The trials of life and love weigh heavily on one's soul. You have to give your full self, or you are lost... buried under the weight of the pain and loss. I used to think that I could weather this storm alone... That I didn't need anyone; that I could prove that I'm strong enough to stand alone. It wasn't until he came along and saved me that I realized how nice it was to feel safe. Who woulda thought...
...safe in his arms...
...that I could cry...
Fallen Tears
::Chapter 7::
Standard Disclaimers Apply
I awoke slowly, feeling the last shreds of sleep release me as I opened my eyes. I was startled at what I saw in the near darkness, vague outlines of still objects, striking me with their familiarity and at the same time, seemingly foreign. ::This isn't my room:: I peered around me, suspicious that this might be a trap, before looking down. My eyes opened wide as I realized I was in a chair, which explained the stiffness I was feeling in my lower back and my neck.
I narrowed my eyes as I squinted down at the chair I was sitting in , drawing back slightly in surprise as I recognized it. ::This is the chair in the basement:: My oh so sharp mind supplied. I blinked, looking around the room once more, this time recognizing everything. ::I fell asleep down here...:: My eyes widened as I remembered the events earlier that had led me to come down here in the first place.
::Oh god! What if I overslept for the mission?!:: My eyes widened as I thought of how mad Ken would be if that turned out to be true. ::But if I did oversleep, why didn't he come get me?:: Even as I thought that I got the urge to smack myself. Of course Ken wouldn't come get me, he didn't even know where I was.
Dragging myself out of my chair, I groaned as my back and neck popped, and I could feel a headache forming from the dull ache of having slept for a while in a chair. Glancing down, I noticed my coffee mug, still half full, and the book of poetry from earlier. Bending over to pick up my mug, I shook my head in disbelief. ::Aya reads poetry... who would have thought... wonder if he reads it to Youji:: I couldn't help but grin at that, they were just too cute together. But the smile faded as I remembered my own precarious relationship with Ken.
::If it can even be called that:: I thought bitterly as I turned to make my way up the stairs. ::I'll be lucky if he remains my friend after the way I came onto him last night:: An overwhelming sense of sadness and loss washed over me and I could feel my eyes beginning to water. ::No:: I told myself. ::I can't cry. If I cry then there's a chance Ken will see me:: I brushed angrily at my eyes with the edge of my sleeve, wiping away the liquid despair. ::And if he sees me crying, then he'll take pity on me, and I don't want his pity friendship!!:: Wow, it was starting to sound like I was explaining myself to myself. ::I just want him damnit!::
Walking into the kitchen, I shook my head free of my depressing thoughts as I glanced up at the clock. And blinked in surprise. It was eight o'clock, I had been asleep for nine hours. ::Wow... I didn't think I could sleep that long in a chair:: I was a little dismayed at the hour, however. Part of me had wished that I -had- overslept and missed the mission, so I wouldn't have to be alone with Ken. And yet I couldn't help but feel ecstatic at the prospect of time with Ken, even if it did bring about humiliation and rejection.
Making my way over to the sink, I poured what was left of my coffee down the drain and quickly ran some water into the dirty mug. ::I'll wash it later:: Right now I was not feeling up to anything, not even washing a measly cup. I was surprisingly still tired, but I chalked that up to hours spent in a chair. I wanted nothing more than to go to my room and lay down for a while, to forget about my mission in less than two hours. Well, nothing more than to be with Ken, that is.
Hearing a faint scuffing noise from behind me, I froze. ::Please don't let it be Ken... Its Youji or Aya... right?:: Turning around slowly, I kept my eyes trained on the ground so I wouldn't have to face whoever it was. The person stopped as soon as I finished turning around, though I didn't bother to raise my head. Seeing the pair of dirty sneakers, I bit my tongue in disappointment and excitement. Those shoes could only belong to one person. The very person I was trying to avoid.
A minute passed in uncomfortable silence, as I continued to stare at the floor and he stood there, not saying anything. I could feel my cheeks heating up the more I thought of his presence and finally the suspense was too much for me. Raising my head I looked at him, and felt my face fall as I saw that he wasn't even looking at me. His gaze was in the direction of something off to the side, and I felt silly for even thinking he would look at me as I was doing to him.
I noticed the empty coffee mug in his hand and I almost smacked myself. ::He's probably waiting for me to get out of the way so he can put that away.:: I thought as I moved to get out of the way. My sudden movements must have caught his attention because he turned his head towards me, his face neutral.
I froze as our eyes met, and I could feel my breath catch in my throat. Looking at him like this just reminded me of how close I had come to kissing him the night before and I could feel the memory of his warm breath on my lips as I stared at him. The tension between us was almost tangible and the beating of my heart was deafening in my ears.
"Hi." His soft voice broke the silence and I almost started. I almost jumped for joy at the fact that he was speaking to me, even if it was just a monosyllabic word that he would say to anyone.
"Hello." My voice was equally soft, and I felt myself grow taut as the silence settled over the room once more. ::Why does it have to be so awkward?:: I thought, lowering my eyes once more to the ground. I couldn't stand to look at him any longer, it just reminded me of what I couldn't have and I was afraid I might do something drastic. Like run up to him and finish what we started last night.
"So...uh... ready for the mission tonight?" Oh he just -had- to bring that up didn't he? At that moment I wished that I could just sink into the ground and disappear. ::How am I supposed to answer that? 'Why a matter of fact, no I'm not because I'm afraid that I'll end up jumping you in some dark alley way and then you'll definitely hate me.' Not that you probably aren't close already:: Realizing he was waiting for an answer, I let loose with the intelligent and oh so articulate part of my brain.
"Um...I guess." ::Smooth:: I thought sarcastically at my stuttered response. I saw Ken nod slightly and he mumbled something unintelligible to show that he had acknowledged my answer. He moved forward a step, his eyes locking onto mine. I gulped in anticipation and fear. His expression was intense and I took a step back in surprise, my cheeks heating up. ::What if ...he's going to kiss me?!:: My mind was frantic, and I could feel my heart soar at the thought. I glanced down at the ground for a second to gain my bearings and when I looked up again, my recently raised spirits dropped.
Ken's eyes were still looking at me, though now his expression was that of curiosity and puzzlement, not the burning look from just a few seconds ago. He moved past me and I turned with him, watching with horrified eyes as he placed his mug in the sink along with mine. ::He was just going to the sink!:: I felt like a complete moron for having assumed that Ken would want to kiss me, just like I had assumed last night. Only thank god I didn't act on my assumption like I did before, that was embarrassing enough without adding to it.
Mortified at how I was acting, I turned and made my way to the door, mumbling something about going to go get ready for the mission. While it was true that I did indeed need to go take a shower and change into my assassin outfit, it was truer that I simply wanted to get away from Ken. The urge to kiss him was overwhelming enough with just the thought of what almost happened, much less with him in the same room.
::I need a shower:: I thought as I trudged up the stairs to the bathroom. Remembering the heat I had felt from the encounter just earlier, I silently amended that statement, my cheeks on fire. ::I need a cold shower::
~*~*~*~
I was reluctant to let go of the blissful nothingness that was surrounding me as I awoke slowly. I didn't want to wake up, I didn't want to think about what was about to happen. Despite my every efforts, my eyes opened and I found myself staring at that damned ceiling again, only this time through eyes rested by sleep. It took me a minute to gain my bearings, my entire body tense as I tried to remember why I was in bed again.
I vaguely remembered something about Youji and Aya closing the shop and something about coffee, but that was it. Squinting, I turned my head to the side, my eyes settling on my blue coffee mug not three feet away from my face. ::Well, that accounts for the coffee...but what's this about Aya closing shop for Youji...?:: I ran my hand over my face, scrubbing roughly as I tried to remember. ::I must have been more tired than I thought when I went to bed:: I told myself, struggling to sit up.
I nearly fell back down as I remembered suddenly the reason why I had needed to take a nap in the first place. ::Dear god... The mission.:: My eyes were wide with trepidation and I had to remind myself to breathe. A horrible thought hit me and I glanced frantically around the room. ::What if I slept too late for the mission?!:: My eyes fell on my clock and I snatched it up, holding it bare inches from my nose. It stared back at me, screen blank and I shook it slightly. ::What's wrong with it?::
My eyes followed the length of the cord and saw that it ended quite a ways away from the light socket. I blinked as a vague memory of it going off sometime during my sleep and my arm flailing out to make it stop, flashed in my head. I blushed faintly as I realized that I must have unplugged it in my sleepy stupor and felt like hitting myself for my stupidity. ::I hope I'm not late for the mission... Aya will kill me!:: As soon as I thought that I knew that it was wrong. Aya wasn't the one that would be upset, he wasn't even involved with this mission. It was Omi that would most likely have my head for missing it.
::If I'm so late, why didn't he come get me then?:: I couldn't help but wonder as I hauled myself off of my bed. The answer hit me hard and low and I could feel my spirits dropping lower and lower. ::He probably didn't even want to bother. Most likely didn't want to be on a mission with me... :: It made perfect sense, and after the way I had acted the night before, why would he want to be on a mission alone with me? I had given him no reason why he could trust me. ::I practically forced myself on him!::
With a sad sigh, I set down my alarm clock and picked up my empty coffee mug. ::Maybe I can apologize to him if I see him:: As I reached my door, I paused with my hand resting on the handle, and looked up at the ceiling. ::You and I are going to have a rematch:: I threatened it silently, ignoring how pathetic it was that I was having a conversation with my ceiling. ::Be prepared.::
Making my way down the stairs, I paused before I could step on The Step. Flashes of memories ran through my mind as I stared at it, and I was pretty sure my enthusiasm had dropped so low it was playing poker with the devil by now. I remembered Omi stepping on this very step just a few days ago, and then to, just a few minutes afterwards, fall down these stairs. My heart clenched even at the memory of Omi's disaster, and I couldn't stop my hand from twitching at the strong desire to save him. If even from the memory of something that happened in the past.
Shaking my head at my own foolishness, I continued on my way down, taking care not to set off The Step. As I walked into the kitchen I saw the back of the very person I was thinking about. I didn't know whether to be dismayed or overjoyed by this meeting however. Even as I had vowed to myself that I would apologize, I felt at a loss for words. ::What do I say to him?:: I thought, my brow creasing in frustration. ::"Oh yeah, sorry I missed the mission. I was busy sleeping because I stayed up all night thinking about you.":: That'd go over real well.
Looking up at the clock, I froze in surprise. It was only five minutes past eight. I hadn't slept through the mission. ::Well, that solves why he didn't come up to get me.:: I thought wryly. I felt as though a weight had been lifted off of my heart, though I still didn't know how to act around him after what had happened last night. Figuring that it was now or never, I walked into the kitchen a few steps, making sure to scuff my shoes on the floor so that he would hear me coming.
I watched as he turned around slowly, his eyes fixed to the ground. ::He knows its me:: I thought, my gaze still fixed on him. ::He can't face me:: I looked away, sadly. Seeing him just made me want to touch him all the more. He moved suddenly and I turned back to look at him. Our eyes locked and I felt my breath catch. The silence stretched between us, filling my body with tension. I had to break it somehow.
"Hi." ::Oh wow...Great one there Ken:: I couldn't help but scold myself. I stared at him, noticing how he seemed surprised that I had spoken. ::Oh jeez, its gotten that bad?!:: My heart sunk even further as I expected him to just brush me off.
"Hello." But him being Omi, of course he's too nice to do that. His voice was soft and hesitant as if he wasn't sure of himself. The room grew silent once more and he broke his gaze to look at the ground. I had to do something, it was just too awkward. Opening my mouth I fumbled for the first thing that came to my mind.
"So ...uh...ready for the mission tonight?" I asked, and then silently scolded myself. ::Great way to get rid of the awkwardness.:: I resisted the urge to bang my head into the wall as he looked up at me again, his eyes confused. ::Must be thinking of the nicest way possible to say "No, you freak":: I mused to myself as he collected himself.
"Um... I guess." ::Ah ha! I knew it!:: My mind cried out in victory, while the rest of me promptly told it where to shove it. I was feeling bad enough without having my own self against me. Not that that made any sense of course. I found myself at a loss for words once more, and could only nod my head and mumble an affirmative as my response. My eyes locked with his once more and my breath quickened.
The urge to kiss him was stronger than it ever had before, the tension between us only making me that much more aware of him. I took a step closer, my eyes burning into his as my mind balked at what I was doing. ::This is just like last night. What do you THINK you are doing?:: I tried to pull back, to stop myself from looking at him that way, but I found myself helpless to resist.
When I saw him look down however, I found the strength to stop. It was so very obvious by the way he was acting that he was uncomfortable around me, only Omi was too nice to say anything. I looked at him curiously, wondering how he did it. How he could stand to be around someone that he so obviously didn't want to be around. I felt detached, in a way, from what was happening.
He glanced back up at me, and I stepped past him, not wanting to face that look on his face anymore. I placed my mug, still clutched in my hand, into the sink and ran some water over it. I didn't feel like do anything right now, being too conscious of the way his eyes seemed to be boring a hole into the back of my head.
I remained with my back to him, my hands clutching the edges the sink for support, as he stuttered something about getting ready for the mission and left quickly. ::Just couldn't get away fast enough:: I thought, my expression bitter. Biting my lip, I fought against the side of me that wanted nothing more than to simply angst about how Omi obviously didn't want me. I had been giving into that side way too often lately and I needed to stop. Whether or not Omi wanted me that way didn't change the fact that he was still my friend and by me being insecure in how I dealt with him, I was just making him more uncomfortable.
Vowing to myself that I would let myself fall back into our playful friendship, especially for the mission, I heard the shower turn on upstairs. Images of Omi in the shower ran through my head. I blushed hotly as my mind stuck on the image of a naked Omi with his head tossed back and the water running over him in. ::So much for that idea:: Coughing slightly, I decided that I too, had better go get ready for the mission that would be in less than an hour and a half.
...after a cold shower of course.
~*~*~*~
It was one long ride to the mission spot. I had to ride on the back of his motorcycle the entire way there, my own bike not being fast enough to keep up. Which really, did not help my concentration any. Being pressed against his back, with the wind whipping his hair back into my face, teasing me with the sweet scent of it. Oh yeah, I was really thinking about that mission.
I tried. I really did. Its just that every time I would let my concentration up for just a minute, my mind would slip back into thoughts of Ken. Of how he looked and how he smelled and how he smiled. It was just so hard to remain focused when you practically had a god in front of you. ::A gorgeous, sweet, caring god... Damnit!::
Unconsciously, I tightened the hold I had around his waist, burying my face in his back as I tried to clear my mind of the thoughts I was having of the very person I held in my arms. ::Why does this have to be so hard?:: I thought mournfully, biting my lip to keep myself from possibly crying. ::Why couldn't Aya and Youji come with us?::
Thinking of my two teammates, I couldn't help but envy them. They obviously had an easy relationship, neither one being afraid to admit their feelings nor if they had a problem. I wished that I could be as open as Aya and Youji were and just tell Ken how I felt, then maybe I wouldn't be feeling this inner turmoil like I was right now. In all reality, he'd probably end up hating me, but hey! I wouldn't be feeling this inner turmoil anymore.
As we pulled to a stop in front of the mission rendezvous, which was nothing more than a slightly rundown motel, I blinked in surprise. The ride had seemed to last forever, but now that it was over it seemed too short. I felt empty as Ken dismounted, suddenly cold now that his warmth was taken away from me. With a small smile on his face, he held out a hand to me. I stared at it. I stared at it long and I stared at it hard, not comprehending before finally placing my hand hesitantly in his.
He steadied me, via hand, as I dismounted the motorcycle, and I could swear that at that moment my senses were in the midst of a breakdown. My cheeks seemed to be on fire and the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up just from the mere touch of Ken's hand on mine. When he let go after I had regained my balance, my hand still tingled from where he had touched it.
Together, we made our to the room the target had rented out, the lone man at the counter giving us an odd look as we crept across the lobby. I suggested that we use the stairs, my excuse being that we would never know who could be waiting on the other side when those doors opened. That was my excuse. In reality, the idea of being in a small, enclosed cubicle with Ken was frightening. I didn't know what I would do.
I snapped out of my inner thoughts as Ken, tapping me on the shoulder, pointed to the number on a door. I glanced at the door, reading the digits it displayed. 1337. I looked at his now serious face, and nodded. ::This is the target room.:: I thought to myself, trying to push all thoughts of my failing love life out of my mind so I could concentrate solely on the mission. Steeling myself, I watched with trepidation as Ken crept up to the door, adjusting my grip on my darts better.
Quickly and quietly, Ken turned the handle, pushing the door open a crack, and I was mildly surprised at the fact that it wasn't locked. A soft glow leaked out from the barely opened door and a faintly sweet smell drifted on the air. Frowning, Ken looked at me, his eyes confused. I shrugged back at him, my face blank. I didn't have any more idea of what this was about than he did.
Crouching low to the ground, we pushed the door open slightly more and slipped inside. My back was turned to the room, as I shut the door, and it was Ken's barely audible gasp that alerted me. Whipping around not really seeing, my hands automatically readying my darts, I was stopped by Ken's outstretched arm. Curious and confused, I looked around the room, seeing it for real this time, and I too gasped.
In the middle of the floor was a table. But what was most remarkable about the table was that there were two branch candleholders, full with burning candles, next to a bucket of ice containing a bottle of champagne, on it. A dozen roses lay off to one side, a ribbon tied around their stems. Looking closer, I saw that there were places set for two on either side of the table, the clear champagne glasses shining from where they sat on the red tablecloth.
"Looks like he was expecting someone tonight." Ken whispered to me, leaning in close so I could hear him. I blinked and looked at him, nodding my agreement. "Seems like the place is empty right now, but lets look around to see if we find anything suspicious." His voice was low and husky, and I shivered as his breath tickled my ear. Words were beyond me at the moment and I could only nod once more.
We headed to different ends of the room, to which I was grateful and upset over. ::I'm such a wreck. It was a mistake to let me come on this mission:: I thought to myself as I pulled open a drawer and started picking through it carefully. I envied Ken and how he could be so cool and collected while I was practically having a breakdown. ::Of course he is, baka:: I scolded myself, moving on to a different drawer. ::He doesn't have the same feelings for you that you do for him so of course he's not going to spaz like you.::
Sighing at my own stupidity, I moved to close the drawer I had just gone through absently when something caught my eye. Blinking, I stared down at it, my eyes widening as realization poured into me. I picked up the towel limply, my eyes fixed to it. ::I...I can't believe him! How could he do this to me?!:: I silently cried out in confusion and anger. ::And why didn't I notice it sooner?!:: I started to call Ken's attention to my discovery when I froze. ::I can't show him this. If I do then he'll know that Youji set us up on this fake mission because I had feelings for him.:: I was stuck between the figurative rock and a hard place, and my mind worked in overtime as I placed the towel, bearing the insignia of the hotel, back into the drawer.
"Ken," I said striving to keep my voice steady, my back to him. I couldn't face him right now. "We need to get out of here."
~*~*~*~
I was acutely aware of Omi as I absently ruffled through the various sightseeing packets on the nightstand by the bed. He was little more than half way across the room, but it seemed to me as if he was miles away. He so obviously didn't want to be here with me. Sighing, I set down the current brochure on the latest museums to see and turned to look out the window.
We were only two floors up, but the darkness outside seemed to swallow up the distance, making it seem endless. I could see a large ledge on the outside, the assassin side of me noticing absently that it was large enough to stand on, in case the target came back. It looked cold outside, even though it wasn't. Some part of me wished that it were, because then I would have a reason to enjoy Omi snuggling into my back on the ride home. For warmth I tell you, warmth.
Lost in my reverie, his voice startled me when he called my name, and I blinked at the tone. His words were quick and breathy, his tone worried. I frowned at that. ::Did he find something?:: I wondered, as I took a step towards him till his other words stopped me cold.
"We need to get out of here." His back was towards me so I couldn't see his face, but now I could swear he sounded almost angry and anxious. My frown intensified. ::He did find something... oh please don't let it be anything bad:: I strode over to him, and put my hand on his shoulder, trying to keep the intense worry I was feeling, off of my face. He started and whirled to face me, slamming the drawer he was looking through closed.
"What's wrong Omi? Why do we need to leave?" His eyes were wide as he looked up at me, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. ::He's so close...:: My brain decided to point out, and I could have kicked myself. ::Why did I touch him?:: I questioned as I felt myself responding to how close he was. My heart was beating so loud I was sure that he could hear it, and my breathing quickened the more I looked at him.
He opened his mouth to speak, to tell me why he thought we had to go, and I could feel myself leaning in close to him. My mind balked at what was happening, telling me I was an idiot. This was just like the night before in his room and like then, I was helpless to stop it. I could hear music start playing in the background, the tones soft and melodic. I paused when I heard it, not sure if I was imagining it or not.
//Wisemen say only fools rush in,
But I can't help falling in love with you.
Shall I stay, would it be a sin,
If I can't help falling in love with you.//
The lyrics seemed to match perfectly what I was thinking. ::I must be imagining it then:: I thought, not really caring. My entire attention was focused on Omi, to those wide blue eyes and that slightly parted mouth.
//Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you//
The music washed over me, urging me on with its truth. Omi's eyes were partially closed, and I could feel my own eyes closing as I leaned in closer to him. Some small part of me continued to rage, and I tried to listen to it. But my body had a mind of its own, and being so close to Omi was making it react.
The music stopped suddenly, and in the silence I realized what I was doing. My eyes opened wide and I took a step back, my mouth dropping in horror at what I had been about to do. I stared at Omi, taking in his own, equally horrified expression and promptly felt faint. ::I ...can't believe it! I almost did it again... I am SUCH an idiot:: It felt as though someone had rammed a knife through my heart, and I was sure that Omi would never want to talk to me again after I had attempted to force myself on him -twice- in -two- days.
I watched as he took a deep breath, and I waited for the killing blow. ::He's going to tell me he hates me and that I'm a pervert and that he never wants to see me again:: I was babbling to myself, my mind running through every possible scenario of what could happen. Closing my eyes momentarily I tried to steady myself.
"I don't think the target is going to show up." He was speaking to me, his voice shaking only slightly. I opened my eyes and looked at him, my brow creased as I wondered how he could be thinking of the mission after what had just nearly happened. I did a double take as I saw him standing there, his body at ease and a small smile on his face. ::He wants to forget about it.:: I thought, my mind opening with comprehension. ::He wants to save me the embarrassment of having to talk about it.:: I was infinitely grateful to him for his generosity and yet at the same time, horribly disappointed.
"Why do you think that." My voice seemed hoarse and scratchy to my ears and I envied him for being able to keep calm while I was a wreck. If he wanted to not talk about it, then I would respect his wishes. And I had to admit that I was a bit curious as to why he was so sure the target wasn't coming back. He fidgeted for a second, his eyes darting nervously around the room. I frowned at that. ::What's the matter? What did he find?::
"Just...Trust me...he's not going to come." His voice told me not to argue with him, but I couldn't help my curiosity. Besides the fact that if we went home without having done the mission, I'd have to explain why we came home early. I could just see it. ::"Oh yeah, um...I tried to grope Omi and he didn't want to be around me anymore after that.":: Oh yeah, I could see that going over real well.
"Lets just hang around here for a little bit longer and see if anything works out." I stated, trying to ignore his look of betrayal. I wanted to run from the room to get away from him and at the same time, I wanted to spend every second that I had together with him. He looked at me, his eyes troubled and for a second I was tempted to give in. Then he bit his lip and nodded, and my fate was sealed. At least another hour alone with Omi.
I didn't know whether to jump for joy or cry at the cruelty of it all. I settled for resuming my search of the room, thoughts of kissing Omi filling my head.
~*~*~*~
::Why did I agree?:: I scolded myself as I made a show of looking through the rest of the drawers. I couldn't believe myself. After I had practically thrown myself at Ken, I agreed to at least another hour or so alone with him. ::I am so stupid!:: My mind kept replaying the embarrassing scene over and over, mocking me with my own blatant stupidity.
The fact that I had reacted so strongly to his mere touch was unnerving enough. When he had tapped me on the shoulder it had felt as if a thousand lightning bolts were shooting through that very spot. And then, with his eyes burning into mine, I had acted like a schoolgirl, practically begging to be kissed and hearing music.
It was the music that had urged me to be so bold, the words striking true in my heart. Lost in the soothing vibes, I could almost convince myself that Ken would want me. And when the music stopped, he looked so horrified, I knew I had made a huge mistake. I had to make it right. So I had, for him, forced away my complete and utter humiliation and embarrassment to smile at him.
...and he talked me into staying. I knew I should tell him about Youji's little trick, but I couldn't bring myself to. Especially after what had just happened. ::Gah... I almost kissed Ken! Again!:: I could have kicked myself for it, but at the same time I was anxious for more. I wanted Ken. And lately the total isolation I would receive from him if I kissed him wasn't sounding as devastating when weighed with the chance that I would get to taste him. It was what I wanted most in the world. To know what Ken tastes like.
I slammed shut the drawer I had been 'looking' through, letting out an almost breathless growl of frustration. I could practically feel him from across the room and my fingers itched for another chance to touch him. ::This is stupid and a waste of time. Why can't I just tell him?:: I knew, even as I asked myself, what the answer to that was. If I told him it was just a fake mission, then I'd also have to admit of Youji's meddling ways and my feelings for him.
After having gone 'through' all of the drawers, I decided that the window would be a much better place where I could fake my search for information on the fake target for the fake mission. ::Youji is so dead when I get home:: I knew that he was just trying to help, but honestly, this was going a bit far. Especially considering that Ken obviously didn't share the same feelings for me that I did for him.
I turned and started over to the window, my mind distracted on thoughts of Ken. Because of that very fact, I didn't see the footstool until too late. Didn't notice it until after my foot had exchanged greetings and tea with it. I could feel myself falling and I flung out my arms to intercept the floor before my face did. Only that never happened.
I felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around my waist, stopping me from my downward descent. Raising my head, I looked straight into the beautiful eyes of Ken's, noticing the worry in them. ::He saved me...:: I felt elation boil up from within in me, though I tried to quench it. ::Of course he caught you, baka... what did you expect him to let you fall?:: That evil voice in my head snapped at me. I knew it was right, but at that moment I didn't care.
I was frozen by his eyes, and I could do nothing as his arms tightened around me. Not that I wanted to do anything of course. ::Its happening again.:: My mind screamed at me. I had to stop this before it went any further. And so I wrapped my arms around his neck. ::He really does have the most beautiful eyes:: I could hear the music start up again, and let myself fall into the words.
//Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started,
Chasing after you//
I could feel myself leaning in closer to him, my hold tightening as did his. I knew that as soon as this was over, I would beat myself senseless over my stupidity and I would probably never have an easy conversation with Ken, but right now I didn't care. All I cared about was that I was in Ken's arms and that he was less than four inches away.
//I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you//
His eyes burned into mine and I could feel my breath stop in my throat. The need to feel his skin on mine was overwhelming and I was practically seething with impatience. I didn't think about what I was doing, I knew that the minute I started thinking about it, I'd back out. Which was probably the wisest idea, considering that Ken will probably end up hating me for doing this. But I had already come this far, it was too late to turn back. I had to take this one chance given me, or I knew that I would regret it. I would probably regret either decision, but at least if I continued I would have the memory of Ken's soft lips to keep me comfort.
//Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation,
You take all of me now...//
As I leaned in towards him, my eyes began to close of their own accord. I could feel his breath on my mouth again, and I yearned for more. Needed more.
//I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you//
And when his lips touched mine it was pure heaven
~*~*~*~
It was a testament of my undying love for him that I found myself in such a situation. Spending my night on a ledge outside of a motel room spying on two of my teammates was not exactly my idea of fun. I looked over to where Youji was, playing with the remote in his hand. His eyes were lit up with an odd sort of glee and that almost made the fact that I was standing on a ledge outside of a motel room spying on two of my teammates, bearable. Almost.
"You really do enjoy that thing don't you?" I asked coolly, raising an eyebrow at his antics. He looked over at me and grinned, nodding his head. He was having way too much fun with the CD player in the room. I wondered how Ken and Omi were dealing, but decided against looking. Sometimes their bumbling self-consciousness reminded me of Youji and myself and right now that was the last thing I needed.
It wasn't enough that he had actually sent them on this harebrained mission of his, but he had to actually come and check up on them, dragging me along. I watched with a sort of morbid interest as Youji fiddled with the remote once more and I heard the pounding beats from the music stop. Apparently he had his own special blend of music prepared for the night. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
"Looks like they got things handled now." He whispered to me, and I could only imagine what Omi and Ken were doing inside. Scratch that. I didn't want to imagine. "We can go now." He said cheekily, obviously noting my annoyance. With an almost relieved sigh, I turned and carefully made my way along the ledge to the fire escape.
I was already a few steps down when I realized he wasn't following me. I looked back and saw him still staring in the window, an almost sad look on his face. I stared at him in confusion. ::Now what's wrong?:: I thought, but couldn't muster up the usual irritation. I watched as he shook his head and made his way over to where I stood on the fire escape.
As he reached me, I started on my way back down, when his hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned and looked at him, surprised as he just leaned over and kissed me. Startled, I kissed him back, leaning into his mouth as he did the same to me. As we both came up for air, he smiled at me and ran his hand over my cheek.
"I love you Aya." He said, his voice soft, and I suddenly realized what had got him so worked up. He saw in Ken and Omi exactly what I had. Ourselves. Giving him a small smile in return, I grabbed his hand and kissed the palm of it.
"I know." I stated simply, looking into his eyes. He nodded at me and together we made our way home.
~*~*~*~
::I'm ...kissing Omi:: I was surprised that I could get any coherent thought out as I touched lips with the blonde angel in my arms. Apparently, while my body had reacted and accepted what was happening, my mind had not. ::OH MY GOD! I'M KISSING OMI!!!!!!:: Yep, definitely not accepting. I ignored the screaming part of my mind as I tightened my hold on Omi, enjoying beyond words how good it felt to be holding him in my arms. This felt so right. This was what I was waiting for. Omi.
I lightly ran my tongue along his lips, asking my silent invitation. He parted his lips and I deepened the kiss. Dimly I noted that the music had once more stopped, but this time I didn't stop along with it. Nothing short of Omi pushing me away would make me leave this heaven I had found. Well, that or dying from lack of oxygen, which I was finding to be a minor problem by now.
Reluctantly, I pulled away from him, smiling at the small sound of protest that he made. Taking a deep breath of air, I leaned back to him, intent on continuing what we had started when I saw his eyes. They were slightly unfocused from the intensity of the kiss, but what got to me was the slight confusion and reproach I saw in them. Finally it sunk in what I had just done to Omi. I near dropped him.
"Oh my god Omi...I'm sorry." I babbled at him, my eyes going wide with fear of his reaction. We backed away from each other, and the silence stretched between us. I tried to tell him, to apologize more, but I couldn't find the words. I didn't know what to say. ::"I'm sorry that I practically tried to swallow your face, but I really really enjoyed it and please don't hate me.":: Yeah, or not.
We stared at each other across a distance of five feet, neither one saying anything. I could barely meet his eyes, I was too ashamed of what I had just forced him into doing. The tension between us was worse than it had ever been and I knew that nothing would ever be the same between us. I had ruined our friendship and for that I could never forgive myself.
Turning, I figured that the best way for me to end this would be to leave. Perhaps give him some time to think about forgiving me. And to give me some time to think about what an ass I was, remembering the way Omi tastes.
I strode towards the door, all thoughts of the mission and its consequences flying out of my mind as I left the one thing in my life I truly loved. My hand was on the door handle, when I heard a noise behind me. I paused, heart clenching as I heard it again. A sob.
I turned around quickly, afraid that Omi was hurt or something and my eyes widened as I saw him on his knees, with his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. Another muffled sob reached my ears and I felt my heart break in two. I had done this to him, I had made Omi cry. In quick strides, I reached his side, kneeling delicately as I hesitantly placed my arm around his shoulders.
I was startled when he immediately turned to me and buried his head in my chest, his crying intensified. Confused, I placed both of my arms around him and gave him a small hug. I felt like crying myself. It hurt to see him like this, and to know that I had caused it. ::I can't believe I let myself go so far as to do this to him. I never should have kissed him.:: I yelled at myself. ::He probably hates me now:: I thought bitterly, burying my face in his hair.
"I'm so sorry Omi," I mumbled, breathing in his sweet scent. I wasn't even paying attention to what I was saying anymore, my only thoughts were on the shaking boy in my arms. "I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to..." Omi started to cry harder as I said this and I tightened my hold on him. "Its just.. I'm sorry...I love you so much that I couldn't resist..." My words were so soft that I could barely hear them, and had I been paying just the slightest bit more attention, I would have stopped myself before they left my mouth.
I felt him freeze in my arms and I paused as I realized what I just said. ::Oh...my... God... I'm screwed... I am such an IDIOT!!:: I thought, my mind working in overdrive. ::Now he's going to laugh at me and tell me that he hates me::
"...Wha...what did you say?" He asked, his voice hesitantly. I flinched at his words as I looked down at him. His eyes looked up at me, still damp from tears, wide with disbelief. For one crazy second I thought of covering it up as something else, but I knew by looking at him that I couldn't do that. ::No backing out of it now::
"I...I love you Omi..." I said, looking away. I couldn't bear the look of rejection that was sure to show in his eyes. I waited for him to say something, anything. Words of hatred, rejection, denial. He could even slap me if he wanted. But I couldn't take this silence. I opened my mouth to apologize again when I felt his arms tighten around my waist and he buried his head once more into my chest. I stared down at him in confusion as his sobs got louder.
"S...say...it again, Ken..." He stuttered out between his cries and I blinked. ::He wants me to say it ...again?!:: I thought incredulously. ::Why does he want me to do that?:: The only reason I could think of seemed too farfetched to ever be considered an option. ::Omi doesn't love me...does he?:: Looking down at the blonde head, I knew that no matter what the reason, I couldn't refuse Omi anything.
"I love you Omi." I stated simply, feeling his fists clench in my jacket. I tightened my arms around his waist, and he brought his head up to look at me. His cheeks were even more tearstained than before and his eyes were slightly red and puffy. He looked better than anything I had ever seen in my life. "Why Omi...?" I asked hesitantly, as I saw him lower his eyes. I waited once more for the blow, only this time, I knew that it would kill me. To have him hate me or despise me after I had gotten a taste of him would have been too much to bear.
I stared down at him, waiting in silent preparation for his answer. He disentangled his hands from my coat and raised one to touch my cheek. As his hand came away wet I realized that I too was crying. He stared at his wet fingers, eyes wide like a child discovering a new toy. Then before I knew it, his arms were around my neck and his lips were pressed to mine.
I was too shocked to do anything than kneel there, as he kissed me, lips moving against mine. It wasn't until I heard the words he was saying against my mouth that I reacted, bringing my hands up to his shoulders and pushing him away slightly. I stared hard into his eyes, noting that he had stopped in his chant.
"Omi...do you...I mean, are you sure...?" I asked, my voice low and hoarse. ::Oh please god, please god...:: I was beginning to shake from the hope and I knew that this answer would make or break me. He bit his lip as he looked at me, raising his hands once more to cup my face. He moved his head in a bare shadow of an affirmative, before nodding firmly.
"Oh Ken...I love you so much!" He said, raising his face once more to kiss me. This time I kissed back, my heart near bursting. ::This can't be real:: I thought as I fell once more into Omi. His mouth was so sweet, and I knew that I would never get enough of him. My eyes fell on the dozen roses lying on the table and I would have laughed had I not been so distracted. Closing my eyes, I leaned into the kiss with Omi, tightening my hold on his waist to bring him closer to me. ::He loves me::
~*~*~*~
It was the laughter that alerted me to trouble. The sort of insane-worthy-of-a-mad-scientist cackling laugh. I frowned as I followed the echoes of sound to the main room. ::Strange, I did not foresee this.:: I thought as I peeked my head around the corner, blinking as I saw the familiar bright hair of Schuldich. Curious as to what could amuse him so, I walked into the room, stepping up to the couch he sat on.
He looked at me, shoulders shaking from suppressed laughter, eyes filled with mirth. I crossed my arms and looked at him, my expression demanding him to tell me what was so funny. Wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes, he grinned at me, flashing the victory sign.
"Nothing much Braddy... just playing with the kittens..." He said, his voice full of restrained laughs. ::Was he messing Weiss again?:: I thought irritably. His grin widened as he read my thought and nodded. "Its fun to mess with their minds. And they didn't even know it was me." At this latest development, he started laughing again, holding his sides to keep him from bursting. I raised an eyebrow at him, slightly amused even if I wouldn't admit it.
Taking a seat on the couch next to him, I grabbed one of his hands with my own. He stopped laughing immediately and looked at me, his eyes sharp. ::Why don't you leave those kittens alone for now." I thought, knowing full well that he could hear me. He smirked at me before leaning in and capturing my mouth with his own.
::You're right.:: He said into my mind. ::You're much more fun.::
~*~ OWARI ~*~
Author's Notes: OH MY GOD! ITS OVER!!!! *does a happy dance* You don't know how happy I am... !!! The entire time I was writing I was like, won't you be over now? And now it is! Yay!! Sorry that it seems kinda rushed, but I lost my train of thoughts at times... my writing schedule was like a page a night... and then tonight I just sat down and wrote the rest of it all out. But it was like, *type a few paragraphs* *go read some fanfics, goof on net for 15-20 minutes* *type a few paragraphs* ...you know, ect... but its finally done after staying up all night! (With school starting in three days no less) so appreciate it! .;; or not...either way *cough*
Oh and I know those songs are in English and they can't speak English... but just...yeah... work with me here people... lets all close our eyes and pretend they can understand them...please...? *begs pitifully*
Anyways, I dun think I'm going to be writing anymore Weiss fics for a while...I'm just not cut out for them... everyone's so OOC...*sob* but they're all so hard to write...
Oooh...and yesh~! Their mission guy was Colonel Sanders *gives pocky to Link for getting it right* but he didn't play a big part... and uhm...yesh... the evil voice that they kept complaining about was indeed Schu Schu... ^__^ I just had to put him in there... .;; Don't mind me...
Anyways, thanks to everyone who put up with my long and epic and oh so frustrating to write WK fic:
Tmelange: ^____^ you have no idea how flattered I was at that... I know all about the favorite pairings thing... and I'm very happy that you are reading my pitiful Ken and Omi fic... I would say I'll write more Aya and Youji fics, but um...I think this does it for WK fics for me for a while...
Aphrael: Waiiii~!! You stuck with this fic all the way till the end... You rock!! *hands Ken and Omi plushie to ze wonderful Aphrael* thank you mucho for reviewing all the time... it really kept me going (that and threats of RanKen ;_; )
Strawberry Goodness: *gulp* P..put down the knife... o.o Here's your chapter... x.x please dun hurt me... (and thank you soooo much for reviewing!!!)
Deathwing: And here it is~! The stunning (*cough NOT cough*) conclusion to this Ken and Omi epic...thing....;; (and you liked my poem...aww...thank you !!) *glomps* thank you very very much for reviewing~!!!
Bombayluver: Hehe, yes...I dun like AyaxKen fics very much... they just don't strike me as a couple, you know? Thanks for reviewing my AyaxYouji fic though~! Lmao...and since you asked so nicely, I did work on my Ken and Omi fic
Manie Coon: You did Too roll your eyes at me! I saw it! I did I did I did!! .;; *coughs* But anyways...yes ceilings are boring... I dun know why Ken chose to stare at his but, eh.. he's a boy...v.v My ceilings rather plain too, but I usually pass out right as I go to bed so I dun notice it too much... thank you soo much for reviewing!
Ayako: Bad taste...definitely bad taste...^_^ That poem was horrible.. hehe... ^^ And I still say you need to write me my RyuichixTatsuha fic... I'm waitin~g....;; and maybe once school settles down a bit more I'll work on writing one of my own... maybe...
Lumos Nox: Hehehe...your reviews are always so funny...I love reading them... Hope your college hunting thing went well~! Wow...Scotland...that's sooo far away from where I am... ;_; I wanna go back to England~! *siiiiigh* and yes! You need to write your own Ken and Omi fic!!! Wriiiite!!
Shime: Oh dear...o.o No lemon ^_^ and not even a lime either... I decided to cut that out because I want this to be over with and that would have meant more writing and plus I'm bad at limes and it was just cute to end it like that and this is a really long sentence and I think I'm going to end it now...
Tsuzuki: Yes, Ken needs wallscrolls on his ceiling... and so do I....;; like yours... I want yours!! *Glomps* or better yet, I want your posters... and you're in Cali right now...so hmm...o.o Think I might slip over to your house for a bit... *coughs discreetly*
Mayna: Aww..thank you~!! I'm glad you liked it...x.x someone had to... and it sure wasn't me... I'm not happy with anything about this fic...except maybe the book in the sidestory..yeah...I love the book! .;; Riiiight...anyways, thank you very much for your sweet review! ^_^
And that's it!!! I'm done!! Everyone rejoice!!!
...safe in his arms...
...that I could cry...
Fallen Tears
::Chapter 7::
Standard Disclaimers Apply
I awoke slowly, feeling the last shreds of sleep release me as I opened my eyes. I was startled at what I saw in the near darkness, vague outlines of still objects, striking me with their familiarity and at the same time, seemingly foreign. ::This isn't my room:: I peered around me, suspicious that this might be a trap, before looking down. My eyes opened wide as I realized I was in a chair, which explained the stiffness I was feeling in my lower back and my neck.
I narrowed my eyes as I squinted down at the chair I was sitting in , drawing back slightly in surprise as I recognized it. ::This is the chair in the basement:: My oh so sharp mind supplied. I blinked, looking around the room once more, this time recognizing everything. ::I fell asleep down here...:: My eyes widened as I remembered the events earlier that had led me to come down here in the first place.
::Oh god! What if I overslept for the mission?!:: My eyes widened as I thought of how mad Ken would be if that turned out to be true. ::But if I did oversleep, why didn't he come get me?:: Even as I thought that I got the urge to smack myself. Of course Ken wouldn't come get me, he didn't even know where I was.
Dragging myself out of my chair, I groaned as my back and neck popped, and I could feel a headache forming from the dull ache of having slept for a while in a chair. Glancing down, I noticed my coffee mug, still half full, and the book of poetry from earlier. Bending over to pick up my mug, I shook my head in disbelief. ::Aya reads poetry... who would have thought... wonder if he reads it to Youji:: I couldn't help but grin at that, they were just too cute together. But the smile faded as I remembered my own precarious relationship with Ken.
::If it can even be called that:: I thought bitterly as I turned to make my way up the stairs. ::I'll be lucky if he remains my friend after the way I came onto him last night:: An overwhelming sense of sadness and loss washed over me and I could feel my eyes beginning to water. ::No:: I told myself. ::I can't cry. If I cry then there's a chance Ken will see me:: I brushed angrily at my eyes with the edge of my sleeve, wiping away the liquid despair. ::And if he sees me crying, then he'll take pity on me, and I don't want his pity friendship!!:: Wow, it was starting to sound like I was explaining myself to myself. ::I just want him damnit!::
Walking into the kitchen, I shook my head free of my depressing thoughts as I glanced up at the clock. And blinked in surprise. It was eight o'clock, I had been asleep for nine hours. ::Wow... I didn't think I could sleep that long in a chair:: I was a little dismayed at the hour, however. Part of me had wished that I -had- overslept and missed the mission, so I wouldn't have to be alone with Ken. And yet I couldn't help but feel ecstatic at the prospect of time with Ken, even if it did bring about humiliation and rejection.
Making my way over to the sink, I poured what was left of my coffee down the drain and quickly ran some water into the dirty mug. ::I'll wash it later:: Right now I was not feeling up to anything, not even washing a measly cup. I was surprisingly still tired, but I chalked that up to hours spent in a chair. I wanted nothing more than to go to my room and lay down for a while, to forget about my mission in less than two hours. Well, nothing more than to be with Ken, that is.
Hearing a faint scuffing noise from behind me, I froze. ::Please don't let it be Ken... Its Youji or Aya... right?:: Turning around slowly, I kept my eyes trained on the ground so I wouldn't have to face whoever it was. The person stopped as soon as I finished turning around, though I didn't bother to raise my head. Seeing the pair of dirty sneakers, I bit my tongue in disappointment and excitement. Those shoes could only belong to one person. The very person I was trying to avoid.
A minute passed in uncomfortable silence, as I continued to stare at the floor and he stood there, not saying anything. I could feel my cheeks heating up the more I thought of his presence and finally the suspense was too much for me. Raising my head I looked at him, and felt my face fall as I saw that he wasn't even looking at me. His gaze was in the direction of something off to the side, and I felt silly for even thinking he would look at me as I was doing to him.
I noticed the empty coffee mug in his hand and I almost smacked myself. ::He's probably waiting for me to get out of the way so he can put that away.:: I thought as I moved to get out of the way. My sudden movements must have caught his attention because he turned his head towards me, his face neutral.
I froze as our eyes met, and I could feel my breath catch in my throat. Looking at him like this just reminded me of how close I had come to kissing him the night before and I could feel the memory of his warm breath on my lips as I stared at him. The tension between us was almost tangible and the beating of my heart was deafening in my ears.
"Hi." His soft voice broke the silence and I almost started. I almost jumped for joy at the fact that he was speaking to me, even if it was just a monosyllabic word that he would say to anyone.
"Hello." My voice was equally soft, and I felt myself grow taut as the silence settled over the room once more. ::Why does it have to be so awkward?:: I thought, lowering my eyes once more to the ground. I couldn't stand to look at him any longer, it just reminded me of what I couldn't have and I was afraid I might do something drastic. Like run up to him and finish what we started last night.
"So...uh... ready for the mission tonight?" Oh he just -had- to bring that up didn't he? At that moment I wished that I could just sink into the ground and disappear. ::How am I supposed to answer that? 'Why a matter of fact, no I'm not because I'm afraid that I'll end up jumping you in some dark alley way and then you'll definitely hate me.' Not that you probably aren't close already:: Realizing he was waiting for an answer, I let loose with the intelligent and oh so articulate part of my brain.
"Um...I guess." ::Smooth:: I thought sarcastically at my stuttered response. I saw Ken nod slightly and he mumbled something unintelligible to show that he had acknowledged my answer. He moved forward a step, his eyes locking onto mine. I gulped in anticipation and fear. His expression was intense and I took a step back in surprise, my cheeks heating up. ::What if ...he's going to kiss me?!:: My mind was frantic, and I could feel my heart soar at the thought. I glanced down at the ground for a second to gain my bearings and when I looked up again, my recently raised spirits dropped.
Ken's eyes were still looking at me, though now his expression was that of curiosity and puzzlement, not the burning look from just a few seconds ago. He moved past me and I turned with him, watching with horrified eyes as he placed his mug in the sink along with mine. ::He was just going to the sink!:: I felt like a complete moron for having assumed that Ken would want to kiss me, just like I had assumed last night. Only thank god I didn't act on my assumption like I did before, that was embarrassing enough without adding to it.
Mortified at how I was acting, I turned and made my way to the door, mumbling something about going to go get ready for the mission. While it was true that I did indeed need to go take a shower and change into my assassin outfit, it was truer that I simply wanted to get away from Ken. The urge to kiss him was overwhelming enough with just the thought of what almost happened, much less with him in the same room.
::I need a shower:: I thought as I trudged up the stairs to the bathroom. Remembering the heat I had felt from the encounter just earlier, I silently amended that statement, my cheeks on fire. ::I need a cold shower::
~*~*~*~
I was reluctant to let go of the blissful nothingness that was surrounding me as I awoke slowly. I didn't want to wake up, I didn't want to think about what was about to happen. Despite my every efforts, my eyes opened and I found myself staring at that damned ceiling again, only this time through eyes rested by sleep. It took me a minute to gain my bearings, my entire body tense as I tried to remember why I was in bed again.
I vaguely remembered something about Youji and Aya closing the shop and something about coffee, but that was it. Squinting, I turned my head to the side, my eyes settling on my blue coffee mug not three feet away from my face. ::Well, that accounts for the coffee...but what's this about Aya closing shop for Youji...?:: I ran my hand over my face, scrubbing roughly as I tried to remember. ::I must have been more tired than I thought when I went to bed:: I told myself, struggling to sit up.
I nearly fell back down as I remembered suddenly the reason why I had needed to take a nap in the first place. ::Dear god... The mission.:: My eyes were wide with trepidation and I had to remind myself to breathe. A horrible thought hit me and I glanced frantically around the room. ::What if I slept too late for the mission?!:: My eyes fell on my clock and I snatched it up, holding it bare inches from my nose. It stared back at me, screen blank and I shook it slightly. ::What's wrong with it?::
My eyes followed the length of the cord and saw that it ended quite a ways away from the light socket. I blinked as a vague memory of it going off sometime during my sleep and my arm flailing out to make it stop, flashed in my head. I blushed faintly as I realized that I must have unplugged it in my sleepy stupor and felt like hitting myself for my stupidity. ::I hope I'm not late for the mission... Aya will kill me!:: As soon as I thought that I knew that it was wrong. Aya wasn't the one that would be upset, he wasn't even involved with this mission. It was Omi that would most likely have my head for missing it.
::If I'm so late, why didn't he come get me then?:: I couldn't help but wonder as I hauled myself off of my bed. The answer hit me hard and low and I could feel my spirits dropping lower and lower. ::He probably didn't even want to bother. Most likely didn't want to be on a mission with me... :: It made perfect sense, and after the way I had acted the night before, why would he want to be on a mission alone with me? I had given him no reason why he could trust me. ::I practically forced myself on him!::
With a sad sigh, I set down my alarm clock and picked up my empty coffee mug. ::Maybe I can apologize to him if I see him:: As I reached my door, I paused with my hand resting on the handle, and looked up at the ceiling. ::You and I are going to have a rematch:: I threatened it silently, ignoring how pathetic it was that I was having a conversation with my ceiling. ::Be prepared.::
Making my way down the stairs, I paused before I could step on The Step. Flashes of memories ran through my mind as I stared at it, and I was pretty sure my enthusiasm had dropped so low it was playing poker with the devil by now. I remembered Omi stepping on this very step just a few days ago, and then to, just a few minutes afterwards, fall down these stairs. My heart clenched even at the memory of Omi's disaster, and I couldn't stop my hand from twitching at the strong desire to save him. If even from the memory of something that happened in the past.
Shaking my head at my own foolishness, I continued on my way down, taking care not to set off The Step. As I walked into the kitchen I saw the back of the very person I was thinking about. I didn't know whether to be dismayed or overjoyed by this meeting however. Even as I had vowed to myself that I would apologize, I felt at a loss for words. ::What do I say to him?:: I thought, my brow creasing in frustration. ::"Oh yeah, sorry I missed the mission. I was busy sleeping because I stayed up all night thinking about you.":: That'd go over real well.
Looking up at the clock, I froze in surprise. It was only five minutes past eight. I hadn't slept through the mission. ::Well, that solves why he didn't come up to get me.:: I thought wryly. I felt as though a weight had been lifted off of my heart, though I still didn't know how to act around him after what had happened last night. Figuring that it was now or never, I walked into the kitchen a few steps, making sure to scuff my shoes on the floor so that he would hear me coming.
I watched as he turned around slowly, his eyes fixed to the ground. ::He knows its me:: I thought, my gaze still fixed on him. ::He can't face me:: I looked away, sadly. Seeing him just made me want to touch him all the more. He moved suddenly and I turned back to look at him. Our eyes locked and I felt my breath catch. The silence stretched between us, filling my body with tension. I had to break it somehow.
"Hi." ::Oh wow...Great one there Ken:: I couldn't help but scold myself. I stared at him, noticing how he seemed surprised that I had spoken. ::Oh jeez, its gotten that bad?!:: My heart sunk even further as I expected him to just brush me off.
"Hello." But him being Omi, of course he's too nice to do that. His voice was soft and hesitant as if he wasn't sure of himself. The room grew silent once more and he broke his gaze to look at the ground. I had to do something, it was just too awkward. Opening my mouth I fumbled for the first thing that came to my mind.
"So ...uh...ready for the mission tonight?" I asked, and then silently scolded myself. ::Great way to get rid of the awkwardness.:: I resisted the urge to bang my head into the wall as he looked up at me again, his eyes confused. ::Must be thinking of the nicest way possible to say "No, you freak":: I mused to myself as he collected himself.
"Um... I guess." ::Ah ha! I knew it!:: My mind cried out in victory, while the rest of me promptly told it where to shove it. I was feeling bad enough without having my own self against me. Not that that made any sense of course. I found myself at a loss for words once more, and could only nod my head and mumble an affirmative as my response. My eyes locked with his once more and my breath quickened.
The urge to kiss him was stronger than it ever had before, the tension between us only making me that much more aware of him. I took a step closer, my eyes burning into his as my mind balked at what I was doing. ::This is just like last night. What do you THINK you are doing?:: I tried to pull back, to stop myself from looking at him that way, but I found myself helpless to resist.
When I saw him look down however, I found the strength to stop. It was so very obvious by the way he was acting that he was uncomfortable around me, only Omi was too nice to say anything. I looked at him curiously, wondering how he did it. How he could stand to be around someone that he so obviously didn't want to be around. I felt detached, in a way, from what was happening.
He glanced back up at me, and I stepped past him, not wanting to face that look on his face anymore. I placed my mug, still clutched in my hand, into the sink and ran some water over it. I didn't feel like do anything right now, being too conscious of the way his eyes seemed to be boring a hole into the back of my head.
I remained with my back to him, my hands clutching the edges the sink for support, as he stuttered something about getting ready for the mission and left quickly. ::Just couldn't get away fast enough:: I thought, my expression bitter. Biting my lip, I fought against the side of me that wanted nothing more than to simply angst about how Omi obviously didn't want me. I had been giving into that side way too often lately and I needed to stop. Whether or not Omi wanted me that way didn't change the fact that he was still my friend and by me being insecure in how I dealt with him, I was just making him more uncomfortable.
Vowing to myself that I would let myself fall back into our playful friendship, especially for the mission, I heard the shower turn on upstairs. Images of Omi in the shower ran through my head. I blushed hotly as my mind stuck on the image of a naked Omi with his head tossed back and the water running over him in. ::So much for that idea:: Coughing slightly, I decided that I too, had better go get ready for the mission that would be in less than an hour and a half.
...after a cold shower of course.
~*~*~*~
It was one long ride to the mission spot. I had to ride on the back of his motorcycle the entire way there, my own bike not being fast enough to keep up. Which really, did not help my concentration any. Being pressed against his back, with the wind whipping his hair back into my face, teasing me with the sweet scent of it. Oh yeah, I was really thinking about that mission.
I tried. I really did. Its just that every time I would let my concentration up for just a minute, my mind would slip back into thoughts of Ken. Of how he looked and how he smelled and how he smiled. It was just so hard to remain focused when you practically had a god in front of you. ::A gorgeous, sweet, caring god... Damnit!::
Unconsciously, I tightened the hold I had around his waist, burying my face in his back as I tried to clear my mind of the thoughts I was having of the very person I held in my arms. ::Why does this have to be so hard?:: I thought mournfully, biting my lip to keep myself from possibly crying. ::Why couldn't Aya and Youji come with us?::
Thinking of my two teammates, I couldn't help but envy them. They obviously had an easy relationship, neither one being afraid to admit their feelings nor if they had a problem. I wished that I could be as open as Aya and Youji were and just tell Ken how I felt, then maybe I wouldn't be feeling this inner turmoil like I was right now. In all reality, he'd probably end up hating me, but hey! I wouldn't be feeling this inner turmoil anymore.
As we pulled to a stop in front of the mission rendezvous, which was nothing more than a slightly rundown motel, I blinked in surprise. The ride had seemed to last forever, but now that it was over it seemed too short. I felt empty as Ken dismounted, suddenly cold now that his warmth was taken away from me. With a small smile on his face, he held out a hand to me. I stared at it. I stared at it long and I stared at it hard, not comprehending before finally placing my hand hesitantly in his.
He steadied me, via hand, as I dismounted the motorcycle, and I could swear that at that moment my senses were in the midst of a breakdown. My cheeks seemed to be on fire and the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up just from the mere touch of Ken's hand on mine. When he let go after I had regained my balance, my hand still tingled from where he had touched it.
Together, we made our to the room the target had rented out, the lone man at the counter giving us an odd look as we crept across the lobby. I suggested that we use the stairs, my excuse being that we would never know who could be waiting on the other side when those doors opened. That was my excuse. In reality, the idea of being in a small, enclosed cubicle with Ken was frightening. I didn't know what I would do.
I snapped out of my inner thoughts as Ken, tapping me on the shoulder, pointed to the number on a door. I glanced at the door, reading the digits it displayed. 1337. I looked at his now serious face, and nodded. ::This is the target room.:: I thought to myself, trying to push all thoughts of my failing love life out of my mind so I could concentrate solely on the mission. Steeling myself, I watched with trepidation as Ken crept up to the door, adjusting my grip on my darts better.
Quickly and quietly, Ken turned the handle, pushing the door open a crack, and I was mildly surprised at the fact that it wasn't locked. A soft glow leaked out from the barely opened door and a faintly sweet smell drifted on the air. Frowning, Ken looked at me, his eyes confused. I shrugged back at him, my face blank. I didn't have any more idea of what this was about than he did.
Crouching low to the ground, we pushed the door open slightly more and slipped inside. My back was turned to the room, as I shut the door, and it was Ken's barely audible gasp that alerted me. Whipping around not really seeing, my hands automatically readying my darts, I was stopped by Ken's outstretched arm. Curious and confused, I looked around the room, seeing it for real this time, and I too gasped.
In the middle of the floor was a table. But what was most remarkable about the table was that there were two branch candleholders, full with burning candles, next to a bucket of ice containing a bottle of champagne, on it. A dozen roses lay off to one side, a ribbon tied around their stems. Looking closer, I saw that there were places set for two on either side of the table, the clear champagne glasses shining from where they sat on the red tablecloth.
"Looks like he was expecting someone tonight." Ken whispered to me, leaning in close so I could hear him. I blinked and looked at him, nodding my agreement. "Seems like the place is empty right now, but lets look around to see if we find anything suspicious." His voice was low and husky, and I shivered as his breath tickled my ear. Words were beyond me at the moment and I could only nod once more.
We headed to different ends of the room, to which I was grateful and upset over. ::I'm such a wreck. It was a mistake to let me come on this mission:: I thought to myself as I pulled open a drawer and started picking through it carefully. I envied Ken and how he could be so cool and collected while I was practically having a breakdown. ::Of course he is, baka:: I scolded myself, moving on to a different drawer. ::He doesn't have the same feelings for you that you do for him so of course he's not going to spaz like you.::
Sighing at my own stupidity, I moved to close the drawer I had just gone through absently when something caught my eye. Blinking, I stared down at it, my eyes widening as realization poured into me. I picked up the towel limply, my eyes fixed to it. ::I...I can't believe him! How could he do this to me?!:: I silently cried out in confusion and anger. ::And why didn't I notice it sooner?!:: I started to call Ken's attention to my discovery when I froze. ::I can't show him this. If I do then he'll know that Youji set us up on this fake mission because I had feelings for him.:: I was stuck between the figurative rock and a hard place, and my mind worked in overtime as I placed the towel, bearing the insignia of the hotel, back into the drawer.
"Ken," I said striving to keep my voice steady, my back to him. I couldn't face him right now. "We need to get out of here."
~*~*~*~
I was acutely aware of Omi as I absently ruffled through the various sightseeing packets on the nightstand by the bed. He was little more than half way across the room, but it seemed to me as if he was miles away. He so obviously didn't want to be here with me. Sighing, I set down the current brochure on the latest museums to see and turned to look out the window.
We were only two floors up, but the darkness outside seemed to swallow up the distance, making it seem endless. I could see a large ledge on the outside, the assassin side of me noticing absently that it was large enough to stand on, in case the target came back. It looked cold outside, even though it wasn't. Some part of me wished that it were, because then I would have a reason to enjoy Omi snuggling into my back on the ride home. For warmth I tell you, warmth.
Lost in my reverie, his voice startled me when he called my name, and I blinked at the tone. His words were quick and breathy, his tone worried. I frowned at that. ::Did he find something?:: I wondered, as I took a step towards him till his other words stopped me cold.
"We need to get out of here." His back was towards me so I couldn't see his face, but now I could swear he sounded almost angry and anxious. My frown intensified. ::He did find something... oh please don't let it be anything bad:: I strode over to him, and put my hand on his shoulder, trying to keep the intense worry I was feeling, off of my face. He started and whirled to face me, slamming the drawer he was looking through closed.
"What's wrong Omi? Why do we need to leave?" His eyes were wide as he looked up at me, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. ::He's so close...:: My brain decided to point out, and I could have kicked myself. ::Why did I touch him?:: I questioned as I felt myself responding to how close he was. My heart was beating so loud I was sure that he could hear it, and my breathing quickened the more I looked at him.
He opened his mouth to speak, to tell me why he thought we had to go, and I could feel myself leaning in close to him. My mind balked at what was happening, telling me I was an idiot. This was just like the night before in his room and like then, I was helpless to stop it. I could hear music start playing in the background, the tones soft and melodic. I paused when I heard it, not sure if I was imagining it or not.
//Wisemen say only fools rush in,
But I can't help falling in love with you.
Shall I stay, would it be a sin,
If I can't help falling in love with you.//
The lyrics seemed to match perfectly what I was thinking. ::I must be imagining it then:: I thought, not really caring. My entire attention was focused on Omi, to those wide blue eyes and that slightly parted mouth.
//Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you//
The music washed over me, urging me on with its truth. Omi's eyes were partially closed, and I could feel my own eyes closing as I leaned in closer to him. Some small part of me continued to rage, and I tried to listen to it. But my body had a mind of its own, and being so close to Omi was making it react.
The music stopped suddenly, and in the silence I realized what I was doing. My eyes opened wide and I took a step back, my mouth dropping in horror at what I had been about to do. I stared at Omi, taking in his own, equally horrified expression and promptly felt faint. ::I ...can't believe it! I almost did it again... I am SUCH an idiot:: It felt as though someone had rammed a knife through my heart, and I was sure that Omi would never want to talk to me again after I had attempted to force myself on him -twice- in -two- days.
I watched as he took a deep breath, and I waited for the killing blow. ::He's going to tell me he hates me and that I'm a pervert and that he never wants to see me again:: I was babbling to myself, my mind running through every possible scenario of what could happen. Closing my eyes momentarily I tried to steady myself.
"I don't think the target is going to show up." He was speaking to me, his voice shaking only slightly. I opened my eyes and looked at him, my brow creased as I wondered how he could be thinking of the mission after what had just nearly happened. I did a double take as I saw him standing there, his body at ease and a small smile on his face. ::He wants to forget about it.:: I thought, my mind opening with comprehension. ::He wants to save me the embarrassment of having to talk about it.:: I was infinitely grateful to him for his generosity and yet at the same time, horribly disappointed.
"Why do you think that." My voice seemed hoarse and scratchy to my ears and I envied him for being able to keep calm while I was a wreck. If he wanted to not talk about it, then I would respect his wishes. And I had to admit that I was a bit curious as to why he was so sure the target wasn't coming back. He fidgeted for a second, his eyes darting nervously around the room. I frowned at that. ::What's the matter? What did he find?::
"Just...Trust me...he's not going to come." His voice told me not to argue with him, but I couldn't help my curiosity. Besides the fact that if we went home without having done the mission, I'd have to explain why we came home early. I could just see it. ::"Oh yeah, um...I tried to grope Omi and he didn't want to be around me anymore after that.":: Oh yeah, I could see that going over real well.
"Lets just hang around here for a little bit longer and see if anything works out." I stated, trying to ignore his look of betrayal. I wanted to run from the room to get away from him and at the same time, I wanted to spend every second that I had together with him. He looked at me, his eyes troubled and for a second I was tempted to give in. Then he bit his lip and nodded, and my fate was sealed. At least another hour alone with Omi.
I didn't know whether to jump for joy or cry at the cruelty of it all. I settled for resuming my search of the room, thoughts of kissing Omi filling my head.
~*~*~*~
::Why did I agree?:: I scolded myself as I made a show of looking through the rest of the drawers. I couldn't believe myself. After I had practically thrown myself at Ken, I agreed to at least another hour or so alone with him. ::I am so stupid!:: My mind kept replaying the embarrassing scene over and over, mocking me with my own blatant stupidity.
The fact that I had reacted so strongly to his mere touch was unnerving enough. When he had tapped me on the shoulder it had felt as if a thousand lightning bolts were shooting through that very spot. And then, with his eyes burning into mine, I had acted like a schoolgirl, practically begging to be kissed and hearing music.
It was the music that had urged me to be so bold, the words striking true in my heart. Lost in the soothing vibes, I could almost convince myself that Ken would want me. And when the music stopped, he looked so horrified, I knew I had made a huge mistake. I had to make it right. So I had, for him, forced away my complete and utter humiliation and embarrassment to smile at him.
...and he talked me into staying. I knew I should tell him about Youji's little trick, but I couldn't bring myself to. Especially after what had just happened. ::Gah... I almost kissed Ken! Again!:: I could have kicked myself for it, but at the same time I was anxious for more. I wanted Ken. And lately the total isolation I would receive from him if I kissed him wasn't sounding as devastating when weighed with the chance that I would get to taste him. It was what I wanted most in the world. To know what Ken tastes like.
I slammed shut the drawer I had been 'looking' through, letting out an almost breathless growl of frustration. I could practically feel him from across the room and my fingers itched for another chance to touch him. ::This is stupid and a waste of time. Why can't I just tell him?:: I knew, even as I asked myself, what the answer to that was. If I told him it was just a fake mission, then I'd also have to admit of Youji's meddling ways and my feelings for him.
After having gone 'through' all of the drawers, I decided that the window would be a much better place where I could fake my search for information on the fake target for the fake mission. ::Youji is so dead when I get home:: I knew that he was just trying to help, but honestly, this was going a bit far. Especially considering that Ken obviously didn't share the same feelings for me that I did for him.
I turned and started over to the window, my mind distracted on thoughts of Ken. Because of that very fact, I didn't see the footstool until too late. Didn't notice it until after my foot had exchanged greetings and tea with it. I could feel myself falling and I flung out my arms to intercept the floor before my face did. Only that never happened.
I felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around my waist, stopping me from my downward descent. Raising my head, I looked straight into the beautiful eyes of Ken's, noticing the worry in them. ::He saved me...:: I felt elation boil up from within in me, though I tried to quench it. ::Of course he caught you, baka... what did you expect him to let you fall?:: That evil voice in my head snapped at me. I knew it was right, but at that moment I didn't care.
I was frozen by his eyes, and I could do nothing as his arms tightened around me. Not that I wanted to do anything of course. ::Its happening again.:: My mind screamed at me. I had to stop this before it went any further. And so I wrapped my arms around his neck. ::He really does have the most beautiful eyes:: I could hear the music start up again, and let myself fall into the words.
//Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started,
Chasing after you//
I could feel myself leaning in closer to him, my hold tightening as did his. I knew that as soon as this was over, I would beat myself senseless over my stupidity and I would probably never have an easy conversation with Ken, but right now I didn't care. All I cared about was that I was in Ken's arms and that he was less than four inches away.
//I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you//
His eyes burned into mine and I could feel my breath stop in my throat. The need to feel his skin on mine was overwhelming and I was practically seething with impatience. I didn't think about what I was doing, I knew that the minute I started thinking about it, I'd back out. Which was probably the wisest idea, considering that Ken will probably end up hating me for doing this. But I had already come this far, it was too late to turn back. I had to take this one chance given me, or I knew that I would regret it. I would probably regret either decision, but at least if I continued I would have the memory of Ken's soft lips to keep me comfort.
//Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation,
You take all of me now...//
As I leaned in towards him, my eyes began to close of their own accord. I could feel his breath on my mouth again, and I yearned for more. Needed more.
//I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you//
And when his lips touched mine it was pure heaven
~*~*~*~
It was a testament of my undying love for him that I found myself in such a situation. Spending my night on a ledge outside of a motel room spying on two of my teammates was not exactly my idea of fun. I looked over to where Youji was, playing with the remote in his hand. His eyes were lit up with an odd sort of glee and that almost made the fact that I was standing on a ledge outside of a motel room spying on two of my teammates, bearable. Almost.
"You really do enjoy that thing don't you?" I asked coolly, raising an eyebrow at his antics. He looked over at me and grinned, nodding his head. He was having way too much fun with the CD player in the room. I wondered how Ken and Omi were dealing, but decided against looking. Sometimes their bumbling self-consciousness reminded me of Youji and myself and right now that was the last thing I needed.
It wasn't enough that he had actually sent them on this harebrained mission of his, but he had to actually come and check up on them, dragging me along. I watched with a sort of morbid interest as Youji fiddled with the remote once more and I heard the pounding beats from the music stop. Apparently he had his own special blend of music prepared for the night. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
"Looks like they got things handled now." He whispered to me, and I could only imagine what Omi and Ken were doing inside. Scratch that. I didn't want to imagine. "We can go now." He said cheekily, obviously noting my annoyance. With an almost relieved sigh, I turned and carefully made my way along the ledge to the fire escape.
I was already a few steps down when I realized he wasn't following me. I looked back and saw him still staring in the window, an almost sad look on his face. I stared at him in confusion. ::Now what's wrong?:: I thought, but couldn't muster up the usual irritation. I watched as he shook his head and made his way over to where I stood on the fire escape.
As he reached me, I started on my way back down, when his hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned and looked at him, surprised as he just leaned over and kissed me. Startled, I kissed him back, leaning into his mouth as he did the same to me. As we both came up for air, he smiled at me and ran his hand over my cheek.
"I love you Aya." He said, his voice soft, and I suddenly realized what had got him so worked up. He saw in Ken and Omi exactly what I had. Ourselves. Giving him a small smile in return, I grabbed his hand and kissed the palm of it.
"I know." I stated simply, looking into his eyes. He nodded at me and together we made our way home.
~*~*~*~
::I'm ...kissing Omi:: I was surprised that I could get any coherent thought out as I touched lips with the blonde angel in my arms. Apparently, while my body had reacted and accepted what was happening, my mind had not. ::OH MY GOD! I'M KISSING OMI!!!!!!:: Yep, definitely not accepting. I ignored the screaming part of my mind as I tightened my hold on Omi, enjoying beyond words how good it felt to be holding him in my arms. This felt so right. This was what I was waiting for. Omi.
I lightly ran my tongue along his lips, asking my silent invitation. He parted his lips and I deepened the kiss. Dimly I noted that the music had once more stopped, but this time I didn't stop along with it. Nothing short of Omi pushing me away would make me leave this heaven I had found. Well, that or dying from lack of oxygen, which I was finding to be a minor problem by now.
Reluctantly, I pulled away from him, smiling at the small sound of protest that he made. Taking a deep breath of air, I leaned back to him, intent on continuing what we had started when I saw his eyes. They were slightly unfocused from the intensity of the kiss, but what got to me was the slight confusion and reproach I saw in them. Finally it sunk in what I had just done to Omi. I near dropped him.
"Oh my god Omi...I'm sorry." I babbled at him, my eyes going wide with fear of his reaction. We backed away from each other, and the silence stretched between us. I tried to tell him, to apologize more, but I couldn't find the words. I didn't know what to say. ::"I'm sorry that I practically tried to swallow your face, but I really really enjoyed it and please don't hate me.":: Yeah, or not.
We stared at each other across a distance of five feet, neither one saying anything. I could barely meet his eyes, I was too ashamed of what I had just forced him into doing. The tension between us was worse than it had ever been and I knew that nothing would ever be the same between us. I had ruined our friendship and for that I could never forgive myself.
Turning, I figured that the best way for me to end this would be to leave. Perhaps give him some time to think about forgiving me. And to give me some time to think about what an ass I was, remembering the way Omi tastes.
I strode towards the door, all thoughts of the mission and its consequences flying out of my mind as I left the one thing in my life I truly loved. My hand was on the door handle, when I heard a noise behind me. I paused, heart clenching as I heard it again. A sob.
I turned around quickly, afraid that Omi was hurt or something and my eyes widened as I saw him on his knees, with his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. Another muffled sob reached my ears and I felt my heart break in two. I had done this to him, I had made Omi cry. In quick strides, I reached his side, kneeling delicately as I hesitantly placed my arm around his shoulders.
I was startled when he immediately turned to me and buried his head in my chest, his crying intensified. Confused, I placed both of my arms around him and gave him a small hug. I felt like crying myself. It hurt to see him like this, and to know that I had caused it. ::I can't believe I let myself go so far as to do this to him. I never should have kissed him.:: I yelled at myself. ::He probably hates me now:: I thought bitterly, burying my face in his hair.
"I'm so sorry Omi," I mumbled, breathing in his sweet scent. I wasn't even paying attention to what I was saying anymore, my only thoughts were on the shaking boy in my arms. "I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to..." Omi started to cry harder as I said this and I tightened my hold on him. "Its just.. I'm sorry...I love you so much that I couldn't resist..." My words were so soft that I could barely hear them, and had I been paying just the slightest bit more attention, I would have stopped myself before they left my mouth.
I felt him freeze in my arms and I paused as I realized what I just said. ::Oh...my... God... I'm screwed... I am such an IDIOT!!:: I thought, my mind working in overdrive. ::Now he's going to laugh at me and tell me that he hates me::
"...Wha...what did you say?" He asked, his voice hesitantly. I flinched at his words as I looked down at him. His eyes looked up at me, still damp from tears, wide with disbelief. For one crazy second I thought of covering it up as something else, but I knew by looking at him that I couldn't do that. ::No backing out of it now::
"I...I love you Omi..." I said, looking away. I couldn't bear the look of rejection that was sure to show in his eyes. I waited for him to say something, anything. Words of hatred, rejection, denial. He could even slap me if he wanted. But I couldn't take this silence. I opened my mouth to apologize again when I felt his arms tighten around my waist and he buried his head once more into my chest. I stared down at him in confusion as his sobs got louder.
"S...say...it again, Ken..." He stuttered out between his cries and I blinked. ::He wants me to say it ...again?!:: I thought incredulously. ::Why does he want me to do that?:: The only reason I could think of seemed too farfetched to ever be considered an option. ::Omi doesn't love me...does he?:: Looking down at the blonde head, I knew that no matter what the reason, I couldn't refuse Omi anything.
"I love you Omi." I stated simply, feeling his fists clench in my jacket. I tightened my arms around his waist, and he brought his head up to look at me. His cheeks were even more tearstained than before and his eyes were slightly red and puffy. He looked better than anything I had ever seen in my life. "Why Omi...?" I asked hesitantly, as I saw him lower his eyes. I waited once more for the blow, only this time, I knew that it would kill me. To have him hate me or despise me after I had gotten a taste of him would have been too much to bear.
I stared down at him, waiting in silent preparation for his answer. He disentangled his hands from my coat and raised one to touch my cheek. As his hand came away wet I realized that I too was crying. He stared at his wet fingers, eyes wide like a child discovering a new toy. Then before I knew it, his arms were around my neck and his lips were pressed to mine.
I was too shocked to do anything than kneel there, as he kissed me, lips moving against mine. It wasn't until I heard the words he was saying against my mouth that I reacted, bringing my hands up to his shoulders and pushing him away slightly. I stared hard into his eyes, noting that he had stopped in his chant.
"Omi...do you...I mean, are you sure...?" I asked, my voice low and hoarse. ::Oh please god, please god...:: I was beginning to shake from the hope and I knew that this answer would make or break me. He bit his lip as he looked at me, raising his hands once more to cup my face. He moved his head in a bare shadow of an affirmative, before nodding firmly.
"Oh Ken...I love you so much!" He said, raising his face once more to kiss me. This time I kissed back, my heart near bursting. ::This can't be real:: I thought as I fell once more into Omi. His mouth was so sweet, and I knew that I would never get enough of him. My eyes fell on the dozen roses lying on the table and I would have laughed had I not been so distracted. Closing my eyes, I leaned into the kiss with Omi, tightening my hold on his waist to bring him closer to me. ::He loves me::
~*~*~*~
It was the laughter that alerted me to trouble. The sort of insane-worthy-of-a-mad-scientist cackling laugh. I frowned as I followed the echoes of sound to the main room. ::Strange, I did not foresee this.:: I thought as I peeked my head around the corner, blinking as I saw the familiar bright hair of Schuldich. Curious as to what could amuse him so, I walked into the room, stepping up to the couch he sat on.
He looked at me, shoulders shaking from suppressed laughter, eyes filled with mirth. I crossed my arms and looked at him, my expression demanding him to tell me what was so funny. Wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes, he grinned at me, flashing the victory sign.
"Nothing much Braddy... just playing with the kittens..." He said, his voice full of restrained laughs. ::Was he messing Weiss again?:: I thought irritably. His grin widened as he read my thought and nodded. "Its fun to mess with their minds. And they didn't even know it was me." At this latest development, he started laughing again, holding his sides to keep him from bursting. I raised an eyebrow at him, slightly amused even if I wouldn't admit it.
Taking a seat on the couch next to him, I grabbed one of his hands with my own. He stopped laughing immediately and looked at me, his eyes sharp. ::Why don't you leave those kittens alone for now." I thought, knowing full well that he could hear me. He smirked at me before leaning in and capturing my mouth with his own.
::You're right.:: He said into my mind. ::You're much more fun.::
~*~ OWARI ~*~
Author's Notes: OH MY GOD! ITS OVER!!!! *does a happy dance* You don't know how happy I am... !!! The entire time I was writing I was like, won't you be over now? And now it is! Yay!! Sorry that it seems kinda rushed, but I lost my train of thoughts at times... my writing schedule was like a page a night... and then tonight I just sat down and wrote the rest of it all out. But it was like, *type a few paragraphs* *go read some fanfics, goof on net for 15-20 minutes* *type a few paragraphs* ...you know, ect... but its finally done after staying up all night! (With school starting in three days no less) so appreciate it! .;; or not...either way *cough*
Oh and I know those songs are in English and they can't speak English... but just...yeah... work with me here people... lets all close our eyes and pretend they can understand them...please...? *begs pitifully*
Anyways, I dun think I'm going to be writing anymore Weiss fics for a while...I'm just not cut out for them... everyone's so OOC...*sob* but they're all so hard to write...
Oooh...and yesh~! Their mission guy was Colonel Sanders *gives pocky to Link for getting it right* but he didn't play a big part... and uhm...yesh... the evil voice that they kept complaining about was indeed Schu Schu... ^__^ I just had to put him in there... .;; Don't mind me...
Anyways, thanks to everyone who put up with my long and epic and oh so frustrating to write WK fic:
Tmelange: ^____^ you have no idea how flattered I was at that... I know all about the favorite pairings thing... and I'm very happy that you are reading my pitiful Ken and Omi fic... I would say I'll write more Aya and Youji fics, but um...I think this does it for WK fics for me for a while...
Aphrael: Waiiii~!! You stuck with this fic all the way till the end... You rock!! *hands Ken and Omi plushie to ze wonderful Aphrael* thank you mucho for reviewing all the time... it really kept me going (that and threats of RanKen ;_; )
Strawberry Goodness: *gulp* P..put down the knife... o.o Here's your chapter... x.x please dun hurt me... (and thank you soooo much for reviewing!!!)
Deathwing: And here it is~! The stunning (*cough NOT cough*) conclusion to this Ken and Omi epic...thing....;; (and you liked my poem...aww...thank you !!) *glomps* thank you very very much for reviewing~!!!
Bombayluver: Hehe, yes...I dun like AyaxKen fics very much... they just don't strike me as a couple, you know? Thanks for reviewing my AyaxYouji fic though~! Lmao...and since you asked so nicely, I did work on my Ken and Omi fic
Manie Coon: You did Too roll your eyes at me! I saw it! I did I did I did!! .;; *coughs* But anyways...yes ceilings are boring... I dun know why Ken chose to stare at his but, eh.. he's a boy...v.v My ceilings rather plain too, but I usually pass out right as I go to bed so I dun notice it too much... thank you soo much for reviewing!
Ayako: Bad taste...definitely bad taste...^_^ That poem was horrible.. hehe... ^^ And I still say you need to write me my RyuichixTatsuha fic... I'm waitin~g....;; and maybe once school settles down a bit more I'll work on writing one of my own... maybe...
Lumos Nox: Hehehe...your reviews are always so funny...I love reading them... Hope your college hunting thing went well~! Wow...Scotland...that's sooo far away from where I am... ;_; I wanna go back to England~! *siiiiigh* and yes! You need to write your own Ken and Omi fic!!! Wriiiite!!
Shime: Oh dear...o.o No lemon ^_^ and not even a lime either... I decided to cut that out because I want this to be over with and that would have meant more writing and plus I'm bad at limes and it was just cute to end it like that and this is a really long sentence and I think I'm going to end it now...
Tsuzuki: Yes, Ken needs wallscrolls on his ceiling... and so do I....;; like yours... I want yours!! *Glomps* or better yet, I want your posters... and you're in Cali right now...so hmm...o.o Think I might slip over to your house for a bit... *coughs discreetly*
Mayna: Aww..thank you~!! I'm glad you liked it...x.x someone had to... and it sure wasn't me... I'm not happy with anything about this fic...except maybe the book in the sidestory..yeah...I love the book! .;; Riiiight...anyways, thank you very much for your sweet review! ^_^
And that's it!!! I'm done!! Everyone rejoice!!!