Ah! My Lumbago!
(Never eat too many Twinkies)
'The one eyed, one horned, flying purple gassy thingy'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
"Like, oh my gosh!!! This perfume smells like, sooooooooo good!" Tracy said. Ashley and Stacy rushed over to Tracy and bombarded themselves with perfume.
"You're like, sooooooooo right." Stacy said. They all held hands and walked down to 'Victoria's Secret'. "Ashley, do you think that this thong will fit?" Stacy asked, holding up a G string. "Like, it's SO you." Ashley said. "I SO agree." The giggled and ran to the counter and paid for their new thongs.
Delia followed them around the mall. The boys took pictures in the mall photo booth. Delia had to hold their clothes. Lots of people gave her weird looks, but she just smiled. "Now, we can get our hair and nails done." Tracy said. While the boys were pampered by the male hair stylist, Delia bought some new baby clothes. "Now." Stacy giggled. "We can.. Go play!!!!!!!" The boys squealed and ran to the van, holding hands.
We now turn back to Ash and his friends. "Hey!!!!! You forgot to mention that another whole month has gone by!" Ash yells at the author. "Yeah! This story has to get moving some time!!!" Misty agreed.
*Ahem* We now join Ash and his friends, who have reached Blackthorn city over time.
"That's better." Brock says. "That stupid Gym Leader lady won't give me my badge!" Ash yelled, turning off his Game Boy and throwing it on his bed at the Pokemon center. "Maybe the Gym Leader will be different in real life." Bobby said. "Yeah, who knows? You can strategize more easily in real life than in games." Nicki pointed out. "I won't go to the Blackthorn City Gym until I beat her in the game!!!!!" Ash screamed. "No, Ash. We've been stuck in this town for more than week." Misty said, pulling Ash off the floor. "Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!" Ash wailed, clawing the floor. "I'll *whisper whisper whisper*" Misty whispered in his ear. "Really? Okay!!!!" Ash said. He zoomed out of the Pokemon center.
Ash flung open the doors of the Blackthorn City Gym, where Clair the leader and Lance the Pokemon League Champion were making out. "I want to challenge the Gym Leader!!!!" Ash yelled, pointing his finger at Clair. "Not now kid, can't you see I'm busy?" Clair said. "Oh yeah, Lance!!!!!" Clair said. "Give us some privacy." Lance said, glaring at Ash. "But I want a badge..." Ash pouted. "I want to join in!!!!!!" Brock said. "Get your own Gym Leader!!!!" Lance snapped. "Okay!!!! See you guys! I'm going to Celadon City." Brock raced out of the gym. "Oh great." Bobby said. "Now what?" "WE can always make out.." Nicki suggested. Bobby and Nicki raced out of the gym, laughing. "Misty.." Ash said, in a sly voice. "Fine." Misty said. They too left the gym. Suddenly, Lance and Clair stopped making out. "Phew!!! What a relief that they left!!!!" Lance said. He whipped off his cape. And he was really James, from Team Rocket!!!! Clair ripped off her cape and became Jessie from Team Rocket. "That was a smart idea, tying up the Gym Leader and pretending to be her and her little Elite Sex Toy." James said. "I liked the making out part best." Jessie said. James looked at Jessie. They began making out again, this time, not for pretend. Jessie and James pokemon came out of their Pokeballs and gave their owners weird looks. "Weezing!!!!" said James' Weezing. "Wait!!!! Where are you going?" Meowth said to the purple gassy thing. "Weezing!!!!!!" It said again and crashed through the windows of the gym.
Back in Viridian City, Giovanni was smoking on his bong again, singing between smokes. "Puff. the magic Dragonite. Lives by the sea.. He likes to smoke his weed.. Just like you and me..." Just then, Weezing broke into his office. "Ah! Weezing!!!!! I'm glad you remembered my drugs." Weezing had a bag clamped in it's teeth. "Good, my little drug dealing Pokemon. Now, go back to James, before anybody suspects something." Giovanni ripped open the bag and poured the contents into his bong. "Puff... the magic Dragonite.. Lives by the sea.. He likes to smoke his weed.. Just like you and me..."
High off the bong fumes, Weezing stumbled along his way back to Blackthorn City. "Look! It's a bird!" said a trainer. "It's a plane!!!" said another. "It's a one eyed, one horned, flying purple gassy thing!!!" yelled a man fishing. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" people screamed. Weezing was losing altitude and began bouncing off of people's heads. 20 minutes and a thousand bruises later, Weezing made his way back to Blackthorn city, where Jessie and James were just finishing up. "Should we untie the Gym Leader now?" Jessie asked, pulling up her skirt. "I guess so. Then we can try to steal Pikachu again." James said. Victrebell untied the Gym Leader and then hopped away after Jessie and James.
********************
Let's skip another month!!!!!!!! And a half!!!!!!!!! Ash is finally coming home to Pallet town with all his friends so they can train for the Johto League. "Ash is coming home! Ash is coming home!!!!" Delia sang. She kissed Professor Oak. She hugged Gary and Tracy. Tracy screamed and ran away crying. "Do I look too fat?" Delia suddenly asked, looking down at her belly with Professor Oak's child growing inside. "No. He'll never notice." Professor Oak said sarcastically. "Good. Now hand me those Twinkies." "It's the last box." Professor Oak told her. "Go out and buy more. I need my Twinkies!!!!! And get some pickles and vanilla ice cream!!!!!" "Women and their cravings.." Professor Oak muttered. Mimie had finished cleaning the house. "Um. Darling." Professor Oak said, grabbing the car keys. "Where are Ash and his friends going to stay? We had to change the guest room into the baby's room, and Tracy already sleeps on the couch." "They can stay next door." Delia said, sitting on the couch and picking up her knitting needles. "Remember Gramps, May is gonna be chillin' in da frat house, yo." Gary said. "Of course. She can stay next door, too." Delia said. "But there aren't enough rooms at your old house!" replied Professor Oak. "Don't be silly, Samuel." Delia said, waving her knitting sticks violently in the air. Ash and Misty and Bobby and Nicki can stay in Ash's room. And Brock and May can stay in my room. Simple enough." "Don't you think.. Well.. Wouldn't they..." "They better not!" Delia said. "Now get me my TWINKIES!!!!!!" screamed Delia. Professor Oak cringed. "Women and their mood swings." He muttered again. He got in the van.
Professor Oak wasn't back yet when Ash and his friends arrived. "Ash!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tracy screamed. He hugged Ash and attempted to kiss him. "Ew!!!!!!!!! Back off!!!!!!!" Ash screamed, kneeing Tracy in the groin. "Ow!!!!! Ash!!!!! How could you?" Tracy moaned, clutching between his thighs. "You don't kiss guys who aren't gay like you." Ash said, holding Misty's hand. "Brock?" Tracy asked, tears in his eyes. "Hey. You're the one that jumped me. The last time I stayed over was only to let you know that I didn't like you like that." Brock said, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring at the ground with his glued shut eyes. Tracy's bottom lip trembled. "That's it!!!!! I'm going to kill myself!!!!!! Then I'm going to kill you guys!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" Tracy wailed. "No!!!! Don't do that!!!!!!! Here, Jynx will give you a sex show." Nicki said, opening her Pokeball. "Really?" Tracy asked. "Yeah, as long as you don't kill yourself." "I won't." Tracy said, wiping his eyes. He and the Jynx went into the backyard. "I guess we have to be careful about what we say around him." Bobby said. A red convertible pulled up behind them. "That car is familiar." Ash said. "It's missing something.." Misty said. "Hellooooooooo Dolly!!!!!!!!!!" Brock said, running around to the driver side of the car. "Hi! I'm Brock and you're a fine looking woman." He said, opening the car door for the girl in the car. "Thanks. Is Gary here?" "Yo, yo, yo!!!! It's my home girlie girl and sis May!!!!! What up?" Gary said, pummeling down the stairs leading up to Professor Oak's house. "Hey, Gary." May said. "You're his sister?" Ash said. "I know what's missing! The cheerleaders!!!!!" Misty said. "This was always the car that Gary was in whenever we met him." "Right oh, ye ol' girl with da ghetto jabootie." "I want to touch YOUR jabootie." Brock said, hands in a groping position. "Later." May said, waving a hand in Brock's face. "Really? Whoo hoo!!!! I'm gonna get some!!!!!!" "Yo, Ash, my man. Your mommy-o wants to chill with you and catch up on ol' times." Gary said. So Ash, Misty, Bobby, Nicki, Brock, May, and Gary made their way into Professor Oak's house. Everyone except May, Gary, Nicki, and Bobby's mouth dropped open. "Mom!!!! You're huge!!!!!!!!" Ash said. "Why thank you honey." Delia said. "What.." Ash started. "Oh don't worry. I just ate too many Twinkies. Now where is your father and my Twinkies?" Delia said to her belly. "Uh. Mom? Why are you talking to your stomach?" "My stomach? Ha ha ha ha." Delia said. "Ash, come over here." Delia said. Ash sat down on the couch next to her. "I want you to say 'hi' to your new brother or sister." She said, patting her tummy. Ash's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell off the couch.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'The Phone Call from the 'Maury' Show'
'The one eyed, one horned, flying purple gassy thingy'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
"Like, oh my gosh!!! This perfume smells like, sooooooooo good!" Tracy said. Ashley and Stacy rushed over to Tracy and bombarded themselves with perfume.
"You're like, sooooooooo right." Stacy said. They all held hands and walked down to 'Victoria's Secret'. "Ashley, do you think that this thong will fit?" Stacy asked, holding up a G string. "Like, it's SO you." Ashley said. "I SO agree." The giggled and ran to the counter and paid for their new thongs.
Delia followed them around the mall. The boys took pictures in the mall photo booth. Delia had to hold their clothes. Lots of people gave her weird looks, but she just smiled. "Now, we can get our hair and nails done." Tracy said. While the boys were pampered by the male hair stylist, Delia bought some new baby clothes. "Now." Stacy giggled. "We can.. Go play!!!!!!!" The boys squealed and ran to the van, holding hands.
We now turn back to Ash and his friends. "Hey!!!!! You forgot to mention that another whole month has gone by!" Ash yells at the author. "Yeah! This story has to get moving some time!!!" Misty agreed.
*Ahem* We now join Ash and his friends, who have reached Blackthorn city over time.
"That's better." Brock says. "That stupid Gym Leader lady won't give me my badge!" Ash yelled, turning off his Game Boy and throwing it on his bed at the Pokemon center. "Maybe the Gym Leader will be different in real life." Bobby said. "Yeah, who knows? You can strategize more easily in real life than in games." Nicki pointed out. "I won't go to the Blackthorn City Gym until I beat her in the game!!!!!" Ash screamed. "No, Ash. We've been stuck in this town for more than week." Misty said, pulling Ash off the floor. "Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!" Ash wailed, clawing the floor. "I'll *whisper whisper whisper*" Misty whispered in his ear. "Really? Okay!!!!" Ash said. He zoomed out of the Pokemon center.
Ash flung open the doors of the Blackthorn City Gym, where Clair the leader and Lance the Pokemon League Champion were making out. "I want to challenge the Gym Leader!!!!" Ash yelled, pointing his finger at Clair. "Not now kid, can't you see I'm busy?" Clair said. "Oh yeah, Lance!!!!!" Clair said. "Give us some privacy." Lance said, glaring at Ash. "But I want a badge..." Ash pouted. "I want to join in!!!!!!" Brock said. "Get your own Gym Leader!!!!" Lance snapped. "Okay!!!! See you guys! I'm going to Celadon City." Brock raced out of the gym. "Oh great." Bobby said. "Now what?" "WE can always make out.." Nicki suggested. Bobby and Nicki raced out of the gym, laughing. "Misty.." Ash said, in a sly voice. "Fine." Misty said. They too left the gym. Suddenly, Lance and Clair stopped making out. "Phew!!! What a relief that they left!!!!" Lance said. He whipped off his cape. And he was really James, from Team Rocket!!!! Clair ripped off her cape and became Jessie from Team Rocket. "That was a smart idea, tying up the Gym Leader and pretending to be her and her little Elite Sex Toy." James said. "I liked the making out part best." Jessie said. James looked at Jessie. They began making out again, this time, not for pretend. Jessie and James pokemon came out of their Pokeballs and gave their owners weird looks. "Weezing!!!!" said James' Weezing. "Wait!!!! Where are you going?" Meowth said to the purple gassy thing. "Weezing!!!!!!" It said again and crashed through the windows of the gym.
Back in Viridian City, Giovanni was smoking on his bong again, singing between smokes. "Puff. the magic Dragonite. Lives by the sea.. He likes to smoke his weed.. Just like you and me..." Just then, Weezing broke into his office. "Ah! Weezing!!!!! I'm glad you remembered my drugs." Weezing had a bag clamped in it's teeth. "Good, my little drug dealing Pokemon. Now, go back to James, before anybody suspects something." Giovanni ripped open the bag and poured the contents into his bong. "Puff... the magic Dragonite.. Lives by the sea.. He likes to smoke his weed.. Just like you and me..."
High off the bong fumes, Weezing stumbled along his way back to Blackthorn City. "Look! It's a bird!" said a trainer. "It's a plane!!!" said another. "It's a one eyed, one horned, flying purple gassy thing!!!" yelled a man fishing. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" people screamed. Weezing was losing altitude and began bouncing off of people's heads. 20 minutes and a thousand bruises later, Weezing made his way back to Blackthorn city, where Jessie and James were just finishing up. "Should we untie the Gym Leader now?" Jessie asked, pulling up her skirt. "I guess so. Then we can try to steal Pikachu again." James said. Victrebell untied the Gym Leader and then hopped away after Jessie and James.
********************
Let's skip another month!!!!!!!! And a half!!!!!!!!! Ash is finally coming home to Pallet town with all his friends so they can train for the Johto League. "Ash is coming home! Ash is coming home!!!!" Delia sang. She kissed Professor Oak. She hugged Gary and Tracy. Tracy screamed and ran away crying. "Do I look too fat?" Delia suddenly asked, looking down at her belly with Professor Oak's child growing inside. "No. He'll never notice." Professor Oak said sarcastically. "Good. Now hand me those Twinkies." "It's the last box." Professor Oak told her. "Go out and buy more. I need my Twinkies!!!!! And get some pickles and vanilla ice cream!!!!!" "Women and their cravings.." Professor Oak muttered. Mimie had finished cleaning the house. "Um. Darling." Professor Oak said, grabbing the car keys. "Where are Ash and his friends going to stay? We had to change the guest room into the baby's room, and Tracy already sleeps on the couch." "They can stay next door." Delia said, sitting on the couch and picking up her knitting needles. "Remember Gramps, May is gonna be chillin' in da frat house, yo." Gary said. "Of course. She can stay next door, too." Delia said. "But there aren't enough rooms at your old house!" replied Professor Oak. "Don't be silly, Samuel." Delia said, waving her knitting sticks violently in the air. Ash and Misty and Bobby and Nicki can stay in Ash's room. And Brock and May can stay in my room. Simple enough." "Don't you think.. Well.. Wouldn't they..." "They better not!" Delia said. "Now get me my TWINKIES!!!!!!" screamed Delia. Professor Oak cringed. "Women and their mood swings." He muttered again. He got in the van.
Professor Oak wasn't back yet when Ash and his friends arrived. "Ash!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tracy screamed. He hugged Ash and attempted to kiss him. "Ew!!!!!!!!! Back off!!!!!!!" Ash screamed, kneeing Tracy in the groin. "Ow!!!!! Ash!!!!! How could you?" Tracy moaned, clutching between his thighs. "You don't kiss guys who aren't gay like you." Ash said, holding Misty's hand. "Brock?" Tracy asked, tears in his eyes. "Hey. You're the one that jumped me. The last time I stayed over was only to let you know that I didn't like you like that." Brock said, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring at the ground with his glued shut eyes. Tracy's bottom lip trembled. "That's it!!!!! I'm going to kill myself!!!!!! Then I'm going to kill you guys!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" Tracy wailed. "No!!!! Don't do that!!!!!!! Here, Jynx will give you a sex show." Nicki said, opening her Pokeball. "Really?" Tracy asked. "Yeah, as long as you don't kill yourself." "I won't." Tracy said, wiping his eyes. He and the Jynx went into the backyard. "I guess we have to be careful about what we say around him." Bobby said. A red convertible pulled up behind them. "That car is familiar." Ash said. "It's missing something.." Misty said. "Hellooooooooo Dolly!!!!!!!!!!" Brock said, running around to the driver side of the car. "Hi! I'm Brock and you're a fine looking woman." He said, opening the car door for the girl in the car. "Thanks. Is Gary here?" "Yo, yo, yo!!!! It's my home girlie girl and sis May!!!!! What up?" Gary said, pummeling down the stairs leading up to Professor Oak's house. "Hey, Gary." May said. "You're his sister?" Ash said. "I know what's missing! The cheerleaders!!!!!" Misty said. "This was always the car that Gary was in whenever we met him." "Right oh, ye ol' girl with da ghetto jabootie." "I want to touch YOUR jabootie." Brock said, hands in a groping position. "Later." May said, waving a hand in Brock's face. "Really? Whoo hoo!!!! I'm gonna get some!!!!!!" "Yo, Ash, my man. Your mommy-o wants to chill with you and catch up on ol' times." Gary said. So Ash, Misty, Bobby, Nicki, Brock, May, and Gary made their way into Professor Oak's house. Everyone except May, Gary, Nicki, and Bobby's mouth dropped open. "Mom!!!! You're huge!!!!!!!!" Ash said. "Why thank you honey." Delia said. "What.." Ash started. "Oh don't worry. I just ate too many Twinkies. Now where is your father and my Twinkies?" Delia said to her belly. "Uh. Mom? Why are you talking to your stomach?" "My stomach? Ha ha ha ha." Delia said. "Ash, come over here." Delia said. Ash sat down on the couch next to her. "I want you to say 'hi' to your new brother or sister." She said, patting her tummy. Ash's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell off the couch.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'The Phone Call from the 'Maury' Show'