Ah! My Lumbago!
(Never eat too many Twinkies)
'Explaining the Birds and the Applebee's'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
"Hi! Welcome to Applebee's Neighborhood Grill and Bar." "BAR?" Gary said. "Yeah." The hostess said. "How many?" "Uh." Professor Oak turned around and counted. "8." "Right this way." The hostess said and grabbed the menus. "Hey." Gary said. "I thought this was a non-smoking restaurant." Gary said. "Yes, sir. It is." The hostess said. "Well, you ought to take down that 'no smoking' sign because you're smokin'!!!!!!" Gary said. The hostess whirled around and took them to their table. "I thought you had a girlfriend." Professor Oak said. "I still like to look." Gary shrugged. When their orders came, Tracy became fascinated by his pickle slices. "Whoa. Have you ever noticed that pickle seeds look like sperm?" "Tracy!" Professor Oak and Delia said. "Isn't that right Brock?" Tracy nudged Brock. "Yeah. Right." Brock said. "What?" Ash said. "Oooooooooh!" Delia began to cry, attracting some attention in the restaurant. "My baby is growing up!!!" She cried. "Who wants to do the honors?" "The honors of what?" Ash asked. "Explaining the birds and the bees." Delia sobbed into her napkin. Everyone at the table was quiet. "Uh, Mom. I kinda already know about that. Brock talks non-stop about it." Ash said. Delia cried harder. "It's okay Mrs. Ketchum." Tracy said. "I could give Ash an example. And Brock could assist me." "I don't think that would be a good idea." Professor Oak said quickly. "I could help." Misty said, touching Ash's leg. He went red. "Dude!!!!!! Only you would go out with a girl with a ghetto jabooty like that!" Gary said. "Hey! Don't talk about Misty that way!" Ash said.
Late at night, Ash and his friends - minus Brock because he was staying with Tracy for a while- got back to their cabin. "Hey! The door is open!!!" Misty said. "Be quiet! We might be able to catch the burglar!" Bobby said. They crept silently towards the cabin. "Freeze!" Ash yelled and flipped on the light. "NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!" Ash yelled. Pikachu and Ash's other Pokemon had gotten out of their Pokeballs and were doing the dirty, along with some wild Pokemon from around the Lake of Rage and were joining in the fun. "OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ash yelled. The wild Pokemon fled the cabin. One entire side of the room was filled with eggs. "Pikachu! You bastard!" Ash yelled in his fury. Pikachu then powered up and shocked Ash. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow." He said, charred bits falling from his hair. The rest of Ash's Pokemon returned to their Poke balls before they could be yelled at too. "Now what?" Ash moaned. "Does this mean that we have to go to the Poke Mart in Mahogany Town and buy Poke balls so we can keep the baby pokemon in them, and then get Kurt to send us more Technicolor Pokeballs?" "I can't think of anything else." Bobby said. Ash moaned and walked over to the couch. "No Ash!" Misty said. "You'll sit on the.. The.. I don't know what kind of Pokemon egg it is, but you'll sit on it and break it." Ash then sat on the floor by the phone. Later, they spent a lot of money on the Pokeballs and Kurt seemed really mad that he had to send Ash MORE Technicolor Pokeballs.
Back in Pallet Town, all the Pokemon eggs had hatched. Tracy hadn't done a good job giving the correct eggs to the correct Pokemon mothers, because there was an Oddish in the Rock Pokemon Area. So now some Onix thinks it's her son. And a Pidgey ended up in the Ground Pokemon Area so now it has a Sandslash for a mom. "Oops." Tracy said, as Professor Oak glared at him. He had bandages all over him, because he tried to take the Pidgey away from the Sandslash and give it to its real mother. There were other incidents like this. There was a Rapidash with a Tauros for a baby, a Raichu with a Growlithe, and the biggest case of all, was a Nidoqueen with a Vulpix, a Bulbasaur, and a Shelder for kids. "Tracy.." Professor Oak said in a menacing voice. "Well would you look at that!" Tracy said sarcastically. "An Onix had an Oddish! Heh heh!!" Tracy ran off.
Back at Lake of Rage, Ash was in a rage. He had to sleep on the couch because Brock insisted on incubating more of the eggs in the bed that would be his. He woke up when Misty started kissing him. "Oh yeah. Misty!!!" Ash said. He opened his eyes. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed. A baby Lickitung was licking his face. "Yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ash said. "I guess I forgot that there are wild Lickitung around here. "Licki!" The Pokemon said and jumped up on him and started nuzzling his face. "Ew! That is WRONG!" Ash said. Misty came out into the main room with a bunch of Bellsprout's in her arms. "I think someone likes you!" Misty said, seeing Ash holding the Pokemon in front of him like a bomb. "It started licking my face!" Ash whined. "At least it didn't start licking lower." Misty said. Ash went red. She set the Bellsprout's on the floor. "Now, which one do I want.." She said. "What? You're keeping one?" Ash said. "Well, we can't keep all of them. We're going to give them to trainers. But I want a grass type Pokemon so I can train my water Pokemon to be strong against them." "Then I want a Pokemon too." Ash said. "Brock got dibs on a Vulpix. Bobby's keeping a Mareep. So you can have either a Bellsprout, a Poliwag, or a Lickitung." Misty said, picking out the most cutest Bellsprout and putting it in a Pokeball. "I already have enough water and grass Pokemon." Ash said. "Licki! Licki! Licki! Licki!" The Lickitung said, wiggling out of Ash's grasp. It began to jump excitedly on Ash's groin. "Ooooooooooooow!" Ash said, clutching between his legs, sending the Pokemon toppling off the couch. The Lickitung began to cry. "No! No! Don't cry!" Ash said, quickly picking up the Pokemon. It stopped crying. "Okay fine. I'll keep you." Ash said. The Lickitung immediately hugged something personal of Ash's. "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Let go of that 'thing'!!!!!!!" Ash said. "I think it's a girl." Misty said. "How did you ever guess?" Ash said sarcastically. "Hey, if it was me---" Misty broke off as Brock entered the room. "Misty, I hope you don't mind. I borrowed some of your hair ribbons and fancied up my new Vulpix." Brock said, holding out his Vulpix. "Vul!" went the Vulpix. "Okay." Misty said, thinking that blue wasn't the Vulpix's color. Bobby came out of the room. "I got most of the Pokemon in the Pokeballs." Bobby said. Misty went in the kitchen and got the other 2 Bellsprout's which had made their way into the sink. "Here you go. That's the last of them." "Hey Buddy, can you get me a Pokeball so my Lickitung will stop hugging my balls?" Ash said, pain in his voice. "Okay." Bobby hurried and got Ash a Pokeball. "Now where should we go to help give these Pokemon a home?" "How about we go back into Mahogany town?" Brock suggested. So they went and set up a booth.
"Look!" James said. "It's the twerps!" "Must.. Have. Sex!" Meowth said, straining against the cage Jessie was holding. "No more for you!" Jessie said. "I wonder what they're doing?" A couple of kids were talking to them.
"Wow! Pichu's!!! Really?" One kid was saying. "Yeah. We had a little accident last night." Ash said. "How so?" asked another kid. "My Pikachu got friendly with another Pokemon." "Oh. Okay. How much?" The kid asked, holding the Pokeball. "I don't know. We haven't thought of a price." Bobby said. "Hey, is this a hoax?" "No! You can check!" So the kid opened the Pokeball. "Pichu!" cried the thing. "Okay. Sorry." The kid said. He put the Pokemon back in it's ball. "That'll be 100 yen. That's the price of a Pokeball." Brock said. "Fair enough." The kid paid up and walked away with his new Pokemon.
"What? They're giving away Pokemon?" Jessie said. "Must.. Do. The dirty.." Meowth said, drooling and clutching himself. "Hey! This is a good way to get to the top of Boss's list of favorites!!!" James said. "I'll dress up in many disguises and buy some Pokemon!" "Do we have enough money?" Jessie asked. "Hey. I have some." James said. "How? We're always just about broke." "Uh. I went to a bar and did a stripe tease." James admitted. "Oh." Jessie said edging away from James. James launched into his plan. "Hello there children!" he said dressed like a grandma. "Are you selling Pokemon? My dear granddaughter is interested some." "Hello Ma'am." Misty said. "We have Bellsprouts, Vulpix's, Pichu's, Mareep's, and Lickitung's." "I'll have 2 of each. I can give them to the poor children at the orphanage." "Okay ma'am." James paid them and hurried away. He came back 3 more times as a fancy lady, an attempted FBI agent, and a Wal-Mart employee.
"Ha ha ha ha!" James said, running back to Jessie and stripping off his blue vest with the yellow smiley face on it. "Let's go to the boss!" Jessie said. "Yay! We'll get a promotion!" James said. "Isn't that great Meowth?" But Meowth was too busy doing something not nice to relieve his missed chance of doing the dirty with Bobby's Vulpix.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'Happy Hump-Day to you.'
'Explaining the Birds and the Applebee's'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
"Hi! Welcome to Applebee's Neighborhood Grill and Bar." "BAR?" Gary said. "Yeah." The hostess said. "How many?" "Uh." Professor Oak turned around and counted. "8." "Right this way." The hostess said and grabbed the menus. "Hey." Gary said. "I thought this was a non-smoking restaurant." Gary said. "Yes, sir. It is." The hostess said. "Well, you ought to take down that 'no smoking' sign because you're smokin'!!!!!!" Gary said. The hostess whirled around and took them to their table. "I thought you had a girlfriend." Professor Oak said. "I still like to look." Gary shrugged. When their orders came, Tracy became fascinated by his pickle slices. "Whoa. Have you ever noticed that pickle seeds look like sperm?" "Tracy!" Professor Oak and Delia said. "Isn't that right Brock?" Tracy nudged Brock. "Yeah. Right." Brock said. "What?" Ash said. "Oooooooooh!" Delia began to cry, attracting some attention in the restaurant. "My baby is growing up!!!" She cried. "Who wants to do the honors?" "The honors of what?" Ash asked. "Explaining the birds and the bees." Delia sobbed into her napkin. Everyone at the table was quiet. "Uh, Mom. I kinda already know about that. Brock talks non-stop about it." Ash said. Delia cried harder. "It's okay Mrs. Ketchum." Tracy said. "I could give Ash an example. And Brock could assist me." "I don't think that would be a good idea." Professor Oak said quickly. "I could help." Misty said, touching Ash's leg. He went red. "Dude!!!!!! Only you would go out with a girl with a ghetto jabooty like that!" Gary said. "Hey! Don't talk about Misty that way!" Ash said.
Late at night, Ash and his friends - minus Brock because he was staying with Tracy for a while- got back to their cabin. "Hey! The door is open!!!" Misty said. "Be quiet! We might be able to catch the burglar!" Bobby said. They crept silently towards the cabin. "Freeze!" Ash yelled and flipped on the light. "NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!" Ash yelled. Pikachu and Ash's other Pokemon had gotten out of their Pokeballs and were doing the dirty, along with some wild Pokemon from around the Lake of Rage and were joining in the fun. "OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ash yelled. The wild Pokemon fled the cabin. One entire side of the room was filled with eggs. "Pikachu! You bastard!" Ash yelled in his fury. Pikachu then powered up and shocked Ash. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow." He said, charred bits falling from his hair. The rest of Ash's Pokemon returned to their Poke balls before they could be yelled at too. "Now what?" Ash moaned. "Does this mean that we have to go to the Poke Mart in Mahogany Town and buy Poke balls so we can keep the baby pokemon in them, and then get Kurt to send us more Technicolor Pokeballs?" "I can't think of anything else." Bobby said. Ash moaned and walked over to the couch. "No Ash!" Misty said. "You'll sit on the.. The.. I don't know what kind of Pokemon egg it is, but you'll sit on it and break it." Ash then sat on the floor by the phone. Later, they spent a lot of money on the Pokeballs and Kurt seemed really mad that he had to send Ash MORE Technicolor Pokeballs.
Back in Pallet Town, all the Pokemon eggs had hatched. Tracy hadn't done a good job giving the correct eggs to the correct Pokemon mothers, because there was an Oddish in the Rock Pokemon Area. So now some Onix thinks it's her son. And a Pidgey ended up in the Ground Pokemon Area so now it has a Sandslash for a mom. "Oops." Tracy said, as Professor Oak glared at him. He had bandages all over him, because he tried to take the Pidgey away from the Sandslash and give it to its real mother. There were other incidents like this. There was a Rapidash with a Tauros for a baby, a Raichu with a Growlithe, and the biggest case of all, was a Nidoqueen with a Vulpix, a Bulbasaur, and a Shelder for kids. "Tracy.." Professor Oak said in a menacing voice. "Well would you look at that!" Tracy said sarcastically. "An Onix had an Oddish! Heh heh!!" Tracy ran off.
Back at Lake of Rage, Ash was in a rage. He had to sleep on the couch because Brock insisted on incubating more of the eggs in the bed that would be his. He woke up when Misty started kissing him. "Oh yeah. Misty!!!" Ash said. He opened his eyes. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed. A baby Lickitung was licking his face. "Yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ash said. "I guess I forgot that there are wild Lickitung around here. "Licki!" The Pokemon said and jumped up on him and started nuzzling his face. "Ew! That is WRONG!" Ash said. Misty came out into the main room with a bunch of Bellsprout's in her arms. "I think someone likes you!" Misty said, seeing Ash holding the Pokemon in front of him like a bomb. "It started licking my face!" Ash whined. "At least it didn't start licking lower." Misty said. Ash went red. She set the Bellsprout's on the floor. "Now, which one do I want.." She said. "What? You're keeping one?" Ash said. "Well, we can't keep all of them. We're going to give them to trainers. But I want a grass type Pokemon so I can train my water Pokemon to be strong against them." "Then I want a Pokemon too." Ash said. "Brock got dibs on a Vulpix. Bobby's keeping a Mareep. So you can have either a Bellsprout, a Poliwag, or a Lickitung." Misty said, picking out the most cutest Bellsprout and putting it in a Pokeball. "I already have enough water and grass Pokemon." Ash said. "Licki! Licki! Licki! Licki!" The Lickitung said, wiggling out of Ash's grasp. It began to jump excitedly on Ash's groin. "Ooooooooooooow!" Ash said, clutching between his legs, sending the Pokemon toppling off the couch. The Lickitung began to cry. "No! No! Don't cry!" Ash said, quickly picking up the Pokemon. It stopped crying. "Okay fine. I'll keep you." Ash said. The Lickitung immediately hugged something personal of Ash's. "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Let go of that 'thing'!!!!!!!" Ash said. "I think it's a girl." Misty said. "How did you ever guess?" Ash said sarcastically. "Hey, if it was me---" Misty broke off as Brock entered the room. "Misty, I hope you don't mind. I borrowed some of your hair ribbons and fancied up my new Vulpix." Brock said, holding out his Vulpix. "Vul!" went the Vulpix. "Okay." Misty said, thinking that blue wasn't the Vulpix's color. Bobby came out of the room. "I got most of the Pokemon in the Pokeballs." Bobby said. Misty went in the kitchen and got the other 2 Bellsprout's which had made their way into the sink. "Here you go. That's the last of them." "Hey Buddy, can you get me a Pokeball so my Lickitung will stop hugging my balls?" Ash said, pain in his voice. "Okay." Bobby hurried and got Ash a Pokeball. "Now where should we go to help give these Pokemon a home?" "How about we go back into Mahogany town?" Brock suggested. So they went and set up a booth.
"Look!" James said. "It's the twerps!" "Must.. Have. Sex!" Meowth said, straining against the cage Jessie was holding. "No more for you!" Jessie said. "I wonder what they're doing?" A couple of kids were talking to them.
"Wow! Pichu's!!! Really?" One kid was saying. "Yeah. We had a little accident last night." Ash said. "How so?" asked another kid. "My Pikachu got friendly with another Pokemon." "Oh. Okay. How much?" The kid asked, holding the Pokeball. "I don't know. We haven't thought of a price." Bobby said. "Hey, is this a hoax?" "No! You can check!" So the kid opened the Pokeball. "Pichu!" cried the thing. "Okay. Sorry." The kid said. He put the Pokemon back in it's ball. "That'll be 100 yen. That's the price of a Pokeball." Brock said. "Fair enough." The kid paid up and walked away with his new Pokemon.
"What? They're giving away Pokemon?" Jessie said. "Must.. Do. The dirty.." Meowth said, drooling and clutching himself. "Hey! This is a good way to get to the top of Boss's list of favorites!!!" James said. "I'll dress up in many disguises and buy some Pokemon!" "Do we have enough money?" Jessie asked. "Hey. I have some." James said. "How? We're always just about broke." "Uh. I went to a bar and did a stripe tease." James admitted. "Oh." Jessie said edging away from James. James launched into his plan. "Hello there children!" he said dressed like a grandma. "Are you selling Pokemon? My dear granddaughter is interested some." "Hello Ma'am." Misty said. "We have Bellsprouts, Vulpix's, Pichu's, Mareep's, and Lickitung's." "I'll have 2 of each. I can give them to the poor children at the orphanage." "Okay ma'am." James paid them and hurried away. He came back 3 more times as a fancy lady, an attempted FBI agent, and a Wal-Mart employee.
"Ha ha ha ha!" James said, running back to Jessie and stripping off his blue vest with the yellow smiley face on it. "Let's go to the boss!" Jessie said. "Yay! We'll get a promotion!" James said. "Isn't that great Meowth?" But Meowth was too busy doing something not nice to relieve his missed chance of doing the dirty with Bobby's Vulpix.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'Happy Hump-Day to you.'