Disclaimer--Eye dont owne draginbalz.
A/N--*bows repeatedly* Sorry for the lateness of this! I'm just...blah. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter ^_^ Oh, and a big thanks to Burenda. She's practically King Kai's disciple I tell you, and she provided his...unique bit of humor.
_________________________
Piccolo looked down at the note in horror. He'd recognize that handwriting anywhere. Everytime he'd given Gohan a break in his training, Chichi had been right there, shoving the books under his nose, reminding him that if he wanted to be a scholar, he had better finish his homework. Gohan had, of course, complied; not due to any desire to be a scholar, or even the fact that he wished to please his mother. Gohan had complied because Chichi was just plain scary, a well known fact among the small Saiyan community of earth. Looking down at the note he held, Piccolo saw that his prediction, somewhere, in some universe, had come true. Gohan had broken under the stress.
Dearest Popo--*giggle*
Popopopopopopopopopo. Such a silly name. Well, aaaaaanyway, just dropping you a note to let you know I've kidnapped that low-down back-stabbing sotten excuse for a god Dende, and if you want him back, I want YOU to bring me Videl. She was MY wife, MINE. Why did they all turn against me Popo? Just because I chibified everyone, hmph. Well, they deserved it. Bring me Videl, Popo, or Dende'll end up in so many pieces he'll spend the next ten years trying to regenerate. Piccolo will know where to find me. Ask Piccolo. My only friend. Hi Piccolo!
Signed Sincerely, Gohan the Great, Almighty Ruler of the Universe, and Half of the Heavens (Ok, I made that last part up, but it sounds good, doesn't it Mr. Piccolo? Don't you think?)
Mr. Popo turned a pained look on Piccolo as he finished reading the letter, "Isn't he a bit..."
"Yes." Piccolo nodded sadly, "Cracked like a nut."
______________________
"So, Bardock. What do you think we should do next?" King Vegeta sat on the couch with an annoyed expression on his face. They'd been left here alone for more than an hour, and this wasn't particularly how he wanted to spend his free day on earth.
Bardock shrugged and looked up at the stairs, hoping to see his son or Prince Vegeta. On the floor Chibi Marron sat happily, playing with her frying pan after swearing a solemn vow to bash no more tails with it. Chibi Trunks and Goten had disappeared some time ago, the panic this would usually have caused not evidencing for the simple fact that Bardock and King Vegeta had no idea just how evil their grandchildren were.
Taking another hopeful glance at the stairway, Bardock was surprised to see something slithering along the floor. Getting carefully to his feet, he inched closer to see Prince Vegeta crawling in guerrilla fashion, arguing vehemently with someone beside him, "Shut up Kakarot, they'll hear you!"
"But Vegeta," the second voice replied, "Chichi's always like this. I really think you're over-reacting with this whole cult thing."
"Then what," the prince growled, "Has happened to the onna? She's gone insane! If it's not this cult thing, then it's obviously YOUR MATE! She's a bad influence--"
"Will you BOTH shut up?" snapped a voice from the rear. Gohan was crouched on his hands and knees behind the older saiyans and his voice was tight with annoyance, "Does it really matter WHY? If you two would just shut up and stop arguing--"
Two indignant voices cut him off.
"Now Gohan--"
"HOW DARE YOU BRAT--"
"JUST SHUT THE &$^# UP WOULD YOU?!" This last, inevitable outburst from Gohan was so loud, it would have taken a miracle for the women to miss it. Fortunately, with Dende temporarily out of commission, miracles were allowed to happen.
As the three Saiyans on the stairs, and the two Saiyans and half cyborg in the living room held their breath, not a peep was heard from the upstairs rooms that contained the women.
Goku, Gohan and Prince Vegeta let out a sigh of relief. Somehow, inexplicably, they had missed it. Unfortunately even a miracle couldn't conceal the piercing scream that followed. Wide-eyed, Goku, Gohan and the prince followed Bardock and King Vegeta into the kitchen to see the source of the scream lying writhing on the floor, still emitting helpless little mewls of distress.
"Goten!" Goku rushed to his son and picked up the shuddering boy. "What happened?" He demanded, piercing the shell shocked Chibi Trunks with a stare.
Trunks dazedly shook his head. "I...I told him not to...." with a little gulp he continued, " Goten...he ate...IT."
Prince Vegeta's eyes widened, "IT?!"
Chibi Trunks nodded fearfully, "We were looking for something to eat, and...and I was telling him about IT, and he said he could probably eat IT and live."
"Whoa," Gohan butt in, "Just what is IT?"
Chibi Trunks and Prince Vegeta looked at each other, and the prince nodded slowly. "IT," he explained, "is something so awful, so terrible, that IT was hidden in the back of the refrigerator and forgotten, many years ago. IT is a threat to Saiyans and humans alike, IT is the most terrible thing imaginable--"
"IT is this fruitcake mom made a few years ago," Chibi Trunks explained. "We hid IT back there because the garbage men weren't willing to take IT."
"Oh," Goku nodded understandingly, "So that's why we had chinese takeout for dinner that one Christmas...but...that smell--you said you were fumigating the house!"
Chibi Trunks smiled queasily, "It wasn't a lie. We haven't had so much as an ant since then."
At this point, Goten stirred in Goku's arms and cracked open one eye, "I ate IT, Trunks!" he croaked triumphantly.
Chibi Trunks eyes filled with tears, "You baka! You could have been killed- -wait!" Chibi Trunks' eyes widened in awe, "Goten, you can talk!"
Gohan, observing from the sidelines nodded wisely, "I guess even a wish granted by the eternal dragon couldn't suppress that kind of horror. And that first scream...it must have let it all loose."
Bardock opened his mouth, about to comment, but he was shoved roughly aside as Chichi barrelled into the kitchen, "What's going on here?! Goten, my poor baby, what have they done to you?!"
Chibi Trunks quickly sat down on the fuzzy mold-covered dish that had contained IT, effectively hiding it from view as Bulma and Videl pushed their way into the room, followed closely by 18, the Trunks', and Krillin who was blinking sleepily, still a bit dazed.
Bulma's brow furrowed suspiciously and she sniffed the air, scenting her prey in the trembling, nervous glare of her mate. "What have you been up to? Why does the kitchen smell like....mothballs?"
Goten coughed and fought back a gag. He'd known that IT had tasted familiar somehow.
Both older Trunks' eyes widened and Mirai Trunks looked at Super Trunks and nodded. They remembered IT too.
Opening her mouth to comment furthur, Bulma was cut off by a voice inside of her head, "Ahh, it's a good thing you're all gathered together there!"
At the sound of the voice, Gohan's eyes widened and he emitted a tiny whimper, "Voices..."
"Don't worry Gohan, I'm real. This is King Kai here. I'm calling long distance, and these rates are KILLING me...," a muffled giggle, "Maybe I should call collect." Another snicker. "Get it? Long distance? Rates? Call collect? Bwahahahaha!!!"
"Unless you want me to 'call collect' on your LIFE FORCE, I'd suggest you get on with it!" Prince Vegeta snapped in annoyance
King Kai snickered, "Oh, that's good. Call collect on my life force... anyway, I'm just calling you folks on behalf of Piccolo, since he's the acting Kami of earth."
Goten's brow furrowed and he exclaimed, "Huh? Why's Mr. Piccolo Kami? I thought Dende-sama was Kami! What happened to Dende-sama?"
A stunned silence filled the room, and every head save Goten, who was too weak, and Bardock and King Vegeta who had not yet been apprised of the situation, swiveled to stare suspiciously at Gohan.
"Huh? Don't look at me, I didn't do it!" Gohan yelped defensively.
King Kai chuckled, "Well, actually Gohan, in a sense, you did, just not the you that you know, the you that Mirai Trunks knows."
Everyone save Mirai Trunks stared blankly at the ceiling. "Umm, King Kai," Goku put in hesitantly, "That didn't really make much sense--"
"He's here," Mirai Trunks whispered, dread coating his voice with an icy white pallor.
"Who? Who's here?" Super Trunks demanded, shaking his terrified counterpart hard enough to rattle his teeth.
"You're right, Trunks," King Kai replied, three heads lifted at the sound of their name, and King Kai continued, "Evil Mirai Gohan has returned to this universe."
There was a moment of stunned silence, and then a loud thump, as with little a groan, Gohan flopped to the floor and banged his head against the linoleum. "Great. Just GREAT!"
_______________________
Erasa walked from the Buildanose Clinic, "Tailless Like Satan" sticker perched proudly on the left side of her chest. Glancing at her companion, she wrinkled her nose, "Shaaarpie! Why didn't you get that thing removed? It's....weird. And you heard what Mr. Satan said!"
Sharpener nodded and toyed with the tip of his limp blonde tail. He'd never admit it, but he actually kind of liked the thing. He'd always wanted a tail. "I already told you babe, they didn't have anymore slots open today. I made an appointment for day after tomorrow."
Erasa nodded guiltily. It wasn't Sharpener's fault he was stuck with that thing. In fact, though she'd never admit it, she actually thought it was kinda cute.
As the vacuous duo walked unknowingly down the street, and into danger, Mirai Gohan stood cursing on a nearby street corner.
_______________________
"Damn stupid piece of &$^% CRAP!" He shouted, giving the recalcitrant time machine one last kick. In the back, Dende snored drunkenly away, oblivious to the fact that Gohan planned on making God-shishkabob out of him.
Inside of the cabin, watching over Dende, Mirai Cell plotted. *Is now the time to make my move? I am the perfect being...and once I absorb the Maste- -NO! Gohan, the BRAT, once I absorb Gohan and that fool Buu, I will be the....well, the MORE Perfect Cell!!!!! MUAUAHAHAHAHAHA........*
Mirai Cell's internal laughter trailed off as he stalked cautiously towards the door of the time machine. Mirai Gohan stood with his back turned, cursing colorfully in several different languages, kicking the fender of the time machine hard enough to leave a dent.
With a small smirk of evil pleasure, Mirai Cell crept up behind Mirai Gohan, his lips twisting into a triumphant snarl. Raising his tail high into the air, Mirai Cell whipped the appendage down with unerring accuracy, the singing whine of displaced air a victorious anthem proclaiming his victory, when....
"GOOOOOHAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!"
Mirai Cell scowled and slipped quickly back into the shadows as the blondes nuisiances approached Mirai Gohan. They may have interrupted his plans, but not for long. Mirai Gohan's days were numbered. Mirai Cell would once again be the strongest being in the universe!
_______________________
Evil Mirai Gohan looked up in horror as he heard his name called. It couldn't be. There was no way that they could exist in this universe too-- it was impossible....seeing the grinning Erasa and Sharpener jogging towards him, Mirai Gohan concluded that it WAS possible. He also concluded that King Kai, or whoever had arranged for this had a very twisted sense of humor.
Glaring darkly at the approaching duo, Mirai Gohan considered blasting them. He recalled fondly the day he had shipped Sharpener off the planet Yresim. It was a tiny ice planet in the same solar system as Yardreb. He'd needed someone to man the outpost there and his good old buddy was perfect for the job. The average daily high topped out at -43 degrees Farenheit, and there were a total of 13 hours of sunlight in the entire year, which was roughly approximate to 400 earth days. Gohan thought it was an appropriate posting for Shapener. Last he'd heard, the post had been running low on everything from matches to rubber duckies. Gohan hadn't bothered to send a supply shipment.
Erasa was another story. Somehow she'd managed to become the leader of the human resistance force fighting against his rule. Mirai Gohan scowled at the bubbly airhead before him. How carefully she managed to hide her brain under those blonde masses.
Forcing a smile to his face, Mirai Gohan greeted the duo cheerfully, "Sharpener, buddy! Erasa, how are you?"
Sharpener's grin was huge, "Dude! You already got your tail removed," he exclaimed pointing to Mirai Gohan's behind, "Why didn't we see you there?"
Thinking quick, Mirai Gohan replied, "Oh, I went early." He had no idea what his 'friends' were talking about, but he HAD noticed the odd fact that this Sharpener touted a greasy blonde tail, slightly bent in the middle.
"Say," Mirai Gohan inquired innocently, a wonderful plan leaping to mind, "How would you two like to take a ride with me in my new...er...car?"
Erasa's eyes lit with wonder, "You...you mean it Gohan?!" she squealed ecstatically.
Sharpener leapt into the cabin, with Erasa close behind. Mirai Gohan winced as Erasa groped him in passing, seemingly out of instinct, and exerted all of his willpower, focusing on NOT destroying them. YET.
Giving the fender one last kick as Buu finally got it running, Evil Mirai Gohan smirked in delight at the girlish scream that emitted from the cabin. From the pitch and the terror the scream held, he guessed that Sharpener had met Mirai Cell.
Climbing into the contraption, Mirai Gohan smirked. His present self might not go to any trouble to rescue Dende, but there was no way that Mr. Goody- Two-Shoes would let Sharpener and Erasa suffer. Videl was as good as his....
______________________
Gohan kept his eyes fixed straight ahead of him, trying to ignore Videl's twitching tail as she flew beside him towards the lookout.
King Kai had insisted that they all adjourn to the lookout immediately, and had refused to clue them in on what was happening.
Bardock and King Vegeta flew side by side, discussing King Kai's words in hushed voices, and Prince Vegeta flew next to them with Bulma in his arms, casting Chichi and Goku wary and pissed-off looks, respectively.
The three Trunks' flew together, giving the impression of an odd purple blur against the clouds, while 18 half supported Krillin, who seemed to be arguing with himself, and carried Marron in one arm.
Beside his parents, Goten, still a bit queasy from his ordeal, had opted to ride Flying Nimbus, and the cloud, with some inherent sense of mischief, turned crazed loop-de-loops, rendering the poor boy a rather lovely shade of green.
Finally landing on Kami's lookout, the group was confronted with the morose faces of Piccolo and Mr. Popo. Tight lipped, Piccolo held the note Evil Mirai Gohan had delivered out for Goku to read.
Vegeta watched Goku puzzle out the letter for several long seconds before snatching it from his hands, and reading it aloud with an exasperated glare at his rival.
"Dearest Popo," With a sarcastic look, Vegeta added the silly giggle, face contorting into an expression of pained disgust. As the letter drew to a close, he finished mockingly, "Signed Sincerely, Gohan the Great, Almighty Ruler of the Universe, and Half of the Heavens (Ok, I made that last part up, but it sounds good, doesn't it Mr. Piccolo? Don't you think?)" Rolling his eyes ironically at the Gohan standing before him, he stated dryly, "No. It doesn't."
Gohan wrenched his eyes from the appendage twitching so bewitchingly from Videl's backside, and yanked his hand guiltily back from where it had been headed. "Huh?"
Vegeta smirked, "Forget it brat. Continue with what you were doing."
"What?" Videl glared suspiciously at Gohan, "And just what was he doing?"
Vegeta grinned evilly, "Well it looked to me like he was about to grab your a--"
"Dende's been godnapped!" Gohan yelped, "Isn't it terrible? We really need to do something...heh...." Gohan smiled weakly at Videl's angry glare and Chichi's ecstatic sigh.
Piccolo nodded seriously, "Yes, that is the subject at hand, the question is, what are we going to do about it?"
Gohan sighed in relief at the change of subject and wandered over to where Goten still perched queasily on Flying Nimbus. Sitting on the edge of the cloud, he wracked his brain. On the cusp of a brilliant idea, Gohan was yanked back to earth by the seductive allure of Videl's tail as it twitched in agitation at the long silence. It was beautiful...*So supple, so sleek, so....*
"AHHHHHHHH!" Gohan hit the ground with a hard thump and stared angrily up at Flying Nimbus. "What was that for?" He demanded glaring at the golden mass that still held Goten perched safely above the ground.
Nimbus winked an innocent golden color, and Goku came up behind his son and put a hand on his shoulder, "Having impure thoughts, Gohan?" He whispered with a little smirk.
Nimbus seemed to quiver with suppressed laughter, and Gohan shot it an embarassed glare. That cloud was really beginning to get on his nerves.
"Nevermind that," Piccolo growled, saving his old student from any more embarrassment. "It's time for us to go meet this Mirai Gohan and figure out just what it is he wants."
"So the note was right," Vegeta growled, "The Namek knows where the brat is hiding."
Piccolo stood silent for a moment, an expression of immense dignity gracing his features, then, looking Vegeta straight in the eye, one antenna twitching in annoyance, growled, "Not a clue."
***Hope you liked it. This chapter was dragged out with the assistance of the jaws of life. I'd like to thank everyone on the emergency rescue crew for helping to release this chapter--arigato! Thanks to those of you who emailed me--you really cheered me up!***
Advertising--Read something by Sparrow319. She's a really good author! Oh, and Chibi Vegeta by Burenda. Very funny--think of all the horrible ways a chibified Vegeta could be tortured and throw them into one story! Vegeta deserves it--he was mean to Trunks! *sniff*...
A/N--*bows repeatedly* Sorry for the lateness of this! I'm just...blah. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter ^_^ Oh, and a big thanks to Burenda. She's practically King Kai's disciple I tell you, and she provided his...unique bit of humor.
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Piccolo looked down at the note in horror. He'd recognize that handwriting anywhere. Everytime he'd given Gohan a break in his training, Chichi had been right there, shoving the books under his nose, reminding him that if he wanted to be a scholar, he had better finish his homework. Gohan had, of course, complied; not due to any desire to be a scholar, or even the fact that he wished to please his mother. Gohan had complied because Chichi was just plain scary, a well known fact among the small Saiyan community of earth. Looking down at the note he held, Piccolo saw that his prediction, somewhere, in some universe, had come true. Gohan had broken under the stress.
Dearest Popo--*giggle*
Popopopopopopopopopo. Such a silly name. Well, aaaaaanyway, just dropping you a note to let you know I've kidnapped that low-down back-stabbing sotten excuse for a god Dende, and if you want him back, I want YOU to bring me Videl. She was MY wife, MINE. Why did they all turn against me Popo? Just because I chibified everyone, hmph. Well, they deserved it. Bring me Videl, Popo, or Dende'll end up in so many pieces he'll spend the next ten years trying to regenerate. Piccolo will know where to find me. Ask Piccolo. My only friend. Hi Piccolo!
Signed Sincerely, Gohan the Great, Almighty Ruler of the Universe, and Half of the Heavens (Ok, I made that last part up, but it sounds good, doesn't it Mr. Piccolo? Don't you think?)
Mr. Popo turned a pained look on Piccolo as he finished reading the letter, "Isn't he a bit..."
"Yes." Piccolo nodded sadly, "Cracked like a nut."
______________________
"So, Bardock. What do you think we should do next?" King Vegeta sat on the couch with an annoyed expression on his face. They'd been left here alone for more than an hour, and this wasn't particularly how he wanted to spend his free day on earth.
Bardock shrugged and looked up at the stairs, hoping to see his son or Prince Vegeta. On the floor Chibi Marron sat happily, playing with her frying pan after swearing a solemn vow to bash no more tails with it. Chibi Trunks and Goten had disappeared some time ago, the panic this would usually have caused not evidencing for the simple fact that Bardock and King Vegeta had no idea just how evil their grandchildren were.
Taking another hopeful glance at the stairway, Bardock was surprised to see something slithering along the floor. Getting carefully to his feet, he inched closer to see Prince Vegeta crawling in guerrilla fashion, arguing vehemently with someone beside him, "Shut up Kakarot, they'll hear you!"
"But Vegeta," the second voice replied, "Chichi's always like this. I really think you're over-reacting with this whole cult thing."
"Then what," the prince growled, "Has happened to the onna? She's gone insane! If it's not this cult thing, then it's obviously YOUR MATE! She's a bad influence--"
"Will you BOTH shut up?" snapped a voice from the rear. Gohan was crouched on his hands and knees behind the older saiyans and his voice was tight with annoyance, "Does it really matter WHY? If you two would just shut up and stop arguing--"
Two indignant voices cut him off.
"Now Gohan--"
"HOW DARE YOU BRAT--"
"JUST SHUT THE &$^# UP WOULD YOU?!" This last, inevitable outburst from Gohan was so loud, it would have taken a miracle for the women to miss it. Fortunately, with Dende temporarily out of commission, miracles were allowed to happen.
As the three Saiyans on the stairs, and the two Saiyans and half cyborg in the living room held their breath, not a peep was heard from the upstairs rooms that contained the women.
Goku, Gohan and Prince Vegeta let out a sigh of relief. Somehow, inexplicably, they had missed it. Unfortunately even a miracle couldn't conceal the piercing scream that followed. Wide-eyed, Goku, Gohan and the prince followed Bardock and King Vegeta into the kitchen to see the source of the scream lying writhing on the floor, still emitting helpless little mewls of distress.
"Goten!" Goku rushed to his son and picked up the shuddering boy. "What happened?" He demanded, piercing the shell shocked Chibi Trunks with a stare.
Trunks dazedly shook his head. "I...I told him not to...." with a little gulp he continued, " Goten...he ate...IT."
Prince Vegeta's eyes widened, "IT?!"
Chibi Trunks nodded fearfully, "We were looking for something to eat, and...and I was telling him about IT, and he said he could probably eat IT and live."
"Whoa," Gohan butt in, "Just what is IT?"
Chibi Trunks and Prince Vegeta looked at each other, and the prince nodded slowly. "IT," he explained, "is something so awful, so terrible, that IT was hidden in the back of the refrigerator and forgotten, many years ago. IT is a threat to Saiyans and humans alike, IT is the most terrible thing imaginable--"
"IT is this fruitcake mom made a few years ago," Chibi Trunks explained. "We hid IT back there because the garbage men weren't willing to take IT."
"Oh," Goku nodded understandingly, "So that's why we had chinese takeout for dinner that one Christmas...but...that smell--you said you were fumigating the house!"
Chibi Trunks smiled queasily, "It wasn't a lie. We haven't had so much as an ant since then."
At this point, Goten stirred in Goku's arms and cracked open one eye, "I ate IT, Trunks!" he croaked triumphantly.
Chibi Trunks eyes filled with tears, "You baka! You could have been killed- -wait!" Chibi Trunks' eyes widened in awe, "Goten, you can talk!"
Gohan, observing from the sidelines nodded wisely, "I guess even a wish granted by the eternal dragon couldn't suppress that kind of horror. And that first scream...it must have let it all loose."
Bardock opened his mouth, about to comment, but he was shoved roughly aside as Chichi barrelled into the kitchen, "What's going on here?! Goten, my poor baby, what have they done to you?!"
Chibi Trunks quickly sat down on the fuzzy mold-covered dish that had contained IT, effectively hiding it from view as Bulma and Videl pushed their way into the room, followed closely by 18, the Trunks', and Krillin who was blinking sleepily, still a bit dazed.
Bulma's brow furrowed suspiciously and she sniffed the air, scenting her prey in the trembling, nervous glare of her mate. "What have you been up to? Why does the kitchen smell like....mothballs?"
Goten coughed and fought back a gag. He'd known that IT had tasted familiar somehow.
Both older Trunks' eyes widened and Mirai Trunks looked at Super Trunks and nodded. They remembered IT too.
Opening her mouth to comment furthur, Bulma was cut off by a voice inside of her head, "Ahh, it's a good thing you're all gathered together there!"
At the sound of the voice, Gohan's eyes widened and he emitted a tiny whimper, "Voices..."
"Don't worry Gohan, I'm real. This is King Kai here. I'm calling long distance, and these rates are KILLING me...," a muffled giggle, "Maybe I should call collect." Another snicker. "Get it? Long distance? Rates? Call collect? Bwahahahaha!!!"
"Unless you want me to 'call collect' on your LIFE FORCE, I'd suggest you get on with it!" Prince Vegeta snapped in annoyance
King Kai snickered, "Oh, that's good. Call collect on my life force... anyway, I'm just calling you folks on behalf of Piccolo, since he's the acting Kami of earth."
Goten's brow furrowed and he exclaimed, "Huh? Why's Mr. Piccolo Kami? I thought Dende-sama was Kami! What happened to Dende-sama?"
A stunned silence filled the room, and every head save Goten, who was too weak, and Bardock and King Vegeta who had not yet been apprised of the situation, swiveled to stare suspiciously at Gohan.
"Huh? Don't look at me, I didn't do it!" Gohan yelped defensively.
King Kai chuckled, "Well, actually Gohan, in a sense, you did, just not the you that you know, the you that Mirai Trunks knows."
Everyone save Mirai Trunks stared blankly at the ceiling. "Umm, King Kai," Goku put in hesitantly, "That didn't really make much sense--"
"He's here," Mirai Trunks whispered, dread coating his voice with an icy white pallor.
"Who? Who's here?" Super Trunks demanded, shaking his terrified counterpart hard enough to rattle his teeth.
"You're right, Trunks," King Kai replied, three heads lifted at the sound of their name, and King Kai continued, "Evil Mirai Gohan has returned to this universe."
There was a moment of stunned silence, and then a loud thump, as with little a groan, Gohan flopped to the floor and banged his head against the linoleum. "Great. Just GREAT!"
_______________________
Erasa walked from the Buildanose Clinic, "Tailless Like Satan" sticker perched proudly on the left side of her chest. Glancing at her companion, she wrinkled her nose, "Shaaarpie! Why didn't you get that thing removed? It's....weird. And you heard what Mr. Satan said!"
Sharpener nodded and toyed with the tip of his limp blonde tail. He'd never admit it, but he actually kind of liked the thing. He'd always wanted a tail. "I already told you babe, they didn't have anymore slots open today. I made an appointment for day after tomorrow."
Erasa nodded guiltily. It wasn't Sharpener's fault he was stuck with that thing. In fact, though she'd never admit it, she actually thought it was kinda cute.
As the vacuous duo walked unknowingly down the street, and into danger, Mirai Gohan stood cursing on a nearby street corner.
_______________________
"Damn stupid piece of &$^% CRAP!" He shouted, giving the recalcitrant time machine one last kick. In the back, Dende snored drunkenly away, oblivious to the fact that Gohan planned on making God-shishkabob out of him.
Inside of the cabin, watching over Dende, Mirai Cell plotted. *Is now the time to make my move? I am the perfect being...and once I absorb the Maste- -NO! Gohan, the BRAT, once I absorb Gohan and that fool Buu, I will be the....well, the MORE Perfect Cell!!!!! MUAUAHAHAHAHAHA........*
Mirai Cell's internal laughter trailed off as he stalked cautiously towards the door of the time machine. Mirai Gohan stood with his back turned, cursing colorfully in several different languages, kicking the fender of the time machine hard enough to leave a dent.
With a small smirk of evil pleasure, Mirai Cell crept up behind Mirai Gohan, his lips twisting into a triumphant snarl. Raising his tail high into the air, Mirai Cell whipped the appendage down with unerring accuracy, the singing whine of displaced air a victorious anthem proclaiming his victory, when....
"GOOOOOHAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!"
Mirai Cell scowled and slipped quickly back into the shadows as the blondes nuisiances approached Mirai Gohan. They may have interrupted his plans, but not for long. Mirai Gohan's days were numbered. Mirai Cell would once again be the strongest being in the universe!
_______________________
Evil Mirai Gohan looked up in horror as he heard his name called. It couldn't be. There was no way that they could exist in this universe too-- it was impossible....seeing the grinning Erasa and Sharpener jogging towards him, Mirai Gohan concluded that it WAS possible. He also concluded that King Kai, or whoever had arranged for this had a very twisted sense of humor.
Glaring darkly at the approaching duo, Mirai Gohan considered blasting them. He recalled fondly the day he had shipped Sharpener off the planet Yresim. It was a tiny ice planet in the same solar system as Yardreb. He'd needed someone to man the outpost there and his good old buddy was perfect for the job. The average daily high topped out at -43 degrees Farenheit, and there were a total of 13 hours of sunlight in the entire year, which was roughly approximate to 400 earth days. Gohan thought it was an appropriate posting for Shapener. Last he'd heard, the post had been running low on everything from matches to rubber duckies. Gohan hadn't bothered to send a supply shipment.
Erasa was another story. Somehow she'd managed to become the leader of the human resistance force fighting against his rule. Mirai Gohan scowled at the bubbly airhead before him. How carefully she managed to hide her brain under those blonde masses.
Forcing a smile to his face, Mirai Gohan greeted the duo cheerfully, "Sharpener, buddy! Erasa, how are you?"
Sharpener's grin was huge, "Dude! You already got your tail removed," he exclaimed pointing to Mirai Gohan's behind, "Why didn't we see you there?"
Thinking quick, Mirai Gohan replied, "Oh, I went early." He had no idea what his 'friends' were talking about, but he HAD noticed the odd fact that this Sharpener touted a greasy blonde tail, slightly bent in the middle.
"Say," Mirai Gohan inquired innocently, a wonderful plan leaping to mind, "How would you two like to take a ride with me in my new...er...car?"
Erasa's eyes lit with wonder, "You...you mean it Gohan?!" she squealed ecstatically.
Sharpener leapt into the cabin, with Erasa close behind. Mirai Gohan winced as Erasa groped him in passing, seemingly out of instinct, and exerted all of his willpower, focusing on NOT destroying them. YET.
Giving the fender one last kick as Buu finally got it running, Evil Mirai Gohan smirked in delight at the girlish scream that emitted from the cabin. From the pitch and the terror the scream held, he guessed that Sharpener had met Mirai Cell.
Climbing into the contraption, Mirai Gohan smirked. His present self might not go to any trouble to rescue Dende, but there was no way that Mr. Goody- Two-Shoes would let Sharpener and Erasa suffer. Videl was as good as his....
______________________
Gohan kept his eyes fixed straight ahead of him, trying to ignore Videl's twitching tail as she flew beside him towards the lookout.
King Kai had insisted that they all adjourn to the lookout immediately, and had refused to clue them in on what was happening.
Bardock and King Vegeta flew side by side, discussing King Kai's words in hushed voices, and Prince Vegeta flew next to them with Bulma in his arms, casting Chichi and Goku wary and pissed-off looks, respectively.
The three Trunks' flew together, giving the impression of an odd purple blur against the clouds, while 18 half supported Krillin, who seemed to be arguing with himself, and carried Marron in one arm.
Beside his parents, Goten, still a bit queasy from his ordeal, had opted to ride Flying Nimbus, and the cloud, with some inherent sense of mischief, turned crazed loop-de-loops, rendering the poor boy a rather lovely shade of green.
Finally landing on Kami's lookout, the group was confronted with the morose faces of Piccolo and Mr. Popo. Tight lipped, Piccolo held the note Evil Mirai Gohan had delivered out for Goku to read.
Vegeta watched Goku puzzle out the letter for several long seconds before snatching it from his hands, and reading it aloud with an exasperated glare at his rival.
"Dearest Popo," With a sarcastic look, Vegeta added the silly giggle, face contorting into an expression of pained disgust. As the letter drew to a close, he finished mockingly, "Signed Sincerely, Gohan the Great, Almighty Ruler of the Universe, and Half of the Heavens (Ok, I made that last part up, but it sounds good, doesn't it Mr. Piccolo? Don't you think?)" Rolling his eyes ironically at the Gohan standing before him, he stated dryly, "No. It doesn't."
Gohan wrenched his eyes from the appendage twitching so bewitchingly from Videl's backside, and yanked his hand guiltily back from where it had been headed. "Huh?"
Vegeta smirked, "Forget it brat. Continue with what you were doing."
"What?" Videl glared suspiciously at Gohan, "And just what was he doing?"
Vegeta grinned evilly, "Well it looked to me like he was about to grab your a--"
"Dende's been godnapped!" Gohan yelped, "Isn't it terrible? We really need to do something...heh...." Gohan smiled weakly at Videl's angry glare and Chichi's ecstatic sigh.
Piccolo nodded seriously, "Yes, that is the subject at hand, the question is, what are we going to do about it?"
Gohan sighed in relief at the change of subject and wandered over to where Goten still perched queasily on Flying Nimbus. Sitting on the edge of the cloud, he wracked his brain. On the cusp of a brilliant idea, Gohan was yanked back to earth by the seductive allure of Videl's tail as it twitched in agitation at the long silence. It was beautiful...*So supple, so sleek, so....*
"AHHHHHHHH!" Gohan hit the ground with a hard thump and stared angrily up at Flying Nimbus. "What was that for?" He demanded glaring at the golden mass that still held Goten perched safely above the ground.
Nimbus winked an innocent golden color, and Goku came up behind his son and put a hand on his shoulder, "Having impure thoughts, Gohan?" He whispered with a little smirk.
Nimbus seemed to quiver with suppressed laughter, and Gohan shot it an embarassed glare. That cloud was really beginning to get on his nerves.
"Nevermind that," Piccolo growled, saving his old student from any more embarrassment. "It's time for us to go meet this Mirai Gohan and figure out just what it is he wants."
"So the note was right," Vegeta growled, "The Namek knows where the brat is hiding."
Piccolo stood silent for a moment, an expression of immense dignity gracing his features, then, looking Vegeta straight in the eye, one antenna twitching in annoyance, growled, "Not a clue."
***Hope you liked it. This chapter was dragged out with the assistance of the jaws of life. I'd like to thank everyone on the emergency rescue crew for helping to release this chapter--arigato! Thanks to those of you who emailed me--you really cheered me up!***
Advertising--Read something by Sparrow319. She's a really good author! Oh, and Chibi Vegeta by Burenda. Very funny--think of all the horrible ways a chibified Vegeta could be tortured and throw them into one story! Vegeta deserves it--he was mean to Trunks! *sniff*...