SURVIVOR
Author: MeB
Email: lenoxfiles@hotmail.com
Spoiler: No major spoiling.
Summary: Don't you want to know what the others are up to since they have been voted off the island?
Disclaimer: All characters of Buffy tVS are the property of Joss. Survivor belongs to Jeff Probst.
Rating - PG-13
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SURVIVOR PARTY AT JEFF PROBST'S BEACH HOUSE
Riley took a drink from his beer and then he said, "You know, I heard that there's a rumor of a Survivor II for the Fan/Fic List."
"No way," Buffy said with a snort. "That would be ridiculous. How can you keep something like that going? I mean, I would get tired of it after awhile." She pouted. "Besides...they voted me off. Wh-what did I do to deserve that?"
"They voted you off because you're the Slayer."
Buffy glared at Dru. "Hey. Didn't I stake you after you got voted off?"
Dru smiled at her and shrugged innocently. "Jeffie said it was all just a part of the show. Besides...we all signed contracts before we came onto the show and that contract protected me from slayage."
"I could stake you here and now."
"You can't, darling little slayer. House rules are no fighting in Jeffies little happy home." She waved a finger at Buffy. "Naughty slayer with her naughty thoughts."
Buffy looked behind Dru and she saw Tara and Fred sitting on the couch and they were talking up a storm. Buffy blinked. Those two did seem to be a little too close for comfort. She found herself wondering what Willow would think about that.
She couldn't believe her eyes as she saw all of the other people attending. People she had known all her life. And people she had known who had either died by her hand or by the hand of her enemies.
She saw Principal Snyder talking with Mayor Wilkins. The Judge was laughing at something that Amy Madison had said. Harmony was talking about the hardships of dating with Jenny Calendar. The Master was discussing slaying tips to Kendra.
There were a lot of many other people in the room. Buffy had been explained that in Survivor, time was irrelevant. It meant nothing. Any one could appear in a Survivor, and that's what started a rumor about a second one.
Still, the whole concept was a bad idea to her. Besides, how could she ever support anything like a Survivor II when she got kicked off the island before Cordelia did. That was just downright depressing her. She wanted chocolate in the worst way.
She noticed Jonathan standing on the deck and decided to go out and join him. "What'cha doing out here, Jonathan?"
"Who's that guy out there on the beach?" Jonathan asked.
Buffy looked. She saw a guy sitting on the beach and he appeared to be crying. She frowned. "I-I don't know. Let's go see if he's okay."
Together, Buffy and Jonathan walked out to the guy on the beach. He had short cropped hair, and a beard, and he wore glasses. Buffy let out a sigh and she put her hands on her hips.
"You again," she said. "What the hell are you writing now? Oh, wait! Don't tell me! Buffy gets into a terrible jam and Willow comes along to save the day!"
Jonathan looked at Buffy. "You know this guy?"
"His name is Meb." She looked at the sobbing man on the beach. "All right, buddy. What's your problem?"
MeB handed her a slip of paper. On the paper was a list of the votes received on the list.
Buffy saw the results of the vote and then she looked at MeB. "You're kidding me, right? You're out here sobbing your eyes out because of this? Because you have to--"
"Sssshtop right there!!"
"Oh, God. Not you, too!"
The man walked up to them. He wore a blue jumpsuit. He had a cable on his left hip and a drill in a holster on his right hip. He spoke with a lisp.
He was standing on the beach and he had his eyes on Buffy. "Thatssh right, Sslayer. It'ss me. I'm back like a bad dream. Like a nassty pimple that won't go away."
"Who are you?" Jonathan asked.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "God! Don't ask him that."
The man stood up tall and straight. "My name iss...Tommy Bradford, and, oh, yeah, ssisster." He nodded his head knowingly. "Eight truly wass enough. But that'ss not the point, iss it?"
"Tommy Bradford?" Jonathan asked. "Who is Tommy Bradford?"
"Who iss Tommy Bradford?" The man looked at Jonathan as if he were a gnat. "Who am I? Why, I'm the Cable Guy, little man. And I have come here to prevent you people from giving away the votess on that piecce of paper." He pointed to what Buffy was holding onto. "Thiss Fan/Fic Lisst jusst doessn't quit with it's sspoilage rate, doess it?"
Buffy sighed. "Oh, please. If anyone on this list reads this crap now, they're going to know who's getting the boot." She pointed at MeB, who was still sobbing as if they weren't there. "I mean, look at him. He's blubbering like a baby, for God's sake. I mean...this guy has gotta be some kind of a loony bird or something! Now there are plenty of people on this list who knows that his favorite is and--"
"And you need to sshut your yapper, lady!!" Bradford pointed at her. "Every time you ssay ssomething, you give ssomething away! Let the man have hiss little wa-wa time, and then he'll get back to it! But you need to back off."
"I so need to kick your ass right about now."
Buffy attacked the Cable Guy.
Jonathan raced back toward the beach house. "Fight, everybody!! There's a fight out here!!"
Everyone came out to watch the fight. They gathered around and they even began to place bets.
"One hundred on the Cable Guy!" Willy shouted. "Place your bets!"
"Two hundred on my daughter!"
"Ooooh, B. Good hit." Grins. "That's exactly where I like to hit them."
"Luke, put three hundred down for the Slayer. After all, I can beat this Cable Guy...and we do know that she beat me."
"I was so bored...Not bored now." Vamp Willow turned and saw Tara. "Hey...you're kinda cute."
Tara blushes. She follows Vamp Willow into the house and they forget about the fight.
"It'ss a revolution!!" the Cable Guy shouts as he tackles Buffy onto the ground. "The dark forcces are colliding with the light, and the dark will be extinguisshed oncce and for--"
Buffy slammed him in the chest with an elbow. Then she spun around and slammed her fist into his face.
"Oh, you'll be sorry you did that, little girl." Suddenly, his eyes widen. He starts to grin as he touches his jaw. "My lisp!! It's gone!!" He smiles at Buffy. "You cured me!"
Buffy punched him again.
As the Cable Guy fell into the dirt, he said, "Oh, you really are a bitcch...aren't you?" He lost all consciousness.
Buffy dusted her hands off and then she went over to MeB. "Just do what you have to do." She looked at him sternly. "And I'm still waiting for you to write my story!"
MeB got up and he walked out into the sea.
_________________________
Six down...
Dru Riley Tara Fred Jonathan Buffy
The remaining...
Rikamuru Tribe Cordelia Willow Angel Wesley Anya
Skrandurak Tribe Spike Giles Xander
Author: MeB
Email: lenoxfiles@hotmail.com
Spoiler: No major spoiling.
Summary: Don't you want to know what the others are up to since they have been voted off the island?
Disclaimer: All characters of Buffy tVS are the property of Joss. Survivor belongs to Jeff Probst.
Rating - PG-13
xwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwwxwxwxwxwxwxw
SURVIVOR PARTY AT JEFF PROBST'S BEACH HOUSE
Riley took a drink from his beer and then he said, "You know, I heard that there's a rumor of a Survivor II for the Fan/Fic List."
"No way," Buffy said with a snort. "That would be ridiculous. How can you keep something like that going? I mean, I would get tired of it after awhile." She pouted. "Besides...they voted me off. Wh-what did I do to deserve that?"
"They voted you off because you're the Slayer."
Buffy glared at Dru. "Hey. Didn't I stake you after you got voted off?"
Dru smiled at her and shrugged innocently. "Jeffie said it was all just a part of the show. Besides...we all signed contracts before we came onto the show and that contract protected me from slayage."
"I could stake you here and now."
"You can't, darling little slayer. House rules are no fighting in Jeffies little happy home." She waved a finger at Buffy. "Naughty slayer with her naughty thoughts."
Buffy looked behind Dru and she saw Tara and Fred sitting on the couch and they were talking up a storm. Buffy blinked. Those two did seem to be a little too close for comfort. She found herself wondering what Willow would think about that.
She couldn't believe her eyes as she saw all of the other people attending. People she had known all her life. And people she had known who had either died by her hand or by the hand of her enemies.
She saw Principal Snyder talking with Mayor Wilkins. The Judge was laughing at something that Amy Madison had said. Harmony was talking about the hardships of dating with Jenny Calendar. The Master was discussing slaying tips to Kendra.
There were a lot of many other people in the room. Buffy had been explained that in Survivor, time was irrelevant. It meant nothing. Any one could appear in a Survivor, and that's what started a rumor about a second one.
Still, the whole concept was a bad idea to her. Besides, how could she ever support anything like a Survivor II when she got kicked off the island before Cordelia did. That was just downright depressing her. She wanted chocolate in the worst way.
She noticed Jonathan standing on the deck and decided to go out and join him. "What'cha doing out here, Jonathan?"
"Who's that guy out there on the beach?" Jonathan asked.
Buffy looked. She saw a guy sitting on the beach and he appeared to be crying. She frowned. "I-I don't know. Let's go see if he's okay."
Together, Buffy and Jonathan walked out to the guy on the beach. He had short cropped hair, and a beard, and he wore glasses. Buffy let out a sigh and she put her hands on her hips.
"You again," she said. "What the hell are you writing now? Oh, wait! Don't tell me! Buffy gets into a terrible jam and Willow comes along to save the day!"
Jonathan looked at Buffy. "You know this guy?"
"His name is Meb." She looked at the sobbing man on the beach. "All right, buddy. What's your problem?"
MeB handed her a slip of paper. On the paper was a list of the votes received on the list.
Buffy saw the results of the vote and then she looked at MeB. "You're kidding me, right? You're out here sobbing your eyes out because of this? Because you have to--"
"Sssshtop right there!!"
"Oh, God. Not you, too!"
The man walked up to them. He wore a blue jumpsuit. He had a cable on his left hip and a drill in a holster on his right hip. He spoke with a lisp.
He was standing on the beach and he had his eyes on Buffy. "Thatssh right, Sslayer. It'ss me. I'm back like a bad dream. Like a nassty pimple that won't go away."
"Who are you?" Jonathan asked.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "God! Don't ask him that."
The man stood up tall and straight. "My name iss...Tommy Bradford, and, oh, yeah, ssisster." He nodded his head knowingly. "Eight truly wass enough. But that'ss not the point, iss it?"
"Tommy Bradford?" Jonathan asked. "Who is Tommy Bradford?"
"Who iss Tommy Bradford?" The man looked at Jonathan as if he were a gnat. "Who am I? Why, I'm the Cable Guy, little man. And I have come here to prevent you people from giving away the votess on that piecce of paper." He pointed to what Buffy was holding onto. "Thiss Fan/Fic Lisst jusst doessn't quit with it's sspoilage rate, doess it?"
Buffy sighed. "Oh, please. If anyone on this list reads this crap now, they're going to know who's getting the boot." She pointed at MeB, who was still sobbing as if they weren't there. "I mean, look at him. He's blubbering like a baby, for God's sake. I mean...this guy has gotta be some kind of a loony bird or something! Now there are plenty of people on this list who knows that his favorite is and--"
"And you need to sshut your yapper, lady!!" Bradford pointed at her. "Every time you ssay ssomething, you give ssomething away! Let the man have hiss little wa-wa time, and then he'll get back to it! But you need to back off."
"I so need to kick your ass right about now."
Buffy attacked the Cable Guy.
Jonathan raced back toward the beach house. "Fight, everybody!! There's a fight out here!!"
Everyone came out to watch the fight. They gathered around and they even began to place bets.
"One hundred on the Cable Guy!" Willy shouted. "Place your bets!"
"Two hundred on my daughter!"
"Ooooh, B. Good hit." Grins. "That's exactly where I like to hit them."
"Luke, put three hundred down for the Slayer. After all, I can beat this Cable Guy...and we do know that she beat me."
"I was so bored...Not bored now." Vamp Willow turned and saw Tara. "Hey...you're kinda cute."
Tara blushes. She follows Vamp Willow into the house and they forget about the fight.
"It'ss a revolution!!" the Cable Guy shouts as he tackles Buffy onto the ground. "The dark forcces are colliding with the light, and the dark will be extinguisshed oncce and for--"
Buffy slammed him in the chest with an elbow. Then she spun around and slammed her fist into his face.
"Oh, you'll be sorry you did that, little girl." Suddenly, his eyes widen. He starts to grin as he touches his jaw. "My lisp!! It's gone!!" He smiles at Buffy. "You cured me!"
Buffy punched him again.
As the Cable Guy fell into the dirt, he said, "Oh, you really are a bitcch...aren't you?" He lost all consciousness.
Buffy dusted her hands off and then she went over to MeB. "Just do what you have to do." She looked at him sternly. "And I'm still waiting for you to write my story!"
MeB got up and he walked out into the sea.
_________________________
Six down...
Dru Riley Tara Fred Jonathan Buffy
The remaining...
Rikamuru Tribe Cordelia Willow Angel Wesley Anya
Skrandurak Tribe Spike Giles Xander