Chapter 18
*
"I have to clean out bedpans on Friday afternoon," groaned Christina, looking at her fingers. "Ew, gross. What are bedpans?"
Angeline opened her mouth to speak, but she closed it again, going bright red. It may have been because Rachel muttered, 'shut your gob, Angeline. I can smell haggis', or it may have been because the answer was too.undignified to say. Artemis went an unsightly reddish green, and he too kept his silence.
"I know what bedpans are," giggled Alex.
"Alex, don't," said Rachel, warningly. "It's absolutely revolting and foul."
However, her friend took no heed of her words, going on to say, "Bedpans are shallow toilet pans that people stuck in bed have to use."
"EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Christina. "I'M NEVER GOING TO CLEAN THAT!"
"There's another meaning too," muttered Rachel. "It's also a warming pan."
"Warming pan?" asked Harry.
"Don't get your hopes up, though," continued Rachel. "She said clean OUT. So.run."
Christina ran. Screaming. At the top of her lungs, of course. But then, Harry did a strange thing. No, he didn't go to the gym and start pumping iron. He DID, however, run after her, saying, "Well at least we have to do the detention together. So I can get to know you better."
The girl turned around, bewildered. "REALLY? YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW me?"
"Yeah," shrugged Harry, blushing furiously. "I mean, I hardly know you, and- --"
"Ah." Rachel smiled dreamily. "Young love. How innocent. How carefree."
"Shut up," growled Michelle. She kicked Rachel in the shins and stormed off in a huff.
"How stupid," said Rachel, jerking her head towards Michelle's departing back.
"Shut up!" shouted Michelle, not turning around. She disappeared round the corner, still scowling.
"Huh," sniffed Rachel. "She kicks ME and gets angry?"
Artemis stared at her. "Didn't that hurt?" He would've been slamming bandages onto his shins as fast as he could, by now, and sloshing disinfectant all over himself, lest any germs or scars emerge. Let alone blood.
"Oh yes. But you get used to it after a while," shrugged Rachel, limping off after Michelle, and muttering swear words under her breath.
Angeline snorted, before running after them. "Wait for me! I want to talk to Michelle!"
"Go away!" snapped Michelle, from behind the Slytherin Portrait door. "I don't want to talk to YOU."
"Then let ME in," said Rachel, angrily slamming her shoulder against the portrait again. "I wanna take my shower."
"Michelle, don't be so immature. It's something about maths," sighed Angeline.
"Harrypotterisabigidiot," said Rachel, scowling at the portrait.
"What?" laughed Angeline.
"That's the password," explained Rachel, attacking the door with renewed energy. "Open up, you stupid freaking door!"
"I've got orders," shrugged the picture, leering at her nastily.
"I DON'T CARE! I WANT TO TAKE MY SHOWER!" shouted Rachel, losing her short temper. "OPEN UP OR I'LL---"
"You'll what?" smirked the picture. Angeline goggled at it.
"Ugh. I'm being baited by a picture," growled Rachel. "OPEN OR I'LL.I'LL PAINT A MOUSTACHE ON YOUR STUPID FACE! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! WITH DRIPPING, BLACK INK! MAYBE A FEW PINKS, TOO! THEN YOU'LL LOOK PICTURE PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The next second, the portrait swung open, revealing a fleeing figure.
"Michelle! Wait for me!" cried Angeline, taking the steps by two after her friend, as Rachel was doing. Unfortunately, her legs were not quite as long as Rachel's, and she overbalanced, toppling forward, onto her hands. "Sorry. I've got orders," apologised the stairs. "Orders? I'll show YOU orders!" snapped Angeline, kicking the stairs. She didn't like being made to look stupid. Not like it was possible, though, with an IQ of 140 or so.
"Calm down, Angeline," said Rachel, looking quite impressed at Angeline's display of temper. Kicking the stairs indeed!
"Humph!" sniffed Angeline, dusting her tartan tunic off regally. "Michelle Tso! Come down this instant!"
"Don't you mean CALM down?" grinned Rachel.
"Ugh." Angeline rolled her eyes, and continued chasing Michelle.
*
"What's wrong with Michelle?" asked Sarah, looking quite shocked.
"What is wrong with Michelle?" repeated Artemis, looking amused. "My dear girl, isn't it obvious?"
Sarah planted her hands on her hips and glowered at him. "Don't call me that," she said.
Artemis shrugged. "Only being polite as is the custom of gentlemen. Well, anyway. Your friend, Michelle, is suffering from mathematical deficiency. It is something I too suffer from, as did Einstein, and Marilyn Monroe."
Susie lifted a sceptical eyebrow, and snorted. "Right." she nodded.
The boy sighed melodramatically. "See, when a person is too good at a subject, their brain fixes it into the system, enabling them to find that subject far easier, and enjoyable. When the source of that subject is cut off or denied from the body, the person's systems overbalance, causing mood swings and unpredictable tempers."
"So THAT'S why Angeline gets short-tempered all the time," nodded Sarah. "Because she's too good at everything and can't study all of it."
"How about with candy?" Leanne wanted to know. "Is it the same with candy?"
"Do you study candy?" snorted Katie.
"Oh.right," Leanne blushed, and stared at the floor, giggling quietly.
"Are all your friends as disturbed as she is?" asked Artemis, pointing to Leanne, with a polished shoe.
Katie laughed. "Leanne's just stupid, Christina's just slow and smitten, Michelle's just vicious, and Rachel's just sarcastic."
"I see." said Artemis, nodding slowly. "So you all have certain traits?"
"Huh?" said Leanne, her face blank.
"Ah.now I see what you mean," said the boy, smiling a little.
"Huh?" repeated Leanne, looking around wildly. "What did he say? What? Did he say my name? I heard someone say my name."
The youth's smile grew. "You certainly weren't exaggerating, Katie."
The whole group of children began laughing, and Leanne began flicking her head around angrily. "What.?" she whined. "What is it?"
Only Vanessa and Artemis retained their humour. Vanessa, because she was strange, and did not like to laugh at jokes, preferring 'ghost stories' to funny stories, and Artemis, because he did not laugh. Isn't nature strange? Geniuses often don't like laughing.
Then again, Angeline does laugh. Only problem? She doesn't laugh at jokes. She laughs at people.
Leanne also began laughing, even though she had not the foggiest idea what was going on, and what they were laughing at. Then again, what was new? Leanne often only understood jokes, which insulted her. She found them funny. And still does. Rachel has the wonderful job of making up insulting jokes for Christina and Leanne.
* Well, I guess that's enough personal history. You must all be asleep by now, so I'll leave this chapter here. Oh, by the way, my last few paragraphs were complete truth. Vanessa is (no offence) small, quite (uh) short, and doesn't look at all intimidating. However, she has a wonderful way of giving her fellow students the 'evil eye', and indeed, does not like to laugh. Mm.Angeline though, I might have made a mistake. The only other kinds of jokes she likes besides a person looking stupid are really, really, really, really, really complicated jokes, which often have something to do with politics. Sad, isn't it?
So review, because I really need some *human* feedback.
p.s. I'm TRYING to make Michelle like Harry, but it's kinda hard. I mean, nothing that involves a certain level of slush matches Michelle, Queen of Karate.
*
"I have to clean out bedpans on Friday afternoon," groaned Christina, looking at her fingers. "Ew, gross. What are bedpans?"
Angeline opened her mouth to speak, but she closed it again, going bright red. It may have been because Rachel muttered, 'shut your gob, Angeline. I can smell haggis', or it may have been because the answer was too.undignified to say. Artemis went an unsightly reddish green, and he too kept his silence.
"I know what bedpans are," giggled Alex.
"Alex, don't," said Rachel, warningly. "It's absolutely revolting and foul."
However, her friend took no heed of her words, going on to say, "Bedpans are shallow toilet pans that people stuck in bed have to use."
"EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Christina. "I'M NEVER GOING TO CLEAN THAT!"
"There's another meaning too," muttered Rachel. "It's also a warming pan."
"Warming pan?" asked Harry.
"Don't get your hopes up, though," continued Rachel. "She said clean OUT. So.run."
Christina ran. Screaming. At the top of her lungs, of course. But then, Harry did a strange thing. No, he didn't go to the gym and start pumping iron. He DID, however, run after her, saying, "Well at least we have to do the detention together. So I can get to know you better."
The girl turned around, bewildered. "REALLY? YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW me?"
"Yeah," shrugged Harry, blushing furiously. "I mean, I hardly know you, and- --"
"Ah." Rachel smiled dreamily. "Young love. How innocent. How carefree."
"Shut up," growled Michelle. She kicked Rachel in the shins and stormed off in a huff.
"How stupid," said Rachel, jerking her head towards Michelle's departing back.
"Shut up!" shouted Michelle, not turning around. She disappeared round the corner, still scowling.
"Huh," sniffed Rachel. "She kicks ME and gets angry?"
Artemis stared at her. "Didn't that hurt?" He would've been slamming bandages onto his shins as fast as he could, by now, and sloshing disinfectant all over himself, lest any germs or scars emerge. Let alone blood.
"Oh yes. But you get used to it after a while," shrugged Rachel, limping off after Michelle, and muttering swear words under her breath.
Angeline snorted, before running after them. "Wait for me! I want to talk to Michelle!"
"Go away!" snapped Michelle, from behind the Slytherin Portrait door. "I don't want to talk to YOU."
"Then let ME in," said Rachel, angrily slamming her shoulder against the portrait again. "I wanna take my shower."
"Michelle, don't be so immature. It's something about maths," sighed Angeline.
"Harrypotterisabigidiot," said Rachel, scowling at the portrait.
"What?" laughed Angeline.
"That's the password," explained Rachel, attacking the door with renewed energy. "Open up, you stupid freaking door!"
"I've got orders," shrugged the picture, leering at her nastily.
"I DON'T CARE! I WANT TO TAKE MY SHOWER!" shouted Rachel, losing her short temper. "OPEN UP OR I'LL---"
"You'll what?" smirked the picture. Angeline goggled at it.
"Ugh. I'm being baited by a picture," growled Rachel. "OPEN OR I'LL.I'LL PAINT A MOUSTACHE ON YOUR STUPID FACE! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! WITH DRIPPING, BLACK INK! MAYBE A FEW PINKS, TOO! THEN YOU'LL LOOK PICTURE PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The next second, the portrait swung open, revealing a fleeing figure.
"Michelle! Wait for me!" cried Angeline, taking the steps by two after her friend, as Rachel was doing. Unfortunately, her legs were not quite as long as Rachel's, and she overbalanced, toppling forward, onto her hands. "Sorry. I've got orders," apologised the stairs. "Orders? I'll show YOU orders!" snapped Angeline, kicking the stairs. She didn't like being made to look stupid. Not like it was possible, though, with an IQ of 140 or so.
"Calm down, Angeline," said Rachel, looking quite impressed at Angeline's display of temper. Kicking the stairs indeed!
"Humph!" sniffed Angeline, dusting her tartan tunic off regally. "Michelle Tso! Come down this instant!"
"Don't you mean CALM down?" grinned Rachel.
"Ugh." Angeline rolled her eyes, and continued chasing Michelle.
*
"What's wrong with Michelle?" asked Sarah, looking quite shocked.
"What is wrong with Michelle?" repeated Artemis, looking amused. "My dear girl, isn't it obvious?"
Sarah planted her hands on her hips and glowered at him. "Don't call me that," she said.
Artemis shrugged. "Only being polite as is the custom of gentlemen. Well, anyway. Your friend, Michelle, is suffering from mathematical deficiency. It is something I too suffer from, as did Einstein, and Marilyn Monroe."
Susie lifted a sceptical eyebrow, and snorted. "Right." she nodded.
The boy sighed melodramatically. "See, when a person is too good at a subject, their brain fixes it into the system, enabling them to find that subject far easier, and enjoyable. When the source of that subject is cut off or denied from the body, the person's systems overbalance, causing mood swings and unpredictable tempers."
"So THAT'S why Angeline gets short-tempered all the time," nodded Sarah. "Because she's too good at everything and can't study all of it."
"How about with candy?" Leanne wanted to know. "Is it the same with candy?"
"Do you study candy?" snorted Katie.
"Oh.right," Leanne blushed, and stared at the floor, giggling quietly.
"Are all your friends as disturbed as she is?" asked Artemis, pointing to Leanne, with a polished shoe.
Katie laughed. "Leanne's just stupid, Christina's just slow and smitten, Michelle's just vicious, and Rachel's just sarcastic."
"I see." said Artemis, nodding slowly. "So you all have certain traits?"
"Huh?" said Leanne, her face blank.
"Ah.now I see what you mean," said the boy, smiling a little.
"Huh?" repeated Leanne, looking around wildly. "What did he say? What? Did he say my name? I heard someone say my name."
The youth's smile grew. "You certainly weren't exaggerating, Katie."
The whole group of children began laughing, and Leanne began flicking her head around angrily. "What.?" she whined. "What is it?"
Only Vanessa and Artemis retained their humour. Vanessa, because she was strange, and did not like to laugh at jokes, preferring 'ghost stories' to funny stories, and Artemis, because he did not laugh. Isn't nature strange? Geniuses often don't like laughing.
Then again, Angeline does laugh. Only problem? She doesn't laugh at jokes. She laughs at people.
Leanne also began laughing, even though she had not the foggiest idea what was going on, and what they were laughing at. Then again, what was new? Leanne often only understood jokes, which insulted her. She found them funny. And still does. Rachel has the wonderful job of making up insulting jokes for Christina and Leanne.
* Well, I guess that's enough personal history. You must all be asleep by now, so I'll leave this chapter here. Oh, by the way, my last few paragraphs were complete truth. Vanessa is (no offence) small, quite (uh) short, and doesn't look at all intimidating. However, she has a wonderful way of giving her fellow students the 'evil eye', and indeed, does not like to laugh. Mm.Angeline though, I might have made a mistake. The only other kinds of jokes she likes besides a person looking stupid are really, really, really, really, really complicated jokes, which often have something to do with politics. Sad, isn't it?
So review, because I really need some *human* feedback.
p.s. I'm TRYING to make Michelle like Harry, but it's kinda hard. I mean, nothing that involves a certain level of slush matches Michelle, Queen of Karate.