Ah! My Lumbago!
(Never eat too many Twinkies)
'James the Genuine Sno-Kone. Pure-Wholesome-Delicious'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
Today our friends were walking to the next nearest Pokemon center. They were trying to get a head start to the next gym. But little did they know, that Team Rocket was creating a new plan to capture Pikachu. "Sno-Kones!!!!!!!!!" James said, dancing around dressed like a snow cone complete with a cone bra. "Ice cold!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get your Sno-Kones here!!!!!!!!" Jessie and Meowth were making snow cones off the side of a road. They were hoping to capture Pikachu after getting the twerp and his friends to stop for an ice cold treat. "Meowth! Don't get your fur in the snow!" Jessie yelled at the Pokemon. "Sorry! Hey! Look, here comes the twerps!!!!!!!" He said, elbowing Jessie's leg. "Act natural!" Jessie told Meowth. "James! Say your lines now!" James began to dance around the booth and the path, his cone's on his chest swaying to and fro. "Sno-Kones!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sno-Kones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only 50 cents!!!!!!! Over 69 flavors!!!!! Featuring Pikachu Pee, Clefairy Crap, and the Starmie Suicide!!!!!" "James!!!!!!!!!!!! Not that line!!!!!!!!!!! The OTHER one!!!!" "Oh." James said. The twerps were now very close to the booth. "Hey look! Sno-Kones!!!!!!" Ash said. "Hey look! A guy wearing a cone bra!" Brock said. "ANYONE WITH A CHIKORITA HUMPING THEIR LEG GETS A FREE SNO-KONE!" James yelled with a final twirl. "You sir! Would you like to receive a FREE sno-kone because it's 'Give a Free Sno-Kone to Anyone with A Chikorita Humping Their Leg Day!'" "Wow! Totally awesome. Gee thanks Miss.ter." "Which flavor would you like young twerp, I mean man?" "Um... How about Jigglypuff Grape Jam?" Ash asked. "How about, our Hump Buddie Extreme!?!?!?!?!?!" Jessie and James said, throwing off their costumes. James still had his cone bra on. "Prepare for trouble!" "Make it double!" "To protect the world from devastation!" "To unite all peoples within our nation!" "To denouce the evils of truth and love! "And extend our reach to the stars above!" "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket humping - I mean - blasting off at the speed of light." "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" "Meowth, that's right!" said Meowth. "It's you guys!!!!!!!!!" Misty said. "Yes! Mu ha ha ha ha! Yes! It is us!!!!!!! And we are going to steal your Pika. chu. Hey, where is Pikachu?" "He was tranquilized last night and we have to keep him in a Poke ball." Ash explained. "Aw man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, we'll still fight you for the ball!" Jessie said. "Arbok go!" Jessie yelled. "Go Cyndaquil!" Ash yelled. "Poison sting attack!" The Arbok charged at Cyndaquil before being knocked out by it's Flamethrower attack. "Go Victrebell!" James yelled, sending out the Pokemon. It immediately engulfed him and humped him from the inside. "Awwwwwwwwwwww! Nooooooooooooo!" James yelled. "Tackle attack!" said Ash and soon... "Team Rocket's humping off again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *ting* went Team Rocket as they were blasted away.
Team Rocket landed in from of the Team Rocket headquarters. "My arse!!!!!!" James wailed. "Dry your tears. We have to report to the Boss." So they entered through the thick metal doors and past all the hippie like items strewn over the headquarters. They knocked on their boss' door and went in. Giovanni was sitting on the floor in front of a large contraption with smoke furling out of the top. He was sucking on a small hose like thingie. "Ah! Jessie and James! What brings you here?" Giovanni said. "We tried yet again to capture Pikachu, but it failed. We had too much leftover ice from our snow cones, so we decided to bring it to you." James said. Jessie set the cooler of ice next to the bong. "*ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss* Ahhhh.." went Giovanni, taking a long draw from his bong. "Sir? What is that?" "Um.. None of your concern. Thank you for the ice. Now LEAVE!!!!!!" Giovanni yelled. Team Rocket scattered. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Giovanni said, taking another huff on his bong.
***************
The next day, Mrs. Ketchum woke up bright and early and started to make breakfast. She was still in her see through night gown. Professor Oak walked into the kitchen, woozy from his lumbago medicine. "Hoooooooooooooly!" Professor Oak said. "Oh good morning Professor! Would you like some coffee?" she said, turning around and holding up the coffee pot. Professor Oak's mouth dropped open. "That and something else!!!!!!!" he said. Delia looked at him, and then poured him a cup of coffee. "Say. Delia. I was thinking. It would be nice to go out to dinner." Professor Oak said. "Oh, Professor! Do you think Tracy and Gary would cooperate at dinner?" "Tracy and Gary? I was.. Thinking.. Just us." He said. "Like a date?" Mrs. Ketchum said, leaning down to hand him his coffee. He immediately shifted in his seat to look down her top. "Well. Yes. You wouldn't mind, would you?" "Oh no. I think it would be fun! I haven't been on a date in years!!!!!" Delia said. Professor Oak almost spat out his coffee. "So you mean you won't mind?" "Of course not!" "And then later.. You could help me with my lumbago techniques." "Okay. Where should we go for dinner?" "Perhaps a fancy restaurant. There's one that also take Pokemon." "Oh how cute! I'll bring Mimie!" Mrs. Ketchum was feeling very happy. She had never been so excited before. She gave Professor Oak a hug. He fell out of his chair.
*************
Evening was falling and our heroes were at the next Pokemon Center. Chikorita was off of Ash's leg and safely in her Pokeball. Ash was over at the Pokemon transporter and had Pikachu in his locked Pokeball ready to go to Pallet Town. He turned on the Transporter Viewer and dialed Professor Oak's number. Tracy answered the phone. "Ugh! It's you! I mean. Hi. Is Professor Oak there?" "Oh yes! Hey Ash." Tracy winked at Ash. "Can you please get the Professor for me?" Ash said. "Sure." Tracy said. Professor Oak came into view, straightening his lab coat collar. "Hello Ash! Are you ready to send Pikachu over?" he asked. "Yeah.. Um, professor? What's that on your face? Is that lipstick?" Ash asked. Professor Oak rubbed frantically at his face. "Ummm.. Why don't you put Pikachu in the transporter?" Professor Oak said. Ash put the Pokeball in the transporter and turned to the screen. "Okay." Ash said. Professor Oak pressed a button. "Hi sweetie!" Mrs. Ketchum came onto the screen, wearing the same color of lipstick that was on Professor Oak's face. "Uh. Mom? What were you and Professor Oak doing?" Ash asked. "I was checking Professor Oak's mouth in one of the many techniques to help his lumbago." She said. Professor Oak went red and coughed. "Yes. well. Ah! Pikachu has arrived!" Professor Oak held up the Pokeball. He pressed a button and it opened. Pikachu came out, looking very angry. "Pika!!!!!!!!!!!!" he said. "Calm down, Pikachu. Everything's going to be okay!" Ash said. "Professor Oak just wants your help." Pikachu looked at Professor Oak. "Pikachu." Pikachu said. He looked at Mrs. Ketchum. "PIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!" He said and started humping her leg. "Oh my goodness!" Mrs. Ketchum said. "I see what you mean. Well, I have plenty of tranquilizers. I'll get started on the research after dinner, dancing, and the lumbago therapy your mom will be giving me." Professor Oak said. "Dinner? Dancing? Therapy?" Ash said. "Me and Professor Oak are going on a date." Mrs. Ketchum said. Ash blinked his eyes, thinking that maybe Brock's dinner was making him hear things. "I think I'm going to lay down. Have fun with Pikachu." Ash said. He hung up the phone.
Professor Oak tranquilized Pikachu and put him in the solitary confinement Pokemon chamber with surveillance cameras to monitor his behavior. Then Professor Oak and Delia got in the van with the blue handicapped tag hanging from the rear view mirror. Little did they know they had a stow-away. "Finally." Gary said, reclining back in front of the tube. "Peace and quiet."
At the restaurant, Professor and Delia ate their meal in peace, with the occasional happy noise from Mimey. Nearby.. "So.. You work here?" Tracy said to his waiter. "Yeah." The waiter said, eyeing him. "Can I take your order?" "Oh yes you can!" Tracy said, winking at the waiter. "I'll have you." Tracy made a purring noise. "Um. Sir, will you please excuse me for a moment?" the waiter said. "Anything for you." "Right.." The waiter fled, and a fat lady with a moustache came to take his order instead. Tracy slouched in his seat. "So... Why don't we try the pelvic thrust tonight?" Professor Oak said, attempting to play footsy with Delia, but instead, Mimey was sounding like it was going to cry and was trying to get away from him. "All right." Mrs. Ketchum said.
They got back home (Tracy had to catch a cab), and headed off to Professor Oak's room. Gary had let Pikachu out because he couldn't stand all the flashing light coming from the confinement room. Pikachu had been using his Thunder attack. So Gary and Pikachu were eavesdropping on the Professor and Ash's mom. Tracy wanted to join, but Gary told him off. "Dude, juwanna man?" "Uh huh." Tracy said, nodding his head,. "Then here you go." Gary handed Tracy Pikachu, and Pikachu started humping Tracy's leg. Tracy began to cry. "Oh Pikachu! I never thought you cared for me that way!" Pikachu stopped humping the leg, and then hopped off. "Pika?" Pikachu said, before running back to Gary. Tracy began to cry and fled to his room. Pikachu then somehow made his way into the professor's room. "Noooooooooo! You can't join in my 'therapy'!!!!" the Professor yelled. Pikachu was then thrown out of the room and the lock turned.
The next day, Gary was watching Hamtaro and eating his cereal, dripping milk down his bling blingin' shirt. Professor Oak walked into the room. "Hey Gramps, did you remember your protection?" Gary asked. Professor Oak didn't answer. "And don't forget you have a doctor's appointment today. They called earlier." Gary said. "Who has a doctor's appointment?" Mrs. Ketchum said, walking into the kitchen. "Your hump buddie does." Gary said. "Pikachu?" Mrs. Ketchum said. "No. Me." Professor Oak said, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Oooooooooh! Professor! I knew you liked me! And all along I had this feeling you were just trying to get me in bed with you! Silly me. I never realized your lumbago required such delicate care!" Mrs. Ketchum kissed him. "Aw.." Professor Oak said. "I'll make everyone breakfast. Gary, are you going to come to the hospital with us?" "I dunno, Mrs. Oak." Gary said, throwing his grandfather a look. "I think I might come along. Some of those nurses have some nice jabooties." "I'll come too!" Tracy said. "I wanted to discuss something with a doctor." "All right." Mrs. Ketchum said, and began to make dinner.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'The Mysterious Abercrombie & Fitch Male Catalog Models'
'James the Genuine Sno-Kone. Pure-Wholesome-Delicious'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
Today our friends were walking to the next nearest Pokemon center. They were trying to get a head start to the next gym. But little did they know, that Team Rocket was creating a new plan to capture Pikachu. "Sno-Kones!!!!!!!!!" James said, dancing around dressed like a snow cone complete with a cone bra. "Ice cold!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get your Sno-Kones here!!!!!!!!" Jessie and Meowth were making snow cones off the side of a road. They were hoping to capture Pikachu after getting the twerp and his friends to stop for an ice cold treat. "Meowth! Don't get your fur in the snow!" Jessie yelled at the Pokemon. "Sorry! Hey! Look, here comes the twerps!!!!!!!" He said, elbowing Jessie's leg. "Act natural!" Jessie told Meowth. "James! Say your lines now!" James began to dance around the booth and the path, his cone's on his chest swaying to and fro. "Sno-Kones!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sno-Kones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only 50 cents!!!!!!! Over 69 flavors!!!!! Featuring Pikachu Pee, Clefairy Crap, and the Starmie Suicide!!!!!" "James!!!!!!!!!!!! Not that line!!!!!!!!!!! The OTHER one!!!!" "Oh." James said. The twerps were now very close to the booth. "Hey look! Sno-Kones!!!!!!" Ash said. "Hey look! A guy wearing a cone bra!" Brock said. "ANYONE WITH A CHIKORITA HUMPING THEIR LEG GETS A FREE SNO-KONE!" James yelled with a final twirl. "You sir! Would you like to receive a FREE sno-kone because it's 'Give a Free Sno-Kone to Anyone with A Chikorita Humping Their Leg Day!'" "Wow! Totally awesome. Gee thanks Miss.ter." "Which flavor would you like young twerp, I mean man?" "Um... How about Jigglypuff Grape Jam?" Ash asked. "How about, our Hump Buddie Extreme!?!?!?!?!?!" Jessie and James said, throwing off their costumes. James still had his cone bra on. "Prepare for trouble!" "Make it double!" "To protect the world from devastation!" "To unite all peoples within our nation!" "To denouce the evils of truth and love! "And extend our reach to the stars above!" "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket humping - I mean - blasting off at the speed of light." "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" "Meowth, that's right!" said Meowth. "It's you guys!!!!!!!!!" Misty said. "Yes! Mu ha ha ha ha! Yes! It is us!!!!!!! And we are going to steal your Pika. chu. Hey, where is Pikachu?" "He was tranquilized last night and we have to keep him in a Poke ball." Ash explained. "Aw man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, we'll still fight you for the ball!" Jessie said. "Arbok go!" Jessie yelled. "Go Cyndaquil!" Ash yelled. "Poison sting attack!" The Arbok charged at Cyndaquil before being knocked out by it's Flamethrower attack. "Go Victrebell!" James yelled, sending out the Pokemon. It immediately engulfed him and humped him from the inside. "Awwwwwwwwwwww! Nooooooooooooo!" James yelled. "Tackle attack!" said Ash and soon... "Team Rocket's humping off again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *ting* went Team Rocket as they were blasted away.
Team Rocket landed in from of the Team Rocket headquarters. "My arse!!!!!!" James wailed. "Dry your tears. We have to report to the Boss." So they entered through the thick metal doors and past all the hippie like items strewn over the headquarters. They knocked on their boss' door and went in. Giovanni was sitting on the floor in front of a large contraption with smoke furling out of the top. He was sucking on a small hose like thingie. "Ah! Jessie and James! What brings you here?" Giovanni said. "We tried yet again to capture Pikachu, but it failed. We had too much leftover ice from our snow cones, so we decided to bring it to you." James said. Jessie set the cooler of ice next to the bong. "*ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss* Ahhhh.." went Giovanni, taking a long draw from his bong. "Sir? What is that?" "Um.. None of your concern. Thank you for the ice. Now LEAVE!!!!!!" Giovanni yelled. Team Rocket scattered. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Giovanni said, taking another huff on his bong.
***************
The next day, Mrs. Ketchum woke up bright and early and started to make breakfast. She was still in her see through night gown. Professor Oak walked into the kitchen, woozy from his lumbago medicine. "Hoooooooooooooly!" Professor Oak said. "Oh good morning Professor! Would you like some coffee?" she said, turning around and holding up the coffee pot. Professor Oak's mouth dropped open. "That and something else!!!!!!!" he said. Delia looked at him, and then poured him a cup of coffee. "Say. Delia. I was thinking. It would be nice to go out to dinner." Professor Oak said. "Oh, Professor! Do you think Tracy and Gary would cooperate at dinner?" "Tracy and Gary? I was.. Thinking.. Just us." He said. "Like a date?" Mrs. Ketchum said, leaning down to hand him his coffee. He immediately shifted in his seat to look down her top. "Well. Yes. You wouldn't mind, would you?" "Oh no. I think it would be fun! I haven't been on a date in years!!!!!" Delia said. Professor Oak almost spat out his coffee. "So you mean you won't mind?" "Of course not!" "And then later.. You could help me with my lumbago techniques." "Okay. Where should we go for dinner?" "Perhaps a fancy restaurant. There's one that also take Pokemon." "Oh how cute! I'll bring Mimie!" Mrs. Ketchum was feeling very happy. She had never been so excited before. She gave Professor Oak a hug. He fell out of his chair.
*************
Evening was falling and our heroes were at the next Pokemon Center. Chikorita was off of Ash's leg and safely in her Pokeball. Ash was over at the Pokemon transporter and had Pikachu in his locked Pokeball ready to go to Pallet Town. He turned on the Transporter Viewer and dialed Professor Oak's number. Tracy answered the phone. "Ugh! It's you! I mean. Hi. Is Professor Oak there?" "Oh yes! Hey Ash." Tracy winked at Ash. "Can you please get the Professor for me?" Ash said. "Sure." Tracy said. Professor Oak came into view, straightening his lab coat collar. "Hello Ash! Are you ready to send Pikachu over?" he asked. "Yeah.. Um, professor? What's that on your face? Is that lipstick?" Ash asked. Professor Oak rubbed frantically at his face. "Ummm.. Why don't you put Pikachu in the transporter?" Professor Oak said. Ash put the Pokeball in the transporter and turned to the screen. "Okay." Ash said. Professor Oak pressed a button. "Hi sweetie!" Mrs. Ketchum came onto the screen, wearing the same color of lipstick that was on Professor Oak's face. "Uh. Mom? What were you and Professor Oak doing?" Ash asked. "I was checking Professor Oak's mouth in one of the many techniques to help his lumbago." She said. Professor Oak went red and coughed. "Yes. well. Ah! Pikachu has arrived!" Professor Oak held up the Pokeball. He pressed a button and it opened. Pikachu came out, looking very angry. "Pika!!!!!!!!!!!!" he said. "Calm down, Pikachu. Everything's going to be okay!" Ash said. "Professor Oak just wants your help." Pikachu looked at Professor Oak. "Pikachu." Pikachu said. He looked at Mrs. Ketchum. "PIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!" He said and started humping her leg. "Oh my goodness!" Mrs. Ketchum said. "I see what you mean. Well, I have plenty of tranquilizers. I'll get started on the research after dinner, dancing, and the lumbago therapy your mom will be giving me." Professor Oak said. "Dinner? Dancing? Therapy?" Ash said. "Me and Professor Oak are going on a date." Mrs. Ketchum said. Ash blinked his eyes, thinking that maybe Brock's dinner was making him hear things. "I think I'm going to lay down. Have fun with Pikachu." Ash said. He hung up the phone.
Professor Oak tranquilized Pikachu and put him in the solitary confinement Pokemon chamber with surveillance cameras to monitor his behavior. Then Professor Oak and Delia got in the van with the blue handicapped tag hanging from the rear view mirror. Little did they know they had a stow-away. "Finally." Gary said, reclining back in front of the tube. "Peace and quiet."
At the restaurant, Professor and Delia ate their meal in peace, with the occasional happy noise from Mimey. Nearby.. "So.. You work here?" Tracy said to his waiter. "Yeah." The waiter said, eyeing him. "Can I take your order?" "Oh yes you can!" Tracy said, winking at the waiter. "I'll have you." Tracy made a purring noise. "Um. Sir, will you please excuse me for a moment?" the waiter said. "Anything for you." "Right.." The waiter fled, and a fat lady with a moustache came to take his order instead. Tracy slouched in his seat. "So... Why don't we try the pelvic thrust tonight?" Professor Oak said, attempting to play footsy with Delia, but instead, Mimey was sounding like it was going to cry and was trying to get away from him. "All right." Mrs. Ketchum said.
They got back home (Tracy had to catch a cab), and headed off to Professor Oak's room. Gary had let Pikachu out because he couldn't stand all the flashing light coming from the confinement room. Pikachu had been using his Thunder attack. So Gary and Pikachu were eavesdropping on the Professor and Ash's mom. Tracy wanted to join, but Gary told him off. "Dude, juwanna man?" "Uh huh." Tracy said, nodding his head,. "Then here you go." Gary handed Tracy Pikachu, and Pikachu started humping Tracy's leg. Tracy began to cry. "Oh Pikachu! I never thought you cared for me that way!" Pikachu stopped humping the leg, and then hopped off. "Pika?" Pikachu said, before running back to Gary. Tracy began to cry and fled to his room. Pikachu then somehow made his way into the professor's room. "Noooooooooo! You can't join in my 'therapy'!!!!" the Professor yelled. Pikachu was then thrown out of the room and the lock turned.
The next day, Gary was watching Hamtaro and eating his cereal, dripping milk down his bling blingin' shirt. Professor Oak walked into the room. "Hey Gramps, did you remember your protection?" Gary asked. Professor Oak didn't answer. "And don't forget you have a doctor's appointment today. They called earlier." Gary said. "Who has a doctor's appointment?" Mrs. Ketchum said, walking into the kitchen. "Your hump buddie does." Gary said. "Pikachu?" Mrs. Ketchum said. "No. Me." Professor Oak said, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Oooooooooh! Professor! I knew you liked me! And all along I had this feeling you were just trying to get me in bed with you! Silly me. I never realized your lumbago required such delicate care!" Mrs. Ketchum kissed him. "Aw.." Professor Oak said. "I'll make everyone breakfast. Gary, are you going to come to the hospital with us?" "I dunno, Mrs. Oak." Gary said, throwing his grandfather a look. "I think I might come along. Some of those nurses have some nice jabooties." "I'll come too!" Tracy said. "I wanted to discuss something with a doctor." "All right." Mrs. Ketchum said, and began to make dinner.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'The Mysterious Abercrombie & Fitch Male Catalog Models'