This is probably my most gruesome chapter. Viewer discretion advised. Oh, and don't expect a wonderful ending that blows away everything I've done so far. I tried, but I probably failed.
No, make that definitely failed.
Rage Against the Dying of the Light/Everybody Needs Somebody
Book Four
Resurrection of Evangelion
Things need not have happened to be true.
Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths
that will endure when mere facts are dust
and ashes, and forgot.
-Dream
"Sandman"
Mama, take this badge from me
I can't use it anymore
Getting dark, too dark to see
Feels like I'm knocking on heaven's door
-Guns 'n' Roses
"Knocking on Heaven's Door"
Though they go mad,
they shall be sane
Though they sink through
the sea, they shall rise again
Though lovers be lost,
love shall not
And death shall have no dominion.
-Dylan Thomas
"Death Shall Have No Dominion"
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
-Dylan Thomas
"Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night"
He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
-Steven King
"IT"
So it was written, and so it shall be. Let the ceremony of undying begin…
The Evangelion howled in fury. So close, it had been so close! He had done everything his master had told him, he had followed his master's orders exactly. But then, somehow, those bastard Children had fooled him again, had tricked him once more. Impossibly, they had formed an A.T. Field, had stopped him when he was moments away from finally ending their puny lives. It enraged him, drove him wild with fury. He pounded his fists against the A.T. Field again and again, screaming in rage, but it held strong. He could see the Children through the orange light of the A.T. Field. They were mocking him, pretending they were frightened just to taunt him. With another roar of absolute hatred, it slammed both fists down on the A.T. Field. With a tearing sound, they punched through, slamming into the ground mere feet in front of the Children. He stood there, shocked, as the Children began to run. He would have continued to stand there in disbelief had not a voice spoken in his head, the voice of his master.
Fool! it cried, They are getting away!
He snapped out of his shock and began to run, following the Children in long, loping strides. He covered the distance easily, and as he ran, he smiled in anticipation. It reached one hand out to grab them, roaring in victory.
They disappeared.
He stopped, eyes wide in fury and shock. There was a large hole in the ground where the Children had been. Nothing but a thrice-damned hole! He screamed to the heavens, venting his hatred and rage for all the world to hear. Several buildings nearby collapsed, but he was beyond caring. The voice spoke again, commanding.
Calm yourself, my pretty! They have gotten away, but that is of no consequence. The ceremony begins already! Here is what you must do…
He cocked one head to the side, listening to a voice only he could hear. Slowly, ever so slowly, he began to smile.
Asuka came to slowly, her head aching. All she could remember was running, then the ground falling out from under them, then nothing but darkness. She turned her head to the side, and was greeted by the sight of Shinji sitting on a pile of concrete beside her. He looked down at her warmly.
"You all right? You've been out for a while…"
She shook her head, but this only resulted in more pain.
"Wh-where are we?"
He looked around, then sighed.
"I have no idea. All I know is that we fell down a hole. Apparently, we got lucky again, because I don't see the Eva anywhere…"
She tried to get up, and he got to his feet to help her. She shook her head.
"Don't. I-I can get up on my own. I don't need your help…"
She saw the hurt look on his face and relented, putting an arm around his shoulder for support.
When she finally gained her feet, she looked up. It was dark, but she could just make out the outline of a hole quite a ways above them. But something was wrong about the hole. It was too…perfect. She turned to Shinji.
"Shinji?"
He looked up as well.
"I know. I was wondering about that, too. I don't think the Eva caused that hole. I think we did."
She stared at him.
"With an A.T. Field, I mean."
She opened her mouth to speak again, but nothing came out. He shook his head.
"No, I don't know how we could possibly make an A.T. Field. Thinking about it made my head hurt, so I stopped after a while."
He smiled.
"It's getting kind of late, and I figured it would be a bad idea to sleep in the open with the Eva still around, so I looked around for some shelter." He cocked a thumb behind him "There is a room back there that had a couple of blankets, so I made a bed as best I could."
She continued to stare straight ahead. He chuckled, then put an arm around her shoulder and directed her to the room. He led her into the room and tucked her between the musty sheets. Then he got up and turned to leave.
"Shinji? Where are you going?"
He turned back and smiled gently.
"I've slept a little already. Plus, we need a guard to make sure the Eva doesn't attack again. Don't worry, I'll be right outside."
"When did I say I was worried?"
He laughed, and then turned and left the room. She turned on her side and tried to get to sleep as best she could. It was a long time coming, and a single thought followed her into her dreams
An A.T. Field?
"How do you feel knowing you killed him?"
Asuka opened her eyes. She was sitting on a chair in the center of a large spotlight. Her arms were tied behind her back. She searched the shadows around her, looking for whoever had spoken.
"What are you talking about?"
Something detached from the shadows and stepped forwards. It was Malkiah.
"How do you feel knowing that you are going to be responsible for Shinji's death?"
She struggled against her bonds.
"What the hell are you talking about? If you touch Shinji, I will kill you!"
He both hands in front of him, pantomiming innocence.
"I never said I would kill Ikari. You are going to do that for me. Well, at least he'll think it's you."
With that his cloak began to merge and twist, forming into an entirely new shape. When the transformation was complete, a young red-haired girl stood in front of her. Asuka gaped in shock. Malkiah laughed, his voice an exact duplicate of hers.
"I'm the great Asuka Langely Sorhyu! I'm a stupid whore, and today I'm going to kill Shinji Ikari!"
Asuka lowered her head and began to cry. Malkiah laughed again.
"I'm glad you like it. Well, now I have business to attend to. Don't worry, Asuka, I'll make it very, very slow. I'll make him scream your name, Asuka. I'll make it scream it as he dies."
He faded away, leaving a sobbing Asuka struggling to break free. She shook her head, tears spilling from her eyes.
"Shinji! Godammit, no!"
The ropes fell free of her hands. She whirled around, shocked. Kaji stood there, holding a knife and the remains of the rope. He tossed the ropes contemptuously aside, and smiled wryly.
"You'd better get going, Asuka. You may still be able to save him."
She hugged him fiercely, and the dream dissolved.
Shinji leaned up against the wall and looked up at the stars above. He was so entranced, he hardly noticed Asuka until she was already beside him.
"What are you doing, Shinji?"
He jumped, shocked.
"Jesus, Asuka! Don't do that to me!"
She giggled, her hand over her mouth. Soon, Shinji found himself laughing as well.
"Sorry, Shinji."
He shook his head.
"It's all right, Asuka. I was…I was just looking at the stars."
She grabbed his hand gently in hers.
"Mind if I look with you?"
He blushed, then shook his head.
"N-no, Asuka."
Her face turned grave.
"Shinji have you seen…anything strange around here?"
He shook his head slowly, and she smiled.
"Good."
Then she tore off his arm.
Asuka awoke to the sounds of screaming. No! she thought, I'm too late! She jumped out of the makeshift bed and out the door, screaming in horror. Her eyes widened in shock at the sight that greeted her. Lying on the floor, in a widening pool of blood, was Shinji Ikari. Blood was splattered all over the walls and floor, dripping from every available surface, running in lazy streams in all directions. She wondered for one brief sickening instant how one person could possibly have so much blood in their body. Then she ran forward, shrieking. She grabbed him in her arms and felt for a pulse desperately. It was there, but it was weak, incredibly weak. His eyes fluttered open.
"Asuka? Wh…why?"
She shook her head fiercely.
"It wasn't me, Shinji, it was Malkiah! It was…it was…"
Shinji nodded.
"I thought so. I knew…I knew you wouldn't do that…" He coughed, and blood spurted from his mouth. She looked at the ruin of his body, sobbing. Both arms were missing, and his legs were twisted at horrible angles.
"Shinji?" she sobbed, "Are you going to die?"
He nodded, and it was an effort.
"I'm sorry, Asuka… Just know that I lov-"
From out of nowhere a foot stepped on his head and crushed it, ending his life instantly. Asuka looked up in shock. Malkiah was standing there, still in Asuka's guise. He reached down with one hand and wiped the brains from his shoe.
"Sorry, but I just can't stand deathbed speeches! That baka needed to just die anyway!"
He laughed, and instantly reverted back to his normal self. Asuka stared at him, uncomprehending.
"Shinji?" she choked out, "Shinji?"
He laughed merrily.
"Dead, just like your mama! Just like everyone who you've ever loved!"
She broke down sobbing, squeezing the shattered remains of Shinji's body to her chest.
Malkiah reached for her, still laughing. Instantly, an A.T. exploded into life and knocked him away.
"What the hell?" he hissed. "How can this be?"
She continued to sob, holding Shinji against her. He started forward again, but once more the A.T. Field shoved him back. He hissed in rage and stepped back.
"This cannot be happening! This is my moment of triumph!"
He pushed all of his power against the A.T. Field, but it held firm. Asuka never even looked up, so lost was she in grief. With a final desperate hiss of fury, he disappeared.
"I will be back, child! And you will join him in death!"
Asuka did not stop crying for a long time. When, finally, her last tear was spent, she kissed Shinji's ruined lips one final time, and stood up. She looked down over him and wiped away the rest of her tears.
"I-I'll kill the bastard, Shinji… I'll kill him for you…" She sobbed one final time. "Then…then I'm going to…join you… I-I love you, Shinji."
She walked away slowly, her eyes burning with fury.
Shinji came slowly into consciousness. He was in a room he found very familiar. It was the room he had frequented so often as an Eva pilot.
"The…hospital?" he thought aloud.
"Yes, Ikari."
He turned his head, startled. Rei Ayanami was sitting beside his hospital bed, her face nearly as expressionless as always, save for a small smile that graced her lips.
"Wh-what happened, Ayanami? I thought I was dead?"
"You were, Ikari, and still are."
His eyes widened.
"A-Asuka?"
"She is safe. For the moment."
He nodded, his face troubled.
"But…why am I here?"
She lowered her head.
"You are…to kill Malkiah…"
He stared at her.
"What are you talking about?"
"You are to kill Malkiah."
"But-but how?"
"That is not for me to know, it is for you to discover."
He slumped.
"But we've already shot him. It didn't do anything!"
"I do not know, Ikari. But I believe that is because you tried to kill him in the world of the living. This is his world, Ikari, the world of the dead. Perhaps, here he is mortal…"
Shinji shook his head. She put a hand gently on his shoulder.
"It does not matter, Ikari. You will do what you must, when you must. You can do no less."
He smiled, but it was pained.
"Ayanami…you said you loved me. What did you mean?"
She looked away.
"I meant what I said. I…did it bother you?"
He shook his head violently.
"Of course not! I…just…"
"You love another. I have already accepted that." As she spoke, they both knew it was a lie.
"You're lying!"
She looked at him.
"I…maybe I am…"
He took her hand in his.
"I…am sorry, Rei. I would never hurt you…"
"You need not worry, Ikari. I do love you, but I would never be so selfish as to take you from her. Love is more than that. If you are happy…then so am I…"
Ayanami got up and began to walk towards the door.
"Where are you going?" he asked, startled.
She turned back to him and smiled.
"Let us leave it at that, Ikari. The Secon-Asuka…is truly blessed…"
He smiled sadly.
"It doesn't matter anymore… I'm dead, remember…"
She walked over and slapped him across the face, hard. He stared in shock.
"Do you honestly think that could possibly matter? Your soul is stronger than that. Love cannot be stopped by something so inconsequential as death…"
She smiled a final time, and walked out of the room, leaving a gaping Shinji staring in her wake.
The door swung slowly closed. It shut, and the world dissolved. Shinji closed his eyes in nausea as the world twisted about him, fusing and merging until it felt like his body would be rent apart. Then, with shocking suddenness, it stopped. He opened his eyes, slowly. He was standing on a ledge in the late afternoon sun, looking out over Tokyo-3. To his right side was Misato, resting her elbows on the railing.
"Isn't it beautiful, Shinji?" she said sadly, "I remember the first time we came here… You were just a child then. You've grown, Shinji…"
He shook his head.
"I haven't changed, Misato. I've just found better lies to live behind."
She turned to him.
"Such as?"
"Well…I…"
"Asuka loves you. So does Rei. So do I. Where is the lie, Shinji?"
He shook his head angrily.
"You don't understand!"
"Yes I do, Shinji. I understand perfectly. You're running away again."
He stared at her.
"Have you given up already Shinji? You can kill Malkiah, Shinji. You are the only one that can."
He lowered his head.
"But…Asuka…"
She snorted, and turned back to look at the sunset.
"Who would have thought? Love is a surprising thing, Shinji. You can save her, you know. You can save yourself as well. Just stop running away."
"What makes you think I can?"
"If you run away, what do you think will happen to Asuka? She will probably kill the Eva as she has sworn to do. Then of course, she'll kill herself."
"No…"
"Yes, Shinji. When you run away, you never see what follows in your wake. Kill Malkiah, Shinji."
She reached into her jacket and pulled out her pistol. She handed it to him and he took it blankly.
"This is all I have to give you Shinji. Use it when you need to, and you will be surprised what it can do."
She grabbed him by either side of the head and kissed him on the lips. The kiss lasted a long time, and when she finally broke it, Shinji was nearly gasping for breath.
"We won't do the rest when you come back, Shinji. You've got Asuka for that."
He blushed and she giggled, putting her arm around his shoulders.
The sun faded from the horizon, and so did the world.
The nausea hit again, and he doubled over from the force of it, his eyes squeezed shut in pain.
The pain stopped, but he refused to open his eyes. Opening his eyes hurt too.
"For someone who hates pain so much, you sure do get a lot of it, don't you, Shinji?"
He recognized the voice. He opened his eyes, and he was standing in front of Kaji's melon patch. Kaji was beside him, watering the melons. He turned to Shinji and smiled roguishly.
"It is nice to see you again, Shinji."
Shinji nodded, smiling. Then he realized with some surprise that he still had the gun. He held it up into the light. Then, slowly, he placed it into his belt.
"Nice of Misato to give you that. Not sure how well it will work, but anything is worth a try."
"Kaji, I…"
"Don't know what to do next? Don't worry, Shinji, you don't have a choice."
He turned to Kaji incredulously.
"Anyway, Shinji, I'm afraid I have nothing to give you, except some advice. The measure of a man is not only in his actions, but also in his thoughts. And your thoughts are more pure than you may think." He paused. "On a more personal note, Asuka loves rubies. She once told me that when I married her, she wanted me to buy her the biggest ruby in the world."
Shinji's face reddened.
"Wha-what do you mean by that?"
Kaji smiled innocently.
"Just preparing for the future. You're a lucky boy, Shinji Ikari. For Asuka to love you like that is an incredible thing. Maybe I should be jealous."
Shinji smiled.
"Don't worry, Shinji. You will see her again. Once you do this one, final, thing."
The world faded again, and Shinji once more found himself twisting through reality. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the spinning stopped. A voice spoke.
"Jeez, Kensuke, what do you think happened to him?"
"Dunno. Maybe Demon-Girl punched him again."
Shinji opened his eyes, shocked.
He was sitting around a campfire. Touji and Kensuke were sitting on either side of him, smiling.
"What are you guys doing here?"
They laughed.
"You think you could go off and get your ass kicked by some super-monster without us saying goodbye first?"
He smiled.
"I guess not."
Their faces suddenly turned serious.
"You've betrayed us again, Shinji Ikari."
"Wh-what are you talking about?"
"You actually fell in love with Demon-Girl." Touji said gravely, "Why, Shinji? Did she promise you candy? Because if she did, then she's lying." He pointed an accusing finger at Shinji.
Shinji laughed.
"It's nothing like that, guys. She's just…changed…"
"Had sex yet?"
Shinji's mouth dropped open.
"Wha-wha-wh-w-"
They shook their heads.
"Sad, Shinji, just sad. What kind of a man are you?"
"You don't understand…"
They smiled warmly.
"We understand perfectly, Shinji, and we're proud." Kensuke said, smiling.
"We just joking with ya, Shinji. You and the Dem-Asuka, I think you'll do just fine."
They both slapped him on the back simultaneously, nearly knocking him into the fire.
And the world dissolved into endless black. This time, however, it was different. This time, there was no pain, only a gentle warmth that sunk into his very being. He looked around, surprised, as a light formed in the darkness and came towards him.
"Mother?"
It was. She stopped in front of him, her body wreathed in light.
"Hello, Shinji. It is time. Have you said your good-byes?"
He nodded, trying to stop himself from trembling in fear. She reached for him and slowly caressed his cheek.
Do not worry, Shinji. You will succeed. You must succeed."
"Mother?" he asked, "What is Malkiah?"
She smiled sadly.
"He is our failure."
The world dissolved one final time.
Asuka spit into the crater that marked the footstep of an Evangelion.
"Godammit!" she snarled, furious.
In the days that had followed Shinji's death, Asuka had changed, and not for the better. She had become like an animal, never changing her clothes, never stopping except to eat and sleep, and even then for as little time as possible. Shinji's death had, for all intents and purposes, broken her. Now she existed for the sole purpose of killing the Evangelion. She had surmised that killing the Evangelion would bring Malkiah, and when he came, she would simply kill him. Well, simply wasn't the word. She would tear him apart, piece by piece. She smiled, her face savage and brutal. Then she continued walking, her goal within reach. For better or worse, her path was set. The thought of how she would kill the Evangelion when she finally found him had scarcely crossed her mind. All she knew was that she would bathe in his blood.
Shinji opened his eyes. He was lying in his old room, the one he had stayed in while he had lived with Misato and Asuka. But now the room he had frequented so often had become nearly unrecognizable. The walls were crumbling, the ceiling partially collapsed. For all appearances, the room had not been touched for a long, long, time. He got to his feet, his features clouded with confusion and wariness. He stepped over a massive chunk of rubble and out into the hall. The hall was, amazingly, in even worse shape than the rest of the house. The floor twisted at an insane angle, and the far wall was little more than a chunk of fused wood. He walked down the hall as best he could, stepping over the strewn debris. As he passed Asuka's room, he was startled to hear sobbing. He knocked on the door, worried. The sobbing stopped. From the other side of the door, there was the sound of something falling to the floor. To Shinji, it sounded like a corpse hitting the ground. A voice spoke, a hideous parody of Asuka's.
"Not quite…"
It sounded dead and horrible, but still, underneath, Shinji could hear Asuka. He could hear the girl, the woman, he loved, and thus he did not run. The door opened.
Something hot and wet splashed on Shinji's leg. It took a moment for him to realize that he had just pissed in his pants. Asuka stood at the door, or, rather, what Asuka would have looked like had she been dead for years. Her skull was partially caved in, exposing the rotten meat of the brain within. Her arms and legs held on by clumps of tissue, and a massive hole was carved in her chest that let Shinji see into the room behind her. One eye was gone, but the remaining one, bloodshot and bulging, rolled up to meet him. He tried to scream in horror, but it was torn from his throat as she lunged forward and hugged him. One arm tore from her body due to the sudden movement.
"Shinji!" she cried, her voice garbled and simpering. "I've missed you, Shinji!"
Now the shrieks came, tearing up from his lungs again and again. He pulled himself from her grip and screamed again and again. She looked at him sadly, then smiled. A swarm of maggots crawled from her mouth.
"Just playing hard to get, aren't you, Shinji-kun?"
He ran, heedless of the dangerous rubble sticking from the wall and the floor. Countless times he was nearly impaled, but he moved at the last second, escaping with only a scratch. Behind him, he could hear Asuka's harsh breaths as she came after him, sobbing once more. He entered the kitchen and caught only a glimpse of Misato, her corpse swarming with flies. One glimpse was enough. He smashed into the door, tearing it from its hinges, and ran out into the night. He ran, long after he ran out of breath. When he finally collapsed to the ground, too weary to run any more, he found himself in front of a building he found far too familiar. It was his school, now crumbling and decrepit. He lay on the concrete for a moment, gasping for breath, the images of his nightmare home still fresh in his mind. After a long time, he stumbled to his feet. He walked forward, towards the school. He stopped in front of the doors, his nerve suddenly gone. Then he pushed them open and stepped into the shadows.
Asuka smiled. The Eva, her quarry, lay right before her. She was hiding in the rubble of what had once been a supermarket, waiting for the prey she knew would come. She was not disappointed. Scarce moments after she had found her hiding spot and begun to wait, the Evangelion had stepped from the shadows of the ruined building across from her. Now she shifted a little, ready to lunge. The Evangelion stepped further into the light and sniffed the air like an animal. She waited, her body twitching with anticipation. Then he stepped full into the light, and she lunged. She stood up and raised her hands in front of her, willing her A.T. Field into life. Nothing happened. She snarled, and concentrated harder. The Evangelion stepped forward, anticipating an easy kill. Finally, she brought the field into existence, and the Eva stopped, curious. It reached one hand forward tentatively, and pressed against the A.T. Field. It gave easily, collapsing into nothingness. Asuka had gone too long without food or rest, and it had taken its toll. She fell to her knees, her energy sapped. The Eva smiled, then moved forward.
The drums were getting louder. Shinji had been hearing them for minutes now, strange tribal beats that whispered of horrors unimaginable. He realized now that he should have brought a flashlight, as the halls were far too dark to find anything, and he was spending more time than he wished to searching fruitlessly. He was heading towards the auditorium now, as that was the largest place in the school, and would be best for… His train of thought slipped from him, and he found himself wondering once more what had made him enter this godforsaken place in the first place. He stepped in something slick and wet, and his feet slipped out from under him. He hit the ground, wincing. His eyes bulged in horror. Across the hallway was the smeared remainder of a message written in blood. The final letter was smudged by his shoe, but still perfectly legible.
Last chance, boy.
He got to his feet, trembling in horror. He could see before him, nearly lost in the shadows, the shattered remains of the door leading to the auditorium. A trickle of light spilled from them, and beyond, he could hear the drums beating. He stepped over the blood-scrawled message and into the auditorium.
"I'll never lose! Not to the likes of you!" Asuka snarled, and spat at the approaching Evangelion. He simply smiled, and extended his hand to grab her. Her A.T. Field flared into life around her, weak and flickering. The smile never left the Evangelion's face. He placed his hand around the barrier that surrounded her and began to squeeze.
The strength left Shinji's body in a rush and he crumpled to his knees. In the center of the auditorium was large table. On that table lay the spread-eagled and eviscerated corpse of Rei Ayanami. Around it stood the members of his class, leering at her dead body and shouting insults. Some had drums, which they were playing in beat to something Shinji did not recognize or ever want to. Some were carrying crude spears formed from sticks. They jabbed at Rei's body with the spears, spilling blood. Shinji screamed in rage, and they turned to face him, their faces contorting in hate. Shinji lunged forward, and tore a spear from the nearest classmate, his gun forgotten. He snarled in hatred and jabbed at the approaching mob. They never stopped. The first was impaled on Shinji's spear, but there were more, and soon they began to drag him down, foregoing the spears in favor of sheer brute force. Suddenly, they stopped, their faces filled with fear. As one, they backed away from him and turned to the stage, falling to their knees. The stage was covered in darkness, and it began to twist and warp, forming something dark and hideous. Malkiah stepped from the shadows, chuckling.
"Well, Shinji, how nice to have you here. I see you've ignored my warning?"
Shinji remembered the gun and pulled it from his belt. Malkiah snorted in contempt.
"You honestly think that will work, boy?"
Shinji pointed the gun at Malkiah, his grip wavering. About him, the crowd began to move, but Malkiah stopped them with a motion of his hand.
"Do you like this world, Shinji Ikari? This existence?"
The gun lowered. Shinji stared at Malkiah, confused.
"What?"
Malkiah gasped mockingly.
"You mean she never told you? Anything?"
Shinji shook his head.
"Instrumentality failed, Shinji Ikari. But SEELE had no idea of what the consequences of that failure would be. It split the world, divided it into thousands of realities, thousands of states of being. You were the tool to bring about Instrumentality, and so it took your deepest, darkest desires and formed them into different versions of the world. This is one of your sick little fantasies, boy!"
Shinji gasped in shock, and the gun nearly fell from his grip.
"You are a sick little bastard, Shinji Ikari."
Shinji screamed in fury and fired the gun. The bullet tore into Malkiah's robe, splashing blood all over the stage. The mob of students roared in hatred and rushed towards him, but he was already moving, jumping onto the stage. He ran to Malkiah, who lay gasping on the ground in a pool of blood.
"H-how?" Malkiah asked, his voice shocked.
He leveled the gun at Malkiah and shrugged.
"Damned if I know. Now go back to hell."
"Wait!" Malkiah screamed, and Shinji stopped. So did the mob, struck by the terror in his voice. "You don't understand who I am! If you kill me, she won't love you anymore! You-"
Shinji fired, the gun bucking in his hands. The bullet disintegrated inches from Malkiah. He fired again and again, screaming in fury, but the bullets never even got close. The gun stopped firing, empty. He stared at it, his eyes dazed and uncomprehending. Malkiah began to laugh.
"I guess it was a lucky shot, boy. Now, you die." He motioned, and the mob moved forwards, screaming for blood. Shinji closed his eyes, not wanting to see what was going to happen to him. In his mind's eye he saw a picture, a memory, a vision of him and Asuka kissing on the night so long ago when she had proclaimed her love for him. A tear trickled from his eye. A voice in his head spoke.
"You're running away, Shinji Ikari. You're running away from her."
He screamed again and pointed the gun at Malkiah. His A.T. Field burst into life, tearing the mob away from him and burning them to ash. He pulled the trigger. He knew the gun was out of bullets, but at the time, nothing felt so right, felt so true, as pulling the trigger. A bullet burst from the empty chamber, a shining white prism of light that rent the air and the world itself as it tore towards Malkiah. He never even had time to scream as the bullet hit him, igniting him instantly in white fire. For a fraction of a second, his hood fell back, and Shinji saw something indescribable, a hideous beast of darkness that writhed in agony. Malkiah shrieked once in hate and exploded. White light filled Shinji, and he was consumed.
Asuka's A.T. Field collapsed, ant the Eva's hand punched through, moving to crush her like a bug. She closed her eyes, wanting her last thoughts to be of her Mama, and of Shinji. The hand stopped, the grasping fingers inches from her body. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Then a smile crossed her face. The Evangelion had stopped dead, the bright eyes now lifeless. She kicked the outstretched hand, and turned away, laughing in contempt.
The darkness again. Shinji was swimming in it. It pervaded his entire body, and he felt it consume him. Then the light, brightening, and his mother was before him once more.
"You have done well, Shinji," she said, smiling.
"But…mother, what did I do?"
She sighed, and turned from him, the smile fading from her face.
"You know of Instrumentality, Shinji?"
He nodded.
"What SEELE did not realize was the very nature of making humans the 'perfect vessel', so to speak. A perfect vessel must be without flaws, and humanity has many. Third Impact tried to remove the flaws, to make humans perfection, and in doing so created something akin to a god."
"Malkiah."
She nodded, wearily.
"Malkiah was formed from humanity's weaknesses, their greed and hatred and lust and cruelty. But by the very nature of his being, he divided the world into thousands of different realities, each one a result of what might have occurred after Instrumentality."
"Then how-"
"Could you kill a god? Primarily, because Malkiah was not truly a god. He was a manifestation of humanity's flaws given form by the LCL. You see, when the world was split, there was still only one true reality. You and Asuka were of that reality, and thus you could react in ways previously unattainable with Malkiah, or his pet, the Evangelion. That is why you could summon an A.T. Field."
"Then how was I able to shoot him?"
"I do not know."
He stared at her.
"Maybe it was destiny, Shinji. Maybe what you did was of such a cosmic importance that the heavens themselves molded themselves to fit your needs. But I do not know what happened, not truly.
Shinji shook his head.
"I…I don't understand…"
"You don't have to. Just know that you have completed your task, be it right or wrong."
"What do you mean?"
"When Malkiah died, humanity was able to return to Earth, but only because it was no longer flawless, no longer without faults, and thus, each human was unique once more. Now, truly, A.T. Fields can push us apart once more."
Shinji's eyes widened in shock.
"I remember Malkiah saying that 'she wouldn't love me anymore.' Was he talking about Asuka?"
Yui put her hand on his shoulder.
"He was, Shinji. Asuka is back to the way she was before. You are not changed merely because at the time of his death, you were dead as well."
A tear trickled down Shinji's cheek.
"So…"
"That is not for me to know. You must find out on your own."
He nodded, tears spilling freely now. She brushed them away, gently.
"She had not forgotten, Shinji. You must not give up. She is the way she was before, but she still loves you. Now, Shinji…it is time for you to return."
He lowered his head. She gently brought one hand across his cheek, caressing it.
"Goodbye, Shinji. I will not be seeing you again."
Then the world faded into nothingness.
Shinji woke up. He was laying on the green hillside on which he had seen the city so many times. Before him was the shattered ruins of Tokyo-3. Beside him, sobbing on a bench, was Asuka. Unsteadily, he got to his feet. Upon seeing Asuka, he began to run, tears falling from his eyes. She saw him coming and got to her feet, wiping away her tears.
"Asuka!" he cried, and hugged her. He was rocked a second later as she slapped him hard across the face.
"Baka Hentai!" she screamed. "Don't try to touch me!"
He stood there for a moment, dazed, then grabbed her again in a hug. She struggled to get free, screaming obscenities at him.
"Let me go, you perverted bastard!"
"No, Asuka. Don't you remember anything?"
"Yes, and I regret it!"
He reacted as if struck.
"You regret it?"
She smirked, pressing her victory.
"Every minute of it."
He smiled crookedly.
"Even this?"
Then he kissed her on the lips. For a second, she moved to shove him away, then, slowly, she gave in to this kiss. He pulled away, his face worried. It hurt Asuka to see the look on his face.
"I…love you, Asuka. Please don't tell me you regret that."
She lowered her head, her face clouded in indecision and doubt. She could remember…could remember that he had made her happy, once. Could she be happy again?
"Asuka…you don't have to go back to the way you were."
She looked up at him, her face torn. Tears spilled from her eyes.
"You're…wrong…"
Then she ran.
To be concluded…
Only one book left, the Epilogue, One More Final: I Love You! Now, I'm not completely satisfied with this book, so I would really appreciate your thoughts on what I can change to make it better. Please! If you suggest it, I will probably do it. Unless of course, I get colorful suggestions like: More pussy! or: Go kill yourself, you stupid piece of shit! Those, I'm gonna ignore, but any good suggestions I will probably take. Anyway, if you like this, then please tell me.
No essay. I'd like to keep what few fans I've got. Anyway, I can't think of anything. If you e-mail me suggestions I may use them.
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