Ah! My Lumbago!
(Never eat too many Twinkies)
'The Mysterious Abercrombie & Fitch Male Catalog Models'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
Professor Oak pulled into the nearest handicapped place in the parking lot. "You can just wait in the waiting room." Professor Oak told Delia. "Nonsense! It's just a doctor's appointment, I can go in with you!" Professor Oak went red. "Helllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooo Nurse!" Gary said, running after a nurse who was heading towards the pediatric ward. "Hey! You work with kids? If you and me get together, we can make kids too!" they heard him say. "Tracy, me and the Professor are going down to the doctor's office. You can ask the front desk what you want." Delia said. "All right." Tracy said. The couple went off. "May I help you sir?" "Uh.. Yeah. I was... Interested in a.... a um.." "A what sir?" "A sperm donation." Tracy blurted. "Oh! Well, we always welcome donors." The lady behind the desk said. "Second floor, third door on the left." Tracy hurried away.
"All right Samuel, have you been taking your aspirin?" asked the nurse as the doctor got his medication ready. "Yes." Professor Oak answered. "And have you been keeping your back straight with the brace we've given you?" "Most of the time, yes." "And. Mrs. Ketchum? Are you all right? You don't look to good." "Oh I'm fine." Mrs. Ketchum said. "Are you sure?" asked the doctor, holding up a big needle. "Is the scent of the medication making you a bit woozy?" "Well, I do feel dizzy. But I don't like shots.." Mrs. Ketchum admitted, eyeing the needle. "Lisa, will you take Mrs. Ketchum to another office and check for any signs of viruses in the blood stream?" the doctor asked. "Of course. Come with me, Mrs. Ketchum. We'll just take a small quick blood sample and a check up." "All right."
"Now Mr. Sketchit, the donating process is very simple." Said the nurse, handing Tracy a blue flowered gown to change into. "Um..." Tracy said. "Oh don't worry, Mr. Sketchit. I won't look." Said the nurse. "Well, it's just that... That.. I prefer the MALE nurses." Tracy said. "Ooooooooh. One of these type of cases. I'll be back." The nurse said and left the room. A male nurse came in. "All right, Mr. Sketchit." "Please. Call me Tracy." Tracy said. "All right Tracy. I'm going to attach this to your little friend and turn this machine on and it'll take all that's needed." "Male catalog models from Abercrombie and Fitch would help better than this machine with me." Tracy said. "Uh. Well. I'll get some then. The candy stripers keep some in the lounge." The male nurse left.
"Wheeeeeeeee Heeee Heeee! Come to daddy!!!!!!!!" Gary yelled, chasing after the teen girls in the pink striped suits. The male nurse skirted around the girls and grabbed some magazine off of the table and returned to the room. "Here you go." The male nurse said. "Thanks, love." Tracy said. The male nurse turned around. "Well. You can get on with it. We thank you for your donation." The nurse said. "Oh yeah! Ooooooooh yeah! Baby, show me those fall fashions!!!!!" Tracy said, doing the dirty. "I'll leave you to your duties." The doctor said, fleeing the office.
Mrs. Ketchum and the nurse returned to the room where Professor Oak was given a large arthritis shot to help his lumbago. "Well! We have a very interesting report." Lisa said to the doctor. Professor Oak clung to his hospital smock and hid his butt from the intruding nurse. "All right? What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Mrs. Ketchum appears to be pregnant!" "I'm what?" Mrs. Ketchum said. "She's what? Whoo hoo!!!!!!! Wait!!! What?" Professor Oak said. "I think you need some explaining to do." The doctor told Professor Oak. "Can I put my pants on first?" The doctor handed Professor Oak his pants. "Due to our latest technology, the results of the blood sample showed no viruses, but she is just recently pregnant." Lisa turned and looked at Professor Oak. "It was therapy! Therapy!!!!!!!! She was helping me with my lumbago therapy!" "Yes. It's a very delicate procedure, that pelvic thrust." Mrs. Ketchum added in. "My therapist suggested all of this." Professor Oak said. "But, Samuel. Not only am I your doctor, I'm also your therapist and did not assign such outlandish pelvic thrust therapy procedures." The doctor said. Professor Oak was silent. "It was probably just a simple misunderstanding." Mrs. Ketchum said. "After all, I know that the professor really does love me." Mrs. Ketchum blew Professor Oak a kiss. He went very red. "So what are you two going to do now?" asked the doctor. "Not tell my son." Mrs. Ketchum immediately said. "Not tell my grandson." Professor Oak said. Lisa and the doctor looked at each other. 'Grandson?' Lisa was thinking. "Well. I guess I should schedule Mrs. Ketchum an appointment a few months from now." The doctor said, scribbling in his notebook. "All right. I'll see you in a couple of months. I'll have my secretary contact you." The doctor said. Professor Oak, fully dressed, and Delia left the office. "Now what?" Delia asked. "I don't know. I haven't had a kid in ages." "Me neither. But you're older than me." "You're right... Want to get married?" "Okay. This kid will need a good father." "Hee hee." Professor Oak laughed evilly. "This will make Ash Gary's step uncle!" "But they won't find out until later." Mrs. Future Oak kissed Professor Oak.
***********
Professor Oak attached Pikachu to a bunch of wires and began his research. "Anything coming up on the monitor?" Tracy asked, walking into the lab, still leafing through the Abercrombie & Fitch magazines he sneaked from the hospital. "Nope." Professor Oak said, typing away while Pikachu strained against the ropes binding him to the examination table. "Tracy, please tranquilize the pokemon so we can send it back to Ash. And have him send another pokemon." "All right!" Tracy said, throwing the magazines aside and grabbing a tranquilizer dart and inserting it into Pikachu. Tracy called the nearest Pokemon center and asked the Nurse Joy to tell Ash when he came in to call Professor Oak's lab. "Thank you!" Nurse Joy said. Tracy hung up and grumbled.
Meanwhile:
"Hey look Ash! Some person stranded on the side of the road that's having a problem with their pokemon! Let's help them." Misty said. "Hey man, what's up?" Brock asked. "Nothing much, It's just that my pokemon won't stop humping my leg." The kid said. "Mmm hmm. Seems like we have a similar problem." Ash said. "My pokemon started humping my girlfriend, and my Chikorita is still stuck to my leg." Ash said. "My Vulpix won't stop humping my leg." The kid said, showing Ash his right leg. "You should come with us to the next Pokemon center. We're stopping there so I can get my Chikorita off my leg and get my Pikachu back." "What happened to your Pikachu?" "I sent him to my friend Professor Oak so he could see if he could determine a diagnosis for it." "Oh. I'm Bobby." Said the kid. "I'm Ash. This is Misty, my girlfriend. And our friend Brock." "Hi. Now let's head over to the Pokemon center." Bobby said, hobbling along as awkward as Ash.
"Honey!!!!!!" Delia said, running into the lab. "What do you think of 'Xalidorf' for a name for the baby?" "Uh... Maybe something less complicated." Professor Oak said. "What baby?" Tracy asked. Delia and Professor Oak looked at each other. "Nothing!" they both said. "Okay." Just then the phone rang. "Hello?" Tracy said into the video phone. "Hey. I got the message that I had to call." Ash said, avoiding eye contact with Tracy. "Hi Ash." Tracy said. "Yeah. Hi. Can you send Pikachu now?" he asked. "Sure. And the professor wants you to send another pokemon for research. He really couldn't find anything wrong with Pikachu, only that it started humping your mom." "It did? Aw man! That pokemon is going to be grounded." Ash said. "Yeah, well. Pikachu also ticked off Professor Oak when he interrupted your mom and him." Ash raised his eyebrows. "What were they doing?" Bobby came on the screen. "Hi!" Bobby said. "Nevermind Tracy. Mom and Professor Oak always hang out. It keeps her from being lonely." "Helloooooooo!" Tracy said to Bobby. "What's your name hot stuff?" "Uh. Bobby." Bobby said. "Go! You don't want to be involved with Tracy." Ash hissed to his new friend. "Oh. Bye." Bobby said and ran off. "I'll send you Bulbasaur." Ash said. Tracy sent Pikachu back to Ash and a bunch of tranquilizer darts. Ash sent Bulbasaur. "Bye." Ash said and immediately hung up. "What pokemon did Ash send?" Professor Oak asked. "His Bulbasaur." Tracy said, holding up the Poke ball. "It also seems like Ash and his friends stopped once again to help a trainer in need." Tracy said. Professor Oak rolled his eyes. "That's nice." Delia said. "Sweetums, should we invite the Viridian City Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny to the wedding?" she asked, rummaging around his desk for a pen and a piece of paper. "Wedding?" Tracy said. "You mean.. You're.. Wedding?" "Shhh! Don't tell Gary." Professor Oak said. Tracy fainted. "Oh dear!" Mrs. Ketchum said. "It's okay. We'll get one of the water pokemon to revive him." Professor Oak said.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'Hot and steamy!!! Like Cinnamon Altoids!'
'The Mysterious Abercrombie & Fitch Male Catalog Models'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
Professor Oak pulled into the nearest handicapped place in the parking lot. "You can just wait in the waiting room." Professor Oak told Delia. "Nonsense! It's just a doctor's appointment, I can go in with you!" Professor Oak went red. "Helllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooo Nurse!" Gary said, running after a nurse who was heading towards the pediatric ward. "Hey! You work with kids? If you and me get together, we can make kids too!" they heard him say. "Tracy, me and the Professor are going down to the doctor's office. You can ask the front desk what you want." Delia said. "All right." Tracy said. The couple went off. "May I help you sir?" "Uh.. Yeah. I was... Interested in a.... a um.." "A what sir?" "A sperm donation." Tracy blurted. "Oh! Well, we always welcome donors." The lady behind the desk said. "Second floor, third door on the left." Tracy hurried away.
"All right Samuel, have you been taking your aspirin?" asked the nurse as the doctor got his medication ready. "Yes." Professor Oak answered. "And have you been keeping your back straight with the brace we've given you?" "Most of the time, yes." "And. Mrs. Ketchum? Are you all right? You don't look to good." "Oh I'm fine." Mrs. Ketchum said. "Are you sure?" asked the doctor, holding up a big needle. "Is the scent of the medication making you a bit woozy?" "Well, I do feel dizzy. But I don't like shots.." Mrs. Ketchum admitted, eyeing the needle. "Lisa, will you take Mrs. Ketchum to another office and check for any signs of viruses in the blood stream?" the doctor asked. "Of course. Come with me, Mrs. Ketchum. We'll just take a small quick blood sample and a check up." "All right."
"Now Mr. Sketchit, the donating process is very simple." Said the nurse, handing Tracy a blue flowered gown to change into. "Um..." Tracy said. "Oh don't worry, Mr. Sketchit. I won't look." Said the nurse. "Well, it's just that... That.. I prefer the MALE nurses." Tracy said. "Ooooooooh. One of these type of cases. I'll be back." The nurse said and left the room. A male nurse came in. "All right, Mr. Sketchit." "Please. Call me Tracy." Tracy said. "All right Tracy. I'm going to attach this to your little friend and turn this machine on and it'll take all that's needed." "Male catalog models from Abercrombie and Fitch would help better than this machine with me." Tracy said. "Uh. Well. I'll get some then. The candy stripers keep some in the lounge." The male nurse left.
"Wheeeeeeeee Heeee Heeee! Come to daddy!!!!!!!!" Gary yelled, chasing after the teen girls in the pink striped suits. The male nurse skirted around the girls and grabbed some magazine off of the table and returned to the room. "Here you go." The male nurse said. "Thanks, love." Tracy said. The male nurse turned around. "Well. You can get on with it. We thank you for your donation." The nurse said. "Oh yeah! Ooooooooh yeah! Baby, show me those fall fashions!!!!!" Tracy said, doing the dirty. "I'll leave you to your duties." The doctor said, fleeing the office.
Mrs. Ketchum and the nurse returned to the room where Professor Oak was given a large arthritis shot to help his lumbago. "Well! We have a very interesting report." Lisa said to the doctor. Professor Oak clung to his hospital smock and hid his butt from the intruding nurse. "All right? What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Mrs. Ketchum appears to be pregnant!" "I'm what?" Mrs. Ketchum said. "She's what? Whoo hoo!!!!!!! Wait!!! What?" Professor Oak said. "I think you need some explaining to do." The doctor told Professor Oak. "Can I put my pants on first?" The doctor handed Professor Oak his pants. "Due to our latest technology, the results of the blood sample showed no viruses, but she is just recently pregnant." Lisa turned and looked at Professor Oak. "It was therapy! Therapy!!!!!!!! She was helping me with my lumbago therapy!" "Yes. It's a very delicate procedure, that pelvic thrust." Mrs. Ketchum added in. "My therapist suggested all of this." Professor Oak said. "But, Samuel. Not only am I your doctor, I'm also your therapist and did not assign such outlandish pelvic thrust therapy procedures." The doctor said. Professor Oak was silent. "It was probably just a simple misunderstanding." Mrs. Ketchum said. "After all, I know that the professor really does love me." Mrs. Ketchum blew Professor Oak a kiss. He went very red. "So what are you two going to do now?" asked the doctor. "Not tell my son." Mrs. Ketchum immediately said. "Not tell my grandson." Professor Oak said. Lisa and the doctor looked at each other. 'Grandson?' Lisa was thinking. "Well. I guess I should schedule Mrs. Ketchum an appointment a few months from now." The doctor said, scribbling in his notebook. "All right. I'll see you in a couple of months. I'll have my secretary contact you." The doctor said. Professor Oak, fully dressed, and Delia left the office. "Now what?" Delia asked. "I don't know. I haven't had a kid in ages." "Me neither. But you're older than me." "You're right... Want to get married?" "Okay. This kid will need a good father." "Hee hee." Professor Oak laughed evilly. "This will make Ash Gary's step uncle!" "But they won't find out until later." Mrs. Future Oak kissed Professor Oak.
***********
Professor Oak attached Pikachu to a bunch of wires and began his research. "Anything coming up on the monitor?" Tracy asked, walking into the lab, still leafing through the Abercrombie & Fitch magazines he sneaked from the hospital. "Nope." Professor Oak said, typing away while Pikachu strained against the ropes binding him to the examination table. "Tracy, please tranquilize the pokemon so we can send it back to Ash. And have him send another pokemon." "All right!" Tracy said, throwing the magazines aside and grabbing a tranquilizer dart and inserting it into Pikachu. Tracy called the nearest Pokemon center and asked the Nurse Joy to tell Ash when he came in to call Professor Oak's lab. "Thank you!" Nurse Joy said. Tracy hung up and grumbled.
Meanwhile:
"Hey look Ash! Some person stranded on the side of the road that's having a problem with their pokemon! Let's help them." Misty said. "Hey man, what's up?" Brock asked. "Nothing much, It's just that my pokemon won't stop humping my leg." The kid said. "Mmm hmm. Seems like we have a similar problem." Ash said. "My pokemon started humping my girlfriend, and my Chikorita is still stuck to my leg." Ash said. "My Vulpix won't stop humping my leg." The kid said, showing Ash his right leg. "You should come with us to the next Pokemon center. We're stopping there so I can get my Chikorita off my leg and get my Pikachu back." "What happened to your Pikachu?" "I sent him to my friend Professor Oak so he could see if he could determine a diagnosis for it." "Oh. I'm Bobby." Said the kid. "I'm Ash. This is Misty, my girlfriend. And our friend Brock." "Hi. Now let's head over to the Pokemon center." Bobby said, hobbling along as awkward as Ash.
"Honey!!!!!!" Delia said, running into the lab. "What do you think of 'Xalidorf' for a name for the baby?" "Uh... Maybe something less complicated." Professor Oak said. "What baby?" Tracy asked. Delia and Professor Oak looked at each other. "Nothing!" they both said. "Okay." Just then the phone rang. "Hello?" Tracy said into the video phone. "Hey. I got the message that I had to call." Ash said, avoiding eye contact with Tracy. "Hi Ash." Tracy said. "Yeah. Hi. Can you send Pikachu now?" he asked. "Sure. And the professor wants you to send another pokemon for research. He really couldn't find anything wrong with Pikachu, only that it started humping your mom." "It did? Aw man! That pokemon is going to be grounded." Ash said. "Yeah, well. Pikachu also ticked off Professor Oak when he interrupted your mom and him." Ash raised his eyebrows. "What were they doing?" Bobby came on the screen. "Hi!" Bobby said. "Nevermind Tracy. Mom and Professor Oak always hang out. It keeps her from being lonely." "Helloooooooo!" Tracy said to Bobby. "What's your name hot stuff?" "Uh. Bobby." Bobby said. "Go! You don't want to be involved with Tracy." Ash hissed to his new friend. "Oh. Bye." Bobby said and ran off. "I'll send you Bulbasaur." Ash said. Tracy sent Pikachu back to Ash and a bunch of tranquilizer darts. Ash sent Bulbasaur. "Bye." Ash said and immediately hung up. "What pokemon did Ash send?" Professor Oak asked. "His Bulbasaur." Tracy said, holding up the Poke ball. "It also seems like Ash and his friends stopped once again to help a trainer in need." Tracy said. Professor Oak rolled his eyes. "That's nice." Delia said. "Sweetums, should we invite the Viridian City Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny to the wedding?" she asked, rummaging around his desk for a pen and a piece of paper. "Wedding?" Tracy said. "You mean.. You're.. Wedding?" "Shhh! Don't tell Gary." Professor Oak said. Tracy fainted. "Oh dear!" Mrs. Ketchum said. "It's okay. We'll get one of the water pokemon to revive him." Professor Oak said.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'Hot and steamy!!! Like Cinnamon Altoids!'