Ah! My Lumbago!
(Never eat too many Twinkies)
'The 'Maury' Show Part 2'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
"All right. We've met he Ketchum and Oak families. Now let's meet some of their friends. Let's bring out Ash's girlfriend, Misty! Misty, come on out!" Misty walked down the stairs. "Girlfriend!!!!" shrieked Mrs. Ketchum. "You never told me you had a GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!" Mrs. Ketchum hugged Ash, nearly choking him. "When are you getting married?" she asked. "Mom!!!! We're only 15!!!!!!!!" Ash whined. Misty sat down next to him. "So, Misty. You're 15?" "Yes." "How long have you known the Ketchum and Oak families?" "Ever since I've known Ash." "And what is your opinion on the Professor and Mrs. Ketchum getting married?" "I think it's wonderful." Misty said. "Good, good." Maury said. "Now, let's bring out Brock, the past Gym Leader of Pewter City." "Hey!" Misty yelled. "I was a Gym Leader in Cerulean City!!!" "Yeah. But Brock is older." Maury said, waving his hand. Misty slouched and glared at Maury. Brock came out on stage, wringing his hands. "So Brock, how old are you?" "... Uh... Uh.... 19..." Brock said. "19, eh? Just like May?" "Uh huh.." Brock stared at his feet. "Is something wrong?" Maury asked. "All right!!!!! I admit it!!!!!!! I tried pot in 7th grade!!!!!! And I thought it would be fun to glue my eyes shut with super glue in kindergarten!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" Brock sobbed into his hands. "Um.. This isn't the 'Insane People Confess Their Pasts' episode. That's next week." Maury said. "You mean.." "This is the 'Families Gone Wild' episode. We want to know your opinion on the Professor and Mrs. Ketchum getting married and having a baby?" Brock dried his face off with the back of his hand. "It's okay, I guess. Since Ash will be related to Gary and May now, that means that I can have an excuse to spy on May while she undresses for bed." Brock said, rubbing his hands together in a greedy manner. May tapped Brock on the shoulder. "I'm right here and I heard that." She said. "Oops." Brock said. "Let's take a commercial break, shall we?" Maury said as Brock and May toppled backwards off the bench, lips locked.
Announcer: Also today, on the Maury show.
Teenage Boy yelling at his Mom: You never hug me goodnight!!!! Ever since I've been a little kid, you've never hugged me!!!! You must hate me!!!!!!! I knew it!!!!!! And I starve just about everyday at school because you never make me lunches, and we can't afford an alarm clock so I never wake up early enough for school!!!!!!" The Mom: But Dear!!!! I lost my arms after a terrible car crash! The doctor had to amputate them when you were 2!!!!" *The kid continues to cry*
*Commercial ends*
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"We're back!" Maury said. "May and Brock had to be brought backstage. Sorry for the inconvenience." "Can we get on with the show?" Gary said, picking at his nails. "Sure. Now. Why don't we all have you do a group hug for good publicity?" "Now way." Gary said. "I ain't huggin' no ho's." "Ohhhhh!!!! Come here!!!" Delia said, grabbing Gary and hugging him. "Let go, woman!!!!" Gary yelled. "Awwwwww." Maury said. "Now, let's meet our next family. In this family, no male seems to put down the toilet seat, causing tragic fueds."
******************
Bobby and Nicki met up with Ash, Misty, and Brock backstage. They had watched the show from the audience. "Wow. That was cool." Bobby said. "I never knew how weird families could get." "Me neither." Nicki said. "Let's go home." Ash said.
*****************
Jessie and James were planning their next attempt to steal Pikachu. They had snuck into Pallet Town and watched the Maury show with the twerps and his friends on it, and noticed that Pikachu wasn't there. "Maybe he's inside the Professor's house!" Jessie said. "And that means there are more Pokemon to steal, too!!!" James squealed. "Then we can celebrate with a make out competition!" Jessie said. They raced to the lab. "Hello!!!!!! Anybody home?" James called. No one answered. "No one's home." He said. "Of course, you idiot!!!! They're all away on a TV show!" "Now let's find Pikachu!!!" Jessie said. They ran through the entire house but couldn't find Pikachu anywhere. Or any other Pokemon. "They must have hidden them somewhere!!!" James wailed. "Oh well. Let's go Viridian City and see if the Boss is done with our Mewtwo hump buddie." Jessie and James ran out of the house. "Wait. Where's Meowth?" Jessie said. "Meowth!!!!!!" James yelled. Meowth came out of the lab, crying. "I can't find my lovely Vulpix!!! WAAAAAAAA!" He cried. "We'll find her." Jessie said. "Come on, Jimmy. Let's start our Make Out Competition.
***************
Ash woke up every morning and went out to train with Pikachu. "Come on Pikachu! We have to win the Johto League!!!" "Pika!!!!!" Pikachu said. Ash and Pikachu practiced some fighting movements and battle tactics. Gary spied from his window. "Mu ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!" He laughed. "I think it's time to whip out my wonderous pink object again and play some pranks with some new people!!!" He hopped off his bed and stuck his hand under his bed. "Now where is it?" He said, moving his hand back and forth. Gary peeked under the bed. "Shoes. Dirty socks.. Some of Tracy's porn mags.. Girl's phone numbers.. What?????????? No Whoopee cushion???????????" Gary grabbed his hair. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he wailed. "Must.... Find.... Whoopee cushion...." Gary said, crawling towards the door.
Note: Sorry this is so short. The next chapter will be longer. Thanks for all your reviews.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'Gary Loses His Whoopee Cushion'
'The 'Maury' Show Part 2'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
"All right. We've met he Ketchum and Oak families. Now let's meet some of their friends. Let's bring out Ash's girlfriend, Misty! Misty, come on out!" Misty walked down the stairs. "Girlfriend!!!!" shrieked Mrs. Ketchum. "You never told me you had a GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!" Mrs. Ketchum hugged Ash, nearly choking him. "When are you getting married?" she asked. "Mom!!!! We're only 15!!!!!!!!" Ash whined. Misty sat down next to him. "So, Misty. You're 15?" "Yes." "How long have you known the Ketchum and Oak families?" "Ever since I've known Ash." "And what is your opinion on the Professor and Mrs. Ketchum getting married?" "I think it's wonderful." Misty said. "Good, good." Maury said. "Now, let's bring out Brock, the past Gym Leader of Pewter City." "Hey!" Misty yelled. "I was a Gym Leader in Cerulean City!!!" "Yeah. But Brock is older." Maury said, waving his hand. Misty slouched and glared at Maury. Brock came out on stage, wringing his hands. "So Brock, how old are you?" "... Uh... Uh.... 19..." Brock said. "19, eh? Just like May?" "Uh huh.." Brock stared at his feet. "Is something wrong?" Maury asked. "All right!!!!! I admit it!!!!!!! I tried pot in 7th grade!!!!!! And I thought it would be fun to glue my eyes shut with super glue in kindergarten!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" Brock sobbed into his hands. "Um.. This isn't the 'Insane People Confess Their Pasts' episode. That's next week." Maury said. "You mean.." "This is the 'Families Gone Wild' episode. We want to know your opinion on the Professor and Mrs. Ketchum getting married and having a baby?" Brock dried his face off with the back of his hand. "It's okay, I guess. Since Ash will be related to Gary and May now, that means that I can have an excuse to spy on May while she undresses for bed." Brock said, rubbing his hands together in a greedy manner. May tapped Brock on the shoulder. "I'm right here and I heard that." She said. "Oops." Brock said. "Let's take a commercial break, shall we?" Maury said as Brock and May toppled backwards off the bench, lips locked.
Announcer: Also today, on the Maury show.
Teenage Boy yelling at his Mom: You never hug me goodnight!!!! Ever since I've been a little kid, you've never hugged me!!!! You must hate me!!!!!!! I knew it!!!!!! And I starve just about everyday at school because you never make me lunches, and we can't afford an alarm clock so I never wake up early enough for school!!!!!!" The Mom: But Dear!!!! I lost my arms after a terrible car crash! The doctor had to amputate them when you were 2!!!!" *The kid continues to cry*
*Commercial ends*
****************************
"We're back!" Maury said. "May and Brock had to be brought backstage. Sorry for the inconvenience." "Can we get on with the show?" Gary said, picking at his nails. "Sure. Now. Why don't we all have you do a group hug for good publicity?" "Now way." Gary said. "I ain't huggin' no ho's." "Ohhhhh!!!! Come here!!!" Delia said, grabbing Gary and hugging him. "Let go, woman!!!!" Gary yelled. "Awwwwww." Maury said. "Now, let's meet our next family. In this family, no male seems to put down the toilet seat, causing tragic fueds."
******************
Bobby and Nicki met up with Ash, Misty, and Brock backstage. They had watched the show from the audience. "Wow. That was cool." Bobby said. "I never knew how weird families could get." "Me neither." Nicki said. "Let's go home." Ash said.
*****************
Jessie and James were planning their next attempt to steal Pikachu. They had snuck into Pallet Town and watched the Maury show with the twerps and his friends on it, and noticed that Pikachu wasn't there. "Maybe he's inside the Professor's house!" Jessie said. "And that means there are more Pokemon to steal, too!!!" James squealed. "Then we can celebrate with a make out competition!" Jessie said. They raced to the lab. "Hello!!!!!! Anybody home?" James called. No one answered. "No one's home." He said. "Of course, you idiot!!!! They're all away on a TV show!" "Now let's find Pikachu!!!" Jessie said. They ran through the entire house but couldn't find Pikachu anywhere. Or any other Pokemon. "They must have hidden them somewhere!!!" James wailed. "Oh well. Let's go Viridian City and see if the Boss is done with our Mewtwo hump buddie." Jessie and James ran out of the house. "Wait. Where's Meowth?" Jessie said. "Meowth!!!!!!" James yelled. Meowth came out of the lab, crying. "I can't find my lovely Vulpix!!! WAAAAAAAA!" He cried. "We'll find her." Jessie said. "Come on, Jimmy. Let's start our Make Out Competition.
***************
Ash woke up every morning and went out to train with Pikachu. "Come on Pikachu! We have to win the Johto League!!!" "Pika!!!!!" Pikachu said. Ash and Pikachu practiced some fighting movements and battle tactics. Gary spied from his window. "Mu ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!" He laughed. "I think it's time to whip out my wonderous pink object again and play some pranks with some new people!!!" He hopped off his bed and stuck his hand under his bed. "Now where is it?" He said, moving his hand back and forth. Gary peeked under the bed. "Shoes. Dirty socks.. Some of Tracy's porn mags.. Girl's phone numbers.. What?????????? No Whoopee cushion???????????" Gary grabbed his hair. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he wailed. "Must.... Find.... Whoopee cushion...." Gary said, crawling towards the door.
Note: Sorry this is so short. The next chapter will be longer. Thanks for all your reviews.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'Gary Loses His Whoopee Cushion'