...There isn't anything I can do to save myself. I'm a lost cause. I know this. I accept this. Why can't he? Why does he constantly try to make me feel things that died long ago? Emotions are a hindrance in what I do. Why can't he let me be by myself? Why can't he let me love him alone?
...Let me love him without hurting him...
...Love from a distance...
Fallen Tears
::Chapter 4::
Standard Disclaimers apply
If there's one thing worse than being at school, its being at school with nothing to do than to think about your unrequited love. Which was exactly what I was doing. The teacher was going on and on about something, I don't know what. I had stopped paying attention around 5 minutes into the lecture. I couldn't concentrate. Especially after what had happened two nights ago.
To, first off, be caught mooning about like a little girl by the guy you have a crush on. Then to fall down the stairs, in -front- of the guy you have a crush on. And finally to fall asleep in the arms of the guy you have a crush on, just after bawling your eyes out on his shoulder. That's not something I'm going to live down anytime soon.
::It was nice to wake up with Ken holding me though:: No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of the warm feeling I'd had ever since waking up the morning after falling asleep on Ken, not that I tried -too- hard, mind you. Not to mention the fact that it was highly embarrassing. I vaguely remembered waking up once to find myself in Ken's lap with Ken asleep, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and then falling back asleep. I don't remember anything else about that night, except falling down the stairs of course.
I slept better than I had in weeks, without the nightmares that constantly plagued me. I was reluctant to wake up, my hands clutching onto the first thing they could grab which just happened to be Ken's shirt. Blinking the sleep out of my eyes, I looked up into Ken's gorgeous face, expecting him to still be asleep.
Only to jerk back so fast that I fell out of his embrace and onto the floor, letting out a shriek that, to my never ending shame, sounded like a girl even to me.
His expression changed to one of concern, as one after another, apologies spilled from my mouth. I picked myself up from where I had quite ungracefully landed, never stopping in my tirade of excuses, my hands nervously smoothing my wrinkled shirt over and over. His hand reaching out and grabbing my wrist was the only thing that stopped me from my babbling. Well, that and his quiet assurances that everything was okay, and for me to stop apologizing.
Sighing, I let my head thunk down onto my desk, one arm trailing useless off the side. ::Why did he have to be so sweet about it?!:: I almost would have preferred a disgusted Ken to the sweet, understanding Ken that I had woken up to. Because then I wouldn't be so confused and unsure as to where I stood with him.
I mean, seriously. This is Ken, after all. Why would he like me? Scrawny, computer nerd Omi when I'm sure, no positive, that there were other people who liked him. People into sports like him, who could understand what he was talking about when he mentioned the Super Cup and the World Bowl. Or something like that.
I didn't even know if he liked guys! Sure I had seen him giving looks at a few of the cute guy customers that came into our store occasionally, but all those boys had again, been athletic and had seemed to know more about sports than I could ever dream of.
And then there was always Yuriko. That girl that he had almost quite Weiss over. If that wasn't a sign of him liking girls, then I don't know what was. From what Ken had said about her, she seemed like a nice person, very friendly. I'm sure that on different terms her and me would have gotten along great. But I couldn't help my resentment that I felt towards her. She had Ken and I didn't. It was that simple. Even though he eventually chose Weiss over her, I think some part of me will always hate her for what she had, and what I could never have. ::And I don't even know her. How much more pathetic can I get?::
"Omi..." I could faintly hear someone calling my name, it sounded familiar but I couldn't place who it was. "Omi." The voice became more insistent, and I gulped, raising my head, thinking I had been caught sleeping in school.
And blinked as I realized that I was nowhere even resembling my classroom.
I was in what appeared to be a forest clearing, though it was so dark I could barely make anything out. Some unknown light source lit up the clearing, casting shadows on everything, making it that much more creepy. And the fog wasn't helping much either. It was then that I noticed there were no sounds other than my own heavy breathing. None of the typical sounds one would expect from the forest creatures broke the deafening silence. Effectively creeped out, I could only stand in one spot, my eyes wide as I surveyed the area I was in.
"Omi." The voice was back and I spun around, though I couldn't pinpoint from which direction it was coming. My eyes rapidly took stock of my surroundings, while my mind wrestled with the idea of how I got here. "Omi." A thin streak of annoyance touched the mysterious voice this time, sounding hauntingly familiar, though I couldn't place a name to the voice.
Hearing a twig snap behind me, I whirled around, my body going into a crouching position as my hands instinctively reached for the darts that I knew weren't there. As I stared vainly into the fog, I saw a dark figure making its way towards me. Gathering up my courage and voice, I called out to it.
"Who are you? Why am I here?" My voice sounded thin and shaky even to my ears, and I inwardly cursed myself for showing weakness in front of an unknown enemy. The figure didn't answer as it continued making its way towards me, its steps slow and confident. My eyes narrowed as the person, for that's what it was, came closer.
With one last lazy step, the person stepped out of the fog and the darkness that surrounded me, and into the light. Despite myself, I couldn't stop a gasp from escaping my lips as my eyes widened to the size of American half-dollars. Standing there, his usual cocky grin on his face, was Ken. But ruling out the absolute random factor of Ken being in a forest clearing, was the fact that there was Ken. In a forest clearing. Wearing a tuxedo. And holding a dozen, deep red roses. Looking down, I realized that I too was in a tuxedo of pure white, the opposite of Ken's night black one. I think I about fainted from sheer shock.
"Omi, what's wrong?" He called out to me, his eyes looking troubled. It was the same voice that had called me to this place, and I could have kicked myself for not recognizing it earlier. He took a step closer to me, placing the roses onto a nearby table on which two candles burned. I blinked, not having noticed the table earlier, and stared at him stupidly, too shocked to move. "This is what you wanted isn't it Omi?"
Opening and closing my mouth like an indignant fish seemed to be about the extent of my verbal communication skills at that moment, and I could only manage a small, strangled noise. His smile widening, Ken moved so that he was standing right in front of me, staring down into my stupefied face. Placing his arms around me, he pulled me to his chest in a warm embrace. Stupidly, I clumsily placed my arms around his waist, and I could feel something hard poking me in my legs. My face burned a bright red as I thought of what it was. ::Could Ken... possibly... want me?!:: The idea seemed so absurd, and yet here was proof. Poking me in the leg, no less.
Burying my head in his chest, I breathed in deeply, enjoying how he smelled faintly of soap and sweat and the assorted flowers that he worked with. Uniquely Ken. Suddenly, everything seemed to fade to the background. Why I was in the clearing, and how I had gotten there, not to mention where that table and music had come from, didn't matter any more. I didn't care if this was a hallucination or if I had somehow missed something important in the mechanics of appearing in a forest. All that mattered was that I was here, with Ken. With him poking me in the leg. Letting out a sigh, I tightened my arms around him, and felt him do the same in return.
"Ken..." I let my voice trail off, and listened to him mumble a noncommittal noise is response. "Why are we here? I mean, how did I get here? Aren't I supposed to be in school?" The questions warred each other to get out of my mouth, and in result I ended up sounding like a little kid asking why the sky was blue. He let out a small laugh and rested his chin on the top of my head.
"Why Omi," He said, his voice sending shivers down my back. The poking in my leg got more insistent. "Because this is your dream." I gasped and jerked away from him...
...Only to find myself sitting stock straight in my seat, my eyes staring fearfully up into the livid face of my teacher.:: Oh god... that was all just a dream?!:: I couldn't help but feel disappointed, though the feel of Ken's strong arms still lingered on my body.
"MISTER Tsuikyono!" My teacher's harsh voice broke through my reverie, and I gulped. I could hear the rest of the class snickering. Looking over, I realized that the poking I had felt was the boy that sat next to me, poking me with his pencil trying to wake me up. I gave him a wan smile as the teacher, satisfied that I was once more in the land of the conscious, turned around and marched back to the front of the classroom. My face burned as the other students continued their laughing and not so inconspicuous glances in my direction.
Glancing at the clock, I realized that I had another 2 hours to go before the school day was over. ::This is going to be one long day:: I thought as I slumped further in my desk, ignoring the stares I received, and trying to keep my mind off of my dream. Ken's hard thing indeed.
~*~*~*~
I glanced over to where Ken stood, holding onto a watering can as if for dear life. ::Hmm... wonder what's gotten into him.:: A sly grin spread across my face as a particularly bad thought crossed my mind. ::Or what he hasn't gotten into. In other words, Omi.::
Laughing silently to myself, I put down the flower arrangement I was working on and made my way over to where Ken-not-so-bright was. ::I can't believe those two are still having problems. I would have thought they'd be bumping like bunnies by now.::
I could understand Omi's reluctance, that boy was so shy when it came to Ken, it was almost painful. But Ken, he seemed more like the type to go after what he wanted. And he wanted Omi; that much was obvious. His room was right next to mine, and on the nights where Aya and I weren't enjoying the company of each other, I could hear Ken enjoying the company of his dreams. ::Oh yes he wants Omi:: I doubt Ken even knew how often he dreamed of the youngest member of Weiss.
Sighing, my thoughts turned towards Aya briefly and I could feel my grin falter. While it was true that I shared Aya's bed, I didn't have anything more than that. Aya had never mentioned anything more permanent than just a good fuck, and I had never wanted to bring it up. That, in itself, is laughable. Since when have I ever been afraid of what someone has to say? ::Since its Aya::
I still went out on dates, I still enjoy the ladies, I doubt that will ever change. But its not the same as it is with Aya. I hardly ever bring any of my dates home, and every time I'm out with one of them, I can't stop myself from thinking of the moody redhead. I had a date tonight too. ::Why do I even bother going out with them anymore? I don't enjoy it like I used to::
Some part of me knew why, but the rest refused to admit it. Its not like I deliberately went out of my way to make Aya jealous and certainly flaunting about with girls isn't working. Not that I was trying, mind you. Of course not. . Its not like we're even in a relationship. Just fuck buddies! ...::Or at least that's all I am to him::
Pulling myself out of my reverie, I focused back on the matter at hand. Brooding on Aya could wait till later. Tapping Ken on the shoulder, I jerked back slightly myself as he started so violently I wasn't sure I hadn't given him a heart attack.
He spun around and looked at me, his eyes huge in his face, clutching his chest as if I had actually given him said heart attack. Blinking once, he seemed to collect himself and stood up straighter, smoothing his shirt. I gave him an odd look and resisted the urge to back away slowly, making no sudden movements.
"Did you need something Youji?" He said, clearing his throat. I just continued to look at him, unblinking. He fidgeted nervously under my gaze, his cheeks beginning to heat up as he tried to maintain his indignant look. "Well?" He asked, in a last ditch effort to get me to say something.
"You're awful jumpy now aren't you Ken" I said, not really paying attention to what I was saying. My mind was whirling in overdrive, thinking about the KenxOmi situation. It was obvious they needed to do something, and do that something quickly. Just as it was equally obvious that neither of them were going to do anything anytime soon. ::Damn them and their insecurities:: I thought, ignoring how easily that could be applied to myself.
I snapped to it when I noticed that Ken was talking to me, stumbling out some excuse about concentrating on his work. Right. Ken, concentrating on -work-. ::He's getting slow in his old age. Before he wouldn't have even bothered coming up with an excuse.:: I thought, shaking my head. ::This boy needs to get laid::
I smiled as I thought back on the last time that Aya and I had made love. It had been just a few nights ago, when I had faked a mission so that I could get Aya to go somewhere with me. He wasn't happy when he found out, but he got over that quick enough. My grin widened as I remembered. Suddenly an idea struck me.
"Can you take care of that customer Ken?" I asked, pointing to an elderly gentleman who had just walked into the store. "I need to go do something." And walked off quickly. This is going to be great.
*~*~*~*
Grumbling, I glared after the direction that Youji had gone, before making my way dejectedly to the cash register to ring up the lone customer in the store. ::He's such a slacker:: I thought bitterly to myself, taking the cash the old guy gave to me. ::And so nosey!:: Though what he was nosey about, I wasn't exactly sure, but I had the feeling of my privacy having been violated.
"Have a nice day." I called out to the gentleman as he left the store, not really meaning it. I really just wanted to be alone right now. Stupid Youji had put me off guard. What was it his business, anyways, what I was thinking about? I was working wasn't I? ::It's none of his business if I was having certain thoughts about Omi. None of his business at all!:: I could feel my cheeks heating up again, just thinking about what I was thinking about.
Rubbing my face with my hands, I leaned back against the wall, not really feeling up to working right now. To tell the truth, I didn't feel like doing anything. ::Except be with Omi, of course:: Rolling my eyes, I bit back any sharp replies I might have had. ::I really really really hate that voice:: Even though I knew it was only the sensible side of me speaking, that didn't mean I had to like it.
Things with Omi had been strained ever since the morning after he had fallen down the stairs. I didn't know what I was going to do about it though. I hated how things were, and I almost wish that I had just taken Omi up to his room, rather than falling asleep with him on the couch. -Almost-. No matter if things were a bit awkward right now, I don't regret the chance to spend a night with Omi in my arms, since I doubt I'll get to do it again.
Letting my eyes close for a moment, I leaned my head back against the wall. I hadn't slept well last night, my thoughts too focused on Omi for me to rest. Cursing myself for letting my hormones get the better of me didn't help me go to sleep any faster, but it did keep me from moaning Omi's name. (A/n: O.o;;) Especially since Youji's room was right next to mine. I think I would die of embarrassment if he ever heard me... thinking... of Omi.
I'm surprised at myself though, for this sudden physical need for Omi. Before I had been content to just love him from afar, sure I would have loved to kiss him and hold him, but I could handle not doing that. But now, after having had a taste of what it was like falling asleep with Omi, I couldn't get him out of my mind. The desire to kiss him was almost painful in itself.
"Ken!" Youji's voice snapped at me, and I jerked my eyes open. ::This is the second time in less than 15 minutes that he's managed to catch me like this:: I was mad at Youji for being able to catch me off guard, mad at Omi for making me feel this way, and mad at myself for my lack of self control. Oh, and mad at Aya for sticking me on morning shift. Can't leave him out of it after all.
"What do you want?" I asked, my voice more irritated than I actually felt. I looked over at him, expecting him to make some snide remark about my day dreaming but instead his face was totally serious. I started to get suspicious. "What?"
He waved a brown envelope in my face, and a smirk twisted on his face. But this time there was no humor in his expression. I felt myself go cold. This could only mean one thing. My fears were confirmed when his next words spilled from his mouth, his voice flat and strangely Aya-like.
"You have a mission."
TBC
Author's Notes: Okie... so I'm sorry this took so long to get out~!! *bows* Gomen! (not that anyone reads this fic, but still...) n.n I was in a major slump for a while, because I had no clue of what I wanted to do with this fic. I was just sorta floating... But~! I was struck with inspiration just recently *bows to Lady Cosmos* and I now know what I want to do with it! *cheer* Go me~! ....;; I'm having a sort of hard time continuing this in first person... don't know what possessed me to write it that way in the first place...
But anywhoo...I had to scrap most of what I had written earlier for this chapter because it was just becoming too AyaxYouji centric and this is a KenxOmi fic!! *stamps foot* But I didn't want to cut AxY out completely, so I've decided they get to have a little side story of their own. ^_^ It'll come out with the next chapter. *nod nod* Anou... Sorry this chapter sort of rambles... I wanted to get it done so that I can get to the good part!!
So...um... Sorry!! I'll try to post sooner next time v.v Thanks for sitting through another chapter of Fallen Tears~! Review if you want to!! I'd love it if you did... (which, btw... I LOVE EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED!! LOVE!!) I love getting reviews... .;; not that you could tell or anything... *cough* Its not like I do my own little patent 'I-got-reviews-dance' every time I get a new review... of course not....
And wow this A/N is long...so I'm going to shut up now... Ja~!
...Let me love him without hurting him...
...Love from a distance...
Fallen Tears
::Chapter 4::
Standard Disclaimers apply
If there's one thing worse than being at school, its being at school with nothing to do than to think about your unrequited love. Which was exactly what I was doing. The teacher was going on and on about something, I don't know what. I had stopped paying attention around 5 minutes into the lecture. I couldn't concentrate. Especially after what had happened two nights ago.
To, first off, be caught mooning about like a little girl by the guy you have a crush on. Then to fall down the stairs, in -front- of the guy you have a crush on. And finally to fall asleep in the arms of the guy you have a crush on, just after bawling your eyes out on his shoulder. That's not something I'm going to live down anytime soon.
::It was nice to wake up with Ken holding me though:: No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of the warm feeling I'd had ever since waking up the morning after falling asleep on Ken, not that I tried -too- hard, mind you. Not to mention the fact that it was highly embarrassing. I vaguely remembered waking up once to find myself in Ken's lap with Ken asleep, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and then falling back asleep. I don't remember anything else about that night, except falling down the stairs of course.
I slept better than I had in weeks, without the nightmares that constantly plagued me. I was reluctant to wake up, my hands clutching onto the first thing they could grab which just happened to be Ken's shirt. Blinking the sleep out of my eyes, I looked up into Ken's gorgeous face, expecting him to still be asleep.
Only to jerk back so fast that I fell out of his embrace and onto the floor, letting out a shriek that, to my never ending shame, sounded like a girl even to me.
His expression changed to one of concern, as one after another, apologies spilled from my mouth. I picked myself up from where I had quite ungracefully landed, never stopping in my tirade of excuses, my hands nervously smoothing my wrinkled shirt over and over. His hand reaching out and grabbing my wrist was the only thing that stopped me from my babbling. Well, that and his quiet assurances that everything was okay, and for me to stop apologizing.
Sighing, I let my head thunk down onto my desk, one arm trailing useless off the side. ::Why did he have to be so sweet about it?!:: I almost would have preferred a disgusted Ken to the sweet, understanding Ken that I had woken up to. Because then I wouldn't be so confused and unsure as to where I stood with him.
I mean, seriously. This is Ken, after all. Why would he like me? Scrawny, computer nerd Omi when I'm sure, no positive, that there were other people who liked him. People into sports like him, who could understand what he was talking about when he mentioned the Super Cup and the World Bowl. Or something like that.
I didn't even know if he liked guys! Sure I had seen him giving looks at a few of the cute guy customers that came into our store occasionally, but all those boys had again, been athletic and had seemed to know more about sports than I could ever dream of.
And then there was always Yuriko. That girl that he had almost quite Weiss over. If that wasn't a sign of him liking girls, then I don't know what was. From what Ken had said about her, she seemed like a nice person, very friendly. I'm sure that on different terms her and me would have gotten along great. But I couldn't help my resentment that I felt towards her. She had Ken and I didn't. It was that simple. Even though he eventually chose Weiss over her, I think some part of me will always hate her for what she had, and what I could never have. ::And I don't even know her. How much more pathetic can I get?::
"Omi..." I could faintly hear someone calling my name, it sounded familiar but I couldn't place who it was. "Omi." The voice became more insistent, and I gulped, raising my head, thinking I had been caught sleeping in school.
And blinked as I realized that I was nowhere even resembling my classroom.
I was in what appeared to be a forest clearing, though it was so dark I could barely make anything out. Some unknown light source lit up the clearing, casting shadows on everything, making it that much more creepy. And the fog wasn't helping much either. It was then that I noticed there were no sounds other than my own heavy breathing. None of the typical sounds one would expect from the forest creatures broke the deafening silence. Effectively creeped out, I could only stand in one spot, my eyes wide as I surveyed the area I was in.
"Omi." The voice was back and I spun around, though I couldn't pinpoint from which direction it was coming. My eyes rapidly took stock of my surroundings, while my mind wrestled with the idea of how I got here. "Omi." A thin streak of annoyance touched the mysterious voice this time, sounding hauntingly familiar, though I couldn't place a name to the voice.
Hearing a twig snap behind me, I whirled around, my body going into a crouching position as my hands instinctively reached for the darts that I knew weren't there. As I stared vainly into the fog, I saw a dark figure making its way towards me. Gathering up my courage and voice, I called out to it.
"Who are you? Why am I here?" My voice sounded thin and shaky even to my ears, and I inwardly cursed myself for showing weakness in front of an unknown enemy. The figure didn't answer as it continued making its way towards me, its steps slow and confident. My eyes narrowed as the person, for that's what it was, came closer.
With one last lazy step, the person stepped out of the fog and the darkness that surrounded me, and into the light. Despite myself, I couldn't stop a gasp from escaping my lips as my eyes widened to the size of American half-dollars. Standing there, his usual cocky grin on his face, was Ken. But ruling out the absolute random factor of Ken being in a forest clearing, was the fact that there was Ken. In a forest clearing. Wearing a tuxedo. And holding a dozen, deep red roses. Looking down, I realized that I too was in a tuxedo of pure white, the opposite of Ken's night black one. I think I about fainted from sheer shock.
"Omi, what's wrong?" He called out to me, his eyes looking troubled. It was the same voice that had called me to this place, and I could have kicked myself for not recognizing it earlier. He took a step closer to me, placing the roses onto a nearby table on which two candles burned. I blinked, not having noticed the table earlier, and stared at him stupidly, too shocked to move. "This is what you wanted isn't it Omi?"
Opening and closing my mouth like an indignant fish seemed to be about the extent of my verbal communication skills at that moment, and I could only manage a small, strangled noise. His smile widening, Ken moved so that he was standing right in front of me, staring down into my stupefied face. Placing his arms around me, he pulled me to his chest in a warm embrace. Stupidly, I clumsily placed my arms around his waist, and I could feel something hard poking me in my legs. My face burned a bright red as I thought of what it was. ::Could Ken... possibly... want me?!:: The idea seemed so absurd, and yet here was proof. Poking me in the leg, no less.
Burying my head in his chest, I breathed in deeply, enjoying how he smelled faintly of soap and sweat and the assorted flowers that he worked with. Uniquely Ken. Suddenly, everything seemed to fade to the background. Why I was in the clearing, and how I had gotten there, not to mention where that table and music had come from, didn't matter any more. I didn't care if this was a hallucination or if I had somehow missed something important in the mechanics of appearing in a forest. All that mattered was that I was here, with Ken. With him poking me in the leg. Letting out a sigh, I tightened my arms around him, and felt him do the same in return.
"Ken..." I let my voice trail off, and listened to him mumble a noncommittal noise is response. "Why are we here? I mean, how did I get here? Aren't I supposed to be in school?" The questions warred each other to get out of my mouth, and in result I ended up sounding like a little kid asking why the sky was blue. He let out a small laugh and rested his chin on the top of my head.
"Why Omi," He said, his voice sending shivers down my back. The poking in my leg got more insistent. "Because this is your dream." I gasped and jerked away from him...
...Only to find myself sitting stock straight in my seat, my eyes staring fearfully up into the livid face of my teacher.:: Oh god... that was all just a dream?!:: I couldn't help but feel disappointed, though the feel of Ken's strong arms still lingered on my body.
"MISTER Tsuikyono!" My teacher's harsh voice broke through my reverie, and I gulped. I could hear the rest of the class snickering. Looking over, I realized that the poking I had felt was the boy that sat next to me, poking me with his pencil trying to wake me up. I gave him a wan smile as the teacher, satisfied that I was once more in the land of the conscious, turned around and marched back to the front of the classroom. My face burned as the other students continued their laughing and not so inconspicuous glances in my direction.
Glancing at the clock, I realized that I had another 2 hours to go before the school day was over. ::This is going to be one long day:: I thought as I slumped further in my desk, ignoring the stares I received, and trying to keep my mind off of my dream. Ken's hard thing indeed.
~*~*~*~
I glanced over to where Ken stood, holding onto a watering can as if for dear life. ::Hmm... wonder what's gotten into him.:: A sly grin spread across my face as a particularly bad thought crossed my mind. ::Or what he hasn't gotten into. In other words, Omi.::
Laughing silently to myself, I put down the flower arrangement I was working on and made my way over to where Ken-not-so-bright was. ::I can't believe those two are still having problems. I would have thought they'd be bumping like bunnies by now.::
I could understand Omi's reluctance, that boy was so shy when it came to Ken, it was almost painful. But Ken, he seemed more like the type to go after what he wanted. And he wanted Omi; that much was obvious. His room was right next to mine, and on the nights where Aya and I weren't enjoying the company of each other, I could hear Ken enjoying the company of his dreams. ::Oh yes he wants Omi:: I doubt Ken even knew how often he dreamed of the youngest member of Weiss.
Sighing, my thoughts turned towards Aya briefly and I could feel my grin falter. While it was true that I shared Aya's bed, I didn't have anything more than that. Aya had never mentioned anything more permanent than just a good fuck, and I had never wanted to bring it up. That, in itself, is laughable. Since when have I ever been afraid of what someone has to say? ::Since its Aya::
I still went out on dates, I still enjoy the ladies, I doubt that will ever change. But its not the same as it is with Aya. I hardly ever bring any of my dates home, and every time I'm out with one of them, I can't stop myself from thinking of the moody redhead. I had a date tonight too. ::Why do I even bother going out with them anymore? I don't enjoy it like I used to::
Some part of me knew why, but the rest refused to admit it. Its not like I deliberately went out of my way to make Aya jealous and certainly flaunting about with girls isn't working. Not that I was trying, mind you. Of course not. . Its not like we're even in a relationship. Just fuck buddies! ...::Or at least that's all I am to him::
Pulling myself out of my reverie, I focused back on the matter at hand. Brooding on Aya could wait till later. Tapping Ken on the shoulder, I jerked back slightly myself as he started so violently I wasn't sure I hadn't given him a heart attack.
He spun around and looked at me, his eyes huge in his face, clutching his chest as if I had actually given him said heart attack. Blinking once, he seemed to collect himself and stood up straighter, smoothing his shirt. I gave him an odd look and resisted the urge to back away slowly, making no sudden movements.
"Did you need something Youji?" He said, clearing his throat. I just continued to look at him, unblinking. He fidgeted nervously under my gaze, his cheeks beginning to heat up as he tried to maintain his indignant look. "Well?" He asked, in a last ditch effort to get me to say something.
"You're awful jumpy now aren't you Ken" I said, not really paying attention to what I was saying. My mind was whirling in overdrive, thinking about the KenxOmi situation. It was obvious they needed to do something, and do that something quickly. Just as it was equally obvious that neither of them were going to do anything anytime soon. ::Damn them and their insecurities:: I thought, ignoring how easily that could be applied to myself.
I snapped to it when I noticed that Ken was talking to me, stumbling out some excuse about concentrating on his work. Right. Ken, concentrating on -work-. ::He's getting slow in his old age. Before he wouldn't have even bothered coming up with an excuse.:: I thought, shaking my head. ::This boy needs to get laid::
I smiled as I thought back on the last time that Aya and I had made love. It had been just a few nights ago, when I had faked a mission so that I could get Aya to go somewhere with me. He wasn't happy when he found out, but he got over that quick enough. My grin widened as I remembered. Suddenly an idea struck me.
"Can you take care of that customer Ken?" I asked, pointing to an elderly gentleman who had just walked into the store. "I need to go do something." And walked off quickly. This is going to be great.
*~*~*~*
Grumbling, I glared after the direction that Youji had gone, before making my way dejectedly to the cash register to ring up the lone customer in the store. ::He's such a slacker:: I thought bitterly to myself, taking the cash the old guy gave to me. ::And so nosey!:: Though what he was nosey about, I wasn't exactly sure, but I had the feeling of my privacy having been violated.
"Have a nice day." I called out to the gentleman as he left the store, not really meaning it. I really just wanted to be alone right now. Stupid Youji had put me off guard. What was it his business, anyways, what I was thinking about? I was working wasn't I? ::It's none of his business if I was having certain thoughts about Omi. None of his business at all!:: I could feel my cheeks heating up again, just thinking about what I was thinking about.
Rubbing my face with my hands, I leaned back against the wall, not really feeling up to working right now. To tell the truth, I didn't feel like doing anything. ::Except be with Omi, of course:: Rolling my eyes, I bit back any sharp replies I might have had. ::I really really really hate that voice:: Even though I knew it was only the sensible side of me speaking, that didn't mean I had to like it.
Things with Omi had been strained ever since the morning after he had fallen down the stairs. I didn't know what I was going to do about it though. I hated how things were, and I almost wish that I had just taken Omi up to his room, rather than falling asleep with him on the couch. -Almost-. No matter if things were a bit awkward right now, I don't regret the chance to spend a night with Omi in my arms, since I doubt I'll get to do it again.
Letting my eyes close for a moment, I leaned my head back against the wall. I hadn't slept well last night, my thoughts too focused on Omi for me to rest. Cursing myself for letting my hormones get the better of me didn't help me go to sleep any faster, but it did keep me from moaning Omi's name. (A/n: O.o;;) Especially since Youji's room was right next to mine. I think I would die of embarrassment if he ever heard me... thinking... of Omi.
I'm surprised at myself though, for this sudden physical need for Omi. Before I had been content to just love him from afar, sure I would have loved to kiss him and hold him, but I could handle not doing that. But now, after having had a taste of what it was like falling asleep with Omi, I couldn't get him out of my mind. The desire to kiss him was almost painful in itself.
"Ken!" Youji's voice snapped at me, and I jerked my eyes open. ::This is the second time in less than 15 minutes that he's managed to catch me like this:: I was mad at Youji for being able to catch me off guard, mad at Omi for making me feel this way, and mad at myself for my lack of self control. Oh, and mad at Aya for sticking me on morning shift. Can't leave him out of it after all.
"What do you want?" I asked, my voice more irritated than I actually felt. I looked over at him, expecting him to make some snide remark about my day dreaming but instead his face was totally serious. I started to get suspicious. "What?"
He waved a brown envelope in my face, and a smirk twisted on his face. But this time there was no humor in his expression. I felt myself go cold. This could only mean one thing. My fears were confirmed when his next words spilled from his mouth, his voice flat and strangely Aya-like.
"You have a mission."
TBC
Author's Notes: Okie... so I'm sorry this took so long to get out~!! *bows* Gomen! (not that anyone reads this fic, but still...) n.n I was in a major slump for a while, because I had no clue of what I wanted to do with this fic. I was just sorta floating... But~! I was struck with inspiration just recently *bows to Lady Cosmos* and I now know what I want to do with it! *cheer* Go me~! ....;; I'm having a sort of hard time continuing this in first person... don't know what possessed me to write it that way in the first place...
But anywhoo...I had to scrap most of what I had written earlier for this chapter because it was just becoming too AyaxYouji centric and this is a KenxOmi fic!! *stamps foot* But I didn't want to cut AxY out completely, so I've decided they get to have a little side story of their own. ^_^ It'll come out with the next chapter. *nod nod* Anou... Sorry this chapter sort of rambles... I wanted to get it done so that I can get to the good part!!
So...um... Sorry!! I'll try to post sooner next time v.v Thanks for sitting through another chapter of Fallen Tears~! Review if you want to!! I'd love it if you did... (which, btw... I LOVE EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED!! LOVE!!) I love getting reviews... .;; not that you could tell or anything... *cough* Its not like I do my own little patent 'I-got-reviews-dance' every time I get a new review... of course not....
And wow this A/N is long...so I'm going to shut up now... Ja~!