"It's Mark is upon us forever" Part 9/12
Author's comments: Okay I found this part extremely hard to write, since I
have gotten atattched to me characters and don't want to hurt them in any
way shape or form. But I did what I had to do. PLEASE REVIEW! I NEED
FEEDBACK TO KEEP MY WRITING MUSE ALIVE!
The Doctor quickly made his way through the corridor, searching for the right door. After thinking and pacing in his quarters for more than half the night with Imirika sound asleep in the other room, he had come to no closer of a decision than when he was first confronted. He needed a second opinion. He just couldn't think properly on his own.
Even though he had witnessed, diagnosed, and treated anxiety attacks in many of his patients, especially in Crewman William Telfer, he was in no way prepared for the waves of anxiety that rolled through his program. He was even convinced that he was having problems breathing. A ridiculous idea he knew but he was gasping for breath all the same.
Throughout the entire evening two thoughts were stuck in a feedback loop. Choose Imirika, you love her. Choose Seven, you love her. The two were constantly arguing back and forth. Split personality, he thought in between the two. He kicked himself mentally. It seemed that instead of coming to a conclusion, he would diagnose himself. What a lousy time for my medical subroutines to kick in. This isn't helping! He stopped walking, letting the anxiety flicker through his matrix. He picked up his pace again, finding the door that he was looking for.
He pressed the button and fidgeted with his fingers while he listened to the cry of a toddler start up. It was followed by a quiet curse and the sound of two people getting out of bed. He was angry with himself that he was interrupting their sleep, but he didn't know what else to do. The crying stopped as the door flew open. He came face to face with a very rumpled and groggy Tom Paris.
"Doc, what the heck are you doing here?" Tom rubbed his eyes sleepily. "It's 0200 hours and I just got off my shift." He paused for a second to take in the Doctor's distressed condition.
"I'm... I'm sorry if I woke you up, but..." The Doctor started to mumble.
Tom interrupted him and pushed him through the door. "That's okay. Just come in." He picked up a few things off the ground and pushed a few scattered toys off the couch. "Um, sit down."
The Doctor settled himself as B'Elanna came through the second bedroom door quieting a whimpering Miral in her arms. She looked up to see the fidgeting EMH on the sofa. "What's going on?" She sat down on the rocker that was across the room, settling Miral on her lap.
Tom scratched his head. "I don't know, I have figured it out yet." He stood next to B'Elanna and crossed his arms. "Care to tell us what's up?"
He stared at the three for a moment, quite unsure how to begin. This is a mistake, I shouldn't have bothered them so late at night, he thought as he opened his mouth to say something. "I..wan....o...alk...." His sentence was interrupted as the anxiety once again disrupted his matrix.
B'Elanna, a little more alert now, sat up. "What was that?" She watched as the Doctor's program flickered in and out. "Here", she told Tom and handed Miral to him, who had decided that she had had enough sleep for the night and was squirming to get out of their grasp. B'Elanna sat down at the nearest computer console and accessed the EMH matrix. She squinted as she read the information passing over the screen. "Hmmm..."
"What?" said Tom across the room, trying to keep Miral quiet.
"Doctor your emotional subroutines are overloading." she spun around in her chair and faced him. "Calm down."
The Doctor stopped flickering and gave her a pathetic look. "I'm trying."
She looked back at the screen. "It doesn't look that way. You had better calm down or I'm going to have to deactivate you to prevent your entire matrix from overloading."
The Doctor, at hearing that, closed his eyes and forced himself to think clearly. He knew that this was the worst possible time to be deactivated. Not when he had to come up with an answer. He opened his eyes again and gazed straight ahead, averting his eyes from anything that would cause him to lose his composure. "Okay."
B'Elanna glanced once more at the computer before she switched it off and rejoined her husband, taking Miral off his hands. With his hands free, Tom crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. "I think you should tell us what's bothering you, Doc."
The Doctor shifted his position and began nervously, desperately trying to control his emotions. "Alright." He searched for a way to begin. Finding no good way to set up the situation. He just gave it to them point blank. "Seven came to see me this afternoon." He gulped. "She.um.wants to.", he trailed off.
Tom and B'Elanna sat there, awaiting the finish of the sentence. After a moment, it seemed apparent that he wasn't going to finish the sentence without a prompt. Tom shot a quick glance at B'Elanna before he spoke up. "Wants to what? Spit it out."
The Doctor started speaking again. "She wants to...get together with me."
"That's funny," said B'Elanna. "I wasn't aware that Seven broke up with Chakotay." Unable to contain the fussy child in her arms, she set Miral on the floor, who happily toddled off to play with an odd object on the floor.
"Well you're not the only one." The Doctor deadpanned, his first sign of sarcasm all night. He rested his fists on his knees. "She confronted me in Sickbay and demanded that I make a choice between her.and Imirika." He grimaced when he finished, remembering how harshly Seven spoke of her.
Tom let out a low whistle. "Man, that is some situation." He pushed his hand through his tangled blond hair. "But it shouldn't take you too long to decide, should it? You have gotten over Seven, right?" He didn't get a response. The Doctor was avoiding his gaze, looking guiltily down at his shoe. Tom couldn't believe it. He raised his voice slightly. "Right?"
No response from the Doctor.
Tom exploded. "You can't possibly still be in love with her, Doc! I mean, you told me yourself that you were in love with Imirika."
The Doctor continued to evade Tom's angry stare. He came here for advice, not to be lectured. "I do, but."
It was B'Elanna's turn to talk. "But, what? This isn't a good time to be making second guesses, Doctor. You can't just go changing your mind like that."
"I know!" yelled the Doctor, having lost his temper. He finally raised his head, his eyes full of frustration. "I just can't help it, okay? It's not like I expected this to be this way." He stood up and started to pace, like he had in his own quarters just an hour ago. "I thought I didn't love her anymore. And I shouldn't, but.when she told me that she loved me. I couldn't help but stir up those old emotions. I don't.I don't know what to do." He flung his hands up in the air and let them drop with a slap against his legs. "I don't want to feel this way. I love Imirika! I mean, she has loved me unconditionally since the first day I met her. And she makes me feel, normal. I don't want to hurt her."
The couple had listened quietly while he spilled his soul out to them, watching as he walked back and forth through their living room. When he finally finished, they weren't quite sure what to say. Neither of them had faced a problem in their love life quite like this before. So they stayed silent, thinking what to say. But their train of thought was broken when Tom glanced over and saw Miral reaching for his uniform messily laid across a chair in the corner. She immediately fingered the collar. "Miral, no!" he shouted, swiftly scooping her up, trying to get his uniform out of her tiny grasp. When he finally did, he counted the pips. Which wasn't that hard. There was only one. "Where did you put Daddy's pips?" He said, checking her hands and even sticking his fingers inside her mouth.
She grinned wildly at him. "Dunno"
"That is starting to become her favorite word." Tom rolled her eyes and set her down to search the floor. He found one under the chair and one under the uniform where it dropped. "There they are." He picked them up and carefully fastened them back onto his collar. Miral watched with curiosity. "See here?" He pointed the pips out to her. "Don't touch these. You almost demoted Daddy."
Miral giggled as she repeated him. "D'mote Daddy!" She ran off and soon became interested with a stuffed targ.
Tom sighed and set his uniform on a high shelf. Then he wandered over to seat himself next to the Doctor. "I'm sorry about that."
Something similar to a smirk fleeted across the Doctor's face. "That's okay." He watched his god-daughter play happily with herself on the floor for a few moments, and then looked up as Tom laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Doc," Tom said, unsure of how to put delicately what he was about to say. "I am, touched, that you came to me and B'Elanna for help. And it is apparent that you are obviously in a jam." He swallowed a discomforting lump in his throat and continued. "But..."
The Doc repeated him, knowing where this was leading. "But."
"But. I really can't help you with this. This is your relationship we are talking about, not mine. You need to make your own decisions." The Doctor sighed quite loudly, clearly upset with what Tom was saying, but he didn't interrupt him. "The only thing I can tell you is, choose the one who you think you love the most. Someone you see sharing your future with you. However you interpret that, that's for you to figure out."
The Doctor was quiet, staring at his shoes, and fiddling with his fingers, for close to three minutes. He then cleared his throat and looked over at Tom, who was patiently waiting for his answer. "You know." he started, but changed his mind and sighed. "Thanks."
Happy with the EMH's answer, Tom stood up and showed him to the door. "No problem, Doc" He patted him on the back. "We all want what is best for you."
The Doctor smiled. "That's comforting to know."
He was about to walk out when B'Elanna, who had been sitting quietly listening the entire time, piped up. "Hey Doc," she turned around in her chair to stare at him. "Don't do anything to screw yourself over, alright?" She looked worried. "You have a knack for doing that, you know."
"Yes" the Doctor nodded his head, embarrassed. "So I've noticed." He headed out the door. "Goodnight, you three." He pushed the button and the door slid shut behind him.
Tom sighed, scratching his head and making his way over to Miral. He scooped her up. "Okay, you little troublemaker. I think it is about time that we go back to sleep, hmm?" He fingered her little nose and she giggled. "You're not very sleepy are you?"
She smiled and clapped her hands. "Bad Doca!"
B'Elanna snorted at her child's innocent comment as she gathered up her robe to stand up. "That's about right, Miral." Then to Tom, she muttered. "I have a very bad feeling about this."
***
She wiped her brow and stood back to take in the whole scene, thinking about her next move. She reached forward and with a wet hand, smoothed back some clay on the unfinished bust. She wasn't quite sure who it was yet, but it was starting to take on the shape of a man. Yes, a man, the line of the jaw was too square to be a woman's.
She sighed and wiped off her hands on the towel that hung off her waist. She was going to have to think about this. She wasn't in the mood to do any more today. She called over her shoulder, "What do you think so far?"
From around a darkened corner came an aged man with long white hair. He was wearing a small lace cap and a feather quill was positioned between his thumb and forefinger, like he had just come from writing something. He took a look at her progress and rubbed his chin with his free hand. "Hmm." He walked around the shaped block of clay. "Molto piacevole, Belle. Yes, very good. He, it's a he, right? He looks very familiar. Yes, an artist who visited me. An atteggiamento, attitude, he has, no?"
She laughed lightly, "I guess you're right, Maestro, he does look a lot like him. But," she knelt down in front of it, "It's missing something." She stuck her thumb in the clay and made a dimple in the chin, "Yes! There we go. Now it looks just like him."
DaVinci laughed. "Yes, I remember him now!" His belly shook with the laughter.
All of a sudden the back wall disintegrated to show a Starfleet holodeck door. It opened with it's authentic sound and in stepped the Doctor, taking in the Tuscan surroundings, noticing the half-formed bust of himself in the center of the room.
"Ah, there you are, signore! We were just talking about you! This sta."
"Computer, discontinue DaVinci hologram" The Doctor said curtly. DaVinci stopped in mid-sentence and shimmered out of existence.
She frowned. "Why did you do that? That was rude."
He sighed. "Please, it's not like he's going to remember by the time he is reactivated." He was obviously in a bad mood.
She instantly noticed. "What's wrong? Something seems to be bothering you." She sat down on a stool nearby and worked on wiping off the rest of the clay stuck to her small hands.
The Doctor sat and watched her for a few minutes, suddenly losing his cold composure. His face softened. He was getting nervous all over again, questioning his decision. Are you making the right choice? Something doesn't feel right. He shook the thought out of his mind and regained his self-control. "I need to talk to you about something."
She picked up on his urgency and sat up straighter, becoming concerned. "What's wrong?" She walked over to him and set a hand on his shoulder for comfort, but quickly took it away when he winced at their contact. "What's the matter?"
"It's about us." He said quietly.
"Us?" She searched his face, eyes full of questions. "What about us? We're fine, right?" He looked away, not wanting to answer that question. This only filled her with more apprehension. She took his hand and squeezed it, becoming frantic. "Right?" she asked with her voice strained.
The Doctor pulled away from her. He started pacing the floor, thinking up some elaborate lie to tell her. He couldn't very well tell her the truth; he knew that it would hurt her deeply. Like it wasn't going to hurt enough without the truth. He began weaving his tale. "I feel like I am being.smothered." He began weaving his tale. "I feel like I am being.smothered." Yes, that will do nicely. He held his hands up to his chest to emphasize. "I know you mean well, but."
Her eyes got really wide, already knowing where this was going. "No." It came out as a whimper.
Ignoring her pleas to keep himself in composure, he went on. "You are constantly inquiring about my private life and matters, and.." He paused, not knowing what else to say. ".. You're, constantly changing my plans." He knew this wasn't very convincing, but he hoped to death that she believed him. "I feel that this has become a one-person relationship. That you are calling all the shots. I feel like I'm being controlled." He stopped pacing, looking over to see the effects of his ranting.
It was apparent that she was more naive that he thought she was. Imirika had collapsed back onto the stool. Her hand was trembling as it rested on her chest. Gasping, she was choking back streams of tears. She tried to wipe her eyes as she mumbled out a reply. "But you were happy this morning. I had no idea that I was hurting you. You should have said something." She buried face in her hands. She couldn't figure out why he was suddenly backing out of this relationship. "I'm so sorry if I did anything." She collapsed into sobs.
The Doctor decided that it was now time to soften up and end this relationship quietly. He knelt beside her. "No, no, it's not you. It's me. I just can't handle such an involved relationship. I'm not ready." In actuality, I am ready for a relationship, he thought grimly, ready to have a relationship with someone else. He felt he was choking on his own bitter lie.
Imirika shook her head at this. She lifted up a corner of her apron to dry off her face. "Yes, but."
"Listen to me." He lifted up her chin with an index finger. Her usually bright purple eyes were dim and lined with red. She bit down on her lower lip to keep it from quivering. "I'm quite sure some lucky man out there would be glad to have a sensitive, caring, creative." Don't let your emotions get in the way! His mind yelled. Just finish this and get it over with! ".And, efficient woman like you." He finished harshly.
She caught the end of his sentence and looked at him curiously. Efficient? Now that's a word that sounds familiar. She logged that in her memory, having a feeling it was a clue to what was going on here. She had to find out, she couldn't just let him get away from her that easily. She threw her arms around his neck. "I don't want some lucky man! I want you!" She leaned against him, sighing raggedly. "I thought that we loved each other."
He frowned, remembering all the emotions of the previous night. He was about to push her away from him, but thought that it was better just to leave her the way she was, arms thrown around him with white fists clamped onto his uniform jacket. He shifted his position under her weight. "We.did." Her felt her flinch and loosen her grip. "But this just isn't working out. I'm sorry."
She finally let go and sunk to the floor of Leonardo DaVinci's studio, with a sorrowful expression on her face. "I'm so sorry, Imirika." For the first time since they started their conversation, he had a true look of regret.
She leaned forward and looked him in the eye. "I guess this is goodbye." She whispered. They both pushed themselves up to standing position, and stared at each other, silent for what seemed like hours. One trying to figure out what had gone wrong in their relationship, the other wondering if he had made a mistake. Finally one of them took action. Imirika came up to him, tilting her head to kiss the Doctor on the cheek. But her lips met air as he step backwards to escape her.
He hesitated for a moment, then quietly said "Goodbye, Imirika." And with that he left the holodeck, noticing as the doors started to close that Imirika had collapsed into a fit of loud sobs on the studio floor. But he kept walking, and he didn't look behind him.
** To be continued.
The Doctor quickly made his way through the corridor, searching for the right door. After thinking and pacing in his quarters for more than half the night with Imirika sound asleep in the other room, he had come to no closer of a decision than when he was first confronted. He needed a second opinion. He just couldn't think properly on his own.
Even though he had witnessed, diagnosed, and treated anxiety attacks in many of his patients, especially in Crewman William Telfer, he was in no way prepared for the waves of anxiety that rolled through his program. He was even convinced that he was having problems breathing. A ridiculous idea he knew but he was gasping for breath all the same.
Throughout the entire evening two thoughts were stuck in a feedback loop. Choose Imirika, you love her. Choose Seven, you love her. The two were constantly arguing back and forth. Split personality, he thought in between the two. He kicked himself mentally. It seemed that instead of coming to a conclusion, he would diagnose himself. What a lousy time for my medical subroutines to kick in. This isn't helping! He stopped walking, letting the anxiety flicker through his matrix. He picked up his pace again, finding the door that he was looking for.
He pressed the button and fidgeted with his fingers while he listened to the cry of a toddler start up. It was followed by a quiet curse and the sound of two people getting out of bed. He was angry with himself that he was interrupting their sleep, but he didn't know what else to do. The crying stopped as the door flew open. He came face to face with a very rumpled and groggy Tom Paris.
"Doc, what the heck are you doing here?" Tom rubbed his eyes sleepily. "It's 0200 hours and I just got off my shift." He paused for a second to take in the Doctor's distressed condition.
"I'm... I'm sorry if I woke you up, but..." The Doctor started to mumble.
Tom interrupted him and pushed him through the door. "That's okay. Just come in." He picked up a few things off the ground and pushed a few scattered toys off the couch. "Um, sit down."
The Doctor settled himself as B'Elanna came through the second bedroom door quieting a whimpering Miral in her arms. She looked up to see the fidgeting EMH on the sofa. "What's going on?" She sat down on the rocker that was across the room, settling Miral on her lap.
Tom scratched his head. "I don't know, I have figured it out yet." He stood next to B'Elanna and crossed his arms. "Care to tell us what's up?"
He stared at the three for a moment, quite unsure how to begin. This is a mistake, I shouldn't have bothered them so late at night, he thought as he opened his mouth to say something. "I..wan....o...alk...." His sentence was interrupted as the anxiety once again disrupted his matrix.
B'Elanna, a little more alert now, sat up. "What was that?" She watched as the Doctor's program flickered in and out. "Here", she told Tom and handed Miral to him, who had decided that she had had enough sleep for the night and was squirming to get out of their grasp. B'Elanna sat down at the nearest computer console and accessed the EMH matrix. She squinted as she read the information passing over the screen. "Hmmm..."
"What?" said Tom across the room, trying to keep Miral quiet.
"Doctor your emotional subroutines are overloading." she spun around in her chair and faced him. "Calm down."
The Doctor stopped flickering and gave her a pathetic look. "I'm trying."
She looked back at the screen. "It doesn't look that way. You had better calm down or I'm going to have to deactivate you to prevent your entire matrix from overloading."
The Doctor, at hearing that, closed his eyes and forced himself to think clearly. He knew that this was the worst possible time to be deactivated. Not when he had to come up with an answer. He opened his eyes again and gazed straight ahead, averting his eyes from anything that would cause him to lose his composure. "Okay."
B'Elanna glanced once more at the computer before she switched it off and rejoined her husband, taking Miral off his hands. With his hands free, Tom crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. "I think you should tell us what's bothering you, Doc."
The Doctor shifted his position and began nervously, desperately trying to control his emotions. "Alright." He searched for a way to begin. Finding no good way to set up the situation. He just gave it to them point blank. "Seven came to see me this afternoon." He gulped. "She.um.wants to.", he trailed off.
Tom and B'Elanna sat there, awaiting the finish of the sentence. After a moment, it seemed apparent that he wasn't going to finish the sentence without a prompt. Tom shot a quick glance at B'Elanna before he spoke up. "Wants to what? Spit it out."
The Doctor started speaking again. "She wants to...get together with me."
"That's funny," said B'Elanna. "I wasn't aware that Seven broke up with Chakotay." Unable to contain the fussy child in her arms, she set Miral on the floor, who happily toddled off to play with an odd object on the floor.
"Well you're not the only one." The Doctor deadpanned, his first sign of sarcasm all night. He rested his fists on his knees. "She confronted me in Sickbay and demanded that I make a choice between her.and Imirika." He grimaced when he finished, remembering how harshly Seven spoke of her.
Tom let out a low whistle. "Man, that is some situation." He pushed his hand through his tangled blond hair. "But it shouldn't take you too long to decide, should it? You have gotten over Seven, right?" He didn't get a response. The Doctor was avoiding his gaze, looking guiltily down at his shoe. Tom couldn't believe it. He raised his voice slightly. "Right?"
No response from the Doctor.
Tom exploded. "You can't possibly still be in love with her, Doc! I mean, you told me yourself that you were in love with Imirika."
The Doctor continued to evade Tom's angry stare. He came here for advice, not to be lectured. "I do, but."
It was B'Elanna's turn to talk. "But, what? This isn't a good time to be making second guesses, Doctor. You can't just go changing your mind like that."
"I know!" yelled the Doctor, having lost his temper. He finally raised his head, his eyes full of frustration. "I just can't help it, okay? It's not like I expected this to be this way." He stood up and started to pace, like he had in his own quarters just an hour ago. "I thought I didn't love her anymore. And I shouldn't, but.when she told me that she loved me. I couldn't help but stir up those old emotions. I don't.I don't know what to do." He flung his hands up in the air and let them drop with a slap against his legs. "I don't want to feel this way. I love Imirika! I mean, she has loved me unconditionally since the first day I met her. And she makes me feel, normal. I don't want to hurt her."
The couple had listened quietly while he spilled his soul out to them, watching as he walked back and forth through their living room. When he finally finished, they weren't quite sure what to say. Neither of them had faced a problem in their love life quite like this before. So they stayed silent, thinking what to say. But their train of thought was broken when Tom glanced over and saw Miral reaching for his uniform messily laid across a chair in the corner. She immediately fingered the collar. "Miral, no!" he shouted, swiftly scooping her up, trying to get his uniform out of her tiny grasp. When he finally did, he counted the pips. Which wasn't that hard. There was only one. "Where did you put Daddy's pips?" He said, checking her hands and even sticking his fingers inside her mouth.
She grinned wildly at him. "Dunno"
"That is starting to become her favorite word." Tom rolled her eyes and set her down to search the floor. He found one under the chair and one under the uniform where it dropped. "There they are." He picked them up and carefully fastened them back onto his collar. Miral watched with curiosity. "See here?" He pointed the pips out to her. "Don't touch these. You almost demoted Daddy."
Miral giggled as she repeated him. "D'mote Daddy!" She ran off and soon became interested with a stuffed targ.
Tom sighed and set his uniform on a high shelf. Then he wandered over to seat himself next to the Doctor. "I'm sorry about that."
Something similar to a smirk fleeted across the Doctor's face. "That's okay." He watched his god-daughter play happily with herself on the floor for a few moments, and then looked up as Tom laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Doc," Tom said, unsure of how to put delicately what he was about to say. "I am, touched, that you came to me and B'Elanna for help. And it is apparent that you are obviously in a jam." He swallowed a discomforting lump in his throat and continued. "But..."
The Doc repeated him, knowing where this was leading. "But."
"But. I really can't help you with this. This is your relationship we are talking about, not mine. You need to make your own decisions." The Doctor sighed quite loudly, clearly upset with what Tom was saying, but he didn't interrupt him. "The only thing I can tell you is, choose the one who you think you love the most. Someone you see sharing your future with you. However you interpret that, that's for you to figure out."
The Doctor was quiet, staring at his shoes, and fiddling with his fingers, for close to three minutes. He then cleared his throat and looked over at Tom, who was patiently waiting for his answer. "You know." he started, but changed his mind and sighed. "Thanks."
Happy with the EMH's answer, Tom stood up and showed him to the door. "No problem, Doc" He patted him on the back. "We all want what is best for you."
The Doctor smiled. "That's comforting to know."
He was about to walk out when B'Elanna, who had been sitting quietly listening the entire time, piped up. "Hey Doc," she turned around in her chair to stare at him. "Don't do anything to screw yourself over, alright?" She looked worried. "You have a knack for doing that, you know."
"Yes" the Doctor nodded his head, embarrassed. "So I've noticed." He headed out the door. "Goodnight, you three." He pushed the button and the door slid shut behind him.
Tom sighed, scratching his head and making his way over to Miral. He scooped her up. "Okay, you little troublemaker. I think it is about time that we go back to sleep, hmm?" He fingered her little nose and she giggled. "You're not very sleepy are you?"
She smiled and clapped her hands. "Bad Doca!"
B'Elanna snorted at her child's innocent comment as she gathered up her robe to stand up. "That's about right, Miral." Then to Tom, she muttered. "I have a very bad feeling about this."
***
She wiped her brow and stood back to take in the whole scene, thinking about her next move. She reached forward and with a wet hand, smoothed back some clay on the unfinished bust. She wasn't quite sure who it was yet, but it was starting to take on the shape of a man. Yes, a man, the line of the jaw was too square to be a woman's.
She sighed and wiped off her hands on the towel that hung off her waist. She was going to have to think about this. She wasn't in the mood to do any more today. She called over her shoulder, "What do you think so far?"
From around a darkened corner came an aged man with long white hair. He was wearing a small lace cap and a feather quill was positioned between his thumb and forefinger, like he had just come from writing something. He took a look at her progress and rubbed his chin with his free hand. "Hmm." He walked around the shaped block of clay. "Molto piacevole, Belle. Yes, very good. He, it's a he, right? He looks very familiar. Yes, an artist who visited me. An atteggiamento, attitude, he has, no?"
She laughed lightly, "I guess you're right, Maestro, he does look a lot like him. But," she knelt down in front of it, "It's missing something." She stuck her thumb in the clay and made a dimple in the chin, "Yes! There we go. Now it looks just like him."
DaVinci laughed. "Yes, I remember him now!" His belly shook with the laughter.
All of a sudden the back wall disintegrated to show a Starfleet holodeck door. It opened with it's authentic sound and in stepped the Doctor, taking in the Tuscan surroundings, noticing the half-formed bust of himself in the center of the room.
"Ah, there you are, signore! We were just talking about you! This sta."
"Computer, discontinue DaVinci hologram" The Doctor said curtly. DaVinci stopped in mid-sentence and shimmered out of existence.
She frowned. "Why did you do that? That was rude."
He sighed. "Please, it's not like he's going to remember by the time he is reactivated." He was obviously in a bad mood.
She instantly noticed. "What's wrong? Something seems to be bothering you." She sat down on a stool nearby and worked on wiping off the rest of the clay stuck to her small hands.
The Doctor sat and watched her for a few minutes, suddenly losing his cold composure. His face softened. He was getting nervous all over again, questioning his decision. Are you making the right choice? Something doesn't feel right. He shook the thought out of his mind and regained his self-control. "I need to talk to you about something."
She picked up on his urgency and sat up straighter, becoming concerned. "What's wrong?" She walked over to him and set a hand on his shoulder for comfort, but quickly took it away when he winced at their contact. "What's the matter?"
"It's about us." He said quietly.
"Us?" She searched his face, eyes full of questions. "What about us? We're fine, right?" He looked away, not wanting to answer that question. This only filled her with more apprehension. She took his hand and squeezed it, becoming frantic. "Right?" she asked with her voice strained.
The Doctor pulled away from her. He started pacing the floor, thinking up some elaborate lie to tell her. He couldn't very well tell her the truth; he knew that it would hurt her deeply. Like it wasn't going to hurt enough without the truth. He began weaving his tale. "I feel like I am being.smothered." He began weaving his tale. "I feel like I am being.smothered." Yes, that will do nicely. He held his hands up to his chest to emphasize. "I know you mean well, but."
Her eyes got really wide, already knowing where this was going. "No." It came out as a whimper.
Ignoring her pleas to keep himself in composure, he went on. "You are constantly inquiring about my private life and matters, and.." He paused, not knowing what else to say. ".. You're, constantly changing my plans." He knew this wasn't very convincing, but he hoped to death that she believed him. "I feel that this has become a one-person relationship. That you are calling all the shots. I feel like I'm being controlled." He stopped pacing, looking over to see the effects of his ranting.
It was apparent that she was more naive that he thought she was. Imirika had collapsed back onto the stool. Her hand was trembling as it rested on her chest. Gasping, she was choking back streams of tears. She tried to wipe her eyes as she mumbled out a reply. "But you were happy this morning. I had no idea that I was hurting you. You should have said something." She buried face in her hands. She couldn't figure out why he was suddenly backing out of this relationship. "I'm so sorry if I did anything." She collapsed into sobs.
The Doctor decided that it was now time to soften up and end this relationship quietly. He knelt beside her. "No, no, it's not you. It's me. I just can't handle such an involved relationship. I'm not ready." In actuality, I am ready for a relationship, he thought grimly, ready to have a relationship with someone else. He felt he was choking on his own bitter lie.
Imirika shook her head at this. She lifted up a corner of her apron to dry off her face. "Yes, but."
"Listen to me." He lifted up her chin with an index finger. Her usually bright purple eyes were dim and lined with red. She bit down on her lower lip to keep it from quivering. "I'm quite sure some lucky man out there would be glad to have a sensitive, caring, creative." Don't let your emotions get in the way! His mind yelled. Just finish this and get it over with! ".And, efficient woman like you." He finished harshly.
She caught the end of his sentence and looked at him curiously. Efficient? Now that's a word that sounds familiar. She logged that in her memory, having a feeling it was a clue to what was going on here. She had to find out, she couldn't just let him get away from her that easily. She threw her arms around his neck. "I don't want some lucky man! I want you!" She leaned against him, sighing raggedly. "I thought that we loved each other."
He frowned, remembering all the emotions of the previous night. He was about to push her away from him, but thought that it was better just to leave her the way she was, arms thrown around him with white fists clamped onto his uniform jacket. He shifted his position under her weight. "We.did." Her felt her flinch and loosen her grip. "But this just isn't working out. I'm sorry."
She finally let go and sunk to the floor of Leonardo DaVinci's studio, with a sorrowful expression on her face. "I'm so sorry, Imirika." For the first time since they started their conversation, he had a true look of regret.
She leaned forward and looked him in the eye. "I guess this is goodbye." She whispered. They both pushed themselves up to standing position, and stared at each other, silent for what seemed like hours. One trying to figure out what had gone wrong in their relationship, the other wondering if he had made a mistake. Finally one of them took action. Imirika came up to him, tilting her head to kiss the Doctor on the cheek. But her lips met air as he step backwards to escape her.
He hesitated for a moment, then quietly said "Goodbye, Imirika." And with that he left the holodeck, noticing as the doors started to close that Imirika had collapsed into a fit of loud sobs on the studio floor. But he kept walking, and he didn't look behind him.
** To be continued.