaka Ken, left. Wasn't life ironic? He had always been the one who most often got hurt and still he was the one who had managed to stay alive. He was 48 years old and he was all alone. Ken shook his head slightly and watched how the line on the heart-monitor started going flat.

"Good-bye Omi," the brunette said softly and kissed his friend on the forehead just as the repeated beeps turned into a single prolonged one.

"Tell Aya and Yoji I'll be with you soon." A single tear slid down his cheek as the turned around and left.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He looked at the three stones before him with empty brown eyes. 'Kudou Yoji', 'Tsukiyono Omi' and 'Fujimiya Ran', better known to them as Fujimiya Aya. The three most important people in his life, all dead and gone. The two blondes had been his friends and he grieved them of course but the loss of them could never compare to the pain and despair he had gone through when Aya died.

Aya had been his lover, companion, best friend and soul mate; his everything. He had known that he loved Aya with all his heart but it wasn't until the redhead was gone that Ken understood that Aya was a part of his being. Without his lover he had disappeared, died. The brunette sighed and caressed the smooth stone that had his lover's name on it.

"It's been 26 years koi and I still love you, I still miss you… I still wake up in the middle of the night and fumble after your body, did you know that? No one ever told me that it would be like this. I thought time was supposed to heal all wounds, so why not this one? But do you know what? I'll soon see you again," Ken mumbled with a strange smile on his lips.

"I never fell in love with anyone else, why is that? Am I one of those people who only fall in love once? It doesn't make sense to me; I'm not the only one who ever lost a lover so why couldn't I move on Aya? Why did you do this to me? It's like even though you're dead you won't let me go. I know you always were possessive but don't you think this was taking it a bit too far koi?" Ken's empty eyes filled up with love as he talked to his dead lover.

He wasn't sane and hadn't been for 26 years but he didn't care. Shrinks had worked with him for years and years but no one had managed to get through to him because the brunette didn't want them to. He refused to heal, to move on or forget. If they had known him better they would perhaps have understood. Ken never broke a promise and he had given Aya two of them. He had promised his beloved redhead that he would always love him and that he would never forget him so that was what he was doing.

His love for Aya was still just as strong and he didn't allow himself to forget him for even a second and it had been killing him for years. But there was one promise he was no longer bound to. The one he had given to Omi didn't exist anymore. Finally his suffering could end. Ken hugged himself and kneeled before Aya's stone.

"I'm coming back to you now my love. I'll follow the river of death to you and then we'll be together forever. I'll be forever yours again," he smiled and picked up the weapon he had by his side.

"I'll let the last thing I have left of you kill me." Ken unsheathed the katana and licked his lips. He wasn't afraid, in fact he was eager, excited. His strong hands gripped the handle of the sword and raised it in front of his chest.

"I love you Aya, always." With all the force he could manage the brunette drove the shiny metal into his heart. Brown eyes closed and the last shred of light disappeared. Birds kept on singing not taking notice of the fact that another life had ended. And why should they? That life had really ended 26 years ago; it had just taken the man a long time to get his wish.

As the sun set over the cemetery an ambulance arrived, but they were too late. Silent men took care of the body that was leaning against a stone of white marble, spotted with crimson blood. Soon there would be a fourth stone to join the other three and on it, it would read 'Hidaka Ken'. All four of those men had died many years ago and now at last they could rest, together, never to be separated again…

'Bright eyes
Burning like fire
Bright eyes
How can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes'

~ OWARI~

Hrm well that was um well angsty and dark… I had no idea how this would turn out so please forgive me for killing everybody. But I just couldn't get it to end any other way *sighs* When I wrote this it was exactly 10 years since my grandfather died. The way Ken ends up is actually a lot like the way he did. When my grandmother died my grandfather had nothing left to live for. I think we all were shocked of how much he loved and needed her, he was always so strong and healthy but without her he just wasn't anymore.

It took 11 years before he past away too but we all knew that he hadn't really been alive since the day she died. The first thing my dad said when his sister informed him about their father's death was, "Finally he can get some peace.". Of course we all grieved him but the truth was that all he had wanted to do was die. Sorry for rambling on like this but I just wanted to explain why this ended the way it did. Please don't hate me for killing everybody. Well minna-san don't forget to review and stuff *waves to you all* Ja/Atsureki