Chapter 4
"When we turn out the lights. The two of us alone together. Something's just not right. " AJ sang, his gaze resting on Sarah, " And girl, you know I'd never let another's touch. Come between the two of us. And no one else could ever take your place."
AJ continued into the chorus, while the other guys sang backup. His gaze rested on Sarah as he sang, only because she wasn't watching him. The guys had been doing sound-check for the last two hours. AJ had always loved this song, but now that he sang it thinking about Sarah, it took on a whole new meaning.
Just then, Sarah turned her head slightly and smiled when their eyes met. AJ felt a warm feeling, but he couldn't bring himself to smile back. He hadn't felt this way since. Marissa.
He always caught himself thinking about Sarah at the oddest moments. He knew it was love, but he didn't want love right now, it was too much for him.
AJ sighed as his part came to a close. He saw Sarah leave to go someplace with Lexi. He wondered where they were going, but he realized it wasn't any of his business. Sarah could do whatever she wanted.
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"So." Lexi smirked as they entered the dressing room.
"So what?" Sarah questioned.
Lexi rolled her eyes. "Duh Sarah, I wanna know how things are with you and AJ!"
"Oh. that. well."
"Have you done it yet?"
Sarah's jaw dropped. "What?"
"You have, haven't you? So how was it?"
"Oh my God. even if we HAD done it, Lex, I wouldn't tell you!"
"Why not?" Lexi asked in surprise.
"It's none of your business!" Sarah replied.
"No, I don't care about you not tellin' me. Why haven't you done it yet?" Lexi giggled. "AJ's supposed to be one of the best, ya know."
"Shut up!"
"I wonder how big he is?" Lexi was in her own little world.
"Lex!"
"He's probably not huge, but good enough."
"Lexi!"
"Huh?"
"I said shut up!"
Lexi shrugged. "Fine, but if you're not wondering, someone has to."
Sarah blushed. "Who says I'm not wondering?"
"Really?" Lexi smiled. "So what do you think? Is he crooked?"
Sarah burst out laughing just as Kevin came into the room. The girls tried to stop laughing while Kevin gave them each a funny look.
"Ya two seen Cassie or JJ?" He finally asked.
"They're shopping with Claudia." Sarah answered.
Kevin nodded, then left the room. When he was gone Sarah smacked Lexi's arm.
"Ow! What was that for?" She asked.
"You always get me trouble!" Sarah joked.
"You get yourself into trouble." Lexi laughed.
After a few minutes of laughter, Sarah sobered slightly. She saw an envelope with her name on it resting on the vanity. She slowly reached to pick it up.
Sarah shrugged and slipped it into her bag. She smiled at Lexi and told her they better get back for their sound check.
As the hours passed Sarah pushed thoughts of the envelope to the back of her mind. When she got back to the hotel though she pulled it out. With a trembling hand she pulled out the note and slowly read it.
" The time is drawing nearer for your final show. No longer will they scream your name, you face they'll never know. Your life, as you know it, is almost over, my friend. "
Sarah didn't even realize she was shaking until the door creaked open. She screamed, knocking over a lamp.
"What the hell is going on?" AJ hissed.
Sarah felt her body instantly relax against him. She reached out and hugged him. She sighed as his lips touched hers.
AJ's body reacted instantly to having Sarah in his arms. He was, well, horny, but could you blame the guy. Touring with five specimens of the opposite sex was playing havoc with his resolve to wait until she was ready to make love.
"AJ," Sarah's soft whisper was his undoing.
His hands caressed her body, from her lips, all the way to the bottom of her breasts. He stopped there, wondering if Sarah was really into this or not. She only replied by leaning into him.
He remembered once eavesdropping on the girls as they talked about their bras. Sarah mentioned getting a black silk one - and AJ was dying to get a peek! He found the hem of her shirt and slowly pulled it off. "Damn," AJ muttered as he saw her.
"Sarah was breathing hard. "What?"
"It's not the black one."
"What?" She was confused, looking down at her red lace bra.
"Nothing." AJ moved closer and kissed her.
Sarah's fingers ran through his short hair, and he loved the feeling. He slipped a finger underneath one of her bra straps, and slowly lowered it, making her flinch slightly. AJ repeated the action with the other strap and continued kissing her everywhere.
"Oh my God." Sarah sucked in a breath as AJ's mouth came in contact with her right breast.
AJ stopped what he was doing and laid her back on the bed gently. Once he had her there he continued bringing her to new peaks.
'She is so beautiful,' he thought as he finally saw all of her. He just wished he could make it better for her somehow.
"AJ?" Sarah's dark brown eyes looked up at him. "Is something wrong?"
AJ stared down at her and sighed inwardly. No, nothing was wrong with her. it was him. He was torn between what he wanted and what was right.
That's when Sarah threw AJ off guard. She slowly undid his jeans and slipped her hand into his boxers.
For a few minutes he let the torture continue before reaching for the condom in his pocket. He kissed her as he slowly entered her.
"You sure?" AJ questioned one last time.
Sarah nodded, knowing this was right. She felt complete now.
Later, AJ lay beside Sarah, watching her sleep. He smiled as he remembered their passion.
The thought of him ending things with Sarah sobered him slightly. This would end and a relationship just wasn't possible. Somewhere down the road he'd lose interest, even if he was in love at the moment.
Hadn't he told Marissa he loved her? Now they were only friends. Then there was Amanda, who was also a friend. Now there was Sarah. he hadn't said he loved her, but he knew he did. Trouble was, he couldn't love her forever.
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Sarah woke up the next morning, finding herself alone. For a moment she was sad, but then she remembered the guys had an early interview. Holding that in mind she slipped into the shower.
As she stepped out of the bathroom after her shower a knock sounded at the door. She went to the door and opened it slowly. Claudia smiled back at her, carrying a plate of bagels and orange juice. Sarah smiled back and let her in.
"Mornin'," she said brightly as she stepped in.
"Hey." Sarah greeted her. "Sorry. I just got out of the shower."
"It's okay." Claudia smiled. "I just wanted to have breakfast with someone and I tried the others earlier and they were all sleeping Katie, who nearly killed me, but I think she had Nick in her room. Go get dressed."
Sarah nodded with a slight laugh as she entered the bathroom with her clothes. The thought of Katie having Nick in her room wanted to make her burst out into laughter. When Sarah emerged a few minutes later, Claudia was sitting on the bed drinking her juice.
"Nice top," she said as Sarah sat down.
"It's Katie's." Sarah grinned.
"Does she know you have it?" Claudia asked with a soft laugh.
"Yeah," Sarah shrugged.
"And you still have it because?"
"Cause I like, and it looks better on me." Sarah winked. "At least that's what I'll tell her when she asks."
Claudia laughed again and shook her head in amazement. Sarah had no problem telling the truth.or even stretching it a little to get her way.
"So what really brings you to my room this morning, Hun?" Sarah asked, knowing damn well that Claudia was never that spontaneous.
Claudia sighed deeply. "It's kind of a long story."
Sarah shrugged. "We have all day. We're off."
Claudia paused. "Well, then. I guess. see its Howie."
"Howie? What's wrong with Howie?"
"Nothing. except he has this like obsession with me!"
Sarah gasped. "Howie likes you?"
Claudia rolled her eyes. "No! In fact, I don't think he likes me at all!"
Sarah stared at Claudia confused. "So. you like Howie, but he doesn't like you back?"
"No, I like Howie, just not like that. You know what I mean?" Claudia struggled to explain. Sarah merely nodded. She didn't see the problem. "See, it's like ever since we've met, he's been trying to beat me."
"Beat you? At what?" Sarah asked.
"Everything!" Claudia exclaimed. "It all started with our single. When it went to number one Howie said it was a fluke. Now he's going out of his way to be better than me."
Sarah couldn't help but laugh. "So? Who's winning?"
Claudia smiled. "Me. but I don't even try anymore."
"So what's wrong now? I mean. why don't you just tell Howie that there's no game to win?" Sarah suggested.
"I tried!" Claudia sighed loudly.
"But?"
"But now he has it in his head that I'm tricking him or something. He has this stupid plan." Claudia said.
"Plan?" Sarah questioned.
Claudia rolled her eyes. "It's really dumb, but he calls it, 'The Battle of the Bands'."
Sarah smiled. "Battle, huh? I'd say so."
"It includes all of us so don't look so happy yet." Claudia warned.
"What?" Sarah looked surprised.
Claudia smiled. "Howie's come up with this challenge. We're going to have a charity concert after this tour."
"How do we win this thing?" Sarah asked.
"You really wanna know?"
"If we're gonna end this, we might as well do it right." Sarah smiled.
Claudia giggled. "The idea is that we let the fans decide."
"So the group with the most votes wins?" Sarah asked intrigued.
"Exactly." Claudia nodded. "Everyone who buys our CD votes for us or the guys if they buy theirs."
"So what about the concert thing?" Sarah asked.
"That's where the winner will be announced."
"So when does this all start?"
"As soon as possible." Claudia sighed. "Jive thinks it's great."
"Wow," Sarah said, a wide smile on her face.
"You actually like this idea?" Claudia laughed.
"Why not?" Sarah grinned. "It sounds like fun. and we could so win."
Claudia looked at Sarah and saw how happy she looked. Claudia knew it couldn't just be the contest that made her that happy. She said as much as Sarah continued to grin like an idiot.
"Hmm?" Sarah looked at Claudia, hearing the question, but not really registering.
"I asked why you were so happy today."
"I'm." Sarah blushed slightly. "Just well rested I guess."
"Uh huh." Claudia laughed. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me everything. Just know I don't buy a word you're telling me."
Sarah made a face at her, then laughed. "If you really wanna know. AJ and I had a really good time last night. That's all I'm saying."
Claudia's eyes widened in shock. "Really? You mean. you and him. really?"
Sarah laughed, feeling better than she had in weeks! Claudia caught onto her happiness and laughed too. Sarah was so happy she had forgotten about the letter she'd been getting.
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AJ shifted in his seat, feeling discomfort and impatience fill him. This interview was taking forever. Sighing inwardly, he settled into his chair again, watching the clock as it ticked by slowly.
"Okay boys, thanks again."
AJ jumped out of his chair, shook the guy's hand and left before anyone could protest. When the guys caught up with him they gave him a funny look. He pretended not to see it as he got in the van and just stared out the window on the way back to the hotel. Behind him Brian and Nick were talking about something. When he overheard Sarah's name he turned around and looked at them.
"What?" Brian questioned.
"What were y'all saying about Sarah?" AJ asked finally.
Brian looked at Nick, then they both looked at him. "We just said that there was a guy in the lobby asking for her room number." Nick replied.
AJ frowned. "When?"
"When we passed the front desk. We head him ask for Miss Sarah Dawson's room number." Nick explained. "We thought it was weird, but then we noticed he was a delivery guy."
"They didn't tell him the room number did they?" AJ wondered, hoping they hadn't.
"Of course not." Brian shook his head. "They just took the package."
AJ felt relieved. "Good."
Nick smiled suddenly. "You really like her, don't you?'
AJ looked at Nick, knowing he couldn't hide much from the guys. "Yeah, you could say that."
Brian laughed. "You're crazy about her man, admit it!"
AJ sighed and rolled his eyes. "So what if I am? You're crazy about Lexi and you're not doing anything about it."
Brian's smile faded and hurt entered his eyes. AJ was sorry for being so blunt, but he wasn't going to take all the crap this morning. AJ just didn't get why Brian wouldn't break up with Leighanne. Sure, she was a great girl, but it wasn't the end of the world to stop loving someone and move onto someone else.
"It's not that easy, AJ." Brian said softly.
"Why wouldn't it be?" AJ wondered, honestly curious.
"Because love isn't that easy. Never has been and it's not going to start anytime soon." Brian said. "Sure, it's easy to say you're not in love with someone anymore, but that doesn't mean your heart is ready to let go. And when somebody new comes along, you can tell yourself all the reasons you shouldn't like them, but you can't help love them anyway."
AJ frowned. "You're not making any sense."
Brian laughed. "Exactly. An emotion as great as love never really makes any sense."
"So you're saying that you love Lexi, but you still love Leigh?" AJ questioned slowly.
Brian shrugged. "Guess so."
"Well. how do you decide? I mean, if you love both of them, which one do you pick?" AJ asked.
"I don't know." Brian simply replied.
AJ looked over at Nick who looked lost in thought with a slight smile on his face. He remembered walking in on Nick and Katie kissing a few days ago. He wondered what Brought that on. They were always at each other's throats - then one day they were kissing! Now a days they were always together.
"Hey AJ," Nick spoke up.
"Yeah?"
Nick looked a little hesitant, but looked AJ in the eye when he asked. "Do you think you're in love with Sarah?"
AJ was taken by surprise. He hadn't expected that from Nick, but he wanted to answer honestly.
"I." He hesitated, wondering if it was the right thing to say. "I think I do."
"You think you do?" Nick looked doubtful.
AJ nodded. "I care about her. I really do, but."
"You can't tell her, can you?" Brian said wisely. "For once in your life, you're scared to say you love her."
AJ stared at Brian. Was that it? He supposed it was. He knew from the beginning that Sarah was one of those girls who didn't take those words lightly. well, neither did he, but he had a sneaky suspicion that he hadn't known a forever kind o love until he had met her. she would want an "Eternity". Did he want to give that to her?
"AJ?" Nick looked at him questioningly.
"What?" AJ asked, a little annoyed now.
"If you love somebody and you can't tell them, wouldn't that mean something?" Nick asked.
"Like what?" AJ wondered, but he guessed that if he looked in his heart, he already knew the answer.
"Like it's the real thing." Nick replied.
AJ refused to see Nick's point. It couldn't be the real thing. could it? He wasn't ready for the real thing. at least he didn't want to be.
*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Sarah stared down at the box that rested on her lap. The same writing that was haunting her was right there in front of her. She had a feeling this was the end of the letters and the cards.
She untied the ribbon that was wrapped around the brown box, and then lifted the lid. Tissue paper covered whatever was inside. Sarah hesitated. She inhaled a exhaled slowly, catching the funny odor of an unfamiliar object.
Slowly she took off the first layer of tissue paper, finding a plain piece of paper with a few words. She scanned them slowly.
"Secret obsessions fill the heart and mind endlessly. Love brings the end of Eternity. The time has come, my friend, for your last dance. One more song and then it's the end."
Sarah's hand shook as she stared into the box. A dark substance was staining the rest of the tissue. She paled when she realized it was blood. With trembling hands she lifted the paper and found a heart; obviously not your valentine cut out. She pushed the box away and ran to throw up.
When she emerged ten minutes later, she shoved everything back into the box and took it out into the hall. She threw it down the garbage shoot she saw a maid use earlier, and then ran back to her room.
Even if she thought of a way to tell the girls, she'd have to wait until later when they got back from the movie they took Josh to. Just as she was starting to relax there was a knock at the door.
"Who is it?"
"It's me. AJ" He replied.
She opened the door quickly and threw herself into his arms. She relaxed almost instantly.
"Hi." AJ said finally.
"Hi yourself." Sarah replied. "How'd the interview go?"
"Watch it tonight." AJ shrugged.
Sarah smiled, and then led him into the room, closing and bolting the door behind them. She turned to see AJ watching her carefully. She just pulled him down onto the couch with her and snuggled into his embrace.
"Sarah, we need to talk." AJ said gently.
Sarah sat up and looked into his eyes. "It's about last night, isn't it?"
"Well, yea."
"AJ, listen. don't feel bad, ok? I wanted this to happen as much as you did, but I'm not sorry that you were my first." Sarah smiled lovingly. "AJ, I."
"Don't." AJ warned sternly, turning away from her.
Sarah blinked. "Don't? Don't what? AJ, I just wanted to tell you."
AJ let out a heavy sigh. His mind screamed at him not to say what he was about to say, but he did anyway. "Sarah, I can't do this anymore."
Sarah stared at him in shock. "What?"
AJ made the mistake of looking into her eyes. He saw the hurt there. her broken heart. "Sarah, I." He was at a loss for words. Him, the master of words, the sweet talker.. The idiot!
"You what?" Sarah said between clenched teeth. "You had your fun, now you're done? You just going to drop me like all your other girlfriends? Is that it?" AJ opened his mouth to protest, but he found he couldn't. "Now that you've taken my. virginity." Sarah struggled, "you don't wanna see me anymore? Was that all you wanted from me?"
AJ started shaking his head. "Sarah, you don't understand."
"No AJ, I don't," Sarah cried, "But I do know one thing. If you leave now, don't bother coming back! You'll miss me, AJ. and I know that for a fact because you've never lied to me and you're heart can't lie to me either." AJ was silent. "Get out."
"Sarah." AJ said softly, reaching for her.
"Just get out!" She screamed loudly.
AJ winced. Okay. he should get out. Slowly, he turned for the door and moved. His legs felt like stone, not willing to leave her, but she didn't want him. He couldn't blame her, now could he? He broke her heart and he was the biggest asshole in the world. He knew it, Sarah knew it, and by tomorrow, everyone else would know it too.
"Bye." AJ said quietly, not expecting an answer. He opened the door and left the room, shutting it behind him. He went down the hall to his room and went inside. Dropping onto the bed he stared at the ceiling, wondering why life was so damn confusing.
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"Don't wanna lose you now. baby. I know we can win this. don't wanna lose you now. forever again."
Sarah listened to the words that the guys sang, and wished they meant something to her. At one point, they had, but ever since AJ had told her it was over. She never would've guessed she could hurt this much.
"Sarah. you have to put on your microphone now." Claudia's voice broke through her thoughts and she looked up.
"C'mon suga', smile." Katie said hugging her cousin.
"I'll try." Sarah shrugged. She went to the sound technician and got her mic. While they adjusted it to her she saw AJ coming off stage with the rest of the guys.
On the plane to this city, she sat between Katie and Claudia, not even bothering to glance over at him.. No matter how much Katie wanted her to.
AJ saw Sarah and thought she looked beautiful. She was only wearing tear-a- ways and a tank top, but it didn't matter. She was too beautiful for words, and he wanted to tell her that. Unfortunately, she turned away and followed the rest of the girls as they went out to do their sound check. AJ looked away, knowing he was being an idiot, but not knowing what else to do.
"Hey AJ." Nick smiled as he sat beside AJ.
"Hey Nick." AJ said glumly.
Nick looked at AJ, seeing his obvious unhappiness. "What's wrong? You look like your dog died or something."
AJ looked at Nick. "No, you dumbass. I'm fine."
Nick shrugged. "Could've fooled me."
AJ shook his head. "Are you always this stupid or what?"
Nick looked insulted. "No need to get mean man. I was just worried bout ya. Ever since you broke up with Sarah you've been miserable."
"How did you know?"
Nick nodded towards the stage and smiled. "Katie," he simply said. They both slightly laughed as she waved and Lexi crashed into her.
AJ sighed. He knew Sarah would tell the girls. so why did it bother him that everyone knew what a jerk he was?
"Uncle AJ." Josh's little voice reached him and he smiled.
"Hey JJ, how are ya?"
"New toy?" Nick gestured to the mini basketball he held.
"It's a ball." Josh said matter-of-factly.
"Your dad get that for you?" AJ asked.
Josh shook his head. "No Uncle Brian did."
AJ nodded. "Cool. So you like basketball, huh?"
Josh nodded. "Uh huh. Uncle Brian says I'm better than you."
AJ looked over at Nick, who was trying not to laugh, then smiled down at Josh. "He said that, huh? Well you tell him that when you grow up, you'll be taller than him."
Nick burst out laughing as Josh looked at his two "uncles" with a weird look. AJ just smiled as he hugged Josh. That kid sure knew how to make someone feel better. Kevin was one hell of a lucky guy.
"Hey JJ, come with me. I'll show you how to shoot some good hoops." Nick said suddenly picking him up.
AJ watched them leave, not knowing why he was suddenly so sad. When he thought about it, he realized he would miss Josh when he was gone. This tour wouldn't last forever, and soon, Josh would be going home with Cassie and the girls.
Sarah's words echoed in his mind. "You're going to miss me AJ. I know you will."
AJ sighed deeply. Yeah. he would miss her. He already did.
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Sarah pushed open the door to her hotel room, feeling completely drained. She sighed as she closed the door behind her and dropped her bag to the floor. Today's show had taken all her energy. Reaching for the light switch, she felt a shiver go down her spine. That was odd.. The window was open.
Suddenly Sarah didn't want to be in her room all alone. She flipped the light switch, but nothing happened. Her mind raced. and she felt like screaming. Stay calm, she told herself, just open the door and get out.
She opened her mouth to scream anyway, reaching for the door at the same time, the felt the hand cover her mouth. She sucked in a breath, and then realized what a mistake that was, as she smelt the strong chemicals. Her mind whirled as she passed out.
The kidnapper was breathing hard, having had to climb five stories to get to this damned room. Hoisting the girl onto his shoulders, he quickly left the room, running down the hall before he was spotted. Making it to the stairs, he slipped through the door and down to the basement. His partner was waiting by the window to grab the girl.
His partner opened the window carefully, reaching in to grab the girl. Quickly, they got her out of the building and into the car. Then they were racing through the streets towards the boss's house.
When they arrived at the house, they unloaded the girl from the car and carried her inside. As they had been instructed, they left the girl in the basement of the house and found their money. Now Sarah's fate lies in the hands of "the boss".
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AJ lifted his head as he heard a door slam. It was Sarah's door. AJ knew because his room was right next to her room. For some reason it bothered him
Sliding out of bed, he opened the door and looked at Sarah's. It was just a door, but something made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He moved towards it cautiously, and then touched the door knob. To his surprise, it opened at his touch.
Something was definitely wrong. He heard another door slam shut, and he turned to the noise. He guessed it was the door at the end of the hall that led to the stairs. Sarah wouldn't use the stairs. would she? He shook his head. nope not this late.
AJ walked into Sarah's room and tried to turn on the lights. When none went on, he felt a chill enter his body. He looked ahead of him and saw the balcony window open. Sarah wouldn't leave that open. When he moved towards it, he almost tripped over something. It was her bag.
'Damn, she was gone,' he thought.
Going back to the doorway, he spotted a white piece of paper resting on the table in the living room. He moved close, and then saw that it was actually a pile of papers.
AJ sat down slowly and picked up the first letter. Skimming it, cold fear entered his heart and he swore. He didn't bother reading the rest. He took them and ran down the hall to Kevin's room. He knocked until Kevin answered the door, looking quite a mess.
"I'm sorry man. I didn't mean to wake you." AJ said hurriedly as he pushed past Kevin. "But something's wrong.. I." He stopped short when he saw Cassie come out of the bedroom. "Cassie. I. you." He turned back to Kevin, who was smiling sheepishly.
"Hi AJ," Cassie said softly. She saw the fear in his eyes. "What's wrong?"
"I. It's Sarah."
Cassie immediately came forward. "What is it? What happened?"
Kevin came towards AJ as well. He showed them the notes he found, and then told them what he had seen and heard. Kevin reached for the phone and dialed 911.
"It's okay, Cass. Kevin can handle this." AJ said, though he wasn't sure.
Cassie nodded slowly, looking numb. AJ came closer and hugged her. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." Cassie said absently.
AJ sighed. "It is. I know it is."
"How can it be your fault?" Cassie wondered.
"I told her I didn't love her." AJ said sadly. " Or I.. just didn't say that I did. when I do."
Cassie looked at him with wise, but sad eyes. "That still doesn't mean it's your fault."
"But if anything happens to her. "AJ trailed off, knowing he didn't want to think about it. He just wanted Sarah back.
Cassie pulled back slightly, and looked into AJ's eyes. She saw the truth there. she always had. She had this uncanny way of knowing the truth, no matter how much people tried to hide it.
"It's nobody's fault Sarah's gone." Cassie told him gently. "But AJ, no matter what happens, you'll always have her. she loves you."
"She hates me." AJ said sadly.
Cassie shook her head. "No, she loves you. and she always will."
AJ felt tears fill his eyes and he blinked them away. He never cried. He just hoped Cassie was right, because as soon as Sarah was back, he wasn't letting her go.
"When we turn out the lights. The two of us alone together. Something's just not right. " AJ sang, his gaze resting on Sarah, " And girl, you know I'd never let another's touch. Come between the two of us. And no one else could ever take your place."
AJ continued into the chorus, while the other guys sang backup. His gaze rested on Sarah as he sang, only because she wasn't watching him. The guys had been doing sound-check for the last two hours. AJ had always loved this song, but now that he sang it thinking about Sarah, it took on a whole new meaning.
Just then, Sarah turned her head slightly and smiled when their eyes met. AJ felt a warm feeling, but he couldn't bring himself to smile back. He hadn't felt this way since. Marissa.
He always caught himself thinking about Sarah at the oddest moments. He knew it was love, but he didn't want love right now, it was too much for him.
AJ sighed as his part came to a close. He saw Sarah leave to go someplace with Lexi. He wondered where they were going, but he realized it wasn't any of his business. Sarah could do whatever she wanted.
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"So." Lexi smirked as they entered the dressing room.
"So what?" Sarah questioned.
Lexi rolled her eyes. "Duh Sarah, I wanna know how things are with you and AJ!"
"Oh. that. well."
"Have you done it yet?"
Sarah's jaw dropped. "What?"
"You have, haven't you? So how was it?"
"Oh my God. even if we HAD done it, Lex, I wouldn't tell you!"
"Why not?" Lexi asked in surprise.
"It's none of your business!" Sarah replied.
"No, I don't care about you not tellin' me. Why haven't you done it yet?" Lexi giggled. "AJ's supposed to be one of the best, ya know."
"Shut up!"
"I wonder how big he is?" Lexi was in her own little world.
"Lex!"
"He's probably not huge, but good enough."
"Lexi!"
"Huh?"
"I said shut up!"
Lexi shrugged. "Fine, but if you're not wondering, someone has to."
Sarah blushed. "Who says I'm not wondering?"
"Really?" Lexi smiled. "So what do you think? Is he crooked?"
Sarah burst out laughing just as Kevin came into the room. The girls tried to stop laughing while Kevin gave them each a funny look.
"Ya two seen Cassie or JJ?" He finally asked.
"They're shopping with Claudia." Sarah answered.
Kevin nodded, then left the room. When he was gone Sarah smacked Lexi's arm.
"Ow! What was that for?" She asked.
"You always get me trouble!" Sarah joked.
"You get yourself into trouble." Lexi laughed.
After a few minutes of laughter, Sarah sobered slightly. She saw an envelope with her name on it resting on the vanity. She slowly reached to pick it up.
Sarah shrugged and slipped it into her bag. She smiled at Lexi and told her they better get back for their sound check.
As the hours passed Sarah pushed thoughts of the envelope to the back of her mind. When she got back to the hotel though she pulled it out. With a trembling hand she pulled out the note and slowly read it.
" The time is drawing nearer for your final show. No longer will they scream your name, you face they'll never know. Your life, as you know it, is almost over, my friend. "
Sarah didn't even realize she was shaking until the door creaked open. She screamed, knocking over a lamp.
"What the hell is going on?" AJ hissed.
Sarah felt her body instantly relax against him. She reached out and hugged him. She sighed as his lips touched hers.
AJ's body reacted instantly to having Sarah in his arms. He was, well, horny, but could you blame the guy. Touring with five specimens of the opposite sex was playing havoc with his resolve to wait until she was ready to make love.
"AJ," Sarah's soft whisper was his undoing.
His hands caressed her body, from her lips, all the way to the bottom of her breasts. He stopped there, wondering if Sarah was really into this or not. She only replied by leaning into him.
He remembered once eavesdropping on the girls as they talked about their bras. Sarah mentioned getting a black silk one - and AJ was dying to get a peek! He found the hem of her shirt and slowly pulled it off. "Damn," AJ muttered as he saw her.
"Sarah was breathing hard. "What?"
"It's not the black one."
"What?" She was confused, looking down at her red lace bra.
"Nothing." AJ moved closer and kissed her.
Sarah's fingers ran through his short hair, and he loved the feeling. He slipped a finger underneath one of her bra straps, and slowly lowered it, making her flinch slightly. AJ repeated the action with the other strap and continued kissing her everywhere.
"Oh my God." Sarah sucked in a breath as AJ's mouth came in contact with her right breast.
AJ stopped what he was doing and laid her back on the bed gently. Once he had her there he continued bringing her to new peaks.
'She is so beautiful,' he thought as he finally saw all of her. He just wished he could make it better for her somehow.
"AJ?" Sarah's dark brown eyes looked up at him. "Is something wrong?"
AJ stared down at her and sighed inwardly. No, nothing was wrong with her. it was him. He was torn between what he wanted and what was right.
That's when Sarah threw AJ off guard. She slowly undid his jeans and slipped her hand into his boxers.
For a few minutes he let the torture continue before reaching for the condom in his pocket. He kissed her as he slowly entered her.
"You sure?" AJ questioned one last time.
Sarah nodded, knowing this was right. She felt complete now.
Later, AJ lay beside Sarah, watching her sleep. He smiled as he remembered their passion.
The thought of him ending things with Sarah sobered him slightly. This would end and a relationship just wasn't possible. Somewhere down the road he'd lose interest, even if he was in love at the moment.
Hadn't he told Marissa he loved her? Now they were only friends. Then there was Amanda, who was also a friend. Now there was Sarah. he hadn't said he loved her, but he knew he did. Trouble was, he couldn't love her forever.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~
Sarah woke up the next morning, finding herself alone. For a moment she was sad, but then she remembered the guys had an early interview. Holding that in mind she slipped into the shower.
As she stepped out of the bathroom after her shower a knock sounded at the door. She went to the door and opened it slowly. Claudia smiled back at her, carrying a plate of bagels and orange juice. Sarah smiled back and let her in.
"Mornin'," she said brightly as she stepped in.
"Hey." Sarah greeted her. "Sorry. I just got out of the shower."
"It's okay." Claudia smiled. "I just wanted to have breakfast with someone and I tried the others earlier and they were all sleeping Katie, who nearly killed me, but I think she had Nick in her room. Go get dressed."
Sarah nodded with a slight laugh as she entered the bathroom with her clothes. The thought of Katie having Nick in her room wanted to make her burst out into laughter. When Sarah emerged a few minutes later, Claudia was sitting on the bed drinking her juice.
"Nice top," she said as Sarah sat down.
"It's Katie's." Sarah grinned.
"Does she know you have it?" Claudia asked with a soft laugh.
"Yeah," Sarah shrugged.
"And you still have it because?"
"Cause I like, and it looks better on me." Sarah winked. "At least that's what I'll tell her when she asks."
Claudia laughed again and shook her head in amazement. Sarah had no problem telling the truth.or even stretching it a little to get her way.
"So what really brings you to my room this morning, Hun?" Sarah asked, knowing damn well that Claudia was never that spontaneous.
Claudia sighed deeply. "It's kind of a long story."
Sarah shrugged. "We have all day. We're off."
Claudia paused. "Well, then. I guess. see its Howie."
"Howie? What's wrong with Howie?"
"Nothing. except he has this like obsession with me!"
Sarah gasped. "Howie likes you?"
Claudia rolled her eyes. "No! In fact, I don't think he likes me at all!"
Sarah stared at Claudia confused. "So. you like Howie, but he doesn't like you back?"
"No, I like Howie, just not like that. You know what I mean?" Claudia struggled to explain. Sarah merely nodded. She didn't see the problem. "See, it's like ever since we've met, he's been trying to beat me."
"Beat you? At what?" Sarah asked.
"Everything!" Claudia exclaimed. "It all started with our single. When it went to number one Howie said it was a fluke. Now he's going out of his way to be better than me."
Sarah couldn't help but laugh. "So? Who's winning?"
Claudia smiled. "Me. but I don't even try anymore."
"So what's wrong now? I mean. why don't you just tell Howie that there's no game to win?" Sarah suggested.
"I tried!" Claudia sighed loudly.
"But?"
"But now he has it in his head that I'm tricking him or something. He has this stupid plan." Claudia said.
"Plan?" Sarah questioned.
Claudia rolled her eyes. "It's really dumb, but he calls it, 'The Battle of the Bands'."
Sarah smiled. "Battle, huh? I'd say so."
"It includes all of us so don't look so happy yet." Claudia warned.
"What?" Sarah looked surprised.
Claudia smiled. "Howie's come up with this challenge. We're going to have a charity concert after this tour."
"How do we win this thing?" Sarah asked.
"You really wanna know?"
"If we're gonna end this, we might as well do it right." Sarah smiled.
Claudia giggled. "The idea is that we let the fans decide."
"So the group with the most votes wins?" Sarah asked intrigued.
"Exactly." Claudia nodded. "Everyone who buys our CD votes for us or the guys if they buy theirs."
"So what about the concert thing?" Sarah asked.
"That's where the winner will be announced."
"So when does this all start?"
"As soon as possible." Claudia sighed. "Jive thinks it's great."
"Wow," Sarah said, a wide smile on her face.
"You actually like this idea?" Claudia laughed.
"Why not?" Sarah grinned. "It sounds like fun. and we could so win."
Claudia looked at Sarah and saw how happy she looked. Claudia knew it couldn't just be the contest that made her that happy. She said as much as Sarah continued to grin like an idiot.
"Hmm?" Sarah looked at Claudia, hearing the question, but not really registering.
"I asked why you were so happy today."
"I'm." Sarah blushed slightly. "Just well rested I guess."
"Uh huh." Claudia laughed. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me everything. Just know I don't buy a word you're telling me."
Sarah made a face at her, then laughed. "If you really wanna know. AJ and I had a really good time last night. That's all I'm saying."
Claudia's eyes widened in shock. "Really? You mean. you and him. really?"
Sarah laughed, feeling better than she had in weeks! Claudia caught onto her happiness and laughed too. Sarah was so happy she had forgotten about the letter she'd been getting.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
AJ shifted in his seat, feeling discomfort and impatience fill him. This interview was taking forever. Sighing inwardly, he settled into his chair again, watching the clock as it ticked by slowly.
"Okay boys, thanks again."
AJ jumped out of his chair, shook the guy's hand and left before anyone could protest. When the guys caught up with him they gave him a funny look. He pretended not to see it as he got in the van and just stared out the window on the way back to the hotel. Behind him Brian and Nick were talking about something. When he overheard Sarah's name he turned around and looked at them.
"What?" Brian questioned.
"What were y'all saying about Sarah?" AJ asked finally.
Brian looked at Nick, then they both looked at him. "We just said that there was a guy in the lobby asking for her room number." Nick replied.
AJ frowned. "When?"
"When we passed the front desk. We head him ask for Miss Sarah Dawson's room number." Nick explained. "We thought it was weird, but then we noticed he was a delivery guy."
"They didn't tell him the room number did they?" AJ wondered, hoping they hadn't.
"Of course not." Brian shook his head. "They just took the package."
AJ felt relieved. "Good."
Nick smiled suddenly. "You really like her, don't you?'
AJ looked at Nick, knowing he couldn't hide much from the guys. "Yeah, you could say that."
Brian laughed. "You're crazy about her man, admit it!"
AJ sighed and rolled his eyes. "So what if I am? You're crazy about Lexi and you're not doing anything about it."
Brian's smile faded and hurt entered his eyes. AJ was sorry for being so blunt, but he wasn't going to take all the crap this morning. AJ just didn't get why Brian wouldn't break up with Leighanne. Sure, she was a great girl, but it wasn't the end of the world to stop loving someone and move onto someone else.
"It's not that easy, AJ." Brian said softly.
"Why wouldn't it be?" AJ wondered, honestly curious.
"Because love isn't that easy. Never has been and it's not going to start anytime soon." Brian said. "Sure, it's easy to say you're not in love with someone anymore, but that doesn't mean your heart is ready to let go. And when somebody new comes along, you can tell yourself all the reasons you shouldn't like them, but you can't help love them anyway."
AJ frowned. "You're not making any sense."
Brian laughed. "Exactly. An emotion as great as love never really makes any sense."
"So you're saying that you love Lexi, but you still love Leigh?" AJ questioned slowly.
Brian shrugged. "Guess so."
"Well. how do you decide? I mean, if you love both of them, which one do you pick?" AJ asked.
"I don't know." Brian simply replied.
AJ looked over at Nick who looked lost in thought with a slight smile on his face. He remembered walking in on Nick and Katie kissing a few days ago. He wondered what Brought that on. They were always at each other's throats - then one day they were kissing! Now a days they were always together.
"Hey AJ," Nick spoke up.
"Yeah?"
Nick looked a little hesitant, but looked AJ in the eye when he asked. "Do you think you're in love with Sarah?"
AJ was taken by surprise. He hadn't expected that from Nick, but he wanted to answer honestly.
"I." He hesitated, wondering if it was the right thing to say. "I think I do."
"You think you do?" Nick looked doubtful.
AJ nodded. "I care about her. I really do, but."
"You can't tell her, can you?" Brian said wisely. "For once in your life, you're scared to say you love her."
AJ stared at Brian. Was that it? He supposed it was. He knew from the beginning that Sarah was one of those girls who didn't take those words lightly. well, neither did he, but he had a sneaky suspicion that he hadn't known a forever kind o love until he had met her. she would want an "Eternity". Did he want to give that to her?
"AJ?" Nick looked at him questioningly.
"What?" AJ asked, a little annoyed now.
"If you love somebody and you can't tell them, wouldn't that mean something?" Nick asked.
"Like what?" AJ wondered, but he guessed that if he looked in his heart, he already knew the answer.
"Like it's the real thing." Nick replied.
AJ refused to see Nick's point. It couldn't be the real thing. could it? He wasn't ready for the real thing. at least he didn't want to be.
*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Sarah stared down at the box that rested on her lap. The same writing that was haunting her was right there in front of her. She had a feeling this was the end of the letters and the cards.
She untied the ribbon that was wrapped around the brown box, and then lifted the lid. Tissue paper covered whatever was inside. Sarah hesitated. She inhaled a exhaled slowly, catching the funny odor of an unfamiliar object.
Slowly she took off the first layer of tissue paper, finding a plain piece of paper with a few words. She scanned them slowly.
"Secret obsessions fill the heart and mind endlessly. Love brings the end of Eternity. The time has come, my friend, for your last dance. One more song and then it's the end."
Sarah's hand shook as she stared into the box. A dark substance was staining the rest of the tissue. She paled when she realized it was blood. With trembling hands she lifted the paper and found a heart; obviously not your valentine cut out. She pushed the box away and ran to throw up.
When she emerged ten minutes later, she shoved everything back into the box and took it out into the hall. She threw it down the garbage shoot she saw a maid use earlier, and then ran back to her room.
Even if she thought of a way to tell the girls, she'd have to wait until later when they got back from the movie they took Josh to. Just as she was starting to relax there was a knock at the door.
"Who is it?"
"It's me. AJ" He replied.
She opened the door quickly and threw herself into his arms. She relaxed almost instantly.
"Hi." AJ said finally.
"Hi yourself." Sarah replied. "How'd the interview go?"
"Watch it tonight." AJ shrugged.
Sarah smiled, and then led him into the room, closing and bolting the door behind them. She turned to see AJ watching her carefully. She just pulled him down onto the couch with her and snuggled into his embrace.
"Sarah, we need to talk." AJ said gently.
Sarah sat up and looked into his eyes. "It's about last night, isn't it?"
"Well, yea."
"AJ, listen. don't feel bad, ok? I wanted this to happen as much as you did, but I'm not sorry that you were my first." Sarah smiled lovingly. "AJ, I."
"Don't." AJ warned sternly, turning away from her.
Sarah blinked. "Don't? Don't what? AJ, I just wanted to tell you."
AJ let out a heavy sigh. His mind screamed at him not to say what he was about to say, but he did anyway. "Sarah, I can't do this anymore."
Sarah stared at him in shock. "What?"
AJ made the mistake of looking into her eyes. He saw the hurt there. her broken heart. "Sarah, I." He was at a loss for words. Him, the master of words, the sweet talker.. The idiot!
"You what?" Sarah said between clenched teeth. "You had your fun, now you're done? You just going to drop me like all your other girlfriends? Is that it?" AJ opened his mouth to protest, but he found he couldn't. "Now that you've taken my. virginity." Sarah struggled, "you don't wanna see me anymore? Was that all you wanted from me?"
AJ started shaking his head. "Sarah, you don't understand."
"No AJ, I don't," Sarah cried, "But I do know one thing. If you leave now, don't bother coming back! You'll miss me, AJ. and I know that for a fact because you've never lied to me and you're heart can't lie to me either." AJ was silent. "Get out."
"Sarah." AJ said softly, reaching for her.
"Just get out!" She screamed loudly.
AJ winced. Okay. he should get out. Slowly, he turned for the door and moved. His legs felt like stone, not willing to leave her, but she didn't want him. He couldn't blame her, now could he? He broke her heart and he was the biggest asshole in the world. He knew it, Sarah knew it, and by tomorrow, everyone else would know it too.
"Bye." AJ said quietly, not expecting an answer. He opened the door and left the room, shutting it behind him. He went down the hall to his room and went inside. Dropping onto the bed he stared at the ceiling, wondering why life was so damn confusing.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Don't wanna lose you now. baby. I know we can win this. don't wanna lose you now. forever again."
Sarah listened to the words that the guys sang, and wished they meant something to her. At one point, they had, but ever since AJ had told her it was over. She never would've guessed she could hurt this much.
"Sarah. you have to put on your microphone now." Claudia's voice broke through her thoughts and she looked up.
"C'mon suga', smile." Katie said hugging her cousin.
"I'll try." Sarah shrugged. She went to the sound technician and got her mic. While they adjusted it to her she saw AJ coming off stage with the rest of the guys.
On the plane to this city, she sat between Katie and Claudia, not even bothering to glance over at him.. No matter how much Katie wanted her to.
AJ saw Sarah and thought she looked beautiful. She was only wearing tear-a- ways and a tank top, but it didn't matter. She was too beautiful for words, and he wanted to tell her that. Unfortunately, she turned away and followed the rest of the girls as they went out to do their sound check. AJ looked away, knowing he was being an idiot, but not knowing what else to do.
"Hey AJ." Nick smiled as he sat beside AJ.
"Hey Nick." AJ said glumly.
Nick looked at AJ, seeing his obvious unhappiness. "What's wrong? You look like your dog died or something."
AJ looked at Nick. "No, you dumbass. I'm fine."
Nick shrugged. "Could've fooled me."
AJ shook his head. "Are you always this stupid or what?"
Nick looked insulted. "No need to get mean man. I was just worried bout ya. Ever since you broke up with Sarah you've been miserable."
"How did you know?"
Nick nodded towards the stage and smiled. "Katie," he simply said. They both slightly laughed as she waved and Lexi crashed into her.
AJ sighed. He knew Sarah would tell the girls. so why did it bother him that everyone knew what a jerk he was?
"Uncle AJ." Josh's little voice reached him and he smiled.
"Hey JJ, how are ya?"
"New toy?" Nick gestured to the mini basketball he held.
"It's a ball." Josh said matter-of-factly.
"Your dad get that for you?" AJ asked.
Josh shook his head. "No Uncle Brian did."
AJ nodded. "Cool. So you like basketball, huh?"
Josh nodded. "Uh huh. Uncle Brian says I'm better than you."
AJ looked over at Nick, who was trying not to laugh, then smiled down at Josh. "He said that, huh? Well you tell him that when you grow up, you'll be taller than him."
Nick burst out laughing as Josh looked at his two "uncles" with a weird look. AJ just smiled as he hugged Josh. That kid sure knew how to make someone feel better. Kevin was one hell of a lucky guy.
"Hey JJ, come with me. I'll show you how to shoot some good hoops." Nick said suddenly picking him up.
AJ watched them leave, not knowing why he was suddenly so sad. When he thought about it, he realized he would miss Josh when he was gone. This tour wouldn't last forever, and soon, Josh would be going home with Cassie and the girls.
Sarah's words echoed in his mind. "You're going to miss me AJ. I know you will."
AJ sighed deeply. Yeah. he would miss her. He already did.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sarah pushed open the door to her hotel room, feeling completely drained. She sighed as she closed the door behind her and dropped her bag to the floor. Today's show had taken all her energy. Reaching for the light switch, she felt a shiver go down her spine. That was odd.. The window was open.
Suddenly Sarah didn't want to be in her room all alone. She flipped the light switch, but nothing happened. Her mind raced. and she felt like screaming. Stay calm, she told herself, just open the door and get out.
She opened her mouth to scream anyway, reaching for the door at the same time, the felt the hand cover her mouth. She sucked in a breath, and then realized what a mistake that was, as she smelt the strong chemicals. Her mind whirled as she passed out.
The kidnapper was breathing hard, having had to climb five stories to get to this damned room. Hoisting the girl onto his shoulders, he quickly left the room, running down the hall before he was spotted. Making it to the stairs, he slipped through the door and down to the basement. His partner was waiting by the window to grab the girl.
His partner opened the window carefully, reaching in to grab the girl. Quickly, they got her out of the building and into the car. Then they were racing through the streets towards the boss's house.
When they arrived at the house, they unloaded the girl from the car and carried her inside. As they had been instructed, they left the girl in the basement of the house and found their money. Now Sarah's fate lies in the hands of "the boss".
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
AJ lifted his head as he heard a door slam. It was Sarah's door. AJ knew because his room was right next to her room. For some reason it bothered him
Sliding out of bed, he opened the door and looked at Sarah's. It was just a door, but something made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He moved towards it cautiously, and then touched the door knob. To his surprise, it opened at his touch.
Something was definitely wrong. He heard another door slam shut, and he turned to the noise. He guessed it was the door at the end of the hall that led to the stairs. Sarah wouldn't use the stairs. would she? He shook his head. nope not this late.
AJ walked into Sarah's room and tried to turn on the lights. When none went on, he felt a chill enter his body. He looked ahead of him and saw the balcony window open. Sarah wouldn't leave that open. When he moved towards it, he almost tripped over something. It was her bag.
'Damn, she was gone,' he thought.
Going back to the doorway, he spotted a white piece of paper resting on the table in the living room. He moved close, and then saw that it was actually a pile of papers.
AJ sat down slowly and picked up the first letter. Skimming it, cold fear entered his heart and he swore. He didn't bother reading the rest. He took them and ran down the hall to Kevin's room. He knocked until Kevin answered the door, looking quite a mess.
"I'm sorry man. I didn't mean to wake you." AJ said hurriedly as he pushed past Kevin. "But something's wrong.. I." He stopped short when he saw Cassie come out of the bedroom. "Cassie. I. you." He turned back to Kevin, who was smiling sheepishly.
"Hi AJ," Cassie said softly. She saw the fear in his eyes. "What's wrong?"
"I. It's Sarah."
Cassie immediately came forward. "What is it? What happened?"
Kevin came towards AJ as well. He showed them the notes he found, and then told them what he had seen and heard. Kevin reached for the phone and dialed 911.
"It's okay, Cass. Kevin can handle this." AJ said, though he wasn't sure.
Cassie nodded slowly, looking numb. AJ came closer and hugged her. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." Cassie said absently.
AJ sighed. "It is. I know it is."
"How can it be your fault?" Cassie wondered.
"I told her I didn't love her." AJ said sadly. " Or I.. just didn't say that I did. when I do."
Cassie looked at him with wise, but sad eyes. "That still doesn't mean it's your fault."
"But if anything happens to her. "AJ trailed off, knowing he didn't want to think about it. He just wanted Sarah back.
Cassie pulled back slightly, and looked into AJ's eyes. She saw the truth there. she always had. She had this uncanny way of knowing the truth, no matter how much people tried to hide it.
"It's nobody's fault Sarah's gone." Cassie told him gently. "But AJ, no matter what happens, you'll always have her. she loves you."
"She hates me." AJ said sadly.
Cassie shook her head. "No, she loves you. and she always will."
AJ felt tears fill his eyes and he blinked them away. He never cried. He just hoped Cassie was right, because as soon as Sarah was back, he wasn't letting her go.