Chapter 33
WICKED! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? CHAPTER 33. I REPEAT, 33. HOW COOL IS THAT? I AM THE GREATEST! I AM THE MOST INTELLIGENT! I AM the person who isn't getting any reviews.
*
"Elspeth?" Artemis looked at the girl worriedly. "Wake up. You didn't open your eyes, did you?"
Instantly, Elspeth snapped out of her daze.
"Huh? What? Oh. No, I'm fine," she said, looking around for the snakemind she had been talking to, before two certain Slytherins had butted in and begun screaming obscene insults at the top of their minds.
"Good. The plan will have to wait then, I guess," sighed Artemis. "Let's go. You go back to your commonroom."
"Okay," shrugged Elspeth, amiably. She strolled up the stairs, humming a tune absently, but really looking around for any sign of the snake.
Artemis watched her go, with a feeling of regret. He was always being forced to wait. However, he was not going to risk having her be killed by the snake that was going around the school, especially seeing that it was awake again.
But back to the brunette bimbo.
"You didn't really mean that, did you, Harry?" sniffed Christina, looking at him with huge baby eyes.
"Oh, the slush," sighed Victoria. Stephanie crossed her arms and looked around the room, for some sign of intelligent life.
"Uh....no. Not really," lied Harry, now wishing that he HAD died, so he would no longer have to put up with the freaky, smitten airhead that was standing beside him.
*sorry Christina, but it's your fault for singing 'Fever' the whole time I was trying to concentrate on my test. I did warn you, you know. Stephanie, that was your reward for pinching her*
"GOOD! OH, ISN'T HE SO SWEET?" giggled Christina, flinging her arms around him. Harry blanched.
"Uh....right, Christina," nodded Victoria, sounding extremely unconvinced.
"He IS, so THERE, you poo poo heads!" sniffed Christina.
*it's a new 'insult' she's made up. She called me that a few days ago*
"Ooh....there's a big word," said Victoria.
"Big words for big brains," sang Rachel, skipping down the stairs. But she hated skipping, so she stopped, and slowed to a respectable blind charge.
"Coming THRRRRRRRRRROUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" she called, running straight for Victoria.
"AH!" yelped Victoria, leaping out of the way. She tripped, and went sprawling across the ground.
"Tee hee. Funny," grinned Rachel.
"No it's NOT! It HURTS!" shouted Victoria, punching the ground angrily.
"I rest my case," said Rachel. Victoria stopped punching the ground and scowled.
"You're a riot, Rachel," she told the older girl, dully. "A real riot."
"Riot?" said Christina, looking bewildered by all the 'big words' that her friends were using.
*take THAT, you broken jukebox!*
"A riot is a violent or wild disorder or confusion," said Stephanie, her kind side taking pity on Christina.
"Oh. Okay," said Christina.
Michelle came tumbling down the stairs.
"Hi, guys!" she shouted. Then, turning to Stephanie, she asked, "Isn't a disorder like when you swear at the lunch lady?"
Rachel grinned. "Diss order. Yeah, I get it."
Christina frowned.
Twenty minutes later....
"OH! I GET IT! THAT'S SO STOOPID!"
"Oh how time flies when you have an idiot in your midst," muttered Rachel.
"But it wasn't a joke!" cried Michelle.
"Oh damn," Rachel snapped her fingers. "And there we were, getting our hopes up, and thinking that you were intelligent enough to make a joke. Silly us."
"Hey! I am smart!" shouted Michelle, angrily. "I'm even smarter than you!"
"In maths," said Rachel. "Because you do coaching."
"Yeah. I'm SMART enough to go to coaching!" snapped Michelle.
"And I'm smart enough NOT to go to coaching," smirked Rachel.
From the bloodthirsty look on Michelle's face, even Professor Trelawney would be able to predict the bloody future. Unless she wasn't wearing her glasses, of course, because then she probably wouldn't be able to see the deadly gleam in Michelle's eye. But then again, the cracking of Michelle's knuckles should be enough to send a lion fleeing into its den, and screaming in terror when it saw a dark shape lurking in its home. Then the lamb would emerge, and the lion would kill it and eat it, lest it tell the other lambs that it had scared away the King of the Jungle. But the lion might not live in the jungle. Instead, it might dwell in the dry, dusty, African plains. So the other lambs wouldn't have believed the lamb it had just killed and eaten anyway. Especially if it was known for telling lies. So there would have been no point in the lion killing and eating the lamb, and risking....
Tetanus, through the broken tooth it had gotten from eating the lamb! The villagers would also be angry, and a lion with tetanus would be easier to catch, than a lion without tetanus. And worse, it had a broken tooth, so the villagers would just have to listen hard, for the sound of loud weeping, and follow the sound.
But none of that really matters. Even though the lion IS an endangered species.
"Where were you?" asked Victoria, trying to avert the topic from intelligence. Rachel had guessed as much, and she grinned, showing her teeth, before replying, "If you're trying to avert the topic from intelligence, you should pick another topic."
"Huh?" Victoria was confused. For a minute. Then, the intelligence that had earned her the scholarship into PLC kicked in, and she bent over, clutching her sides. Her intelligence had kicked in too hard, and probably ruptured her kidney. And if it had, she would die....sick! the bottle really DOES predict the future! Sorry, it's just a game we've started playing. We've mutated Spin the Bottle, and turned it into a freakish cross between Truth or Dare and fortune-telling. It said that Victoria would go bankrupt in the future, and go crazy, before seeking asylum. Then someone would lock her up, and she would be the highest jumping person in the world. And she would start singing as a career. But that's her other future. The boring one is that she's gonna die, in my story....hmm....will she?
"Hey!" whined Victoria. "That's mean. But then you would be saying that you're stupid."
"I don't know what you're talking about, you crazy little mutant," said Rachel, loftily. "I was wondering if you wanted to play Spin the Bottle."
"SPIN THE BOTTLE?" spluttered Harry. "NO WAY AM I PLAYING THAT WITH YOU FREAKS!"
"We don't need you to, you idiot," snapped Rachel. Then, at the look on Harry's face, she shouted, "EW! GROSS! YOU'RE TOTALLY DISGUSTING, YOU SICKO! WE'VE CHANGED IT!" Then, fuming, she added under her breath, "Moronic little bastard."
Fortunately, Harry did not hear the name she called him.
"Yeah! Cool. There's nothing we can do anyway," shrugged Stephanie.
"Wicked. Let's go. Slytherin Commonroom. The password's HarryPotterisanuglygit." And with that, Rachel pranced off, whistling a cheerful tune. Michelle shuddered, covering her ears.
*
"I'm really, really, really sorry. I won't be updating till next Monday, at the most. I'm going on a horrible camp, where I'll have to spend one night outdoors. YUCK! How unhygienic! How revolting! How repulsive! How....like Christina. Well, I just wanted to tell you all, that if I don't update again by the end of September, chances are that I've been brutally murdered by Michelle, or died of unhygienic conditions. More likely the former than the latter.
WICKED! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? CHAPTER 33. I REPEAT, 33. HOW COOL IS THAT? I AM THE GREATEST! I AM THE MOST INTELLIGENT! I AM the person who isn't getting any reviews.
*
"Elspeth?" Artemis looked at the girl worriedly. "Wake up. You didn't open your eyes, did you?"
Instantly, Elspeth snapped out of her daze.
"Huh? What? Oh. No, I'm fine," she said, looking around for the snakemind she had been talking to, before two certain Slytherins had butted in and begun screaming obscene insults at the top of their minds.
"Good. The plan will have to wait then, I guess," sighed Artemis. "Let's go. You go back to your commonroom."
"Okay," shrugged Elspeth, amiably. She strolled up the stairs, humming a tune absently, but really looking around for any sign of the snake.
Artemis watched her go, with a feeling of regret. He was always being forced to wait. However, he was not going to risk having her be killed by the snake that was going around the school, especially seeing that it was awake again.
But back to the brunette bimbo.
"You didn't really mean that, did you, Harry?" sniffed Christina, looking at him with huge baby eyes.
"Oh, the slush," sighed Victoria. Stephanie crossed her arms and looked around the room, for some sign of intelligent life.
"Uh....no. Not really," lied Harry, now wishing that he HAD died, so he would no longer have to put up with the freaky, smitten airhead that was standing beside him.
*sorry Christina, but it's your fault for singing 'Fever' the whole time I was trying to concentrate on my test. I did warn you, you know. Stephanie, that was your reward for pinching her*
"GOOD! OH, ISN'T HE SO SWEET?" giggled Christina, flinging her arms around him. Harry blanched.
"Uh....right, Christina," nodded Victoria, sounding extremely unconvinced.
"He IS, so THERE, you poo poo heads!" sniffed Christina.
*it's a new 'insult' she's made up. She called me that a few days ago*
"Ooh....there's a big word," said Victoria.
"Big words for big brains," sang Rachel, skipping down the stairs. But she hated skipping, so she stopped, and slowed to a respectable blind charge.
"Coming THRRRRRRRRRROUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" she called, running straight for Victoria.
"AH!" yelped Victoria, leaping out of the way. She tripped, and went sprawling across the ground.
"Tee hee. Funny," grinned Rachel.
"No it's NOT! It HURTS!" shouted Victoria, punching the ground angrily.
"I rest my case," said Rachel. Victoria stopped punching the ground and scowled.
"You're a riot, Rachel," she told the older girl, dully. "A real riot."
"Riot?" said Christina, looking bewildered by all the 'big words' that her friends were using.
*take THAT, you broken jukebox!*
"A riot is a violent or wild disorder or confusion," said Stephanie, her kind side taking pity on Christina.
"Oh. Okay," said Christina.
Michelle came tumbling down the stairs.
"Hi, guys!" she shouted. Then, turning to Stephanie, she asked, "Isn't a disorder like when you swear at the lunch lady?"
Rachel grinned. "Diss order. Yeah, I get it."
Christina frowned.
Twenty minutes later....
"OH! I GET IT! THAT'S SO STOOPID!"
"Oh how time flies when you have an idiot in your midst," muttered Rachel.
"But it wasn't a joke!" cried Michelle.
"Oh damn," Rachel snapped her fingers. "And there we were, getting our hopes up, and thinking that you were intelligent enough to make a joke. Silly us."
"Hey! I am smart!" shouted Michelle, angrily. "I'm even smarter than you!"
"In maths," said Rachel. "Because you do coaching."
"Yeah. I'm SMART enough to go to coaching!" snapped Michelle.
"And I'm smart enough NOT to go to coaching," smirked Rachel.
From the bloodthirsty look on Michelle's face, even Professor Trelawney would be able to predict the bloody future. Unless she wasn't wearing her glasses, of course, because then she probably wouldn't be able to see the deadly gleam in Michelle's eye. But then again, the cracking of Michelle's knuckles should be enough to send a lion fleeing into its den, and screaming in terror when it saw a dark shape lurking in its home. Then the lamb would emerge, and the lion would kill it and eat it, lest it tell the other lambs that it had scared away the King of the Jungle. But the lion might not live in the jungle. Instead, it might dwell in the dry, dusty, African plains. So the other lambs wouldn't have believed the lamb it had just killed and eaten anyway. Especially if it was known for telling lies. So there would have been no point in the lion killing and eating the lamb, and risking....
Tetanus, through the broken tooth it had gotten from eating the lamb! The villagers would also be angry, and a lion with tetanus would be easier to catch, than a lion without tetanus. And worse, it had a broken tooth, so the villagers would just have to listen hard, for the sound of loud weeping, and follow the sound.
But none of that really matters. Even though the lion IS an endangered species.
"Where were you?" asked Victoria, trying to avert the topic from intelligence. Rachel had guessed as much, and she grinned, showing her teeth, before replying, "If you're trying to avert the topic from intelligence, you should pick another topic."
"Huh?" Victoria was confused. For a minute. Then, the intelligence that had earned her the scholarship into PLC kicked in, and she bent over, clutching her sides. Her intelligence had kicked in too hard, and probably ruptured her kidney. And if it had, she would die....sick! the bottle really DOES predict the future! Sorry, it's just a game we've started playing. We've mutated Spin the Bottle, and turned it into a freakish cross between Truth or Dare and fortune-telling. It said that Victoria would go bankrupt in the future, and go crazy, before seeking asylum. Then someone would lock her up, and she would be the highest jumping person in the world. And she would start singing as a career. But that's her other future. The boring one is that she's gonna die, in my story....hmm....will she?
"Hey!" whined Victoria. "That's mean. But then you would be saying that you're stupid."
"I don't know what you're talking about, you crazy little mutant," said Rachel, loftily. "I was wondering if you wanted to play Spin the Bottle."
"SPIN THE BOTTLE?" spluttered Harry. "NO WAY AM I PLAYING THAT WITH YOU FREAKS!"
"We don't need you to, you idiot," snapped Rachel. Then, at the look on Harry's face, she shouted, "EW! GROSS! YOU'RE TOTALLY DISGUSTING, YOU SICKO! WE'VE CHANGED IT!" Then, fuming, she added under her breath, "Moronic little bastard."
Fortunately, Harry did not hear the name she called him.
"Yeah! Cool. There's nothing we can do anyway," shrugged Stephanie.
"Wicked. Let's go. Slytherin Commonroom. The password's HarryPotterisanuglygit." And with that, Rachel pranced off, whistling a cheerful tune. Michelle shuddered, covering her ears.
*
"I'm really, really, really sorry. I won't be updating till next Monday, at the most. I'm going on a horrible camp, where I'll have to spend one night outdoors. YUCK! How unhygienic! How revolting! How repulsive! How....like Christina. Well, I just wanted to tell you all, that if I don't update again by the end of September, chances are that I've been brutally murdered by Michelle, or died of unhygienic conditions. More likely the former than the latter.