I have decided to crawl out from the abyss that is the real world and go back to working on this story, which I have not done for over a year. I doubt the same people even read it anymore, if anyone at all, but I want to finish it, and I feel that I have a better grasp of the characters now.
Obviously, I don't own the lands that this was set in, those are all Tamora Pierce's. But these characters are my own creation, and please don't steal them. But do please R/R! Thanks. ~Sara
Spring faded into a sweltering summer. The heat showed no signs of letting up, and with it, neither did the fever of love that seemed to have infected everyone. Anthony and Ariel were at it almost every night; Willow found it now impossible to sleep in the connecting room. She briefly tried moving in with Mel, down the hall, but found that equally as unsuccessful; Ian and Mel were even louder than Anth and Ariel. Even Seth and Ane had taken to occasionally sleeping in the same room, despite the fact it was strictly against the rules for squires to do so, and there was nothing that Willow hated more than listening to their shy voices and clumsy movements that made the made creak at such irregular intervals. She finally had packed up all her belongings and was now sharing an apartment with Matthew indefinitely; she endured the horrendous and never-ending teasing in exchange for a good night's rest and a quiet room.
The girls were thrilled that final exams were over; of course, both of them passed easily. They did not move on with honors attached to their names, although each were recognized for individual accomplishments; Ariel in archery, Mel in fencing, and Ane in hunting and trapping. The summer months promised to bring a lot of excitement and change to Willow's life. She was still no closer to finding that magical little red book that was going to take her back to her old life, but as each day passed, laughing and playing games with her new friends, she cared less and less. At the beginning of August, she was going with Ariel back to Runnerspring to spend the month with Ariel's parents, Juliet and Brion, as well as her twelve siblings. Apparently, they all came home over the summer. It was the thing to do in the Serenity family. Ariel's oldest sibling was her brother Brice, who was twenty-five years old. He was a knight, although no longer on active duty. A near-fatal battle wound at the age of twenty-two had left his left arm almost completely useless, and although over the past three years he had rehabilitated himself a good deal, he would never be able to fight again. Next was Aurelia, age twenty-three. Aurelia had been married once, when she was sixteen years old, but it had been an arranged marriage and the Duke turned out to be an absolutely horrible man; he abused her physically and emotionally. She fled from him at the age of twenty and he was arrested, but Aurelia was forever scarred. She now lived at Runnerspring with her parents, helping taking care of her youngest siblings, always staying close to her mother, who was her rock. The third was Kayla, one of the youngest black robed mages in the lands at twenty-two. Everything about her was sharp, quick and acidic. She was the dearest friend to those who managed to break her outer layer, but a deadly enemy to most. The rumour around Corus was that she had once turned someone who annoyed her into a tree. And never turned him back. Tobias was born nine and a half months after Kayla, and was always the outcast of the family. He possessed wild magic and studied it fervently from a very young age. According to Ariel, he now spent most of his time as a wolf, although he stayed human and visited home during the summer. Nobody seemed to mind his choice of lifestyle. The spring after Tobias' birth, Andrew had joined the family. Relatively normal and only minimally gifted, he passed through the knight program with satisfactory grades and skills, spent a slightly above mediocre two years on active border duty, and had spent the last year slumming around the castle mooching off people, trying to figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. Willow didn't think that coming home to Runnerspring was much of a vacation for a boy who didn't seem to do anything during the rest of the year, but she was not one to criticize those she didn't know yet. Summer was a year younger than Andrew, and she and Tomas planned on stopping by the Runnerspring castle for two weeks to announce the good news and reunite with family briefly, before continuing on a voyage to the southern areas of Tortall and a few stops around Tyra. Both Summer and Tomas always wanted to travel, and they felt the last chance they truly had to do it was before Summer became too pregnant to do so. Once their child was born, they would both be too busy with parenting to take such an extensive vacation. Most of all, though, Summer was excited about Runnerspring, because it meant she would see her 19 year old twin brother and sister, Christian and Clarissa. Christian was on leave from his first year of active duty as a knight, and Clarissa simply felt the need to get away from the court ladies, whom she spent most of her time with. She was a noble lady, although with her personality and mannerisms, she would have been better suited as a knight. Similarly, Christian would have fit better with the gentle, unassuming monks than the brash, bawdy knights. Ariel confided in Willow three days before their travel began that she was most excited to see her sister Michalina, who was a year older than Willow and Ariel. She was a healer who worked in the palace with the pages, although she made the occasionally visit to see Mel, Ariel and the rest of the group. Recently, though, she had been vacationing in Galla, learning new healing techniques and taking a year long course offered at the University about the healing potential of roots and leaves. Willow personally wanted to meet the youngest members of the Serenity clan; Silas, Matthew and Jaspar. Silas was 14 and had just finished his time at the Tortallan University, obtaining a robe in magic. He had plans to travel to Carthak and begin working towards a black robe, following in his older sister Kayla's footsteps. Matthew was 11 and just finishing his first year as a page. Willow was fascinated by the entire knight program, and although she would never enter it had she the chance, she loved hearing stories about it. Jaspar was only four years old, but from what Ariel had described, she seemed to be a rather remarkable little girl who spent her days talking to butterflies and cats. Willow wondered if she would end up spending her days as an animal, like Tobias had done. She spent most of her time wondering and hypothesizing about Ariel's siblings. Being an only child, she had never experienced the thrill of having someone's life who you could invade at all times for your entire life. Part of her was content with being an only child, but Willow could not help but think of that part of herself as the "old" Willow, as cliché as that felt. The new Willow, the ancient Corus Willow, loved being surrounded by people and being involved in the many family affairs of the large clans. So when Ariel had told her that she had twelve brothers and sisters, and that every single one would be at Runnerspring for the summer, she was absolutely ecstatic. She spent a majority of the week before the trip packing her trunk for of her new summer clothing, most of which Ariel had been kind of enough to buy for her. A few items, however, Willow managed to purchase with her own money after selling her new-age coins as very valuable antiques. Three days before they left, she was fully packed and ready to go, and therefore had nothing to do. So, of course, she visited Matthew.
Matthew always kept one eye out for the little red leather book that Willow knew held her future, but he had lost a great deal of interest in it as their long search over the winter months had proved fruitless. Even Willow, who could once think of nothing other than the little bound volume, was beginning to forget. There were just so many other activities in her life that required her attention, sometimes she was completely unaware of the fact she didn't live during this time, and was supposed to be finding a way back home. Others day, however, when Matthew was busy with work and all her other friends had coupled up and left her alone, she missed being back in her own time. She missed having Tomas to cuddle up to, because although she loved Matthew, she had a gut feeling that he did not feel anything but friendship for her. Even if he did, she knew he was too shy to say anything. As she was the same way, Willow knew she would simply have to settle for unrequited love. It was kind of pathetic, this she knew, but Willow thought that everyone needed to have a little sadness in their life, and hers could come from being painfully shy. It was simply a fact she needed to learn to deal with. Tomas had always understand her shyness, and often finished her sentences for her or offered opinions and choices that she could simply nod or shake her head at, without ever having to ramble on about what she wanted. It was a nice arrangement, and so completely different from the one she had with Matthew. He forced her to voice everything she was thinking about, her questions, opinions, criticisms and every little thought in her head until her cheeks were burning red and she felt slightly ill to her stomach. It was nice, sometimes, to have someone been so devoutly interested in what a person thought, but mostly Willow just liked to listen.
She knocked on Matthew's door and found it creaked open halfway. She slipped inside the cluttered apartment and found a trunk sitting behind the door, the culprit of what had prevented the door from opening only halfway.
"Matthew?" She called out, her voice absorbed quickly by the massive piles of dusty books and documents. She saw a shaggy brown head appear from behind a group of religion tomes.
"Willow? Hi, I didn't hear you knock. How are you?" He shook the dust off his clothing, forming a gritty gray cloud around his head.
"Oh, alright. I'm just bored. I finished packing everything, but we don't leave until Saturday so I don't really have anything to do," she said, flopping down on his beaten red couch.
"Saturday, really? That's when I leave too," he replied, putting a book on top of the oak trunk blocking the door. Willow raised an eyebrow,
"Where are you going?" Matthew hadn't said anything about a summer voyage. He wasn't one who couldn't easily hold a secret, so Willow couldn't help but think this had been planned at the last minute.
"Oh, well it's all kind of been last minute, y'know. I received an express post yesterday asking me to help in a project that the Gallan University Library is taking on for the summer. I imagine I'll be gone until September or thereabouts," he explained, continuing to shove books into an already too-full trunk.
"Oh," Willow replied flatly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, the idea of Matthew pining away for in his apartment all alone had brought her an obscene sense of pleasure. She supposed it had just been silly girl thoughts, and she attempted to brush them away with a vigorous nod of the head. "That's really exciting, Matthew. They couldn't have picked anyone more suited for the job."
She was trying very hard to be cheerful, but for some reason the news was weighing on her shoulders more heavily than she had anticipated, or could even explain. It wasn't just that perverse pleasure she had felt earlier. That was something that merely sat on the surface; these emerging feelings had roots that ran deep into her, and she could not figure out a proper way to pull them out and throw them away. She could not even explain why they were there, or how they had become so deeply ingrained.
Matthew did not seem to notice she was lost in her own private reverie. He was busy packing the last of his belongings, piling two small satchels and one large knapsack on top of his bulging, creaking trunk. Willow gave him a small smile when he finished and looked towards her.
"Hey… I just remembered that Ariel promised she'd take me shopping for a dress. They're going to be having a large Midsummer's Ball at Runnerspring, I suppose it's an annual tradition or something… but Ariel insists I have a new dress to wear for the occasion, so I need to be going. Have a fun time, Matthew," there was melancholy in her voice, despite her attempts to mask it. Giving him a final smile and no chance to give her a proper goodbye, she let herself out of the dusty apartment and fled down the steps, away from the man she loved, into the welcoming arms of a summer vacation.
"This is exactly what I need," she said quietly to herself and she returned to the palace, her pace brisk. "A vacation, time away from all of this and everything and him, just to have fun and relax, and be with family," she confirmed with a nod of her head. This seemed to be the right solution, although deep inside, Willow could feel those painful roots that twisted around her heart begin to squeeze.
So what if Matthew had told a lie. It had been a small lie. Everybody told them, from the most honourable knight to the hungriest beggar. They were merely a fact of life. He was, in truth, going to the Gallan University Library, and in truth, he would be in home in… thereabouts. It wasn't important that there had been no express post, and he would certainly be back in the middle weeks of August rather than September. Those were merely details. He had recently become in contact with a friend to whom a small red leather bound book was familiar to, and had offered him a flat to crash in if he planned on coming up to Galla to look for it. Matthew jumped at the chance – he jumped at any opportunity to bring happiness into Willow's life. He loved her with every fiber of his being. His number one priority was making her happy. It was the first time in his entire life that a human being had wedged themselves so firmly inside Matthew's heart that he had been forced to rearrange his priorities. Even his family, as naturally bonded to them as he was, came after his studies and his thousands of books, his one true love. At least, that's how it had been for the first nineteen years of his life. Now there was Willow, with her gorgeous red hair and mysterious gray eyes, her sparse freckles over her milky skin. Her imperfections – the small scar on her chin, her stubby fingers and toes, the tiny laughs lines around the corners of her lips – made her even more perfect in Matthew's mind. He had never loved anyone as deeply or fully as he loved Willow, and he had just lied to her and given her up for the summer. What a dumb scholar he was.
He sighed, and reminded himself again that the she was the reason he had let her go, that he was traveling the farthest he had ever been from her since they met for her, that he was devoting his entire summer to her. And he had never even touched her in a sexual way. Matthew blushed as the thought of sex floated in and out of his mind. He had a few sparse girlfriends in the past, rolls in the hay with girls that although being attractive and generally well-mannered and articulate, left him feeling physically drained and emotionally unsatisfied. He knew that if he were ever able to touch Willow, to kiss her and to hold her that every small splinter in his body would be filled her beauty and warmth, and he would finally feel whole. But she would never make the first move; he was still hesitant to even think if she felt anything but platonic friendship for him. Matthew hated being the aggressor in a relationship; he always wanted everything to be equally split, with no one being more in control of the relationship. He didn't want to be passive, but the idea of being aggressive seemed so naturally brutal to him that he shuddered of the mental images the word brought to his mind.
Yet… Matthew couldn't stop thinking of what may be, if he made the first move. He may find out that she feels the same was as he, and they may begin to date. And they may get married, and have children… three or four little boys and girls running around a quaint home with a magnificently stocked library, with Willow doing whatever she wanted with her life, and Matthew content to publish books and essays, making a small but respectable name for himself in the Tortallan intelligencia. It was so tangible; Matthew could taste the sweetbread he'd make in the mornings for the family's breakfast, smell the scent of Willow's freshly washed hair waft through the living room, feel the soft down of his hypothetical children's hair. It was so real, so amazingly perfect, it made Matthew's heart ache when it dissipated, and he was left alone in his damp apartment, his only friends the printed words on lifeless pages.
And so, Matthew the meek scholar began devising a plan. It sounded almost devious, but the intentions were nothing but sweet and loving, if not completely pure. His plan started with a trip to the Gallan University Library, where he spent two weeks with an acquaintance, James, searching for the elusive red book.
A thick coat of dust sat contently on Matthew's clothes and hair. He looked as if he had been standing inside a building when it had collapsed; even his eyebrows were full of dust bunnies.
"There's no way we're going to find it, James. We've been at this for thirteen days and fifteen hours, I think it's about time to give up," he said, sneezing and brushing dust off of his nose. James' head emerged from a huge barrel of books that had not yet been catalogued and placed on shelves.
"What'd you say?"
"I said it's time to give up. I leave for home in seven hours, I'm not even packed, and there's more dust on me than there is in the entire library." James laughed at him, and brushed off some dust from his own lapel.
"I suppose you're right. Let me just finish going through this last barrel, and we'll stop. It's really a shame that you weren't able to find this book. It sounded like it was awfully important to you." Matthew's shoulders drooped slightly as James' words settled on them. The knowledge of the book's importance to Willow was a heavy burden to bear, and James telling him that he had failed only added more pressure.
"I know… but it's obviously not even in Galla, if we scoured the entire library and weren't able to find it." The weak justification did nothing to relieve the weight.
It was at that moment, when Matthew thought he could actually feel his shoulders being pulled from their sockets by the horribly weight of his failure, that James cursed in such a fantastic way that Matthew thought he had struck gold.
"Gods alive James, what is it?"
"I found it! I found it! I found it!" The words echoed through the air, mingling with James' stomping as he danced a small jig. "I'm bloody brilliant; I can't believe that I found it!" He threw a small object over to Matthew, who clumsily caught it. Cautiously, he looked down and brushed the dust off of the object in his hands. The covering of the book was soft and worn; leather. The dust made it seem brown and dull, but when brushed away, a blood red cover was apparent. A small book bound in red leather. That was what Matthew was holding in his dirty hands. That was what James had found at the bottom of a creaking barrel. That was what Willow had desperately been searching for, and now Matthew was holding it in his hands. He did not dare to open it, not wanting to spoil some great surprise Willow may have brewing in her mind. Instead, he yelled with glee, the first time he had ever raised his voice inside a library, and threw his arms around James, joining in the dance.
His return to Corus in Mid-August announced the end of the first phase of his plan. The red book was now always stowed safely away, wrapped up in handkerchiefs, in his pocket. Every time he walked, he felt its small weight bump against his thigh, and it brought a smile to his face to know that that small weight would soon bring so much joy into her life.
Phase two was considerably easier to finish than phase one. Willow would return next week from her summer at Runnerspring, alongside Ariel, Summer and whatever other random Runnerspring offspring had decided to venture back to Corus for the coming autumn. When she returned, Matthew would be different. It started with his apartment. He took part of his savings, which had grown considerably large over the past few months as he had not spent it all on books for once, and bought several large bookcases, which he arranged neatly in his room. Those took care of all the books spread haphazardly throughout the apartment, and allowed the floor, which was finished wood and rather lovely, to be seen for the first time in years. Secondly, with a few hired help, he cleaned the entire apartment from bedroom to bathroom to sitting room, chasing away the dust and bugs, allowing the sun to lazily filter in through the large windows. He changed his sheets, from the dingy grey ones he always used to a pair of freshly bought white linen, soft and billowing. When he was finished, it looked as if a normal nineteen year old bachelor inhabited the place, instead of the lanky bookworm that currently resided. Matthew was incredibly pleased with it all.
The third phase was shortest and most simple of all, and consisted of figuring out how to brush his hair out of his face and behind his ears, and purchasing a new blue shirt and brown breeches that he felt he looked moderately attractive in. He scrubbed his boots scuff marks away, the large ones at least, and gave his entire body a good scrub down. He bought a brand new razor from the marketplace and hesitantly shaved with it, making sure not to cut himself even once.
In the end, he did not look like a different person, but rather more put together and complete. Upon completion of his plan, his face took on a faint glow of pride that made his smile seem wider and brighter, and his eyes sparkle with constant happiness. Now all he needed was for Willow to return, and his summer's work would come together.
Summer at Runnerspring had been more fun than Willow had had in her entire life. Every day there was something to do. The first week she spent desperately trying to remember everyone's name, and even still she ended up calling Kayla and Clarissa by the wrong names. (They were both blonde and had similar temperaments, so much so that it took Willow three days to figure out that they were not the pair of twins Ariel so often spoke of.) After she had figured out everyone's names, and Andrew had realized she was family and stopped flirting with her, it was nothing but laughter and inside jokes the entire four weeks she was there. She spent many of her days just running around the castle and beautiful surrounding lands, playing games with Ariel, Matthew and Jaspar while Michalina sat by and laughed gently at them (she was incredibly mature for her age, she held the air of an almost-thirty year old woman rather than a simply seventeen year old child), and Clarissa and Kayla made witty banter back and forth. Tobias entertained Willow by showing her all the different animals he could change into, in a rare display of friendly outreach. Willow had even passed the official test of the Runnerspring fief.
The entire fief was nothing but glorious beauty. Although the fief was a massive producer of grain, one of the largest in the country, the actual castle and its gardens were completely surrounded by thick, infinitely tall trees. Behind the castle, there were the gardens, some of the most beautiful in the western fiefs, and a large meadow lined with trees. This meadow was where most of the days were spent playing. On the east side of the castle, a moderately sized river flowed. A half mile northeast sat the beginning of the river; a small lake and a massive waterfall flowing over a cliff at least one hundred feet tall. With all the wild stories Willow heard about this supposed cliff, she had thought it was a myth. But it was all true; it actually existed, and jumping off of it was what her task was. It was the official test of the children's courage and pride in Runnerspring, one that had apparently been around for hundreds of years. Ariel's parents did not encourage jumping off the massive rock, but did not speak a single word against it the day they all went out there. Even Matthew, who was only 11, had already taken the plunge. He had a small scar on his knee because of it, and displayed it proudly. Willow knew she had no choice.
The scariest part of the jump was not plunging downwards to her possible demise, but rather the climb up, which was long and difficult, and made the climber perfectly aware of just how high they were. But she made it up the cliff. She looked down from the edge at the sparkling pristine lake, and the nine small figures clapping and cheering her on from the safety of ground far below. She took several deep breathes, and jumped. The sensation had been strange, almost peaceful. It was almost nice to just be out in the middle of nowhere, thinking of nothing, almost floating. Then she had hit the water. Luckily, she had managed to stay mostly straight during the jump, and the force with which her feet hit the surface of the water was quickly distributed throughout her entire body and thus caused no great harm. When she emerged, everyone was jumping and yelling at her with huge smiles, and she climbed out feeling that she truly belonged.
During her month at Runnerspring, she thought of Matthew often. She bought him several small trinkets from the marketplace in the main square of the Runnerspring village, and wanted to write to him on several occasions, although she always ended up being too busy during the day and too tired once she retired to her room at night. Besides, she would always tell herself, Matthew was busy toiling away in Galla, reading tome after tome and no doubt not even thinking of her once.
So when Willow returned to Corus, during the last week of August, she was not expecting to here from Matthew for a few week still. It was a great shock when she heard from the general murmur of the castle that he was indeed at the Tortallan Library, and had gotten a haircut. However, it was not the first surprise she received upon her arrival.
"I'm engaged! Engaged! Willow, you turtle, wake up, I'm ENGAGED!" The voice shrieked and screeched at the top of its lungs. Willow groaned and rolled over in bed; what was this angry cat hissing at her for? Opening her eyes, she saw not an angry cat, but rather a rather hyper redhead, bouncing up and down uncontrollably.
"Huh?"
"Anth proposed to me! Just this morning! Can you believe it? Look at my ring, it's so beautiful!" She bounced over to Willow and held out her bouncing hand. On it sat a thin gold band, which twisted into a knot in the center. There was a diamond there, surrounded by a circle of amethysts. It was a gorgeous ring. The implications of Ariel's screeching finally hit Willow, and she jumped up out bed.
"Goodness! That's wonderful Ari, congratulations," she exclaimed, hugging her cousin and friend tightly. Ariel did not stop bouncing during the hug, and Willow was forced to begin bouncing with her.
"I'm sooo with him Will, it's insane. I couldn't be happier…" she laid down on the bed and began to roll back and forth, softly humming a marriage hymn. Willow laughed joyfully, and stood up. She dressed quickly, in a simply burgundy shirt and purple breeches, and brushed her hair out and away from her face. It bounced in soft curls; Ariel had convinced her to curl it while at Runnerspring, and Willow enjoyed the look immensely.
"I'm going to see if it's true that Matthew's back. Congrats again, Ari," Willow said, and headed out the door. Ariel didn't even notice.
She tried the Library first, and although he wasn't there, a colleague of his told Willow that was home, but had the day off, and to try his apartment if she really needed to see him. Willow thanked him and walked the short distance, and knocked on his door. It swung open as she touched it, and she could not hold in a gasp as the room was revealed to her. Everything was cleaned up and put away. There were several new bookcases in the living room that had never been there before. A rug, which Willow had never seen before because of the massive amounts of books covering it, now decorated the room nicely. White curtains, billowing with a lazy summer wind, sat atop the large windows in the room. It looked like an entirely different home.
Then she saw Matthew. His hair was brushed out of his face and he looked incredibly handsome in a new blue shirt and brown breeches. He walked up to her, and gently touched her cheek, brushing a curl out of her face.
He tried not to gasp as her saw her, standing there in the mid-afternoon sunlight. Her hair was lightened and had golden highlights in it from all the sun exposure. It tumbled around her face and shoulders in soft, curling waves. She was gorgeous.
She blushed and tried to look away as she touched her cheek.
"Matthew…" she started, a soft laugh forming in her mouth. He put his finger to her lips, silencing her. With his thumb and forefinger, he tilted her face up towards his, and leaned in to kiss her.
Matthew had wanted to do this for so long; he tried not to tremble as he leaned his face ever closer to hers. He couldn't stop for fear of completely losing his confidence, and he knew if he didn't go through with this, if he didn't find out, that he would reject it forever. His lips touched hers.
It was the softest, most innocent kiss Willow had ever felt in her entire life. Behind those gentle lips, though, she could feel a passion burning. His hand gently went from her cheek to her shoulder, running down her arm to rest on her waist.
Matthew wanted to jump for joy as he felt her arms go around his neck. A new sense of confidence surged through him, and he gripped her with both arms, more tightly.
Willow's head was swimming with a million things at once, but she couldn't focus on any one thought. Everything was fuzzy; the only thing she knew was that she never wanted to stop kissing him.
Eventually, they broke from each other. Without saying a word, Matthew took her head gently and guided her down the short hallway into his bedroom. The bed was entirely white, the room lit warmly by the sunlight. Willow kissed him as they neared the edge of the bed, allowing her body to bend as he lowered her onto the linen comforter. Their hands searched, hesitantly at first, more insistent later, but always gentle. They found buttons and smooth skin, and everything was perfect. Willow couldn't believe this was happening.
Matthew couldn't believe this was happening. They never spoke words, but communicated everything with their eyes, and their hands. Everything was perfect, everything was going as Matthew had dreamed for so long it would. Life was perfect.
They lay in silence for a long time afterwards, wrapped up together in the new white linen sheets, nothing else covering them. Willow wanted to stay awake, to study his features and run her hands over his sparse chest hair, over the respectable biceps he had been hiding all this time. She wanted to smile up at him, glowing with happiness, and kiss his nose in that silly way Anth and Ariel always did. But she was so overwhelmed and content, she went to sleep. Matthew lay perfectly still, watching his angel dream for a long time, before his own eyelashes fluttered shut, and he rested. At the palace, Ariel and Anthony ate dinner staring into each other's eyes, both dreaming of their life together. Ian and Mel hugged and cried together, finally resolving a long-standing argument, holding each other tightly and promising to never fight again. Tomas touched Summer's belly gently in Tyra, totally in awe. The sun set over them all; casting gold, orange and violet rays over Matthew and Willow's solitary sheet, Anth and Ariel's fine china, Ian and Mel's figures, Summer's bulging belly and Tomas' innocent hand. Everything was well in the world.
When Willow woke, she was still tangled in the sheets, but Matthew was no longer in bed. She sat up, pulling the sheet around her tightly. She suddenly felt horribly embarrassed and alone in the world.
"Matthew?" she peeped, hoping more than anything that he would answer her. There were a few moments of silence, and then Matthew, wearing only his now rumpled breeches, appeared in the doorframe. He was holding a glass of tomato juice, and something wrapped in a white cloth. A smile seeped across Willow's mouth, and she patted the space of bed next to her. He took the cue and sat down next to her, handing her the bright red glass of juice.
"Thanks," she told him, taking a sip of it. It was fresh and tangy, absolutely delicious. It felt good sliding down her throat. With her free hand, she pointed to the object in the handkerchief.
"What's that?" A broad smile formed on Matthew's mouth, and Willow giggled quietly and raised her eyebrows. "Come on now, tell me." Matthew nodded and shifted so he could see her face better.
"I'll do you one better than tell you, I'll show you," he said, unable to mask the excitement in his voice. He slowly unwrapped the object, and Willow's eyes were glued to his hands. He removed the final flap of cloth and everything hit Willow with the power of a tidal wave.
Thomas.
Her parents.
School.
Modern times.
That stupid red book.
Her entire life.
Willow couldn't breathe. She put her hand to her chest absently. Matthew's eyebrows knitted together with worry, and he touched her arm gently,
"Willow? Willow, what's wrong? Please say something…" he said, his face full of confusion and pain. Hadn't he done well? Why was she reacting so strangely to this book that she wanted so badly?
"Matthew… oh gods…" She reached over for the book, accidentally dropping her glass full of tomato juice. It bounced onto the brand new sheets, a bright red stain spreading quickly over everything. Willow didn't even notice. She grasped the book tightly. Matthew jumped up, away from the juice.
"Gods! What is the matter with you, Willow?" he said crossly, upset at her reaction and that she had just ruined his brand new sheets.
"I have to leave," she said flatly. Standing up, she pulled on her shirt backwards and her pants inside out. Shoving her feet into her shoes, she started for the door. Matthew blocked her path.
"No! I'm not letting you leave until you explain what's going on! I went through too much to just let you walk out of here! I put my book aside for almost a year for you! I stopped my research for you! I went to Galla for you, found that stupid little book for you, and cleaned up my apartment for you! I bought new sheets for you!" He raised his voice more than he meant to, but he didn't want to stop now.
"I did everything to find out if you love me or not, and then you go and sleep with me and now you're just walking out?! I don't think so, Willow!" Willow looked up at him. She didn't want to fight, but he had kindled her anger past her breaking point.
"You bought sheets for me? Oh, well then, let me just go and marry you, for gods' sake! You didn't have to do anything for me, so don't blame me for not working on your book! It's your book, you could have worked on it if you want to! Everything you did for me, those were all choices!"
"I didn't make the choice to fall in love with you!"
"Neither did I!" She screamed. There was a beat of silence. Matthew blinked several times. He didn't know whether to forget everything right there and sweep her up into his arms, hugging her tightly and telling her that all he wanted in this world was to spend the rest of his life with her, or just keep yelling. And what did any of this have to do with that stupid book? He was too confused to even know what to say next.
"Will you still love me tomorrow?" Willow said quietly. Matthew looked down at her, puzzled.
"Excuse me?" Willow opened her mouth to explain, but closed it again, defeated. It was no good.
"I need to leave," she said, and turning on her heel, Willow ran out of Matthew's apartment, out of his life, back to home, wherever that was.
"Willow!" Matthew yelled, but she did not stop. The door slammed behind her. He sat down and watched the tomato juice continue to spread over his brand new white sheets.