Take Me Out To The Ballgame!
Author Chick's Notes: I blame one entity and one entity alone! ESPN's fall classic series, about the states most favourite pastime…BASEBALL! ^^
Take Me Out To The Ballgame!
Saturday afternoon and they were bored. No one remembers who came up with the idea, but suddenly a game of baseball sounded good, a little to good in some people's minds. Teams were decided and to tell the two apart, they went with the 'shirts/no shirts' option. Not that a few people minded that either…namely the girls. Of the women, only Cover Girl and Scarlet had opted to join the game. The rest of the women were more then content to watch while they worked on their tans. It should have been a sign when they all showed up at the diamond, that things were about to go downhill real fast.
Tunnel Rat got a load of Doc and was not happy. "Boo! Hiss! Go home you suck!" A few of Tunnel Rat's fellow New Yorker's felt the same way.
"I see the shit's already started." Lady Jaye stated as she tossed a towel over her chair.
"Oh yeah and they haven't even warmed up yet." Jinx piped up. "Got the signs?" She added. Lady Jaye showed the signs the women had made in just such an event of an impromptu baseball game. Both women smirked as they kicked back to watch the game.
Dailtone and Breaker had set up a PA system to call the game. They had decided when picking teams, that the shirts could wear the jersey's of their favourite teams. That was what had gotten Tunnel Rat riled up in the first place. "Uh Doc?" Breaker called out over the PA. "Lifeline said he's not putting you back together if things get out of hand, until AFTER the dust has settled!"
Doc called out to his medic, calling him a coward. Lifeline replied that it was more along the lines of common sense. Seeing the number of Yankee fans in the stands and in the game, Doc was taking a huge risk wearing his Red Sox jersey.
For obvious reasons, one of the medical personal was on stand-by duty. Lifeline had lost the draw in the Infirmary, so he could only sit back and watch his teammates pound the hell out of each other. Seeing as how they played, it was probably for the better the medic thought as he pulled the visor to his Mariners cap a little lower. After all, hockey season was just around the corner and Lifeline couldn't wait for the pond to freeze before racking up more team records.
They had decided that the pitchers for each team would also be the captains. It would make things a little easier at any rate for any important decisions, like who was going to call the coin toss. Law had been shanghaied into the umpire position, so he went to the mound and met with the elected captains. "Okay amigos, age before eh whatever." He joked as he tossed a dollar coin into the air. Mainframe called heads and won the toss. Dusty raised an eyebrow and took his position on the mound where he would be pitching for the 'no shirts' team. Mainframe had elected for his team to bat first.
Everything settled, Law made his way over to Dailtone and Breaker to make his announcements. "K people listen up eh? I hear one 'Kill the ump!' remark, the offending person/persons gets to spend ten hours playing dog lure, got it?" Order was lying under the announcing table and growled for effect. "Secondly, if I say it's out, it's out! If I say it's safe it's safe! Not even God can challenge my rulings…after all you don't call me Law for nothing, amigos." He grinned before stepping behind the plate to begin officiating. "PLAY BALL!"
Dusty eyed up the first victim. The first time he'd ever pitched a ball at her, he went soft on her. Cover Girl made him regret the decision when she blasted it out of the field. Many games had passed and Dusty had kept that lesson firmly in mind. The tanker was a lefty and he had a whole arsenal of pitches for just such an event…problem was, Cover Girl was no slacker at bat.
Cross Country knelt behind the plate and waited for the first pitch, a ball. Second pitch and it was swing and a miss. The count was now one and one. Third pitch and Dusty found himself ducking to keep his head attached to his shoulders as she belted the ball towards centre field. Airborne and Frostbite both scrambled to get it and toss it to Torpedo who was manning first base. Cover Girl just beat the ball and was called safe. After winking at the SEAL she turned and bowed towards the stands. Flipping Clutch off when he bellowed something crude from the dug out in the process.
Dusty was surprised to see the next batter. Somehow Deep Six had been coerced into a social activity with more then a few people present. 'Righty', Dusty made the mental note and tossed the first pitch. "Shit!" Deep Six had nailed it in one swing and sent the ball hurtling towards the brush that marked the boundary for the field. Cover Girl bolted from first base as Deep Six kept an eye on where the ball was heading.
"I hate you." Torpedo remarked with a straight face, as Deep Six dashed past him and on his way to second. Cover Girl had gotten around all the bases and scored the first run. Deep Six managed to get to third before being stopped.
"Randy Johnson, you ain't!" Breaker bellowed over the PA towards Dusty. "The score is now one zip thanks to eh whoever." Dialtone teased. Deep Six narrowed his eyes at the communications tech before stepping cautiously towards home plate.
Dusty smirked when he saw who was next. True, Footloose was good at any sport he tried, however Dusty had always gotten the better of him when it came to baseball. The desert trooper struck his roommate out in three pitches. "Dude I swear you are so going to get it later." Footloose cursed as he retreated to the dug out.
Dusty managed to strand Deep Six at third by getting the next two batters out as well, much to the diver's chagrin. "That's fer surprisin' me." Dusty taunted.
Breaker and Dailtone were beginning to each feel the effects of the beer they had been drinking and it showed. "Pitching for the shirts, we have our very own Nolan 'Mainframe' Ryan!" Breaker laughed over the PA. Mainframe bowed dramatically and began tossing a few warms ups to the catcher.
"And catching for him is Doc 'dead meat' Greer! Fatally attired in his lovely BoSox jersey." Dailtone announced dramatically. This got a good laugh out of the Yankee fans in the crowd.
Torpedo's shoulder's shook with laughter as he stepped up to the plate. "Hey! No ammo!" Someone in the stands teased. Torpedo just grinned and flexed his batting arm for the crowd. "Do you know what shoes are?" Doc asked, glancing at his bare feet.
"Shoes…dat's dem things you wear on your feet, for go out to da fancy restaurants right?" Torpedo teased back. Mainframe eyed the SEAL warily for a moment before pitching. Torpedo swung and missed, Mainframe smirked. After a few more pitches, Torpedo had a full count. Mainframe hurled a low curve ball and Torpedo managed to get under it enough to send it into the air.
"Okay it would seem we have a squid convention going on, on second folks!" Breaker announced between gum snaps. Torpedo had made it to second base where Deep Six was positioned. The two exchanged looks, shrugged, and waited for the next batter.
Flint stepped up to the plate and swung the bat a little to get loose. Mainframe was about to pitch when something caught his eye. He doubled over in laughter instead. Flint raised an eyebrow at the pitcher and noticed that a few others on the field were laughing as well, including his teammate who was leaning on Deep Six for support. Puzzled now Flint looked back at Mainframe who was pointing behind the warrant officer. It took Flint roughly two point three seconds to get the joke when he peered over his bare shoulder.
Lady Jaye was seated cross-legged in her chair holding up one of the signs she had brought along. Flint had to admire her poker face when he read it; 'Drop Your Pants!' "Some support there, Allie." Flint called out, before getting ready to bat. After getting struck out, Flint wished he'd waited until after his turn to see what had been so funny.
The next batter came up to the plate. "You suck!"
"Yuck it up punk." Doc replied.
"Fuck you." Tunnel Rat taunted back.
"You know what they say about 'brothers' boy…you sure?"
"Kiss my ass!"
"I'll be stabbing your ass with a tetanus shot if you keep it up kid."
"And I'll be booting both your asses out, if you don't shut up and play!" Law warned Doc and Tunnel Rat. "Hijos de punta!" He swore.
Mainframe looked at home plate. "All done kiddies?" He asked before hurling his first pitch, which Tunnel Rat missed. A few more curses from the New York native and the second strike earned. Mainframe had a considerable size advantage over the petit Asian and he wasn't shy in using it either. Tunnel Rat however managed to get under the third pitch and sent the ball towards Sci-Fi who was playing shortstop. Sci-Fi grabbed it and hurled it towards Cover Girl who was manning the base Tunnel Rat was desperately racing to get to.
"Yer outta there!" Steeler, who was the first base umpire, called. The ball had beaten Tunnel Rat.
"I'm safe!" The smaller man argued.
"Order needs a chew toy." Law bellowed. Tunnel Rat glared and scuffed his way back to the dug out. Scarlet was up next.
"Don't even think about it Doc." She warned. Doc had a bad habit of distracting batters at the worst possible moment and Scarlet was well aware of that fact. Mainframe considered for a moment before pitching high to her. He cursed when she managed to stretch up enough to hit the ball soundly into orbit. Scarlet had driven Torpedo home and had made it to second base herself.
"The score is now one all, thanks to Miss O'Hara! …Y'all." Breaker announced.
"You just had to rub it in didn't ya smart ass?" Scarlet yelled.
Breaker was about to reply when the next batter came up. "This is baseball, not ice hockey Frostbite." He teased.
The Alaskan born Inuit gave Breaker a look before retorting. "It's along the same lines as cut-throat snow ball fights, I think I can manage." Frostbite managed quite well and belted the ball way out to left field, bringing Scarlet and himself home. "See told ya." He winked.
Dailtone laughed at the surprised look on Breaker's face. "Thanks to Mr. 'Summer? That's a myth right?' Seward, the score is now three to one!"
Stretcher's turn at bat and he wasted no time messing with the catcher. "I'm with the pacifist. You get roughed up by one of those Yankee maniacs, and I'm waiting for the dust to settle before even attempting to look at you."
"You're from Mass too, pal." Doc reminded him.
"Yeah but I ain't suicidal." Stretcher laughed.
Mainframe managed to strike the medic out after a few pitches. "Hey Tunnel Rat? Know where he's from?" Doc laughed, pointing to Stretcher who was heading back to the dug out. Stretcher shook his head wildly at Doc to keep him quiet, but to no avail. "He's another one of them BoSox fans!" Doc finished. Stretcher hung his head in defeat before looking towards the pint sized munitions expert. Stretcher endured unmerciless teasing from several Yankee fans for the rest of the game as a result.
"That's the end of the first inning and we've already got four runs on the boards and more trash talk then the NFL gets in a single season!" Dailtone announced.
Sci-Fi was first to bat for the shirts team. "Where the hell do you find those things?" Doc asked when he saw the laser trooper's shirt.
"I know people, who know people." Sci-Fi replied, tugging on his bright green and white jersey with a graffiti like drawing of himself on the back. Doc tried his distraction methods on Sci-Fi with little success. On the second pitch from Dusty, Sci-Fi brought his team back to within one point of the opposition.
"Home run! The Maniac from Montana saves the day for the shirts!" Breaker cheered.
"Maniac's right." Low Light smirked. He was just getting up to bat when his best friend came across home plate. The two shared a smirk before Low Light faced off against Dusty.
"However his plain's state buddy ain't so lucky." Dailtone announced after Dusty struck Low Light out. "Uh just kidding." Dailtone added when Low Light glared at him.
Duke was next to bat and he managed to get a good hit into deep centre, however Scarlet was waiting for it. She had to roll backwards to save herself and the catch when she tripped up a little. She bounced to her feet holding the ball triumphantly in her glove. "So much for 'All-American' in high school!" She hollered at Duke who was staring at her, slack jawed.
"Damn amigo, she's mean." Law uttered.
"No kidding…Jesus that was a catch." Duke replied. Law and Duke both looked at Dusty when he snorted a laugh. Next to Lady Jaye, Jinx was holding up a sign; 'You Suck!' Law chuckled as Duke walked off, muttering under his breath about his brother's choice in girlfriends.
Falcon didn't even look at the two when it was his turn to bat. He knew that Jinx was now holding the other sign that had flustered Flint earlier, judging from the assorted chuckles in the background. Like his elder brother, Falcon hit the ball towards Scarlet. The only difference was she missed and Falcon got to third base.
Dusty managed to strand him there by striking out Mainframe. "And the younger pitcher beats the older one!" Breaker called.
"Yeah and the older pitcher is gonna kick the younger one's ass in a minute." Mainframe snorted. True to his word he did. Dusty was the first up to bat for the 'no-shirts' and Mainframe was only too glad to return the favour of having been struck out. "Next!" Mainframe crowed.
Cross Country stepped up and turned his ball cap backwards. "C'mon y'all, give me yer best shot." He taunted. Mainframe did and Cross Country sent it into orbit, scoring another run for his team.
Mainframe had his eyes closed as Cross Country gave his rebel yell while crossing home plate. "I hate that hick." He muttered under his breath. Cracking an eye open, Mainframe saw that the 'no-shirts' had gone through their roster. "Okay. You got lucky last time Hawaii." He said to himself. This time his curve ball bested the SEAL and Torpedo was struck out.
Flint ignored the hooting and taunting from the stands this time around. He got to first base on bunt. Cover Girl waggled her eyebrows to Lady Jaye and made a jerking motion next to Flint's shorts. Steeler's laughter however saved Flint from getting his shorts pulled down. Cover Girl looked in the opposite direction and whistled innocently when Flint glared at her. "Don't even." He warned.
The game had gone on for a few more innings and had gotten really interesting by the bottom of the ninth. The 'shirts' had pulled ahead and now led by two runs. Doc grinned when he saw who was up to bat. "You have so lost this game kid." He taunted Tripwire. Tripwire ignored him and muttered something under his breath that Doc couldn't catch.
"Bottom of the ninth folks! One out and bases loaded! And Trip's batting, the 'no shirts' are officially screwed." Dialtone called. Breaker was snoring beside him, the beer finally claiming it's first victim.
Mainframe smirked. He'd survived all nine innings though the constant pitching was wearing him out. Tripwire was unfazed, his mind was back in the Buddhist monastery he'd dropped out of high school for. First pitch.
"Strike!" Law choked. The MP's voice was nearly gone from calling the game, which had lasted a lot longer then anticipated.
Mainframe sighed in relief; this was going to be easy. He hurled what had proven to be his deadly weapon for the day, a low curve ball. It was just the pitch Tripwire was waiting for. The swing started from a few millimetres next to the outside of Doc's knee and curved outwards in perfect textbook fashion.
Torpedo didn't even bother to look where it went, as he ran full speed for home plate. Airborne was right behind him as was Frostbite. Tripwire slowed enough between first and second to see Roadblock miss the catch and loose the ball in the bushes. The trio at home plate went ballistic when they saw that they had won the game. Tripwire stepped across home plate and was immediately strangled by his enthusiastic teammates.
"Well I'll be damned." Dailtone uttered as he watched the celebration on home plate.
The End.