Disclaimer—Don't Be Zany! Of course I don't own it! *hint: The thing I don't own can be found in the first sentence. GOOD LUCK!
A/N—MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thought it was dead, didn't you?! Heh, well, to be honest, so did I. Then I sat down and started to write the sequel, and I thought to myself, 'No one is going to have a CLUE as to what this is about if they didn't read the first one!' Sooooo I'm starting off here again! *whispers* Besides, I'll never be able to beat Burenda's reviews if I start off from scratch! ^_^*
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Bardock stared uncomfortably at the boy at his feet. They'd been standing there in the yard for a good ten minutes, and the child was still weeping and wailing something about Angel Goku, and Devil Vegeta, all the while muttering a slew of imprecations of which he could only catch a few. He thought it sounded something like 'blast that stupid psychiatrist to the next dimension,' but he couldn't be sure.
Glancing a bit hopefully towards King Vegeta, Bardock sighed. The man was polishing his pitchfork, whistling innocently, and looking anywhere but Bardock. No help from that quarter. Kneeling next to the teen, Bardock cleared his throat and grunted, "Knock it off. We're here to see Kakarott and Prince Vegeta, we're not these…Angel and Devil things you keep mumbling about."
Gohan looked up from his hysterical fit to see a man bending over him. The man looked just like his father, save for a rather obvious scar running across one cheek. He wore a long, white gown, and had a halo floating over his head, and feathery wings pushing out of his shoulder blades. Hovering gently in front of him was a golden harp, which the man kept pushing out of his line of vision with a grunt of annoyance. Each time he shoved it aside, the harp glowed a little sadly, then floated right back. That was one persistent harp.
Slowly pulling himself to his knees, Gohan took a steadying breath and sniffled, "You're…not Angel Goku?"
Bardock's face took on a look of annoyance. Were all the creatures on this planet mentally deficient, or just those of his lineage? It was more than a bit humiliating. "No, I'm not…Angel Goku, whatever that is. My name is Bardock and I'm here seeking my son, Kakarott. You would be my grandson, Gohan, am I correct?"
At this, Gohan blinked, a bit dazed. His grandfather?! Shaking his head, Gohan pointed to the pointy-tailed man, who was a perfect clone of Prince Vegeta, save for the horns and the goatee, which rather completed the evil look. "And he's…"
"Oh, that's just Vegeta," Bardock replied, casually. King Vegeta sighed once again at the informal manner, but let it go. After all, the man had gotten Yemma to let him out of hell, and had spent the past thirty years playing his guardian as part of the deal. He owed him that much. And besides, that was just Bardock for you.
Slowly, as if the sun were dawning on a day previously gray with clouds, a smile grew over Gohan's face. Bardock and King Vegeta looked on in astonishment at the transformation as the boy grew from timid and weeping, to wicked, his eyes barely containing their malevolent glee.
Gohan stood, and cleared his throat, gesturing towards the waiting Gravity Room where Vegeta, Videl and the Mirai Trunks' still sparred. "Right this way, Grandfather, King Vegeta," Gohan said with a smile.
In truth, Gohan couldn't have been happier. It had taken a long time for him to recover from that horrible day, and it was only with the help of Videl, and his family that he had pulled through without blowing anything up. His Inner Krillin still haunted him occasionally, popping out at unexpected moments to torment him about Videl. But that wasn't it. He wasn't relapsing—no, the two before him weren't Devil Vegeta and Angel Goku—they were just his grandfather and the King of a long dead planet, who were incidentally, long dead themselves, come to visit. That was fine. That he could handle.
Aside from the happiness he gained from knowing that he wouldn't have to explain any mauled psychiatrists to his father, Gohan felt a different sort of joy. It was the floating, jittery, glee of knowing that he wasn't the sole target of the sick and twisted pranks of the gods.
Somehow, Bardock and King Vegeta had ended up here, and Gohan had a feeling that his father Goku, and the Prince of All Saiyans, were in for one heck of an interesting day.
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Somewhere in the timeless realm of Otherworld, the Supreme Kai chuckled to himself. He sure liked how that boy thought! Although it was quite true that he would have sent Bardock and King Vegeta back solely for his own amusement, this time there was a darker purpose at stake.
Stalking the dimensions, the being known as Evil Mirai Gohan had been freed to roam the timelines on the caprice of a junior Kami by the name of Dende. Though normally the Supreme Kai would have enjoyed, and even encouraged the younger God's mischief, there was more on the line this time.
Unknown to the Z-senshi, they were about to face their greatest battle yet: and it all lay in the hands of Bardock, King Vegeta, and a being not even known as of yet. A being by the name of Gotenks.
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In the kitchen at Capsule Corporation, the table was literally littered with wedding invitations. Goku was sitting to one side eating a huge sandwich, while Chi-Chi, who had somehow roped Bulma into the mess, chatted gaily with her partner in crime, plotting the demise of her eldest son. Well, not demise, exactly—WORSE. Much worse. She was plotting his….marriage.
"And I think I can get it going…YES!" Bulma yelped in triumph.
Bulma's moment of glory was interrupted by a loud BANG as Goku once again dropped a glob of mayonnaise onto one of the wedding invitations that Chi-Chi and Bulma were filling out.
Chi-Chi ignored Goku's hurt expression and calmly put away her frying pan, reaching for a napkin to wipe off the goo. "Sorry Bulma, what was that you said again?"
Bulma looked just the tiniest bit annoyed that the announcement of her genius had gone unheard the first time, but she shrugged and repeated herself. "I've done it! You know how I've been working on perfecting that machine that replicates Goku's Instant Transmission technique? Well, I've completed it! We can test it out by using it to send out Videl and Gohan's wedding invitations!"
At this, even Goku looked interested, opening his mouth to ask a question, "GEE Bulmashhh, howzhit—" Goku was quickly cut off by another blow to the head as the pictures and invitations covering the table received another thin coating of mayonnaise.
Absently returning her frying pan to the dimensional pocket she kept handy for such occasions, Chi-Chi looked at Bulma doubtfully, "But, what if it doesn't work? I don't want my baby's invitations to get lost in … well, somewhere!"
Bulma nodded, and slyly replied, "Well, I understand if you don't want to take that chance, Chi-Chi, but you KNOW, we could hold the wedding a lot sooner if the invitations were delivered this way…in fact I bet with my help, we could get things together and have them married by the end of the week!"
All sense left Chi-Chi's eyes, and little birds carrying banners that spelled out the word 'GRANDCHILDREN' began fluttering happily about her head. After several seconds of joyous rapture, Chi-Chi snapped out of her little daydream, and the birds disappeared with a pop, much to the dismay of Goku, who had been trying to catch one. "LET'S DO IT!"
Chi-Chi's roar scared the daylights out of the two demi-saiyans who had been hiding under the table the whole time, figuring it was the last place Gohan would look for them. Chibi Trunks and Goten rolled out with a squeak of fear, to confront the surprised looks of their mothers and Goku.
Chi-Chi's eyes narrowed, and even sitting she managed to look scary enough to destroy the Roman Legions with a glance, "And just what are you two doing under there?!"
Goten gulped, and became teary eyed, "Mama, it was HORRIBLE! Brother said he'd feed us…." A look of true horror came over the child's face, "sugar."
Goku's expression was amused. The two were unholy terrors on sugar, and had managed to earn themselves several days straight of being beaten to a pulp in the Gravity Room by him and Vegeta before the stuff had finally worn off the last time they'd eaten it. Goku never wanted to hear the name of another Pokemon again. It was their favorite show, and when the two got hyper, they tended to confuse fantasy with reality.
It was a trait that seemed common to demi-saiyans, Goku mused, thinking on his son, Gohan's, problems. Luckily, in Gohan's case, there were medications for those sorts of things. Goku vaguely remembered the school counselors trying to diagnose Chibi Trunks and Goten with something called 'Attention Deficit Disorder' and prescribe a drug called 'Ritalin,' but the boys had had an adverse reaction to the stuff, and Goten had been convinced for three days straight that he was a pencil. Goku still recalled with a bit of amusement his youngest son's horrified screams when he had learned of Gohan's friend named Sharpener.
Goku chuckled aloud, earning a curious look from Bulma, and an annoyed look from Chi-Chi. The two chibi's just looked hopefully at him for rescue.
Shaking his head, Goku grinned, "Why did Gohan threaten to feed you sugar?"
Goten looked slightly guilty, and Chibi Trunks' face contorted as he struggled to think up a good lie. As his mind darted frantically from excuse to excuse, he caught sight of the pictures littering the table, and the half filled out wedding invitations that accompanied them. Eyes widening, Chibi Trunks gulped, "Uhh, Ms. Chi-Chi?" he questioned politely.
Chi-Chi glared in suspicion at the tone. Trunks was up to something. "What is it, Trunks?"
"Uhh," Trunks looked like he was about to cry. Where had she gotten that picture? Gohan was going to tie them down and shove sugar down their throats for sure, now! "W-where did you find that picture?"
"Huh?" Chi-Chi was surprised at the question, and glanced absently down at the pile of pictures before her. Picking one up, she held it next to her face and smiled sappily, "Isn't it so SWEET?! Your mom and I are filling out invitations to Gohan and Videl's wedding," Chi-Chi nodded at Bulma, who was busily sticking the finished invitations into her invention and setting the coordinates. "They'll be married before the week is out!"
A look of horror grew on Chibi Trunks' face as he saw his mother stick another finished invitation into the contraption after it had emptied of the last one. With a whimpering cry, Trunks tackled the machine just as Bulma sent off the invitation, trying to prevent its delivery. Unfortunately for Trunks, all he did was knock the machine out of whack, sending the invitation askew, destination unknown.
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Evil Mirai Gohan sat sullenly in his time machine. Nothing to do, nothing to do, nothing to do. Gohan missed Frieza. While not the smartest of his hounds, Frieza had been amusing. He was good at fetch, and even better at dinner. Frieza had made a mean Fettuccini Alfredo!
M. Gohan sighed. All he had left now was Cell, who was eager, but not too bright, and Buu, who though powerful, had all of those ridiculous Ginyu force moves he practiced day and night. M. Gohan was bored. It just wasn't a challenge anymore—wrecking universes. He wanted something—more.
As if in answer to his boredom, a thin white envelop appeared suddenly, with a slight whoosh of displaced air. Mirai Gohan blinked, and reached out to pluck the envelop from the space before him, before it could fall to the ground. Opening it, he read:
Dear Krillin, #18, & Marron:
You are cordially invited to the wedding of Son Gohan, and Satan Videl. The ceremony will be held one week from this time in the gardens of Capsule Corporation. Attire is formal, please bring a gift for the happy couple to the reception, which will occur directly afterwards.
Day: May 14, 789
Hour: 12 noon
Location: Capsule Corporation
Directions: If you don't know how to get here by now, you need to figure it out, guys!
P.S.-We've included a picture of the happy couple. Aren't they sweet?!!
Love, the Mother of the Groom,
Son Chi-Chi
Evil Mirai Gohan glanced down at his lap where the invitation had fluttered and picked up the picture. It was a rather sweet pose of Gohan and Videl laying in the grass together, eyes shut, resting in each other's arms.
With a slow smile, M. Gohan folded the picture and stuck it in his jacket. Taking a sip of wine from a nearby goblet, a slow smile spread across his face. "Well, well, well," he murmured to himself, grin growing in intensity, "It would be rude of me not to come—seeing as how I am invited…..MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
The insane laughter echoed loudly down the chill stone corridors of Evil Mirai Gohan's castle. So frightening, so chilling, so horrifying was the laugh that even Buu cringed in fear. Buu might have been strong, but Gohan was just plain nuts.
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"Umm, 18? Do you think there's a reason they sent Oolong and Master Roshi's invitation before ours?"
18 glanced drily at her husband, "Calm down, Krillin. I'm sure it's on its way."
Krillin chuckled a bit, and shook his head, "Yeah, I'm sure you're right, 18! I mean, Goku's my best friend, and I've known Gohan since he was a little kid! There's no way they'd forget to invite us!"
Secure in that thought, Krillin sat down beside his wife to await his invitation. A WEDDING! What a great opportunity to tease Gohan.
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Vegeta grunted as the door to the gravity room swung open, and turned to confront Gohan standing in the doorway. "What is it, brat? You're late—if you keep slacking in your training, your little girlfriend's going to surpass you in strength."
Gohan glared at Vegeta as the man gestured to Videl, sparring with the weaker of the two Mirai Trunks'. They both knew it wasn't true; Vegeta was just trying to irk him. Well, not this time. Stepping silently out of the way, Gohan smirked as Bardock came into view. It was time to sit back, and watch the fireworks.
Vegeta scowled, a bit confused and disappointed that Gohan hadn't risen to the bait. Well, that is, until he'd caught sight of what was behind him. Unable to contain himself, Vegeta uttered a derisive laugh, before snapping his mouth shut and quickly regaining his composure. "Nice outfit Kakarott. Did you rob a costume store or something?"
Bardock raised an eyebrow in reply. This was the somber little prince he remembered from all those years ago? Bardock was about to speak, when the amused Prince cut in again, "Honestly Kakarott, a harp? You should know better—your voice makes the woman's sound good."
Bardock scowled as he was reminded of his floating companion instrument and shoved the thing to the side once more. "My name is not Kakarott. Perhaps you don't remember me, though I remember you. I seem to recall a certain four-year-old prince ruining his father's armor, and begging me not to tell him. Are you sure you still don't remember me? Veggie-chan?"
The last was said with a sly, irreverent smile that had never seen the light of day on Goku's face. Really and truly flummoxed, the younger Vegeta stared in astonishment at the man before him, "Bardock?!"
The rest of the room's occupants, which included the two Mirai's, Gohan and Videl, looked on with varying degrees of confusion and amusement as another figure stepped out from behind Bardock. "That was you Vegeta? I always wondered who ruined that armor."
It was with no little glee that Gohan watched the emotions that flashed across the startled Prince's face. The two Mirai's managed to catch Vegeta he stumbled backwards, tripping over his own feet.
Simultaneously, they exclaimed, "Dad, are you ok?"
"Dad?" King Vegeta's voice now held an amount of shock at least equivalent to the Prince's. "Vegeta, what is this? These are your offspring? I think you've got some explaining to do, son."
Wordlessly, the poor prince nodded in agreement.
An evil snicker escaped from Gohan in the background. Torture was rather fun when you weren't on the receiving end.
***Not as full of funnies as some of the last, but hey, I'm setting some stuff up here! R&R please!***
*Advertizing*
Chronological Chaos by Proteus: Time travel—who doesn't love it? Well, when a teenage Goten and Trunks accidentally end up in a time just before the arrival of the Saiyans, I think you can guess just how chaotic things will get. Throw in Goku and Vegeta, and plenty of good writing, and you've got chronological chaos!
What if… by PurePsychicEspeon: Gohan ends up in the Mirai timeline right after Mirai Gohan dies. What's worse, he's been pursued there by an evil from his own universe. Can he keep his identity a secret, and preserve his own timeline as he tries to help the young Mirai Trunks cope with his mentor Mirai Gohan's death? Everyone's after him—watch out Gohan! This isn't a comedy, but just about any story you read by this girl is guaranteed to be good, so read it anyway!
Goteneo and Truliet by Burenda: Hilarious piece where Trunks is forced to play Juliet in the school play when the lead actress gets sick. Only one problem. Guess who's playing Romeo? (I advertised this once in one of my short stories, but since I deleted it, I figure it's fair game to advertise again!)