Author's notes: Okay! So I admit, I stole this idea shamelessly from Kouri and Karasu. GOMEN! But it was just too funny, I had to do it myself...x.x mine isn't as funny as theirs was...not even close...*sniffles* but I tried!! :D As a note, these are not meant to be taken seriously... ^_^ I just have too much time on my hands...



Chapter One:
(Alternate Title: The whole damn reason this fic started)

Omi: *Pricks finger* Ow *faints*
Ken: *dashes in* With my kiss you shall awaken, fair beauty!
Chibi: ...that's Sleeping Beauty, morons.
Ken and Omi: ...oh

Ken: Omi!
Omi: Ken!
Ken: Omi!
Omi: Ken!
Ken: *leaves*
Omi: *goes back to pruning*

Aya and Youji: *walk in*
Ken: You just screwed like bunnies didn't you?
Aya: *giggle* Bunnies? Where?...
Youji: *sweatdrops* We went and got drunk
Ken: But you still screwed like bunnies

Chapter Two:
(Alternate Title: Dude! Gravity, like, sucks!)

Omi: Must not think of Ken! ...Must not think of Ken...
Ken: Hey Omi!
Omi: GAH!

Ken: Yes! Backstreet Boys kick ass!
Everyone:...
Ken: Uh...I mean... go soccer!

Omi: *Falls down stairs* Ow... *faints*
Ken: Ha ha... Oh wait, that's not funny

Ken: Omi just fell down the stairs! He could be seriously hurt!
Youji: Dude! I have booze and wet dreams about Omi!

Chapter Three:
(Alternate Title: Maybe his parents were gay?)

Youji: We need to hook Ken and Omi up
Aya: Screw them, wanna have sex?
Youji: Okay!
Aya: *passes out*
Youji: Damn

Ken: *watches Omi* he's so pretty
Omi: *sleeps*
Ken: I don't deserve him!! *Angst angst*
Omi: *drool*

Omi: *wakes up in Ken's arms* Dude! I got some!
Ken: *snore*
Omi: *pauses* Oh wait, guess not

Random Fangirl One: *drools at Ken*
Random Fangirl Two: ...He's gay
Random Fangirl One: Damn!

Chapter Four:
(Alternate Title: ...the poor pencil...)

Omi: *dreams* Oooh...Ken...yes...poke me harder...oooh... *moans*
Classmates: *back away slowly*
Pencil: *feels violated*

Youji: Dude, Ken
Ken: What
Youji: Nothin', just wanted to bother you. Go help that old guy.
Ken: *watches him leave* Lazy bastard

Old Guy: Why thank you young man
Ken: yeah yeah, just give me your money ya old fart

Ken: *spaces*
Youji: *poke*
Ken: What?
Youji: You have a mission... *pauses* A mission of looooove

Chapter Five:
(Alternate Title: I can fly!)

Ken: *reads mission* ...Okay...who the hell put English in here?!?
Youji: .
ABC Book: *haunts Ken* ...a...b...c...d...e...f...g...h...i...
Ken: AHHH~! MAKE IT STOP!!!

Ken: *dreams* Dude! I can fly! *falls out of chair*
Youji: And you call me lazy. Get back to work.
Ken: b...but...I'm superman! I can fly!
Youji: ...riiiight... and I'm some dead, purple eyed gay man.

Orange sweatshirt: *stalks Ken*

Omi: Stupid mission...v.v
Youji: *walks by with date*
Omi: ...moron

Ken: *walks in* Youji and his date are screwing like bunnies...wanna join them?
Omi: Okay!
Chibi: *breaks them up* hahahano. I don't' think so. No sex for you! *mad cackle*
Ken and Omi: *curse*

Aya and Youji Side Story:
(Alternate Title: In which a book gets abused.)

Aya: *reads book*
Youji: I'm leaving
Aya: No you're not.
Youji: you want me to stay?
Aya: Hell no, get lost
Book: ...

Youji's date: blah blah blah blah
Youji: *gets hammered*

Aya: *reads book* ...*thinks of Ken and Omi having sex* ...Mmm...sex... Youji! Damnit! Where is he?
Book: ...
Aya: He better not be out boinking his date
Youji: *Comes home with date* Yo Aya! I'm going to be a total ass and go have sex without you! Bye!
Aya: ...*cries*

Youji and date: *screw like bunnies*
Youji: Yes...Aya...harder...
Date: Hey! I'm not Aya!
Youji: *stares* You're...not Aya! HEY! What are you doing here?
Date: *throws hissy fit*

Aya: *reads book*
Date: *Bitch slaps him* Whore! He loves you ! not me!
Aya: ...
Date: *kicks book on way out*
Book: ....;_;

Aya: *goes upstairs* Youji, I love you
Youji: I love you too!
Aya and Youji: *screw like bunnies*


Chapter Six:
(Alternate Title: Dear god, I need a life. Love, me. )

Ken: *stares at ceiling*
Youji: time to wake up!! *bangs pans*

Aya: *zombie like* Coffee...must have ...coffee... *Joined by Ken*
Ken and Aya: ...coffee...
Youji: *sweatdrops* Just kidding! We're not working today! Aya and me are going out!
Ken: Fsck you then! *passes out*

Omi: *stares at computer*
Aya: ...hn...
Omi: School already?

Youji: Ehh...you don't have to go to school today... I'm going out... Have fun on your mission!
Omi: ...*goes downstairs*

Omi: *reads depressing love poem* Well then, that sucks *passes out*


Chapter 7:
(Alternate Title: ITS OVER!!! *happy dance*)

Omi: ...I hate my life... Hey! Lets do dishes!
Ken: Ahhh~! I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!

Ken: Omi!
Omi: Ken!
Ken: Omi!
Omi: Ken!
Ken: Mission!
Omi: Right!
*both go off to take cold showers*

Omi: *rides on back of Ken's motorcycle* ...mmm... *cops a feel*

Ken: This is the mission room!! Let's go!
Omi: Okay!
Ken: *sees the wine and flowers*.... -_-
Omi: *gasp* it's a fake!
Ken: ...wha?
Omi: Nothing!

Ken: *hears music* Dude! Its my theme! *Leans in to kiss Omi*
Omi: Mmm...Ken...
Chibi: haha...didn't we already go over this?
Ken and Omi: ...I hate you

Omi: *trips*
Ken: *catches him*
Ken and Omi: *kiss*
Chibi: ...I hate you

Aya: Why am I here again?
Youji: Welcome to Stalkers Anonymous *stamps Aya's hand*

Ken: Oops I kissed you... I'm going to have a big dramatic scene and leave you...then you're going to cry and I'll feel like an ass and we'll make up and have sex...
Omi: Okay!

Schuldich: *laughs like a maniac*
Brad: ...wtf?
Schu: I'm spying on the kitties and making them think that I'm their conscience.
Brad: ...get a life... *pauses* Or better yet! Lets have sex!
Schu: Okay!
Brad: Come here love muffin

Epilogue:
(Alternate Title: Haha...and you thought it was over)

Ken: *finds condoms*
Note from Youji: Dear Ken, hope you get lucky... you need it. Love, Youji