Elizabeth took a deep breath of the crisp, December air. She hadn't been up here in weeks. But Vista Point always seemed to have a calming effect on her. She'd once told Jason she would come up for a break, hoping to find him. But Elizabeth knew she came up here to remember how to breathe.
Shifting nervously, she looked back over her shoulder at Francis. He, or another of Sonny's men, had been with her permanently since the accident. It was okay…most of the time. As much as she appreciated Francis, she still didn't think he got it. He didn't understand that sometimes she just needed to scream into the darkness, emptying herself of all the darkness inside.
Like that night on the steps of Kelly's his motorcycle boots announced him. Elizabeth had been waiting so long to hear the crunch of gravel underfoot that she forgot what it meant to her. Closing her eyes, she took another deep breath. Releasing it slowly, she reached into her purse and fished for a cigarette. Shaky fingers brought it to her mouth and when she tried to light it, the wind would blow it out. Knowing she couldn't do it with just one hand, she carefully removed her right arm from the sling to cup the flame. Finally, the end of the cigarette glowed orange.
"What're you doing here?" she asked.
Jason studied her profile, searching for something to say. There was so much, but so little. Things he had wanted to tell her for years but every time he tried, the fear in his heart had stopped him. Elizabeth had told him once that he wasn't scared for her, but for himself. It had taken four months of being away from her to find out. "Sonny told me about your accident."
"Yeah?" Elizabeth took a long drag, and then slowly released the smoke from her lungs. "It was three weeks ago. And here, I thought your plan was working. Turns out, Alcazar had bigger plans for me."
He took a step towards and gestured to the sling. "Is it broken?"
Elizabeth lifted her purple cast and nodded. "Your mother says I can get it off in a few weeks. We…" Elizabeth sighed. This was the part that always upset her. "We don't know if there's any permanent damage to my hand."
"And your ribs? He said something about your ribs."
"Cracked. Two of them. It hurts to breathe sometimes," she admitted. Elizabeth turned to look at him, her blue eyes searching for his. "What're you doing here?"
"I needed to see if you were okay," he whispered.
"I am." Elizabeth's voice was crisp and business like. She dropped the half-smoked cigarette and stamped it out. "Now that you've eased your conscious, I'd like for you to leave."
"Elizabeth–"
"No," she cut in. Turning quickly, Elizabeth faced him. "You don't get to do this, Jason. I'm fine. You have no right to waltz back into my life after you just left. I can't sit around and wait for you to leave again, so just go."
Jason dropped his head, his heart breaking with her every word. As he turned to go, he said, "What if I said I'm not leaving this time?"
"I'd say you always leave." Elizabeth watched as he stopped on the steps, like she had so many months ago. "I'd say, you always say you aren't going anywhere, but then you do. And I can't… Jason, I can't do this anymore. I love you too much to watch you walk out of my life."
Jason turned again to face her. "I won't leave this time. I…" he broke off.
"You?" she urged.
"I've spent the last four months, trying to get you out of my head and my heart. And it's impossible."
"Where have you been? You have a tan."
"Puerto Rico." Jason descended the steps and went to the wooden bench to sit. "Alcazar went after our assets there. He was planning a simultaneous attack on Port Charles and Puerto Rico. I went to stabilize things."
"Did you?"
"It's as stable as it ever is, I guess." Jason rested his chin on his hands and looked up at her. "Come sit with me?"
Elizabeth nodded, and then went to sit beside him. "I'm glad for you."
"What happened?"
Elizabeth closed her eyes, still feeling shaky from the night her life blew to pieces, quite literally. "I…I was working at Kelly's. Nikolas came over to walk me home, and we were talking. But I left my purse, so we had to go back. We got to the studio and I was searching for the keys. Next thing I know, I woke up in the hospital three days later."
"A bomb?"
"I guess. I lost everything that was important to me that night. All of my belongings. And I almost lost one of my best friends."
"Cassadine?"
"He…some shrapnel hit him in the eye. He and Gia flew out to L.A. early this week to talk with some doctors. They don't know if he'll ever see from his right eye again." Elizabeth felt the tears begin to silently slide down her face and didn't resist when Jason wrapped an arm around her and pulled him to her. "I should have listened to you, I'm sorry."
"Don't you ever, ever be sorry for this, Elizabeth. It was my fault. I…I should have been here."
"Why?" Elizabeth looked up at him through spiked eyelashes. "Before you left, you told me to stay away. That it was dangerous. But guess what? They blew up my studio anyway. They almost killed me and Nikolas. Do you get it now, Jason? Staying away doesn't help."
"I know that."
"Then why'd you stay gone so long?"
"It's best–"
"For who?" she demanded. "For me? Or for you? You told me once there was something real between us, and we had to decide what to do with it. Why do you keep running away from that?"
Jason closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "I'm not running–"
"The hell you aren't!" Elizabeth jerked away from him and stood. She began pacing the length of the bridge. "You've been running since that night in the park, Jason. You hide behind your business and who you are, but the truth is you're just scared. Robin hurt you, I get that. I'm sorry. But you can't punish me because of her. She's gone…Jason. It's just you and me."
"This has nothing to do with Robin," Jason told her. "I am dangerous, Elizabeth. People die around me. Don't you get that?"
"I get it!" she yelled. "I get a lot, Jason. I get that maybe I didn't really mean anything to you at all." Elizabeth closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She shifted her arm back into the sling and looked up at him. "I can't listen when you need me. And I can't be around whenever you want and then gone when you—when you don't. I can't be the friend you thought I was."
As his own words echoed in his head, Jason vaguely heard her shoes scuffle along the wood. He heard her ask Francis to take her home, and he realized he didn't even know where that was. He heard the car start and pull down the gravel driveway. And finally, he stood up to go home to Sonny and Carly and his empty penthouse.
~*~
"Courtney! AJ!" Elizabeth yelled. She dropped her purse on the couch and pulled the sling over her head. "Anyone here?"
She dropped the sling on the table and went into the kitchen. There was a sandwich covered in saran wrap on the table with a card next to it reading Liz. Smiling, she opened it. Hey, stranger. I've hardly seen you in the last few days. I got called into Kelly's and AJ's still out of town. I don't know if you know yet or not, but Jason's back in town. I just wanted to give you a heads up before you ran into him. I'll be home after the dinner rush, so I'll see you then. ~Courtney
"Too late for that," she muttered. Elizabeth picked up the sandwich and went to the refrigerator for a drink. Pulling out a can Coke she popped the top and left the saran wrap on the counter. After she slipped off her tennis shoes, she went into the living room to settle in for the night.
Elizabeth wasn't really sure how she'd come to live with Courtney and AJ. It wasn't one of those things she had planned. After the studio blew up, Sonny had offered her Carly's cottage, but she had politely refused. In truth, she was ready to be finished with Sonny, Jason, and the entire lot of them. She couldn't have a part of what she really wanted, so she didn't want any of it.
She'd been at Kelly's one day, apartment hunting, when Courtney mentioned they had an extra bedroom. It was small, but it would easily accommodate a twin bed and small dresser. Elizabeth had tried to refuse the room, but Courtney assured her they could use the extra income. And, Elizabeth had reasoned, the easiest way to get away from Sonny would be to take up with AJ Quartermaine.
It seemed to be working, with the exception of the guard. But once Alcazar was taken care of permanently, Elizabeth knew she wouldn't be seeing Francis anymore. Whoever the next guy was wouldn't even know about her and Jason. Just the way he wanted it…just the way she'd come to accept it.
She'd just taken a bite from her sandwich when she heard a knock on the door. She jumped at first, wondering why Courtney hadn't just used her key. Elizabeth stood and went to the window. She peeked out and saw Francis still on guard at the building door, and knew whoever it was at the door was safe. Elizabeth left the plate on the coffee table and carried the sandwich with her, taking another bite. "Hey Court–"
Her words caught in her throat when she saw Jason standing there. Reminding herself to swallow, she looked up to meet his eyes. "How'd you find out where I was?"
"It took about two seconds to get it out of Carly." Not bothering to ask, Jason stepped into the living room. "I was going to call Francis… but he's not your guard so that I know where you are."
"Where I am doesn't concern you at all," she reminded him. Elizabeth took another bite of the cheese sandwich and chewed carefully. "Courtney and AJ aren't here. You can leave now."
"Why here?" he asked.
"So you'd never come to visit me."
"Do you hate me that much?"
Elizabeth's eyes softened when she looked up at him. "I don't hate you at all, even though I think I should sometimes."
"You're probably right." Jason reached up to cup her cheek, gently tracing her jaw line with his thumb. "You didn't let me finish what I wanted to tell you."
Elizabeth sighed impatiently. "So you came all the way over here? What if AJ had been here?"
"What I want to tell you doesn't concern AJ. It's about you and me."
"I know, okay. You're dangerous. Please, please, please stop seeking me out to tell me that. I don't come to you, so please stop coming–" Elizabeth stopped when his hand covered her mouth.
"I missed you," he whispered. "I used to sit outside at sunrise to watch the ocean…the color at the horizon reminded me so much of your eyes. The white sand beaches reminded me of your delicate skin." Jason returned his hand to her jaw. "I've been gone for four months, but I thought of you every second. I kept telling myself it would get easier, that eventually you'd just fade away, but it never happened."
Jason took a step towards her and shifted his hand to the back of her neck. "I keep trying to forget you, but all I can do is remember. The way you smell like snow, the way you always have a smile ready, the way my heart breaks when you cry. But I also remember that wild look in your eyes when I pulled you from the crypt, and the blood on your arm when Zander shot you. The bad always comes with the good. There are a million reasons why I should leave Port Charles and never come back, and only one reason for me to say. You are that reason, Elizabeth."
"What're you trying to say?"
"You said that you love me too much to watch me walk away from you again…well, I could say the same. I can't watch you leave me again, not being sure if you know how I feel about you."
Jason brought his other hand up to her face and gently leaned down. His lips brushed over hers twice, and then he applied a gentle pressure to her mouth. She opened for him, allowing his tongue to sweep between her lips before he pulled back. "I can't be the friend you thought I was because I want to be more. I can't watch you with Zander or Lucky–"
"There is no Zander or Lucky, Jason."
"Shhh," he quieted her. "I know. You were right," he whispered. "I was scared. It terrified me that you make me feel so alive. You complete something inside of me I didn't even know was missing." Jason peered down at her big blue eyes, spread wide with happiness. "Say something."
"I love you."
Jason closed his eyes as he felt his heart contract inside of his chest with joy. When she'd said it before, he hadn't let it be processed, for fear she didn't know what she was saying. But now…now he knew it was the truth. "I love you too."
Leaning down, he kissed her again. This time it held a little more pressure, but also a little more promise. Jason gently rested his forehead against hers and smiled. "Can we please leave before AJ shows up?"
The smile that she gave him lit up her entire face and she nodded. "Just let me leave Courtney a note."
"Okay."
Going to the coffee table, she picked up the card her friend had left for her. Crossing out 'Liz' she wrote the blonde's name on the front of the card, then turned to the inside. At the bottom of Courtney's note, Elizabeth wrote in red: With Jason…right where I need to be. See you tomorrow. ~Liz
finis