Author's Note: Jesus, that was quick, wasn't it? I guess I just got a burst of inspiration. This chapter has also not been pre-read, as I figured I could criticize my own stories. Now everyone listen closely: This is my worst Essay on Eva yet. If you don't like it please do not complain. Just read the story. That is far more important than my pathetic opinion. Anyway, enjoy, gentle reader.
Rage Against the Dying of the Light/Everybody Needs Somebody
Book Three
Deus Ex Machina/Within, Without
Father, into your hands,
I commend my spirit.
Father, into your hands,
Why have you forsaken me?
In your eyes, forsaken me
In your thoughts, forsaken me
In your heart, forsaken me
Trust in my
Self-righteous suicide
I…cry…when angels deserve to die…
-System of a Down
"Chop Suey"
I guess I'm just an old-fashioned sentimentalist at heart. I refuse
to accept a no-win scenario. I hate the thought of a universe without
justice. If the maneuverings of dark powers can't be exposed and
defeated by the pure of heart, then there's no point in anything. I
can't believe that.
-Benjamin Hutchins
Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight, to prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven
Don't cry, don't raise your eyes
It's only teenage wasteland
-The Who
"Baba O' Riley"
The bell tolls for thee, Children, and is not the sound sweet?
Asuka and Shinji both woke up screaming. They would have both bolted from the futon and out of the room had they not been so closely entwined. As it was, they struggled futilely against each other until the influence of the nightmare faded. When their vision finally cleared, they saw at once where and what they were and calmed down, their choked cries of terror fading into gasps for breath.
"Asuka…" Shinji gasped, "Are you…are you all right?"
She nodded and he hugged her fiercely.
"I'm sorry, Asuka," he said softly and apologetically, "I couldn't help you…I tried, but…"
"It's all right, Shinji. I can take care of myself. But what…what happened to Misato?"
"I don't know… I hope that she's all right."
"I hope so, too… But-but what can we do? We need to help them somehow. The First, Kaji, Misato, they all said that we need to free them from the Dead Lands. And we may be able to do that by killing the Eva. But how?"
"There may be a way." Shinji said, thoughtfully.
"What? What do you mean?"
"I think I saw a sign a few halls over for something called "A.T. Field Technology." Maybe…there could be something there we could use."
She sighed. "I guess that's as good an idea as any…"
He slid out of the futon unhappily, already missing its warmth.
"We'll eat first, and then we can look."
She nodded and got out of the futon. They changed, having found a store of school uniforms in another part of the Geofront. Shinji had guessed that they were probably just for storage, since most of the surface had been destroyed, but Asuka had claimed adamantly that the Commander had kept them just because he was a pervert who liked his girls in school uniforms. Shinji had decided discretion was the better part of valor and had not argued. They finished changing and left for the long walk to the cafeteria.
Breakfast was as silent as nearly every other meal they had consumed thus far in the Geofront. Shinji decided to do something about it. He cleared his throat.
"Do you think…that what they said was true? That if we kill the Eva, then everyone could return to Earth? That would be great!"
"I guess…it would be nice to see Kaji again. And Hikari."
"Yeah, and it would be great to see Touji and Kensuke and Misato again. Ayanami...it would be nice to see her too…"
He lowered his head in thought, and therefore did not catch the look that passed over Asuka's face. It was a look of pure torment, of chances lost or never taken at all. Her mouth moved to from words and failed. She tried again, with marginal success.
"You…" she choked out, "you loved her, didn't you?"
He still did not look up, so lost was he in his own private world.
"Yes," he responded firmly, in a voice that showed just how much he had thought about the issue over the past days.
Asuka felt her heart twist and knot upon itself. A solitary tear rolled down her cheek.
I should have tried… Now he…loves that… doll. I lost to a doll…again…
Gathering up the tattered remnants of her resolve, she asked a question that had been eating away at her since she had woken up on that faraway beach bordering an ocean of blood.
"Do…do you love me?" She asked in little over a whisper.
His head jerked up and his mouth dropped open in shock. He saw the tear and his eyes widened.
"Asuka?"
He had given Rei Ayanami hours of thought, but Asuka…well, he had taken their sleeping together as just a phase she would eventually get over. To be honest, he had taken all her recent actions as just a temporary thing caused by Third Impact. He had never thought…
"It's fine," she lied, "I understand…you and the do-Ayanami…I understand." She bit back a sob with pure strength of will. Another tear slipped down her cheek, unnoticed.
"N-no Asuka! Me and Ayanami, it's not like that! It's just that she's well…I don't know, but I don't love her in that way!"
"You don't need to lie, Shinji… I understand."
She began to get up, her tears splashing on the table. He grabbed her hand gently.
"I do, Asuka."
She stared at him, her brain refusing to acknowledge what he had just said. For a moment he could not continue, he was so entranced by her eyes. They showed everything, everything she had hid so well for years. They showed an adamant denial of any happiness, of any belief that she could ever be at peace. She had only asked the question because she had expected to be denied and her life to be the way it had always been. Not just expected, hoped.
"I love you, Asuka."
Her resolve wavered, then snapped like kindling. She collapsed to the table, sobbing. He walked around to her side of the table and put his arms around her.
"It's all right, Asuka," he said comfortingly, holding her. "It's all right…"
She grabbed him and cried onto his shoulder. Shinji could feel her hot tears roll down his back.
"I'm sorry, Asuka, I'm sorry for making you think…I…for hurting you…"
She continued to sob into his shoulder, her hands grabbing double fistfuls of his shirt. How could I mean this much to anybody? he thought, astonished.
Her sobs quieted slowly. He looked down at her and she looked up, her eyes red and teary.
"Thank you, Shinji, I…I…thank you."
She slowly leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. For a moment, a still, unbroken, beautiful moment, there was peace. Then she pulled away. Her lips twitched in a crooked smile.
"Of course you do. How could you pick the First over me?"
He smiled.
"We should go look for those weapons…"
She nodded, than kissed him on the lips again.
"For luck." She said simply, and smiled again. Shinji had doubts that he would ever get tired of that smile.
They left, holding hands.
From the shadows in one corner of the cafeteria stepped a figure dressed entirely in black.
"How utterly disgusting," he said, his voice thick with loathing. "Why must humans try to justify their existence with such stupidities? Bah, no matter. My pet shall dispose of them, and I shall finally achieve my goal. What is love to death? "
He walked to the table where the Children had sat. He reached down and picked up two pieces of hair from the table. One was auburn, and one was a deep brown. He twisted and knotted them together, forming an intricate thread. He held it in his fist for a moment, then began to speak.
"My pretty, you have failed thus far. But not again, never again. Here is what you must do, my pretty…"
When he was finished he clenched his fist. Light flared from between his knuckles, and when he opened his fist again, there was nothing left but ashes. He sunk back into the shadows, chuckling cruelly.
"Enjoy your happiness, Children, false as it may be. For where you are going, there is no happiness at all. Nothing but…death…and blood…"
He cackled horribly as he faded from existence.
Shinji found himself looking at Asuka as they walked down the hallway more than he ever had before in all the time they had spent together. She seemed herself again, humming a tune in German to herself under her breath. It was hard to believe she was the same Asuka who had collapsed sobbing only minutes before when she had thought he didn't love her. Did he love her, or had he just said that to calm her down? He gave the idea only a few moments thought before deciding that he had not lied. The knowledge filled him with joy.
With shocking suddenness, she stopped humming and latched onto his arm.
"Lucky!" she proclaimed proudly.
He looked down at her, surprised.
"How so?" he asked bemusedly.
She smiled and looked up at him.
"For being here with you, of course! Don't be a dummkopf! And, in a few minutes we're gonna find some bomb or something and we can kick the Eva's ass!"
He could not help but laugh.
"I've never known you to be so optimistic."
"That's because you don't know me well enough!"
He sighed.
"I guess not. We should be getting near where I saw that sign…"
He looked around, searching the walls for any sort of marker. He was beginning to suspect that he had imagined it after all when he saw the sign directly in front of him, in large red letters above a medium sized door.
A.T. Field Countermeasures
No Clearance without a Level A Security Card
Trespassers will be shot on sight.
He walked over to the door, and realized with a groan that they could not get in. The power had not gone out in this section of the Geofront, and he still needed a card to enter the room. He searched around, expecting to find nothing, which was, not surprisingly, exactly what he found. He slammed his fist against the door.
"Dammit! How the hell are we supposed to get in now?"
He turned, and Asuka was nowhere to be found.
"What the? Asuka? Where are you?"
She stepped out of the shadows to his left, causing him to jump in shock. She was holding a wire mesh. She turned to the shadows behind her, and Shinji followed her. They had barely walked five feet when they came across a large duct opening halfway up a wall. It was obvious that this was where the grate had come from. He looked at her.
"How did you get the grate off? Don't you need a screwdriver?"
She shrugged.
"It was mostly loose, so I just pulled it off."
He shrugged as well, and turned to the duct. He peered inside. It was pitch dark inside. Her turned to her again hopefully.
"You probably didn't find a flashlight…"
She shook her head. He sighed and began to crawl into the duct.
Shaking her head, she followed him.
Shinji was getting pretty damn sick of hitting his head on the wall of the duct. The duct they were currently in made quite a few 90-degree turns, and at each one he, invariably, hit his head against the duct wall, hard. He had lost count after the tenth time he had done this, which he chalked up to brain damage. Every time he hit the duct, Asuka hit him, but, surprisingly, she never yelled at him once. He cocked his head slightly as he crawled through the duct. Was it just him, or was it getting brighter? He put one hand forward and was greeted with nothing but thin air.
"Oh Shi-"
And then he was falling, sliding at an ever-quickening rate down the sharp incline of the duct. Behind him, he heard a sharp gasp, and realized Asuka had fallen too. He noticed with some apprehension that the duct was getting brighter every second. Shinji really hoped that wherever they ended up didn't have a hard floor. Suddenly, the slope ended, and Shinji flew out of the duct and onto the floor. The hard floor. He started to get to his feet, wincing, when Asuka flew out of the pipe and hit him. He was knocked off his feet, cursing angrily. Asuka got to her feet, groaning in pain. Shinji decided not to chance getting up anymore, and Asuka had to pull him to his feet.
"Geez, you don't have to be such a weakling…"
They looked around, surveying the room. Actually, room was a rather kind description. The ceiling had been utterly destroyed in the JSSDF attack, along with most of the wall. Shinji swore when he saw the wreckage of metal on the floor. He swore again when he saw the sign on the wall marking the room as the A.T. Field Countermeasures Storage Facility. Everything in the room was completely and utterly destroyed.
"Dammit!" he yelled, furious.
Something in the shadows moved.
The two Children stopped, frozen in shock as something massive detached from the shadows above them. Asuka moved first, tackling Shinji out of the way as the massive white claw reached for him. It smashed into the ground where he had just stood, crumpling it like a tin can. She dove for the vent, pushing Shinji up in front of her, just as the monster lunged again. Shinji pulled out of his paralysis and began to climb, Asuka behind him. The duct was impossibly steep, and they had a massive amount of trouble just staying in place, let alone moving upwards. They kept moving through sheer terror of what would happen if they slipped. The beast roared in fury and tried to fit its fingers inside the duct. It snagged the back of Asuka's dress, and she screamed, sliding backwards. Shinji lunged back and grabbed her by the front of her uniform, and the part of the uniform the Eva had grabbed ripped, freeing her. They scrambled faster, and were rewarded with the rapidly lessening screams of fury coming from the Evangelion. They crawled back through the pitch-black tunnels, and Shinji was too relieved at their miraculous escape to get upset at the number of times he hit his head on the duct wall. Finally, they reached the end of the tunnels, and Shinji crawled out of the duct. He helped Asuka out behind him, carefully.
"Are you all right, Asuka?" he asked, worried.
She nodded, and began to say something else when the door leading to the A.T. Field Countermeasures room began to buckle and twist. They both whirled as blow after blow pounded on the other side, popping the hinges out one by one. The door began to fold outward, crumpling like paper. They ran without looking back.
The reached their room gasping for air. They had run nearly the whole way, horrified that any moment they would hear the bestial roar of the Evangelion and their lives would end. They walked into the room leaning on each other for support. With almost eerie synchronization, they both crawled into the futon. They could not know accurately what time it was, but NERV's main lights were on a timer in some areas to conserve energy, and the lights shut off at around sunset. The lights were off now. They decided not to get food, though they were hungry. They were still terrified that they would turn a corner and the Eva would be waiting for them, its leering face opened in a horrific grin, and so they decided to postpone going outside for as long as possible. Shinji was still shaking, their lucky escape scaring him more than he would admit.
Will we be so lucky next time?
He nearly jumped out of his skin when Asuka put her arms around him. She almost giggled at the look on his face, but found she was too frightened herself.
"It's all right, Shinji," she whispered, "We got away again…"
He smiled weakly, and tentatively put his arms around her.
She smiled back.
"Shinji, I…never mind. Goodnight, Shinji…"
She nuzzled against his neck. He closed his eyes blissfully, and fell into dreams.
Shinji opened his eyes to the sound of the ocean washing up onto the shore. The sky was black above him, the sand beneath him white as snow. He could remember almost nothing, only bits and pieces of Third Impact.
He turned his head, slowly, to his left, scanning the landscape and the blood-red sea. It took his brain a moment to recognize the presence of another on the beach. It took it considerably longer to establish who was lying next to him.
Asuka?
His memories began to sharpen. Now he remembered. She had abused him, rejected him. He got to his feet, slowly.
Asuka blinked, coming slowly into reality. Something was around her neck, choking her. She tried to bring her hands up to hit the attacker away, but she was too weak with sleep and lack of oxygen. In the darkness of the room, she could just make out the features of her attacker.
Shinji?
She moved her hand up, towards his face.
Shinji stopped dead when her hand brushed his face, caressing his cheek lightly and sliding away. But he only relaxed for a moment. A trick, he thought, Just a trick…
He began to squeeze again.
Asuka gasped for air, her eyes bulging. He had shrugged of her caress like she had done nothing at all and continued squeezing. With her last bit of air, she spoke.
"Shinji…love you too…I love you…"
He shook his head furiously. His eyes opened for a fraction of a second, but it was enough for her to see that the eyes were rolled up. He was dreaming.
"Too little, too late," he snarled, and squeezed harder.
Asuka began to die.
Shinji saw Asuka's struggles begin to weaken, and he smiled cruelly.
"Stop."
He stopped immediately, his hands loosening around her throat. He looked up. Rei was standing over the water, the bottoms of her shoes inches above the blood red sea. She shook her head slowly.
"You must stop, Ikari. This is a dream, but it is more than that. You are killing Asuka in reality as well."
He smiled viciously.
"So what?"
"You are not yourself, Ikari. Malkiah is using you to accomplish his goals. He is using your shattered memories of Instrumentality to make you kill the Second."
For a moment, confusion flickered across his face. Then he growled at her like an animal and turned back to his work. Asuka was returning to life, her chest moving in hitching gasps. He began to choke her once more, and when she moved her hand towards his cheek again, he backhanded her across the face.
"Stop, Ikari."
He looked up again. Rei was standing directly in front of him, looking down.
He hit her again, harder.
"She does love you, Ikari. She was not lying. Do you not love her?"
He shook his head angrily.
"She doesn't love me. That-bitch-could-never-love-me." He punctuated each word with a slap across Asuka's face. He brought his hand back to hit her again, and Rei grabbed it. Her face was no longer calm, no longer even remotely like her normal self. It was furious.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? I love you too, Ikari. But I knew you would be happier without me. Moreover, I knew that Asuka loved you and needed you. I want what is best for you, Ikari. Killing one of the only girls that had ever loved you is not it. Now break free of Malkiah or damn yourself for all eternity."
He shook his head again, but weakly this time, without conviction.
"She doesn't love me…Nobody could love me…"
"You are wrong, Ikari. If she did not love you, why would she care if you loved her?"
His eyes widened. His mouth opened and closed without making sound.
"She loves you, Ikari. Don't tell me you cannot see that…"
He pulled his hand free from Rei's with a sudden jerk, and grabbed Asuka. Rei moved to stop him, but he did not try to choke her. He held her against him, sobbing into her shoulder.
"Asuka!" he sobbed, "I'm so sorry, Asuka! I'm so sorry!"
"We shall meet again, Ikari." Rei said softly, "And know that I love you as well. Be happy…"
The dream dissolved.
Shinji woke in the same position as he had been in his dream, holding Asuka tight against his chest. For a horrible second he thought she was dead, and then he felt the rise of her chest against his arm. He gently lowered her unconscious body to the ground, still sobbing.
"…so sorry, Asuka…"
His fingers traced her cheek, and he grimaced in horror as he saw the multiple bruises.
I did that? he thought, I'm a monster.
He could not leave her, he told himself. He needed to make sure that she was okay, that she hadn't been to badly hurt.
Oh really? But didn't you hurt her in the first place? You should slit your wrists and be done with it, you goddamned monster.
He hugged Asuka again, and was rewarded with the sound of her returning to consciousness.
"Wha…Shinji…what happened?" she asked, still groggy from lack of air.
"I did something horrible to you, Asuka. I just want to make sure you're all right, then I'm going to leave so I can't hurt you anymore."
She shook her head slowly, comprehension dawning.
"I remember now… No, please, Shinji, don't leave. It wasn't your fault, you were sleepwalking or something…"
He shook his head angrily.
"Like hell it was! I was trying to kill you…again…"
"Dammit, Shinji! Stop being so goddamn stubborn! Listen to me: it was not your fault. For all you know, that monster, Malkiah or whatever his name was, did something to you."
"Why did you say you loved me?" he asked quietly.
She stared at him, shocked by the sudden change in direction.
"You-you heard that?"
He nodded slowly. She turned her head to the side, blushing slightly.
"I-I don't know why I said it… I just…I…"
"Was it true?"
She could not look him in the eye.
"I don't…know…"
He tried to smile, and was surprised that it worked.
"I guess that's all right. You don't have to decide. Listen, Asuka, I'm sor-"
"Stop saying you're sorry! I…fine, yes, I…love you. Are you happy now, baka?"
His smile widened.
"More than you could know."
He turned away and closed his eyes, leaving a bewildered Asuka staring after him.
"What was that supposed to mean? Hey, baka, wake up! Dammit, don't you dare do this to me! I am the great Asuka Langely Sorh-"
In one swift motion he turned over, grabbed her on either side of the face, and kissed her on the lips. She stared at him, dumbfounded.
"Figured that would shut you up… Goodnight."
He lay down again. Moments later he began to snore. She just sat and stared at his still form. After a moment, she moved over and put her arms around him. Before she went into sleep, she whispered into his ear.
"For your sake, I hope you wake up before me tomorrow, otherwise…well, you might have big balls now, but there's a fire axe down the hall, and that might change before tommorow…"
She was pleased to see the contented look on his sleeping face turn to one of fear.
"Pleasant dreams…" she whispered, and snickered.
Then she went back to sleep.
Shinji woke up quickly, his mind still retaining some fragment of Asuka's threat. He had nothing to worry about, though. She was still asleep, her arms around him, breathing softly. He hugged her tight for a moment, then relaxed his grip.
We're going to die.
He accepted the thought without fear. They probably would die, most likely in the next few days. They had escaped the Eva more times than he cared to remember, but each escape was closer, each encounter a brush with death. He accepted the fact of their likely death as well as he could. But it still hurt. Not his death, he had long since accepted that, but hers. He wished there was some way he could protect her, save her, but he knew that was most likely impossible. A single tear escaped his eye, running down his cheek and onto the futon.
Why should she die? She's so beautiful…
He decided. He may not be able to protect her if the Evangelion attacked them, but what if he could lure it away? He would leave the Geofront before she could even wake up, and the Eva would follow him, away from her.
She should be able to survive on her own, he consoled himself, she's always been strong.
He slid out of the futon. More accurately, he tried to. The instant he moved, she moaned something in her sleep and tightened her arms around him, trapping him. He struggled for a moment, trying to break free, but she was too strong. She mumbled something in her sleep. He froze, listening.
"Mama… Can I be happy now, Mama? Without you? I don't know, Mama…"
His resolve faltered. He could not leave her, even if he wanted to. He did not know what it would do to her. Instead of running, he wiped away his tears and held her as best he could. An eternity later, she finally awoke. She looked up at him, smiling faintly.
"Good morning Shinji. Did you sleep well?"
He nodded faintly, his eyes transfixed by the bruises across her face.
"Listen, Asuka, I'm really so-"
"If you say sorry again, I'll kill you!"
"Sor- Oh-okay, Asuka. But, what I did to you…"
"Shinji, if you think you're the first guy that has tried to choke me to death, than you don't know me as well as you think you do."
"What?"
She giggled, and he stared at her.
"Just kidding, Third Child. Seriously though, Shinji, it wasn't you fault. How many times must I say that?"
He shook his head.
"Wh-whatever you say, Asuka…"
She nodded.
"Of course. I'm the great Asuka Langely Sorhyu!"
He smiled crookedly.
"How could I forget?"
She smacked him on the arm, lightly.
"And I love you, Third Child, even if you are a baka."
He gaped at her.
"What?" she asked, "You think I was just saying that? Asuka Langely Sorhyu is a woman of her word! Now, let's go get food! I'm starving!"
He nodded, and crawled quickly out of the sleeping bag and began to stretch, yawning. She followed him, and after stretching herself, they changed. Shinji finished dressing and stepped out of the cubicle, where Asuka was waiting for him. She grabbed him by the shoulders, and kissed him on the lips. Then she ran out of the room, laughing. A minute later, he walked out of the room himself, just dodging the axe.
Over breakfast, they planned their next move.
"What do we do now? The A.T. Field weapons were completely destroyed." Shinji asked, thinking aloud.
She shrugged.
"Your guess is as good as mine. Personally though, I think we should leave."
He stared at her.
"What? It's a good idea! The Eva is down here, so we go up there. We've already searched the whole damn base, and found nothing! I say we leave now, while that thing is still down here."
He nodded, slowly.
"It would be a good idea, but we have no proof that the Eva is still down here. In fact, it may have some way of getting from the surface quickly. If we go out there, we might do nothing more than make ourselves easy targets."
She looked down, her auburn hair spilling over her face.
"Yes, but…well, we have to do something! We can't just sit here like rats in a cage waiting for that thing to catch us!"
He smiled and took her hand in his, gently. She looked up into his eyes.
"I didn't say we shouldn't do it. I was just warning you. I think we should go, as soon as possible. Maybe even today."
She shook her head.
"No, I think we should use today to prepare. We should be careful. The Eva might expect us to run once it knows that we realize it's down here."
He nodded.
"Good idea. We should go look for some sort of weapon. Even a pistol would do. We can't go out there unarmed."
She smiled and stood up, and he stood up with her. They left, faces bright with the thought of freedom.
The search had been moderately successful, as they had found two pistols and a rifle, with plenty of bullets. Shinji had the pistols tucked into either side of his belt, and Asuka had the rifle strapped to her back. The stepped into the room in which they had stayed the past few nights, still smiling with hope. As they walked in, they set their guns against the wall in preparation for the next day. Asuka tapped Shinji on the shoulder, and he turned around. She grabbed him by the face and kissed him hard on the lips, laughing.
"Tommorow we're getting the hell out of here! We're gonna get awa-"
"My, my, my… Can't keep your hands off him, can you?"
The voice had come from the shadows. Shinji and Asuka whirled, both instantly recognizing the voice. Malkiah stepped from the shadows, shaking his black cowled head. His cowl no longer dripped blood, but his face was still covered in darkness.
"The best laid plans of mice and men… or should I say cowards and whores?"
Asuka trembled.
"Don't call me that…" she said quietly, almost too quietly for him to hear.
"What? A whore? A slutty stupid little bitch with a psycho for a mother?" His voice changed in pitch, becoming a hideous parody of a woman's, "Die with me, Asuka, die with me…"
He laughed as Asuka began to sob, shaking with emotion. Shinji was close enough to hear what she said as she sobbed.
"I don't wanna, Mama! I don't wanna die!"
He turned to Malkiah, furious.
"You goddamn bastard! You-"
"So the coward stands up for his little tramp. How utterly shocking! You don't want me to hurt your precious Asuka-chan? You must run away Shinji. Run away while you still can."
He motioned with one hand, and Shinji flew into the wall. He crumpled to the floor, trying desperately to stay conscious. He saw, through a screen of darkness, Malkiah walk towards Asuka. He picked her up with one hand, laughing. With his other hand, he caressed her cheek, wiping away her tears.
"Ooh, my pretty… I am going to enjoy this. Let's see how much of a slut you really are…"
His other hand reached up to tear off her shirt.
Shinji screamed.
He pulled himself away from the wall as Malkiah turned to him. He lunged just as Malkiah raised his hand contemptuously to knock him away. Nothing happened. Malkiah gasped in shock as Shinji continued to lunge, grabbing Asuka and tearing her from his hands.
"You-you little bastard! How did you do that? How dare you take away my toy!"
Shinji was rolling across the floor, towards the rifle leaning against the wall. He was inches away when he just stopped. He floated in air, his fingers inches from the rifle, dumbfounded.
"I knew you couldn't escape me forever, boy."
Malkiah flicked his wrist, and Shinji flew sideways into the wall, dropping Asuka. Stars exploded in front of his eyes. Malkiah strode towards him, chuckling. He stopped a foot away and looked down at Shinji. Though Shinji could not see his face, he knew he must be smiling.
"Nice try, boy, I'll give you that. But now, I'm afraid, the lights go out forever for you. Oh, and don't worry…I'll take good care of sweet Asuka-chan…"
Shinji moaned weakly.
"No…Asuka…"
Malkiah laughed heartily.
"Sweet thing, isn't she? I probably won't get tired of her for hours."
They both heard the sound of a rifle cocking. Malkiah whirled, shocked. Asuka was standing directly behind him, aiming the rifle at his chest.
"Go back to hell," she said simply, and fired.
Bare milliseconds before the bullet hit him, Malkiah exploded into black dust. the bullets hit the wall behind him and ricocheted, missing Asuka by inches. Shinji and Asuka both stared dumbly at the fine black powder that coated the floor where Malkiah had stood. Asuka stepped forward, cautiously. The dust never moved. She stepped towards Shinji, who was trying to get up. She extended her hand, and he took it. He got to his feet and wavered unsteadily for a moment, until she put an arm around his shoulders to support him.
"Is he dead?" Shinji asked quietly.
The dust stirred, and a voice spoke from nowhere and from everywhere.
"Never, Children. Do you think you could kill a god?"
The voice came from the dust lying on the floor. They both stared in shock as it began to swirl as if caught in a tornado. The voice spoke again, ancient and unmistakably furious.
"You goddamned little bastards! This world is mine! Why must you try to keep it from me? You will pay in spades for this, Children. I was going to make it quick, Children, but now you are going to suffer for an eternity!"
The dust swirled faster and faster, until finally, with one last horrible laugh, it blew out of the room.
Shinji and Asuka stared after it. Then Shinji walked slowly to the door and closed it. He rested his back against it, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, Asuka was standing there, holding out her arm. He gratefully took it, and together, they walked back to the futon. They slid under the covers, relaxing in their warmth. Asuka looked at Shinji, and began to sob again. Shinji put his arms around her, and held her to his chest as she sobbed.
"Don't cry, Asuka. That bastard…he's gone now…"
She looked up at him, tears glistening in the light.
"Do you still love me? Even though I'm a…a…"
He smiled, and kissed her softly on the lips.
"Of course, Asuka. I love you, and I always will."
She smiled happily, and tried to hold back the sobs.
"Thank…thank you. I love you, too…"
He held her, trying to hold back his own tears. She buried her face into his chest and held him. He held her back, smiling fiercely, protectively. Minutes later, the lights went out, but they were already asleep.
"Isn't the day beautiful, Shinji?"
The voice was Yui Ikari's. She, Shinji and Asuka were sitting together on a green hillside. Asuka was fast asleep, half-laying on top of Shinji. Before them was a beautiful view of Tokyo-3, shrouded in mist and completely unharmed.
"Mother?"
She turned to him, her face kind.
"Yes, Shinji. It is nice to see you again. It had been a while."
"But, mother, aren't you…gone?"
"You underestimate the power of the Evangelion."
"How could I?"
She chuckled.
"It is so nice to see you happy again, Shinji. I don't think you've been truly happy since I died…"
He lowered his head.
"I guess not…" he brightened, "But now I've got Asuka…"
Yui nodded.
"She's a lovely girl, more so for what she's been through. I'm glad you could find someone that makes you so happy. To love is truly one of the greatest feelings man can ever have."
"Mother?" he asked, trembling. "Does Asuka really love me? Or is she just…just…"
Yui smiled.
"You do not think yourself worthy of her love? She does love you, Shinji. You, along with the entire world, were brought together by Instrumentality. Because of this, she saw into your soul, Shinji. She saw that you cared for her, and it changed her…is still changing her."
"I…I guess… But…"
"She is not the Asuka you know?"
He nodded, slowly.
'Does that matter? You are not the same person either."
"Why have you come here, mother?"
She seemed not at all perturbed by the change in direction. "To see how you were doing, and to offer my help. You were lucky to survive Malkiah, Shinji. Incredibly lucky. But now, perhaps, you see what Rei was talking about, the strength of your soul…"
He shook his head, slowly, and her face became grave.
"You will, Shinji, you will. And the truth will either set you free, or tear your soul asunder."
Shinji began to speak, but then Asuka moved against him, speaking in her sleep, her face drawn and sad.
"Mama? Mama, where are you?"
Yui raised one hand and brushed a lock of auburn hair from Asuka's face.
"Right here, Asuka, I'm right here."
And for a moment the voice was not his mother's. It was the voice of a woman he did not recognize, kindly and soft. Asuka smiled in her sleep, and put her arms around Shinji.
"Mama…" she said contentedly.
A tear rolled down Shinji's cheek.
"She's going to die, mother, and there's nothing I can do…"
Yui brushed his tear away, smiling.
"Not all is preordained, Shinji. You cannot predict the future."
Slowly, she began to fade.
"Mother? Why are you leaving, mother?"
She shook her head sadly.
"I have no choice, Shinji. I will see you again. Protect Asuka, Shinji, but protect yourself as well. You are as worthy of living as she is. I love you, Shinji…"
She faded, leaving Shinji and Asuka alone on the hillside. Shinji put his arms around Asuka and kissed her lightly on the forehead.
"I love you too, mother…"
The dream dissolved.
Shinji woke up, blinking sleepily. He gently moved Asuka's arms aside, and crawled out of the futon. He changed quickly, then walked to the wall where they had placed the guns. He gave them a final check. They all seemed to be in good condition, so he grabbed the pistols and shoved them in his belt. He carried the rifle over, and placed it next to Asuka. Then he began to gently shake her awake.
"Asuka…Asuka, wake up…"
She pushed him sleepily away.
"Don't wanna get up. Wanna stay here…"
She turned over, pulling the covers over herself. He sighed, then turned her over and kissed her hard on the lips. She struggled against him, but he held still, holding her against him. With a final desperate shove, she pushed him away. She crawled out from beneath the covers and hit him on the arm.
"Baka Hentai! That is not how you wake someone up!"
He smiled crookedly.
"It worked, didn't it? We need to go, Asuka. The sooner we get out of this place, the better."
She nodded, rubbing the back of her arm across her lips.
"You're still a hentai."
She grabbed a change of clothes and walked into one of the many cubicles along the side of the room. While she changed, Shinji checked his pistols once more, checking to see if they were loaded correctly. They were, so he put them back in his belt. He looked up, straight into the barrel of the rifle. He screamed, falling backwards. Asuka lowered the gun, laughing.
"That was for kissing me without permission, baka!"
"You don't need to ask permission to kiss!"
"You do with me." She hooked the rifle strap across he chest, and still laughing, extended her hand. He took it and stood up, glaring at her.
"There's no need to be angry, Third Child. Fine, I give you permission to kiss me."
He grinned evilly.
"Maybe I don't want to."
"What? You dare refuse the beautiful Asuka Langely Sorhyu? Fine then, you don't have a choice!"
She yanked him forward by the front of the shirt and kissed him on the lips. He mock struggled, but she held the kiss. Finally, she broke away, smiling.
"Now we can leave, Third Child."
They did.
They walked into the sun, smiling and holding hands. It had taken them several hours to find stairs leading to the surface, as all the elevators they had found had been sabotaged in the JSSDF attack, but in the end, they had finally exited the Geofront. The sun felt wonderful on their faces, and for a moment they just closed their eyes and looked up, smiling. When they opened their eyes again, they took their bearings. The exit they had taken from the Geofront was near a large cluster of buildings, many partially destroyed. They walked into the jungle of concrete and metal apprehensively, realizing that if the Evangelion wished to ambush them, it would probably be here. As they walked further into the city, they realized the light was fading, the day rapidly becoming night. Apparently it had taken them longer than they had originally thought to escape from the Geofront. They found a small park an hour into their hike, and they called for a temporary rest break. They both sat down on a bench, relieved at a chance to finally stop walking, if only for a moment. Shinji closed his eyes and lay down, sighing with pleasure. A moment later, Asuka lay on top of him and put her arms around him.
"Finally out of the stupid Geofront…" she muttered, and he smiled.
He opened his eyes and the smile disappeared like it had never been there in the first place.
Flying high above them, circling like a vulture, was the horrific white form of the Evangelion. As he watched, slack jawed in horror, the Eva folded its wings and dived, roaring in hatred. He grabbed Asuka and rolled off the bench, praying that he would be out of the path of the Eva. One of his pistols fell out of his belt and was crushed a second later as the Eva's right foot smashed into the ground mere feet away, sending chunks of earth in all directions. Shinji and Asuka got to their feet and began to run, frantically hoping that they would not be noticed until they could reach some sort of shelter. No such luck. A massive white fist smashed down directly in front of them, barring their exit. A flying chunk of earth scraped a path down Shinji's left cheek. They turned, but the Eva was already there, looming over them. Its face split in a grotesque smile, and it shot one fist towards them, incredibly quick. They screamed, holding their hands in front of them in a futile attempt to ward off death. At the last second, Shinji grabbed Asuka and kissed her hard, hoping to die happy.
A moment passed, and death did not come. Shinji cracked open one eye, cautiously. The Eva was standing above them, roaring in fury, his fist pressed up against an orange octagonal wall of power. It was instantly familiar, and Shinji gasped in shock. It was an A.T. Field.
To be continued…
Boy, I bet I've made a lot of enemies this chapter! Woo-boy! Well, this tale is winding down to a close, and we have but one more book before the end. Of course, then there's the epilogue. Also of course, I have some ideas for a sequel. Not very good ideas, but then again…I…I don't know how to finish that sentence. Malkiah is one sick fuck, ain't he? Trying to rape 14-year-olds and all. Well, write what you know… Oh shit, that sounds bad. Moving on, the next book shall be titled Resurrection of Evangelion.
Now, an Essay on Evangelion. All four of you that still are reading these after the last one, I will extend my usual warning. FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, DON'T READ IT! If you thought that my opinion of Asuka and Shinji was obnoxious and egotistical, wait until you read this. It's about darkfics. Yup, darkfics. I just lost you, didn't I? I'm just writing to myself, aren't I? Good, it'll save you guys brain damage. Seriously though, if you dislike or just downright hate my essays, then please just don't read them. They are not an essential part of my story in any way, just a kind of half-assed omake. Don't let them detract from your enjoyment of the story. It will do that on its own.
An Essay on Evangelion
Part 3
Attention (almost) all writers of darkfics: I hate you as much as you hate yourselves. I mean, you would have to hate yourself and everything living to write this stuff, wouldn't you? Unfortunately, I have read a lot of darkfics, and I have been permanently scarred. Seriously though, have you ever read a darkfic and felt good afterwards? How could you? Shinji goes crazy and kills people, usually either himself or Asuka (sometimes Misato. I mean she's in the same apartment, so what the hell, three for the price of one, right?), Asuka commits suicide, everyone just plain dies for some stupid reason. Who the fuck actually wants to read this stuff, let alone write it? I mean, whatever happened to all the good people out there? I realize an absurdly happy ending can be irritating, but seriously, what is the point of good losing? What is the point of everything being for nothing? An unhappy ending may be original, but that is like saying baking a baby rotisserie style is original. I understand that everyone reading this will just think I'm narrow-minded and naïve, and that is certainly true, but remember this: They are just children. Nobody on Earth deserves what you heap on Evangelion so profusely, even a fiction. And while Evangelion is not real, that is no excuse to kill every in it. What you write is what you are, because you write for yourself. What you write is what you think and believe. It is your most innermost thoughts and (dare I say) desires. In other words, you would not write it if you did not like it. Now, the thing about darkfics: They are not badly written in most cases; in fact darkfiction is usually written very well. And therein lies the problem: Why don't you use your talents for something good and enjoyable? Do any of you care at all about Shinji or Asuka or Rei or Misato? I already established that I loved them and am thus a fucking lunatic, but doesn't anyone at least like them?
I realize that not everyone who writes this stuff is just depressed and spiteful. Some people write it just to get it out of their system. Well, anyone who does that, listen carefully: Write it, but never post it. If you post it, you just depress other people as well, but if you just write it, print it out, and burn it, then at least you don't depress other people. And hey, maybe you cheer yourself up, too. For all you guys who just kill Shinji and everybody else because you're depressed, I have a solution as well: Remove yourself from the mortal coil. In other words, if life is so miserable you can't take it anymore, then just get a gun and erase yourself. Good luck in the next life. Seriously though, don't post it. You're just transferring your depression, and that's just plain selfish. So think about this the next time you write a darkfic; there is no point to life if good loses, even in something as insignificant as a story. If evil will win in the end, what is the point of existing? There is none.
Send all comments, criticisms, and flames (gonna get a lot of these) to