Ah! My Lumbago!
(Never eat too many Twinkies)
'The Homies Guide to Pimpness'
By Nicole C. & Lauren G. (RowlingIdol)
"Man Misty! That was so gross! How come you had do that?" said Ash, thoroughly disgusted.
"You should be thanking me! There was no other way to save your @$$!" Misty retorted.
"Yeah well after you licked Giovanni's ear like that you better brush your teeth and rinse with fluoride if you think I'm going to kiss you! Humph!" Ash said and stalked off.
"I would never kiss a ghetto slut like that anyways!" Gary pointed out.
Misty slapped him and walked off to find Ash.
****************
Note from your author: Yay! I'm finally writing a chapter! ^-^ Clap for me! Sorry for never writing any chapters before *sweat drop* hehehe... well anyways, on with the story!
Well, it's a new day in Pallet town. The Pokemon have been normal ever since Ash and company saved the day five months ago. But what ever happened to that Mewtwo? Perhaps we shall find out in later chapters. Little Sam is growing smarter by the day with Gary reading him 'The Homies Guide to Pimpness' every night and teaching him the ABC's with flash cards and catchy rap music.
Gary held up a flash card that had a scantily dressed woman with bad makeup on.
"Now what letter is that my little Homie?" Gary asked the mystified Sam.
Sam blinked and threw up.
"No, it's 'U' for ugly slut, yo" Gary explained.
Sam grinned and started laughing.
"Oh, well. You'll get it sooner or later, my man. Now let's get to the next letter." Gary said.
****************
Later on during the day Gary had taken Laura to the mall. When he walked in the door Sam was delighted.
"Gary!" Sam said.
Delia fainted and Gary jumped for joy.
"That's right! I'm Gary!" Gary ran and hugged Sam who threw up on him and then started laughing. Gary laughed and revived Delia. Delia went into a fury!
"How could you Sam? Gary you little @$$#*&*^%^%^$##@$$! Go to your room!!!!" Delia screamed (She hasn't had her Twinkies yet^-^).
Gary ran around the corner and pretended to go into his room. He peaked around the corner and watched. Delia felt a little better and smiled at Sam.
"Now that that stupid Gary is gone you'll be better. I'm going to go get Daddy so he can see that you said your first word!" Said Delia, now forgetting her anger. Delia went down to the lab and fetched Professor Oak.
"See! Look! He can talk now! He said his first word!" Delia said excitedly.
"Oh, wow! Really? What was it?" Asked Professor Oak.
"Gary." Delia mumbled.
"What was that?" Professor Oak asked.
"I said GARY!!!" Delia yelled.
"Oh..." Said Professor Oak, "Now honey, I'm sure it was just a mistake. Here, let's get him to say Mommy."
Delia looked at Sam and pointed to herself, "Okay Sam, I'm Mommy. Say Mommy."
Sam looked up at Delia and spoke, "Ho!" he laughed.
"No! Mommy!" Delia tried to keep herself from yelling.
"Ho!"
"Mommy!" Delia was yelling now.
"Ho!"
"Mommy!"
"Ho!"
"Mommy!"
"Ho!"
"Mommy!"
"Ho!"
"Mommy!"
"Now, now you two," Said Samuel breaking up the fight, "Here let me try Delia."
Gary was laughing so hard now that he was rolling on the floor.
"Okay Sam. I'm Daddy! Say Daddy!" Samuel said in a baby-ish voice.
"Old!" Sam cooed.
"No! Daddy!"
"Old!"
"Daddy!"
"Old!"
"Daddy!"
"Old!"
"Daddy!"
"Old!"
"Daddy!"
"Well, it's dinner time now, I better feed Sam." Said Delia changing the subject. She sat down on the couch with Sam and pulled up her shirt. "Dinner!"
Sam looked up, "Titties!"
Delia was shocked, "No Sam, they're breasts."
"Titties!" Sam cooed.
Delia decided not to argue with him and started feeding him. When she was done she decided to invite everyone over for dinner to celebrate. She set about making dinner and left Sam with Samuel. He was playing peek-a-boo with Sam when Ash walked in. Gary was still watching.
Sam looked up at Ash, "Z!"
Ash smiled, "Wow! He's talking now?"
"Yeah," said Samuel. "He's already said Gary, which was his first word, ho, old and titties. I don't know what 'Z' means though."
Gary couldn't contain himself any longer, "It means Ash is Stupid! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
"Oh, and how would you know?" Ash said angrily.
"Because, I taught him that with my ABC's flash cards," Gary said trying to get a hold of himself.
"Why you little!" Ash screamed and attacked Gary.
"PPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"
Went Gary's whoopee cushion.
"Ha ha ha! You really are stupid!" Gary could barely talk, he was laughing to hard. "Anyone but you could'a seen that one comin'!"
"Eeeeeaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh!" Ash screamed and started punching Gary. All the while Sam just kept pointing at Ash and saying 'Z'.
"Now, now boys," Professor Oak tried to pull Ash off of the unaffected Gary. "Break it up."
When Professor Oak finally managed to pull Ash off of Gary it was almost dinnertime. Delia walked in the living room and told Ash to go get everyone.
****************
"Mmmmmmmm... this food is great!" Brock said, "Maybe you can give May a few cooking lessons."
*Thwack!* May hit Brock upside the head. "Why do you have to make so many derogatory comments about my cooking!" yelled May.
"Ouch! I didn't mean it like that, honey! Your cooking is wonderful. I was simply suggesting that you two girls get together and share cooking stuff." Brock said quickly.
"Oh! That would be so wonderful! Wouldn't it, May?" Delia exclaimed.
"Yes! It would. I would love to do that with you Delia." May said. She's apparently having mood swings.
"How about tomorrow?"
"That sounds great!"
Everyone went on with dinner. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
"May, why don't you answer that?" Professor Oak said.
May went and opened the door. "Gary, it's for you. Why don't you come in?" May suggested.
"Aaaaa! It's the authors!" screamed Ash.
"What are you doing here?" said Professor Oak.
"Oh! It's nothing at all really... we just wanted to check up on you!" Said Nicole.
"Hey Gary! I found your missing porn stash!" said Lauren.
"Really! Lead me to it, yo!"
"It's over here under the couch cushion"
While Gary was over getting his missing porn stash, Nicole set a devious trap. After retrieving his treasure Gary came and sat down.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"
Went the giant whoopee cushion sitting under Gary. Everyone except for Delia burst out laughing hysterically.
"Gary! If you have problems then you should go into the bathroom and take care of it!" Delia said. She was appalled that Gary had "farted" at her dinner table. "Now you take some of this and you'll feel better. It worked on Tracey." Delia handed him a bottle of Bean-o, which caused more laughter. "All of you be quiet! It's not funny!"
Everyone tried to contain their laughter but couldn't. When they finally got a hold of themselves Nicole and Lauren said that they needed to go and took off. Gary was bright red with anger and embarrassment.
"Hey! You two ghetto hos get your fat jabooties back here!" Gary screamed. Just then he found a note attached to the whoopee cushion. It said 'Revenge is a dish best served cold, you ho licker!'
****************
After dinner our Pokemon gang decided to go to Baskin Robins. They even took baby Sam.
"Yo! I'd like a waffle cone with two scoops of Gary! Scoop it quick ho!" Gary said to the girl behind the counter.
"Um... Sir there is no such thing as a flavor named 'Gary'." Said the girl.
"What you talkin' 'bout ho! Fine if there isn't Gary then I'll take Pink Jiggly Puff Bubblegum. It was always my favorite as a child, yo."
"And what would you like sir?" the girl asked Misty.
"I'm not a boy!" Misty screamed, "What are you retarded or something!?!"
"I'm so sorry! I didn't know! You're just so flat... What flavor do you want?" the ice cream girl quickly changed the subject.
"I want Blue Berry Marril" Misty said.
The other people that were in the store stared at Misty and decided to leave. They were afraid. Misty stared after them venomously. Delia and Professor Oak ordered a Clefairy Crap Chocolate Sundae to share with Sam. May ordered vanilla ice cream with pickles on top. Brock ordered a Dragonair's Lagoon slushy. Tracey ordered Hump Buddy Honey ice cream, thinking that it would provide some sort of a hump buddy. Ash ordered Pikachu Pee ice cream. They all had fun and ate ice cream to their hearts content. Little did they know someone was watching...
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'The Thrilling Conclusion to Ah! My Lumbago!'
Note from the author: Sorry this took me so long to type! I hope you liked it! Sorry if there are any spelling errors in the names of the Pokemon.
(Never eat too many Twinkies)
'The Homies Guide to Pimpness'
By Nicole C. & Lauren G. (RowlingIdol)
"Man Misty! That was so gross! How come you had do that?" said Ash, thoroughly disgusted.
"You should be thanking me! There was no other way to save your @$$!" Misty retorted.
"Yeah well after you licked Giovanni's ear like that you better brush your teeth and rinse with fluoride if you think I'm going to kiss you! Humph!" Ash said and stalked off.
"I would never kiss a ghetto slut like that anyways!" Gary pointed out.
Misty slapped him and walked off to find Ash.
****************
Note from your author: Yay! I'm finally writing a chapter! ^-^ Clap for me! Sorry for never writing any chapters before *sweat drop* hehehe... well anyways, on with the story!
Well, it's a new day in Pallet town. The Pokemon have been normal ever since Ash and company saved the day five months ago. But what ever happened to that Mewtwo? Perhaps we shall find out in later chapters. Little Sam is growing smarter by the day with Gary reading him 'The Homies Guide to Pimpness' every night and teaching him the ABC's with flash cards and catchy rap music.
Gary held up a flash card that had a scantily dressed woman with bad makeup on.
"Now what letter is that my little Homie?" Gary asked the mystified Sam.
Sam blinked and threw up.
"No, it's 'U' for ugly slut, yo" Gary explained.
Sam grinned and started laughing.
"Oh, well. You'll get it sooner or later, my man. Now let's get to the next letter." Gary said.
****************
Later on during the day Gary had taken Laura to the mall. When he walked in the door Sam was delighted.
"Gary!" Sam said.
Delia fainted and Gary jumped for joy.
"That's right! I'm Gary!" Gary ran and hugged Sam who threw up on him and then started laughing. Gary laughed and revived Delia. Delia went into a fury!
"How could you Sam? Gary you little @$$#*&*^%^%^$##@$$! Go to your room!!!!" Delia screamed (She hasn't had her Twinkies yet^-^).
Gary ran around the corner and pretended to go into his room. He peaked around the corner and watched. Delia felt a little better and smiled at Sam.
"Now that that stupid Gary is gone you'll be better. I'm going to go get Daddy so he can see that you said your first word!" Said Delia, now forgetting her anger. Delia went down to the lab and fetched Professor Oak.
"See! Look! He can talk now! He said his first word!" Delia said excitedly.
"Oh, wow! Really? What was it?" Asked Professor Oak.
"Gary." Delia mumbled.
"What was that?" Professor Oak asked.
"I said GARY!!!" Delia yelled.
"Oh..." Said Professor Oak, "Now honey, I'm sure it was just a mistake. Here, let's get him to say Mommy."
Delia looked at Sam and pointed to herself, "Okay Sam, I'm Mommy. Say Mommy."
Sam looked up at Delia and spoke, "Ho!" he laughed.
"No! Mommy!" Delia tried to keep herself from yelling.
"Ho!"
"Mommy!" Delia was yelling now.
"Ho!"
"Mommy!"
"Ho!"
"Mommy!"
"Ho!"
"Mommy!"
"Ho!"
"Mommy!"
"Now, now you two," Said Samuel breaking up the fight, "Here let me try Delia."
Gary was laughing so hard now that he was rolling on the floor.
"Okay Sam. I'm Daddy! Say Daddy!" Samuel said in a baby-ish voice.
"Old!" Sam cooed.
"No! Daddy!"
"Old!"
"Daddy!"
"Old!"
"Daddy!"
"Old!"
"Daddy!"
"Old!"
"Daddy!"
"Well, it's dinner time now, I better feed Sam." Said Delia changing the subject. She sat down on the couch with Sam and pulled up her shirt. "Dinner!"
Sam looked up, "Titties!"
Delia was shocked, "No Sam, they're breasts."
"Titties!" Sam cooed.
Delia decided not to argue with him and started feeding him. When she was done she decided to invite everyone over for dinner to celebrate. She set about making dinner and left Sam with Samuel. He was playing peek-a-boo with Sam when Ash walked in. Gary was still watching.
Sam looked up at Ash, "Z!"
Ash smiled, "Wow! He's talking now?"
"Yeah," said Samuel. "He's already said Gary, which was his first word, ho, old and titties. I don't know what 'Z' means though."
Gary couldn't contain himself any longer, "It means Ash is Stupid! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
"Oh, and how would you know?" Ash said angrily.
"Because, I taught him that with my ABC's flash cards," Gary said trying to get a hold of himself.
"Why you little!" Ash screamed and attacked Gary.
"PPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"
Went Gary's whoopee cushion.
"Ha ha ha! You really are stupid!" Gary could barely talk, he was laughing to hard. "Anyone but you could'a seen that one comin'!"
"Eeeeeaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh!" Ash screamed and started punching Gary. All the while Sam just kept pointing at Ash and saying 'Z'.
"Now, now boys," Professor Oak tried to pull Ash off of the unaffected Gary. "Break it up."
When Professor Oak finally managed to pull Ash off of Gary it was almost dinnertime. Delia walked in the living room and told Ash to go get everyone.
****************
"Mmmmmmmm... this food is great!" Brock said, "Maybe you can give May a few cooking lessons."
*Thwack!* May hit Brock upside the head. "Why do you have to make so many derogatory comments about my cooking!" yelled May.
"Ouch! I didn't mean it like that, honey! Your cooking is wonderful. I was simply suggesting that you two girls get together and share cooking stuff." Brock said quickly.
"Oh! That would be so wonderful! Wouldn't it, May?" Delia exclaimed.
"Yes! It would. I would love to do that with you Delia." May said. She's apparently having mood swings.
"How about tomorrow?"
"That sounds great!"
Everyone went on with dinner. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
"May, why don't you answer that?" Professor Oak said.
May went and opened the door. "Gary, it's for you. Why don't you come in?" May suggested.
"Aaaaa! It's the authors!" screamed Ash.
"What are you doing here?" said Professor Oak.
"Oh! It's nothing at all really... we just wanted to check up on you!" Said Nicole.
"Hey Gary! I found your missing porn stash!" said Lauren.
"Really! Lead me to it, yo!"
"It's over here under the couch cushion"
While Gary was over getting his missing porn stash, Nicole set a devious trap. After retrieving his treasure Gary came and sat down.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"
Went the giant whoopee cushion sitting under Gary. Everyone except for Delia burst out laughing hysterically.
"Gary! If you have problems then you should go into the bathroom and take care of it!" Delia said. She was appalled that Gary had "farted" at her dinner table. "Now you take some of this and you'll feel better. It worked on Tracey." Delia handed him a bottle of Bean-o, which caused more laughter. "All of you be quiet! It's not funny!"
Everyone tried to contain their laughter but couldn't. When they finally got a hold of themselves Nicole and Lauren said that they needed to go and took off. Gary was bright red with anger and embarrassment.
"Hey! You two ghetto hos get your fat jabooties back here!" Gary screamed. Just then he found a note attached to the whoopee cushion. It said 'Revenge is a dish best served cold, you ho licker!'
****************
After dinner our Pokemon gang decided to go to Baskin Robins. They even took baby Sam.
"Yo! I'd like a waffle cone with two scoops of Gary! Scoop it quick ho!" Gary said to the girl behind the counter.
"Um... Sir there is no such thing as a flavor named 'Gary'." Said the girl.
"What you talkin' 'bout ho! Fine if there isn't Gary then I'll take Pink Jiggly Puff Bubblegum. It was always my favorite as a child, yo."
"And what would you like sir?" the girl asked Misty.
"I'm not a boy!" Misty screamed, "What are you retarded or something!?!"
"I'm so sorry! I didn't know! You're just so flat... What flavor do you want?" the ice cream girl quickly changed the subject.
"I want Blue Berry Marril" Misty said.
The other people that were in the store stared at Misty and decided to leave. They were afraid. Misty stared after them venomously. Delia and Professor Oak ordered a Clefairy Crap Chocolate Sundae to share with Sam. May ordered vanilla ice cream with pickles on top. Brock ordered a Dragonair's Lagoon slushy. Tracey ordered Hump Buddy Honey ice cream, thinking that it would provide some sort of a hump buddy. Ash ordered Pikachu Pee ice cream. They all had fun and ate ice cream to their hearts content. Little did they know someone was watching...
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'The Thrilling Conclusion to Ah! My Lumbago!'
Note from the author: Sorry this took me so long to type! I hope you liked it! Sorry if there are any spelling errors in the names of the Pokemon.