The Glass Illusion
Takes place during "Attack of the clones", a Anakin and Padme fanfiction of course, and concentrates more about their thoughts. Thoughts that they'll never forget. For example what they thought when they saw each other. I wrote this story because I thought that the book and movie didn't explain so much why Padme and Anakin fell in love. This story is therefore more about their feelings and what they think of each other and the persons that surround them
Chapter 3
I have always taken my future for granted, my life. Not obvious of the threats and occasions that could have ended my time, that could have destroyed others in the process. Somehow I have never been able to see what which many people have assured me. My eyes didn't go that far...I think that they still don't.
I have always been sure about myself, my dreams my goals that I created in an early age, though I now know that I was indeed to young. All the things that I wanted to achieve was in a near reach for me, that's how I saw it... and see it still.
Some desires, dreams are my moral support, they are what always make me relax or comforts me when my beloved are not near. They are what I call my time of escape, my way of disappearing for a while. They are a safe net, something I'd built when I became conscious of what surrounded me when I returned home. What I grew up with, what I've now lost.
I know that I can come back, but it's not the same, though I now have a different lifestyle. Deep in my heart I know that those dreams are impossible for me to achieve . I have always known it.
But as I think about it now, escaping from myself, I can't help thinking how it would be living in those dreams. I shake my head in protest, forbidding myself of thinking about that here, now, when I'm in a run from what I call my life, having my dearest friend playing what could cost her life, my grandest achievement threatening to be destroyed... it's impossible to think about that now.
I turn my head slightly noticing several human beings in the ship, but the majority are species from other galaxies. I sort of notice a little boy who is looking at me from a small distance. He is holding his mother's hand, who is talking with a species who I think by the looks come from the planet Angora, in the Legoea galaxy.
My eyes dart on this boy's face, whose eyes glow of a light shade colour of blue. His hair has been rather rough cut. He has a blue vest and matching trousers, but what captivates me most are the eyes. His mother pass by my eyes, not under my interest.
I look down at my hands, I'm ashamed to recognise it... but somehow my gaze is afraid to meet this little boy's. I feel an ache in my heart, why I don't know. Maybe he makes me remember something I can never have. Maybe he is just an old picture from my past...
My thoughts are interrupted my small sounds, from the small bed, next to the table I'm sitting at. Within a second I raise up, the golden dress with several shades of yellow and casual forms of squares, trails behind me as I walk up to my guardian, who I haven't met for ten years. Ten long years, which makes me remember how old I have become since the last time I saw him.
I see that he is sweating, and he is mumbling a name, which I can't put my finger on where I have heard it. I put my hand over his forehead, brushing away his hair smoothly. Somehow my eyes betray me in this very moment, and what I see instead of this twenty year old young man, is a little nine year old boy, who is cold, who is afraid of what might come. Whose heart and life has been ripped out from his home.
Somehow he makes me remember of myself.
I whisper soothing words, not too close to his ears, and not too far from his face. I comfort him how I had wished to be comfort many times.
Suddenly he opens his eyes, his hole soul open before my eyes and what I see are two pools of blue water, sinking in my gaze, slowly. I can see a hint of surprise in his face, I see pain and sorrow, ... and I also see something more... but what it is I can't define.
I move away, suddenly afraid.
He sits up, waiting for an answer, or perhaps a question. But what I do is walk up to my chair, sitting on it, feeling his blue eyes piercing on me.
"You were having a nightmare", I say, turning my attention to the piping blue droid, R2D2, who hands me a bowl of soup.
Anakin doesn't give me a straight answer, he keeps quiet, and eventually sits down on the chair in front of me. I lower my eyes... understanding that this is a subject he wishes not to discuss about.
"Are you hungry?", I ask instead, smiling at him.
He nodes his head, rubbing away sleep from his eyes. That simply gesture captivates my attention somehow... as I stare at him, at his face, his mouth, his eyes... this is not Anakin Skywalker... it couldn't be.
"I look forward to seeing Naboo again. It's by far the most beautiful place I've ever seen.", he says, closing his eyes as if seeing my dear planet before his eyes, breathing in a sentence which I cannot smell...
"You were just a little boy then it may not be as you remember it," I say, taking a spoon of the warm soup." ....time changes your perception"
Anakin looks at me, a look which makes me feel uncomfortable, the same gaze he gave me in Couruscant when we first met, the same gaze he gave me in private in my apartment with only my handmaid as an audience. A gaze which shows all his emotions all at once... and I wonder....Isn't he afraid of showing his soul so openly?
"Time has given me more mature feelings to enhance my perception", he answers, searching for my eyes, for a connection, but I keep them on the soup, my hands, everywhere except for his blue eyes.
"It must be difficult having sworn your life to the Jedi...", I say, in attempt to break the silence that somehow has crept behind us, surrounding us and making me feel as if I'm trapped in a dungeon and may never come out..."...not being able to visit the places you like... or do the things you like..."
"...or be with the people I love", he adds, leaning over the table, forcing me to look at him.
"Are you allowed to love?", I reply quickly, taking him by surprise, " I thought that was forbidding for a Jedi"
He leans back, giving me a crooked smile, his eyes clouded somehow." Attachment I forbidden. Possession if forbidden", he sighs, looks down at his hand, just to raise his eyes and meeting mine." Compassion which I would describe as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi's life, so you might say that we're encouraged to love.
I shake my head slowly, lowering my eyes once again." You've change so much".
"You haven't changed a bit", he responds, with a shield of energy by every word he pronounces, making me somehow....nervous." You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams...", his words pacing down to a bare whisper.
I do not dare to say anything. I do not dare to raise my head, afraid of meeting something that I don't want to see, but what he obviously wants me to notice... or does he? What is to notice when nothing is revealed, nothing to base your suspicion on?
He is just a boy.
At that moment I turn my head to the little person from a small distance, who still is looking at me from his blue eyes, so much like the colour of the young man in front of me. His very young face, smiling.
I forget my fear, my past, and smile back at this little boy. No words are needed at this moment. But my smile dismiss when his mother takes him roughly by the hand and walks away with him.
My gaze return to my now cold soup. And I still don't look up.
To be continue....
So dear readers, thank you for the reviews, and I will indeed appreciate if you when reading this chapter review.....please, please, please....you don't know how much I love reviews!!!!!!
REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!! It doesn't take much time....review if you liked it...or not...
Takes place during "Attack of the clones", a Anakin and Padme fanfiction of course, and concentrates more about their thoughts. Thoughts that they'll never forget. For example what they thought when they saw each other. I wrote this story because I thought that the book and movie didn't explain so much why Padme and Anakin fell in love. This story is therefore more about their feelings and what they think of each other and the persons that surround them
Chapter 3
I have always taken my future for granted, my life. Not obvious of the threats and occasions that could have ended my time, that could have destroyed others in the process. Somehow I have never been able to see what which many people have assured me. My eyes didn't go that far...I think that they still don't.
I have always been sure about myself, my dreams my goals that I created in an early age, though I now know that I was indeed to young. All the things that I wanted to achieve was in a near reach for me, that's how I saw it... and see it still.
Some desires, dreams are my moral support, they are what always make me relax or comforts me when my beloved are not near. They are what I call my time of escape, my way of disappearing for a while. They are a safe net, something I'd built when I became conscious of what surrounded me when I returned home. What I grew up with, what I've now lost.
I know that I can come back, but it's not the same, though I now have a different lifestyle. Deep in my heart I know that those dreams are impossible for me to achieve . I have always known it.
But as I think about it now, escaping from myself, I can't help thinking how it would be living in those dreams. I shake my head in protest, forbidding myself of thinking about that here, now, when I'm in a run from what I call my life, having my dearest friend playing what could cost her life, my grandest achievement threatening to be destroyed... it's impossible to think about that now.
I turn my head slightly noticing several human beings in the ship, but the majority are species from other galaxies. I sort of notice a little boy who is looking at me from a small distance. He is holding his mother's hand, who is talking with a species who I think by the looks come from the planet Angora, in the Legoea galaxy.
My eyes dart on this boy's face, whose eyes glow of a light shade colour of blue. His hair has been rather rough cut. He has a blue vest and matching trousers, but what captivates me most are the eyes. His mother pass by my eyes, not under my interest.
I look down at my hands, I'm ashamed to recognise it... but somehow my gaze is afraid to meet this little boy's. I feel an ache in my heart, why I don't know. Maybe he makes me remember something I can never have. Maybe he is just an old picture from my past...
My thoughts are interrupted my small sounds, from the small bed, next to the table I'm sitting at. Within a second I raise up, the golden dress with several shades of yellow and casual forms of squares, trails behind me as I walk up to my guardian, who I haven't met for ten years. Ten long years, which makes me remember how old I have become since the last time I saw him.
I see that he is sweating, and he is mumbling a name, which I can't put my finger on where I have heard it. I put my hand over his forehead, brushing away his hair smoothly. Somehow my eyes betray me in this very moment, and what I see instead of this twenty year old young man, is a little nine year old boy, who is cold, who is afraid of what might come. Whose heart and life has been ripped out from his home.
Somehow he makes me remember of myself.
I whisper soothing words, not too close to his ears, and not too far from his face. I comfort him how I had wished to be comfort many times.
Suddenly he opens his eyes, his hole soul open before my eyes and what I see are two pools of blue water, sinking in my gaze, slowly. I can see a hint of surprise in his face, I see pain and sorrow, ... and I also see something more... but what it is I can't define.
I move away, suddenly afraid.
He sits up, waiting for an answer, or perhaps a question. But what I do is walk up to my chair, sitting on it, feeling his blue eyes piercing on me.
"You were having a nightmare", I say, turning my attention to the piping blue droid, R2D2, who hands me a bowl of soup.
Anakin doesn't give me a straight answer, he keeps quiet, and eventually sits down on the chair in front of me. I lower my eyes... understanding that this is a subject he wishes not to discuss about.
"Are you hungry?", I ask instead, smiling at him.
He nodes his head, rubbing away sleep from his eyes. That simply gesture captivates my attention somehow... as I stare at him, at his face, his mouth, his eyes... this is not Anakin Skywalker... it couldn't be.
"I look forward to seeing Naboo again. It's by far the most beautiful place I've ever seen.", he says, closing his eyes as if seeing my dear planet before his eyes, breathing in a sentence which I cannot smell...
"You were just a little boy then it may not be as you remember it," I say, taking a spoon of the warm soup." ....time changes your perception"
Anakin looks at me, a look which makes me feel uncomfortable, the same gaze he gave me in Couruscant when we first met, the same gaze he gave me in private in my apartment with only my handmaid as an audience. A gaze which shows all his emotions all at once... and I wonder....Isn't he afraid of showing his soul so openly?
"Time has given me more mature feelings to enhance my perception", he answers, searching for my eyes, for a connection, but I keep them on the soup, my hands, everywhere except for his blue eyes.
"It must be difficult having sworn your life to the Jedi...", I say, in attempt to break the silence that somehow has crept behind us, surrounding us and making me feel as if I'm trapped in a dungeon and may never come out..."...not being able to visit the places you like... or do the things you like..."
"...or be with the people I love", he adds, leaning over the table, forcing me to look at him.
"Are you allowed to love?", I reply quickly, taking him by surprise, " I thought that was forbidding for a Jedi"
He leans back, giving me a crooked smile, his eyes clouded somehow." Attachment I forbidden. Possession if forbidden", he sighs, looks down at his hand, just to raise his eyes and meeting mine." Compassion which I would describe as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi's life, so you might say that we're encouraged to love.
I shake my head slowly, lowering my eyes once again." You've change so much".
"You haven't changed a bit", he responds, with a shield of energy by every word he pronounces, making me somehow....nervous." You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams...", his words pacing down to a bare whisper.
I do not dare to say anything. I do not dare to raise my head, afraid of meeting something that I don't want to see, but what he obviously wants me to notice... or does he? What is to notice when nothing is revealed, nothing to base your suspicion on?
He is just a boy.
At that moment I turn my head to the little person from a small distance, who still is looking at me from his blue eyes, so much like the colour of the young man in front of me. His very young face, smiling.
I forget my fear, my past, and smile back at this little boy. No words are needed at this moment. But my smile dismiss when his mother takes him roughly by the hand and walks away with him.
My gaze return to my now cold soup. And I still don't look up.
To be continue....
So dear readers, thank you for the reviews, and I will indeed appreciate if you when reading this chapter review.....please, please, please....you don't know how much I love reviews!!!!!!
REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!! It doesn't take much time....review if you liked it...or not...