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In My Face
by
Alyson Grant
Chapter Eleven:
It was Saturday night. It was a full moon. White, creamy and shimmering in a soft glowing light. It fell on us in a beacon of light among the light dusting of stars in the dark nights sky.
I was wearing a dark blue denim dress that was on my figure in a halter style and stopped a few inches above my knees. That night, for old times sake I decided to but my hair in the hairstyle I used to love. With some eye shadow, mascara, and the usual coat of tinted red lip gloss I was ready to go with my little denim bag in hand as I left my father slightly upset when he saw me and my mother proud before I walked out the front door to where a shiny red Porsche was waiting. Rei drove everyone to Andrews house seeing as how I don't have a car yet, Ami's car was parked back on campus. and everyone else's car wasn't in the country.
I immediately saw him and while he looked good in a white shirt and dark blue jeans my eyes narrowed in annoyance anyway. It's my instant reaction to him I guess. When he saw me he gave me a casual wave. I didn't care if I was being rude when I looked past him to where Andrew was standing with his other friends. Mina was already making her way toward him despite what I had told her about him having a girlfriend. She craves the danger and excitement of getting a guy.
I try to tell her it's hopeless but it's not as if she'll actually listen to my words. She snaked her arms around him as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. The girl just has no shame and right across the room was Rita looking with a mildly curious expression at what this girl was doing with her love. Yes her love.
Mina thinks she can break something like that. Well…I'm sure she doesn't really. In fact I'm positive. It's all a game to her which was why she got the boy she met from the airplane a invite to the party. It was their second date since they met and knowing Andrew this party was bound to be exciting.
"Andrew this party is great." I said as I stood next to him unnoticed as he was by then talking to Rita.
"Serena!" He said as he gave me a quick hug. "I didn't see you come in."
"Yeah well my entrance wasn't anything major. Don't worry! You didn't miss much."
He laughed and asked as he turned slightly toward her , "You remember Rita right?"
"Of course. Rita, how have you been since I last saw you?
"I've been okay. Still the same. I can't say the say the same for you though. You look so different."
"The whole aging process can do that to you." I said dryly. As if I care.
"Charming wit." She gave me a friendly smile as she said this and then hooked her arm through Andrew's. "Andrew lets dance."
"Okay. Serena enjoy the party and I'll see you later." He said as he smiled at me.
"Bye!" I said as I watched the two of them walk off the sidelines and into mass of limbs moving wildly to the beat of the pulsating music.
"So that's his girlfriend?" Rei asked as she walked up to me with a glass in hand.
"Yes that would be the girlfriend." I said as I took the other glass she silently offered.
"How's Mina taking the news?" She asked with a smirk as she sat down in a seat beside me. She was wearing a black dress that had red embroidery taking the shape of small dragons at the hem.
"I doubt she notices or cares." I said with a laugh. "Look at them over there."
She turned to look at where I was pointing. Mina was talking the boy she managed to invite. He had his hands on her hips and they were swaying to the music. She was quite obviously having fun as she was oblivious to the events going on around her.
"Cute little scene she has going on." She commented as she smiled slightly.
"I'll say. He's cute too." I said as I took in his high cheekbones, muscular body, and dark brown hair that matched his eyes. Beside me Rei made a sound of appriaction.
"Yeah, that's true. You can't say she doesn't have good taste."
"Stop gossiping about Mina and her friend and join the party." A commanding voice from behind us said.
As we turned around I couldn't help but smile as I said to Ami, "First of all we are not gossiping about anyone. Secondly we are joining the party. We are right in the center of it all."
"Yeah that's right. I resent the accusation. How could you think such things about us?" Rei said.
"Uh huh I'm so sure about that. Maybe I think them because I'm right. That's a good reason, don't you think?" Ami rolled her eyes as she stood there looking at us. "Your talking to each other when you should be dancing. Explain to me one more time how exactly is that being in the center of it all?"
"Rip apart my words with no mercy why don't you?" I gave her a playful shove.
"Ami's right." Rei said suddenly. "I'm in the mood for a little dancing."
"Okay, okay. Let's get this party started!" I grinned and off we went. Together.
"Yeah that's right. A party just hasn't begun unless I'm there to set it off."
"Spare us the ego trip."
"Your really lucky Serena that I'm not in a bad mood. Your treading on some dangerous ground."
"Whatever, Rei." I rolled my eyes at her words.
The party was banging and off the hook. I was dancing until I felt dead tired. I was having some cute guys asking me to dance and flirting with me like they had nothing else to do. I had them looking me up and down and stop once they caught my dangerous stare. I had them panting like they were dogs and I just didn't care.
Some were cute and others not as much. Some were polite and some were plain crude. I accepted and dismissed with my regular flair. I had my friends laughing when they saw some guys get dissed. Oops. That's dismissed thank you very much.
I was tired of dancing and this crazy scene. You really can't say Andrew doesn't know how to throw a good party. These college boys were feigning for me and I just starting to get annoyed so I walked off. I walked outside toward the back of the house to where the party spilled over near the pool and sat in a chair near the veranda.
A deep male voice said. "Hey."
"Hi." I said shortly.
"Want a drink?"
"No not really. Thanks anyway." I rolled my eyes. How many hints does this dim witted boy need?
"Want to talk?"
"No, not really. I'm a little busy."
"Really, you don't look busy to me. What's with the cold shoulder? You have a boyfriend or something?"
"Is it any of your business?" I asked him in response.
"Mark leave her alone." Another boy with a stocky build and a friendly smile came over. As he stood next to him I wondered when they would both leave. They seemed friendly enough, the first one a little too persistent and oblivious to the facts then I would prefer but overall they both seemed to be okay. I just wasn't in the mood for flirting. Can't a girl get a break?
"Why? We were just talking."
"No." I said as I flicked my eyes to the boy who was apparently named Mark and to dark hared newcomer. You were talking. I was politely ignoring. Now if you'll excuse me?" I got up, gave them both a withering stare and stalked off .
Can't I just be left alone for one second without some idiot trying to strike up a conversation? I know that this was a party but at that moment I didn't really feel like socializing. If you can't handle that then get out of my face. That's all I'm going to say. It's not my business to care about your feelings. It's your job to be man enough to face them in a way that you prefer.
I had been sitting in another seat in a secluded corner for at least a few minutes when I closed my eyes. I must have dozed off and when I woke up a while later, I found myself looking straight into the eyes of Darien, Mine widened slightly and my heart hammered in my chest for a few seconds until I shut my eyes quickly and forced myself to calm down.
"Sleeping Beauty finally wakes up." He said easily as he leaned in even closer to me.
"What are you doing here?" I said as raised myself and he slowly drew himself away from me while keeping me locked in a instance gaze. I looked back at him with a look of a detachment that I wasn't feeling at the moment.
"I was invited to this party, same as you."
"That's not what I meant and you know it." I said as I didn't spare him one of my most withering glances. A healthy green leaf would have turned crumbled and turned a antique bronze color under that look but he remained unaffected. At least on the surface that is how he appeared.
He looked back at me with a straight look on his face. Something flitted across his features for a second but I couldn't figure out what it was. In the early moonlight he looked even more handsome as he contemplated something and then said it.
"Serena what's your problem?" He asked with a furrow of his dark brow.
"What do you mean what's my problem?" I narrowed my eyes in confusion. My problem? I didn't have a problem than you very much. What was he talking about?
"You've been acting so weird." He said.
"I've been acting weird? Oh this is rich. Truly rich. Your funny. You should hear yourself sometime." I exclaimed.
"So then we're okay?" He asked me. He almost sounded hopeful and why he would sound that way I don't know. It's not like he likes me or anything….
"Darien we have never been okay. We just tolerate each other."
"I don't think so. We are at least friends right?"
"Maybe we could be friends if you would stop teasing me all the time! I'm not fourteen anymore Darien."
"I know that. You have no idea how much I realize that fact."
My eyes widened once more at his words. What did he mean by that remark? Sometimes this boy was even more confusing and hard to understand then usual. It's a wonder why I even take the time to even bother to try. "Oh really? You don't act like it."
"You want me to act like it?"
"I want for you to leave me alone! What's with everyone tonight? Can't I be left alone for one second? Or is that too much to ask for?"
"This is exactly what I was talking about."
"Excuse me?"
"What's your problem?" He repeated his earlier question with a slightly annoyed look.
I flinched under his direct gaze. "I don't have a problem that you should be concerned about. Even if I did, do you honestly think I would tell you?"
"I don't see why not."
"Ha. I hope that's some sick joke of yours."
"You don't trust me do you?"
"It doesn't matter if I trust you or not. What does that have to do with anything?"
"Everything. It's has absolutely everything to do with us."
"There is no us. There never was a us. And there will never be a us. So get it off your mind!"
"Too late." He said in a low voice just before he leaned in and kissed me gently. My eyes grew even wider at his sudden intrusion and I tried to fight him off but I couldn't, My hands were trapped under his in a vise like grip. He was a good kisser I discovered quickly with soft lips and then when he probed inside with his tough I relaxed against the onslaught of emotions. I was into this now and my hands which he had released in the heat of the passion felt moment snaked around his back. Finally after I don't know how long we stopped and I slowly opened my eyes and found him having in his eyes the same emotion I felt.
My mind was reeling from that kiss and I took a step backwards and away. I felt warm and really hot but also felt horrified by what had just occurred. This was Darien… The boy I was sworn to hate. What was the meaning of this?
"Still don't trust me?" He asked with a devilish glint in his eyes and a matching grin on his face.
"What makes you think I'm going to trust you after one kiss?" My eyes narrowed suspiciously at his words. As he took a step forward and touch my face I just barely noticed the longing held in his eyes which made me wonder about his words even more.
"Why not, was it bad?"
"No."
"Good."
"Ohh you idiot. That's not wasn't what I meant and you know it. I hate you!"
"No you don't."
"What the hell makes you so sure about what I feel?"
"Good question. Maybe the fact that your as transparent as glass and you didn't dislike the kiss. No not the kiss. You don't hate me either. You just hate your reaction."
"How dare you! You don't know me. You don't know one single. Solitary thing about me. Don't even try that. You don't have the right."
"You are so different then you were before." He mummer as he brushed a finger against my cheek. I flinched but didn't back away. I wasn't even sure that I wanted too. Surely if I did make a sudden movement to reject his touch my heart wouldn't be in it. That's exactly what I was so afraid of.
"That's nice. Thanks for telling me what I already know."
"Must you always be so hard to talk to?"
"Must you always try to talk to me? It's obvious that I don't want to talk to you."
"Oh really? I was doubting that so called fact a few seconds ago."
"I don't know what happened or why you kissed me but lets forget about it."
"I can't do that."
"Yeah? Well I can."
"No you can't."
"I've told you before and I guess I'll tell you again, you don't know me. Don't presume to think what I will and will not do. You don't know me and you don't understand me. It's pointless to try."
"It's not pointless because I want to get to know you. I want you trust me and I don't even know why you won't. What have I ever done to you really?"
"You want to know why I don't trust you?"
"Yeah I do."
"It's statements like that, that make me doubt you even more."
"Why? It's the truth."
"No Darien, it's not. I don't know what to call it but it's not. You never wanted to get to know me before so why the sudden interest now? You can't possibly like me. You never have and never will so don't even try to give me that old line."
"It's not a sudden interest. What's it going to take to let you know that if I said those words, it wouldn't be some line but something that I really feel for you?"
"I find that very hard to believe."
"Well believe it. I've always wanted to get to know you."
"I really don't trust you. Just leave me alone." I turned away and walked quickly to the main point of the party with him following close behind.
"Serena- Serena- Serena- please wait!"
"Why?" I asked as I whirled around to face him.
"I'm trying to tell you something."
"I don't want to hear it!"
"And why is that? What are you so afraid of?"
"I'm not afraid of a single thing! Just do as I say and leave me alone. What are you deaf? Just do it!" I exclaimed in frustration as I ran off toward the double doors and quickly went through them leaving him behind.
I couldn't believe what had just occurred. What Darien had almost said. What he would have said if I hadn't cut him off so abruptly. I just wanted to get away. I liked him but I had to get away from him at the same time. A part of me wanted to hear those words and then another even bigger part of me didn't want to hear it and then get hurt. Nothing he said could erase what I went through with him a few years back. I honestly didn't think so. If he liked me as much as he seemed to say then why did he always persist in making my life misribable?
No. I thought with a sudden determination. He didn't like me. Whatever had occurred between the two of us was nothing at all. Whatever had possessed the two of us to share that blinding emotion felt kiss had left. This was over. I may like him but until he apologized to me I wasn't going to hear a word that he uttered out of that mouth of his. That handsome, soft mouth of his to be sure but still…
"This whole scenario of you teasing me about basically everything about me isn't as cute as it once was. It never was cute but you could never see that can you?"
"Serena-"
"No. Listen to me. It was never funny although you seemed to think it was hysterical. You hurt me a lot back then and you thought it was funny." I got up and started walking away.
"I'm sorry." He called out to my receding back.
"See," I rolled my eyes and looked back, "Sorry doesn't quite cut it." Suddenly I was mad and didn't care if he knew it or not. "Listen to me carefully. You hurt me. I can't forgive that. You took me when I was at my most vulnerable about everything in my life and turned it into this hysterical joke. It was toward your benefit and my destruction. How can I forgive that? Tell me."
When he opened his mouth to speak I raised my hand in dismissal. I didn't even want to hear it. "You know what? Don't. Don't bother. I've got to go." I said looking up at him. I pushed a strand of hair away from my face and turned to leave once more.
"Wait! Please Serena I-."
"You what?" I said turning around with impatience. "Wait let me guess! You've just realized what a huge mistake you've just made? Is that it?"
"No actually I don't think it was a mistake at all." He said steadily.
"Oh really?" I said doubtfully , "And why is that?"
"You don't get it do you?" He asked
"Obviously not. You tell me."
"Okay, I-"
"Serena!" Suddenly we were interrupted by another voice. "I'm so glad I found you! You have got to come with me."
"What's going on?" I asked in a confused tone.
"Come on!"
"On second thought. Tell me later." I gave him a kiss on the cheek before I knew what I was doing and she all but pulled me away from Darien. I left him standing there bathed in the moonlight as I dashed further and further away. I was escaping. It was liberation. I was afraid of what I felt…
In My Face
by
Alyson Grant
Chapter Eleven:
It was Saturday night. It was a full moon. White, creamy and shimmering in a soft glowing light. It fell on us in a beacon of light among the light dusting of stars in the dark nights sky.
I was wearing a dark blue denim dress that was on my figure in a halter style and stopped a few inches above my knees. That night, for old times sake I decided to but my hair in the hairstyle I used to love. With some eye shadow, mascara, and the usual coat of tinted red lip gloss I was ready to go with my little denim bag in hand as I left my father slightly upset when he saw me and my mother proud before I walked out the front door to where a shiny red Porsche was waiting. Rei drove everyone to Andrews house seeing as how I don't have a car yet, Ami's car was parked back on campus. and everyone else's car wasn't in the country.
I immediately saw him and while he looked good in a white shirt and dark blue jeans my eyes narrowed in annoyance anyway. It's my instant reaction to him I guess. When he saw me he gave me a casual wave. I didn't care if I was being rude when I looked past him to where Andrew was standing with his other friends. Mina was already making her way toward him despite what I had told her about him having a girlfriend. She craves the danger and excitement of getting a guy.
I try to tell her it's hopeless but it's not as if she'll actually listen to my words. She snaked her arms around him as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. The girl just has no shame and right across the room was Rita looking with a mildly curious expression at what this girl was doing with her love. Yes her love.
Mina thinks she can break something like that. Well…I'm sure she doesn't really. In fact I'm positive. It's all a game to her which was why she got the boy she met from the airplane a invite to the party. It was their second date since they met and knowing Andrew this party was bound to be exciting.
"Andrew this party is great." I said as I stood next to him unnoticed as he was by then talking to Rita.
"Serena!" He said as he gave me a quick hug. "I didn't see you come in."
"Yeah well my entrance wasn't anything major. Don't worry! You didn't miss much."
He laughed and asked as he turned slightly toward her , "You remember Rita right?"
"Of course. Rita, how have you been since I last saw you?
"I've been okay. Still the same. I can't say the say the same for you though. You look so different."
"The whole aging process can do that to you." I said dryly. As if I care.
"Charming wit." She gave me a friendly smile as she said this and then hooked her arm through Andrew's. "Andrew lets dance."
"Okay. Serena enjoy the party and I'll see you later." He said as he smiled at me.
"Bye!" I said as I watched the two of them walk off the sidelines and into mass of limbs moving wildly to the beat of the pulsating music.
"So that's his girlfriend?" Rei asked as she walked up to me with a glass in hand.
"Yes that would be the girlfriend." I said as I took the other glass she silently offered.
"How's Mina taking the news?" She asked with a smirk as she sat down in a seat beside me. She was wearing a black dress that had red embroidery taking the shape of small dragons at the hem.
"I doubt she notices or cares." I said with a laugh. "Look at them over there."
She turned to look at where I was pointing. Mina was talking the boy she managed to invite. He had his hands on her hips and they were swaying to the music. She was quite obviously having fun as she was oblivious to the events going on around her.
"Cute little scene she has going on." She commented as she smiled slightly.
"I'll say. He's cute too." I said as I took in his high cheekbones, muscular body, and dark brown hair that matched his eyes. Beside me Rei made a sound of appriaction.
"Yeah, that's true. You can't say she doesn't have good taste."
"Stop gossiping about Mina and her friend and join the party." A commanding voice from behind us said.
As we turned around I couldn't help but smile as I said to Ami, "First of all we are not gossiping about anyone. Secondly we are joining the party. We are right in the center of it all."
"Yeah that's right. I resent the accusation. How could you think such things about us?" Rei said.
"Uh huh I'm so sure about that. Maybe I think them because I'm right. That's a good reason, don't you think?" Ami rolled her eyes as she stood there looking at us. "Your talking to each other when you should be dancing. Explain to me one more time how exactly is that being in the center of it all?"
"Rip apart my words with no mercy why don't you?" I gave her a playful shove.
"Ami's right." Rei said suddenly. "I'm in the mood for a little dancing."
"Okay, okay. Let's get this party started!" I grinned and off we went. Together.
"Yeah that's right. A party just hasn't begun unless I'm there to set it off."
"Spare us the ego trip."
"Your really lucky Serena that I'm not in a bad mood. Your treading on some dangerous ground."
"Whatever, Rei." I rolled my eyes at her words.
The party was banging and off the hook. I was dancing until I felt dead tired. I was having some cute guys asking me to dance and flirting with me like they had nothing else to do. I had them looking me up and down and stop once they caught my dangerous stare. I had them panting like they were dogs and I just didn't care.
Some were cute and others not as much. Some were polite and some were plain crude. I accepted and dismissed with my regular flair. I had my friends laughing when they saw some guys get dissed. Oops. That's dismissed thank you very much.
I was tired of dancing and this crazy scene. You really can't say Andrew doesn't know how to throw a good party. These college boys were feigning for me and I just starting to get annoyed so I walked off. I walked outside toward the back of the house to where the party spilled over near the pool and sat in a chair near the veranda.
A deep male voice said. "Hey."
"Hi." I said shortly.
"Want a drink?"
"No not really. Thanks anyway." I rolled my eyes. How many hints does this dim witted boy need?
"Want to talk?"
"No, not really. I'm a little busy."
"Really, you don't look busy to me. What's with the cold shoulder? You have a boyfriend or something?"
"Is it any of your business?" I asked him in response.
"Mark leave her alone." Another boy with a stocky build and a friendly smile came over. As he stood next to him I wondered when they would both leave. They seemed friendly enough, the first one a little too persistent and oblivious to the facts then I would prefer but overall they both seemed to be okay. I just wasn't in the mood for flirting. Can't a girl get a break?
"Why? We were just talking."
"No." I said as I flicked my eyes to the boy who was apparently named Mark and to dark hared newcomer. You were talking. I was politely ignoring. Now if you'll excuse me?" I got up, gave them both a withering stare and stalked off .
Can't I just be left alone for one second without some idiot trying to strike up a conversation? I know that this was a party but at that moment I didn't really feel like socializing. If you can't handle that then get out of my face. That's all I'm going to say. It's not my business to care about your feelings. It's your job to be man enough to face them in a way that you prefer.
I had been sitting in another seat in a secluded corner for at least a few minutes when I closed my eyes. I must have dozed off and when I woke up a while later, I found myself looking straight into the eyes of Darien, Mine widened slightly and my heart hammered in my chest for a few seconds until I shut my eyes quickly and forced myself to calm down.
"Sleeping Beauty finally wakes up." He said easily as he leaned in even closer to me.
"What are you doing here?" I said as raised myself and he slowly drew himself away from me while keeping me locked in a instance gaze. I looked back at him with a look of a detachment that I wasn't feeling at the moment.
"I was invited to this party, same as you."
"That's not what I meant and you know it." I said as I didn't spare him one of my most withering glances. A healthy green leaf would have turned crumbled and turned a antique bronze color under that look but he remained unaffected. At least on the surface that is how he appeared.
He looked back at me with a straight look on his face. Something flitted across his features for a second but I couldn't figure out what it was. In the early moonlight he looked even more handsome as he contemplated something and then said it.
"Serena what's your problem?" He asked with a furrow of his dark brow.
"What do you mean what's my problem?" I narrowed my eyes in confusion. My problem? I didn't have a problem than you very much. What was he talking about?
"You've been acting so weird." He said.
"I've been acting weird? Oh this is rich. Truly rich. Your funny. You should hear yourself sometime." I exclaimed.
"So then we're okay?" He asked me. He almost sounded hopeful and why he would sound that way I don't know. It's not like he likes me or anything….
"Darien we have never been okay. We just tolerate each other."
"I don't think so. We are at least friends right?"
"Maybe we could be friends if you would stop teasing me all the time! I'm not fourteen anymore Darien."
"I know that. You have no idea how much I realize that fact."
My eyes widened once more at his words. What did he mean by that remark? Sometimes this boy was even more confusing and hard to understand then usual. It's a wonder why I even take the time to even bother to try. "Oh really? You don't act like it."
"You want me to act like it?"
"I want for you to leave me alone! What's with everyone tonight? Can't I be left alone for one second? Or is that too much to ask for?"
"This is exactly what I was talking about."
"Excuse me?"
"What's your problem?" He repeated his earlier question with a slightly annoyed look.
I flinched under his direct gaze. "I don't have a problem that you should be concerned about. Even if I did, do you honestly think I would tell you?"
"I don't see why not."
"Ha. I hope that's some sick joke of yours."
"You don't trust me do you?"
"It doesn't matter if I trust you or not. What does that have to do with anything?"
"Everything. It's has absolutely everything to do with us."
"There is no us. There never was a us. And there will never be a us. So get it off your mind!"
"Too late." He said in a low voice just before he leaned in and kissed me gently. My eyes grew even wider at his sudden intrusion and I tried to fight him off but I couldn't, My hands were trapped under his in a vise like grip. He was a good kisser I discovered quickly with soft lips and then when he probed inside with his tough I relaxed against the onslaught of emotions. I was into this now and my hands which he had released in the heat of the passion felt moment snaked around his back. Finally after I don't know how long we stopped and I slowly opened my eyes and found him having in his eyes the same emotion I felt.
My mind was reeling from that kiss and I took a step backwards and away. I felt warm and really hot but also felt horrified by what had just occurred. This was Darien… The boy I was sworn to hate. What was the meaning of this?
"Still don't trust me?" He asked with a devilish glint in his eyes and a matching grin on his face.
"What makes you think I'm going to trust you after one kiss?" My eyes narrowed suspiciously at his words. As he took a step forward and touch my face I just barely noticed the longing held in his eyes which made me wonder about his words even more.
"Why not, was it bad?"
"No."
"Good."
"Ohh you idiot. That's not wasn't what I meant and you know it. I hate you!"
"No you don't."
"What the hell makes you so sure about what I feel?"
"Good question. Maybe the fact that your as transparent as glass and you didn't dislike the kiss. No not the kiss. You don't hate me either. You just hate your reaction."
"How dare you! You don't know me. You don't know one single. Solitary thing about me. Don't even try that. You don't have the right."
"You are so different then you were before." He mummer as he brushed a finger against my cheek. I flinched but didn't back away. I wasn't even sure that I wanted too. Surely if I did make a sudden movement to reject his touch my heart wouldn't be in it. That's exactly what I was so afraid of.
"That's nice. Thanks for telling me what I already know."
"Must you always be so hard to talk to?"
"Must you always try to talk to me? It's obvious that I don't want to talk to you."
"Oh really? I was doubting that so called fact a few seconds ago."
"I don't know what happened or why you kissed me but lets forget about it."
"I can't do that."
"Yeah? Well I can."
"No you can't."
"I've told you before and I guess I'll tell you again, you don't know me. Don't presume to think what I will and will not do. You don't know me and you don't understand me. It's pointless to try."
"It's not pointless because I want to get to know you. I want you trust me and I don't even know why you won't. What have I ever done to you really?"
"You want to know why I don't trust you?"
"Yeah I do."
"It's statements like that, that make me doubt you even more."
"Why? It's the truth."
"No Darien, it's not. I don't know what to call it but it's not. You never wanted to get to know me before so why the sudden interest now? You can't possibly like me. You never have and never will so don't even try to give me that old line."
"It's not a sudden interest. What's it going to take to let you know that if I said those words, it wouldn't be some line but something that I really feel for you?"
"I find that very hard to believe."
"Well believe it. I've always wanted to get to know you."
"I really don't trust you. Just leave me alone." I turned away and walked quickly to the main point of the party with him following close behind.
"Serena- Serena- Serena- please wait!"
"Why?" I asked as I whirled around to face him.
"I'm trying to tell you something."
"I don't want to hear it!"
"And why is that? What are you so afraid of?"
"I'm not afraid of a single thing! Just do as I say and leave me alone. What are you deaf? Just do it!" I exclaimed in frustration as I ran off toward the double doors and quickly went through them leaving him behind.
I couldn't believe what had just occurred. What Darien had almost said. What he would have said if I hadn't cut him off so abruptly. I just wanted to get away. I liked him but I had to get away from him at the same time. A part of me wanted to hear those words and then another even bigger part of me didn't want to hear it and then get hurt. Nothing he said could erase what I went through with him a few years back. I honestly didn't think so. If he liked me as much as he seemed to say then why did he always persist in making my life misribable?
No. I thought with a sudden determination. He didn't like me. Whatever had occurred between the two of us was nothing at all. Whatever had possessed the two of us to share that blinding emotion felt kiss had left. This was over. I may like him but until he apologized to me I wasn't going to hear a word that he uttered out of that mouth of his. That handsome, soft mouth of his to be sure but still…
"This whole scenario of you teasing me about basically everything about me isn't as cute as it once was. It never was cute but you could never see that can you?"
"Serena-"
"No. Listen to me. It was never funny although you seemed to think it was hysterical. You hurt me a lot back then and you thought it was funny." I got up and started walking away.
"I'm sorry." He called out to my receding back.
"See," I rolled my eyes and looked back, "Sorry doesn't quite cut it." Suddenly I was mad and didn't care if he knew it or not. "Listen to me carefully. You hurt me. I can't forgive that. You took me when I was at my most vulnerable about everything in my life and turned it into this hysterical joke. It was toward your benefit and my destruction. How can I forgive that? Tell me."
When he opened his mouth to speak I raised my hand in dismissal. I didn't even want to hear it. "You know what? Don't. Don't bother. I've got to go." I said looking up at him. I pushed a strand of hair away from my face and turned to leave once more.
"Wait! Please Serena I-."
"You what?" I said turning around with impatience. "Wait let me guess! You've just realized what a huge mistake you've just made? Is that it?"
"No actually I don't think it was a mistake at all." He said steadily.
"Oh really?" I said doubtfully , "And why is that?"
"You don't get it do you?" He asked
"Obviously not. You tell me."
"Okay, I-"
"Serena!" Suddenly we were interrupted by another voice. "I'm so glad I found you! You have got to come with me."
"What's going on?" I asked in a confused tone.
"Come on!"
"On second thought. Tell me later." I gave him a kiss on the cheek before I knew what I was doing and she all but pulled me away from Darien. I left him standing there bathed in the moonlight as I dashed further and further away. I was escaping. It was liberation. I was afraid of what I felt…