Chapter 16
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS NOT SUITABLE FOR ANIMAL-LOVERS, VEGETARIANS, CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 10, AND PEOPLE WHO ARE VERY SENSETIVE. THE FOLLOWING TEXT MAY CONTAIN THE USUAL LEVEL OF BAD LANGUAGE, MIXED WITH THE HISTORY OF A CERTAIN SCOTTISH DISH
*
"Ew! That's so gross!" groaned Christina. "I don't want to get my hands dirty!"
"Now, if you want to help the poor people in the hospital wing, you're going to have to start squeezing pus," sighed Professor Sprout.
"I don't want them to get better," replied Christina, stubbornly. The other students, who were busy squeezing pus glared vehemently at her.
"Christina, dear." said the professor looking very worried. "Your friends."
Christina crossed her arms and glared back at the students, blowing a raspberry.
"Victoria.is.Petrified," said Professor Sprout, bowing her head. Christina stared at her.
"I know this must come as a dreadful shock to you," continued the Professor.
"Really?" interrupted Christina, not looking convinced. "That little terror is Petrified?"
"Uh." Professor Sprout stopped, uncertainly. The girl was not taking it the way she thought she would.
"Oh good!"
Sarah stared at her.
"Christina!" exclaimed Susie, aghast. Leanne giggled.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yes." nodded Professor Sprout. "Indeed she has. And in order for her to get better, you need to collect the ingredients that will make her get better."
"But I don't want to," said Christina, looking extremely puzzled. "Why would I want Victoria to get better?"
"Because.she's your friend," replied the Professor, slowly.
"Yes, yes, yes. But she makes me sound so stupid in her story!" complained Christina.
"What story?" demanded Leanne.
"Her 'Lord of the Rings' story. She makes me carry around a bunny called 'Mr Fluffy', and makes me act like I like taking showers! I don't like taking showers! I like to smell bad!" shouted Christina.
*these statements came from her very own mouth, today, on the 6/8/02. It was recorded at 1:28pm, at school, in PLC. All but the last statements are her very own words* *isn't revenge sweet, Christina? Better marks indeed!*
"Huh? What? I didn't know she was writing a Lord of the Rings story!" cried Leanne, beginning to squeeze pus with renewed energy. "She never told me! I want to read it! Get to work, Christina!"
"But she'll write more bad things about me," whined Christina, picking up the nearest vine and squeezing it gingerly.
"But if she doesn't get better, she won't be able to continue it," Sarah pointed out, even though she had absolutely no idea what Christina was talking about.
"Hmm.I guess so," shrugged Christina, poking the vine harder. A sudden explosion of pus shattered the greenhouse windows, rendering all the people in the building unconscious.
*
"What was that?" cried Angeline, staring in shock at the greenhouse.
"I dunno. You wanna see?" shrugged Rachel.
"No," said Vanessa, in a whiny voice. "I want to go and have dinner."
"Mm.it's getting dark already," nodded Elspeth.
Artemis looked at her in alarm. "What?" For the first time in fourteen years, Artemis Fowl Junior had spent a whole day without a physics book.
"You're right. Susie 'n Sarah will probably turn up at the Great Hall before us, if we don't hurry," nodded Angeline, doing a 180* angle, and running back into the building. "It's cold. I'll race you guys!"
"Cheater!" cried Michelle, leaping after her. Elspeth followed, running just for the sake of running.
"I wonder what's for dinner." wondered Rachel. "I mean, there is totally no point in running to a meal, which you know you will not enjoy. There really is no sense in it, either."
"Yes, but we're getting left behind," said Victoria. "Hurry up."
At that, all the remaining girls burst into a run, leaving Artemis to his thoughts.
"Crazy, the lot of them," he muttered. "Completely deranged. More like mountain trolls than schoolgirls. Should be locked in an asylum, and never let out." Then he looked up. He did not like what he saw. Rachel was scowling at him, arms crossed, tapping her foot.
"Asshole," she said, punching him in the eye.
Artemis moaned and bent over, clutching his eye. He made the mistake of looking back up. Michelle was there, now, and did not look very happy.
"Humph! Take that, you stupid freaking idiot!" she shouted, kicking him in the side.
"Uh.Michelle?" asked Rachel. "You might've ruptured his liver, by doing that."
"Huh? Is that good or bad?" asked Michelle.
"Bad," squeaked Artemis, hugging his sides. "Very, very bad."
"Shut up, you," snapped Rachel, kicking his other side. Artemis moaned and keeled over.
"Let's go. I can smell pie," shrugged Michelle, breaking into a run. Rachel stayed where she was, her left brow going higher and higher with every step her friend took.
"What's wrong?" Michelle finally turned around.
"Wrong way, you moron," said Rachel.
"Oh," Michelle nodded and took off in the direction her friend was pointing. Rachel followed.
"What about me?" said Artemis. "What about---"
Michelle came back, and grabbing his ear, she pulled him all the way to the Great Hall.
"Ow!" The cry rang through the halls like a pack of hungry wolves. "Ow! Let go of my ear! Ow! The ear is a very sensitive organ, you know! OUCH!"
"Yes. I guess you didn't know that a few minutes ago, when you stated that we were all deranged and deserved to be put in asylum," drawled Rachel.
"Yes, but---"
"It is pie!" beamed Michelle, in delight. She let go of the boy's ear, promptly, and threw herself onto the nearest chair.
"Food!" she said, happily. "Real food, and not sandwiches!"
"Not sandwiches?" Rachel grinned, following suit, by sliding onto the bench, beside Michelle. "It is food. It's---"
"Steak and kidney pie," replied Angeline, saying the third word with relish.
Her friends eyed their plates uncertainly.
"Count me out," sighed Rachel, pushing her plate away. "I feel quite ill."
"Me too," groaned Victoria.
"Why, is it kidney pie?" cried Artemis, forgetting his pain for a minute. "Indeed it is! I would recognise the pungent scent of that delicacy anywhere! Pastry on the outside and kidney on the inside!"
"You sure it's not the wrong way round?" asked Rachel, sarcastically. "Maybe they make it like haggis. Oh, no. that's the heart, liver, and so on and so forth of a sheep stuffed in a sheep's stomach. Still, quite similar, isn't it?"
Stephanie blanched. "What?"
Shooting a nasty look at Angeline, Rachel began telling them in full detail all about how to make haggis, including the ingredients and method of making.
"I'm not hungry now," said Angeline in a small voice.
"Now, now. Don't let me ruin your meal of haggis' relative. Eat up, Angeline. And enjoy the delightful taste of animal organs!" smiled Rachel.
The other girl cupped a hand over her mouth and ran for the exit. Rachel watched her departure, with an absent smile of her face.
"Quite fascinating, the history of Scots, isn't it?" she said.
*
Okay, I did not make up that part about haggis. It's real, it's disgusting, and people used to eat it. I hope they don't, anymore, because if they do, I wouldn't like to talk to them. I mean, all that oatmeal and suet, mixed with all kinds of sick organs, and shoved into the poor creature's stomach? That'd give you nasty breath, I reckon. Animal lovers, vegetarians and so on.don't say I didn't warn you. PLEASE don't stop reviewing. Please, please, please, please. And thanks so much to the anonymous person out there, who does not know me, and yet, is still reviewing. You're great. Don't stop. Whatever you do, please don't stop.
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS NOT SUITABLE FOR ANIMAL-LOVERS, VEGETARIANS, CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 10, AND PEOPLE WHO ARE VERY SENSETIVE. THE FOLLOWING TEXT MAY CONTAIN THE USUAL LEVEL OF BAD LANGUAGE, MIXED WITH THE HISTORY OF A CERTAIN SCOTTISH DISH
*
"Ew! That's so gross!" groaned Christina. "I don't want to get my hands dirty!"
"Now, if you want to help the poor people in the hospital wing, you're going to have to start squeezing pus," sighed Professor Sprout.
"I don't want them to get better," replied Christina, stubbornly. The other students, who were busy squeezing pus glared vehemently at her.
"Christina, dear." said the professor looking very worried. "Your friends."
Christina crossed her arms and glared back at the students, blowing a raspberry.
"Victoria.is.Petrified," said Professor Sprout, bowing her head. Christina stared at her.
"I know this must come as a dreadful shock to you," continued the Professor.
"Really?" interrupted Christina, not looking convinced. "That little terror is Petrified?"
"Uh." Professor Sprout stopped, uncertainly. The girl was not taking it the way she thought she would.
"Oh good!"
Sarah stared at her.
"Christina!" exclaimed Susie, aghast. Leanne giggled.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yes." nodded Professor Sprout. "Indeed she has. And in order for her to get better, you need to collect the ingredients that will make her get better."
"But I don't want to," said Christina, looking extremely puzzled. "Why would I want Victoria to get better?"
"Because.she's your friend," replied the Professor, slowly.
"Yes, yes, yes. But she makes me sound so stupid in her story!" complained Christina.
"What story?" demanded Leanne.
"Her 'Lord of the Rings' story. She makes me carry around a bunny called 'Mr Fluffy', and makes me act like I like taking showers! I don't like taking showers! I like to smell bad!" shouted Christina.
*these statements came from her very own mouth, today, on the 6/8/02. It was recorded at 1:28pm, at school, in PLC. All but the last statements are her very own words* *isn't revenge sweet, Christina? Better marks indeed!*
"Huh? What? I didn't know she was writing a Lord of the Rings story!" cried Leanne, beginning to squeeze pus with renewed energy. "She never told me! I want to read it! Get to work, Christina!"
"But she'll write more bad things about me," whined Christina, picking up the nearest vine and squeezing it gingerly.
"But if she doesn't get better, she won't be able to continue it," Sarah pointed out, even though she had absolutely no idea what Christina was talking about.
"Hmm.I guess so," shrugged Christina, poking the vine harder. A sudden explosion of pus shattered the greenhouse windows, rendering all the people in the building unconscious.
*
"What was that?" cried Angeline, staring in shock at the greenhouse.
"I dunno. You wanna see?" shrugged Rachel.
"No," said Vanessa, in a whiny voice. "I want to go and have dinner."
"Mm.it's getting dark already," nodded Elspeth.
Artemis looked at her in alarm. "What?" For the first time in fourteen years, Artemis Fowl Junior had spent a whole day without a physics book.
"You're right. Susie 'n Sarah will probably turn up at the Great Hall before us, if we don't hurry," nodded Angeline, doing a 180* angle, and running back into the building. "It's cold. I'll race you guys!"
"Cheater!" cried Michelle, leaping after her. Elspeth followed, running just for the sake of running.
"I wonder what's for dinner." wondered Rachel. "I mean, there is totally no point in running to a meal, which you know you will not enjoy. There really is no sense in it, either."
"Yes, but we're getting left behind," said Victoria. "Hurry up."
At that, all the remaining girls burst into a run, leaving Artemis to his thoughts.
"Crazy, the lot of them," he muttered. "Completely deranged. More like mountain trolls than schoolgirls. Should be locked in an asylum, and never let out." Then he looked up. He did not like what he saw. Rachel was scowling at him, arms crossed, tapping her foot.
"Asshole," she said, punching him in the eye.
Artemis moaned and bent over, clutching his eye. He made the mistake of looking back up. Michelle was there, now, and did not look very happy.
"Humph! Take that, you stupid freaking idiot!" she shouted, kicking him in the side.
"Uh.Michelle?" asked Rachel. "You might've ruptured his liver, by doing that."
"Huh? Is that good or bad?" asked Michelle.
"Bad," squeaked Artemis, hugging his sides. "Very, very bad."
"Shut up, you," snapped Rachel, kicking his other side. Artemis moaned and keeled over.
"Let's go. I can smell pie," shrugged Michelle, breaking into a run. Rachel stayed where she was, her left brow going higher and higher with every step her friend took.
"What's wrong?" Michelle finally turned around.
"Wrong way, you moron," said Rachel.
"Oh," Michelle nodded and took off in the direction her friend was pointing. Rachel followed.
"What about me?" said Artemis. "What about---"
Michelle came back, and grabbing his ear, she pulled him all the way to the Great Hall.
"Ow!" The cry rang through the halls like a pack of hungry wolves. "Ow! Let go of my ear! Ow! The ear is a very sensitive organ, you know! OUCH!"
"Yes. I guess you didn't know that a few minutes ago, when you stated that we were all deranged and deserved to be put in asylum," drawled Rachel.
"Yes, but---"
"It is pie!" beamed Michelle, in delight. She let go of the boy's ear, promptly, and threw herself onto the nearest chair.
"Food!" she said, happily. "Real food, and not sandwiches!"
"Not sandwiches?" Rachel grinned, following suit, by sliding onto the bench, beside Michelle. "It is food. It's---"
"Steak and kidney pie," replied Angeline, saying the third word with relish.
Her friends eyed their plates uncertainly.
"Count me out," sighed Rachel, pushing her plate away. "I feel quite ill."
"Me too," groaned Victoria.
"Why, is it kidney pie?" cried Artemis, forgetting his pain for a minute. "Indeed it is! I would recognise the pungent scent of that delicacy anywhere! Pastry on the outside and kidney on the inside!"
"You sure it's not the wrong way round?" asked Rachel, sarcastically. "Maybe they make it like haggis. Oh, no. that's the heart, liver, and so on and so forth of a sheep stuffed in a sheep's stomach. Still, quite similar, isn't it?"
Stephanie blanched. "What?"
Shooting a nasty look at Angeline, Rachel began telling them in full detail all about how to make haggis, including the ingredients and method of making.
"I'm not hungry now," said Angeline in a small voice.
"Now, now. Don't let me ruin your meal of haggis' relative. Eat up, Angeline. And enjoy the delightful taste of animal organs!" smiled Rachel.
The other girl cupped a hand over her mouth and ran for the exit. Rachel watched her departure, with an absent smile of her face.
"Quite fascinating, the history of Scots, isn't it?" she said.
*
Okay, I did not make up that part about haggis. It's real, it's disgusting, and people used to eat it. I hope they don't, anymore, because if they do, I wouldn't like to talk to them. I mean, all that oatmeal and suet, mixed with all kinds of sick organs, and shoved into the poor creature's stomach? That'd give you nasty breath, I reckon. Animal lovers, vegetarians and so on.don't say I didn't warn you. PLEASE don't stop reviewing. Please, please, please, please. And thanks so much to the anonymous person out there, who does not know me, and yet, is still reviewing. You're great. Don't stop. Whatever you do, please don't stop.