Ah! My Lumbago!
(Never eat too many Twinkies)
'What up with Pikachu, Yo?'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
Ash was in a bad mood. Everyone was giving him weird looks because he was walking around the Pokemon Center with a Pokemon humping his leg. Nurse Joy had gone to the Pharmacy to get more tranquilizer darts. "It's okay Ash. Professor Oak should be able to find something when you send Pikachu to him." Misty assured Ash. "All right. But it's going to take a long time for us to reach Indigo Plateau. Almost 9 months! Can you believe it?" Ash said. "Maybe we shouldn't stop so often to visit those dinky festivals and help people with their silly problems." Brock said. "But that's how you met all those pretty girls." Ash pointed out. "Oh. You're right. Well, maybe just a quick peek at them." Brock suggested. "You know it's not really our fault. It's those dumb Kids WB people who think that they should play a brand new Pokemon Episode, then play a bunch of Johto repeats, and then a new one, and then play a bunch of Johto repeats, and then a new one, and then play a bunch of Johto repeats, and." "We get the point Misty!" Ash yelled. "Fine. It's true." Misty said, crossing her arms.
***************
Later that day, Mrs. Ketchum was still at Professor Oak's house watching some soap operas. "Mrs. Ketchum, can't you do that at your own house?" asked Tracy. "It's much more fun over here." Mrs. Ketchum replied, watching some dumb blonde cry on the TV over her boyfriend which she just found out had 5 other girlfriends. "Then why don't you move here?" Tracy said, trying to be sarcastic. "Oh! What a great idea!" Mrs. Ketchum turned off the TV and ran to the lab. "Professor!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she yelled in a sing song voice. "Ack! Delia! I mean, Mrs. Oak! I mean, Mrs. Ketchum!" Professor Oak said, repeating the same technique he had developed this morning. "Tracy just gave me the greatest idea!" "He did?" Professor Oak said. Tracy ran into the lab. "I was just being sarcastic!" Tracy wailed. "Nonsense!" said Mrs. Ketchum. "Tell me, what did you have for dinner last night?" "Take out Chinese." "And the night before?" "Take out Italian." "And the night before?" "Take out Teriyaki." "And the night before?" "McDonalds." "And the night before?" "Pizza." "See? You're not eating right. Even better to have me around." "What?" Professor Oak said. "I was being sarcastic!" Tracy said again, close to tears. "Tracy suggested that I move in here! And I think I will! I can cook everyone good healthy meals and Mimey can help keep the lab and the house clean, and whenever my son wants some help about his pokemon, I can see him!" "I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I-.." Said Professor Oak. "I'll bring Mimey over right away." Mrs. Ketchum said. She left the lab. When they heard the front door slam, Professor Oak jumped up in the air and yelled, "Score!!!!!!! Ow! Ah! My Lumbago!"
************
Professor Oak cleared out his paper work and dirty clothes from the guest room and allowed Mrs. Ketchum to move in. Tracy was upset. He didn't like having women in the house very much. He liked it when it was just him and Professor Oak. But now everything was changing. Tracy slept in Gary's room, and would kip on the couch when Gary was here. The only reason he did that was because Gary locked his door and wouldn't let Tracy a foot near him for. well.. You know. May, Gary's older sister had moved out and had her own apartment, so there were no other special room arrangements. Mimey celebrated by cleaning the entire house, and Mrs. Ketchum made a large meal for everyone in the house. Professor Oak was so nervous and glad that Mrs. Ketchum would be living in his house, he couldn't concentrate on his work. "Dinner's ready!" Mrs. Ketchum called down the stairs to the lab. Professor Oak dropped whatever he was doing and ran up to the kitchen as fast as he could without affecting his lumbago. "Mmmmm! You look yummy, Mrs. Ketchum. I mean, this looks good Mrs. Ketchum." Professor Oak said. "Why thank you!" She said. Tracy trudged into the kitchen and sat in the farthest chair away from Mrs. Ketchum. Just then, someone came in the door. "Yo! What up homies and homie G! I just got in from doing my Pokemon crap! And I thought I would drop by." "Gary?" said Professor Oak. "GARY!!!!!!!" said Tracy, in a loving way. Tracy leapt out of his seat and went up to Gary, his hands moving in a groping way. "Hey you ho-bag! Get yo' hands off my ass!" Gary said, fleeing to the other side of the room. Tracy burst into tears and ran off. The words 'no man loves me!' could be heard through his sobs. "Well! Gary, what a surprise. Since Tracy is in no mood to eat, you can have his dinner." "What up, Ash's mommy-o!" "Um. So nice to see you Gary." Mrs. Ketchum said. "What are you doing in my frat house, yo?" "YOUR 'frat' house?" said Professor Oak. "I moved in!" Mrs. Ketchum said. "Hooooowie!!!!!" Gary said. "Grandpa's got himself some BOOTY!" "Ahem *cough*" went Professor Oak. Mrs. Ketchum just smiled. "Hey, Gramps. Can I kick the Gay Ho-Bag out of my room?" "Sure.." Professor Oak replied. "Okay. Let me get my bazooka from the shed out back." Gary ran away laughing madly.
**************
"I have a wonderful idea," said Mrs. Ketchum after dinner. "After the dishes are done, we should go see a movie!" "What a great idea! What movies are playing?" said Professor Oak. Just then, Tracy walked in.
"We should see 'Hey Arnold - The movie'." He suggested. "That Arnold sure is HOT!!!! *skiiiissssssh*" Tracy said, licking his finger and making a steam noise. "Gary? Do you want to come to the movies with us?" Mrs. Ketchum asked, through his door. "Damn straight I do, home girl!" Gary flung open his door, skittered around Tracy, giving everyone a good look of his new outfit. He was dressed to look like a rapper. "Should we take my Homie buster-mobile, or Gramps van with the handicapped tag hanging from the rear-view mirror?" "Um. Let's take---" Professor Oak began before Delia blurted out. "Gary's car!!!!! WEEEEEE! I've never been in a Homie Buster-Mobile before!" "Dude, woman. It's just a Volvo." He turned to his grandpa and whispered in his ear, "Dude, your woman gots a fine pootie tang booty." "She's not my woman." Professor Oak said. "By tonight she'll be!" Gary said, slapping his grandpa on the back. "Careful! My lumbago!"
******************
At the movie, Professor Oak and Delia got seats in the back, closer to the speakers. Tracy tried to sit right next to Gary, but Gary was surrounded by the girls who worked at the theater. "Hey babe. I've lost my phone number. Can I have yours?" Gary said to the nearest blonde who immediately wrote it down on his arm. "Talk to yah later hot cakes." He said winking. All the girls fainted around him, creating a perfume barrier between Tracy and the womanly smell wafting around Gary. Tracy sniffed in his seat until the movie started, so he could 'think' about the football headed blonde on the screen. Hee hee hee. "So.. Uh. That was sure some car ride here!" Professor Oak said to Delia. "My ears are still ringing from Gary's bass system." She admitted. "Uh.. Um. Do you mind if I put my arm around you? It helps stretch out my back. It's good for my lumbago." "Oh. All right then." Delia said. "Tee hee." Thought Professor Oak. Seconds later, Mrs. Ketchum asked, "Um, Professor Oak? Is groping my butt good for your lumbago, too?" "Oh yes! VERY good." "Okay." "My doctor also recommends pelvic thrusts." "Really? I've never heard of that as a medical remedy." Mrs. Ketchum said. "Well, it is. Maybe you could.. Um. help me sometime." "All right! I'm always available to help those in need." Mrs. Ketchum said, totally unaware Professor Oak was hitting on her. "Score one for the professor! By tomorrow night I'll be laid! If my lumbago doesn't act up..." He thought.
Later during the movie, Professor Oak began hitting on Mrs. Ketchum again. It was good to strike up a conversation now, when there was no one else in the theater. Gary was making out with the women employees and Tracy was... Welllllll.. Doing something natural but not pleasant to the human ears. So Professor Oak took the chance to talk over the 'sound'. "Did you know, according to my doctor, he thinks lumbago has a link to mouth disease." He told Delia. "Is that so?" "Yes. He uses a special dentist tool to wipe my mouth clear of any invisible mouth germs and other paraphernalia." "How interesting." Delia said. "It's similar to what Gary is doing." "You mean you French the doctor???" "NO!! NO!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Oh." "So.. Uh.... I haven't been to the doctor in a while, so can you try to clear my mouth of any invisible germs and other paraphernalia?" "I don't see what harm it can do." Delia said, leaning in close to the professor.
Oh no!!!!! If only Mrs. Ketchum knew what this lumbago health technique will lead to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gary got tired of making out with the employees, and the movie wasn't that appealing to him, and neither was what Tracy was doing, so he decided to get some snacks from the food bar. As he was leaving the theater, he saw his grandpa and Mrs. Ketchum making out in the back. "Oooooooooooh. Gramps gonna get it on for sure!!!!! Damn he's sly." And went to get popcorn.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'James the Genuine Sno-Kone. Pure-Wholesome-Delicious'
'What up with Pikachu, Yo?'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
Ash was in a bad mood. Everyone was giving him weird looks because he was walking around the Pokemon Center with a Pokemon humping his leg. Nurse Joy had gone to the Pharmacy to get more tranquilizer darts. "It's okay Ash. Professor Oak should be able to find something when you send Pikachu to him." Misty assured Ash. "All right. But it's going to take a long time for us to reach Indigo Plateau. Almost 9 months! Can you believe it?" Ash said. "Maybe we shouldn't stop so often to visit those dinky festivals and help people with their silly problems." Brock said. "But that's how you met all those pretty girls." Ash pointed out. "Oh. You're right. Well, maybe just a quick peek at them." Brock suggested. "You know it's not really our fault. It's those dumb Kids WB people who think that they should play a brand new Pokemon Episode, then play a bunch of Johto repeats, and then a new one, and then play a bunch of Johto repeats, and then a new one, and then play a bunch of Johto repeats, and." "We get the point Misty!" Ash yelled. "Fine. It's true." Misty said, crossing her arms.
***************
Later that day, Mrs. Ketchum was still at Professor Oak's house watching some soap operas. "Mrs. Ketchum, can't you do that at your own house?" asked Tracy. "It's much more fun over here." Mrs. Ketchum replied, watching some dumb blonde cry on the TV over her boyfriend which she just found out had 5 other girlfriends. "Then why don't you move here?" Tracy said, trying to be sarcastic. "Oh! What a great idea!" Mrs. Ketchum turned off the TV and ran to the lab. "Professor!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she yelled in a sing song voice. "Ack! Delia! I mean, Mrs. Oak! I mean, Mrs. Ketchum!" Professor Oak said, repeating the same technique he had developed this morning. "Tracy just gave me the greatest idea!" "He did?" Professor Oak said. Tracy ran into the lab. "I was just being sarcastic!" Tracy wailed. "Nonsense!" said Mrs. Ketchum. "Tell me, what did you have for dinner last night?" "Take out Chinese." "And the night before?" "Take out Italian." "And the night before?" "Take out Teriyaki." "And the night before?" "McDonalds." "And the night before?" "Pizza." "See? You're not eating right. Even better to have me around." "What?" Professor Oak said. "I was being sarcastic!" Tracy said again, close to tears. "Tracy suggested that I move in here! And I think I will! I can cook everyone good healthy meals and Mimey can help keep the lab and the house clean, and whenever my son wants some help about his pokemon, I can see him!" "I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I-.." Said Professor Oak. "I'll bring Mimey over right away." Mrs. Ketchum said. She left the lab. When they heard the front door slam, Professor Oak jumped up in the air and yelled, "Score!!!!!!! Ow! Ah! My Lumbago!"
************
Professor Oak cleared out his paper work and dirty clothes from the guest room and allowed Mrs. Ketchum to move in. Tracy was upset. He didn't like having women in the house very much. He liked it when it was just him and Professor Oak. But now everything was changing. Tracy slept in Gary's room, and would kip on the couch when Gary was here. The only reason he did that was because Gary locked his door and wouldn't let Tracy a foot near him for. well.. You know. May, Gary's older sister had moved out and had her own apartment, so there were no other special room arrangements. Mimey celebrated by cleaning the entire house, and Mrs. Ketchum made a large meal for everyone in the house. Professor Oak was so nervous and glad that Mrs. Ketchum would be living in his house, he couldn't concentrate on his work. "Dinner's ready!" Mrs. Ketchum called down the stairs to the lab. Professor Oak dropped whatever he was doing and ran up to the kitchen as fast as he could without affecting his lumbago. "Mmmmm! You look yummy, Mrs. Ketchum. I mean, this looks good Mrs. Ketchum." Professor Oak said. "Why thank you!" She said. Tracy trudged into the kitchen and sat in the farthest chair away from Mrs. Ketchum. Just then, someone came in the door. "Yo! What up homies and homie G! I just got in from doing my Pokemon crap! And I thought I would drop by." "Gary?" said Professor Oak. "GARY!!!!!!!" said Tracy, in a loving way. Tracy leapt out of his seat and went up to Gary, his hands moving in a groping way. "Hey you ho-bag! Get yo' hands off my ass!" Gary said, fleeing to the other side of the room. Tracy burst into tears and ran off. The words 'no man loves me!' could be heard through his sobs. "Well! Gary, what a surprise. Since Tracy is in no mood to eat, you can have his dinner." "What up, Ash's mommy-o!" "Um. So nice to see you Gary." Mrs. Ketchum said. "What are you doing in my frat house, yo?" "YOUR 'frat' house?" said Professor Oak. "I moved in!" Mrs. Ketchum said. "Hooooowie!!!!!" Gary said. "Grandpa's got himself some BOOTY!" "Ahem *cough*" went Professor Oak. Mrs. Ketchum just smiled. "Hey, Gramps. Can I kick the Gay Ho-Bag out of my room?" "Sure.." Professor Oak replied. "Okay. Let me get my bazooka from the shed out back." Gary ran away laughing madly.
**************
"I have a wonderful idea," said Mrs. Ketchum after dinner. "After the dishes are done, we should go see a movie!" "What a great idea! What movies are playing?" said Professor Oak. Just then, Tracy walked in.
"We should see 'Hey Arnold - The movie'." He suggested. "That Arnold sure is HOT!!!! *skiiiissssssh*" Tracy said, licking his finger and making a steam noise. "Gary? Do you want to come to the movies with us?" Mrs. Ketchum asked, through his door. "Damn straight I do, home girl!" Gary flung open his door, skittered around Tracy, giving everyone a good look of his new outfit. He was dressed to look like a rapper. "Should we take my Homie buster-mobile, or Gramps van with the handicapped tag hanging from the rear-view mirror?" "Um. Let's take---" Professor Oak began before Delia blurted out. "Gary's car!!!!! WEEEEEE! I've never been in a Homie Buster-Mobile before!" "Dude, woman. It's just a Volvo." He turned to his grandpa and whispered in his ear, "Dude, your woman gots a fine pootie tang booty." "She's not my woman." Professor Oak said. "By tonight she'll be!" Gary said, slapping his grandpa on the back. "Careful! My lumbago!"
******************
At the movie, Professor Oak and Delia got seats in the back, closer to the speakers. Tracy tried to sit right next to Gary, but Gary was surrounded by the girls who worked at the theater. "Hey babe. I've lost my phone number. Can I have yours?" Gary said to the nearest blonde who immediately wrote it down on his arm. "Talk to yah later hot cakes." He said winking. All the girls fainted around him, creating a perfume barrier between Tracy and the womanly smell wafting around Gary. Tracy sniffed in his seat until the movie started, so he could 'think' about the football headed blonde on the screen. Hee hee hee. "So.. Uh. That was sure some car ride here!" Professor Oak said to Delia. "My ears are still ringing from Gary's bass system." She admitted. "Uh.. Um. Do you mind if I put my arm around you? It helps stretch out my back. It's good for my lumbago." "Oh. All right then." Delia said. "Tee hee." Thought Professor Oak. Seconds later, Mrs. Ketchum asked, "Um, Professor Oak? Is groping my butt good for your lumbago, too?" "Oh yes! VERY good." "Okay." "My doctor also recommends pelvic thrusts." "Really? I've never heard of that as a medical remedy." Mrs. Ketchum said. "Well, it is. Maybe you could.. Um. help me sometime." "All right! I'm always available to help those in need." Mrs. Ketchum said, totally unaware Professor Oak was hitting on her. "Score one for the professor! By tomorrow night I'll be laid! If my lumbago doesn't act up..." He thought.
Later during the movie, Professor Oak began hitting on Mrs. Ketchum again. It was good to strike up a conversation now, when there was no one else in the theater. Gary was making out with the women employees and Tracy was... Welllllll.. Doing something natural but not pleasant to the human ears. So Professor Oak took the chance to talk over the 'sound'. "Did you know, according to my doctor, he thinks lumbago has a link to mouth disease." He told Delia. "Is that so?" "Yes. He uses a special dentist tool to wipe my mouth clear of any invisible mouth germs and other paraphernalia." "How interesting." Delia said. "It's similar to what Gary is doing." "You mean you French the doctor???" "NO!! NO!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Oh." "So.. Uh.... I haven't been to the doctor in a while, so can you try to clear my mouth of any invisible germs and other paraphernalia?" "I don't see what harm it can do." Delia said, leaning in close to the professor.
Oh no!!!!! If only Mrs. Ketchum knew what this lumbago health technique will lead to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gary got tired of making out with the employees, and the movie wasn't that appealing to him, and neither was what Tracy was doing, so he decided to get some snacks from the food bar. As he was leaving the theater, he saw his grandpa and Mrs. Ketchum making out in the back. "Oooooooooooh. Gramps gonna get it on for sure!!!!! Damn he's sly." And went to get popcorn.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'James the Genuine Sno-Kone. Pure-Wholesome-Delicious'