Chapter 21
Christina's still humming that song. Michelle just told me that she's got it stuck in her head.
"Shut up, Christina, or I'm gonna murder you," is what she just told Christina.
I feel trapped between two wars.
"I mean, seriously, Christina. I'm gonna blast your head off and cut--- Christina, shut up. Or I'm gonna chop your head off and kill you. well.duh." Michelle wants a knife. She analysing how to kill Christina, now. she just called Christina a 'Gay asshole', because Christina ignored all her earlier warnings.
PUT MY RUBBER DOWN, MICHELLE TSO! (She wanted to kill Christina with it).
*
"I would prefer Professor Snape," snapped the teacher.
"Well you don't always get what you want," replied Rachel, curtly.
"Otherwise you'll become spoiled," added Angeline, with a tart nod.
Snape gaped at them, mouth dropping open, emitting a dreadful stench. The two girls gagged, choking.
"Ew, gross!" said Rachel. "You SERIOUSLY need a mint. Or a tictac. Or if you're really poor, perhaps just chew a bit of parsley? Please?"
"Yeah," Angeline looked quite disgusted at the sight of the long rows of mouldy teeth.
"You really stink," said Katie, giggling.
"Poof," said Leanne, waving her hand over her nose. Snape looked quite embarrassed, and he hastily shut his mouth.
Artemis's multi-coloured face sudden became more green than ever, although he managed to maintain his snobbish pompous tone that would piss anyone off.
"Professor, I do hope you know that if you shut your mouth like that, it will do nothing more than blow a stronger odour at everyone, because of the air pressure," he said.
"Who's that?" asked Jess.
"Oh, I know you!" exclaimed Claire. "You're Artemis Fowl, aren't you?"
"Fifty points from Gryffindor, for shouting in the hall," said Snape.
Rachel stepped away from the host of the stench, looking quite repulsed.
"You know, they haven't even been Sorted yet," she told him, from a safe distance. "So you can't take any points away from them."
"Fifty points from your house, then!" Snape rounded on her, eyes glittering with malice. "And fifty points from her house, too, for attacking a fellow student!"
"One hundred points from Slytherin," Rachel nodded, proudly. "Cool. That'll leave Ravenclaw open victory. Thanks for DISSING YOUR OWN HOUSE, SNAPE!"
"But---" realising what he had just done, Snape ran off, tripping on his robes and crashing, headfirst, into a wall. It knocked him unconscious.
"Id," said Christina, snorting. ('id' does not mean ID. It's her shortened version of 'idiot').
"Moron," sniggered Rachel.
"My, that IS a sad man," said Artemis, shaking his head sadly.
"You ARE Artemis Fowl!" cried Claire, obviously delighted.
He cast a cool eye over her. "Indeed I am," he replied, coldly.
On the stairs, Harry was fighting it out with Ron, while Hermione looked on, positively shocked.
"Cool. I'm Claire, by the way, and that's Jess," Claire pointed at Jess, who was looking around with interest.
"This is getting very confusing," said Susie, with a wry grin.
At that instant, Alex looked up, and saw Ron.
"So you're Ron!" she said, her eyes glazed. "Wow."
"Ugh. Spare us," Rachel rolled her eyes.
"My I know why you are all up at this unsightly hour?" asked Dumbledore, stepping down the stairs.
This was Angeline's cue. "Well, Professor," she said, in her freakishly mature tone of voice. "You see, we were looking for you, to report another Basilisk attack."
"Another victim?" Dumbledore looked shocked. "Where? Who?"
"Professor Snape," replied Angeline, solemnly. "We heard hissing, and so we decided to see what we could do to help. But we arrived just in time to see the Basilisk slithering away, leaving behind.our Potions teacher."
"We did?" asked Leanne. Michelle jarred her sharply in the ribs.
"Yes," said Angeline, giving Leanne a meaningful look.
"Oh! I get it!" screeched Christina. Everyone blocked their ears, and behind her, several windows shattered.
"What do you get, Miss Hodkinson?" asked Dumbledore.
"That joke that Rachel made on the train! That's so stupid!" Then, at the looks her friends were giving her, she added, "Remember? The one about Irish being stupid?"
*I meant nothing by that joke, so anyone who's Irish, please calm down and put down that spear*
"Well I am the living contradiction for that joke," said Artemis, angrily.
Dumbledore looked quite disapproving. "Miss White," he said, sternly. "I would appreciate it if you did not make such racial comments about other people. Why, I myself am half Irish."
"I rest my case," said Rachel, smiling sweetly. Dumbledore's face was as blank as a piece of paper.
"Huh?" he said.
"May I repeat that?" said Rachel. A blow to the left side of her face made her double over in pain. Artemis was breathing hard, clutching his fist.
"How DARE you, you snobbish---" She stopped, then, lifting her own fist punched him in the face. Artemis was going to have a very interesting face in the morning. Well.afternoon.
"Children, please!" said Dumbledore.
"Children?" shouted Artemis. "CHILDREN?" he had finally cracked.
"Get your glasses fixed, you ugly old geezer!" said Rachel.
"Excuse ME!" gasped Dumbledore.
"Uh.Professor?" said Angeline. "The body?"
"Oh yes," nodded the Headmaster.
"But." Michelle stared at the still body of Severus Snape. Rachel glanced at her, then at Angeline, and finally, raised her hand, twirling her finger round the side of her head. Michelle sniggered. But at that split second, Snape's face turned a deathly white, and his pulse slowed. Dumbledore rushed over to his staff, checking the man's wrist. It was icy, and clammy.
When Dumbledore stood up again, his bright eyes were suspicious.
"Miss Tan," he said, gravely. "Please repeat your alibi."
"Alibi?" asked Angeline. "All I said was that we heard noises, then, coming down the stairs, we saw the disappearing tail of something. I think it must have been the Basilisk, because Snape was just lying there."
"Oh really?" said Dumbledore. "Because if that was so, Severus Snape would have been Petrified for a good few minutes before you arrived."
"Yes.?" Angeline nodded her head uncertainly.
"But that is not so," continued Albus Dumbledore. "This man was Petrified half a minute ago."
*
Right. Please, please keep reviewing, and if you haven't reviewed yet, and are reading this, REVIEW! You should know how to review, because.well.obvious reasons, really. So PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ review.
Christina's still humming that song. Michelle just told me that she's got it stuck in her head.
"Shut up, Christina, or I'm gonna murder you," is what she just told Christina.
I feel trapped between two wars.
"I mean, seriously, Christina. I'm gonna blast your head off and cut--- Christina, shut up. Or I'm gonna chop your head off and kill you. well.duh." Michelle wants a knife. She analysing how to kill Christina, now. she just called Christina a 'Gay asshole', because Christina ignored all her earlier warnings.
PUT MY RUBBER DOWN, MICHELLE TSO! (She wanted to kill Christina with it).
*
"I would prefer Professor Snape," snapped the teacher.
"Well you don't always get what you want," replied Rachel, curtly.
"Otherwise you'll become spoiled," added Angeline, with a tart nod.
Snape gaped at them, mouth dropping open, emitting a dreadful stench. The two girls gagged, choking.
"Ew, gross!" said Rachel. "You SERIOUSLY need a mint. Or a tictac. Or if you're really poor, perhaps just chew a bit of parsley? Please?"
"Yeah," Angeline looked quite disgusted at the sight of the long rows of mouldy teeth.
"You really stink," said Katie, giggling.
"Poof," said Leanne, waving her hand over her nose. Snape looked quite embarrassed, and he hastily shut his mouth.
Artemis's multi-coloured face sudden became more green than ever, although he managed to maintain his snobbish pompous tone that would piss anyone off.
"Professor, I do hope you know that if you shut your mouth like that, it will do nothing more than blow a stronger odour at everyone, because of the air pressure," he said.
"Who's that?" asked Jess.
"Oh, I know you!" exclaimed Claire. "You're Artemis Fowl, aren't you?"
"Fifty points from Gryffindor, for shouting in the hall," said Snape.
Rachel stepped away from the host of the stench, looking quite repulsed.
"You know, they haven't even been Sorted yet," she told him, from a safe distance. "So you can't take any points away from them."
"Fifty points from your house, then!" Snape rounded on her, eyes glittering with malice. "And fifty points from her house, too, for attacking a fellow student!"
"One hundred points from Slytherin," Rachel nodded, proudly. "Cool. That'll leave Ravenclaw open victory. Thanks for DISSING YOUR OWN HOUSE, SNAPE!"
"But---" realising what he had just done, Snape ran off, tripping on his robes and crashing, headfirst, into a wall. It knocked him unconscious.
"Id," said Christina, snorting. ('id' does not mean ID. It's her shortened version of 'idiot').
"Moron," sniggered Rachel.
"My, that IS a sad man," said Artemis, shaking his head sadly.
"You ARE Artemis Fowl!" cried Claire, obviously delighted.
He cast a cool eye over her. "Indeed I am," he replied, coldly.
On the stairs, Harry was fighting it out with Ron, while Hermione looked on, positively shocked.
"Cool. I'm Claire, by the way, and that's Jess," Claire pointed at Jess, who was looking around with interest.
"This is getting very confusing," said Susie, with a wry grin.
At that instant, Alex looked up, and saw Ron.
"So you're Ron!" she said, her eyes glazed. "Wow."
"Ugh. Spare us," Rachel rolled her eyes.
"My I know why you are all up at this unsightly hour?" asked Dumbledore, stepping down the stairs.
This was Angeline's cue. "Well, Professor," she said, in her freakishly mature tone of voice. "You see, we were looking for you, to report another Basilisk attack."
"Another victim?" Dumbledore looked shocked. "Where? Who?"
"Professor Snape," replied Angeline, solemnly. "We heard hissing, and so we decided to see what we could do to help. But we arrived just in time to see the Basilisk slithering away, leaving behind.our Potions teacher."
"We did?" asked Leanne. Michelle jarred her sharply in the ribs.
"Yes," said Angeline, giving Leanne a meaningful look.
"Oh! I get it!" screeched Christina. Everyone blocked their ears, and behind her, several windows shattered.
"What do you get, Miss Hodkinson?" asked Dumbledore.
"That joke that Rachel made on the train! That's so stupid!" Then, at the looks her friends were giving her, she added, "Remember? The one about Irish being stupid?"
*I meant nothing by that joke, so anyone who's Irish, please calm down and put down that spear*
"Well I am the living contradiction for that joke," said Artemis, angrily.
Dumbledore looked quite disapproving. "Miss White," he said, sternly. "I would appreciate it if you did not make such racial comments about other people. Why, I myself am half Irish."
"I rest my case," said Rachel, smiling sweetly. Dumbledore's face was as blank as a piece of paper.
"Huh?" he said.
"May I repeat that?" said Rachel. A blow to the left side of her face made her double over in pain. Artemis was breathing hard, clutching his fist.
"How DARE you, you snobbish---" She stopped, then, lifting her own fist punched him in the face. Artemis was going to have a very interesting face in the morning. Well.afternoon.
"Children, please!" said Dumbledore.
"Children?" shouted Artemis. "CHILDREN?" he had finally cracked.
"Get your glasses fixed, you ugly old geezer!" said Rachel.
"Excuse ME!" gasped Dumbledore.
"Uh.Professor?" said Angeline. "The body?"
"Oh yes," nodded the Headmaster.
"But." Michelle stared at the still body of Severus Snape. Rachel glanced at her, then at Angeline, and finally, raised her hand, twirling her finger round the side of her head. Michelle sniggered. But at that split second, Snape's face turned a deathly white, and his pulse slowed. Dumbledore rushed over to his staff, checking the man's wrist. It was icy, and clammy.
When Dumbledore stood up again, his bright eyes were suspicious.
"Miss Tan," he said, gravely. "Please repeat your alibi."
"Alibi?" asked Angeline. "All I said was that we heard noises, then, coming down the stairs, we saw the disappearing tail of something. I think it must have been the Basilisk, because Snape was just lying there."
"Oh really?" said Dumbledore. "Because if that was so, Severus Snape would have been Petrified for a good few minutes before you arrived."
"Yes.?" Angeline nodded her head uncertainly.
"But that is not so," continued Albus Dumbledore. "This man was Petrified half a minute ago."
*
Right. Please, please keep reviewing, and if you haven't reviewed yet, and are reading this, REVIEW! You should know how to review, because.well.obvious reasons, really. So PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ review.