Been a while. Well sorry for not updating sooner, homework has just been
working me to the bone lately.
Enjoy, R & R please!
Getting back to the campsite, I felt tired. I knew it would be impossible to rest upon arriving there. My friends all had these worried looks on their faces, some angry, even.
Who could blame them? I had basically disappeared, left them without a single word of where I'd be.
But, it isn't always their business to know where I was, I reminded myself. I had feelings; I needed time to myself, just as they did.
Still, I felt this ache in the back of my head. This feeling that only came when I knew I was wrong. But was it wrong? All I did was leave, and it was Auron's fault anyway, I reminded myself bitterly. I remembered him; his arms drawing her into an embrace, holding her closely to him, as if he knew it would hurt me to no end.
I soon couldn't think about anything anymore, when I felt Lulu's arms wrap around me in a strong, relieved embrace.
She had said, 'Yuna! Where have you been? We were so worried about you!' Instead of showing them what I really felt, I put on my usual, contented expression, to show them that I did care that they had been so worried of my disappearance, if only for a short while.
Inside, all I wanted to do was leave them, tell them I could make it on my own, that I wasn't a child.
I knew, though, that I could never do a thing such as that. I would be letting down every one around me. It still wasn't fair, I wanted to live. But, it seems every one else wants me to be a sacrifice, one of the many sent to die.
Finally, I sighed and told them I would be in my tent. I stripped off my clothing, lying them down together in a pile. I redressed in long gown-like dress that many women used for sleeping.
As I lye, with my head on the center of my pillow, rain falling softly outside the tent, I think of my father.
The man was so determined, so selfless, so brave. When I was young all I wanted was to be more like him. If I were like him: I'd give, without anyone asking, I would smile, truly smile.
That's what I thought then, this was what I thought now: Would he be proud to know what I've become? Would he still love me even though my heart was not as pure as his?
I didn't know, it probably didn't matter anyway.
There were, on the other hand, some nice points to being a summoner: I had my own tent, my space and was always fed first.
Did it do me very good though? I wasn't a big eater, and I certainly wasn't someone (in my opinion), who deserved their own tent.
I paused in breathing when I heard a loud noise from the entrance of my quarters. It's probably nobody, I thought.
It was dark, but I could make out a large, standing form in front of me.
"Who is it?" I asked, slightly nervous.
"Yuna." Hearing the voice, I immediately felt my heart begin to pound in my chest.
I took a deep breath, "Auron, what are you doing in here?" I ask, trying to hide the hurt in my voice.
"I came to see. how you were doing," he replied, calm as always.
"I'm fine," I replied sharply, yet still, I believe the hurt was detectable to him.
Without answering me, he lye himself down beside me on the sleeping bag.
"What do you-"
"You're not fine. I know how you must feel," he said.
"Bull, you don't know anything of what I'm feeling right now." I turned onto my side, my back to him.
"You may be right. I probably don't know," he said.
A long pause between us, I finally say, "Why'd you touch her like that? Have you no decency?"
He sighed, "I held her, thinking she was hurt, I had no idea at all that what happened next would happen."
"Do you perceive me to be that naïve?" I snap at him. "I'm not this little damsel in distress, I know when I've been cheated."
"I didn't think it would hurt you as much it did."
"How did you think it would hurt me?" I reply, anger now very detectable in my voice.
"Well, I-"
"You didn't think it would hurt me, right?"
"Correct."
"Well it did. So what is there for you to say to me now?" I say, impatience growing on me now.
"I'm sorry about it. I didn't want it to happen."
"The look in your eye. it was a look that never had graced it before in my presence."
He was silent.
"The look seems, no it is, it's lust. Isn't it?"
"No, never-"
"Don't be so ignorant, don't treat this matter as if I was a child. I am a grown woman, you will acknowledge me as one." I order him.
"Lady Yuna, I meant no disrespect."
"Well that's just what happened. You disrespected me, and by doing so, have also disrespected my father."
"I know. it will never happen again."
"You better be telling me the untouched truth."
"I am. Now, I think I should go."
"No, I want. you to stay with me."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'm feeling upset, I don't know if being alone is the best thing for me right now," I said.
"I know many that would beg to differ."
"Well that's them, this is me."
"All right, Yuna, I will stay. But only if it is in the best interest of your mental state of mind right now."
I don't respond. Instead I grasp his hands from behind me and place them on my shoulders.
He takes this as a sign to hold me to him, pulling me deeper into his abdomen, closer to his heart.
That's it for now. Review if you feel the need.
Enjoy, R & R please!
Getting back to the campsite, I felt tired. I knew it would be impossible to rest upon arriving there. My friends all had these worried looks on their faces, some angry, even.
Who could blame them? I had basically disappeared, left them without a single word of where I'd be.
But, it isn't always their business to know where I was, I reminded myself. I had feelings; I needed time to myself, just as they did.
Still, I felt this ache in the back of my head. This feeling that only came when I knew I was wrong. But was it wrong? All I did was leave, and it was Auron's fault anyway, I reminded myself bitterly. I remembered him; his arms drawing her into an embrace, holding her closely to him, as if he knew it would hurt me to no end.
I soon couldn't think about anything anymore, when I felt Lulu's arms wrap around me in a strong, relieved embrace.
She had said, 'Yuna! Where have you been? We were so worried about you!' Instead of showing them what I really felt, I put on my usual, contented expression, to show them that I did care that they had been so worried of my disappearance, if only for a short while.
Inside, all I wanted to do was leave them, tell them I could make it on my own, that I wasn't a child.
I knew, though, that I could never do a thing such as that. I would be letting down every one around me. It still wasn't fair, I wanted to live. But, it seems every one else wants me to be a sacrifice, one of the many sent to die.
Finally, I sighed and told them I would be in my tent. I stripped off my clothing, lying them down together in a pile. I redressed in long gown-like dress that many women used for sleeping.
As I lye, with my head on the center of my pillow, rain falling softly outside the tent, I think of my father.
The man was so determined, so selfless, so brave. When I was young all I wanted was to be more like him. If I were like him: I'd give, without anyone asking, I would smile, truly smile.
That's what I thought then, this was what I thought now: Would he be proud to know what I've become? Would he still love me even though my heart was not as pure as his?
I didn't know, it probably didn't matter anyway.
There were, on the other hand, some nice points to being a summoner: I had my own tent, my space and was always fed first.
Did it do me very good though? I wasn't a big eater, and I certainly wasn't someone (in my opinion), who deserved their own tent.
I paused in breathing when I heard a loud noise from the entrance of my quarters. It's probably nobody, I thought.
It was dark, but I could make out a large, standing form in front of me.
"Who is it?" I asked, slightly nervous.
"Yuna." Hearing the voice, I immediately felt my heart begin to pound in my chest.
I took a deep breath, "Auron, what are you doing in here?" I ask, trying to hide the hurt in my voice.
"I came to see. how you were doing," he replied, calm as always.
"I'm fine," I replied sharply, yet still, I believe the hurt was detectable to him.
Without answering me, he lye himself down beside me on the sleeping bag.
"What do you-"
"You're not fine. I know how you must feel," he said.
"Bull, you don't know anything of what I'm feeling right now." I turned onto my side, my back to him.
"You may be right. I probably don't know," he said.
A long pause between us, I finally say, "Why'd you touch her like that? Have you no decency?"
He sighed, "I held her, thinking she was hurt, I had no idea at all that what happened next would happen."
"Do you perceive me to be that naïve?" I snap at him. "I'm not this little damsel in distress, I know when I've been cheated."
"I didn't think it would hurt you as much it did."
"How did you think it would hurt me?" I reply, anger now very detectable in my voice.
"Well, I-"
"You didn't think it would hurt me, right?"
"Correct."
"Well it did. So what is there for you to say to me now?" I say, impatience growing on me now.
"I'm sorry about it. I didn't want it to happen."
"The look in your eye. it was a look that never had graced it before in my presence."
He was silent.
"The look seems, no it is, it's lust. Isn't it?"
"No, never-"
"Don't be so ignorant, don't treat this matter as if I was a child. I am a grown woman, you will acknowledge me as one." I order him.
"Lady Yuna, I meant no disrespect."
"Well that's just what happened. You disrespected me, and by doing so, have also disrespected my father."
"I know. it will never happen again."
"You better be telling me the untouched truth."
"I am. Now, I think I should go."
"No, I want. you to stay with me."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'm feeling upset, I don't know if being alone is the best thing for me right now," I said.
"I know many that would beg to differ."
"Well that's them, this is me."
"All right, Yuna, I will stay. But only if it is in the best interest of your mental state of mind right now."
I don't respond. Instead I grasp his hands from behind me and place them on my shoulders.
He takes this as a sign to hold me to him, pulling me deeper into his abdomen, closer to his heart.
That's it for now. Review if you feel the need.