The Glass Illusion
Takes place during "Attack of the clones", a Anakin and Padme fanfiction of course, and concentrates more about their thoughts. Thoughts that they'll never forget. For example what they thought when they saw each other. I wrote this story because I thought that the book and movie didn't explain so much why Padme and Anakin fell in love. This story is therefore more about their feelings and what they think of each other and the persons that surround them
Chapter 4
*~* ~*
When I was a child I remember that I used to feel safe as long as I had the love of my mother, her comfort, her presence. I used to breath in her sentence and curl in her lap, dozing of into peaceful dream, knowing that she'll be there when I wake up. How she used to caress my face and sing a lullaby, even though I was nine years old and too old.
I loved the way she would always care for me, how she would worry when Watto punished me when I forgot to clean the Drumhill speed or when I lost in the Pod Race when competing, always with a strong wish to win... to be admired and forget for a moment that I was a slave, a property of someone. I used to imagine her furrowed forehead when I was flying away in the desert, in fast speed avoiding blocks of rocks and the cheap tricks that Sebulba always played with. And I remember that I used to smile as she hug me after coming back, safe, and making me promise her that I would never race anymore.
But it wasn't in my position to decide that. It was Watto, and that's the only reason why I was quite pleased to have him as my master.
"Master", I never called him by that name. And as far as I know my mother didn't either. Even though she had been a slave her hole life, she was too proud to lower down to that level.
How I truly loved my mother, and I still do, though I'm far away from her. I love her still... and miss her. I still remember that painful day when I left her behind, not once looking back though she had pleaded me to not do so. And I did. With tears running along my cheeks I stared right forward, at the tall shape of the man who freed me... who torn me away from my mother. But it was my decision.
I know it.
So all this years I've tried to look forward, to not look back once, trying to forget my past, my time as a slave. But my mother's face is still a vivid memory in my mind though , a memory which I never wish to forget. Never.
I close my eyes, as the dream I had dreamt constantly this past days plays before my head, as a nightmare which I'm incapable to prevent, a nightmare with an approaching end.
I keep seeing her, my mother, I feel her pain, her sorrow, her agony...but most of all the one thing that captivates me the most, what makes my heart stop it's beating, what makes me even stop breathing, the last thing I hear before I wake up screaming is when I hear her, through gritted teeth of pain but with a love so obvious through the clouded painful eyes, say ; "I love you Ani, always remember that"
"Ani?", a smooth voice says with concern, as my thoughts about my mother vanish away in the mild Naboo breezing. I open my eyes and before them I see her, sitting in front of me, looking at me with narrowed eyes. I look at her... and her gaze wanders away to one of the mountains that raise behind us with all it's green decoration.
Every time I see her my heart suddenly begins to bump fast, I won't deny it, and I remain still, wondering, as all my previous worries disappear. My mind gets blocked, I'm not longer able to think, my mouth gets dry, my lips are no longer able to speak, and all I see and feel is her. Does she even know what kind of influence she has on me?
"Are you all right?", she asks, looking over the lake with it's many shapes, though it reflects the beautiful environment that encloses us from everywhere. Not even once glancing at my direction.
"The view is fantastic", I say instead, turning my head to the shimmering blue water that surrounds us and the trees and flowers, as I breath in their senses."... I had almost forgotten that everywhere you went you could still smell the sense of roses...."
She nods, turning her head and avoiding my eyes. Something she's done every time I say something and look at her. Not that it matters to me, though it only gives me the opportunity to observe her face, her every move.
Her picture before my eyes is pierced in my mind, a part of the many memories I collected when being in early age and shall never forget about. Memories which I took out when I felt lonely, every time my heart ached. She has been my saviour. Does she know that?
She has a floating strapless dress, pale white pacing of into soft pink. Her beautiful hair is drawn back. She smiles at me, when the lake retreat raise before us, and for the first time since we came to Naboo she dares to meet my eyes.
"How I have missed this place", she whispers, looking over to the magnificent building that stands over a blooming hill, as the sun slowly goes down over the horizon, it's light melting with the bright colourful blue sky, burning with all it's fire as red and purple streaks disperse all over.
I do not dare to say anything, afraid of destroying the magical moment that passes before my eyes.
The boat, stops by a small shore where a handmaiden is waiting. Padme is anxious to get off, her happy face shining like a thousand suns all together. I jump off, almost falling over though I want to reach out my hand for her to take it when she goes off, before the driver does it.
My heart almost breaks in two, as I when turning around, see her kiss the old and shabby man on the forehead and thanking him for the wonderful trip. Somehow that innocent gesture feels like as if two iron hands have taken my heart in a tight grip and crush it with all it's mighty power.
I look away. Forgetting that it wanted to take her hand.
The handmaiden asks me something as I try to ignore the previous sight, I don't captivate much of what she says, but it was obliviously something about the bags since without another more word she takes hold of the two simple packages and goes away with them.
"Ani", Padme says, making me to turn to her, and quickly I forget my feelings of sadness and anger, as I gaze at the divine creature." Do you want to look around?"
I nod my head, following her small figure as she begins to walk. I follow her, reaching up and walking beside her. Somehow my mind tells me to think about something to talk about, but my lack of words at that moment prevents me from doing it.
All I see is her. And she doesn't even notice it.
"When I was in Level Three," Padme begins, looking right forward at the balustrade with the view over the lake", we used to come here for school retreat. See that island? We used to swim there every day. I love the water."
"I do too", I say, clearing my throat and forcing myself to look away from her" I guess it comes from growing up in a desert planet."
Padme doesn't comment on the irony of my voice. She's still smiling, as if she has forgotten that I'm walking beside her, it's as if she's seeing memories in front of her, good memories, happy memories of her life as a child. A life were I'm not included.
She leans over the balustrade and points at the small island, as I take my place beside her, feeling a deep desire to come nearer, though I do not dare. "There it is..."
She keeps smiling, as I turn to see her clearer. She isn't obvious of my presence, so I let my eyes wander over her delightful face slowly. Feeling dazed, as if I was in a lovely dream I never wish to wake up from.
"We used to lie down on the sand and let the sun dry us, feeling it's warmth, feeling life.living.", she whispers, looking over the shimmering lake. A blank expression covering her eyes.
"Life isn't only about living", I say harshly, making her to turn to me. She looks at me and sees perhaps the pain in my eyes, as I look into hers and see what she so many times has tried to hide. Herself. " The sun doesn't shine for everyone.Life is about suffer, responsibility, sorrow, loss."
She looks down, perhaps my words wounded her, made her think who she was, where she was.
".and that isn't living", my words pace off, as I look away, trying to calm down the empty feeling of loss deep in my heart. To let it suffocate, but I can still hear her words, soothingly whispering " I love you Ani, always remember that" and despite my great desire of finally being here, in this place with a beloved memory from my past, vivid beside me, I feel guilt, pure guilt.it isn't fair.it is just not fair.
I feel soft fingers caress my face, the warmth of the fingertips slowly tracing down to my chest, where my heart beats fast, my mouth not able to speak, as I gaze into the bowed head, who gently touches the very deep of my soul.
"Anakin", she whispers, looking deep into my eyes, her own with a film of tears". a part of living is to feel, to see, to remember. to choose your path in life, accepting your destiny, your past.living."
I take the small hand in mine, slowly, as I gently grip it tighter. Somehow I feel like the same unsecured little boy, crying on a beloved's shoulder, crying for his recently loss, crying for the new path that has been planted in his life, crying for the reason of being lost.
I close my eyes, feeling the smooth fingers caress my face, it's a friendly touch, an innocent gesture, she knows it, even though I feel through the force the grand hesitation in her soul.. she knows that I am no longer a little boy.
I turn my head slightly, wishing that she won't walk back. I still feel the soft skin beneath my fingers, though I still hold my hand over hers. And that is when I slowly and trembling press my dry lips to the smooth palm, with still closed eyes, afraid of seeing fear or devastation in her eyes, as my heart bumps even faster.
Her words do not ever come out, it is as if the slight mild breezing caught them in thin air. I dare to open my eyes, but when I meet her gaze as she keeps staring me with narrowed eyes, she yanks away her hand, as if she has been burned. and turn away her two windows into her soul from me.
"I'm sorry", I whisper hoarsely, as I back away. Reality surrounding me from everywhere.
"Don't be", she answers, not looking at my direction. "Don't be Anakin, don't be"
I turn around and go, hearing the footsteps of my feet on the ground go faster, finding myself running. Running away from something that has opened a forbidden door in my heart, a door which would have never been opened.
To be continue.
*~ ~*~~*
So what you think??? Review, review. hey, I wanted to say that the kiss will be..something.really trust me you'll live it.I'm going with the plot but some of the terrible line that were in the film will be gone..NOW review, please!!!! It's very important to me!!!
Claudia
Takes place during "Attack of the clones", a Anakin and Padme fanfiction of course, and concentrates more about their thoughts. Thoughts that they'll never forget. For example what they thought when they saw each other. I wrote this story because I thought that the book and movie didn't explain so much why Padme and Anakin fell in love. This story is therefore more about their feelings and what they think of each other and the persons that surround them
Chapter 4
*~* ~*
When I was a child I remember that I used to feel safe as long as I had the love of my mother, her comfort, her presence. I used to breath in her sentence and curl in her lap, dozing of into peaceful dream, knowing that she'll be there when I wake up. How she used to caress my face and sing a lullaby, even though I was nine years old and too old.
I loved the way she would always care for me, how she would worry when Watto punished me when I forgot to clean the Drumhill speed or when I lost in the Pod Race when competing, always with a strong wish to win... to be admired and forget for a moment that I was a slave, a property of someone. I used to imagine her furrowed forehead when I was flying away in the desert, in fast speed avoiding blocks of rocks and the cheap tricks that Sebulba always played with. And I remember that I used to smile as she hug me after coming back, safe, and making me promise her that I would never race anymore.
But it wasn't in my position to decide that. It was Watto, and that's the only reason why I was quite pleased to have him as my master.
"Master", I never called him by that name. And as far as I know my mother didn't either. Even though she had been a slave her hole life, she was too proud to lower down to that level.
How I truly loved my mother, and I still do, though I'm far away from her. I love her still... and miss her. I still remember that painful day when I left her behind, not once looking back though she had pleaded me to not do so. And I did. With tears running along my cheeks I stared right forward, at the tall shape of the man who freed me... who torn me away from my mother. But it was my decision.
I know it.
So all this years I've tried to look forward, to not look back once, trying to forget my past, my time as a slave. But my mother's face is still a vivid memory in my mind though , a memory which I never wish to forget. Never.
I close my eyes, as the dream I had dreamt constantly this past days plays before my head, as a nightmare which I'm incapable to prevent, a nightmare with an approaching end.
I keep seeing her, my mother, I feel her pain, her sorrow, her agony...but most of all the one thing that captivates me the most, what makes my heart stop it's beating, what makes me even stop breathing, the last thing I hear before I wake up screaming is when I hear her, through gritted teeth of pain but with a love so obvious through the clouded painful eyes, say ; "I love you Ani, always remember that"
"Ani?", a smooth voice says with concern, as my thoughts about my mother vanish away in the mild Naboo breezing. I open my eyes and before them I see her, sitting in front of me, looking at me with narrowed eyes. I look at her... and her gaze wanders away to one of the mountains that raise behind us with all it's green decoration.
Every time I see her my heart suddenly begins to bump fast, I won't deny it, and I remain still, wondering, as all my previous worries disappear. My mind gets blocked, I'm not longer able to think, my mouth gets dry, my lips are no longer able to speak, and all I see and feel is her. Does she even know what kind of influence she has on me?
"Are you all right?", she asks, looking over the lake with it's many shapes, though it reflects the beautiful environment that encloses us from everywhere. Not even once glancing at my direction.
"The view is fantastic", I say instead, turning my head to the shimmering blue water that surrounds us and the trees and flowers, as I breath in their senses."... I had almost forgotten that everywhere you went you could still smell the sense of roses...."
She nods, turning her head and avoiding my eyes. Something she's done every time I say something and look at her. Not that it matters to me, though it only gives me the opportunity to observe her face, her every move.
Her picture before my eyes is pierced in my mind, a part of the many memories I collected when being in early age and shall never forget about. Memories which I took out when I felt lonely, every time my heart ached. She has been my saviour. Does she know that?
She has a floating strapless dress, pale white pacing of into soft pink. Her beautiful hair is drawn back. She smiles at me, when the lake retreat raise before us, and for the first time since we came to Naboo she dares to meet my eyes.
"How I have missed this place", she whispers, looking over to the magnificent building that stands over a blooming hill, as the sun slowly goes down over the horizon, it's light melting with the bright colourful blue sky, burning with all it's fire as red and purple streaks disperse all over.
I do not dare to say anything, afraid of destroying the magical moment that passes before my eyes.
The boat, stops by a small shore where a handmaiden is waiting. Padme is anxious to get off, her happy face shining like a thousand suns all together. I jump off, almost falling over though I want to reach out my hand for her to take it when she goes off, before the driver does it.
My heart almost breaks in two, as I when turning around, see her kiss the old and shabby man on the forehead and thanking him for the wonderful trip. Somehow that innocent gesture feels like as if two iron hands have taken my heart in a tight grip and crush it with all it's mighty power.
I look away. Forgetting that it wanted to take her hand.
The handmaiden asks me something as I try to ignore the previous sight, I don't captivate much of what she says, but it was obliviously something about the bags since without another more word she takes hold of the two simple packages and goes away with them.
"Ani", Padme says, making me to turn to her, and quickly I forget my feelings of sadness and anger, as I gaze at the divine creature." Do you want to look around?"
I nod my head, following her small figure as she begins to walk. I follow her, reaching up and walking beside her. Somehow my mind tells me to think about something to talk about, but my lack of words at that moment prevents me from doing it.
All I see is her. And she doesn't even notice it.
"When I was in Level Three," Padme begins, looking right forward at the balustrade with the view over the lake", we used to come here for school retreat. See that island? We used to swim there every day. I love the water."
"I do too", I say, clearing my throat and forcing myself to look away from her" I guess it comes from growing up in a desert planet."
Padme doesn't comment on the irony of my voice. She's still smiling, as if she has forgotten that I'm walking beside her, it's as if she's seeing memories in front of her, good memories, happy memories of her life as a child. A life were I'm not included.
She leans over the balustrade and points at the small island, as I take my place beside her, feeling a deep desire to come nearer, though I do not dare. "There it is..."
She keeps smiling, as I turn to see her clearer. She isn't obvious of my presence, so I let my eyes wander over her delightful face slowly. Feeling dazed, as if I was in a lovely dream I never wish to wake up from.
"We used to lie down on the sand and let the sun dry us, feeling it's warmth, feeling life.living.", she whispers, looking over the shimmering lake. A blank expression covering her eyes.
"Life isn't only about living", I say harshly, making her to turn to me. She looks at me and sees perhaps the pain in my eyes, as I look into hers and see what she so many times has tried to hide. Herself. " The sun doesn't shine for everyone.Life is about suffer, responsibility, sorrow, loss."
She looks down, perhaps my words wounded her, made her think who she was, where she was.
".and that isn't living", my words pace off, as I look away, trying to calm down the empty feeling of loss deep in my heart. To let it suffocate, but I can still hear her words, soothingly whispering " I love you Ani, always remember that" and despite my great desire of finally being here, in this place with a beloved memory from my past, vivid beside me, I feel guilt, pure guilt.it isn't fair.it is just not fair.
I feel soft fingers caress my face, the warmth of the fingertips slowly tracing down to my chest, where my heart beats fast, my mouth not able to speak, as I gaze into the bowed head, who gently touches the very deep of my soul.
"Anakin", she whispers, looking deep into my eyes, her own with a film of tears". a part of living is to feel, to see, to remember. to choose your path in life, accepting your destiny, your past.living."
I take the small hand in mine, slowly, as I gently grip it tighter. Somehow I feel like the same unsecured little boy, crying on a beloved's shoulder, crying for his recently loss, crying for the new path that has been planted in his life, crying for the reason of being lost.
I close my eyes, feeling the smooth fingers caress my face, it's a friendly touch, an innocent gesture, she knows it, even though I feel through the force the grand hesitation in her soul.. she knows that I am no longer a little boy.
I turn my head slightly, wishing that she won't walk back. I still feel the soft skin beneath my fingers, though I still hold my hand over hers. And that is when I slowly and trembling press my dry lips to the smooth palm, with still closed eyes, afraid of seeing fear or devastation in her eyes, as my heart bumps even faster.
Her words do not ever come out, it is as if the slight mild breezing caught them in thin air. I dare to open my eyes, but when I meet her gaze as she keeps staring me with narrowed eyes, she yanks away her hand, as if she has been burned. and turn away her two windows into her soul from me.
"I'm sorry", I whisper hoarsely, as I back away. Reality surrounding me from everywhere.
"Don't be", she answers, not looking at my direction. "Don't be Anakin, don't be"
I turn around and go, hearing the footsteps of my feet on the ground go faster, finding myself running. Running away from something that has opened a forbidden door in my heart, a door which would have never been opened.
To be continue.
*~ ~*~~*
So what you think??? Review, review. hey, I wanted to say that the kiss will be..something.really trust me you'll live it.I'm going with the plot but some of the terrible line that were in the film will be gone..NOW review, please!!!! It's very important to me!!!
Claudia