RETURNING HOME, PART TWO

CHAPTER ONE. HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

***

A week or so later, Jess picked up a book from the desk, one of his own books. He flipped through it and wondered when Luke would discover him in the apartment above the Stars Hollow diner, all the while contemplating what he should say to Luke when he did. He didn't have long to ponder though. Just as Jess was flipping through the book he'd read many times before, he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. A moment later, as if right on cue, Luke strode through the door. Jess tossed the book back down on the desk.

"Hey," came Luke's startled response to seeing Jess there.

"Hey."

"How'd you get in here?"

"The door was open," Jess replied calmly, knowing full well that that wasn't exactly the question Luke was asking him.

"No, I mean, I was in the diner. I would've seen you come up the stairs… You know what, forget it, I don't wanna know. So, how's everything back home?"

"Fine," Jess replied without elaboration.

"Your mom?" Luke tried again, this time a look of slight expectant irritation marring his features.

Jess knew that he could offer Luke more information. He had, in fact, plenty to give, but as was his normal tendency in such uncomfortable situations, he kept his replies short. "Fine."

"You in trouble?"

"Nah."

Luke finally lost his impatience at Jess's one-syllable responses. "Then what the hell you doing here, Jess? You know, I, uh, I called you six times. Now I didn't expect you to call me back so we could sit on the phone in bed and watch Sleepless in Seattle together. I just expected you to call me back, say you got home, say no one mugged me on the bus, say you were OK."

Jess looked away. He hadn't thought Luke cared whether Jess phoned back or not. Maybe he had. Maybe Jess had misjudged the man, the same way that he had misjudged his mother. Thoughts of guilt tugged at his psyche, but he hid them by plastering a wall between him and his uncle.

Luke went on, "Say… you know what, never mind. Just tell me what it is you want. I got work to do."

Out of his entire trip back to Stars Hollow, this was the moment Jess had dreaded the most. Not meeting Luke's eyes, in fact looking at anything and everything but Luke, Jess mumbled. "I wanna come back."

"You what?" Jess snuck a look now and caught a look of disbelief as it crossed the older man's face.

Having already said it and now having to repeat it, Jess went on the offensive. "I want to come back," he said defiantly.

"Come back here?"

"Yes."

"Here to Stars Hollow?"

"Yes," Jess repeated with a hint of irritation.

"To live in this apartment with me?"

"I said yes a million times already."

"You know what, you're the one asking for something so you don't get to be James Dean this time, OK? Now, one more time, you wanna come back?" There was even more disbelief in Luke's last question than there had been on his face earlier.

Jess gritted his teeth and tried not to act too sarcastic. "Yes."

"Why?"

Jess didn't want to admit the real reason: since Rory had visited him, he had been filled with a little more hope for their relationship. Besides, relationship or not, being away from her was just too hard. "I just, I… I just wanna come back."

Something inside Luke snapped, thus giving rise to an outright rant. "You know what people told me when I said you were coming here to live with me? They told me I was crazy, they told me I was insane, they told me to start writing letters to Jodie Foster – but I ignored them. I was so sure that I knew what I was doing and then you showed up and you know what happened? You proved them right. I was crazy, and now after all that has happened, after all the chaos and havoc that you have wreaked, you're seriously standing there wearing a T-shirt with a picture of a butt with hands that are flipping me off, telling me you wanna come back?"

Geez, when did Luke get so lippy? If Jess hadn't been so worried that Luke would turn him away, he would've laughed out loud. He moved over to the bookshelf and tried to deflect the conversation's focus to Luke instead. "You didn't pack up my stuff yet."

"Uh, no, I've been a little busy," Luke said with a touch of his own sarcasm.

"When were you planning on sending it back to me?"

"What, hey, am I wearing a little brown uniform with UPS stamped on it?"

This quieted Jess. Suddenly he felt very serious. "So, what do you think?"

"Things are gonna have to be different, Jess," Luke answered, referring, Jess realized, to Jess's previous habit of pranks and petty thefts and his overall lack of initiative.

"I know," he agreed. Jess recognized that if he hadn't been such a rabble-rouser, Luke wouldn't have felt pressured to send him away in the first place. No. Things would be different, he knew. They had to be. Rory had come to New York for him. Even after all that had happened, she still cared; Jess was not going to risk screwing that up again.

"OK." Luke looked at him, with a caring expression.

"OK?" In genuine sincerity, Jess applied his most hopeful expression. Jess wasn't sure, but he thought it could very well have been the first genuine smile he'd ever revealed to Luke.

"So you're staying?"

"I'm staying."

"OK, then. Stay. I gotta get back to the diner." Luke turned away. His no-nonsense, business-as-usual face was back on.

"I'll help you close up later, all right?" Jess said as a measure of good will and good intentions. Luke paused, mid stride, the ledger book he'd meant to pick up forgotten in his surprise.

"Sure," Luke replied. As Jess made a move toward the apartment door, he put in, "She's not home."

Jess froze. He knew full well that Luke was referring to Rory; much as he hated to admit it, his uncle could read him like a book. Even still, Jess gritted his teeth again and, feigning innocence, asked "Who?"

"She's at Sookie's wedding with Dean, they're still together. They seem to have gotten through the whole car incident. They're doing really good, Dean and Rory."

Yeah, that's why she took a bus trip 125 miles both ways on the off chance she'd find me in the park! Jess inwardly mocked. Jess would be the first to admit he didn't know the whole story surrounding the little love triangle he was in, but then again, neither did Luke. "Good."

"Just leave it alone, Jess. She's got a boyfriend. Just let it go."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just going out for a walk." Irritation stiffened his shoulders; body language that was not unlike that of his mother, when Jess irritated her. Jess was shutting Luke out again. Jess had promised Luke that he would make a change; he now knew it was going to be a lot harder to change his personal tendencies than he had thought.

"You heard what I said?"

"Yeah, I heard what you said." Jess raised his voice, and moments later he was out the door.

***

No one was at the gazebo, as Jess stepped out of the diner, and the street down by the church looked fairly deserted. The wedding must be taking place at the Inn, he thought. Within minutes, Jess found himself down by the river heading towards the Independence Inn. As he drew near, he could indeed see the outdoor party in full swing. He stood on the outskirts where he couldn't be seen and watched the pageantry from afar.

He was looking for Rory, but as of yet, he hadn't seen her. By the piano, he saw Lane tapping out accompaniment with her drumsticks as Kirk belted out a song of some sort. Jess was thankful that the tune, or possible lack thereof, did not carry all the way to his ears. There were some things Jess could do without, and hearing Kirk singing was one of them. Another sweep of the crowd and he picked out Lorelai in a verbal sparring match with the freaky French guy who worked at the Inn. Moments later, he even saw Miss Patty, cocktail in hand, putting an arm around a startled Dean's tense shoulders. But Rory wasn't with any of them. Where is that girl?

Just as he was wondering that, he heard a couple of voices to his left that were much closer than those of the partygoers. Stealthily, Jess ducked unseen behind a tree and took a peek at the pair coming up the pathway. Jess smiled in relief as he finally set his sights on Rory. She was strolling towards him with someone Jess didn't recognize.

He stayed put and eavesdropped. From the words that drifted up towards him, he could make out just enough to indicate a close relationship between the two. Then Jess heard them mention Rory's mother and it all became clear. This was Rory's dad. He now recognized the man from pictures he'd seen on the Gilmore's mantle.

As the two passed him, heading further up the path, the trees no longer hid Jess. He followed them a little ways before he watched as they hugged and separated.

Rory was alone; now was his chance. And what a perfect chance it was. Jess allowed himself just a moment to gaze at the girl standing before him. She was wearing an attractive turquoise dress that set off the colour of her long cascading hair, hair by the way, which was pulled back and secured by a delicate sprig of flowers. In a word, she was beautiful. As she followed her father's departure with her eyes, her demeanour gave the impression of contentment, and Jess felt the same way just to look at her.

And then she turned and saw Jess, in the process acquiring an expression of gentle surprised pleasure, which caused Jess's breath to catch in his throat. She stood there a moment, seemingly poised on the brink of some unknown decision. For that brief moment, Jess grew slightly worried at what she would do, but his fears were abated as she started quickly towards him.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded in awe. Apparently Rory had none of the qualms about asking for his intentions as he'd had, in New York, about asking for hers.

"Hello to you, too."

"Is everything OK?"

"You look nice."

"Thank you. What are you doing here?" she asked again.

"I moved back."

"What?"

Rory's confused and worried expression made him lose a little bit of his confidence. "I moved back," he said with more reservation.

"But – what – why?"

Do I need to spell it out? Come on, you're a smart girl, he thought. But Jess couldn't bring himself to tell her how he felt, not with her looking as upset as she did right then. "Just wanted to."

He couldn't read the expression on her face. He almost didn't want to read the expression: her eyebrows were scrunched up into a look of torture; her body shuddered with a deep, resigning breath. And here, all this time since her visit to him, he had thought she wanted him to come back. Now Jess was beginning to have doubts. Maybe she really had just come to say goodbye to him. The realization sent his heart into a downward spiral. Jess almost wished he could take his declaration back; wished he was back home in New York, daydreaming about the perfect day he and Rory had shared there.

But then it happened. In a moment that both stretched across lifetimes and was over in a blink of an eye, Rory dashed towards him. He felt her arms slip around his waist, making him delirious, her urgency almost throwing him off-balance. Then he felt the softness of her lips make contact with his own.

The kiss was both delicate and passionate, enough to erase all doubts about her happiness to see him. It took Jess a split second to put everything else out of his mind and lose himself in the kiss. Placing a hand to her cheek and snaking the other around her waist, he returned and deepened the kiss, his knees made weak by the sweet natural scent of her skin and the berry taste of her lips, her arms around his waist a delicious pleasure. All at once, the urge to feel her body next to him was overpowering. Head spinning, Jess made a move to place both his hands on the small of her back, meaning to draw her near.

Already though, she was slipping away from him, finally pushing herself away with force. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed as she turned away from him. "Oh my God!" she wailed again.

It was the moment when your alarm clock wakes you from a perfect dream. He wished he could hit the snooze button and make the experience come back. "Rory," he pleaded.

"Don't say a word!"

The words chilled him. He'd wanted to shout it to the world that Rory Gilmore had kissed him. It hurt a bit to see that she was so obviously distressed by that which had elated him. Disappointed, when he should have been overjoyed, Jess replied the only way he knew how. "OK."

If she wanted to keep it a secret, he would abide by her wishes.

"I have to go." And she began to run away then, heading back towards the wedding. Before she got too far away, she turned and added "Oh, welcome home!"

Jess wasn't sure what had just happened. What was it Luke had said about Rory and Dean? That they had worked it all out? At least Luke didn't know what he was talking about.

***

The next afternoon, Jess was wiping off tables in the diner. He was still enrolled at Stars Hollow High, as he had never been formally withdrawn, but he'd skipped that day. Luke was, of course, upset that Jess had skipped, but Jess had helped him out with the busy lunch shift and had somehow managed to avoid too much of a lecture.

Jess couldn't have focused on his studies, even if he'd tried. All the night before, he'd been thinking about that kiss, feeling hot and bothered every time he remembered the feel of Rory's silky lips tasting his own. Jess could barely concentrate on anything else. In this state the only thing he was useful for was bussing tables.

Luke had brought up Dean again when Jess returned to help him close up the diner. From all that Luke had said, Jess could have sworn Dean and Rory were still a couple. But how did that fit in with the kiss? The answer was that it quite simply didn't. All day, he'd been thinking of Rory, wondering what the kiss had meant to her, wondering what was going on inside that pretty little confused head of hers.

This was precisely what was running through his mind, for approximately the 53rd time, when, at shortly after 4:00, Jess heard the jingle of the door chimes. He looked up from where he was rinsing a table to see Lorelai enter the room. She stopped dead when she saw Jess there. He raised an eyebrow and gave her a salute. She narrowed her eyes at him and wordlessly continued over to the counter.

As he watched her take a seat on a stool, Jess noticed something with surprise: normally Luke, being so completely and obviously infatuated with Lorelai, would have gone over immediately to serve her. Today, however, despite having seen her there, he ignored her and continued bickering with Taylor – a man he despised, no less - about the potted plants on the boulevard of Peach Street. Jess observed that Lorelai also wasn't her usual loud, boisterous self. She just sat there, with eyes that looked bleary and bloodshot, lips that looked drawn and tired, looking down at the purse on her lap, waiting.

Finally, his uncle went over to Lorelai and without making chitchat, took her order. "What'll you have?"

"Coffee. To go."

Jess avidly watched this verbal exchange as his hands, on autopilot, continued to wipe a table over and over.

Pouring Lorelai a large coffee, Luke placed it in front of her with indifference, nearly driving the paper cup an inch into the countertop's surface in the process. He said, "All the quicker death to you."

Jess almost dropped a saltshaker in astonishment. It was normal for Luke to nag Lorelai about how much she drank coffee, and about how it was bad for her health, but this time his comment had a much harder edge. Jess saw that his uncle's comment had an effect on Lorelai as well. Her shoulders stiff and her eyes distraught, she tossed some money on the counter and was out the door with her coffee in a flash.

"What was that?"

"Never you mind Jess."

Jess ignored Luke's request. He had to know. "What's going on? Are you and Lorelai fighting?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It's complicated," Luke muttered as he turned to avoid Jess's piercing gaze. Jess had a good idea what had happened, and the idea sickened him.

Following Luke into the kitchen, Jess stepped around Caesar who was about to serve a plate of food. Alone with Luke, Jess asked, "Are you fighting with her because of the car accident?"

Luke tensed. "Jess I said not to-"

"Just tell me."

"Alright yes, that is when we started fighting. But please don't ask me to go into details."

"OK." Oh, man I guess that means Lorelai hates me for sure now. The odds of Rory leaving Dean for Jess just got a little steeper.

"Tomorrow you're going to school." Luke said, nimbly changing the subject.

Jess, feeling deflated, readily gave in to the subject-change. "I've already flunked out anyway. There's only a week left. I'll take summer school." Jess tossed his washcloth across the room toward the sink. With disgust, he watched as the rag hit the countertop and rebounded to the floor.

"Oh. Surely there's something you passed. What about English?"

"Well I am able to speak it fluently but apparently that's not enough."

"Tomorrow you're going to school."

"Fine."

***