Title: Big Fellowship
Chapter: 6 (It's about time, isn't it?)
Author: Doodlez
A/N: I'm sorry! I'm sorryyy! I've been lazy, and fresh out of ideas, and haven't done anything on Big Fellowship until now. I promise I'll work harder to update more frequently! I'll do something to make it up to you guys! I promise!
(RANDOM DRAGONBALL Z QUOTE)
Piccolo: I promise.
Lord of the Worlds: Well, I suppose. you have an honest face.
Piccolo: (Thinking) And you have horrible eyesight.
Yes, I am a Dragonball Z fan. But isn't everybody? I mean, I get the graphic novels from the library, which is so very close, and the comics are so very cool. anyway. Oh, and I'm sure some of you noticed my screw-up in Chapter 5: There already WAS a television. Remember? Legolas and Borimor were watching a soap opera. so Legolas can't be puzzled about the television. sorry about that. So. I'll try to fix that. Anyway. Onward ho!
8:00 PM
One bad sitcom and two game shows later ("Just how many versions of Weakest Link ARE there?" muses Frodo), the Fellowship heads off to bed, only to find that two of their bedrooms had disappeared. They patiently wait for an explanation from Big Fellowship.
8:10 PM
"Dammit! Say something!" Aragorn barks.
"Juth a minuff." Big Fellowship mumbles, sounds of crunching and snorting is heard. Eating noises.
8:15 PM
Big Fellowship is apparently done with his meal ("Big Fellowship can't always be watching, you know!"), and he clears his throat to speak.
"The Council of El. ehh. .the producers decided that we needed to merge the four bedrooms into two, larger ones."
"Why?" Borimor asks, after a short silence.
"Because it gave you room for a ping-pong table."
Frodo and Gollum shuffle around the corner. Two whoops (a hiss, in Gollum's case) of delight and sounds of ping-ponging are heard, confirming that there is a new ping-pong table in the spot where Borimor and Aragorn's room used to be.
Aragorn looks up at one of the many cameras, scowling. "I never agreed to this!"
"Check your contract, and I will bet you this Happy Meal that you will find a paragraph there, stating that. lemme see." There are sounds of rustling papers. ".It says. My, lots of big words. .well, basically it means that we're allowed to make decisions for you as long as your are a resident of the Big Fellowship household."
"But you took and burnt our contracts once we finished signing them." Borimor blinks, sudden suspicions arousing. "Heyyy. Wait a minute." He's cut off by a ping-pong ball to the head, hit by Frodo. "Oi, heads up!" Pippin calls, a bit too late. "It's a bit hard, bein' tied to ye' opponent, y'know. heehee! Missed that'un, Gollum!"
Borimor collapses on the ground, holding his head and wailing in agony. Aragorn kneels at his side.
"My King. I have. failed."
Sam and Legolas exchange glances. Sam looks down at Borimor and kicks his side. "Get up. It's just a ping-pong ball."
Borimor and Aragorn scowl, angry that their chance to be overly emotional (Or, one might say, romantic.) with each other had been spoiled by a hobbit and an elf (an elf, and a hobbit who is envious that Aragorn and Borimor get more action than himself and a certain Frodo Baggins, to be more exact).
(A/N: I am queen of run-on sentences! All hail my grammatical error-ness. I SAID ALL HAIL, DAMMIT! HAIL! NOW! And while you're at it, get me some more dum-dums.)
The two get up, and begin to head off to the bedrooms, dragging Legolas and Sam behind them. Legolas has no objection to going to bed so early without a game of ping-pong, as long as he gets top bunk. Borimor agrees, settling down on the bottom bunk. Legolas hops nimbly up to his bunk, landing silently and cat-like ("Showoff," mutters Sam). He applies an herbal beauty mask and lays cucumbers over his eyes before laying back on top of his covers (One arm dangling over the side; there wasn't that much slack in their rope).
Aragorn ducks his head to enter the bottom bunk, and Sam begins to climb the stairs to the top. They suddenly jerk back and fall onto the ground with quiet yelps of surprise.
"A.Aragorn." Sam gasps in horror, staring at his handcuffed wrist. There was only one inch of rope between their two wrists.
"No." Aragorn stares wide-eyed at their wrists, his gaze slowly travelling back to their double bunk, which had suddenly and magically changed into a single Queen-sized bed.
Legolas opens one eye, peering over at them, and closes it again, muttering nonchalantly, "Well, you're screwed."
10:00 PM
It's the night before Tuesday, and all through the house
Not a creature/Man/hobbit/wizard/former-hobbit-lizard-thing is stirring,
Not even a mouse (or a ping-pong ball).
All the stockings are hung by the bedside with care,
In hopes that small Gollum will be driven away by the smell and won't be there.
The inhabitants of the Big Fellowship house are snug in their beds, While visions of homocides and severe maiming to the other Fellowship members dance in their heads.
And then from Room 2 there arose such a clatter, Pippin rose from his bed to see what was the matter.
And rise Pippin did, looking out over the room from his high perch on one of the top bunks in Room 1. His super-sensitive hobbit hearing (Hobbit ears aren't that big for nothing, you know) pick up muffled sounds coming from the room next to him. He grips the side of the bed and swings his head below, poking Gandalf with his finger. "Oy, Ganny, gittup. I wanna see wha's goin' on."
Gandalf groans and rolls over, knocking his ankles together painfully (His feet were hanging over the end of the bed). He groans again, slowly sitting up, knocking his head on the bottom of the top bunk, and falling back again.
"Owww."
"C'mon, old man," Pippin mumbles, sliding off the top bunk and and onto the floor.
10:01 PM
There is (and has been, for the past minute) movement in Room 2. One of the cameras zooms in for a closer look at the single Queen-sized bed, occupied by Sam and Aragorn. The camera switches to night-vision, and Aragorn can be seen with his arms around Sam. Sam's nestled right next to Aragorn, resting his head on one of his arms. Aragorn smiles in his sleep and leans over slightly to kiss Sam on the ear. Sam smiles, snuggling down into the covers. He suddenly snaps open his eyes, and looks around, staring wide-eyed at Aragorn's arms. "Wh.. what are you doing? Why did you kiss my ear?." Sam hisses. Aragorn also opens his eyes, looking around, and opens his mouth for an answer, but has none.
Sam's face pales, and he gulps, adding after a moment, "Where is your hand?"
"Between two pillows."
".THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!"
Both Man and hobbit jump up, slapping themselves and shivering uncontrollably, attempting to make normal male conversation ("S-so. did you see those Cubs last week?" "Oh, yeah. great. great team." "Yeah. really. great.").
The door to Room 2 opens, and Pippin and Gandalf poke their heads in (Gandalf is illuminating the room, thanks to his handy-dandy glowing rock, as seen in the Fellowship of the Ring movie*), seeing Aragorn and Sam, standing casually, communicating in stutters and grunts.
"Well. Everythin' seems ta be al'ight."
"Yes. Back to bed, then?"
"Affer you, ol' man."
"Thank you." They disappear back into Room 1, and are snoring within minutes. Sam and Aragorn remain where they stand, both unwilling to go back into the bed.
TUESDAY (finally)
2:00 AM
There is movement in Room 2.
A camera with night-vision reveals a rising Gimli. He rises, stretches, and hops onto the floor, stumbling out of bed, half-asleep, dragging an unconscious Merry behind him. "Bathroom," he mutters, shuffling past a rigid Sam and Aragorn, who both nod sleepily, still refusing to go back to bed.
Gimli drags Merry out of the room, into the bathroom, and back to Room 2. "G'night," he mutters to Sam and Aragorn, flinging Merry over his shoulder and onto the top bunk. Merry continues sleeping. Gimli stumbles forward, landing with a whump on the bottom bunk, slipping back under the covers and snoring loudly.
4:00 AM
Legolas sits up, his inner alarm clock shrieking. He peels off the cucumbers but keeps his eyes closed, staying still for a few minutes until he's wide awake, and jumps off the top bunk, landing silently on the ground. He nudges Borimor awake. "Time to make breakfast!" he whispers cheerfully, and straightens, turning to see a still-standing Sam and Aragorn. Both have heavy dark circles under their eyes, and even if they wanted to go back into the bed, they couldn't, because their limbs and muscles were too stiff to move from standing so long.
Legolas blinks, looking at both of them, and shrugs, walking out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen (he decided to skip his morning exercises-some of them were just too hard to do when tied to another person), Borimor stumbling sleepily behind.
7:00 AM
Gollum opens both of his beady eyes and sits up, stretching his long, spindly arms. He glances at a digital clock next to the bed (he had raved about his "glowing, time-telling precioussss" for hours until Frodo had knocked him out with a heavy book to make him shut up and go to sleep), and gasps, leaping up and dragging Frodo to the living room. Frodo blinks, beginning to gain consciousness. ".Mmmfg..eh? Where're we going?"
"Mussssssn't missssss Ssssailor Moon-NOOOOOO! PRECIOUSSSS!" Gollum howls upon entering the living room, and collapses at the spot where the TV had been. "PRECIOUSSSS.gone."
Frodo raises his head, still not fully awake yet. "Mm. y'know, y'have some .possessive probl'ms."
Gollum continues sobbing and shrieking, beginning to wake up the household. Two by two, they slowly file into the living room. "Where's th' fire?." Pippin mumbles, rubbing at his eyes. Gandalf leans on his staff, beginning to drift back to sleep. He isn't used to waking up before 12.
"My PRECIOUSSSS is gone.GONE!" Gollum wails, clutching at the air.
Big Fellowship is heard yawning. "Ohh. that. the television is brought out only when we-well, I, really-decide to reward you. I gave you the television earlier because I thought it would be a good distraction from your handcuffs an' ropes. how very sweet of me. now, if you don't mind, I have some sleep to catch up on. Big Fellowship out."
The cast is silent, save Gollum's occasional sniffs. Legolas claps his hands. "Well. now that we're all up, why not have some breakfast? Come on, everyone, into the kitchen. say, where's Sam and Aragorn?"
Merry looks down the hall. "Well, last I saw 'em, they were havin' some sort of starin' contest. or a standin' contest. it's been runnin' pretty long, but I think Aragorn's beginning to wear down. Anybody willing to place a bet?."
"I bet my wristwatch on Sam!"
"And I'll bet my Midnight Blue nail polish that neither of them will last another hour."
"I'll add my lucky Mariners cap to the pot!"
*And it can be yours for the incredibly low price of $189.99! Just send cash (cash ONLY) in an envelope to me, and you'll receive your handy-dandy glowing rock in the mail within a few short years! (Not responsible for handling of glowing rock or damage to glowing rock during shipping and handling or disappearance of glowing rock during shipping and handling.)
(A/N: Another chapter of Big Fellowship. done! It is now 3:00 AM, I ran out of lemonheads, and they PLAYED this song a couple hours ago! Bad radio station! BAD!
This is a pretty long chapter. I hope it makes up for waiting so long to make it. I'll draw some pictures, that's what I'll do! Heeheehee. yes. Oh, the "Those aren't pillows!" scene © the movie Trains, Planes, and Automobiles. Cute movie. Go see.
So, until next chapter: Ta! Big Fellowship out.)
Chapter: 6 (It's about time, isn't it?)
Author: Doodlez
A/N: I'm sorry! I'm sorryyy! I've been lazy, and fresh out of ideas, and haven't done anything on Big Fellowship until now. I promise I'll work harder to update more frequently! I'll do something to make it up to you guys! I promise!
(RANDOM DRAGONBALL Z QUOTE)
Piccolo: I promise.
Lord of the Worlds: Well, I suppose. you have an honest face.
Piccolo: (Thinking) And you have horrible eyesight.
Yes, I am a Dragonball Z fan. But isn't everybody? I mean, I get the graphic novels from the library, which is so very close, and the comics are so very cool. anyway. Oh, and I'm sure some of you noticed my screw-up in Chapter 5: There already WAS a television. Remember? Legolas and Borimor were watching a soap opera. so Legolas can't be puzzled about the television. sorry about that. So. I'll try to fix that. Anyway. Onward ho!
8:00 PM
One bad sitcom and two game shows later ("Just how many versions of Weakest Link ARE there?" muses Frodo), the Fellowship heads off to bed, only to find that two of their bedrooms had disappeared. They patiently wait for an explanation from Big Fellowship.
8:10 PM
"Dammit! Say something!" Aragorn barks.
"Juth a minuff." Big Fellowship mumbles, sounds of crunching and snorting is heard. Eating noises.
8:15 PM
Big Fellowship is apparently done with his meal ("Big Fellowship can't always be watching, you know!"), and he clears his throat to speak.
"The Council of El. ehh. .the producers decided that we needed to merge the four bedrooms into two, larger ones."
"Why?" Borimor asks, after a short silence.
"Because it gave you room for a ping-pong table."
Frodo and Gollum shuffle around the corner. Two whoops (a hiss, in Gollum's case) of delight and sounds of ping-ponging are heard, confirming that there is a new ping-pong table in the spot where Borimor and Aragorn's room used to be.
Aragorn looks up at one of the many cameras, scowling. "I never agreed to this!"
"Check your contract, and I will bet you this Happy Meal that you will find a paragraph there, stating that. lemme see." There are sounds of rustling papers. ".It says. My, lots of big words. .well, basically it means that we're allowed to make decisions for you as long as your are a resident of the Big Fellowship household."
"But you took and burnt our contracts once we finished signing them." Borimor blinks, sudden suspicions arousing. "Heyyy. Wait a minute." He's cut off by a ping-pong ball to the head, hit by Frodo. "Oi, heads up!" Pippin calls, a bit too late. "It's a bit hard, bein' tied to ye' opponent, y'know. heehee! Missed that'un, Gollum!"
Borimor collapses on the ground, holding his head and wailing in agony. Aragorn kneels at his side.
"My King. I have. failed."
Sam and Legolas exchange glances. Sam looks down at Borimor and kicks his side. "Get up. It's just a ping-pong ball."
Borimor and Aragorn scowl, angry that their chance to be overly emotional (Or, one might say, romantic.) with each other had been spoiled by a hobbit and an elf (an elf, and a hobbit who is envious that Aragorn and Borimor get more action than himself and a certain Frodo Baggins, to be more exact).
(A/N: I am queen of run-on sentences! All hail my grammatical error-ness. I SAID ALL HAIL, DAMMIT! HAIL! NOW! And while you're at it, get me some more dum-dums.)
The two get up, and begin to head off to the bedrooms, dragging Legolas and Sam behind them. Legolas has no objection to going to bed so early without a game of ping-pong, as long as he gets top bunk. Borimor agrees, settling down on the bottom bunk. Legolas hops nimbly up to his bunk, landing silently and cat-like ("Showoff," mutters Sam). He applies an herbal beauty mask and lays cucumbers over his eyes before laying back on top of his covers (One arm dangling over the side; there wasn't that much slack in their rope).
Aragorn ducks his head to enter the bottom bunk, and Sam begins to climb the stairs to the top. They suddenly jerk back and fall onto the ground with quiet yelps of surprise.
"A.Aragorn." Sam gasps in horror, staring at his handcuffed wrist. There was only one inch of rope between their two wrists.
"No." Aragorn stares wide-eyed at their wrists, his gaze slowly travelling back to their double bunk, which had suddenly and magically changed into a single Queen-sized bed.
Legolas opens one eye, peering over at them, and closes it again, muttering nonchalantly, "Well, you're screwed."
10:00 PM
It's the night before Tuesday, and all through the house
Not a creature/Man/hobbit/wizard/former-hobbit-lizard-thing is stirring,
Not even a mouse (or a ping-pong ball).
All the stockings are hung by the bedside with care,
In hopes that small Gollum will be driven away by the smell and won't be there.
The inhabitants of the Big Fellowship house are snug in their beds, While visions of homocides and severe maiming to the other Fellowship members dance in their heads.
And then from Room 2 there arose such a clatter, Pippin rose from his bed to see what was the matter.
And rise Pippin did, looking out over the room from his high perch on one of the top bunks in Room 1. His super-sensitive hobbit hearing (Hobbit ears aren't that big for nothing, you know) pick up muffled sounds coming from the room next to him. He grips the side of the bed and swings his head below, poking Gandalf with his finger. "Oy, Ganny, gittup. I wanna see wha's goin' on."
Gandalf groans and rolls over, knocking his ankles together painfully (His feet were hanging over the end of the bed). He groans again, slowly sitting up, knocking his head on the bottom of the top bunk, and falling back again.
"Owww."
"C'mon, old man," Pippin mumbles, sliding off the top bunk and and onto the floor.
10:01 PM
There is (and has been, for the past minute) movement in Room 2. One of the cameras zooms in for a closer look at the single Queen-sized bed, occupied by Sam and Aragorn. The camera switches to night-vision, and Aragorn can be seen with his arms around Sam. Sam's nestled right next to Aragorn, resting his head on one of his arms. Aragorn smiles in his sleep and leans over slightly to kiss Sam on the ear. Sam smiles, snuggling down into the covers. He suddenly snaps open his eyes, and looks around, staring wide-eyed at Aragorn's arms. "Wh.. what are you doing? Why did you kiss my ear?." Sam hisses. Aragorn also opens his eyes, looking around, and opens his mouth for an answer, but has none.
Sam's face pales, and he gulps, adding after a moment, "Where is your hand?"
"Between two pillows."
".THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!"
Both Man and hobbit jump up, slapping themselves and shivering uncontrollably, attempting to make normal male conversation ("S-so. did you see those Cubs last week?" "Oh, yeah. great. great team." "Yeah. really. great.").
The door to Room 2 opens, and Pippin and Gandalf poke their heads in (Gandalf is illuminating the room, thanks to his handy-dandy glowing rock, as seen in the Fellowship of the Ring movie*), seeing Aragorn and Sam, standing casually, communicating in stutters and grunts.
"Well. Everythin' seems ta be al'ight."
"Yes. Back to bed, then?"
"Affer you, ol' man."
"Thank you." They disappear back into Room 1, and are snoring within minutes. Sam and Aragorn remain where they stand, both unwilling to go back into the bed.
TUESDAY (finally)
2:00 AM
There is movement in Room 2.
A camera with night-vision reveals a rising Gimli. He rises, stretches, and hops onto the floor, stumbling out of bed, half-asleep, dragging an unconscious Merry behind him. "Bathroom," he mutters, shuffling past a rigid Sam and Aragorn, who both nod sleepily, still refusing to go back to bed.
Gimli drags Merry out of the room, into the bathroom, and back to Room 2. "G'night," he mutters to Sam and Aragorn, flinging Merry over his shoulder and onto the top bunk. Merry continues sleeping. Gimli stumbles forward, landing with a whump on the bottom bunk, slipping back under the covers and snoring loudly.
4:00 AM
Legolas sits up, his inner alarm clock shrieking. He peels off the cucumbers but keeps his eyes closed, staying still for a few minutes until he's wide awake, and jumps off the top bunk, landing silently on the ground. He nudges Borimor awake. "Time to make breakfast!" he whispers cheerfully, and straightens, turning to see a still-standing Sam and Aragorn. Both have heavy dark circles under their eyes, and even if they wanted to go back into the bed, they couldn't, because their limbs and muscles were too stiff to move from standing so long.
Legolas blinks, looking at both of them, and shrugs, walking out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen (he decided to skip his morning exercises-some of them were just too hard to do when tied to another person), Borimor stumbling sleepily behind.
7:00 AM
Gollum opens both of his beady eyes and sits up, stretching his long, spindly arms. He glances at a digital clock next to the bed (he had raved about his "glowing, time-telling precioussss" for hours until Frodo had knocked him out with a heavy book to make him shut up and go to sleep), and gasps, leaping up and dragging Frodo to the living room. Frodo blinks, beginning to gain consciousness. ".Mmmfg..eh? Where're we going?"
"Mussssssn't missssss Ssssailor Moon-NOOOOOO! PRECIOUSSSS!" Gollum howls upon entering the living room, and collapses at the spot where the TV had been. "PRECIOUSSSS.gone."
Frodo raises his head, still not fully awake yet. "Mm. y'know, y'have some .possessive probl'ms."
Gollum continues sobbing and shrieking, beginning to wake up the household. Two by two, they slowly file into the living room. "Where's th' fire?." Pippin mumbles, rubbing at his eyes. Gandalf leans on his staff, beginning to drift back to sleep. He isn't used to waking up before 12.
"My PRECIOUSSSS is gone.GONE!" Gollum wails, clutching at the air.
Big Fellowship is heard yawning. "Ohh. that. the television is brought out only when we-well, I, really-decide to reward you. I gave you the television earlier because I thought it would be a good distraction from your handcuffs an' ropes. how very sweet of me. now, if you don't mind, I have some sleep to catch up on. Big Fellowship out."
The cast is silent, save Gollum's occasional sniffs. Legolas claps his hands. "Well. now that we're all up, why not have some breakfast? Come on, everyone, into the kitchen. say, where's Sam and Aragorn?"
Merry looks down the hall. "Well, last I saw 'em, they were havin' some sort of starin' contest. or a standin' contest. it's been runnin' pretty long, but I think Aragorn's beginning to wear down. Anybody willing to place a bet?."
"I bet my wristwatch on Sam!"
"And I'll bet my Midnight Blue nail polish that neither of them will last another hour."
"I'll add my lucky Mariners cap to the pot!"
*And it can be yours for the incredibly low price of $189.99! Just send cash (cash ONLY) in an envelope to me, and you'll receive your handy-dandy glowing rock in the mail within a few short years! (Not responsible for handling of glowing rock or damage to glowing rock during shipping and handling or disappearance of glowing rock during shipping and handling.)
(A/N: Another chapter of Big Fellowship. done! It is now 3:00 AM, I ran out of lemonheads, and they PLAYED this song a couple hours ago! Bad radio station! BAD!
This is a pretty long chapter. I hope it makes up for waiting so long to make it. I'll draw some pictures, that's what I'll do! Heeheehee. yes. Oh, the "Those aren't pillows!" scene © the movie Trains, Planes, and Automobiles. Cute movie. Go see.
So, until next chapter: Ta! Big Fellowship out.)