That evening the family sat down to dinner in an expectant mood. Reese had informed them earlier that he had some big news to tell them, and judging by the excited tone of his voice it was something they were going to want to hear, unlike his usual reports about how much detention he had got and whom he had beaten up this week.

'So Reese, what's this important thing you have to tell us?' asked Hal as he took his usual seat at the head of the table. 'This all looks delicious honey' he added to Lois as he regarded the food in front of them, in a lame attempt to make up for their earlier fight. Lois was unmoved.

'I think we're all intrigued to know what Reese has to say' she said, 'so come on, spill the beans' she added to Reese.

'Well, I wanted to wait until we were all together to tell you' began Reese as he transferred a mountain of mashed potato onto his plate. 'You remember when I was on the school wrestling team a couple of years ago. I was doing my bit for the school and it felt good, people were proud of me, well I miss that. That's why I decided to try out for the football team.' He looked at Malcolm as he said this, remembering their earlier conversation. It was true that this was not the main reason for him trying out, as Malcolm well knew, but it had certainly been a factor. Malcolm nodded in agreement, understanding what Reese had meant by the look.

Lois and Hal on the other hand both looked momentarily stunned. The idea of Reese actively seeking to 'do his bit for the school' was so dramatically out of character that they were temporarily speechless. Lois recovered first.

'Well how did it go? Did you make the team?' she said enthusiastically, but slightly too late. Reese said nothing, a slightly bemused look creeping across his face.

'Come on son, don't keep us in suspense' added Hal light-heartedly, attempting to salvage the situation.

'As a matter of fact I did make the team' said Reese a little bitterly. 'The Coach said I was one of the most promising players he'd ever seen. Not that you seem to care that much.'

'Of course we care honey' said Lois immediately, 'and that's fantastic news! Congratulations! We were just a little surprised that's all. I mean this was completely out of the blue. We didn't even know you liked football.'

'Like it?' said Reese emphatically. 'I get to wear a ton of padding and then pound on people, how could I not like it' he added happily. Malcolm and Dewey said nothing, both looking a little bit shocked by this turn of events.

'Well I'm very proud of you son' said Hal in a slightly choked voice. 'You know I played a little football too in high school, I was a quarterback actually, and not a bad one either. They used to call me 'Shotgun Hal,' God, those were the days.' His face took on a slightly dreamy complexion as he remembered his past glories.

Reese still couldn't believe how easy it had been. Once he'd started playing it just felt so natural, as if he had been doing it for years. Of course he was well suited to the game, being physically strong and also benefiting from the aggression that came from years of bullying. Once he got out there on that field he had taken to football like a duck to water, and he had been an instant success with his team-mates as well. For once all the pieces of his life were falling into place at once, like a jigsaw whose picture was finally revealed. All except one piece which still alluded him, and to him it was the most important piece of all - Delilah. He had thought about her a great deal that day. Even when he had been on the football field immersed in the game she had still been on his mind. His very own albatross round his neck. He sighed as he though of her once more.

Hal's voice brought him abruptly back to reality. 'What position did they put you in Reese?' he asked with interest. 'I would have you down as somewhere on defence myself.' He looked at Reese thoughtfully. 'Yes, definitely defence.'

'Nice guess dad. I'm a defensive back, so basically it's my job to cream the guy who's running with the ball' Reese said keenly, 'and I get to have the occasional crack at the quarterback as well, maybe get an interception, it's a great position.' At the other end of the table Hal was looking at him with astonishment, surprised by his knowledge of the game. 'It's amazing how much you can learn about a sport in one afternoon if you really put your mind to it' Reese added, seeing the look that Hal was giving him.

'Well, if you ever need some pointers' Hal said eventually, 'you only need to ask. I'm happy to give you the benefit of my experience, although it sounds like you have it pretty well covered.'

'Thanks dad' said Reese, smiling at his father, 'I appreciate that.' Hal beamed back at him.

'So Reese' said Lois proudly from the other end of the table, 'when's your first game. I think we're all eager to see you in action.'

'Well you won't have to wait very long - we have a game this Saturday against Princeville High' replied Reese excitedly. 'They're one of the best teams in the district so if we beat them it'll really improve our reputation.'

'This Saturday, well that's great' said Lois. 'We can all come and watch you. I just wish Francis was around to hear the big news. It's a shame he's out tonight, he would have been really proud of you. I bet he'll be looking forward to the game when he finds out. You know he tried out for the football team when he was in Junior High, but he didn't make it.' Malcolm and Dewey's ears pricked up as they sensed an embarrassing story about Francis. 'I think they said something about him being too weak' continued Lois. At this Malcolm and Dewey both sniggered. Lois gave them a warning glance which shut them up immediately. She could say more with her eyes than most people could manage by raising their voice and shouting.

Whilst the excitement and pride at Reese's announcement had made Hal and Lois temporarily forget their fight, now it was time for it to rear its ugly head once more. Lois sensed a chance to humiliate Hal. 'That sure was a kick in the teeth for you wasn't in Hal?' she said unpleasantly, 'putting all that effort into grooming Francis to follow in your footsteps and play football and then him being comprehensively rejected like that.' It was clear that the fight from earlier had by no means blown over. Hal looked positively furious, and had begun to go very red in the face.

'And thank you so much for reminding me about that Lois' he replied sarcastically. 'And maybe if you hadn't been such an abject failure at disciplining the boy he wouldn't have grown up into a rebellious thug.' Lois glared at him. It was amazing how fast the mood in the room had changed, but that was only to be expected from this family. They were an argument waiting to happen.

'Kids, could you leave the room please, your father and I need to have a discussion' said Lois slowly, a murderous glint in her eye. The boys knew better than to argue with her when she was in this mood, and in an instant they were gone, dashing for the safety of their bedroom.

Hal braced himself for the onslaught.

***

It was later in the evening. Francis had returned from whatever social engagement he had been attending and was really excited to hear Reese's news. Lois and Hal had finished their fight and retired to separate rooms to cool off. The house had a peaceful air to it for once, like the calm after an earthquake or a volcanic eruption. The damage had already been done.

Reese and Dewey sat watching TV in the living room, an almost trance-like look on their faces as they stared at the screen. In the bedroom however, Malcolm and Francis were far from relaxed as they discussed what to do about Richie and the gang. To date they had managed to avoid them through a combination of careful planning and luck, but this could not go on forever. Sooner or later they would have to face them, and it would most likely be sooner.

'I'm telling you it's just no good' Francis said animatedly. 'They have us outnumbered three to two, so if it comes to a fight they're sure to win.' He sighed exasperatedly as he tried to think of some way the two of them could tackle Richie, Justin and Circus all at once.

'What if we make sure it never gets as far as that?' Malcolm said thoughtfully. Francis looked at him with interest.

'I'm listening,' he said.

'I may have a way we can totally humiliate them, so much so that they won't even think about coming after us again. I'm talking hundreds of people laughing at them. They'll never show their faces in public again.'

'What's the plan?' asked Francis, warming to the idea. Malcolm considered this for a moment, thinking back to his earlier conversation with Stevie' 'Yes that would work' he thought to himself.

'A skunk bomb' he said eventually.

'A skunk bomb?' said Francis incredulously. 'Are you serious?' he looked at Malcolm in amazement.

'Always' replied Malcolm. 'Stevie was telling me about it earlier, all you have to do is fill a balloon with concentrated thiols and acetate derivatives, the chemical components of skunk spray, and you have yourself a skunk bomb. If we throw one of those at Richie and the guys then they'll stink of skunk for weeks.' Malcolm grinned as he considered this. 'We have all the chemicals I'll need to make it in the science lab at school, it'll be easy.'

Francis's face had lit up as he heard the details of Malcolm's plan. It was just what they were looking for - an easy way to get those morons off their backs and teach them a lesson they so richly deserved to boot. 'I think it's winning' he said. 'The only question is where do we do it? It needs to be some sort of public place with crowds, where it'll draw the most attention, but where we can also easily make a quick getaway if necessary.'

'Simple' said Malcolm smugly, 'we do it at Reese's game on Saturday. Plenty of people and lots of good hiding places.'

'But how do we know they'll be at the game?' Francis asked thoughtfully.

'They'll be at the game because they know we'll be at the game' replied Malcolm simply.

Francis grinned. 'Okay, here's what we'll do' he said with a commanding air. 'You get on with the manufacturing, you'd better make several bombs just to be safe, but be really careful with them - we don't want you smelling like skunk!' Malcolm chuckled at this. 'I'll head over and case the football stadium tomorrow. I'll try and work out some way we can do this quickly and effectively. Those guys won't know what hit them.'

'Got it' replied Malcolm. 'Now let's go and watch some TV.' Francis nodded, and they headed into the living room to join Reese and Dewey on the sofa.

***

Hal crept into the bedroom. It was late so he was fairly certain that Lois would be asleep, but you could never be too careful. He changed into his pyjamas and then tiptoed into the bathroom to get ready for bed. On the way back he switched the light off and then pushed the flusher on the toilet as he did every night. Nothing happened. He pushed it again. Still nothing. 'God Damnit!' he exclaimed. 'What's wrong with this hunk of junk now?'

'Just leave it alone for five minutes and then maybe it'll be more eager to flush' called Lois irritably. She had obviously been woken up by Hal's cry.

'It's a toilet Lois' said Hal, stepping into the bedroom, 'you shouldn't have to outwit it, it should just work!' He sighed. 'You know we can't go on like this, snapping at each other, trying to get one over on each other, humiliating each other. Sooner or later we have to make up.' He went over to the bed and sat down beside Lois.

'You're right Hal' she replied. 'Maybe I was a little snappy earlier, and that thing with Francis was just cruel.'

'And maybe I did overreact a little about Craig' said Hal in reply, 'but you know I'm only trying to protect you.'

'Oh Hal, of course I know that' said Lois resignedly. 'Let's just put all of this behind us. It's a stupid fight about stupid insignificant stuff, we're bigger than that. And I'll call the plumber in the morning to get that damn toilet fixed.'

'Sounds good' replied Hal, smiling. 'You know with all our arguing we've completely forgotten about Reese' he said, getting into bed. 'Do you know how proud I am to finally see him doing something constructive with his life?'

'I sure do honey' replied Lois sleepily, 'I sure do.'