Ah! My Lumbago!
(Never eat too many Twinkies)
'Gary Loses His Whoopee Cushion'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
"I AM INSANE WITH ANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gary yelled, running through the house.
"I AM LOSING MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed, tearing through the kitchen.
"IT'S TIME FOR AN ASS WHOOPIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*Gary's dialogue curtsey of 'Signs'. The movie with Mel Gibson and the crop circles. I screamed 5 times and was the only person in the theater who screamed, too.*
"Gary! What's the matter?" Ash asked. "I CAN'T FIND MY WHOOPEE CUSHION!!!!!!!!!" Gary said, throwing open drawers and frantically searching their contents. "Oh. You mean that pink thing?" Ash replied. "It's not just 'a pink thing', it's my entire prankster mastermind!!!!!!!" Gary ran out of the room. "I MUST FIND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gary screamed. He tore off the cushion on the couch and found some condom wrappers and crumbs. But no Whoopee Cushion. He ran down into the lab and in his frantic search, actually said: "Grandpa! Grandma! I can't find my Whoopee Cushion!!!!!!!!" Professor Oak and Delia had been kissing. "Gary, I'm a bit busy here." Professor Oak said. "But I can't find it!!!!!!" Gary whined. "I'm nothing without my pranks!!!!!!!!" "I have wonderful news, Gary!" Delia said, laying a hand on her tummy. "You ate my Whoopee cushion and you can poop it out for me?" Gary said. "No, silly!" Delia said. "You get to have 2 step-uncles now!!!" "You mean you're having a boy?" "Of course." Professor Oak said. "Something must be wrong with you." Gary said to his grandpa, forgetting his whoopee cushion for a moment. "You can't make girls. You can only make boys. My dad was your only kid. And now you have another one that's a boy." "Gary!" Professor Oak said. "Sorry. But I NEED MY WHOOPEE CUSHION!!!!!!!" Gary ran out of the lab. He ran next door to where Misty, Brock, and everyone else was staying. They were out of milk over there, so that's why Ash was over at the Professor's house. But now Ash was back over at his old home.
***************
Brock and May locked themselves in Mrs. Ketchum's room and were very loud. Ash pounded his fist on the kitchen table. "What's wrong Ash?" "The stupid authors are making me jealous of Brock and May." "Why?" "Because one of them has a Pokemon Manga Book and it's the one where you can be Captain Obvious and figure out my Manga crush on May." "Let's burn it." Misty said.
HA!!!!!! YOU'LL NEVER FIND IT!!!! *says the author*
"Damn." Misty said. There was a loud noise as Brock and May fell off the bed. "Oh great." Ash said, sniffing. "Now the author is making me cry." Gary bursts in the house. "Has anyone, ANYONE!!!!!! Seen my whoopee cushion?" He said. "No." said Bobby. "No." Said Nicki. "Has anyone has seen my Jynx? I think she's still with Tracy and I'm getting worried." "No." said Misty. "No." said Ash. "Fudge hinky doodles!!!!!!" Yelled Brock from upstairs. He flung open the master bedroom's door. "Shiz!!!!" May said. Everyone crowded around the stairs. "I thought you said this was a condom!!!!" May yelled at Brock. "It was under the couch at the Professor's house where all the other condoms are!" Brock yelled back. "You must have taken it by mistake!" May screeched. "Let's just hope nothing happens." "It better not." May said, slamming the door in Brock's face, leaving him in the hallway, clutching a sheet around his waist and Gary's Whoopee cushion in his hand. "My whoopee cushion!!!!!" Gary said. He grabbed it and ran laughing madly out of the house.
**************
Delia insisted that everyone come over to the lab for dinner. Everyone crowded in the dining room. "Does anyone know where Tracy is?" Professor Oak asked. As if on cue, okay. The authors made it be on cue, Tracy came in through the back door, Nicki's Jynx following him. "There you are!" Nicki said, recalling Jynx. "Where have you been, young man?" Delia said. "Out." Tracy said. Everyone sniffed the air. "Perfume?" Ash said. "Uh..." Tracy said. "You were out with your Gay Club friends, weren't you?" Professor Oak said. "Yeah.." "Sit." Delia said. Tracy sat. "PPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTT!!!!!!" went Gary's whoopee cushion. "I knew that 'Gas-X' was no good!" Delia said. She handed Tracy a bottle. "Here. Try this 'Beano'." Tracy frowned and looked at the bottle. He got up to get a glass of water to take the pill. Gary took the whoopee cushion. "May I be excuse for a moment?" Gary said. "Sure, dear." Delia replied.
Gary runs into the author's basement where she is typing and watching Dexter's Lab. "Lauren!!!!! Gohan is upstairs in the kitchen!!!!!!!!" "Gohan!!!" says the author. "From Dragonball Z? The teenage one?" "Uh huh." Gary says, nodding. The author runs upstairs to the kitchen. Gary snickers. The author comes back. "I guess he left already." the author says and sits back down in the swirly chair. "PPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTT!!!!!" "GARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The author yells.
Gary comes back and sits at the table in the dining room. And with his super sly prankster ability, sneaks the whoopee cushion under Ash.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!" "Ash!!!" Delia says. "Sorry mom." "If you let out another poofie, you'll harm the baby." Delia said. "Did you tell the news yet?" Professor Oak asked. "No. Everyone?" Everyone turned their attention to Delia. "It's a BOY!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone, except for Ash who fainted, told Delia and Professor Oak congratulations. Misty got up and gave Mrs. Ketchum a hug. When she sat back down, "PPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!" "Excuse me." Misty said, blushing.
"May I be excused again?" Gary asked. "Sure." Professor Oak said. Gary left.
Gary appears at whichever hotel the other author and her friend are staying at in Boise, Idaho. "Hey girls!!!" Gary says. "It's Gary!" Nicole screams. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" screams Ashli. "Guess what? Chris Exley is downstairs in the lobby." Nicole and Ashli run out of the room. Gary laughs evilly and waits for them to come back. "Maybe he already went to his room." Ashli said. "You're right. Too bad. Maybe we should the front desk and ask for his room number and we can visit him." They sat down on the bed.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! !!!!!!!!!!" "GARY!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nicole and Ashli yell.
Gary pops back in this chapter of 'Ah! My Lumbago!'. "I'm back!" Gary says. "That's nice." Delia said. "PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTT!!!!" goes the whoopee cushion under Brock. "Excuse me." Brock said. "That is SO nasty." May says, scooting her chair away from him. "I can't believe I just screwed you. You're disgusting." "Sorry." Brock said.
During the next few weeks, other Pallet town neighbors stopped by the lab and gave Delia baby presents. Ash came in the house from training. "Hey Mom!!!! Tomorrow the Flame Race for the Johto League starts!!! Can we go? Can we go?" He begged. "I don't see why not." Misty, Nicki, and Bobby celebrated. "YAY!!!!!!! We get to go to the Flame Race. We get to go to the Flame Race." "Aren't you happy Brock?" asked Ash. "Yeah." "Then why don't you seem happy?" "May's pregnant." He said, then broke down sobbing.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'The Olympic Related Flame Race Begins'
'Gary Loses His Whoopee Cushion'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
"I AM INSANE WITH ANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gary yelled, running through the house.
"I AM LOSING MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed, tearing through the kitchen.
"IT'S TIME FOR AN ASS WHOOPIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*Gary's dialogue curtsey of 'Signs'. The movie with Mel Gibson and the crop circles. I screamed 5 times and was the only person in the theater who screamed, too.*
"Gary! What's the matter?" Ash asked. "I CAN'T FIND MY WHOOPEE CUSHION!!!!!!!!!" Gary said, throwing open drawers and frantically searching their contents. "Oh. You mean that pink thing?" Ash replied. "It's not just 'a pink thing', it's my entire prankster mastermind!!!!!!!" Gary ran out of the room. "I MUST FIND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gary screamed. He tore off the cushion on the couch and found some condom wrappers and crumbs. But no Whoopee Cushion. He ran down into the lab and in his frantic search, actually said: "Grandpa! Grandma! I can't find my Whoopee Cushion!!!!!!!!" Professor Oak and Delia had been kissing. "Gary, I'm a bit busy here." Professor Oak said. "But I can't find it!!!!!!" Gary whined. "I'm nothing without my pranks!!!!!!!!" "I have wonderful news, Gary!" Delia said, laying a hand on her tummy. "You ate my Whoopee cushion and you can poop it out for me?" Gary said. "No, silly!" Delia said. "You get to have 2 step-uncles now!!!" "You mean you're having a boy?" "Of course." Professor Oak said. "Something must be wrong with you." Gary said to his grandpa, forgetting his whoopee cushion for a moment. "You can't make girls. You can only make boys. My dad was your only kid. And now you have another one that's a boy." "Gary!" Professor Oak said. "Sorry. But I NEED MY WHOOPEE CUSHION!!!!!!!" Gary ran out of the lab. He ran next door to where Misty, Brock, and everyone else was staying. They were out of milk over there, so that's why Ash was over at the Professor's house. But now Ash was back over at his old home.
***************
Brock and May locked themselves in Mrs. Ketchum's room and were very loud. Ash pounded his fist on the kitchen table. "What's wrong Ash?" "The stupid authors are making me jealous of Brock and May." "Why?" "Because one of them has a Pokemon Manga Book and it's the one where you can be Captain Obvious and figure out my Manga crush on May." "Let's burn it." Misty said.
HA!!!!!! YOU'LL NEVER FIND IT!!!! *says the author*
"Damn." Misty said. There was a loud noise as Brock and May fell off the bed. "Oh great." Ash said, sniffing. "Now the author is making me cry." Gary bursts in the house. "Has anyone, ANYONE!!!!!! Seen my whoopee cushion?" He said. "No." said Bobby. "No." Said Nicki. "Has anyone has seen my Jynx? I think she's still with Tracy and I'm getting worried." "No." said Misty. "No." said Ash. "Fudge hinky doodles!!!!!!" Yelled Brock from upstairs. He flung open the master bedroom's door. "Shiz!!!!" May said. Everyone crowded around the stairs. "I thought you said this was a condom!!!!" May yelled at Brock. "It was under the couch at the Professor's house where all the other condoms are!" Brock yelled back. "You must have taken it by mistake!" May screeched. "Let's just hope nothing happens." "It better not." May said, slamming the door in Brock's face, leaving him in the hallway, clutching a sheet around his waist and Gary's Whoopee cushion in his hand. "My whoopee cushion!!!!!" Gary said. He grabbed it and ran laughing madly out of the house.
**************
Delia insisted that everyone come over to the lab for dinner. Everyone crowded in the dining room. "Does anyone know where Tracy is?" Professor Oak asked. As if on cue, okay. The authors made it be on cue, Tracy came in through the back door, Nicki's Jynx following him. "There you are!" Nicki said, recalling Jynx. "Where have you been, young man?" Delia said. "Out." Tracy said. Everyone sniffed the air. "Perfume?" Ash said. "Uh..." Tracy said. "You were out with your Gay Club friends, weren't you?" Professor Oak said. "Yeah.." "Sit." Delia said. Tracy sat. "PPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTT!!!!!!" went Gary's whoopee cushion. "I knew that 'Gas-X' was no good!" Delia said. She handed Tracy a bottle. "Here. Try this 'Beano'." Tracy frowned and looked at the bottle. He got up to get a glass of water to take the pill. Gary took the whoopee cushion. "May I be excuse for a moment?" Gary said. "Sure, dear." Delia replied.
Gary runs into the author's basement where she is typing and watching Dexter's Lab. "Lauren!!!!! Gohan is upstairs in the kitchen!!!!!!!!" "Gohan!!!" says the author. "From Dragonball Z? The teenage one?" "Uh huh." Gary says, nodding. The author runs upstairs to the kitchen. Gary snickers. The author comes back. "I guess he left already." the author says and sits back down in the swirly chair. "PPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTT!!!!!" "GARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The author yells.
Gary comes back and sits at the table in the dining room. And with his super sly prankster ability, sneaks the whoopee cushion under Ash.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!" "Ash!!!" Delia says. "Sorry mom." "If you let out another poofie, you'll harm the baby." Delia said. "Did you tell the news yet?" Professor Oak asked. "No. Everyone?" Everyone turned their attention to Delia. "It's a BOY!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone, except for Ash who fainted, told Delia and Professor Oak congratulations. Misty got up and gave Mrs. Ketchum a hug. When she sat back down, "PPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!" "Excuse me." Misty said, blushing.
"May I be excused again?" Gary asked. "Sure." Professor Oak said. Gary left.
Gary appears at whichever hotel the other author and her friend are staying at in Boise, Idaho. "Hey girls!!!" Gary says. "It's Gary!" Nicole screams. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" screams Ashli. "Guess what? Chris Exley is downstairs in the lobby." Nicole and Ashli run out of the room. Gary laughs evilly and waits for them to come back. "Maybe he already went to his room." Ashli said. "You're right. Too bad. Maybe we should the front desk and ask for his room number and we can visit him." They sat down on the bed.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! !!!!!!!!!!" "GARY!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nicole and Ashli yell.
Gary pops back in this chapter of 'Ah! My Lumbago!'. "I'm back!" Gary says. "That's nice." Delia said. "PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTT!!!!" goes the whoopee cushion under Brock. "Excuse me." Brock said. "That is SO nasty." May says, scooting her chair away from him. "I can't believe I just screwed you. You're disgusting." "Sorry." Brock said.
During the next few weeks, other Pallet town neighbors stopped by the lab and gave Delia baby presents. Ash came in the house from training. "Hey Mom!!!! Tomorrow the Flame Race for the Johto League starts!!! Can we go? Can we go?" He begged. "I don't see why not." Misty, Nicki, and Bobby celebrated. "YAY!!!!!!! We get to go to the Flame Race. We get to go to the Flame Race." "Aren't you happy Brock?" asked Ash. "Yeah." "Then why don't you seem happy?" "May's pregnant." He said, then broke down sobbing.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'The Olympic Related Flame Race Begins'