Ah! My Lumbago!
(Never eat too many Twinkies)
'Gary Strikes'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
After all the girls and Brock left, Gary had to clean up the entire house. While vacuuming under the couch cushions, Gary found a magnificent, extraordinary, magical, mystical, pink, object. "Wow!!!!" Gary said, picking it up. "Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I can do great things with this object!!!!" He said. He stuffed it in his pocket. "Gary, dear. Are you still cleaning?" Delia called from the kitchen. "Yes Gramma." Gary said. "Keep your jabooty in the freezer and chill!" Gary started the vacuum again.
"Hee hee hee hee hee." Gary laughed. He clutched his prize and carefully set his trap in the fire pokemon area of his grandpa's backyard. "Yo! Magma butt!" Gary yelled at a Magmar. The Magmar not to far away looked up at him. "Yeah you! Get your fat ass over here! You stupid f***'in ghetto Pokemon!" The Magmar glared and ran over to him. Gary then headed for the hills. The Magmar ran directly into the trap.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" went the whoopee cushion under the Magmar's right foot. All the other Fire Pokemon looked up at the Magmar and wrinkled their noses. Then they ran away. Magmar sweat-dropped. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Gary laughed, from behind a bush. When the Magmar left, Gary got his trap ready again. This time in the Electric Pokemon area. "Hey! Ghetto Pokemon! I need at the Pikapoo's in da house!" Gary said, waving his arms around. All the Pikachu's hurried over to him. "Do you know what?" Gary told the Pokemon. "There's a hidden stash of Pokemon food over in that tree." Gary pointed to a tree nearby. All the Pikachu's ran up the tree. The one that got their first stepped on the trap.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!" went the whoopee cushion. The rest of the Pikachu's fell out of the tree in shock. Gary gathered the whoopee cushion and ran to the next exhibit.
"Professor, the pokemon seem to be having a gas problem." Tracy said, happier than usual. "They're farting all over the backyard." "Must be the food. Try putting some 'Gas-X' in their food." Professor Oak said. "Sure thing." Tracy went out to but the 'Gas-X' in the pokemon food.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!! !" "Aw! Man, Tracy! Don't pass your ghetto gas so close to the Fire Pokemon Area or you'll blow them all up." Gary said, walking towards him. "But it wasn't me!!!!" Tracy whined. "Sure, sure. That's what they all say." "Your friends scare me." Tracy said. "I'm not supposed to talk to you." Backing away from him. "Because one of them did you?" Gary said. "What a lame excuse for a gay ho-bag fat head like you." "Leave me alone." Tracy said. "I thought you liked guys." "Yes." "Why the sudden change? *Gasp* Did you get laid?" Gary said. Tracy was quiet. "I mean by a guy?" "Kinda." Tracy replied. "Yeah. Yeah you did." Gary said. "That is so disgusting. It was Brock wasn't it? He'll do anything to get some." Gary said. Gary leaned down and picked up his whoopee cushion. "Damn. I don't think I should have anymore parties. Sooner or later, me or Brock are going to get some girl's pregnant." "Did somebody say 'pregnant'?" Delia asked, coming out into the backyard to do some gardening. "Uh. Chill out!!!! I was. uh.. Just rappin' some soul lyrics." "That's nice." Delia said. "Gary, come over here. I want to talk to you." 'Oh no!' Gary thought. 'One of my girlfriend's must have called the house!'. "What up, yo?" Gary said, "I'm pregnant with Sam's kid." Gary fainted faster than he had at his party.
***********
Ash and his friend's walked along the road to the next gym in Mahogany town. Pikachu was riding on Ash's head. Vulpix was trotting next to Bobby. "Hey Brock. Is your Dad okay?" Ash asked. "What?" Brock asked. "Is your Dad okay? You left yesterday on the Magnet Train to go and make sure your Dad wasn't going to die of a heart attack." Misty said. "Yeah. He's okay. He just panicked because the twins got stuck in the dryer again." Brock said. He hoped no one figured out that he had snuck to Gary's party. Word travels fast on hentai chat sites. Brock hoped that no one would find out he went to those. "That's good." Bobby said. Suddenly they dropped through a hole hidden in the path. "Prepare for trouble!" "Make it double!" "To protect the world from devastation." "To unite all peoples within our nation." "To denounce the evils of truth and love." "To extend our reach to the stars above." "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket blasting off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" "That's right!" "Vul!!!!" Vulpix cooed, seeing Meowth. "Come on toots. Let's get you out of there hon. We can do the dirty again." Meowth said. Jessie and James used a contraption to pull Vulpix out of the hole. Meowth and Vulpix ran off. "Ha ha ha ha!!!" Team Rocket laughed. "Let us out!" Ash yelled. "Not until we get our hump buddie." Jessie said. "Pikachu? Why?" Ash said. "Because Meowth has his own hump buddie." "I want my Vulpix back!" yelled Bobby. "Too bad twerp's. You're not going to get them back." James powered up their contraption once more and drew Pikachu out of the hole. "PIKACHU!!!" Ash yelled. "Ha! We've got Pikachu!!!!!!" James yelled. "Now we can have fun with our new hump buddie!!!" "Let's go to a secluded area." Jessie excitedly suggested. They ran off laughing. "Sorry Misty, I have to do this." Ash took out a Pokeball. "Go Bulba---" Ash began "No Ash! Let me use one of mine so they can help us get out of the hole." Misty said. "Go Staryu! Float into the air and pull us up onto the ground!" Misty yelled. Staryu came out of its Pokeball. It started humping her. "I thought you were a girl!!!!!!!!" Misty said. "Actually Misty, Staryu's have no gender." Brock said. "Anyone who plays Pokemon Gold, Silver, or Crystal knows that." "How come no one ever mentioned us being a Game Boy game before? Ugh!!!!!" Ash yelled in frustration. "I guess we'll have to climb out." Brock said. So the boys climbed out and helped Misty out. Brock shot Staryu with one of their tranquilizers. The star fell off Misty. "Thanks." Misty said, recalling Staryu. "No prob." Brock said. "And for that, I think I deserve a reward." Brock said. "Like what?" Misty said. Brock winked. "Ew!!! No! EW! EWWWW! NO!!!" Misty said. She stalked off. "Come on. We need to find Pikachu and Vulpix." She said. Bobby followed her. Ash glared at Brock. "Don't you dare touch my girl. Heck, who knows? You'll probably end up on the 'Maury' show, like those creeps who go to parties at guys houses. Guys like Gary. And have 30-somes with girls and you'll be the father of half of them." Ash snarled. Brock went white. "Oh yeah?" Brock said. "That'll never happen."
"You mean that Grampa got all that and a bag of chips and a hot dog and a pizza and a slushie and a box of cheesy nachos and a Snickers bar and cotton candy in a plastic bag and." "Enough!" Professor Oak said. "Now, we don't want you to let Ash know." "Why not?" Gary said slyly. "Well, do you think he would like the fact that he would be your step- uncle?" "No. Man, this sucks harder than a blow." "Gary." Professor Oak warned. "Okay, okay. Take a chill pill. I have a date in a couple of hours and need to make myself pimpin'." Gary excused himself and went up to his room.
Ash and his friends kept walking and walking and walking. "Hey look! Let's ask that guy over there if he saw Team Rocket go by." Bobby suggested. "Hello there. Did you happen to see two people with a Pikachu and a Meowth and a Vulpix come by here?" Brock asked. "I seeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!" The kid said. "I am Paul the magnificent Psychic!!!!!!!" "Yeah. Hi. Well, did you see some people with a Pikachu go by here?" "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM." Paul said, mediating. After a couple of minutes, Brock lost his patience. "YO!!!!!! TELL US IF YOU SAW ANYBODY!!!!!!" "Aiya!!!!! I will bend my spoons at you!!!!" Paul whipped out two spoons and held them out like a Kadabra. "I have seen the ones you have been looking for." "You have?" Brock, Misty, Ash, and Bobby asked. "Yes! Beyond the great fields of tall grass, lies a horrible scenic moment. Approach with care." "Yeah.." Ash said. "Okay thanks." Ash and his friends walked through the tall grass nearby. "Come on! Hump me!!!!!!!!!!!" James screamed at Pikachu. Pikachu just turned up his nose. "Hey! You! Give me back my Pokemon!" Ash yelled. Pikachu raced over to Ash. "Awwwwwww! I'll never get some!!!!" James wailed. "Now to find Vulpix." Bobby said. "Vulpix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They began calling. "Vul!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they heard Vulpix say. Bobby ran towards the source of the voice. "Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!" Bobby cried. "More eggs!!!!!!!" "How many this time?" "Nine." Bobby said. "I'll go ahead and call Kurt." Ash said. "Why don't you just keep Vulpix in her Pokeball?" Misty asked. "Vulpix doesn't like it. Kind of like how Ash's Pikachu doesn't like its Pokeball." "Oh. I guess we'll have to try to keep a better eye out for Meowth." Misty said. "This brings the total of eggs to 16." Brock said, calculating on his fingers. Bobby picked up Vulpix. "No more dirtyness for you." Bobby told her. "If we can help it." Misty added.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'Not Quite Sunny-Side Up'
'Gary Strikes'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
After all the girls and Brock left, Gary had to clean up the entire house. While vacuuming under the couch cushions, Gary found a magnificent, extraordinary, magical, mystical, pink, object. "Wow!!!!" Gary said, picking it up. "Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I can do great things with this object!!!!" He said. He stuffed it in his pocket. "Gary, dear. Are you still cleaning?" Delia called from the kitchen. "Yes Gramma." Gary said. "Keep your jabooty in the freezer and chill!" Gary started the vacuum again.
"Hee hee hee hee hee." Gary laughed. He clutched his prize and carefully set his trap in the fire pokemon area of his grandpa's backyard. "Yo! Magma butt!" Gary yelled at a Magmar. The Magmar not to far away looked up at him. "Yeah you! Get your fat ass over here! You stupid f***'in ghetto Pokemon!" The Magmar glared and ran over to him. Gary then headed for the hills. The Magmar ran directly into the trap.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" went the whoopee cushion under the Magmar's right foot. All the other Fire Pokemon looked up at the Magmar and wrinkled their noses. Then they ran away. Magmar sweat-dropped. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Gary laughed, from behind a bush. When the Magmar left, Gary got his trap ready again. This time in the Electric Pokemon area. "Hey! Ghetto Pokemon! I need at the Pikapoo's in da house!" Gary said, waving his arms around. All the Pikachu's hurried over to him. "Do you know what?" Gary told the Pokemon. "There's a hidden stash of Pokemon food over in that tree." Gary pointed to a tree nearby. All the Pikachu's ran up the tree. The one that got their first stepped on the trap.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!" went the whoopee cushion. The rest of the Pikachu's fell out of the tree in shock. Gary gathered the whoopee cushion and ran to the next exhibit.
"Professor, the pokemon seem to be having a gas problem." Tracy said, happier than usual. "They're farting all over the backyard." "Must be the food. Try putting some 'Gas-X' in their food." Professor Oak said. "Sure thing." Tracy went out to but the 'Gas-X' in the pokemon food.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!! !" "Aw! Man, Tracy! Don't pass your ghetto gas so close to the Fire Pokemon Area or you'll blow them all up." Gary said, walking towards him. "But it wasn't me!!!!" Tracy whined. "Sure, sure. That's what they all say." "Your friends scare me." Tracy said. "I'm not supposed to talk to you." Backing away from him. "Because one of them did you?" Gary said. "What a lame excuse for a gay ho-bag fat head like you." "Leave me alone." Tracy said. "I thought you liked guys." "Yes." "Why the sudden change? *Gasp* Did you get laid?" Gary said. Tracy was quiet. "I mean by a guy?" "Kinda." Tracy replied. "Yeah. Yeah you did." Gary said. "That is so disgusting. It was Brock wasn't it? He'll do anything to get some." Gary said. Gary leaned down and picked up his whoopee cushion. "Damn. I don't think I should have anymore parties. Sooner or later, me or Brock are going to get some girl's pregnant." "Did somebody say 'pregnant'?" Delia asked, coming out into the backyard to do some gardening. "Uh. Chill out!!!! I was. uh.. Just rappin' some soul lyrics." "That's nice." Delia said. "Gary, come over here. I want to talk to you." 'Oh no!' Gary thought. 'One of my girlfriend's must have called the house!'. "What up, yo?" Gary said, "I'm pregnant with Sam's kid." Gary fainted faster than he had at his party.
***********
Ash and his friend's walked along the road to the next gym in Mahogany town. Pikachu was riding on Ash's head. Vulpix was trotting next to Bobby. "Hey Brock. Is your Dad okay?" Ash asked. "What?" Brock asked. "Is your Dad okay? You left yesterday on the Magnet Train to go and make sure your Dad wasn't going to die of a heart attack." Misty said. "Yeah. He's okay. He just panicked because the twins got stuck in the dryer again." Brock said. He hoped no one figured out that he had snuck to Gary's party. Word travels fast on hentai chat sites. Brock hoped that no one would find out he went to those. "That's good." Bobby said. Suddenly they dropped through a hole hidden in the path. "Prepare for trouble!" "Make it double!" "To protect the world from devastation." "To unite all peoples within our nation." "To denounce the evils of truth and love." "To extend our reach to the stars above." "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket blasting off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" "That's right!" "Vul!!!!" Vulpix cooed, seeing Meowth. "Come on toots. Let's get you out of there hon. We can do the dirty again." Meowth said. Jessie and James used a contraption to pull Vulpix out of the hole. Meowth and Vulpix ran off. "Ha ha ha ha!!!" Team Rocket laughed. "Let us out!" Ash yelled. "Not until we get our hump buddie." Jessie said. "Pikachu? Why?" Ash said. "Because Meowth has his own hump buddie." "I want my Vulpix back!" yelled Bobby. "Too bad twerp's. You're not going to get them back." James powered up their contraption once more and drew Pikachu out of the hole. "PIKACHU!!!" Ash yelled. "Ha! We've got Pikachu!!!!!!" James yelled. "Now we can have fun with our new hump buddie!!!" "Let's go to a secluded area." Jessie excitedly suggested. They ran off laughing. "Sorry Misty, I have to do this." Ash took out a Pokeball. "Go Bulba---" Ash began "No Ash! Let me use one of mine so they can help us get out of the hole." Misty said. "Go Staryu! Float into the air and pull us up onto the ground!" Misty yelled. Staryu came out of its Pokeball. It started humping her. "I thought you were a girl!!!!!!!!" Misty said. "Actually Misty, Staryu's have no gender." Brock said. "Anyone who plays Pokemon Gold, Silver, or Crystal knows that." "How come no one ever mentioned us being a Game Boy game before? Ugh!!!!!" Ash yelled in frustration. "I guess we'll have to climb out." Brock said. So the boys climbed out and helped Misty out. Brock shot Staryu with one of their tranquilizers. The star fell off Misty. "Thanks." Misty said, recalling Staryu. "No prob." Brock said. "And for that, I think I deserve a reward." Brock said. "Like what?" Misty said. Brock winked. "Ew!!! No! EW! EWWWW! NO!!!" Misty said. She stalked off. "Come on. We need to find Pikachu and Vulpix." She said. Bobby followed her. Ash glared at Brock. "Don't you dare touch my girl. Heck, who knows? You'll probably end up on the 'Maury' show, like those creeps who go to parties at guys houses. Guys like Gary. And have 30-somes with girls and you'll be the father of half of them." Ash snarled. Brock went white. "Oh yeah?" Brock said. "That'll never happen."
"You mean that Grampa got all that and a bag of chips and a hot dog and a pizza and a slushie and a box of cheesy nachos and a Snickers bar and cotton candy in a plastic bag and." "Enough!" Professor Oak said. "Now, we don't want you to let Ash know." "Why not?" Gary said slyly. "Well, do you think he would like the fact that he would be your step- uncle?" "No. Man, this sucks harder than a blow." "Gary." Professor Oak warned. "Okay, okay. Take a chill pill. I have a date in a couple of hours and need to make myself pimpin'." Gary excused himself and went up to his room.
Ash and his friends kept walking and walking and walking. "Hey look! Let's ask that guy over there if he saw Team Rocket go by." Bobby suggested. "Hello there. Did you happen to see two people with a Pikachu and a Meowth and a Vulpix come by here?" Brock asked. "I seeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!" The kid said. "I am Paul the magnificent Psychic!!!!!!!" "Yeah. Hi. Well, did you see some people with a Pikachu go by here?" "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM." Paul said, mediating. After a couple of minutes, Brock lost his patience. "YO!!!!!! TELL US IF YOU SAW ANYBODY!!!!!!" "Aiya!!!!! I will bend my spoons at you!!!!" Paul whipped out two spoons and held them out like a Kadabra. "I have seen the ones you have been looking for." "You have?" Brock, Misty, Ash, and Bobby asked. "Yes! Beyond the great fields of tall grass, lies a horrible scenic moment. Approach with care." "Yeah.." Ash said. "Okay thanks." Ash and his friends walked through the tall grass nearby. "Come on! Hump me!!!!!!!!!!!" James screamed at Pikachu. Pikachu just turned up his nose. "Hey! You! Give me back my Pokemon!" Ash yelled. Pikachu raced over to Ash. "Awwwwwww! I'll never get some!!!!" James wailed. "Now to find Vulpix." Bobby said. "Vulpix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They began calling. "Vul!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they heard Vulpix say. Bobby ran towards the source of the voice. "Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!" Bobby cried. "More eggs!!!!!!!" "How many this time?" "Nine." Bobby said. "I'll go ahead and call Kurt." Ash said. "Why don't you just keep Vulpix in her Pokeball?" Misty asked. "Vulpix doesn't like it. Kind of like how Ash's Pikachu doesn't like its Pokeball." "Oh. I guess we'll have to try to keep a better eye out for Meowth." Misty said. "This brings the total of eggs to 16." Brock said, calculating on his fingers. Bobby picked up Vulpix. "No more dirtyness for you." Bobby told her. "If we can help it." Misty added.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'Not Quite Sunny-Side Up'