RETURNING HOME, PART ONE

CHAPTER THREE. RESOLUTION

***

Rory checked her pocket, her backpack slipping off her shoulder before she forcefully replaced it and stuck her other arm in the remaining shoulder strap. Having been satisfied that her return bus ticket was still tucked safely in her pocket, Rory and Jess wordlessly made their way from the bank of lockers in the interior of the Port Authority Bus Terminal to the boarding docks. According to the printed schedule on her ticket, they had arrived not a moment too soon. Her bus was due to leave in only 15 minutes. Jess, however, was torn. Although he wanted Rory to arrive in time for her mother's ceremony, he didn't want to let her slip away from him just yet.

The two exited out the door towards the docks, totally oblivious to the travel announcement being delivered over the intercom, and the accompanying resounding groan from the wearied travelers clustered in the lobby. Jess passed her Go-Go's record to her as she surveyed the row of buses parked outside. "I think this one's mine," she stated as she navigated through a swarm of people towards one particular bus.

A glance at the bus's posted destination confirmed her statement. "Yup. Sign says 'Boonsville'." Boonsville, Connecticut, about three and a half hours away from here, thought Jess morosely.

"Excuse me," came a timid voice beside them. The man turned to Rory. "Which way is 44th?"

"Oh!" Surprise and pleasure were written on Rory's face and the sight of it ephemerally distracted Jess from his imminent loneliness. "Um. That way," she said pointing south.

Jess stifled a laugh as the man expressed his gratitude and took off in the direction she had sent him.

"I got asked directions!" Rory gushed, turning back to Jess.

"I saw," he said, smiling now.

"He took me for a native! That's so cool," she enthused.

"It's very impressive. 44th's the other way."

Her face instantaneously fell. "Oh no!"

"Sorry."

"Oh man! I should go find him," she wailed.

"He'll figure it out when he sees all the numbers gettin' smaller instead of bigger."

She was somewhat pacified. "He still thought I was a native. That's cool," she reminded him self-redeemingly.

"I'm your witness."

"Well. I should go." Her expression was essentially content, but with a decidedly heartbreaking undertone.

"OK."

"I gotta go to my mom's graduation."

"And give her Belinda."

"And give her Belinda," she echoed, gesturing to the record in her unbroken hand. She was stalling. It was a good sign.

"Well. Go on." She was going to have to leave before he broke down and said something uncalled for; like 'Stay', or 'I love you' or something equally stupid and embarrassing. When she hesitated again, he added, "I'll check on the guy. I'll make sure he's not wandering around looking for 44th."

She finally stepped onto the bus, leaving Jess, literally and figuratively, alone, as though the source of warmth had been pulled away from his heart. He looked up at her through the bus window. As she walked towards a seat in the back, eyeing him all the while, he followed on the ground. When she chose a seat, he spoke "Why did you come here?"

Not hearing him, she opened the bus's window. "What?"

"I said, 'Why did you come here?'"

"Well…"

"I mean you ditched school and everything. It's so not you. Why'd you do it?" Say it! Say you missed me! Say you love me! Say it! Jess frustratedly pushed these rogue thoughts out of his mind as he tried to concentrate on her response.

"Because, you didn't say goodbye." It was a simple response, but she said it with enough candid emotion to send tingles of warm affection straight to his soul. Rory may have been going away, but he would carry this moment, and this feeling, with him a long time.

"Oh…" he said softly, thankful that his voice hadn't cracked in doing so. "Bye Rory."

"Bye Jess." With that, Jess gave her a rakish smile and took off buoyantly in the direction she had sent the tourist, his heart full.

***

Jess stepped out of the elevator onto the fifth floor, having just returned home from the bus depot, smiling dopily all the way.

By now he'd remembered the trick to opening the deadbolt and he unlocked the door with a flourish. Stepping inside he kicked off his shoes and tossed his keys in the junk bowl by the door. He found his mother sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Hey," he offered.

Liz glanced at him and did a double take when she took in the unanticipated merriment on his face. "Hey Jess. How was your day?"

"Good." Jess stood there by the couch looking right back at her, until she smiled too.

"Wanna watch TV with me?"

"What's on?" he inquired even as his mind iterated yes. For some enigmatic reason, he wanted to be close to her. Maybe it was the way they were grinning at each other.

"CSI."

That show's not bad, he contemplated as he took a seat on the sectional couch, biting his lip in embarrassment at his overt happiness. "OK." They turned their attention to the show contentedly.

"So Jess," she began during a commercial break. Their grins were gone but a cloud of companionship still blanketed them. "I have Monday off. I was thinking we should go down and get you re-registered in school. I mean… you're planning to stay right?"

"Do I have a choice this time?" he asked sincerely.

"Of course."

"I didn't have a choice before when you shipped me off to Stars Hollow."

"Oh… Well I'd just thought that it would be for the best. I obviously wasn't able to handle you and I thought maybe Luke could." She sighed and glanced tentatively at him. "I'm sorry if you felt that you didn't have a choice. Was it really awful there? I haven't been back there in so long."

Jess was quiet for a moment. "Actually it turned out that it wasn't so bad after all."

"Really? I hated growing up there. Everybody knowing your business, breathing down your neck."

"Yeah that's true." Jess nodded thoughtfully. "It was like that. But there were good things about the place to." It was curious the way Jess could suddenly focus only on the good things.

"Huh. You're a stronger person than I am." The show came back on and they watched as Grissom, Sara and Warrick investigated the bombing of a Las Vegas office building.

In the next commercial break, it was Jess who broke the silence. "I kinda miss it there."

"Oh." He was surprised to note the sad expression on her face as she said it. "I guess that means you'd rather go back."

"Actually, I'm thinking about it."

"I'm sorry that I've been such a bad mother to you Jess."

"No it's not that. Hey, I've been just as bad to you. Besides, we've been getting along these last couple of days, haven't we?"

"I thought so too. I'm gonna miss you again."

"Again!" Jess exclaimed with humoured exasperation. "As if you missed me before!"

"I did."

"Right."

"I did. Granted, it was more difficult to miss you before – you were such an offensive punk," the woman muttered glibly while Jess laughed. "But I think maybe you've calmed down a bit now."

Jess thought for a moment. "Yeah I think so. Actually… I think you have too."

"Yeah I have," she replied, pondering as Jess had. "I'm starting to get things under control, I think."

"So I can go back to Stars Hollow?"

"It's up to you. But you should make up your mind soon. You've already missed enough school. Too much actually."

Jess almost laughed out loud as her long overdue parenting skills were finally revealed. She doesn't know how much school I missed even when I was enrolled. Keeping his face straight, or as straight as he could under the circumstances, he admitted, "I think I want to go back. If Luke will take me."

"Oh. OK." Pensively, they both then turned back to the TV and watched as Grissom told his lead suspect he was free to go.

***

Late the next afternoon, Jess picked up the phone and dialed his friend Jason. Now that Jess knew he was going back to Stars Hollow – now that he knew he was only a visitor to New York – he felt a little bit more eager to touch base with his friends. Who knew when the opportunity would present itself again? When Jason answered the phone, Jess exclaimed "Hey man!"

"Jess?" came the disbelieving response.

"The one and only!"

"Holy shit! How ya doing, man?"

"Not bad. Not bad. Listen, I'm in town for a couple days, you and the guys wanna get together?"

"Do you even need to ask? I'll call Eliot and Pete. You call Noddy. He's probably looking for an excuse to avoid Cheryl anyway."

Jess laughed. Noddy and Cheryl's relationship was in a perpetual state of flux. Some things never changed.

"What say we meet at the corner of Bleecker and 6th?" Jason continued, listing off an intersection that bisected their apartments.

"Sounds good. Say an hour?"

"Yup. See ya then."

An hour later, Jess caught up with his friends by the basketball court. Jason, Noddy, Eliot and Pete were already there.

"Jace! Nods-my-man!" Jess called out. "Peter!" he added in a deep, reprimanding voice, faking a punch to the other boy's gut. Pete pushed him back with a laugh. Jess turned to Eliot, "Hey Geek!"

"Geek! You're the bookworm Mariano!" Eliot came back, swinging an arm around Jess's neck and putting him in a good-natured headlock.

"So where to?" asked Jess, when he'd disentangled himself, to a round of laughter and greetings.

"Hang on. We have to wait for Danica and her friend," Eliot replied, referring to Pete's long time girlfriend. Jess looked at Pete quizzically. He had been expecting a guy's night out. But, in all honesty, he didn't mind that girls would be tagging along.

"Don't look at me, I didn't invite her." Pete said.

Jess raised an eyebrow, but before he could ask Pete to explain his comment, Jason spoke up. "Well speak of the Devil."

Jess turned to see Danica and her friend Sheila approaching their group. "Hey guys!" Danica said, sauntering past Pete and slipping into Eliot's arms. After kissing Eliot, she turned and added "Hey Jess. Long time no see."

"Yeah apparently I've missed a lot." He muttered incredulously, looking from Danica to Pete to Eliot. Some things never changed, but evidently some things did.

Then Sheila piped up "Hey Jessie!" She gave him a little hug and a peck on the cheek.

She was just being sociable, Jess knew; she was a friend and nothing more. Sheila was just the huggy-feely type. Even still, he slipped out of her arms quickly. "Hey Sheila." Now that Danica and Sheila were there, the guys would probably be on their best behaviour. Truthfully, Jess was a little bit glad for that. He didn't feel like breaking the law tonight, and when these guys got together, you never knew.

"Hey lets go bowling." Danica suggested.

"Bowling," wailed Jason. "Jess doesn't want to go bowling. Not when there are so many other things we could do," he added with a devious smile.

Danica decided to play the girlfriend card. She sidled up to Eliot and, in her most seductive voice, begged "Come on. Sheil's and I want to go bowling." Pete pretended to gag at the display.

Eliot rolled his eyes but Jess could tell that he would cave. When Noddy leaned towards him and stage-whispered "so whipped" Jess and the others couldn't help but laugh.

"You're one to talk. Cheryl let you out, huh?" Eliot came back, starting an impromptu bout of roughhousing. Now it was Danica's turn to roll her eyes. Her seduction had been forgotten.

"Come on. This is Jess's night. He should decide what we do." Jason turned to him. "Whaddaya say Jess? My brother's in town. He could get us some brewskis."

Jess felt all eyes upon him. "Thanks Ace." Jess paused to think a moment. True, most of the time spent with his friends in the past had been about drinking. But then, Jess had been a troubled soul before. Now that Rory had shown an interest in him, he felt light as air. Jess didn't need to dull his senses; he was already high on Rory.

Jason narrowed his eyes at Jess's silence. "Don't turn me down, man!" he exclaimed incredulously.

"Bowling doesn't sound all that bad…" Jess really didn't want to get into trouble tonight.

"On a Friday night?" asked Noddy.

"Oh my God. What did that town do to you?" inquired Pete.

Jason chimed in. "No! Where did our Jess go?" He flailed his arms in the air. Turning to Jess, he added "You were always the master. No one could pull off a job like you! What the hell happened?" He was incredulous, but not mad.

"I'm still me. Just happier."

"Happier? Ugh!" Jason made the emotion sound hideous. Jason was always dramatic like that.

"How 'bout beers and then bowling?" Jess bargained with a smile. He didn't have to actually drink any of them.

"OK!" Jason was pacified. As long as beers were involved, Jason was game. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed his brother's number. "Hey Eric. How's about…" Jess tuned him out and smiled as their group headed for Eric's.

A couple hours later, the gang was ensconced in the East Village's Bowlmor Lanes, the sound of pins falling and people cheering surrounding them. Jess was in lane 34 along with Pete, Noddy and Sheila, while Jason, Eliot and Danica played a round in the adjoining lane 35. Jason's older brother Eric surprised them all by joining them for a few rounds. He evened out the lane 35 faction.

"Oooh! I can't believe I'm losing again!" wailed Danica. "I'm usually pretty good at bowling!"

"I don't suppose it has anything to do with the booze," replied Sheila with a wink.

Danica giggled. "You're right. I'm a little tipsy!" she said as she stumbled and fell into Eliot's lap.

While Pete was eyeing up his 7-10 split, Sheila turned to Jess and Noddy with a wicked grin. "She doesn't hold her liquor very well."

Jess and Noddy laughed in agreement. They had all had a bit to drink at Eric's, everyone but Sheila that is. She didn't drink and Jess admired her for it. Even Jess had had a couple beers, but two beers weren't enough to affect him, so he and Sheila held up the sober end of the spectrum. On the other hand, Danica was "tipsy" and Jason was sloshed. At that very moment Jason was standing on the ball return, his arms thrown back above his head. He was howling in excitement because he'd fluked out and gotten a strike.

Eric quickly pulled him down. "You want to get us kicked out, Nimrod?" he complained but he chuckled along with everyone else's laughter.

When they had had their fill of bowling and Sheila complained that her forearm was tired, they turned in their bowling shoes and stepped out into the night. It was only 10 o'clock so Jess suggested that they all go to Washington Square Park. Eric took off his own way, but the rest of them found themselves at Jess' favourite locale.

The effects of the alcohol were winding down, even in Jason and Danica, but that didn't stop the roughhousing and other such boisterous play. Jess was having a good time that night, being with his friends. He was glad, however, that the alcohol hadn't led to anything illegal. Not that they'd ever committed anything serious, only petty crimes and elaborate pranks out of boredom. His friends were good guys, perhaps a little rough around the edges but good nonetheless. A lot like Jess was. He wondered what Rory would think of these people. Hell, he wondered what Rory thought of him.

With a contented smile on his face, Jess slipped away from the group and sat down on a bench not too far away. He laughed uproariously as he watched Jason slip into the fountain with a thunderous sploosh. OK, he thought. Maybe the alcohol still had a hold on them.

When she noticed Jess's absence, Sheila came over and sat beside him. "Why are you so quiet tonight?"

"Thinkin'."

"You've changed. I couldn't believe it when you said you wanted to go bowling."

"Six months in the sticks will do that to a guy."

"I doubt that. I woulda thought it'd make you even more wild." She interrupted herself with a snicker. "God, Jace-Ace is drunk! Dani helps him out of the fountain and now he's making a pass at her!"

Jess laughed too. "Yeah well, Dani seems to be makin' the rounds herself," referring to her new affiliation with Eliot instead of Pete. "What's the 411 on that?"

"Oh that? Yeah, they've been together for a couple of months."

The two sat in companionable silence for a while, watching their friends' antics. They both chuckled when Danica caught sight of them and started singing "Sheil's and Jess, sittin' in a tree!" The others, even Jason who was still ringing out his shirt, chimed in with an R-rated version of the classic children's rhyme.

"Shut up, ya pack a losers!" called Sheila good-naturedly as she and Jess laughed again. Then she lowered her voice. "Yeah right. I bet you got a girlfriend in Stars Hollow."

"Ahhh…" answered Jess thoughtfully, a smile toying with his lips. He didn't think he could call Rory a girlfriend; at least not yet. He still had no idea where Dean fit into yesterday's equation. There was still so much going on inside Rory's head that Jess didn't know.

Sheila poked him in the ribs. "You do!" she exclaimed with glee. "Jessie's in love! I never thought I'd see the day."

Jess just smiled complacently. He'd read enough books to recognize the symptoms in himself: he had a suspicion Sheila was right.

***